Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ Burn ❯ Chapter 14 Roxas ( Chapter 14 )

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Kingdom Hearts or Kingdom Hearts II, no matter how much I want to. I'm just borrowing them.

Chapter 14 Roxas

I swear someone up there really hates me. How else can you explain all the shit that has happened to me? First I was born to a family that doesn't love me. Well, almost no one loves me. Sora loves me. And I have godparents that love me. But not parents.

I had friends once. Until Kairi turned the school against my brother, Riku, and me. Now the only friend I have is Naminé. I tried to kill myself and failed.

Then I met Axel.

He wasn't like anyone else I had ever met before. I know this sounds totally lame, but around him, I didn't feel like I had to hide who I was. I could just be…me. I started falling in love with him. I was starting to feel happy again. Then they took Axel away from me. It was totally and completely unfair. I don't know if I loved him or not. I mean I barely knew the guy, but there was something there. Then he was gone, taken out of my life.

The gods must really hate me. They're making my life a living hell. Well, to be fair, I hate them too. They've totally fucked up my life.

After Axel left, nothing of real consequence happened. He made things interesting and now that he was gone, nothing interesting happened. Day in and day out, the same thing happened. I woke up, got breakfast, Allison changed my clothes and my sheets, and every other day gave me a bath, and put me back. Then I would have visitors until lunch. After lunch, I would hang around until my night nurse Jasmine came in, getting dinner sometime before she came in. Then I would go to sleep and repeat the process the next day.

After a while, I started physical therapy with Marluxia. Weird guy. Nice, just kind of weird. Like Axel, only less weird. God I miss Axel. I'm not ashamed to admit that. He really was something. My life was a living hell. I got all the proof I needed that the gods hate my guts one night about a week after Axel left.

Everything was normal. The day had gone by slowly and included even more physical therapy, visits from my family, and normal, regular meals. It was about 9 at night when my night nurse Jasmine came in, a strange expression on her face.

“Jasmine? What's wrong?” I asked.

Jasmine looked at me funny. “You're getting a new roommate, another suicide attempt.”

“Okay…” I didn't understand.

I wouldn't understand until they brought him in. Yes, him. A `him' I had already met. I stared at the boy being wheeled in, still not fully comprehending the situation.

“Why?” I whispered.

That was the big question. Why would anyone want to do this to themselves? Why did I try to take my own life? Suddenly, nothing made sense anymore.

“Zex…ion,” I managed to get out.

I swear I saw a flicker of life in his eyes when I said his name, but it must have been my imagination because nothing changed. He didn't wake up or anything.

“Poor kid,” the nurse who was pushing him murmured. “Hate to have to see him back here again.”

“Wait,” I said, confused. “He's been here before? This has happened before?”

“Oh yes,” the nurse replied. “Poor kid has been in and out of the hospital for a long time. Hasn't been right in the head since the accident.”

“Accident?” I repeated softly, horrified.

The nurse nodded. “He lost his parents when he was ten in a car accident. Hasn't been the same since. Mentally unstable.”

“I…never knew that.”

“It's not something he really likes to talk about.”

“You know him?”

The nurse shrugged. “I've dealt with him before.”

“So you know Axel then, don't you?” I asked.

“Yeah, a little,” the nurse answered slowly.

“Did he know? About Zexion?”

“I'm not sure how much Axel knows. He's always been so damn hard to read.” The nurse sighed quietly. “Look kid, I'd like to stick around and talk more, but I have to finish my rounds. But if you want, I can come back in the morning and we can talk some more.”

“Wait. Who…who are you?” I stammered as the nurse went to the door.

The nurse flashed a smile. “Paine. I'm Zex's older sister.”

“His…?” I questioned, but it was useless; she was gone.

I didn't sleep much that night. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Zexion's unhappy face and it bothered me all night. I opened my eyes the next morning thinking it was just some fucked up dream, but then I saw Zexion laying peacefully on the side of the room Axel once occupied and realized that it wasn't a dream after all.

After breakfast, Paine came in not dressed in her nurse's uniform. It was strange, but I recognized her right away.

“Heya kid,” she said. “How ya doing?”

I shrugged. “I've been better.”

Paine chuckled bitterly. “Yeah, I hear you.” She sat by my side. “So…”

“Are you really Zexion's sister?” I asked. “You don't really look like him.”

“Yeah, I know. It's weird, but we are siblings. I haven't seen Zexion for…god…a good seven or eight years. Since before the accident.”

“What happened?” I asked.

“It was really simple. They were driving in icy conditions, the car slid off the road, slammed into a tree. Both of them died right away. Zexion was fine, amazingly. Only got a couple cuts and bruises, but mentally, he was scarred. He's been unstable ever since, going in and out of the hospital for suicide attempts. He's been to the Psych Ward more than once, but it hasn't helped him. I thought having Axel around would help him but…”

“But his parents broke them up,” I finished.

“How did you know that?” Paine stared at me.

“I talked to Zexion. He told me that he and Axel dated once. He didn't tell me why they broke up, but I was able to fill in the blanks,” I replied.

“Well you're very perceptive. Yeah, they broke because of Axel's parents. And I'd hate to say it, but they broke Axel too. It was around the time he started becoming mentally unstable as well. I mean really unstable. He started burning himself instead of burning things. Zexion worried for him, but he was also worrying for himself. Do you understand what I mean?”

I did.

“Yeah.” I nodded. “I know exactly what you mean.”

“So Zexion has been really stressed out lately, worrying about Axel and himself.” Paine sighed softly. “I hate seeing him like this.”

“I'm confused,” I confessed. “If your parents are dead and you haven't seen your brother in over seven years, who does he live with then?”

Paine smiled sadly. “He lives with Axel's brother.”

I felt the breath leave me. “Axel has a brother?! I didn't know that! Why didn't he ever come when Axel was in the hospital?”

“Axel's parents are the reason Reno has been absent from his brother's life. Like me, Reno doesn't get along with his parents. Reno is so different from them. It's kind of funny. Axel is a lot like Reno. I think that's the reason they try and keep Reno away from him; they think he's a bad influence. Reno is…well he's difficult to describe.”

“He must be really like Axel then,” I muttered.

“Yeah.” Paine smiled slightly.

“So why is Zexion living with Axel's brother? Unless he's Zexion's godfather.”

“Bingo.”

“But why? How did Axel's brother get to be Zexion's godfather?”

“It was quite accidental. The man who was supposed to be Zexion's godfather didn't show up so Reno stepped in and became his godfather. My parents weren't planning on having Reno be Zexion's godfather forever but they never got around to changing it. So after they died, he went to live with Reno.”

“But what about you?” I asked. “You're his sister, aren't you? Wouldn't he go and live with your or some other family member?”

“We don't have any other living family member. And as for me, it was ruled by the court that I was unfit to take care of my brother because I…” Paine sighed softly. “I have a girlfriend.”

The surprises never cease. I stared at Paine for several minutes, but I could see it. She could be a lesbian.

“I'm sorry,” I whispered. “That is totally unfair.”

“I know,” Paine replied. “There's nothing I can do about it. Zexion remains in Reno's care. Speaking of, that stupid redhead should be here by now.”

“Who're you callin' stupid?” a man drawled.

I stared as a tall, thin man swept into the room wearing a pair of black pants and a white shirt with a jacket over it. The jacket was unzipped and his shirt was untucked. Long unkempt red hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail. He was an older version of Axel, around twenty eight or so.

The man chuckled when he saw me staring.

“You must be Roxas,” he said.

“Yes. How…how do you know?”

Reno chuckled more. “I've heard about you through Zexion.”

“Oh. Y...yeah.”

Reno's face suddenly turned serious as he turned toward Zexion.

“How is he?” he asked.

“No change.” Paine shook her head.

“Damn,” Reno cursed softly. “First Axel and now him.” He shook his head. His pager went off. “Excuse me.”

He hurriedly exited the room. I stared after him. The guy was freaking bipolar! One minute he's laughing and the next he's stony faced.

What the hell? After a few moments, Reno came back in.

“Sorry, I've gotta go,” he said. “Duty calls.”

“Go on Reno. I'll stay with him,” Paine said softly.

Reno smiled at me. “Nice to meet you Roxas.”

“Y…you too,” I stammered.

Making people nervous must have run in the family. Not only did Axel make me nervous, but his parents did as well. I did still see them from time to time when Axel was still here.

I stared after Reno. He was so freaking weird! The whole family was.

Paine smiled at my reaction. “He's a wild card, isn't he? And he's supposedly the `normal' one of the family.”

“That's considered normal?” I asked.

“Well, compared to Axel and their parents…”

“Point taken,” I muttered. “What does he do for a living?”

“He works for Shin-Ra,” Payne answered.

“He…?” I breathed.

“I know it may not look like it, but he's actually a top member.”

Shin-Ra Electric Power Company. Not only do those guys deal with power, but they also have control of the police department. Don't ask me how it works. I never really paid attention to that.

“I can't believe it,” I finally said.

“I know. It's weird. Actually, that's another reason why Axel's parents don't let him see him. They don't exactly think highly of Shin-Ra.”

“Oh.”

“Don't worry. Reno is a halfway decent guy. Unlike some of the sleaze-balls there. Actually, I'm kind of surprised Reno has continued working at Shin-Ra. He's not really the type of guy to tolerate someone as sleazy as Rufus. Oh well. I'm sure you'll see more of Reno around.”

I didn't know what else to say. Payne finally left and my brother came in for another visit after lunch. The rest of the day passed by fast. Reno came back in later and stayed until visiting hours were over. But Zexion never moved an inch.

It took me a while before I actually got the courage to ask Reno about Zexion.

“What would you like to know about him?” Reno asked.

“How long has he been trying to kill himself?”

Reno sighed softly. “Ever since the accident when he was ten. He's been in and out of the hospital several times. He's visited the Psych Ward a couple times. I've tried to get him the help he needs, but it hasn't worked. I'm at my wits end.”

“What are you going to do now?” I asked.

“I'm not sure.” Reno shook his head. “I don't know what else there is to do.”

“Reno?” a soft, tired voice asked.

Reno and I turned. It was Zexion. He was awake at last, staring dazedly at the ceiling.

“What…happened?” Zexion asked.

“You're at the hospital,” Reno answered rather harshly. “Don't you remember? Don't you remember what you tried to do?” Zexion shook his head. “You poisoned yourself. You almost died.”

“I should have,” Zexion muttered.

Reno rose angrily. “Don't say that! Don't ever say that again! First I almost lost Axel and now you!” Reno inhaled sharply. “I couldn't even see him. When he was in the hospital, they wouldn't even let me see him once.”

There was a pause.

“I'm sorry,” Zexion whispered. “All I ever do is hurt people. I hurt Axel…I hurt you…”

“Don't say that,” Reno said impatiently. “If it's anyone's fault, it's my parents. I have such a fucked up family. I'm sorry you had to get involved Zex.”

Zexion shrugged. “I'm as fucked up as you guys. It fits.”

“Make that three of us,” I said grimly.

Reno chuckled weakly.

“Does it ever get any better?” I asked. “I mean, god, I can't control my negative thoughts. No matter how hard I try, I can't think of anything positive.”

Zexion looked like he wanted to say yes, but hesitated.

“I don't know kid,” Reno answered sadly. “I just…I can't answer that. Only you can.”

I nodded. He was right.

To be continued…

A/N: So how many of you were expecting those twists? To be honest, I didn't know until I started writing out the chapter. As I was going along, I was like, “whoa. Yeah, that's a good thing to add in” and it just kept happening over and over again. I couldn't help bringing Reno in. He's a great character. And yes, I bought Shin-Ra in as well. I kinda had to. But don't worry. They won't have a prominent role in this. Just Reno. Maybe. I don't know. Can't believe I managed to finish this in a day. I should really study for my Lit final. But I don't wanna.