Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ Burn ❯ Chapter 15 Reno ( Chapter 15 )

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy. Nor am I making any money by writing this.

A/N: God, I'm so sorry for abandoning this for so long! I started writing this chapter out on a legal pad and I got about two pages done, but then the first page got detached and I lost it! I lost my motivation to work on it for so long. Then I decided to concentrate on Identity so this got neglected. It didn't help that the first page is gone. So now I have to rewrite it. -cries out in frustration—

Chapter 15 Reno

I fucking hate my parents.

They are seriously the worst parents in history. They never should have been parents in the first place. Yeah, they're that bad. I was the result of a fling in college that led them to get married. Both of them came from old-fashioned families so the only choice they had was to get married. Despite my strict upbringing, I was a wild child. My parents tried everything they could, but I was unbreakable. Finally, they gave up on me and even though they never really wanted kids in the first place, they decided to try for another. They struggled for so long.

I was eleven when Axel came along. He was adored and loved. He was everything my parents hoped I would be but never got. I was jealous of him, very jealous. I resented my baby brother and refused to have anyting to do with him, which suited my parents just fine.

Then Axel turned two.

He entered what people called “the terrible twos” but for him, “terrible twos” was a gross understatement. I grew really attached to him after I learned how destructive he could be. My parents forced me to baby-sit him more than once and over time, I got attached to the little bugger.I was thirteen, by the way.

Not only did my parents have to deal with a terrorizing two year-old, they also had to deal with a moody, hormonal male teenager. Boy did I raise hell. Axel and I were great together.

Which is why my parents felt they had to intervene. After Axel got out of his “terrible-twos” stage, they thought he'd calm down again, but he didn't. They blamed me for corrupting Axel and causing him to turn rebellious. I was sent away to live with some distant relatives and they got rid of all traces of me. They made it so I never even existed. Axel was too little to understand. I never expected him to understand.

He doesn't even know he has a brother.

It tortured me so much to live with the knowledge that I could never see my little brother again. See, my parents are very rich and powerful, so they pulled a bunch of strings, and made it so I can't legally visit my brother. I can't even tell him who I really am.

There's one thing though.

Axel's best friend is my godson.

It's a funny story, actually. It all began after I had graduated from high school. I lived a normal life with the distant relatives I was living with and I had even grown up and stopped acting like a wild child.

Anyway, I graduated high school and started my training for Shin-Ra Power Electric Company. It's a long story how that came about. My parents had been with this other family for ages and they had a son my brother's age named Zexion. Of course, he and Axel became best friends.

For whatever reason, Zexion wasn't baptized until he was seven. The man who was supposed to be Zexion's godfather didn't show up so in a pinch, they grabbed me with every intention of changing it later, which never happened. Three years later, Zexion's parents were killed in a car accident so he came to live with me. Another fluke. He only had one living relative: his sister Paine, but she was ruled unfit to raise Zexion so I got him instead. It's not that I'm not happy, it's just that…well I'm not so great with kids.

All of a sudden, I had to provide for a ten year-old kid who had been traumatized by the death of his parents. Yeah, this was going to be fun. Zexion was a good kid, except that he kept trying to, you know, off himself. That was a problem.

The other thing I had to deal with besides my suicidal godkid was that Axel was now back in my life. Yeah, there was a long legal battle over that one. Finally, the judge decided, much to the dismay of my parents, that as long as I didn't tell Axel who I was, I could at least see him. Even so, I tried to keep my distance from him. I knew that if I tried to get involved with him, it would end up hurting me so much more.

There was another thing that made my life so very difficult. Zexion somehow found out the truth that Axel was my brother. To this day, I don't have any idea how he found this out. He certainly was smart, I'll give him that. At first, when he confronted me, I denied it, but he was not convinced.

“Reno, don't lie to me,” he said crossly. “I'm not dumb. It's not hard to see the resemblance between you and Axel. I've seen the way you act around him. He's your brother. You want to get closer to him, but at the same time you don't because you're afraid it'll hurt you even more.”

I stared at him, amazed. He was incredibly intelligent, had superb analytical skills, and could see right through my denials. It was kinda creepy to know an eleven year-old who could do this.

I had to smile. “You know, you're pretty smart.” Zexion did not say anything but I could see a faint hint of color rising in his insanely pale cheeks. “You're right. Axel is my brother. But you can't tell him, okay? You can't tell anyone.”

“Why not?” Zexion asked curiously.

“Because…” I hesitated before launching into a watered-down explanation someone of his age would understand.

He seemed to get it though, because he nodded thoughtfully. “Yes, that makes sense. A lot of things make sense now.” He seemed to be talking more to himself now. Then, he looked up at me. “Reno, I'm going to tell you something, something I've never told anyone else before, okay?”

“Okay…” I was confused and a bit nervous about what Zexion wanted to tell me.

Zexion looked like he was trying to steady himself. “I'm scared Reno. Really scared.”

It wasn't what I was expecting. I blinked. “Huh?”

“I'm really scared,” Zexion repeated.

I could see that he was getting distressed, which was something that happened with him quite a bit. He gets himself worked up about things and will sometimes even go into a full-fledged panic attack.

“Relax Zexion,” I said soothingly.

Thank god Zexion's therapist gave me some tools to help calm him down whenever he has a panic attack.

After a few minutes, Zexion had calmed back down.

“Now…what were you trying to tell me?” I said.

Zexion took in a deep shuddering breath. “I'm scared. About Axel.”

“Axel?” I asked, confused. “Why?”

“For as long as I've known him, he's acted strange,” Zexion began. “He has some really weird behavior that's definitely not normal.”

“Like what?” I frowned.

“He likes to burn things. Whatever he can get his hands on.” Zexion was speaking rapidly now. He was on a roll. “He…he's always been disobedient. Wild.”

“Have you told anyone else about this?” I interrupted. “Tried to get him some help?”

“His parents tried therapy and a bunch of other things, but it didn't help at all,” Zexion answered. “There's something else too.” Zexion looked really scared now. “If you try and grab his arm, he'll lose control.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“He just goes crazy. He becomes incredibly violent and screams incoherently.”

“Do…?” I started.

“They know. They've seen his outbreaks, but they haven't done anything useful about it,” Zexion replied coolly.

“I see.” I thought for a few moments. “Well, I'll keep my eye on him and if it looks really bad, we'll get our own help, okay?”

“Okay.” Zexion nodded.

As I promised, I kept my eye on Axel, whenever he came to the apartment Zexion and I shared. Zexion being the sneaky bastard he is, managed to convince Axel to come over quite often. I saw right away what Zexion meant; there was just something not right with Axel. It was hard to say why; half the time, he acted completely normal. But there were times when it was fairly obvious that there was something wrong with him. Over the years, it seemed to get worse and worse.

Meanwhile, Zexion's mental health was on a steady decline. He tried to kill himself a couple times and was in and out of the hospital. He even spent some time in the Psychiatric Ward. By the time he was about to start high school, he had stabilized and was able to live quite normally. During that time was when Axel met and started dating the bitch known as Larxene. That relationship was mercifully short; Larxene was controlling and abusive (physically, mentally, verbally, and sexually) and Axel wouldn't stand for it.

After that, I got a huge surprise when Axel and Zexion started dating. I wasn't against it or anything; I'm totally fine with two guys having a relationship and shit, I just wasn't expecting Axel and Zexion to date. They were quite opposite when it came to their personalities. One would think they would be enemies, but they had always gotten along well. I didn't mind the relationship at all. They were happy. I think the happiest I ever saw Zexion was when he was dating Axel.

Needless to say, my parents didn't approve and broke them up. It hurt both of them so much. It was so painful to watch. Something finally shattered within Axel. He had been threatening to break for some time, but after his parents broke Zexion and him up, he finally broke. He wasn't the same after that. It was clear that Zexion was extremely stressed—he was worried not only about himself, but also about Axel's rapidly declining mental health.

Finally, when he was seventeen, Axel started a fire in his room and got burned really bad. If Zexion hadn't been there and had been brave enough to intervene, Axel wouldn't have made it. Axel ended up in the hospital and I wasn't allowed to visit him. It was torture for me, absolute torture. I had to rely on Zexion to give me updates on Axel's condition. It was the worst feeling in the world.

Axel hung in there and started getting better physically, although his mental health was barely intact. He was given a full psychological evaluation and it was determined that he needed to be admitted into the Psychiatric Ward as soon as possible because it was clear that whatever the hell was going on with him, it was serious.

Things went smoothly for a while and then Axel got a roommate, Roxas. I learned about all this through Zexion, although he was very reluctant to talk about it.

“Tell me about Roxas,” I persisted after learning that Axel had gotten a roommate.

“He's really quiet,” Zexion said. “He doesn't talk very much although Axel can get him to open up. I'm not surprised, though. Axel has always been like that. He can get anyone to open up even if they don't want to.”

“How did he try to kill himself?” I asked.

“He jumped off the clock tower in town,” Zexion answered.

“Yeesh,” I muttered. “Family?”

“Parents who treat him badly, a gay twin brother named Sora, and godparents who are a gay couple. They act as Roxas's guardians since his parents don't really seem to care about him that much.”

“What's your assessment of the situation?” I wanted to know.

“Roxas has a couple friends he's close with, his brother cares for him a lot, as do his godparents. The only problem is his parents. They've treated him cruelly for all his life so he's trying to win their approval by trying to disappear.” Zexion's expression was sad.

“What about Axel? What does he think of Roxas?” This interested me the most.

“Axel seems to have taken a liking to him. As I said before, he's gotten Roxas to open up where others can't. I think…” Zexion hesitated. “I think Roxas will be the one to heal Axel.”

Zexion wouldn't ever admit it, but it hurt him to see Axel being healed by Roxas. I knew that deep down, Zexion still loved Axel. It hurt him because he wanted to be the one to heal Axel, only he wasn't able to. He fell deeper and deeper into a depression.

Finally, he tried to kill himself and ended up in the hospital. Ironically, he ended up as Roxas's roommate because Axel had been moved to the Psychiatric Ward. That meant I got to meet him for myself.

I remember the first time I saw Roxas. I had gotten a call at work and they told me that Zexion was in the hospital after an attempted suicide. I didn't like leaving Zexion home alone so I had arranged for our neighbor Yuna to go and check on him from time to time and that was how she had discovered Zexion on the bathroom floor. He had tried to poison himself. I didn't bother finding out all the grisly details.

They wouldn't even let me see him until the next morning. Stupid fucking hospital rules. I had to report to work first and as soon as I had explained everything to my boss Rufus, he let me go up to the hospital to see him. Rufus already knew that I was the caretaker of a suicidal teenager so he was used to me having to go up to the hospital.

After getting some directions from a nurse (I got lost, okay? That hospital is friggin' huge!), I approached Zexion's room. I heard voices, one male, and one female. The boy's voice was strange to m, but I recognized the woman's voice as Paine's. Remember her? Zexion's older lesbian sister (that was why she wasn't allowed to take care of Zexion, because the courts are fucked up like that). She's a nurse at the hospital so that was how I learned that Roxas was Zexion's new roommate. Anyway, I stood outside the door unnoticed for a while, listening into the conversation she was having with whom I assumed was Roxas.

“I know,” she said. “There's nothing I can do about it. Zexion remains in Reno's care. Speaking of, that stupid redhead should be here by now.”

Don't be fooled. Paine and I have a long history and we tease each other all the time. Our families have been friends for ages, after all.

I took that opportunity to make my presence known.

“Who're you callin' stupid?” I asked, stepping into the hospital room.

I winced a little; I hated hospital rooms. I hated hospitals in general. This was one of the typical hospital rooms with two beds with curtains around them, medical equipment, and the smell of rubbing alcohol, bandages, and cleaning products.

In the left bed was my godson, sleeping peacefully. A breathing mask was placed over his nose and mouth, he was deathly pale, and there was an IV in his small arm, but other than that, he didn't look bad. I looked over at the other bed.

A blond haired boy was sitting up, propped up by several large pillows, looking at me curiously. He was a couple years younger than my brother and Zexion. I could see right away how Axel could fall for someone like him—he was incredibly cute. Long blond hair stood up in messy spikes, sometimes falling into his eyes. His eyes. Oh my god. They were stunning, a light shade of blue I had never seen before. They appeared to be on fire. His face was still smooth and boyish, though I could see how his facial features had hardened from his stint in the hospital.

He wore a standard hospital gown and his arm was in a sling though there wasn't a cast. I had heard from Zexion that he had broken his arm but it was on the mend. He had even had his cast removed while still in the hospital. They just kept it in a sling to keep it still because his shoulder, which had been dislocated, wasn't fully healed yet. It was very close though. That was how long he had been staying in the hospital. He wasn't being supported by oxygen and he didn't have an IV in his arm. Besides the fact that he had his arm in a sling and he was a bit on the thin side, he looked like he didn't belong in the hospital. Yet looks were deceiving.

He was staring at me, his mouth hanging slightly open. I chuckled at his reaction.

“You must be Roxas,” I said.

He looked astonished. “Yes. How…how do you know?”

I chuckled even more. “I've heard a lot about you through Zexion.”

“Oh. Y…yeah,” Roxas stammered. He got flustered quite easily. I turned back to Zexion, all business now. “How is he?”

“No change,” Paine said from Roxas's side.

“Damn,” I muttered. “First Axel and now him.” My pager chose the most unfortunate time to go off. I swore under my breath. Why now, of all times?! “Excuse me.”

I went out in the hall and found a nearby pay phone. I called Shin-Ra's number.

“Hey, it's me,” I said in a low voice when my partner Rude answered. “You have terrible timing, you know.”

“I'm sorry Reno,” Rude apologized. “I know this is not a good time for you. Believe me, I would not be calling you in but I have no other choice. One of the reactors is malfunctioning and unless we get it back up soon, half the city will lose power.”

“Aw,” I groaned. There was no way in hell I could ignore this. “Fine. I'll be there as soon s I can.”

“Thank you,” Rude said softly.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” I hung up and went back to Zexion's room. “Sorry, I've gotta go.”

Luckily, Paine understood my dilemma. “Go on Reno. I'll stay with him.”

I smiled over at Roxas. “Nice to meet you, Roxas.”

“Y…you too,” Roxas stammered.

That was the first time I met Roxas.

I came back as much as possible to be with Zexion, who had not woken up yet. Roxas was very shy. I could tell that he wanted to talk to me, but he was too shy to work up the courage to. It took him a while before he could talk to me.

“Reno, can you tell me about Zexion?” he asked me one day.

“What would you like to know/” I tried to sound unintimidating.

I didn't want to scare the poor boy even more. I could tell that he was afraid of me. I intimidated him. I have that effect on people.

“How long has he been trying to kill himself?”

I sighed softly. “Ever since the accident when he was ten. He's been in and out of the hospital several times. He's visited the Psych Ward a couple times. I've tried to get him the help he needs, but it hasn't worked. I'm at my wits end.”

“What are you going to do now?” Roxas asked.

“I don't know,” I answered weakly. I shook my head. “I don't know what else there is to do.”

“Reno?” a voice asked.

It was exhausted and weak, full of pain. I turned along with Roxas. To both our surprise, Zexion had finally woken up, his eyes trying to focus on something, which just happened to be the ceiling.

“What happened?” he asked with much difficulty, looking over at me.

“You're at the hospital,” I answered a little more harshly than I'd intended.

But I was so fucking sick of this. I was sick of getting the call informing me that Zexion had been taken to the hospital for an attempted suicide or making the call for an ambulance to take him for the hospital because I had discovered that he had tried to drown himself and was laying senseless in the bathroom. I was so fucking sick of worrying, of getting this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach because this could be the time Zexion succeeded in killing himself. I was sick of worrying that I might have to bury Zexion, something no parent ever wants to do. Because I had become Zexion's parent. He was my son. I loved him.

“Don't you remember?” I continued to Zexion. “Don't you remember what you tried to do?” Zexion shook his head. “You poisoned yourself. You almost died.”

“I should have,” Zexion muttered.

That did it. My rage boiled over. I rose angrily. “Don't say that! Don't ever say that again!” I was shouting but I didn't care anymore. “First I almost lost Axel and now you!” I inhaled sharply, trying so hard to not cry. Fuck, I was losing it. “I couldn't even see him. When he was in the hospital. They wouldn't even let me see him once.” My voice cracked slightly.

There was a pause. Paine rose to intercept the nurses who were hurrying in, attracted by my shouts. It took some convincing, but they finally left.

“I'm sorry,” Zexion whispered. “All I ever do is hurt people. I hurt Axel…I hurt you…”

“Don't say that,” I cut him off. “If it's anyone's fault, it's my parents. I have such a fucked up family.” I shook my head. “I'm sorry you had to get involved.”

Zexion shrugged off the apology. “I'm as fucked up as you guys. It fits.”

“Make that two of us,” Roxas muttered.

I chuckled weakly.

“Does it ever get any better?” Roxas asked, looking at me. “I mean, god, I can't control my negative thoughts. No matter how hard I try, I can't think of anything positive.” He looked like he wanted to cry.

I said the first thing that came to my mind. “I don't know kid. I just…I can't answer that. Only you can.”

Roxas seemed to agree.

---------------------------------------------------

Instead of getting better, Zexion only seemed to be getting worse. He quit talking one day, which baffled the doctors. Now he never says a word. Roxas and I talked quite a bit more. He already knew that I was Axel's brother because Paine had told him that, but he didn't know that it was a secret so I filled him in on that little bit. He seemed to understand and promised to keep my secret. I hated having to have him get involved too, but I had no choice. He had become involved with Axel and he deserved to know the truth. But I trusted him to keep the secret.

A psychiatric evaluation was done for Zexion and they determined that he had to be admitted to the Psychiatric Ward. They also decided that Roxas had to be moved there as well. I immediately gave my consent to have Zexion moved. Even though it hadn't worked before, I was out of options. This was my last resort. Zexion was obviously too dangerous to stay in the outside world because he kept trying to hurt himself. So the only choice I had left was to send him back to the Psychiatric Ward and hope that they were able to help him and this time it was for good.

To be continued…

A/N: How's that for some back story? Now you know why Axel said he was an only child a couple chapters back. He doesn't remember Reno at all. Speaking of Reno, I hope I did okay with his character. -winces—

I'm sorry about the lack of dialogue in this chapter. It was painful to write because I'm used to writing a lot of dialogue, but I really couldn't fit it in. This chapter would be insanely long if I had expanded on every scene. So I just picked out the most important ones and threw in some dialogue to counter all the explaining. I'm sorry!!! I hope this chapter wasn't too horrible to read. Holy crap, this chapter turned out to be a lot longer than I had originally thought. Let me know if you see any typos. I went back and proofread this, but I always seem to miss a ton of typos and other miscellaneous grammatical errors.