Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ Contrl is an Illusion ❯ Death of A Kitty Cat ( Chapter 4 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Koji Inari 
Anger is a hard emotion to control.
Non Anime: Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Hentai / Psychological / Romance / Angst | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 01.20.2007 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.4K | Visits: 461 | Status: Work In Progress
Anger is a hard emotion to control.
Non Anime: Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Hentai / Psychological / Romance / Angst | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 01.20.2007 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.4K | Visits: 461 | Status: Work In Progress
: I don’t own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix does
Music: AFI-Rabbits are Road kill on Route 37 (Once again!)
Rating: M
Warnings: Yaoi, rape, alcohol, and a crap load of other stuff.
Author’s Note: This chapter contains a lot of violence to a helpless kitty. Also, lots of blood.
Oh and I guess I should add that Sephiroth dies, but who really cares what happens to him? I’m more worried about the cat.
Sephiroth: you are so mean!!Koji: so?
Cloud: Yay! Sephiroth dies!
Sephiroth: -runs in a corner and cries-
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I felt confused and scared. My whole body was bruised up, and I was now aware of a dull ache in my movements. I had to have been hurt for some time with the condition I was in, but for the life of me I couldn’t remember why or how I got beat up. It was as if my memories had grown wings and flown out the window.
Mt resting place wasn’t very clean, just a dark alley, but it was dark, and quiet. I could think here.
I nodded off into that dream-like state you sometimes go into, you know, the feeling you get right before you go to sleep? It was relaxing, and it allowed me some time to think. Why I couldn’t remember was beyond me. And why Leon had tried to stop me from leaving baffled me. Leon knew I hated hospitals, yet there he was trying to make me go to one. Ever since my mom had died I’d been scared of them…
And he called the police on me Were my bruises really bad enough to call the police> Slowly I looked down and examined the bruises I could see. They were nasty, but as to how I had got them, or where I had gotten them I could only speculate. If I thought about it too hard it made my head hurt. It was as if some invisible force were blocking me from accessing my memories.
“Gahh!!” I cried, slumping down in defeat. “I’ll never figure it out! Damn what is wrong with me?” I ran a nervous hand through my hair, and upon finding that it calmed me down, repeated the action several times.
“I give up.” I mumbled. I plopped over so that my back was to the ground, and I was looking up into the sky. It was beautiful, a perfect blue without end, and without a cloud in the sky.
I snickered at the thought, not even the sky wanted me.
-----------------------------------
WARNING: COMING UP IS THE SCENE WHERE THERE IS A LOT OF BLOOD AND OTHER NASTY THINGS. THERE WILL BE A MUTILATED CAT, AS WELL AS SEPHIROTH’S DEATH. HURRAY FOR A DEAD SEPHIROTH, I’M SURE YOU ALL WANT HIM TO ROT IN HELL FOR WHAT HE DID TO CLOUD.
-----------------------------------
When I woke up it was dark. That light blue sky I had seen had by now turned purple-black, with little pricks of light here and there for stars. I was surprised no one had found me, but then again that made me happy, because right now I was free , and didn’t have to answer to anyone. I could do what I wanted.
I wanted to go home.
But as to where my home was I wasn’t sure. My house was not my home, I never really belonged there., yet the school wasn’t really home either. ‘Maybe my home is this alley.’ I thought wryly. ‘After all, it’s the first bit of peace I’ve had in months.’
The strangeness of that thought never struck me. I still could not recall anything that had happened to me in the last 24 hours, yet still I was dreading the trip to my house. Maybe it was because I knew inside what dad’s reaction would be.
So I made my journey to my house. The car was parked in front of the garage, so dad was definitely home. It must have been nearly midnight if the dark was any way to tell time. And something in my mind warned me to stay away.
I ignored it. Instead, I opened the door to the house. Dad was nowhere to be seen. ‘He’s probably passed out’ I thought.
I made my way over to my room, The light was off so I flipped the switch, but nothing happened.. I then remembered that I had turned the light off using the fan pull this morning, so if I wanted light I’d have to pull on that again.
That course of action was quickly dismissed. I didn’t care if I could see or not, all I knew was that, despite my nap in the alley, I was tired.
I plopped down on the bed and prepared to fall asleep when, quite suddenly, I felt something wet and sticky against my neck.
‘What the hell?’ I thought. I turned my head to see what it was, and felt my nose brush something furry.
“Tabby?” I inquired. The cat didn’t respond. Normally he meows when I call out his name. Worried, I got up and pulled the pull on the fan for light.
I really wish I hadn’t.
Tabby lay on my pillow, his head severed from his body and dripping blood. Parts of his body were skinned, the fur hanging off in long bloody sheets. His paws were cut and stripped so that they were only hanging on by a long this strand of tendon, his tail was snapped in several places, with the bone sticking out through the skin at weird angles. The whole body was torn up, with random stab wounds and cuts. The head was missing an ear, and his tongue hung out limply from the open mouth. Tabby’s eyes were staring directly at me, as if accusing me. And in the middle of it all, sticking out at an odd angle from his ribs, was a butcher knife.
I fell to my knees, nausea building in my stomach. Tabby was my only ground to reality in this house, and seeing him so mutilated, it not only angered me, but finally made me snap.
Every single memory from every single rape came back and flooded my mind. Every time he touched me. Every time he hurt me. Every time that he hit me, it all came back in a rush. All the sickness, anger, depression, frustration, worthlessness, suicidal thoughts, homicidal thoughts, masochism, sadism, hurt , pain, hate, everything I had experienced, it all came back and settled itself in the pit of my stomach like a lead weight.
“The stupid cat brought it on itself. It was yowling at me to open the door and let it in. I couldn’t take that awful racket, so I made it so he couldn’t yowl anymore.
A shadow fell over me and I looked back behind me to see him standing there. He smiled down at me with his sick, twisted, drunken smile, and those evil, horrid, green eyes. “See/ I took it out so he couldn’t talk.”
He dropped a handful of bloody mush into my hand. It was the contents of Tabby’s throat, including his voice box.
My vision went red. I couldn’t see, couldn’t think, blind rage and hate coursed through my veins. I was dimly aware of pulling the knife out of Tabby’s mutilated body. He said something from behind me, I turned. He yelled. I thrust. He screamed. There was blood, lots of blood, leaking from his chest. A struggle, screams of pain, hatred. At some point I lost my mind. Then it was done.
---------------------------------------------
END OF THE SCARY STUFF.
---------------------------------------------
Leon looked shocked to see me at his door, so late at night, covered in blood, but he didn’t say anything, he only opened the door and let me in. I didn’t sit on any of the furniture, (I didn’t want to get blood on it) so I just stood in the center of the room.
He was quiet the whole time he spent getting out clothes for me, and he didn’t say anything to me after my shower. Something told me he was in shock, but my mind wasn’t functioning enough for me to understand that thought.
Finally he broke the silence by looking at me and saying, “You snapped.”
All I could do was nod. I felt sick, I felt ashamed, I felt worthless, but I also felt so damn good, because I was finally free.
Leon sighed and leaned back in his chair, starring at the ceiling. “Is he dead?”
“Yeah.”
From somewhere in the hall came the tick-tock-tick of Leon’s clock. The sound was comforting, and normal.
“You are hurt pretty badly..”
“Screw the small-talk Leon. I just killed my own step-father. Can you really call this murderer your friend?”
“If you hadn’t done it I would have Cloud. I don’t know what all he did to you, but from what I’ve seen..” he gestured toward my mid-section, “I’d say he almost killed you.”
“You really care that much?” I growled. “Why? I’m moody, I’m hard to get along with, I’m quiet and reclusive, m always depressed, what in the name of God do you see in me that drives you to protect me?!?” My voice had grown stronger toward the end, and had risen to the point where I was shouting.
Leon crawled over to sit next to me on the couch. He sat there, looking from me to thte ground worriedly. “Cloud I…” he glanced up at me then away again. “There is something I need to tell you…”
“What?” I growled.
“I’m in love with you.”
I swear my jaw dropped into my lap. “In love with me? You’re…please tell me you’re kidding!!”
Leon shook his head slowly and watched my eyes. “I’m not kidding Cloud, I love you, and it has torn me up to see you come to school every day looking a step closer to the grave. You don’t realize it, but you act a little more lost each day. I knew it was Sephiroth doing it to you, though I didn’t know what he was doing, and I hated him for it. I wanted to protect you.”
I didn’t know what to say. Part of me was repulsed by the fact that my best friend was in love with me, and part of me wanted me to love him back. Sephiroth had never loved me, and my mother had died when I was 6, leaving me with that monster, so whatever love she had shown me had been easily forgotten. To tell the truth, I was scarred of love, and scarred to love.
“Leon, I…”
“Shh…you don’t have to say anything Cloud….it’s ok…”
Those words. They were the words that I had wanted to hear so badly from someone, anyone. It’s ok. It’s ok to be frightened, it’s ok to hate, it’s ok to want to give up, it’s ok to leave, it’s ok to trust, it’s ok to love.
From somewhere I felt a wet drop hit my leg. I looked down and noticed that it was one of many forming there. And the water was coming from my cheeks, no, my eyes. I was crying. I never cried in front of people.
Leon just hugged me. He didn’t say anything about the crying, he didn’t hit me, he didn’t demand that I stop, he just held me. It felt safe, really safe, so I pushed against him, burrowing my head into his chest. I cried hard, loud and hard. Harder than I had ever cried in my life. I cried till I couldn’t cry anymore, then choked on my own spit. My tears had made a large wet spot on his shirt, but he didn’t care, he just pushed some of the hair out of my face gently as I clung to him, helpless as a child.
I looked up into his eyes. They were warm, not cold and distant like Sephiroth’s. They were safe. I could be anything in front of him, and those eyes would accept it.
Tentatively I reached up, not daring to explore this unidentifiable territory. I wasn’t sure if this was right, but I wanted to do it. I reached up till my face was in front of his, and I lightly pressed my lips to his in a gentle kiss. Not a lust-filled one like hose Sephiroth gave me, but a kind, loving one that conveyed my thanks, and my unspoken emotions.
And he kissed me back, pulling me tight against him in a warm embrace. The kiss was safe, and it didn’t hurt, and there was no danger. It was all so easy, so simple, and so intoxicatingly lovely.
I spent the rest of the night in his arms, not willing to leave his side.
Music: AFI-Rabbits are Road kill on Route 37 (Once again!)
Rating: M
Warnings: Yaoi, rape, alcohol, and a crap load of other stuff.
Author’s Note: This chapter contains a lot of violence to a helpless kitty. Also, lots of blood.
Oh and I guess I should add that Sephiroth dies, but who really cares what happens to him? I’m more worried about the cat.
Sephiroth: you are so mean!!Koji: so?
Cloud: Yay! Sephiroth dies!
Sephiroth: -runs in a corner and cries-
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Control is an Illusion
I didn’t go to school that next day. Instead, I wandered around town, carefully avoiding any streets where the cops might see me. I felt as if I were a criminal, and was skulking about away from my punishment. I’d done nothing wrong, at least, nothing that I knew of. But for some reason that thought didn’t comfort me.I felt confused and scared. My whole body was bruised up, and I was now aware of a dull ache in my movements. I had to have been hurt for some time with the condition I was in, but for the life of me I couldn’t remember why or how I got beat up. It was as if my memories had grown wings and flown out the window.
Mt resting place wasn’t very clean, just a dark alley, but it was dark, and quiet. I could think here.
I nodded off into that dream-like state you sometimes go into, you know, the feeling you get right before you go to sleep? It was relaxing, and it allowed me some time to think. Why I couldn’t remember was beyond me. And why Leon had tried to stop me from leaving baffled me. Leon knew I hated hospitals, yet there he was trying to make me go to one. Ever since my mom had died I’d been scared of them…
And he called the police on me Were my bruises really bad enough to call the police> Slowly I looked down and examined the bruises I could see. They were nasty, but as to how I had got them, or where I had gotten them I could only speculate. If I thought about it too hard it made my head hurt. It was as if some invisible force were blocking me from accessing my memories.
“Gahh!!” I cried, slumping down in defeat. “I’ll never figure it out! Damn what is wrong with me?” I ran a nervous hand through my hair, and upon finding that it calmed me down, repeated the action several times.
“I give up.” I mumbled. I plopped over so that my back was to the ground, and I was looking up into the sky. It was beautiful, a perfect blue without end, and without a cloud in the sky.
I snickered at the thought, not even the sky wanted me.
-----------------------------------
WARNING: COMING UP IS THE SCENE WHERE THERE IS A LOT OF BLOOD AND OTHER NASTY THINGS. THERE WILL BE A MUTILATED CAT, AS WELL AS SEPHIROTH’S DEATH. HURRAY FOR A DEAD SEPHIROTH, I’M SURE YOU ALL WANT HIM TO ROT IN HELL FOR WHAT HE DID TO CLOUD.
-----------------------------------
When I woke up it was dark. That light blue sky I had seen had by now turned purple-black, with little pricks of light here and there for stars. I was surprised no one had found me, but then again that made me happy, because right now I was free , and didn’t have to answer to anyone. I could do what I wanted.
I wanted to go home.
But as to where my home was I wasn’t sure. My house was not my home, I never really belonged there., yet the school wasn’t really home either. ‘Maybe my home is this alley.’ I thought wryly. ‘After all, it’s the first bit of peace I’ve had in months.’
The strangeness of that thought never struck me. I still could not recall anything that had happened to me in the last 24 hours, yet still I was dreading the trip to my house. Maybe it was because I knew inside what dad’s reaction would be.
So I made my journey to my house. The car was parked in front of the garage, so dad was definitely home. It must have been nearly midnight if the dark was any way to tell time. And something in my mind warned me to stay away.
I ignored it. Instead, I opened the door to the house. Dad was nowhere to be seen. ‘He’s probably passed out’ I thought.
I made my way over to my room, The light was off so I flipped the switch, but nothing happened.. I then remembered that I had turned the light off using the fan pull this morning, so if I wanted light I’d have to pull on that again.
That course of action was quickly dismissed. I didn’t care if I could see or not, all I knew was that, despite my nap in the alley, I was tired.
I plopped down on the bed and prepared to fall asleep when, quite suddenly, I felt something wet and sticky against my neck.
‘What the hell?’ I thought. I turned my head to see what it was, and felt my nose brush something furry.
“Tabby?” I inquired. The cat didn’t respond. Normally he meows when I call out his name. Worried, I got up and pulled the pull on the fan for light.
I really wish I hadn’t.
Tabby lay on my pillow, his head severed from his body and dripping blood. Parts of his body were skinned, the fur hanging off in long bloody sheets. His paws were cut and stripped so that they were only hanging on by a long this strand of tendon, his tail was snapped in several places, with the bone sticking out through the skin at weird angles. The whole body was torn up, with random stab wounds and cuts. The head was missing an ear, and his tongue hung out limply from the open mouth. Tabby’s eyes were staring directly at me, as if accusing me. And in the middle of it all, sticking out at an odd angle from his ribs, was a butcher knife.
I fell to my knees, nausea building in my stomach. Tabby was my only ground to reality in this house, and seeing him so mutilated, it not only angered me, but finally made me snap.
Every single memory from every single rape came back and flooded my mind. Every time he touched me. Every time he hurt me. Every time that he hit me, it all came back in a rush. All the sickness, anger, depression, frustration, worthlessness, suicidal thoughts, homicidal thoughts, masochism, sadism, hurt , pain, hate, everything I had experienced, it all came back and settled itself in the pit of my stomach like a lead weight.
“The stupid cat brought it on itself. It was yowling at me to open the door and let it in. I couldn’t take that awful racket, so I made it so he couldn’t yowl anymore.
A shadow fell over me and I looked back behind me to see him standing there. He smiled down at me with his sick, twisted, drunken smile, and those evil, horrid, green eyes. “See/ I took it out so he couldn’t talk.”
He dropped a handful of bloody mush into my hand. It was the contents of Tabby’s throat, including his voice box.
My vision went red. I couldn’t see, couldn’t think, blind rage and hate coursed through my veins. I was dimly aware of pulling the knife out of Tabby’s mutilated body. He said something from behind me, I turned. He yelled. I thrust. He screamed. There was blood, lots of blood, leaking from his chest. A struggle, screams of pain, hatred. At some point I lost my mind. Then it was done.
---------------------------------------------
END OF THE SCARY STUFF.
---------------------------------------------
Leon looked shocked to see me at his door, so late at night, covered in blood, but he didn’t say anything, he only opened the door and let me in. I didn’t sit on any of the furniture, (I didn’t want to get blood on it) so I just stood in the center of the room.
He was quiet the whole time he spent getting out clothes for me, and he didn’t say anything to me after my shower. Something told me he was in shock, but my mind wasn’t functioning enough for me to understand that thought.
Finally he broke the silence by looking at me and saying, “You snapped.”
All I could do was nod. I felt sick, I felt ashamed, I felt worthless, but I also felt so damn good, because I was finally free.
Leon sighed and leaned back in his chair, starring at the ceiling. “Is he dead?”
“Yeah.”
From somewhere in the hall came the tick-tock-tick of Leon’s clock. The sound was comforting, and normal.
“You are hurt pretty badly..”
“Screw the small-talk Leon. I just killed my own step-father. Can you really call this murderer your friend?”
“If you hadn’t done it I would have Cloud. I don’t know what all he did to you, but from what I’ve seen..” he gestured toward my mid-section, “I’d say he almost killed you.”
“You really care that much?” I growled. “Why? I’m moody, I’m hard to get along with, I’m quiet and reclusive, m always depressed, what in the name of God do you see in me that drives you to protect me?!?” My voice had grown stronger toward the end, and had risen to the point where I was shouting.
Leon crawled over to sit next to me on the couch. He sat there, looking from me to thte ground worriedly. “Cloud I…” he glanced up at me then away again. “There is something I need to tell you…”
“What?” I growled.
“I’m in love with you.”
I swear my jaw dropped into my lap. “In love with me? You’re…please tell me you’re kidding!!”
Leon shook his head slowly and watched my eyes. “I’m not kidding Cloud, I love you, and it has torn me up to see you come to school every day looking a step closer to the grave. You don’t realize it, but you act a little more lost each day. I knew it was Sephiroth doing it to you, though I didn’t know what he was doing, and I hated him for it. I wanted to protect you.”
I didn’t know what to say. Part of me was repulsed by the fact that my best friend was in love with me, and part of me wanted me to love him back. Sephiroth had never loved me, and my mother had died when I was 6, leaving me with that monster, so whatever love she had shown me had been easily forgotten. To tell the truth, I was scarred of love, and scarred to love.
“Leon, I…”
“Shh…you don’t have to say anything Cloud….it’s ok…”
Those words. They were the words that I had wanted to hear so badly from someone, anyone. It’s ok. It’s ok to be frightened, it’s ok to hate, it’s ok to want to give up, it’s ok to leave, it’s ok to trust, it’s ok to love.
From somewhere I felt a wet drop hit my leg. I looked down and noticed that it was one of many forming there. And the water was coming from my cheeks, no, my eyes. I was crying. I never cried in front of people.
Leon just hugged me. He didn’t say anything about the crying, he didn’t hit me, he didn’t demand that I stop, he just held me. It felt safe, really safe, so I pushed against him, burrowing my head into his chest. I cried hard, loud and hard. Harder than I had ever cried in my life. I cried till I couldn’t cry anymore, then choked on my own spit. My tears had made a large wet spot on his shirt, but he didn’t care, he just pushed some of the hair out of my face gently as I clung to him, helpless as a child.
I looked up into his eyes. They were warm, not cold and distant like Sephiroth’s. They were safe. I could be anything in front of him, and those eyes would accept it.
Tentatively I reached up, not daring to explore this unidentifiable territory. I wasn’t sure if this was right, but I wanted to do it. I reached up till my face was in front of his, and I lightly pressed my lips to his in a gentle kiss. Not a lust-filled one like hose Sephiroth gave me, but a kind, loving one that conveyed my thanks, and my unspoken emotions.
And he kissed me back, pulling me tight against him in a warm embrace. The kiss was safe, and it didn’t hurt, and there was no danger. It was all so easy, so simple, and so intoxicatingly lovely.
I spent the rest of the night in his arms, not willing to leave his side.