Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ Welcome to the wonderful world of puberty ❯ Doubts and regrets ( Chapter 5 )

  It had started to rain again. Heavy droplets were splashing against Sora's window, composing a soft, sleep inducing rhythm. One could say the perfect sound to relax to after an intimate session of guidance in the arts of making love. No matter how sinful the act.

Love crosses the boundaries of sexes...as they say...it is blind...

Resting with his back against the wall underneath the window, Riku shifted a little on his spot beside Sora's on the bed and pulled him closer to him. He more felt rather than heard the brunette sigh contently against his bare chest and hold him close as well. Faces now inches apart, they both smiled at each other, the satisfaction of their joining reflecting itself in the gentle caresses and tender touches.

"Sora..." the elder whispered, wanting to ask if the other boy knew what he was doing to him by touching him in the way he did right now. No matter how much he loved him and wanted to love him like there was no tomorrow, he had to admit to himself that getting laid twice in one day with such short intervals was kind of weary, even for him. And every one knew that when it came to stamina, he was the grand champion amongst all boys on the islands. It is said that sex is one of the most exhausting sports... well, now he could understand why people said that... strange though that he never got that exhausted when he did a girl. Maybe...maybe because I never did a girl twice...at least not in one day...and maybe because I love Sora so much and I've given him the best of me every time...

"Yes...?" Came the half moaned response of the brunette in front of him, sapphire depths focused on him.. How he loved those eyes. As clear as the summer's sky on midday and as beautiful as the shining stars at night, always telling what went on in the younger one's heart. And always emitting the innocence the brunette seemed to be drenched in from birth. Even though he had given his virginity away to him, Riku could still see the innocence in those eyes of his, telling him that even though the years would add themselves on him, his friend always would be pure and, to him, untainted. But right now, the brunette was doing little to show his 'innocence' as the elder teen suddenly had to bite back a moan.

"S-Sora!" He whispered as he realised that one hand of the of the younger one had disappeared underneath the sheets and paying some sensual attention to one certain area of his body that he had thought inactive a few seconds ago. I'm not up for another round just yet! How can he after what I did to him? I've created a monster!

Sora then sweetly smiled back, as if he was a child caught trying to steel a cookie from the cookie jar. "Yes, Riku?" He whispered again, scooting closer if possible and his eyes fixed on the elder's lips to catch their movement as he would speak. "Is there something wrong?" he then purred, dropping a soft kiss on the corner of the blonde's mouth. "Am I doing it wrong? Is this better?" And with that he let go of Riku's member and caressed his balls carefully, and eyes still focused on his lips. The silver haired boy's reaction made him grin childishly and giggle in pleasure.

"I...g-ga-ah! N-no..." He whimpered, throwing his head back and tightening the grip his hand had on the younger teen's hip. "B-but Sora-ah!"

"Yes, Riku? Do you want me to try that thing with my mouth again? I promise I'll do my best this time." Sora sweetly whispered, knowing damn well that Riku was a little tired, but wanting to pleasure him right this time. After all, practise made perfect, right? Giggling he squeezed his friend's balls tenderly so not to hurt him and waited for his signal. Any signal.

"Do you want to feel my mouth around you again, my lover? Come inside of my hot and wet sweet little hole?" He teased, grabbing the elder's obvious erection now.

"Oh fuck Sora... Since when do you...t-talk so dirty...?" Riku managed to whimper out, before bucking his hips to the sweet torture his best friend was making him endure.

"Don't you like it? Don't you like hearing me moan your name, pleading for you to go faster...harder and deeper?" he punctuated the last four words with strong jerks on the now throbbing member of his friend.

"Sora! Oh fuck!" He cried out, bucking his hips to the movements of the brunette's hand, the spot where his tip touched the sheets starting to get moist. Like it?! I love it when you plead, makes me want to plunge into your tight body until you scream for me to stop...

Sora throatily chuckled and ran his tongue over Riku's cheekbone, nipping his skin afterwards. "You want to come in my mouth? I promise I'll swallow every single drop, Riku my lover."

Letting out a loud moan, Riku just couldn't believe how seductive his innocent friend had just sounded and how good he was making him feel right now. But he wouldn't let the brunette be dominant over him, still, if he wanted to give him the pleasure so eagerly he wouldn't stop him. He wouldn't even be able to stop him now, not in the state he was in. "Get down there then. Show me what you can do, baby."

Grabbing a handful of Sora's hair, Riku guided him downwards and lay back on the bed as he felt soft lips caressing him before a teasing tongue flickered out to taste him.

"Take it deeply inside of your mouth, baby..."Let's see if you can have it a little rough... You asked for it...

Moaning at the sudden pressure on the back of his head, Sora barely had the time to open his mouth and engulfed the aroused length, working against the applied force on his head just in time to prevent him from choking. "R-Riku... I can't take it that deeply..." The brunette whispered, suddenly as shy as ever.

"I guess you'll have to practise on that then too, eh?" the elder whispered, stroking a little bit of saliva from his lover's lip with a finger before sucking on the digit as he moved it towards his mouth. So, roughness brings you back to your submissive self... good to know...

"Continue Sora... you were doing great. But this time I want you to suck it harder."

The brunette nodded and opened his mouth again to take him back in. Closing his eyes, he swirled his tongue around the erected flesh and applied soft suction each time he moved back up. He could feel Riku moving his hips to his movements and experimented on that to try and take him deeper in his throat without gagging or choking.

"Ooh...that's it, baby... oh yeah..." the blonde hissed, "Suck it faster..."

The younger one implied and started to bob his head, all the while keeping his suction on him and minding the little movements Riku made. He could sense that his friend was close as he felt his member throb. He moaned lustfully at that and, in a sudden moment of improvisation, he made his teeth graze slightly over the oversensitive tip of the head and got rewarded with a loud shout of his name and a wild bucking of hips. Pumping him with his hand while he kept licking his tip, Sora ran his other hand up the muscled body of his friend, hungrily moaning his name now and then.

"Sora...fuck...suck it...suck it hard, now! I'm coming!"

Doing as told, the brunette worked his best on him and soon he could feel something hit the back of his throat, something rather salty and bitter at the same time. With no hesitation he swallowed it, all the while milking Riku to the very last drop.

Oh fuck! That was the best blow job anyone has ever given me! I'm still coming!

And indeed, he felt like he was being milked empty by Sora until he finally collapsed back on the bed, heavily panting. Now he was truly worn out. Nothing, and really nothing would get him to move now.

Liking his lips in search for some remaining of Riku's juices, Sora hesitantly moved back up his friend's body, laying himself next to him.

"H-how did I do?"

Riku chuckled and threw an arm around the brunette chuckling tiredly and pulling him closer. "Do you still need to ask?" he smiled at him. Sora softly smiled back, blushing slightly.

"I knew you learned pretty fast, but this was really awesome. It was the best head anyone has ever given me. Thank you, Sora."

The brunette's smile widened itself and he nervously chuckled, "Really?"

"I assure you."

"Gee, Riku..."

"But do tell me one thing..."

"Yes, Riku?"

"Stop talking like that... you're making me..."

"Like what, Riku? What did I do?"

"That! You have no idea what kind of weapon you've got there... you're just so adorable at times... almost too adorable..."

"You think I'm cute?

"Of course you are... You're...you're the most adorable, sexiest creature to me on this planet, Sora. You know how I feel for you..."

Sora looked down apologetically and bit his bottom lip, "I'm sorry, Riku."

The blonde shook his head, he knew that he shouldn't have got said that but Sora needed to know how he felt. The last thing he wanted was for his lover to feel pressured in choosing between him or another girl. He wanted Sora to make his own choice, to follow his heart and be sure to make the right decision, whatever that was for him.

"Don't be...I love you, Sora and I don't think that will ever change, no matter what you decide. I'll always be there for you, we're friends and that is what we'll stay if that's what you wish us to be."

Sora sighed; he was caught in between two fires. He knew he wanted to see what his relationship with Riku could evolve itself into, but he also wanted to know if he had a chance with Kairi or any other girl. But most of all with Kairi. Did she like him back? Could they share something together?

But during the course of the day, there had been one thought that had had him thinking a lot. Was it even normal to like another guy? And wouldn't it be more likely to go out with Kairi instead of Riku? What would people think of him? Of both of them? He knew he liked Riku. A lot, but to go so far and say that it was love... he just couldn't... and he wouldn't... I need to talk to Kairi first... this just doesn't feel right anymore. I can't keep him on hold like this...

He sat himself up and moved himself to straddle the blonde. "Riku."

"Yes, Sora?"

"You know that we'll never be just friends anymore. That's practically impossible and you know that too."

"We could pretend... that it never..."

"Happened? Are you serious?"

"Sora...if in the future you were to decide that you don't want to see me as your lover or anything more, then I do believe that it would be best to pretend it all never happened, right?" Riku chuckled as he saw a minim pout form itself on the brunette's lips. He reached a hand out to him and cupped his left cheek while caressing his lips with his thumb. Even though it was hard for him to say this, he still forced himself to speak. "I'd understand perfectly." It would hurt, but I would understand... if it were to make you happy...I'd understand... God, how I love you Sora...

"Oh, Riku! I'm so torn!" The little brunette threw himself on him, feeling like he needed to release the frustration that was taking over in his mind. "I don't want to hurt you! You mean so much to me; you've shown me so much. I could never live with the idea of forgetting about what you taught me. But at the other hand, I feel like I'm also attracted to Kairi. And I'm wondering... I like you, Riku and I like Kairi. You two are my best of friends. I'm caught in between two huge fires. And..." his voice trailed off and he sighed, trying to hold the tears back that were threatening to roll down his cheeks."…and I don't want to lose either one of you…"

Despite his efforts, Sora was crying now and Riku could feel the hot tears falling on his chest. It broke his heart to see his friend like this and to think that he was part to blame...

"Don't cry, Sora... please don't..." he tried to comfort him, running a hand over the shaking shoulders of his little tanned body, "I know...I know that you'll make the right decision... I trust you on that."

"I...I don't want to choose..." he whimpered and sobbed harder.

"Now you're just being a baby, Sora..." he soothingly whispered, earning another heartbreaking sob from the brunette.

"Will I ever get out of this...without loosing either one of you..."

"That's up to you, but know that you'll never loose me..."

"Right..." He smiled at him, sat up and climbed off of him and the bed, walking towards his clothes that were still lying on the floor in front of the still opened door. Riku just watched him doing this and almost wished he didn't feel the way he did towards him...just to ease the pain his friend was feeling... But he couldn't deny what his heart was telling him...

"It's raining again, so what do you say I make you dinner?" Sora's cheerful voice suddenly pierced through the dark clouds that were enveloping his mind. He looked up at him again and was surprised to see Sora fully clothed and standing by the door.

"Huh?"

"I said that I'm going to make dinner for us. It's raining too hard to send you home."

"Oh, sure. Thanks Sora. Need some help?"

The brunette shook his head and shrugged, "I only have to warm it up in the microwave."

"Oh okay." Riku smiled at him and couldn't believe how fast his friend could put on a mask to hide his sorrow. "Sora."

The brunette turned himself around to look at him again, "Yes, Riku?" he whispered in that cute voice again and chuckled.

The elder slightly chuckled back but quickly changed his expression into a more serious one, "Don't suppress it. It won't do you any good."

A watery smile appeared on his face, "Could we...not talk about this right now? I would like to think about it all later, okay?"

Riku could hear the tears behind those spoken words and nodded his head, watching as his friend quickly turned around to descent the stairs.

"So if we paint the upper half of the walls in a beige colour and the under half in a soft bordeaux it will make the colours of the couch and the colours of the other furniture come out more. Making the room a very comfortable one to sit and relax in. I must say that your wooden floor is a little jewel. Have you always had it?"

Cloud had arrived half an hour ago and shown them the drawings of other interiors. They all had decided that a warmer colour for the walls would be more exciting instead of the dull white one. Riku had smiled in silent satisfaction as he had seen Sora participate vividly in the discussion about whether rearranging the furniture or not, he seemed to have more interest in the whole idea. Riku suspected that it was his way to hide what had been spoken of earlier, but it looked like he was having his fun.

"Ever since we moved in here, yeah. It has always been a part of this house, I guess." Sora responded and smiled towards Riku. "This is going to be so awesome!"

Cloud nodded, "It will. You have a very elegant sitting room, it only needs a little bit of paint and a couch. Which brings me to another thing..."

Riku raised an eyebrow at that, he knew what was going to be the next question, Kairi had asked him about it too and he had told her that it had been Sora's idea to take another couch to replace the other for it had been old.

"Kairi told me something about an old couch, but was it that old that you already threw it out without buying another? What really happened to it?"

"That..." Sora began, casting sideway glances to his friend, "N-none of your business..." he said trying to sound confident. Riku just kept looking at Kari's brother with a calm expression and did not speak. I'm wondering if the rumours I've heard about him are true...

"Really now?"

"What do you think happened?" Riku calmly said, raising softly smirking.

Raising an eyebrow in response, Cloud smirked too. Sora suddenly excused himself and went into the kitchen. Cloud followed him with his eyes until he was out of sight and then shifted his eyes back on Riku. "I always thought you liked the opposite sex, Riku?"

"I thought the same of you, until I heard the rumours of you and the mayor's daughter."

"Aeris? What did they say?"

"They said you ditched her for her brother... what's his name again...?"

Cloud merely chuckled and raised his shoulders, "Those crazy rumours..."

"You're denying them?"

"Of course. I never had something with Aeris."

"Is that so?"

"We talked a lot, but it never clicked between us."

Riku raised his eyebrows again, "But I imagined it clicked with someone else?"

"Riku... it's not going to be easy for the both of you if you come forth with this, people will have problems with accepting it."

"There's nothing between Sora and me."

"But I can see in your eyes that you would like it to be more than that, right? Did you two have sex already?"

Riku silently nodded and looked into the other blonde's cerulean eyes. "But he's not sure about all of it and... and it's causing him a lot of pain..."

"Ah. Kairi, right?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry for the both of you. I'm sure it will all work out. He'll make the right decision."

"Yeah..."

"Heads up. At least you've shared something with him that my sister hasn't. You could say that for the moment you're leading the course."

"I know that should be comforting me, but strangely it doesn't."

Cloud sighed, "Sora is a boy who follows his heart at all times, I've seen it so many times when you three used to come over and play with each other. I know you feel extremely guilty for having imposed him such a cruel choice, but know that when he'll make his decision clear, you'll be sure that he's acted like his heart told him to. And that, Riku, is important. One can't deny his heart."

Riku nodded and softly smiled. "Thanks, Cloud."

"You're welcome, Riku."

A soft beeping sound was heard in the room.

"Excuse me." Cloud grabbed his portable from his belt and opened it. "Hello? Oh, it's you... yes... sure... at Sora's place. No, you can come...we'll just go with your car, I can leave mine here... yeah, alright... I missed you too... me too... yeah, okay." He closed the device and found a smirking Riku looking at him. "Yes, it was Leon."

"I didn't say anything."

"You didn't have to."

That's when Sora came back in the room, face a little flushed. "You guys done talking?"

"There was really no need to hide, Sora. You can be sure that your secret is safe with me." Cloud winked at him and walked over to the kitchen to retrieve his drawings. "So tomorrow we'll go buy the paint and start painting. Be sure to wake up early so we can get an early start, ok?"

Sora looked at Riku and frowned, what did he tell him about us? Did he tell him about what we did?! Riku, did you?

The door bell ringed.

"That's Leon. I got to go, boys. We'll see each other tomorrow; I'll bring Kairi along to help."

The blonde walked to the door and opened it to reveal a tall brunette with stunning grey eyes and a long scar that ran across his face. At first view it seemed like he was the stern type, but once he saw Cloud, he produced one of the most gorgeous smiles a man could make. Sora could tell that he didn't do that often and guessed that the rumours he had heard about Kairi's brother were true. He was a homosexual.

"You got here fast." Cloud whispered after they had kissed each other on the lips.

"One month without the person you love can have that effect on you." The other whispered back, running a hand through his lover's blonde strands. "Shall we go?"

"Yeah. Bye Sora, Riku. And Riku remember what I told you, ok?"

"Yeah, I will." Riku responded, slightly waving.

Sora just looked at his friend again after the door had closed itself. "You didn't tell Cloud about us, did you Riku?" he asked, disappointment apparent in his voice.

The blonde slightly frowned, "Is that a problem to you?"

"As a matter of fact it is!" the younger teen loudly said.

"Sora, calm down. Why does it bother you? I just needed some advice."

"From a homosexual, so that means that you were asking him about what we did. And about homosexual things, right?"

"Sora, what...?"

"No! I'm not...I don't..."

"Sora, why are you so upset about this?" He grabbed his friend's shoulders and shook him slightly.

"Don't touch me!" the brunette screamed and wrenched himself away from him, "You shouldn't have got told him, Riku! You shouldn't..." he whispered shaking his head and backing away from him. "It was supposed to stay between us. I trusted you! Why didn't you ask me first?"

Riku shook his head in disbelieve at the words his friend just spoke out, "Sora... are you ashamed of what we did?"

Tears were now falling the long his cheeks again and he turned his face to the side. "I'm not ready to tell the world Riku. Why did you do it?"

"But I didn't tell the world, Sora! I just needed some advice and he was the only person who could understand what we were going through... I just thought..." He fell silent as he saw Sora shake his head violently.

"No! What we did...no-no matter how good it felt was sinful! I don't want to be seen as a homosexual, because I'm not one!" he yelled out without thinking and immediately knew that he had made a terrible mistake. He put a trembling hand against his mouth as he saw one lonely tear travel the long his friend's right cheek. "Oh my god...Ri..."

"Is that what you truly feel?" The blonde shakily whispered, eyes as hard as stone and lips trembling slightly. "Is this what your heart is telling you? Even though I have confessed my feelings for you?"

Opening and closing his mouth without being able to produce a single sound, tears continuously flowing on his cheeks, Sora helplessly watched as Riku stepped up to him.

"Why don't you just rip my heart from chest then, because it will serve me to no good anymore." He harshly whispered even though his own tears were now flowing freely. "I gave myself to you. Entirely. Now I know it was of no use. Why did you lead me on like that? Why did you make me believe that we had something special? You say you trusted me and I let you down? Look at yourself. You're cruel, Sora. And I was too blind to realise it in time."

"Riku...n-no!" The brunette finally choked out as he saw his friend turn around and put a hand on the doorknob. "D-don't go! Don't go..." he fell on his knees and sobbed, "I'm sorry! Please!"

"Give me one good reason why, Sora."

"I'm...I'm afraid..." he whimpered, his shoulders shaking from his sobs, "Don't go... I need you..."

"Life is full of insecurities, Sora. If you're afraid of everything that means change or something out of the common to you, you might as well die right now and skip the rest. You do not want me to stay, Sora. If you truly wanted it, you'd accept the change and take the risk. Goodnight."

"Riku!"

As the door slammed shut, he could have got sworn that he heard something break inside of him.

You said you wouldn't leave me...

Why did you go...?.Why does it hurt beyond words...?

He slumped down on the floor and laid there crying his eyes out for hours until he dozed off, exhausted from all the tears he had shed.

To be continued... -Blackdiamond Princess-