Kyou Kara Maou Fan Fiction ❯ Kyou Kara Maou Very Secret Live Journals! ❯ Wolfram ( Chapter 2 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Kyou Kara Maou, Tomo Takabayashi does.

Summary: Livejournals which expose Kyou Kara Maou characters' deepest secrets, personalities, and desires. WARNING: mad rantings, jealous ravings, and numerous stalkings. Guaranteed to have you laughing your socks off. BEWARE!

Title: Kyou Kara Maou Very Secret Livejournals

Wolfram

Post 1: Had secret Hot Boys Club meeting today. True, no other members besides me so far, but really, who ELSE can match up to my GORGEOUS shining, flaxen hair and STUNNING shimmering emerald eyes? Not to mention have cute butt like granite. As president of club, made rule that all non-Hot Boys should be ridiculed, gossiped over, and spread evil rumors about. Privately, of course. Do not want secret Hot Boys Club being discovered by people of lesser beauty. Would be a tragic, horrible fate, as it would no longer be Hot Boys Club. Would be…:gasp: Hideously Ugly Boys Club! Am most alarmed at thought. Will go off and read fan mail from admirers around kingdom to lift spirits.

Current Mood: Disturbed

Comments: Dear Wolfram,

You are so hot you make the sun sweat. You are so beautiful, I need sunglasses to look at you so I will not be blinded by your brilliance! You are the Adonis of the Demon Kingdom. You are totally fabulous and the greatest thing since sliced bread. I hope you stay hot forever!

Love,

Your adoring number one fan,

-Schnickledooger

P.S. Will you marry me?

Reply: Dear Schnickledooger,

Thanks for the groveling and fanatic worshiping, but no, you can't marry me. I am saving myself for my destined one. Besides, I get the feeling you are not hot, and I, who, as you said, am the Adonis of Hotness cannot be caught dead with someone of a lesser stature. So no. Come back after plastic surgery and we'll see then.

-Wolfram

Comments: Dear Wolfram,

Because I adore and obsess over you, I forgive your egotistical, insensitive remarks. I should warn you, though. I am the author and if you annoy me enough, I will enact my infinite power over you. I can make you hit yourself.

Love,

-Schnickledooger

Reply: Dear Schnickledooger,

My face hurts. I just hit myself. I hope you're happy. YOU HAVE INDIRECTLY MARRED THE ADONIS OF HOTNESS!

-Wolfram

Post 2:Am pouting. Day has not gone as planned. Was all set out for trip to town for daily massage and pedicure. Thought perhaps, I'd even look for some Hideously Ugly Boys Club members and taunt them as my job for being a Hot Boys Club member. No such luck. Had barely set foot outside palace when Demon King shows up after eighteen years of waiting. Has wild unruly locks of raven black hair and crystal onyx eyes. Very KAWAII! Am slightly fearful that I may no longer be the Demon Kingdom's number one Hot Boy. Must check blog.

Current Mood: Anxious

Comments: none.

Reply: It is as I feared. Demon King WAY Hotter Hot Boy than me. Not good. Must induct plan swiftly to salvage status.

-Wolfram

Comments: Wolfram-sama! I STILL THINK YOU'RE THE BIGGEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH!

-Schnickledooger

Reply: You do not count. I do not have time for people who attempt to blackmail and abuse me. If you continue to waste pointless space on my blog, I will have no choice but to block you!

-Wolfram

Post 3: Had first dinner with new Demon King. Brilliant, super-genius mind thought out sly, conniving plan to hoist my Hot Boy status back up to where it was before Demon King stole it. Insulted Demon King's mother. Was bitch-slapped across right cheek by Demon King's temper tantrum. Now engaged, thus making my Hot Boy status equal with his. Furthermore, made Demon King pick up knife. Having duel tomorrow, so can kick rival Hot Boy's butt and show everyone who is the hottest. LOL! AND THEY SAY BLONDE'S ARE DUMB! HA! XD!

Current Mood: Vindictive and Eager

Comments: So you feel nothing other than dislike for His Highness, Wolfy-Darling?

-Celi(aka Superior Majesty, aka Ex-Demon Queen)

Reply: Of course, Mother! One can not be attracted to the competition and I do not care how cute he is!

-Wolfram

Comments: That's good then, because he's on Gunter's blog right now expressing his affections.

-Celi(aka Superior Majesty, aka Ex-Demon Queen)

Reply: WHAAAAAT? THAT TWO-TIMING, CHEATING FIANCE! HE THINKS HE CAN BE UNFAITHFUL? NO ONE DUMPS THE ADONIS OF HOTNESS! HE'S GOING TO BE ROASTED AND USED FOR S'MORES AT TOMORROW'S MATCH!

-Wolfram

Post 4: Went to duel all swaggering and confident. Knew Demon King had never swung a sword, much less held one in all his life. Quite a wimp if you ask me. Was quite eager to trounce him in battle and resume number one Hot Boy spot in kingdom. Was slightly unnerved when wimp started shedding clothes. Bare chest inspired more determination to win as Demon King proved he was even hotter. Wimp made up fake sport called "sumo wrestling" so he could beat me easily. Fell hard on my cute granite butt. Became enraged (more so than already was). Tried to make good on my vow of roasting and using him for s'mores with my fire element skills. Would have worked too if ditzy fangirl hadn't crept so close up to the match to watch. Accidentally toasted her instead. Wimp's turn to grow enraged. Accused me of being a "selfish barbarian coward". Would have laughed at feeble attempt at insult if hadn't been slightly wary of bright sky changing to dark clouds and raining. Began to suspect I was in a bit of trouble. Wimp transformed into Ultimate Demon King Mode With Fetish For Justice. Nearly got strangled by his water dragon elements. Had to make a big production out the whole accident, didn't he? How overly dramatic! Anyway, Wimp won match. He is still number one Hot Boy in Demon Kingdom. Am still his fiance though, so plan still working with only minor mishap.

Current Mood: Disgruntled and scheming

Comments: You could be a little sympathetic and sorry towards the girl, you know! And what's with all this Hot Boy speeches? You got some secret society or club going on or what?

-Yuuri(aka Demon King, akak Urine, aka The Wimp)

Reply: The Adonis of Hotness NEVER apologizes! As for the girl, I hope she is that insane author, Schnickledooger. AH! HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE SECRET HOT BOYS CLUB? WHO TOLD YOU? WAS IT GUNTER? HE'S ALWAYS TRYING TO MAKE ME SLIP UP AND TELL HIM ABOUT IT! HE WANTS TO JOIN IT BUT HE CAN'T AND NEITHER CAN YOU! THERE IS NO SECRET HOT BOYS CLUB! WHAT KIND OF CRAZY IMAGINATION DO YOU HAVE?

-Wolfram

P.S. Even if there was, I'd still be President! It doesn't matter if you ARE the number one Hot Boy in the Demon Kingdom! It is MY CLUB…WHICH DOESN'T EXIST!

Post 5: Snuck out of castle with Wimpto chase after Big Brother Gwendal and Lord Weller who thought it best for us "children" to stay out of harm's way which humans are causing. Off on mission to rebel and show my fans not only HOT but am WICKED AWESOME with sword. Was made to look like fool and nancy boy in past unfortunate duel. Persuaded Wimp he could not ride a horse, so got to sit behind me. Did act to prove to people Demon King not as strong as believed. Also, did act because like wild butterfly feeling in stomach when his arms around waist. Was going to lie that had gotten lost and wander around till night where would casually suggest we "sleep close together for warmth". Plan thwarted by Adalbert-coughtheBabooncough-appearing and casting spell so could not use Fire Lion of Almighty Power element. Instead, had to listen to the Baboon taunt me about being "Goldilocks". GUNTER'S MOUTH HAS OPENED ONE TIME TOO MANY! Suspects the Baboon may be president of Hideously Ugly Boys Club. Also suspects that he suspects I may be president of Secret Hot Boys Club. No matter how intense torture is, must not reveal Secret Hot Boys Club. Must NOT reveal Secret Hot Boys Club. MUST NOT REVEAL SECRET HOT BOYS CLUB!

Current Mood: ANXIOOOOOUS

Comments: I always knew blondes were dumb, but I had no idea there were delusional as well.

-Adalbert

Reply: DON'T PRETEND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! I'M ON TO YOUR LITTLE GIG!

-Wolfram

Comments: Just a random question off topic about…uh…whatever you two are talking about…but, what was that about getting lost in the woods earlier? Is that some other ancient and funky custom you people have? What's the true purpose behind that? Is that where you ditch your adversaries and leave them to die? Or is where little pink pixies with flower hats come out to play and dance in a circle lulling their victim into a false sense of security before turning into viscous man-eating beasts? OMG! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOLF! THERE'S NO NEED TO BE SO MAD AT ME WINNING THE MATCH THAT YOU TRY AND KILL ME OFF!

-Yuuri(aka Demon King, aka Urine, aka Wimp)

Comments: Feh. Idiot. Did you not catch the "sleep close together for warmth" part? You two make a great couple: Twiddledee and Twiddledumb.

-Adalbert

Reply: YUURI, HOW CAN YOU PUBICLY SHAME OUR LOVE WITH YOUR UNJUST ACCUSATIONS LIKE THIS? YOU UNTRUSTING, FAITHLESS WIMP!

-Wolfram

Post 6: Am seriously ticked off. Little rendezvous with Wimp not going as planned. First Adalbert shows up and nearly uncovers Secret Hot Boys Club. Then have to desert Yuuri to get help, leaving him vulnerable to other people's advances like Lord Weller. They were hugging when I returned to the scene. HUGGING! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? Shudders to think of they would be doing if had arrived ten minutes later. If wasn't bad enough, Yuuri almost abducted by rioting human. Was thrown off horse and landed in Big Brother Gwendal's arms. Was most uncomfortable as they stared into each other's eyes for like eternity. Had no idea Wimp such a flamboyant flirt. Going to have to teach him who he belongs to.

Current Mood: JEALOUS!

Comments: YAH! GWENNIE! WHAT WERE YOU DOING WITH HIS MAJESTY? NO! YOUR MAJESTY, WHAT WERE YOU DOING WITH GWENNIE? NO! I MEAN-WHO AM I UPSET WITH? I'M SO CONFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSED!

-Gunter

Comments: Conrad and I were just hugging! That's all! You know-LIKE BROTHERS! Who I belong to? What are you saying? WILL SOMEONE PLEASE WAKE ME UP FROM THIS NIGHTMARE?

-Yuuri(aka Demon King, aka Urine, aka Wimp)

Reply: I'LL DEAL WITH YOU LATER, YOU DOUBLE-CROSSING TRAITOR! Right now, I have to ride into town and make sure Secret Hot Boys Club not discovered. IF THERE WAS ONE THAT IS!

-Wolfram

Post 7: Relieved to learn no one knows of Secret Hot Boys Club. Returned to castle just in time to tail Lord Weller and Wimp onto ship. Was going to flambe both because thought they were eloping. No, only on voyage to find legendary Demon Sword. Heh, O.K. Can relax enough to become violently sick now.

Current Mood: DYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYING

Comments: Wow, Wolf, your face is as green as your eyes!

-Yuuri(aka Demon King, aka Urine, aka Wimp)

Reply: I knew:croak:that:moan:you cared!

-Wolfram

Comments: YOU'RE CUTE EVEN WHEN YOU'RE THROWING UP, WOLFRAM-SAMA!

-Schnickledooger

Reply: Of course, I:heave:am! I'm the:retch:president of the Secret Hot Boys Club:heave:remember? NOW GET OFF MY BLOG, EVIL AUTHORESS:hurl:

-Wolfram

Post 8: Recent spell of sickness has past. Am feeling most vigorous. Made sure uniform spanking fresh, hair swoon-worthy in lustrous locks, strawberry cologne thoroughly soaked into skin of neck, and peach lip-gloss shimmering in temptation on luscious lips. Once gloriously perfected, went off to search for Wimp to induce nice long session of snogging. Found him in ballroom of ship dancing with a woman. THAT LITTLE FLIRT IS SO DEAD WHEN I GET HIM ALONE!

Current Mood: VENGEFUL

Comments: The girl couldn't have been more than eight! What is your problem? You're going to give me a heart attack the way you pop out of nowhere like that! TAKE A TRANQUILIZER!

-Yuuri(aka Demon King, aka Urine, aka Wimp)

Reply: WHAT DOES THAT KNEE-HIGH TODDLER HAVE THAT I DON'T? Pink outfit? Well, I can get one of those easily back at home. YOU WANT PINK, YOU CHEATER? I'LL GIVE YOU PINK! I saw this really eye-catching nightgown in the front window of a store…

Post 9: Captured by pirates. Was made to hide in closet with Wimp by Lord Weller. Wimp gave us away by bumping into box. Clumsy oaf. Then he made situation even worse by pretending to be Zomosogoli Dragon. Said he was trying for a cat. Pathetic idiot doesn't even know how to make the right animal sound. Only good thing about being stuck in closet was got into conversation with Wimp about each other's Hotness. Reluctantly told him he was number one Hot Boy in kingdom. Wimp protested profusely, saying that I was a "bazillion times Hotter" than him. Was glad closet so dark, because face was on fire with pleasure. Am considering in letting him join Secret Hot Boys Club. As Vice-President of course.

Anyway, captured by pirates who am sure are members of Hideously Ugly Boys Club. Brought onto deck where Wimp transformed into his usual Ultimate Demon King Mode With Fetish For Justice to defend pint-sized woman he was cheating with. Good news: Hideously Ugly Boys Club members now in custody of Cimaron law officials, rotting in jail where they belong. Bad news: so are we. However, I did not mind very much as got to hold Wimp's head in lap and run hands through thick, fine hair. Mood destroyed when Yozak showed up to rescue us. Found out Wimp not only cheated on me with pink midget, but him too. TWICE! Will kill unfaithful finace now. Toodles.

Current Mood: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGRY!

Comments: Will you stop with the "you cheater!" bit! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! THE GIRL WAS EIGHT AND YOZAK'S A GUY!

-Yuuri(aka Demon King, aka Urine, aka Wimp)

Comments: Oh but sweetcheeks, how could you forget our wonderful time in the ballroom, not to mention the bath! It will stay branded into my memory forever! Teehee!

-Yozak

Reply: YUURI, HOW DARE YOU BETRAY OUR LOVE LIKE THIS? AND TO THINK I WAS GOING TO LET YOU BE VICE-PRESIDENT IN MY SECRET HOT BOYS CLUB…WHICH AS YOU RECALL, IS NOT REAL!

Post 10: Am worried Hotness slipping. Rowed oar in boat until thought arms would pop off. Walked and walked and walked up hill on island until reached some inn. Wimp went off with Yozak and Weller to get said Demon Sword in cursed lake. Too tired to worry over finace in company of available men. Decide will burn all to crisp if discover any cheating.

Current Mood: Exhausted

Comments: WOLFY, YOU'RE HOT EVEN WHEN YOU'RE DROOLING ON YOUR PILLOW! X3!

-Schnickledooger

Reply: All right, that's it. I'm officially blocking you off my blog. I do not like being stalked, especially by someone I have no idea who they are.

-Wolfram

Comments: I already told you, KAWAII-Wolfy, I am the almighty author! I know everything about you and you can do nothing to halt my mad fangirl fiascoes! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

-Schnickledooger

Reply: If you're so almighty, why don't you post a profile about yourself so people can tell who they're dealing with? CHICKEN!

-Wolfram

Comments: I HAVE posted a profile! It is on Fanfiction, Mediaminer, and my website. You just can not view it because I have not allowed you access. BECAUSE I AM THE AUTHOR AND YOU ARE NOT! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

-Schnickledooger

Post 11: Wrote memo to self to get lawyer to deal with freaky fanatic fangirl claiming to be author when back in Demon Kingdom. Wimp returned from cursed lake without Demon Sword. Laid on pink bedspread muttering feverishly about his "poor little pinky" and "its face". Wimp must really like color pink. Am more determined to get nightgown in store now. Read Wimp bedtime story about Demon Sword's abilities in using human souls as fuel for power. Then argued with him about engagement. Wimp had forgotten all about it and asked to break off. Furious, so locked self in closet to have good sulk.

Current Mood: Pouting

Comments: Come on, Wolf, its not like the engagement was real or anything, right?

-Yuuri(aka Demon King, aka Urine, aka Wimp).

Reply: NO ONE DUMPS THE ADONIS OF HOTNESS! NO ONE!

-Wolfram

Post 12: Back at Covenant Castle finally. Wimp got his courage in gear and retrieved Demon Sword. Then attempted to get powers to work. Went to Van Da Via Hospital hoping for people to kick the bucket. No such luck. People-who are part of Hideously Ugly Boys Club, am sure-recovered at astonishing rate. Am most perplexed. Entered Wimp in tournament where Demon Sword had field day with old man's soul. Had to wear one of Hideously Ugly Boys Club members outfit to escape to Mother's cruise ship. Had to endure Mother hitting on Wimp. Had to endure Wimp and Lord Weller having romantic moonlit stroll down the beach. Suspecting fates of life may be against me. Snuck into Wimp's bed while he was sleeping to emphasize engagement. Wimp did not appreciate act. Wimp summoned to own world without so much as an "I love you, dear finace. Please be patient upon my return." Selfish Wimp!

Current Mood: Irritated

Comments: O.K., I can handle the whole "you cheater" gig and the possessiveness even, but Wolfram…STAY. THE. HECK. OUT. OF. MY. BED!

-Yuuri(aka Demon King, aka Urine, aka Wimp)

Reply: There's no need to be so shy. It's natural to be nervous. Don't worry. We'll discover each other's likes and dislikes over time.

-Wolfram

Comments: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

-Yuuri(aka Demon King, aka Urine, aka Wimp)

Post 13: Had to fetch Wimp out of Tomb of Great One. Wimp openly flirting with about fifty shrine maidens. Gave Wimp full lecture how not to abuse his Hot Bot status and how he was engaged so was not available. Met Ulrike. Found out she and Great One have little shin-dig on summons where Wimp keeps disappearing. Thumbelina repeatedly hitting on fiance. Had to drag out of shrine by ear. Decided only way to catch Wimp's attention is to advertise things he likes. Went into town and bought pink nightgown. Crept into bed before him and did dramatic, fragile pose. Think I finally caught Wimp's attention.

Current Mood: ECSTATIC

Comments: DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND "STAY THE HECK OUT OF BED!"? I NEVER WANT TO SEE THAT NIGHTGOWN AGAIN!

-Yuuri(aka Demon King, aka Urine, aka Wimp)

Reply:Yuuri, I had no idea you were so bold to suggest that:shocked:Really, we're not even married!

-Wolfram

Comments: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

-Yuuri(aka Demon King, aka Urine, aka Wimp)

A/N: LOL, hope you enjoyed this! Can you tell Wolfram is my favorite? Next up is Gwendal! If anyone wants to fangirl him like me with Wolfy, leave message for him in review and I will put it in his blog next chapter! Please review and tell me fav parts!