Macross Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction / Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ The Legend of Macross (which has nothing to do with Macross, really) ❯ Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13: CHIBI TRUNKS, MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE

Chibi Trunks rubbed his hands together and laughed with glee. (Laughing with glee seems to be a fad these days)

Wouldn't you laugh with glee if you were secretly the ruler of the universe? Apparently, everybody had just been going on with their lives and not knowing that a pale haired monstrosity was ruling the very earth, the very stars, the very everything that was around?

And they'd been watching shows and reading comics about bad dudes that all had the exact same goal in mind, and that was to take over the world? (Usually that statement was followed by a brief outburst of maniacal laughter) and all Chibi Trunks had to do was…well, be created.

Um. That's to complicated a subject, so, we'll move on with the story.

(y'see, inside every mommy there's a bunch of Olympic swimming tadpoles…)

The very edge of the very beginning of the universe teetering on the very brink of madness was an old fishing tackle shop for Sayajins everywhere. Sayajins didn't usually go fishing, and the place was quickly transformed into one of those hideouts that evil children hang out in. Y'know, like that place in Ace Ventura Pet Detective? Something about that balding old guy and white clam chowder?

So the first thing Chibi Trunks had to do was make up a password for his hideout. In case you ever go there that information can never be revealed…aw, what the hell: C-A-N-C-E-R K-A-Z-O-O-S.

(Was that the blue or the red cancer kazoos? ^_~)

His parents were oblivious towards their son being the ruler of the Universe and any ways, that was to complicated a subject to explain HOW he has three fathers running around in the midst of something very confusing.

"But I'm a Smart Kid!"

<Yes I'm sure you are>

So…he liked to read the encyclopaedia for fun and capture lone ship passengers, sometimes the Captains for variety.

It was unfortunate that he had the entire Ginyu force aboard his shuttle, a SWATT team, and 568 bottles of gin…

"Unhand me! I'm a Dark Kingdom general! I HAVE HIGH FRIENDS IN HIGH PLACES!"

C.Trunks looked up from his desk to see his latest `playmate'

He frowned in disgust. "Neflight? You search far and wide and…you find NEFLIGHT!?"

The guards shrank back, terrified.

"Well, no matter." He waved them away with his hands.

Guard #1 "He shouldn't be able to talk like that…

Guard #2 "Like what?

Guard #1 "Like he's four thousand years old or something…I don't like his big words. They intimidate me, like, `Incompetent Fool! And `Preposterous!' and sometimes that really big one that-

Guard #2 "Larry, just shut up, okay?

Guard #1 "You didn't just use a big word, did you?

Guard #2 (doom)

Neflight stood and straightened the itchy grey wool of his uniform. He growled in C.Trunks direction and crossed his arms. "So what the hell am I doing here?"

C.Trunks smiled, folded his hands and just kept on smiling. "Did you know that in 1658 there was a War between the clan of two Ceilongs?"

Neflight fingered a button on his cuff. "Um…no." he didn't know what in the lords name a Ceiliong was, and wasn't sure he wanted to know anyways.

C.Trunks slammed the book down, causing everyone in the room to jump. "NEITHER DID I!! WHY WAS THIS NOT BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION!?"

A couple hundred people ran whimpering and trembling to his feet, begging forgiveness. C.Trunks ignored them and reached over to push a large red button on the front of his desk. A hole opened up in the floor and the people went screaming to their deaths.

"I certainly hope this won't happen in the future, I really despise doing that sort of thing."

Neflight stared down at where the people had been and inched away from the hole.

"Now Neflight. What can you do? No wait, I have your files here…hang on."

He rummaged around in his desk for a moment before he noticed Neflight watching him intently.

"Uh, what are you doing?" he asked. C.Trunks smiled. "Looking for your files. I have the files of every anime character here, you know. It's vital for my upstanding."

"I see. How did you get them?"

C.Trunks picked up a purple file with a sticker of a staff on the back, frowned, and said; Sore wa Himitsu desu!"

Neflight sweatdropped. "Wrong file. That's Xellos."

"I KNEW THAT!"

Neflight shrank back, and fought to urge to run. Beryl never even got this angry…

"Ah. Here they are. Neflight, worked for Queen Beryl of the Negaverse. Hmm….(skip skip blah blah)hmm…uh huh….mmm…who the hell is Molly?"

Neflight turned bright red. "Leave her out of this, thank you very much."

C.Trunks smiled. "I have found your weakness."

Oh my. How utterly cruel this boy was. Neflight looked wistfully off in the distance and began scratching again.

C.Trunks took note of this. "Uncomfortable uniform, is it?"

"Uh, yeah."

"You'll be happy to know we wear wool underwear around here. For newcomers only, though."

Neflight took the moment to throw back his head and scream in anguish. This was followed by the two guards' from before coming in through the door, hooking an arm around each of his and dragging him off kicking and screaming.

C.Trunks stood up and banged a fist on the table. "PUT HIM IN WOOL UNDERWEAR!" he cried, "THE ITCHIEST, SCRATCHIEST MOST HORRIBLE KIND YOU CAN FIND! AND THEN PUT HIM IN THE PIT!!"

(Dramatic chord)

Neflight screamed even louder as the guards dragged him off and C.Trunks resumed reading up about him.

The pit was just ghastly! It was dark and scary! And the fact that it felt like a sheep was shoved up Neflights ass crack didn't do much to render the situation…

Neflight stared up at the opening as it slid closed and listened to the festivities going on above him. Obviously `the pit' called for great celebration.

"WHO GOES THERE!?"

Neflight jumped at the sudden cry, which sent him scurrying into the corner.

What does this remind me of?

Star Wars. That big pit that the fat slimy slug dude Jabba the Hut sent that Pig guy into.

Hmm, this wasn't good.

"ANSWER MY QUESTION!" the big scary voice boomed.

Neflight pondered. Should he answer the question?

"IT IS I, MAXFEILD STANTON!"

No wait, he hadn't used that name in a loooong time.

From the corners of the pit came the huge towering Vicious White Blob of Nothing. A Ceilong!

(Dramatic chord)

Well this is just peachy. Hand me a lightsaber and I'll be just fine.

The Ceilong looked hungry, Neflight noted with grim realization. He didn't take notice of much else before the darkness consumed him.