Medabots Fan Fiction / Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction / Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction / Digimon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction ❯ KNNNN - Kero's Nonstop Nonsense News Network ❯ 4th Edition ( Chapter 4 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

"Your fanfiction reading has been interuptted by us for this special 24-hours news report."

*

KNNNN (Kero's Nonstop Nonsense News Network)
By PikaFlash And the News Team

4th Edition

Disclaimers: Almost all of the (fake) News Reports and ideas are mine. The Characters and
scenes are not.

*Headline News*

"Eriol Hirazigawa is a bonehead."

"KNNNN is said to be full of Anime Distributors, says Daidouji, Moon, Taylor, Son, Briefs."

"Headline's Email Address headlines@knnnn.com now working."

"Hi, Ikki! From Erika."

"Camerawoman jealous of Lighting Director."

"KNNNN needs more Animes to distribute, says 4Kids, WB, FOX, Nelvana, FUNanimation."

*Kero and Eriol's Sqackback*

[Kero Beros - Newscaster (Email: kero_b@knnnn.com]
[Eriol Hiragizawa - Newscaster. Email: eriol_h@knnnn.com]

Eriol: Welcome to Kero and Eriol's Sqackback. Alright, before we start the show, here's some
late breaking news.

[Topic: Daidouji Corporation Heir Splits up with Fiance]

Eriol: Li Moon, son of the Daidouji Corporation CEO, Madison Taylor says that he's splitting
up with his fiance, Sakura Avalon Junior, as he feels no love for her and decides to go for
Meilin Rae, the young newscaster for KNNNN's popular Chinese-Language Show, "Kung POW News".
Anyway, Kero, did you watch the Anime Awards?

Kero: That was one exciting Tuesday night, as I went to the Anime Awards After After Party,
where I had a drink with Sailor Moon, who was able to hold her drink.

Eriol: Yeah, well, we can't do anything much about that. Ash?

~

[Ash Ketchum - Kanto Correspondent. Email: ash_k@knnnn.com]

Ash: I understand, Eriol. I've sent Erika Tenryou to the Anime Awards' Red carpet on the day
to find out more.

*

[Erika Tenryou - Reporting. Email: erika_t@knnnn.com]

Erika: It was the Indigo Plateau, where the Anime Awards took place. I took the chance to
look the person who I want to meet. One that have been overlooked by FOX. His name is Ikki
Tenryou.

~

Erika walks up to Gohan and Videl who were talking to Ikki.

Erika: Any comments?

Videl: Yeah, Gohan plans to make a music video with a song.

~

Erika was next to Ikki holding a cover.

Erika: Ikki, so, are you wanting to make a comment on your new single, "New Age, Sexy
Medafighter"?

Ikki: Erika, you made this single, so you have the right to comment on it.

~

Erika and Ikki were next to Team Rocket members Jessie and James.

Team Rocket: Ikki, we need you!

~

Erika was showing the cover to Matt and his band as Ikki was standing by a sercurity guard.

Erika: Any comments?

Matt: I say that this is much more better than those f@##ing pancakes that f@!#ing food shop
forgot to send to us!

~

Erika and Ikki were next to Sailor Moon.

Erika: Do you know how to put controversy onto Ikki?

Sailor Moon: Yeah, call him a f@#!wit.

~

Misty was next to Erika and Ikki.

Erika: Could Ikki be your love child?

Ikki: Hey, it could be the other way round.

Erika: Oh. Wrong person then. Ikki, could Misty be your love child?

~

Erika: As the host of the Anime Awards, how do you feel?

Erika and Ikki were standing next to a large mirror with Tai hiding behind it.

Tai: Please, I'm too shy in front of reporters.

~

Erika was with Ikki.

Erika: Apprently, you've been overlooked by FOX.

Ikki: Yeah.

Erika: How about a music video where you appear to have no clothes, with lights blocking off
the private parts? Like that one where the woman was dancing in a room with the lights
blocking off the parts to make it a PG-rated music video.

Ikki: Errr.

Erika: And you could have a pierced body part too, you know.

~

Erika: As you can see, the Anime Awards is exciting, where we mainly focused on Ikki. Erika
Tenryou for KNNNN.

*

[Topic: Kero Watch Watches Kero Watch]

Kero: This is just in. Cerebus! He's an idiot, a fool and a stuff head! A few episodes ago, I
made a report on Privacy. Look at this footage from an episode of Kero Watch.

~Kero Watch Recording~

Kero was sitting at a newsdesk with a very long mustache with the name tag "Cerebus" on his
shirt.

Cerebus: Its as if Anime Fanfiction rated R isn't enough, this one has gone too far, straight
from Kero Beros' mouth.

~Footage: KNNNN 2nd Edition Current Affairs: Topic: Privacy~

"Everywhere, there's hidden cameras, even 'our' hidden cameras found other hidden cameras."

Kero was wearing a hidden camera on his head in Sakura's room was facing Madison peeking into
Sakura's room window on a ladder outside with her video camera.

~End Footage

Cerebus: Kero Watch has proof from a tabloid reporter named David Seaman Macarena...

Voice in the background: That's Seamus MacRaker!

Cerebus: Sorry. He has proof that those hidden cameras weren't found, but were placed there
by Kero Beros himself for his attempt to get ratings for KNNNN.

~Footage: KNNNN 2nd Edition Current Affairs: Topic: Privacy~

"As you can now see, the only way to get through this 'no privicy' law is to do nothing
wrong and stay covered."

Kero covers Sakura and Li's bodies as they continued on what they were doing.

"And that is on our topic of privacy."

~

Cerebus: Such images of having people doing whatever they want under the covers is such
an idiotic idea. What will the kids think?

~End Recording~

Kero: And it doesn't end there. I have found out that I have seen the biggest plagiarist of
all my life.

~Recording: 2002~

Kero was sitting at a newsdesk with a very long mustache with the name tag "Cerebus" on his
shirt.

Cerebus: Good evening and welcome to Kero Watch.

~End Recording~

Kero: And now, look at this recording I made in the mid 1960s.

~Recording: 1965~

On a black and white screen, Kero was sitting at the same newsdeck with an afro on his head.

Kero: Good evening and welcome to Kero Watch.

~End Recording~

Kero: Look at the finisher.

~Recording: 2002~

Kero was sitting at a newsdesk with a very long mustache with the name tag "Cerebus" on his
shirt.

Cerebus: That's all for tonight. Until next week, good night.

~Recording: 1965~

On a black and white screen, Kero was sitting at the same newsdesk with an afro on his head.

Kero: That's all for tonight. Until next week, good night.

~End Recordings~

Eriol: You're right.

Ash: Good for you, Kero!

Kero: But wait, there's more!

~Recording: 1965~

Kero: Good night.

~Recording: 2002~

Cerebus: Good night.

~End Recording

Kero: Three words for you, Cerebus. I got ya. I can't believe that you would plagarise me!
Cerebus, you're a joke!

[Topic: Musical Review]

Eriol: Next, we have Weatherman Brock Blockhead on the news of the Musical, "The Hills are
Alive", which is a spin off of Moulin Rouge and The Sound of Music. Brock Blockhead has more.

~

[Brock Blockhead - Weathertainment. Email: brock_b@knnnn.com]

Brock was at an auditorium with a few Anime characters are on stage.

Brock: This is a revival of the musical, "The Hills are Alive."

~

Brock was with actor Sakura...

Brock: What is this musical about

Sakura: "The hills are Alive" is a musical about two boys from London, who went through
France all the way to Austria to rescue a beautiful princess in the 1930s.

Brock: Very intresting.

~

Two boys were trying to rescue Sakura in a cage.

~

The two boys, Li and Tori were next to Brock.

Brock: So, how did you get the role?

Li: Well, it just happened that we were in a cafe when this man came up to us.

Tori: We were in an argument but this guy comes up to us and say that we're perfect for this
new play.

~

The cast were on stage practicing for the finale as Brock was in the foreground of the
camera's point of view.

Brock: "The Hills are Alive" will open in a weeks time. Brock Blockhead for KNNNN.

*

Kero: Next up, World News.

[KNNNN: Whatever we report, you must believe.]

*World Report...in 20 seconds.*

[Eriol Hiragizawa - Newscaster. Email: eriol_h@knnnn.com]

Eriol: Hello and welcome to the World Report...in 20 seconds.

*Time begins now: 00:00*

"In the Dragonball Z Territory, 3000 dead but there are plans to use the Dragonballs
to revive them."

*00:03*

"In the Digi-World, 5000 Digimon deleted but all will be reborn in the Primary Village."

*00:05*

"In Reedington, a large tornado came by and did not destroy any property."

*00:07*

"In Kanto, a Pokemon Watcher named Tracey got run over by a car and was pronounced dead by
the time the ambulance ran over him."

*00:10*

"In Riverview, a mysterious disaster did not happen."

*00:14*

"In Odaiba, many people got hurt when a soccer ball caused a domino effect on the
spectators."

*00:16*

"And finally, we ran out of news. Which means we don't have time for Brock the Weatherman.
Next is Sports."

*00:20*

[KNNNN: We collect the news...just to slam it right onto your head.]

*Ad Break*

Tonight on AKA (A Kero Affair):

A Pikachu blocks a camera's point of view, followed by a woman cleaning a kitchen sink,
followed by some Medafighters at school robattling each other.

"The Ethnic Con-man Construction Pikachu who leave behind kitchen germs who turn children
into Medafighters and now he wants to be an Anime Distributor."

Some Medafighters were robattling each other at a park, followed by the woman cleaning the
kitchen, followed by a Pikachu driving a truck.

"Plus, Children Medafighters who cheat Anime Distributors, first they leave behind kitchen
germs, now they're Ethnic Con-men Pikachus."

Some Medafighters were walking to the 24-Hop Mart.

"And a special report on a miracle diet which turns Children Medafighters into Anime
Distribution Cheats and why these Ethnic Con-men Construction Pikachus don't want to know."

A Pikachu was running away from a cameraman.

"A shocking story that no parent must miss..."

...on AKA (A Kero Affair), tonight on KNNNN.

*

McAnimes!

"Attention McAnimes customers! Now, we are offering the pickle burger, all made out of
pickles!"

A burger appeared with some pickle patties in it.

"All this just for your healthy lifestyle. So eat at...

Li, Sakura, Misty, Sora and Ikki were at a table with trays of food at a McAnimes restraunt.

Li/Sakura/Misty/Sora/Ikki: MCANIMES! The only place to eat in the Anime world.

*End Ad Break*

*Sports Report*

[Kero Beros - Newscaster (Email: kero_b@knnnn.com]
[Eriol Hiragizawa - Newscaster. Email: eriol_h@knnnn.com]

Kero: Welcome back to KNNNN. This is the Sports report.

(Topic: Soccer Mania)

Eriol: Ikki's team is up against Tai's team in day two of the Japan cup. Brock Blockhead
has more.

~

[Brock Blockhead - Weathertainment. Email: brock_b@knnnn.com]

A group of Hercules-Beetle Medabots were playing soccer against a group of Agumon as the
Agumons continually kick the balls into the goals.

Brock: As you can see, Ikki's team was no match for Tai's team, which becomes a laughing
matter if the Hercules-Beetles loses to a bunch of Agumons. This is Brock Blockhead for KNNNN.

~

(Topic: Hard Times)

Kero: In other news, Pokemon Trainer Richard Breaker, aka. Richie, has fallen on hard times,
no longer able to afford to rent a bike. That gives him no option but to walk. But Richie
has used this opportunity for his walk to be a charity drive, where he will walk to raise
money for disadvantaged kids who dream to be Pokemon Trainers. Next, we have Eriol with
Finance.

[KNNNN: Rewarding the good, defeating the bad.]

*Money Wise, Stock Full*

[Eriol Hiragizawa - Newscaster. Email: eriol_h@knnnn.com]

Eriol: Welcome to Money Wise, Stock Full. I'm Eriol Hiragizawa. Now, for Finance, I'll be on
the air live with our Digi-World Correspondent, Tai Yagami, in the Digi-World on Finance.

~

[Tai Yagami - Digi-World correspondent. Email: tai_y@knnnn.com]

On camera, a pair of legs were swinging from the top of the screen over a newsdesk.

~

Eriol: Since we are having a technical difficulty with the transmission with Tai, onto
Current Affairs with Kero after the break.

[KNNNN: More Ns than any other news services before KNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN......]

*Ad Break*

On KNNNN for Kids, we have two super heroes who claims to be the strongest in the world,
Sakura and Sora! On today's episode, Sakura and Sora faces off against the Cootie Boys.

A bunch of boys were walking towards Sakura and Sora with green glow on their hands.

"Touch us! Touch us!"

"No, Sakura, don't let them touch you! They got cootie germs!"

Sakura and Sora were trapped into a corner as Sakura covers her eyes.

"If I don't see them, they will go away!"

"Touch us!"

"Will Sakura and Sora make the Cootie Boys disapear? Find out more on..."

KNNNN for KIDS! "This is for the kids of today, workers of tomorrow!" Get KNNNN for kids,
only on the Kero's Kable Channel 24.

*

McAnimes!

"Kids, do you want a job?"

A bunch of Anime Characters between the age of 6 to 10 were working behind the counter.

"That's right. You can get a job, only for just 10 yen an hour."

A sercurity guard kicks one of the children.

"And based on rules by the AN (Anime Nations), we have people of the law to make sure
everything is safe for the children."

Some fries were on the floor as a sercurity guard whips a child.

"If you're lucky, you might find the lucky germ. So kids, eat at..."

Misty was sitting with the kids working who were working behind the counter.

Misty/The Children: MCANIMES! The only place to eat in the Anime world.

*End Ad Break*

*Current Affairs*

Kero: Welcome to Current Affairs. First, I would like to make an apology to Mimi Tachikawa
on a report I did on her exactly one year ago.

~Report: 4th Edition 2001~

Kero was holding a pair of hands next to a paint shopkeeper.

Kero: Lets pretend that these pair of gloves are Mimi's hands. How bloody would they be?

The paint shopkeeper dipped the pair of gloves into the red paint and passes them to Kero.

Kero: Now that's how bloody guilty she is!

~End Report~

Kero: What I originally meant was that it was red with guilt, but Mimi was not involved
in the murder of Tracey Sketchit. I apologise to Mimi Tachikawa for any misunderstanding. But
I still got that offer for that exclusive interview including a dramatised re-enactment of
Tracey's death. Anyway, onto our current affair report.

[Topic: The Environment: Use it or lose it.]

~

Kero was in a house made out of wood.

"The Enviroment, the natural resource for me to build my own house out of the natural
resources. But the enviromentalists have gone too far."

~

Out of a window, Rokusho was seen carrying the sign which appears to say "Too Far".

"They believe that the enviroment should be untouched and the way we all live is destructive.
This indicates to us that they've been barking up the wrong tree. So we need to be there
in order to cut them down."

~

Kero drives a car to a laborotory and hits a tree branch.

"But science has found ways to fix the things we screw up."

~

Kero floats to the scientist Eli who was holding a test tube.

Kero: Have you found a solution to global warming, Professor Eli?

Eli: Actually, I was working on firmer breast implants.

Kero: Good, this indicates one thing. You got to set your priorities.

~

"Some enviromentalists do not like the idea..."

A bunch of Anime Characters dressed as Hippies were in an auditorium.

"...but there's only one answer to solve this problem as of now: Globalisation."

~

Kero was sitting on a tree.

Kero: In the past, in order to build a table, I have to cut down a tree in my backyard.

The screen moves to Kero sitting at a table.

Kero: But now, this table came from down south where trees are abundant. So, which means
my table is cheaper than to cut my own tree down and I still get to keep my tree.

Kero was back on his tree.

Kero: And everybody winds up to a better life than before.

Kero winds up a wind up toy.

~

"But as we know, fossil fuels are precious."

Sakura was putting fuel into her car.

"Which is why we must stop sharing with greedy Raremons!"

Kero was holding a picture of a bunch of Raremons were in a room as Kero stamps the word
"Greedy" onto the picture. Then some beached Whalemons were on the beach after an oil slick
accident.

"And beached Whalemons are polluting our beaches just by setting their large bodies there
and they're causing a lot of sore eyes just looking at them. Which is why we need more
Digimon Hunters!"

Some Digimon hunters were on a boat shooting harpoons at some Whalemon.

~

Kero was next to Rokusho, playing a bongo.

"But then again, enviromentalists are right. We must share the environment."

Rokusho tied himself to a tree.

"But we can't put our lives on trees, living off their sap. Which is why we need to cut them
down to help of Mother Nature to give us a job for a living."

Leomon was seen cutting down trees.

~

Kero was in a dining room of his house.

Kero: Like some people said, 'life is like a box of chocolates' or in this case, 'a glass of
wine'.

A servant pours wine into Kero's wineglass.

Kero: Excellent.

Kero walks to his chair next to a Ursarig rug on the ground.

Kero: And that's why I love the environment. This is Kero Beros for KNNNN.

Kero smokes a cigar.

~

Kero: And now, its Email time.

*From Sailor Multi (aka. Brass) who ended up stranded on a boat on the way to China, asks
for any way on how to stop Metabee from singing "Row Row Row Your Bot".*

*From Henry who works for the 24-Hop Mart in Riverview, he asks if we can take him of our
distribution list.*

*And Karin in Riverview asks, Where do we get the Soundtrack for the Musical, "The Hills Are
Alive?*

Kero picks up a CD case.

Kero: Well, it just so happens that I got the soundtrack here, which have all the songs sang
in the musical, including the beautiful opening from the original done by Ewan Mcgregor...

"The hills are alive...with the sound of music."

Kero: To the dramatic ending in the 1970s version with the voices of a lot of people.

"The hills are alive...with the sound of music!"

*KeroCorp Charities Show*

[Kero Beros - Newscaster (Email: kero_b@knnnn.com]

Kero: Now, as you know, there are rumors that Nelvana is about to enter hard times has come
falling down on us.

~

[Erika Tenryou - MedaCorp Correspondent. Email: erika_t@knnnn.com]

Erika was standing on a soccer field.

Erika: That's right, so in order to save Nelvana, we must sell her in order to make up for
the losses we had.

~

Kero: That's right. So, we have brought up a number to help Nelvana.

*1900-Sell-Nelvana*

Kero: Every phonecall you make costs US$1 from every dollar of your call to Nelvana goes
straight to Nelvana's treasury to improve Nelvana's chances to be sold.

~

Erika: Yes, I have met up with one Nelvana worker earlier on his opinion.

*

[Erika Tenryou - Reporting. Email: erika_t@knnnn.com]

Erika was next to Eli Moon in an office.

Erika: So, what do you think of Nelvana being sold to a new boss?

Eli: Nelvana is about to be sold?! I gotta get out of here before the new boss sees me
slacking around! AHH!

Eli jumps out of a window of the second floor.

Erika: The deal hasn't been made yet, Eli!

A bright flash occured out of the window and Eli flies back in.

Eli: Oh.

*

Kero: Excellent. Now remember its 1900-Sell-Nelvana, because every phonecall you make to
the hotline costs US$1 from every dollar of your call costs that goes straight to Nelvana.

~Kero Beros and Erika Tenryou are consultants for Nelvana when not reporting the News for
KNNNN.~

~

Erika: At the moment, I'm on a soccer field where its Donate a Goal by a joint venture between
MedaCorp and KeroCorp Charities. As you know, Tai's Soccer team have been landing many more
goals against Ikki's Soccer team. So in order to help Ikki's Soccer team against Tai's Soccer
team by donating goals. Look:

*

Ikki's Team: Day One Goals: 108

Tai's Team: Day One Goals: 250

Ikki's Team: Day Two Goals: 42

Goals Donated: 50 and counting.

*

Erika: So, please, donate a goal or goals to Ikki's soccer team to win the Japan Cup.

In the background, Metabee and Brass kicked a few balls into the goal protected by Goalkeeper
ArcBeetle.

[KNNNN: This is KNNNN: This is KNNNN: This is...]

[Topic: Angry Anaconda]

Kero was in the studio

Kero: And as you see, something sure got up Angela Anaconda's...

*And that concludes our live coverage of KNNNN. We will restore you back to your normal
Fanfiction reading. Thank you for reading KNNNN.*

News Crew:
Kero Beros [kero_b@knnnn.com] (Editor and Leading Commentator)
Eriol Hiragizawa [eriol_h@knnnn.com] (Commentator and Former Leading Correspondent)
Ash Ketchum [ash_k@knnnn.com] (Middle-level Correspondent and Investigative Journalist)
Erika Tenryou [erika_t@knnnn.com] (Experienced Correspondent and Investigative Journalist)
Tai Yagami [tai_y@knnnn.com] (Leading Investigative Journalist)
Brock Blockhead [brock_b@knnnn.com] (Weatherman)

Ad Crew:
Misty Ketchum
Sora Takenouchi
Li Syaoran
Ikki Tenryou
Sakura Avalon