Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Breaking the Habit ❯ Chapter 6: Unless I try to start again ( Chapter 6 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Title: Breaking the Habit
Author: DeityOfDeath
Archive: Yes please...
Pairings: Naruto/Sasuke, Naruto/Itachi
Category: Drama, romance, slash, yaoi, Smut, Mpreg
rating: NC-17/R
Spoilers: Most likely.
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Rape, Non-con, Mpreg, Angst SPOILERS!!!!!!
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Naruto or its chars. They are property of major companies.

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!

The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Breaking the Habit" by Linkin Park.

Breaking the Habit

Chapter 6:Unless I try to start again

It seems as though time goes slow when you are doing things you don't enjoy like taking tests, doing work, or having to deal with boring or annoying situations and the people often associated with them and yet the opposite can be said for time flying. It seems that time goes faster when you're enjoying yourself and when you wish it would stop altogether.

These past two months have flown by. I've spent most of April recuperating and looking through the stacks of papers that Tsunade - bachan brought over, in the hopes that I could find a home for myself and my unborn child. It took weeks to finish off the stacks and narrow down the ones I liked as well as the ones that were in my budget area. That was a task in itself. Tsunade - bachan helped with that saying that she would help with the payment of the home and I could pay her what I could when I could. I tearfully accepted her help, damn hormones.

The home I chose was away from the city but not out of the town. It's a quaint home with a small yard that faces the stream to the west of Konoha. It has three rooms and is a bit traditional with wooden floors that had once been shined to perfection and will be once again when I get done with them. There's a porch around the back that is three stairs high and in my yard there are two small trees that look to be fruit trees. I'm not certain what type but when spring comes they'll blossom and then bare fruit and then I'll know. There's also a larger tree that already has a swing hanging from one of its lowest branches. It's old but still good and can be used again once I replace the rope that holds it.

Iruka Sensei said it's a gorgeous house. He and Kakashi Sensei are looking into finding out about the homes next door in the hopes that one of them are for sale.

As you can tell I am in love with my new home. It's empty with just me but soon it will be filled with the crying of a new born. Tsunade says I can move in now as long as Iruka and Kakashi Sensei move in as well or if they're willing to do around the clock guard duty. Iruka Sensei can't be there for me all the time because of his work and neither can Kakashi Sensei but when they're not there someone comes over under the pretenses of a social visit. I know better. Tsunade has always been a bit of a worry wart.

I can walk again now that my ankle is better among other things. My bruises have been faded for a month now although I seem to have scarred where Itachi bit the junction between my neck and shoulder. It isn't too noticeable…only when you look real close.

I haven't seen Sasuke since the bathhouse incident but gossip flew through the town as it often does; about the horrible scratches and gashes that covered his face and how he got them. Some were stories of enemy battles and attacks that had actually touched the great Uchiha prodigy while others told of women scorned and two timing which led to a domestic dispute in the bathhouse. None were close to the truth and that allowed me to let out the small breath I had been holding after the incident.

His scratches faded and with them so did the gossip.

I waited to hear gossip involving myself but nothing had reached me which led me to believe that my friends had kept tight lipped about what they knew or had seen. My anxiety has been obvious over it and Iruka Sensei keeps insisting I go talk to them. At the moment I think I will keep my secrets just a little longer. It is the coward's way out but just for now, besides I won't have much of a choice in another month or so. I am already beginning to show. It's nothing to noticeable, just a small rounded bump on my once flat midsection.

Tsunade - bachan calls it my “baby bump”. It still feels unreal. I've had a few checkups and everything is progressing normally or so Shizune and Nade' - bachan says.

They also say I need to get out more so I've been doing small D class missions, nothing too strenuous or dangerous. So far I've helped do basic everyday chores like pulling weeds, picking up trash, cleaning the homes of those who can't and other menial tasks.

Today is much of the same.

“Naruto!”

I turned around and saw a smiling Hinata standing next to her taller and much more intimidating cousin Neiji.

“Hey, Hinata - chan! Hey Neiji! What are you two up to, running errands?”

Hinata blushed and glanced up at Neiji from the corner of her eyes before smiling brightly back at me.

“Hai~! What about you Naruto - kun? Should you be doing such work in your condition?”

I smiled and used my elbow to wipe the sweat from my eyes and then forehead before I stood up and stretched. I brushed the dirt from my knees and walked over towards them.

“I should be alright. You know Bachan wouldn't give me anything unless she thought I could handle it. Besides it's nice to get out and enjoy the sunshine and the nice view every now and then, right Hi-chan,” I asked winking at her.

Her cheeks which had just regained their natural coloring once again flared a deep pink bordering on red as she nodded looking down at her fingers which steepled against each other in the old habit she had almost broken herself of.

“Will you return to higher missions when your…fully recovered,” asked Neiji.

I saw his eyes flicker down to my midsection momentarily before they returned to my face. He looked back up and caught my eyes. His eyes widened and his entire face showed surprise, distress and what I was betting was embarrassment before he looked back down in an apologetic manner.

I smiled brightly at him and patted his shoulder letting him know that I wasn't offended or embarrassed.

“Of course, I have to keep working towards being Hokage!”

I saw emotions flicker across his features before he finally allowed one to settle as he grinned and nodded, “That's good to hear.”

I grinned back at him then stretched again, “Well I'd better go let Ms. Noda know that her gardens have been weeded. I'll see you two sooner before later.”

“Bye Naruto - kun,” Hinata said brightly unlike her cousin and soon to be fiance' Neiji who just nodded his head in acknowledgement with a small lifting of the right side of his mouth. For those that knew Neiji well enough it was a smile. A smile that at one time was rare if not non-existent but not so much anymore since he is a bird that has outgrown his small gilded cage and clipped wings.

“You may have your wings clipped but know that eventually they will grow out again. You can always grow into a new you”, was what I had overheard him saying to Hinata.

He's not as dense as it he seems.

As I walked towards the back door Ms. Noda came out and smiled brightly in my direction.

“Good job, Naruto. I've already paid the office but here's a little something. I'll see you next week, right?”

I smiled and nodded, “As usual Ms. Noda. Thanks!”

I walked around her gate and out the open swinging gate while pocketing the few coins she had given me into my pocket. They would go into the new frog bank I had bought from a vendor when traveling with the perverted monk and training. I had started filling it in the hopes of eventually getting a house but this past month I had made it a savings bank of sorts for the “baby bump”.

I whistled sharply and watched as Pakkun jumped down from a nearby tree and stretched.

“That was quick,” he commented.

“It's getting easier to move around and I've been working up my muscles again,” I answered.

“You've also gotten stronger in other ways, Naruto.”

I smiled down at him and nodded.

I had gotten stronger in other ways. It had taken every bit of willpower I had had the first time I returned to tasks and duties not to jump at every sound or go running towards home. Part of me had wanted to keep hiding in the house away from others, away from my fears but I knew I couldn't. What type of life would that be? It would be like sitting quietly in the aviary and waiting for my wings to be clipped. Or in my case, waiting for the familiar swirling red eyes of Itachi to return.

Instead I returned. The first few days either Kakashi or Iruka Sensei would accompany me. I would startle easily and had trouble finishing quickly because every sound and movement caught my attention. After a while I got used to every individual sound and movement again and instead of Kakashi or Iruka Sensei I would have Pakkun. Pakkun would be a constant bodyguard until the baby was born and probably for a while after. I didn't mind.

We walked side by side as we headed back to Iruka Sensei's apartment. I walked up the stairs and opened the door, holding it open for Pakkun who followed behind me. Once he was through I closed the door and made my way to my room. I went in and pulled out a pair of clean boxers and a T. shirt, setting them inside a basket filled with bath necessities. I made my way to the small bathroom down the hall and opened the door.

Steam wisped out of the bathroom in an almost rolling wave and all too quickly revealed the coupled forms of Kakashi and Iruka Sensei. I stood with my jaws wide as Kakashi Sensei held Iruka Sensei's right leg in the air so that he could thrust deeper into the slightly turned body of my former teacher.

I closed my mouth and fought to regain my motor skills as I shut the door and doubled back to my room. I went inside and shut the door before crawling into the middle of my bed and on my bottom pulling my knees up close to my body so that I could wrap my arms around them.

I set my head atop my knees and sat there while the scene replayed itself continuously in my head. I don't know how long I sat there before a hesitant hand touched the top of my knee and remained there. I looked at the hand and noted the tanned calluses that ran along it while I fought to make sense of things that didn't seem complicated.

It took me what seemed like minutes to make myself follow the callused hand to wrist, arm, shoulder and finally a concern filled face of Iruka Sensei. I stared at his face and marveled at the scar across the bridge of his nose.

I found the warm comforting hand on my knee disappear and then two warm hands sandwiched my face and moved it up so that I looked into two warm brown eyes.

“I'm sorry. Should've knocked first,” I said in a voice that should have sounded anything but steady.

“Stop.”

I looked into those eyes and saw that anger was neither present nor any sort of negative emotion that my fuddled mind could come up with.

“It happens. We all walk in on our parents at one time or another,” replied Kakashi sensei. His voice was oozing with amusement.

I saw their acceptance and calm and allowed the questions flow from my mouth.

“Can…does it feel good?”

“It, you mean sex,” asked Iruka Sensei with surprise.

I nodded and tried to think of a way to further explain myself.

“Yes,” Kakashi Sensei answered alleviating some of the stress of explaining myself.

“How…how can anything like…like that…like what happened to me…how can it be…”

“When your partner or lover cares for you they do certain things to make it easier and a lot less painful for the one receiving; in other words the uke,” said Kakashi Sensei enthusiastically answering my questions for once.

“What if they did those things and it still hurt? What things?”

“There are oils, lotions and lubrications that can be bought or used to help things move `easier' or `smoother'. You can also prepare the uke using fingers or sometimes other…'things'”, Said Iruka Sensei with a small blush.

I sat there silent for a minute or so before I felt the need to explain myself.

“It hurt.”

Quiet followed my soft declaration.

“I've been hit with kunai and shuriken, hard punches and kicks, fire blasts and needles and they each had their own level of pain and yet nothing felt as horrible, and dehumanizing as `that'.”

Iruka Sensei nodded and I heard a soft hmph from Kakashi Sensei.

“It felt like I was being torn apart from the inside and the humiliation of it all piled on top of his mocking commentary. His cruel voice commenting on how pleasurable my body, pain, and screams were, I wished for death for the first time in my life.”

“What you saw us doing was consensual and agreed on by both of us. It's different when you trust that person and when that person you give yourself is trustworthy. One day you'll find yourself a person that you can give your full trust in and you will find what a pleasurable thing `it' can be.”

When had I started feeling comfortable enough with these two to allow such a conversation to take place?

A quick thought ran through my head. I could imagine myself giving this talk to my own son or daughter down the road only with a happier note and not quite such unusual and unfortunate circumstances.

I allowed my thoughts take their course for a moment or so before a hand reached down and ruffled my dirty sweat covered spiky locks.

“Go take a shower. It looks like Ms. Noda gave you the works today as usual.”

I nodded and scooted past Iruka Sensei and off the bed and into a standing position. As I walked past Kakashi Sensei my basket of bath supplies were pushed into my hand. I walked out of my room and back into the bathroom.

I was soon stripped and naked in the shower while my thoughts continued on like a tornado through my mind. I allowed my imagination take control as it took the scene from a short while ago and played it again placing me in Iruka Sensei's position.

It seemed odd even as I thought it and yet the figure of Kakashi Sensei disappeared and became a shadowed figure that slowly took shape. I felt my breath catch as my soapy right hand slid over soap slicked nipples and traveled further down to naval and finally stopped at the junction of my hips and my growing manhood nestled between my thighs.

I allowed myself the freedom to do the one thing I had found myself unable to do since way before Itachi.

My hand slid along my length slowly at first as the shadowed man took form. Muscles and flesh connected to reveal pale bodies with a rippled six pack and pecks and those muscled handles that the most muscular of men had around their hips. The girls of the village jokingly called them `grips' or actual `love handles'.

My hand began to move faster as the familiar tingling sensation began to build from deep down. I pumped faster as a smooth face formed and black tresses flowed freely, framing ebony eyes. I felt that edge come closer as my excitement grew. I watched as that face became Sasuke and just as my orgasm crashed over me in a cresting wave Sasuke's face changed and became longer and less arrogant and more emotionless. Those ebony eyes became colder and just as they turned crimson with ebony pinwheels I collapsed to my knees.

“Goddamn you Kyuubi!”

We are one and the same now kit. What thoughts you have are my thoughts as well, which means deep down inside you hunger to feel him once again just as I do.

I shook my head and growled, “You have no clue what your talking about!”

Don't I?

I let it drop. It wasn't worth arguing with her when my own mind was filled to overflowing with my own thoughts. I didn't need hers as well.

To Be Continued…..

Sorry it took so long. So work takes precedence and I once again find myself working a 9-5. (Kinda like that Dolly Parton song) I'm working at a pet store. This is bad because I so want to buy half the pets there.

Otakon is here again which means I get to staff! YAY~! So if you're going stop by the art show and say “hi”.

And to everyone who reviewed: THANK YOU~!!!

New Notes:

Mid January - Naruto is raped

Early-mid February - Naruto is back in Konoha, Sasuke makes a move.

mid/late February - Naruto learns of his pregnacy

March - Naruto moves out of his apartment

April - 4mths along, picked house.