Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Demons of No Hope ❯ Lonliness ( Chapter 2 )

Demons of No Hope

-Loneliness

Last time-

I see those two looking at me and I look away. I don't need their pity. It is my burden alone. I don't need anyone. I don't. But deep inside, a little voice is crying out in agony and howling and screaming for someone to help carry my burden. I am stuck here. In this village. My name is Naruto Uzumaki and I am forever caught in this trap.

 

Continuing-

I sit by myself in an empty classroom. I look out the window and watch the graduating class. I can't help but feel envious of them. I know that two of them know my real demise, my prison that I cannot escape. I look away and notice that someone is standing in the doorway.

 

“Hello, why haven't you passed?” he asks.

 

I don't know how to reply, so I remain mute.

 

“I've been watching your skills grow, strengthen. You should have passed.” He continues.

 

“What do you know? You know nothing of me.” I whisper, “and you do well to not know.” I can tell I surprised him with my response. He is quiet, he is considering my answer and weighing each word carefully.

 

“Why didn't they pass you?” he asks quietly sitting on a desk.

 

I don't respond but look out the window. I don't have to respond. If he has been watching me, than, he knows. He knows of the demon I harbor. I watch my classmates cheer and drink their punch to the sensei's congrats. I wince as I feel tears well up, knowing that I cannot belong, cannot join in. I look down, away from the happy goers.

 

“Why do you not join them?” he asks.

 

“I am not welcome.” I reply quietly. “I never was.” He is once again silent and considering my answer. My sensei enters and he is surprised that someone is in here with me. He immediately blusters.

 

“You shouldn't be in here.” He whispers hoarsely.

 

I flinch away from the words, I know he fears that I would harm this stranger. I say nothing and continue to watch the floor.

 

“Why do you ask me of this?” the stranger asks.

 

“No one is allowed in here. Only the failing students are.” My sensei growls.

 

I once again wince. I cannot continue this existence, but know I must to keep the demon locked away. It is a burden that I carry alone. I look out at the happy students and feel dirty for watching their happiness blossom. I turn away from the window and cover my ears to block out their sounds. I feel the tears threaten to fall and I feel so stupid for wanting someone to share this pain with. How can I condone someone to this pain? I can't. I would rather live alone in this prison, than go out there and meet someone special…I don't want anyone else falling into my trap, my demise.

 

“He has passed, hasn't he?” the stranger asks. “I've been watching him train by himself. He is quite good.”

 

“No, he failed.” My sensei states firmly. “Ask him yourself.”

 

I sense the stranger turn to me, he asks me, and I reply quietly, “I failed.” The lie burns through me but I welcome the pain. It means I can still feel. No one has dared touch me, not even accidentally, so I don't anything about touch. I can feel the stranger's questioning look boring into me, but I do not reply. This is my prison. I don't want anyone trying to get me out. They will only succeed into locking themselves in here as well and I don't need, or want the company. The small voice cries out in protest at this. I nurse the voice quietly trying to quell its whimpers with soothing thoughts. But it is useless, there is nothing to soothe it with. My hopes are squashed, I can't become a Hokage or jounin. It is impossible for me. I feel a tear slide out but ignore it, it will dry up and evaporate like all the ones before it. It is only water and salt, basic chemicals that come out when emotion runs strong. I feel the stranger turn to my sensei.

 

“You would ask me to ask him, knowing that he would lie?” he asks quietly.

 

I hear the threat in the undertone. He is angry, and I don't know why. But I fear for my sensei. Even if he won't let me pass and escape this prison, I will protect him.

 

“He failed.” My sensei says firmly, evenly, almost daring him to argue.

 

The stranger attacks but suddenly I am in the way blocking his attack. I don't look at him. “Please,” I whisper, “I failed. Don't attack my sensei. He has done nothing wrong.” I look at the floor. I can tell that I have surprised both men. “Please leave.” I can feel the stranger looking at me oddly, but he leaves. I turn to my sensei. He is still stunned.

 

“I didn't see him move…how did you know he was going to attack?” my sensei asks.

 

I reply quietly that it was his undertone and in his stance.

 

“Go. Go to your dorm and stay there until further summons.” He leaves.

 

I do as he says. I am his to order around. That is my duty. I am a genin in training but can never be jounin, a genin's silent wish. I leave to head to my dorm. I walk, I do not run, I don't even look up from the ground to glance at the curious spectators. I cross the grounds quickly and quietly and enter my room. I laugh bitterly. It is not a room, more of a closet compound upon which they imprison me to seal me away from prying eyes of the strangers that are more daring than others. I cannot help but wonder about this new stranger. He has to be a sensei, who is he? Why was he watching me? Why is he here? I wonder if maybe there is someone out there that listened to my plea and sent him to take me away. I find that I do not mind. Whatever task he has planned for me I will complete. Then maybe someday I can become jounin…I chuckle, `yeah right, the chances of that happening are like one in a zillion, and that chance is in the negatives.' I lay there on the floor, as the room holds no bed, listening to my happy classmates and the nearing of night. I listen to the angry voices and find out that the stranger is Kakashi. Their voices fade away as they continue past, checking to see if I am locked in for the night. I wallow in self pity…

 

Sakura and Sasuke approach the back of the building.

 

“Psst, Naruto.” Sakura hisses.

 

I blink, why is she here? I wonder if I should reply.

 

“Naruto!” she hisses louder.

 

“What?” I demand. I want to know why she and Sasuke are here. “And why is Uchiha here?” I can hear their confusion. They are wondering how I knew that Sasuke was out there. He is quiet, but I can hear the displacement of the air upon which he resides. That is something he needs to work on.

 

“Do you know who that stranger is?” Sakura asks. “We saw him leave the classroom…”

 

Then they must know what happened in there. I feel horrible, a true ninja doesn't lie… “He is Kakashi Sensei.” I whisper. I just found that out only mere hours ago…was it hours? Feels like eternity, cut off from the world in here.

 

“Why is he here? Everyone knows the students he takes, never make it to the Chuunin tests…” Sasuke says.

 

The first time he spoke to me. I smile to myself and secretly bask in his voice, savoring the texture of it. I never heard him talk before, at least not in my presence, it is like a rare dessert. I am happy. “I don't know.” I reply. “But you should leave, before someone approaches. They don't like it when there are people around.” I sense that they don't need an explanation of who “they” were. I stand and watch through my bars on my high window as they quickly steal away. I am saddened, I am happy. Saddened, because they would care for their own safety, and happy that they would rather leave. I feel so terrible inside. I feel the tears pour out and I slowly sink to the ground crying into my knees. Is everyone out to make me feel so miserable that I die? To know that I cannot, for fear of releasing the demon keeps me from killing myself. Sometimes I wonder maybe if the demon dies with me, but I do not want to chance another child with my curse.

 

Kakashi watched Sakura and Sasuke run closer. He drops out of the tree, “why were you here?” he demands, “no one is allowed near these parts.”

 

“Please, sir, we were just visiting our friend…” Sakura pleads.

 

“Friend? I wasn't aware that he had any.” Kakashi says crossing his arms.

 

Sakura and Sasuke's eyes widen.

 

“Naruto seems to train alone, hang alone, eat alone, be alone. And yet you claim to be his friend, why?” Kakashi demanded.

 

Sasuke frowned, “what would you know?” he spat. “you know nothing of us.” He angrily storms away.

 

Sakura stares after him, “Sasuke…” she backs away from Kakashi and races after Sasuke.

 

Kakashi watched them silently.

 

I hear the whole thing. I feel elated that they would call me friend, and crushed when they don't respond to further questioning. I should know better to never let my hopes up, but I guess that is my own demise. I continue to cry. And I don't know why. If it's because I am lonely, cold, sad, angry, bitter, or crushed. I just cry.