Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Everyone Else is Doing IT ❯ Black Is Back ( Chapter 3 )

Everyone Else is Doing IT

(part 3)

SasuNaru (with a dash of Neji/Naruto)

 

Naruto and Sasuke bond unconventionally over XXX Yaoi fanfiction. Neji turns out to have an interesting talent or two. Gaara is Gaara. Psychotic and unpredictable, with a penchant for black.

 

______

 

Naruto skulked through the twisting streets, berating himself for listening to the bastard.

 

He felt naked without his jacket, and he might as well have been with all the stares he was getting. He couldn't get anywhere without a flock of people whispering and giggling, and batting of eyelashes. The only plus side was that Sasuke seemed to be a bit distracted during training, but that was probably because he was used to the drooling being aimed at his bastard self instead.

 

“Couldn't hurt, my ass,” he muttered.

 

He was making fun of me, wasn't he? He'd glared at Sasuke to let him know he'd figured it out, and the dark haired shinobi had actually looked a bit guilty. He'd also disappeared the moment training was over, so Naruto'd had to make the long walk home by himself.

 

He kicked at a rock in his path and shivered at the chill wind that had been kicking up since the sun set.

 

“Naruto.” A cool, deep voice slipped out of the shadows to address him. It sounded familiar.

 

He sensed the person somewhere to his right. He turned.

 

“Gaara,” he said, nodding in greeting.

 

The red haired sand shinobi stepped forward, the shadows melting back from him like water. It was creepy. But not as creepy as Gaara himself.

 

Gaara's strange eyes tilted up at him, a stranger smile crooking up one corner of his mouth. It looked alien on the otherwise expressionless face.

 

“You look good in black,” he said simply, before morphing back into the darkness.

 

---

 

Naruto high tailed it back to his apartment, slammed the door, and shouted into the emptiness. “WHYYYYYYYY????!!!!?!?!?!”

 

He ran back to his room and threw on his beloved jacket. He'd never take it off. He'd even sleep in it. As long as it kept them all away.

 

Slightly calmer with the reassuring weight upon his shoulders, he wrote Sasuke a scathing email.

 

bastard,

i never want a repeat of the horrors of today. black is what attracts them to you!!! HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME THAT???? orange is my protective color!

 

and if gaara starts stalking me, it will completely be ALL YOUR FAULT.

 

p.s. go die under a swarm of rabid fangirls.

 

~N

 

 

Naruto sent the email and noticed his inbox was flooded.

 

He couldn't take this.

 

 

bastard,

i have 147 new messages in my box because of you.

 

~N

 

 

He felt the need to be proactive. He needed to DO something.

 

Black may attract Gaara, but did it repel Neji? And if it did, would that be better or worse than having psycho Gaara take a liking to him? Then again… maybe Gaara didn't mean anything by it. Maybe he was merely complimenting his choice of colors? Somehow, Naruto didn't think so.

 

Well, there might be a way to find out. If he could check back through Neji's fic, he could see if he mentioned liking anything in particular, or disliking anything. He could comb the words, read between the lines, and formulate a way to save himself.

 

He went online, and had almost logged in, when he felt a cold wash of shock fall over him. “Wait! If I log in, he'll KNOW.” Naruto blanched. “He'll think things…” Aw man! How was he supposed to do reconnaissance when the enemy could watch his every move?!

 

What would Sasuke do?

 

Naruto pondered this.

 

Sasuke would go undercover. Naruto's face lit up in glee. That's it! I'll make a new account, use the bastard's email to throw them off…

 

Excitedly, he clicked the link for `New User.'

 

NAME: Sasuke

USER NAME: Sasuke-teme

PASSWORD: NarutoRulz

EMAIL: uchiha1@webmail.com

 

Naruto grinned. “There!” He clicked `Ok.”

 

<Error:> Name and E-mail are already in use. Please try again.

 

“Dammit.”

 

Naruto couldn't be too annoyed, though. The thought of I-know-of-yaoi-but-don't-read-it-except-to-torment-my-rival-back Sasuke having an account at a yaoi site was enough to make him fall out of his chair laughing. But he didn't. He controlled his wild sniggering, and came up with another email address and name to put in.

 

He was a little perplexed that most of the emails he thought of were apparently already registered with the site. Hmmm. Either most of the people he knew were closet yaoi fans, or someone was blocking all the email addresses he was likely to try to set up a new account. Or was that getting a bit paranoid?

 

Fine then. He popped over to WebMail and set up a new email for himself. He put in something completely at random, so as not to reflect upon himself.

 

Enter New E-mail: sakura /@webmail.com

 

He stared at the blinking cursor. What was it that Sasuke called her? Oh yeah.

 

Enter New E-mail: SakuraThePinkMenace@webmail.com

 

He finished setting it up, then went back to `Best XXX BL Naruto Slash'

 

NAME: Bob

USER NAME: Sasuke-teme

PASSWORD: NarutoRulz

EMAIL: SakuraThePinkMenace@webmail.com

 

There.

 

He clicked `Ok' and this time, it worked.

 

“Finally!”

 

He looked over the splash page, before looking for the story, and noticed a ton of new ones mentioned. His brow furrowed when he noticed his name was in a lot of them. Coincidence. Surely.

 

He glanced through most of them, skimming and reading here and here, confirming for himself that the majority of the Gaara ones were indeed scary, and that Neji seemed to have been busy. He wondered how many of the authors were people he knew, and how many were writing themselves with him like Neji was. He sincerely hoped that Gaara did not have a creative bone in his body.

 

He was currently working his way through the Neji ones, trying to determine something he could use to his advantage. He decided to ignore the Gaara ones. If the psycho ever decided to dig him that way, there'd be no hope for him.

 

“Let's deal with one problem at a time, shall we?”

 

The chime of an aim window sounded, interrupting him.

 

<IhaveU>: Hello… Bob. You've been busy.

 

Naruto screeched.

 

No, no, no, there was NO connection to his aim and the login he just set up! How would they know it was him? They couldn't!

 

<Ramenluvr>: who the hell is bob?

<IhaveU>: Indeed.

<Ramenluvr>: what?

 

That nickname… it reminded him of the one Neji(?) had been using. Was it him again??

 

<IhaveU>: You just can't stay away, can you? You even went to all the trouble of making another account.

<Ramenluvr>: i don't know what you're talking about

<IhaveU>: We were pleased to see that you enjoy our site so much.

<Ramenluvr>: i don't go to your stupid site, whatever it is. now stop harassing me!

 

Naruto closed the window.

 

A new window popped up almost immediately.

 

<IhaveU>: You looked good today, Naruto.

<IhaveU>: I just wanted to eat you up.

<Ramenluvr>: congratulations, you're a freak. now shove off!

 

This couldn't be Neji. It didn't seem like the person he talked to last time at all. But if it wasn't him, then who the hell was it?

 

<IhaveU>: It's a shame you are wearing the jacket again already.

 

“What the hell!?” Naruto jumped up to look out the window, knocking over his chair in the process. He clutched the windowsill, his eyes flicking back and forth, trying to find some sign of somebody person watching him. It was dark out, and the street was empty. He didn't see anything, or anyone.

 

He went back to his computer.

 

Whoever `IhaveU' was, they had signed off.

 

“WHY ME?! he wailed.

 

---

 

Naruto hadn't gotten much sleep that night. He considered crashing at Sasuke's, and making a general pain out of himself in order to feel better, but he couldn't bear the thought of going outside where his stalkers might be able to get at him.

 

He pulled the curtains closed across his window, grabbed his blanket off the bed, and slept on the couch.

 

He woke up feeling tired and harried. Tired, harried, and late. He forgot about setting his alarm. He had just enough time to shower, and no time to eat. This was not going to be a good day.

 

He met Kiba on the way to the academy. Dog boy was running late too.

 

“Hey Naruto. You look like hell.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

Kiba of course, looked spry, and energetic. His wild brown hair looked artfully messy, and his red facial tattoos looked brighter than usual. He grinned engagingly.

 

“Tone it down a bit wouldya, Kiba?” Naruto muttered tiredly. “I haven't even had breakfast yet.”

 

“No worries, bro, I happen to have an extra poptart on me.”

 

“Ech.”

 

“Hey man - it's that or nothin'.”

 

“Ok, ok. I'll take it.” I just hope it's not straw -

 

“Strawberry, dude.” Kiba brandished the poptart at him. “Best Flava eva!”

 

Naruto took it and bit in miserably. He didn't even have the strength to give Kiba shit about his wildly fluctuating ways of speaking. Surfer, pot head, hoodlum, beatnik, someone in severe need of Ritalin, and the list goes on. Kiba probably did it to assuage his short attention span. It was one of his defining qualities.

 

---

 

“N-N-Naruto-kun?”

 

Naruto looked up.

 

“Y-Y-You w-were looking f-for me?”

 

Hinata was stuttering worse than usual. It was trying the fragile thread of his patience today. He smiled at her to try and alleviate the urge to yell `spit it out!'

 

“Yes, I was. I wanted to ask you about your cousin.”

 

She looked blankly at him.

 

The wind gusted through the trees in the courtyard.

 

“Your cousin Neji?” he prompted.

 

She flushed red and twiddled her fingers at an alarming rate. She looked uncomfortable. “W-W-What d-d-dd-do y-you w-w-want t-t-to know?”

 

Naruto reminded himself that she was the best person for him to question about the mighty Hyuuga, and that it wouldn't do to try and shake the words out of her. It might upset her even more, and he could barely understand her as it was. He tapped is fingers on the concrete bench that encircled one of the trees, doubling as a planter box, and counted to ten.

 

“Does Neji have a computer? I was wondering if he has aim… he's one of the only people I know that I don't have a screen name for.”

 

Hinata shook her head.

 

Naruto's brow furrowed. Damn. “Really? I thought everyone has a computer these days. I mean, even Sasuke does, and he's very traditional.”

 

Hinata stared at him, a blush starting to form on her pale cheeks as she looked at him.

 

Naruto tried to avoid eye contact.

 

“Does he write at all? I mean, like not papers for the academy and stuff?”

 

“Y-Yes.”

 

AHA! Progress! Maybe the Hyuuga used someone else's computer for his exploits.

 

Hinata's hand came up as if it were going to clap over her mouth. It stopped at the last instant, and instead, brushed a stray lock of hair back from her face.

 

“So he writes stories, huh?” Naruto barreled on. “What kind? Do you know?”

 

Hinata looked vaguely alarmed. “S-S-Stories? N-N-N-No, I m-meant he w-writes poetry.”

 

Poetry??? Hyuuga?

 

“Do you know where he was last night, Hinata?”

 

She paled and shook her head rapidly from side to side. “I'm s-sorry.”

 

“It's ok. Thanks anyway.”

 

Hinata nodded, and bowed, then took off at the fastest walk he'd ever seen the girl perform.

 

---

 

Hinata raced through the bright courtyard, and was turning a corner when someone grabbed her by the arm and swung her around.

 

Neji stood in front of her, the byakugan fading from his eyes.

 

He looked tall and imposing, and aristocratic, like a Grecian marble statue.

 

“He asked about me, didn't he?”

 

She nodded.

 

He looked smug, the small smile breaking the sternness of his face. “Just like I thought.”

 

He hadn't been near enough to listen, but he'd been able to read lips at that distance thanks to his eyes. Unfortunately, he was so focused on Naruto, he had no idea how Hinata had answered any of the blonde's questions.

 

“Hinata, tell me how you answered.” They had gone over what she should say in case Naruto asked her anything. Neji had judged the probability of such an occurrence as being too high to ignore. She babbled something like not wanting to deceive Naruto about anything, so he convinced her by assuring her that if she assisted him, he would make sure that Naruto didn't suddenly decide to hate her guts. He wasn't being mean. No. In fact, he was… sort of… fond of Hinata, she just had a rather tiresome way of stuttering through everything she tried to say. He wasn't the only one with limited patience for it. She really needed to kick the habit and grow a backbone, and he was willing to help her help herself. As it was, she was a bit of a disgrace to the Hyuuga name.

 

He spared an irritated glance for his cousin. “You told him I write poetry?

 

“I-I p-p-panicked. He asked if you w-write, and I m-messed up and s-said yes.”

 

“Oh, god help me,” he said tiredly. And what a mess up it was. Poetry.

 

 

Hinata tried to make her face blank, to keep her thoughts from showing. Why was she saddled with a genius shinobi for a cousin? One that seemed to have the hots for the guy she liked. It wasn't fair!

 

She consoled herself with the thought of getting to read Neji's newest masterpiece when she got home. He'd kindly made a version just for her - switching the names and editing it a bit so it would be Naruto and Kiba. She supposed Neji wasn't really so bad as a cousin after all.

 

---

 

A loud banging on the door pulled Sasuke's attention away from the computer screen with a muttered, “What now?”

 

He trudged across the landing, through the hallway, down the stairs, through the den, through the living room, and across the foyer to the front door. He briefly assessed his lack of proper attire, being clad in a dark grey t-shirt and grey cotton pants. They were clothes to be lounged in, not to be worn around company, but they were wrinkle-free nonetheless, and he looked damn good in anything he wore, so he decided it didn't matter and opened the door.

 

He'd barely gotten open, when a tan arm shot out and swung the door wide. A ball of depleted energy, in the form of Naruto, pushed past him into the sizey house.

 

“I'm staying here tonight,” he announced, dropping several bags to the floor and regarding Sasuke with a challenging expression.

 

“Okay,” Sasuke said slowly.

 

Naruto blinked at him. “You aren't going to argue?”

 

“Why should I? This house is enormous, and has more rooms than I could ever use. What do I care if you crash here?”

 

“It can't be just any room. It has to be yours.”

 

Sasuke felt his heart speed up just a bit though he wasn't sure why. Naruto was looking at him earnestly, determination blazing in his eyes. They looked so very dark compared to his light blonde hair - right now looking even darker with how widely they were dilated.

 

“Why my room?” he asked in a surly tone. “And I thought you wanted me to die by being suffocated by fangirls?”

 

“That was then,” Naruto said, as if that cleared anything up. The blonde was looking around shiftily, now he was closing and locking the door. He paused before turning around. “They're after me, Sasuke.”

 

“What are you talking about, who's after you?”

 

“Them!” Naruto cried, grabbing Sasuke by the shoulders. “They're after me, watching my every move! I need you to protect me!” The blonde's head fell forward onto Sasuke's chest.

 

Sasuke was about to push him off, but realized it wasn't entirely unpleasant to have his best friend/rival clutching to him as if he was the last hope on earth. In fact, he was mildly disturbed to discover he kind of liked it.

 

“Naruto,” he said blandly, “What could you possibly need protecting from?”

 

Watery blue eyes lifted up to meet his. “Stalkers,” he whispered.

 

Sasuke snorted. “Dobe, you're one of the strongest ninja in the village, and you can replicate yourself till the cows come home. What the hell are YOU worried about?”

 

Naruto unfisted his hands from Sasuke's shirt and laughed nervously. “You're right.” He puffed himself up. “Yeah. I can take anyone on.”

 

“Great.”

 

“But can I still stay here, Sasuke?” Naruto said in a rush. “Please? Just in case?”

 

“Uh sure.”

 

“You're the best, Sasuke!” Naruto cheered and hugged him tightly.

 

Sasuke had several things go through his head, none of which he was ready to admit to. Not even mentally.

 

 

_______________________________________________________