Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Everyone Else is Doing IT ❯ Out ( Chapter 4 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Everyone Else is Doing IT

(part 4)

SasuNaru

Naruto and Sasuke bond unconventionally over XXX Yaoi fanfiction. Neji turns out to have an interesting talent or two. Gaara is Gaara. Psychotic and unpredictable, with a penchant for black.

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“Psssst.”

Sasuke clenched his eyes shut, and tried to ignore the pestering noise that was trying to pry his reluctant mind into consciousness.

“Psssssssst.”

Sasuke pretended the noise was a potentially deadly gas leak - and ignored it.

“PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST! Sasuke, are you awake??”

Sasuke growled and flipped the blanked down off of his head. “YES. I am awake. How could I not be?!”

“Oh. Well, you sure seemed to be asleep…”

“Dobe, I am perilously close to beating you to death,” he hissed. “Now what the hell do you want?”

“I'm bored.”

Sasuke felt his energy ball up and leave him in a rush. As if to compensate for the sudden lack of adrenaline, his eye promptly started to twitch.

“Naruto… it's TWO IN THE MORNING! Go to sleep!”

“I can't.”

“What do you mean, you can't?” Sasuke snarled. He had the vague sense that he'd been dreaming about something really good before his rude awakening. He also suspected he had dreadful case of bed-head, which did nothing to improve his mood.

Naruto looked up from his sleeping bag on the floor. “I dunno. I just can't.” He stared at Sasuke and gave him his biggest baby blues. “Can I sleep with you?”

Sasuke spluttered. He also turned red, but it was dark enough that Naruto probably couldn't tell, which was a good thing because the blonde probably didn't mean that the way it sounded. Did he??

Before Sasuke knew it, his mattress rocked under the sudden weight of a bouncy, whisker-marked, idiot shinobi. He fell back as blue eyes abruptly filled his vision, his mind spinning dizzily. His heart started pounding madly as realized Naruto was hovering mere inches above him, a strange look in his heavy lidded eyes. All his previous irritation evaporated, replaced by an unsettled fluttering in the pit of his stomach.

“N-Naruto?” he said hesitantly.

“Hmmm?”

“Uh - What are you doing?”

“Mm nothing,” Naruto said glibly, and finished scooting to the side, and under the covers. He nestled deep into the sheets and sighed contentedly.

Sasuke was perplexed.

That just now… didn't make any sense. And it was the Dobe after all, so why was he expecting any of it to make sense?

He resigned himself to his fate, scooting back under the covers and trying to keep a respectable distance between him and his best friend/rival. It was a little hard to do, even with it being such a large bed. Naruto's limbs were everywhere. He pushed them out of the way, only to have them flop back into place. He glared at Naruto. The blonde was watching him with amusement.

Sasuke felt the urge to hit him and kiss him in equal quantities. The blonde was being dreadfully annoying, but that knowing smile was pulling him closer, tantalizing. “Dobe, stop it.”

“Stop what?” he asked, propping himself up on an elbow. Sasuke took that moment to notice Naruto wasn't wearing a shirt.

“Everything. I need some sleep.” His chest was muscled, but not overly so, his skin was as sun kissed there as it was on his cheeky little face. Naruto was looking at him as if he could see through Sasuke's shirt, and the sheets, and liked what he saw. Suddenly the bed felt extremely small. Sasuke jumped as a leg brushed against his.

“Stay on your side, or I'm kicking you out,” Sasuke said, trying to keep his voice even. This was getting to a point where he might soon have to admit something to himself. The question was, would it be before, during, or after he kissed the blonde senseless?

Naruto pouted. “But it's cold on the floor!”

“Use that as incentive.” No, the iron will of Uchiha was strong… it hadn't failed him yet. He would not kiss the idiot, and he most certainly was not going to jump his bones. Even if at the moment, he couldn't think of anything that sounded more enticing - which was what was wrong about this. SO wrong. So wrong…. But such a temptation…

Naruto yawned, “Fi~ne, Sasuke-teme.” He turned onto his side, away from Sasuke.

Sasuke found himself presented with the smooth expanse of Naruto's back. He bit his lip, and valiantly fought the urge to touch, to taste… What the HELL am I thinking? Sasuke quickly ended that perverse train of thought by flipping on his side, away from Naruto, trying to pretend he wasn't sharing his bed with the other boy, and telling himself he wasn't attracted to blonde idiots.

---

*knock* *knock* *knock*

Sasuke blearily opened his eyes.

*knock* *knock* *knock knock knock*

“What the hell?” he muttered.

As he tried to sit up, he noticed one of Naruto's legs was flung over his chest. The how and why of it escaped him. But no matter. He unceremoniously dumped the blonde off of him and onto the floor. A loud snore issued from the lump of limbs and blankets. Sasuke shook his head and made his way across the house, the knocking becoming more neurotically insistent with every passing minute.

Sasuke looked down at himself with distaste. He plucked at his grey shirt. One day with Naruto, and he'd acquired unsightly wrinkles. He shrugged, deciding that getting rid of this person was a necessary prerequisite to morning coffee. He really needed it today - he could barely walk without listing into things.

“SASUKE!” the caller squealed when he opened the door. He squinted against the sun and the noise, and the brutally pink blob of hair he could just barely make out.

“Sakura,” he replied.

“You're alive!” she screeched.

“Will wonders never cease,” he muttered under his breath.

Sasuke became more than a little irritated when she kept peering over and around him, into the depths of the house. “What do you want, Sakura?”

“Is Naruto here?”

“No.” He wasn't sure why he felt the need to lie about it except the thought of impeding whatever mission the girl was on pleased him greatly. That and for some reason, admitting the blonde was there seemed like a bad move.

“But - I just checked and he isn't at home.”

“So that means he must be here?” That's it. Throw her off the scent with the trademark Uchiha disdain.

“Well, why not? He said you were like best buddies or something now.”

“Naruto did?” He asked without thinking.

“Yeah, and he said that you'd be able to explain it better than he could.”

What was he supposed to say to that? Sasuke flailed for a convincing non-answer, wondering what Naruto had said to her. “I can't even explain it to myself.”

“Explain what?” Naruto asked, peering around Sasuke. “Oh, hi, Sakura!”

Sasuke jumped.

Sakura stared.

The pink haired girl's analytical mind swung into full gear. Naruto was wearing nothing but a pair of shorts he'd obviously slept in. His blonde hair was tousled, and so, now that she thought of it, was Sasuke's. “I thought you said Naruto wasn't here?” she said accusingly.

Sasuke floundered, running more than 10 different responses through his head before discarding them all. He settled for a glare.

“Is there something the two of you need to tell me?” Sakura asked shrewdly.

“Uh…” said Naruto, looking back and forth between the girl he used to like and the boy he wanted to jump. The latter of the two had an interesting combination of annoyance and startlement on his face. Maybe Sakura had figured out about the stalker? Well, that would be surprising. Eek. He hoped she didn't know who, and how it all got started… “Well, you see, Sakura-chan, it was sort of unexpected -”

“But,” Sasuke cut him off, “Naruto and I decided to work together on a taijutsu report, since he put it off long enough that it would eat into our training time.”

“Oh. I guess that makes sense…”

Sasuke breathed a sigh of relief. Thank god she bought that bald faced lie. Now he just needed to get rid of her, before she voiced the suspicions still written all over her face.

“What taijutsu report?” Naruto asked in confusion. “That's not -”

“- ever going to get done if you keep forgetting about it, Dobe.” Sasuke shot a look at Naruto, hoping he properly conveyed `shut the hell up, and stop sabotaging me!' and a handful of expletives with his pointed glare.

He turned to Sakura. “You see what I'm working with here? Now we really do have to work on this thing, so we'll see you later, ok?”

She stood, unmoving. “Did you guys sleep together?”

WHAT?! “No!”

“Yes,” Naruto said brightly at the same time.

Sasuke face-faulted.

He whipped his gaze on Naruto. Was he a complete moron? Or was something else going on in that mixed up head of his? He couldn't tell if the blonde was doing this to him on purpose, or really didn't understand Sakura's question. Regardless. “I can't deal with this,” he announced, retreating into the house. “Naruto,” he threw back, low enough that only the blonde would hear him, “talk to her, get rid of her, just don't let her in the house.”

Sasuke made his way to the kitchen, wanting nothing more than a cup of coffee and clothes that were immaculately pressed. Flawless attire was synonymous with Sasuke, and he liked it that way.

He dumped the coffee grounds into the pot, and set it to brew. While it worked itself up to a pleasing burbling noise, he considered at least grabbing a fresh change of clothes from upstairs. However, that was almost a 5 minute walk.

What was keeping Naruto so long? Surely even he could have gotten rid of Sakura by now…

He glanced at the glass carafe and almost a mugfull of coffee had trickled down, smelling wonderful. He waited a moment more, then poured the carafe's contents into a mug, praising the feature that allowed him to do so before the whole pot was ready.

Sasuke took a sip of coffee. It was dark and bitter, like life. He leaned back against the counter and closed his eyes, allowing the feel of steam caressing his face and the rich smell and taste to revive him.

“Ughhh, you drink it black?”

“Dobe,” he scoffed. “The other stuff muddies the taste.”

“Knowing you, you have it around anyway. Can I have a cup?”

“Help yourself.”

“How do you take your coffee, Sakura?”

Sasuke choked, and only barely managed to not spew coffee everywhere.

“I told you not to let her in here!”

He whipped around to see the pink menace staring about the place in awe. Probably evaluating what all of it was worth, and how she would make a perfect Uchiha wife.

“But it's common courtesy to invite your guests in,” Naruto said as if reciting it from a book he'd read somewhere.

“I'm not common, not courteous, and this is NOT your house!”

“But, Sasukeeeeeee~!”

“NO. Get out.” If the blonde couldn't follow ground rules, he wasn't allowed to stay.

Naruto gave him wavering blue eyes, laying it on thick. “But Saaaaasuke…”

“OUT.”

Sakura was watching this exchange with obvious interest as they were shuffled into the foyer.

“You too,” Sasuke added, looking at her.

“Are you always this cranky after getting some?” she asked.

He slammed the door in their faces.

---

Naruto pouted as he sat on the stoop. Sasuke wouldn't let him in, even after Sakura left. He wouldn't answer his phone either, Naruto suspected.

This was problematic.

Naruto was still clad in nothing but his boxer shorts, sitting outside on the stoop. He thought of bearing the indignity of it all, and running home. But, along with his clothes and cell phone, the keys to his apartment were also inside in Sasuke's room. Shit.

Shouting and beating on the door was starting to attract unwanted attention.

Naruto had an idea.

His boxers looked vaguely like swim trunks….

He walked around the Uchiha mansion until he found a hose, then he doused himself with it, shivering and cursing at how cold the water was. He was going to pretend he'd just been at the community pool. Yeah. Who cared if it was mid-October, and a bit cold for swimming? It was his only chance. Now he had to get to Kiba's.

---

Kiba wasn't home.

Neither was Shikamaru.

Naruto was wracked with shivers, but he dutifully re-doused himself each time to supplement his ruse.

Tired, cold and hungry, he passed his locked apartment on the way to Shino's. They weren't the best of friends but they'd helped each other out before. After that… who could he try if Shino wasn't home?

---

Naruto trudged back by his apartment to try at Ino's. Unfortunately, if he went there, this was all bound to get back to Sakura. He stopped walking. That would complicate everything. The girl loved to gossip.

“Naruto?”

Naruto turned at the sound of his name.

“Uh. Hi?”

“What are you doing out here… like that?”

“I was at the pool, buy I uh- forgot my keys and kinda locked myself out.”

“That is unfortunate.” Neji paused. “Perhaps I could loan you a change of clothes, until you get this sorted out?”

Naruto's stomach rumbled.

“And a meal as well,” he added.

“Uh- that's not necces- aaACHOO!” Naruto's body broke out in goosebumps after he sneezed, and his stomach growled.

Neji looked at him blandly.

“Well, ok… if you insist.” Neji might not be the stalker, right?

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TBC

A/N:

hahaha, naruto, you dope XD

apologies to anyone expecting h.o.t. sasuke on naruto action this chapter.

it will happen. be patient. i never write anything on the straight and narrow.

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R&R please

Let me know if you are liking this?

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Japanese usage-

Some of the terms I use, or will use, are so common, I don't even really think about using them. But then I remember how some people are watching Naruto via the English dub (*CoughsplutterDies*) and some people have only read the manga, and some people don't know anything about it except for what they got from reading a few fics…

SO! FOR THE FIRST AND ONLY TIME. Here are the terms:

-san: added to the end of a name, it is the equivalent of Mr. or Mrs./Ms./Miss., polite

-kun: added to the end of a name, it is like `-san' only less formal. Used between people who know each other a bit better than average (although with close friends, etc, this would be dropped.)

-chan: added to the end of a name, it is often used between close friends (though sometimes family members, etc as well), and is seen to be rather `cute' though it is almost exclusively used to refer to girls. Naruto uses this way of addressing Sakura, even though they are not close, because he wishes they were close, since he likes/liked her. This of course, pisses her off, but he doesn't seem to notice. Then he got the hots for Sasuke somewhere along the line, and he just refers to her this way out of habit XD

-teme: you bastard. Naruto also calls Sasuke `Sasuke-teme' sometimes, which boils down to Sasuke-bastard. My, Naruto is a colorful one, isn't he?

Ichiraku's: A Ramen shop, Naruto's favorite restaurant. Japanese ramen is quite a different animal compared to those little $0.29 packets we eat (It can have meat, and vegetables, etc. like any other soup). Naruto likes the instant kind as well, just not as much.

-Sharingan: Red spinny eye(s). With powers. Ha. Ok, but they let you see things almost ahead of time, like a kick before it lands. In just enough time to react, dodge whatever. Like precognition. Most other ninjas find this ability to be pesky. This is a bloodline limit for the Uchiha clan, and many of them got a little full of themselves over it. Could be why someone decided to wipe them all out - except for Sasuke. He was just so darned CUTE when he was little! (That, and he wasn't at home when it happened.)

-Bloodline limit: Special skills or abilities that pass from generation to generation, within a certain family or clan. These things cannot be `learned' by ninja from outside groups. Like, if you have brown hair, you can't learn to make yourself a true blond or redhead just by trying. Even if you can sometimes fake it.

-Byakugan: Hyuuga bloodline limit. (Neji and Hinata both have this.) Often accompanied by very, very pale blue eyes that appear to be without pupils. Freaky. When invoked, this ability allows you to hyper focus, sometimes over great distances, on an object, person, etc. Excellent for scouting ahead on missions. Somehow, its users can see through trees and the like, but it is unknown whether they also see through everyones' clothes.

-Taijutsu: “Kick, punch, it's all in the mind!” *cough* This is essentially hand-to hand combat. Lee's specialty, since he doesn't have any special ninja powers. T_T poor kid. All ninja train in this area, as well as in flashy supercool ninja moves that make things `splode or require a bunch of fancy sign language (a.k.a. handseals).

-seme/uke: I already explained this, but here it is in the most simplified version possible. Seme = top. Uke = bottom. Though you can have uke with more kickassedness then their semes. Gender roles do not apply here unless you want them to. I don't want. I like to keep my boyz on even ground, where top or bottom is switched up easily between the two. Pitching, catching… it's all good.

I think that is everything I've used. If not, well, Wikipedia can assist you. I'm out.