Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Fetish? What's A Fetish? ❯ Sapphic Femme, Pt. 2 ( Chapter 9 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Serac 
Purple is a color best worn by no one.
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 02.06.2007 | Pages: 3 | Words: 3.8K | Visits: 1.4K | Status: Work In Progress
Purple is a color best worn by no one.
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 02.06.2007 | Pages: 3 | Words: 3.8K | Visits: 1.4K | Status: Work In Progress
-----Author’s note: Thanks to all who have reviewed! Three hundred + reviews now, and I hope to keep going strong. Also, thank you everyone who’s put this in a C2 or a favorites list. It really does inspire me to keep kicking grammatical ass and laying down the law, humor-wise. Well I try, anyway. I do not own Naruto, but any other characters and ideas are my own. Enjoy.....-----
“Are you ready for this?”
“.....No.”
“.....Me neither.”
“Come on, it’s not gonna be that hard!”
“Something’s gonna get hard.....”
“What are you talking about?”
Ino punched the side of Naruto’s head, knocking him straight onto his side, “I’m talking about you, you smartass!” The three ninja were standing on the outskirts of the little town where the shoot was to take place. It was a little after noon, and Naruto was ready to go. The girls, however, were reluctant to even look at the place.
Sakura shivered a little bit, realizing that not only was she going to have to.....do some things.....with Ino, but that Naruto was actually going to see! The people who read the magazine, nasty bastards in her opinion, wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between her and Ino and the two they were replacing, so Naruto and Tsunade would be the only ones who knew what they were doing.....
“Naruto,” The pink-haired girl spoke, “I don’t want you to be at the shoot!”
The blonde hopped back to his feet, rubbing the side of his head as he waved his other arm around above his head, “But Sakura-chan, I have to watch out for the stalker! This is my mission, too!”
Once Ino had punched him back to the ground, Sakura continued, “No, it’s not. Your mission is to go and eat as much ramen as you can!” She dumped out all of the money she had with her onto the boy, who grinned stupidly from the ground as he started to daydream about eating all day. She looked to Ino to do the same, but the blonde girl had no intention of throwing her money away, so she lied, instead.
“Tsunade didn’t tell you because she didn’t want to upset you, but when she was whispering to us, she told us that the stalker has been prowling around ramen stands, stealing the food and throwing it away, just for kicks.”
Sakura’s mouth opened to say something biting at Ino for being so stupid, but Naruto beat her to talking, “WHAT!? NO WAY! I’LL GET THE BASTARD FOR SURE!”
-
“Damn, Naruto, you’re too simple.....” Jiraiya sighed, shaking his head in disappointment, “But I suppose it can’t be helped. Your stomach is more important to you than anything else you’ve got. But this is fate, you can’t escape the photo shoot. If I have to intervene, so be it.....”
-
And so, the group of three ninjas disbanded, one to go get some ramen and kick some stalker ass, the other two to perform soft core porn, and acts they hoped never to perform ever again. .....With each other.
Naruto strode happily along the streets, passing people who greeted him warmly, smiles and winks. It was great! He remembered all too well that not too long ago, the people in his village shunned and despised him. They were warming up to the boy at their own rates, but in this place, no one had any reason to dislike him, at all! As far as they were concerned, he was just a regular blonde guy looking for a place to eat. Little did they know, they were looking at the next Hokage!
The boy, grinning to himself as he envisioned his future filled with grandeur, stepped into a ramen stand and sat himself down. He was surprised at how crowded it was. By women, mostly. Actually, upon further inspection of his ramen loving company, he found that he was the only male in the vicinity. Huh, weird.
Thinking about it, everyone he had passed on his way to the stand he now found himself in had been a woman. To go along with their smiles and waves, he had also come across a hefty amount of winks and blown kisses, too. .....When he thought about it, during the past few minutes he had received enough butt pats that he felt more than qualified to become a professional football player. And then some.
Something about this place was different, but he didn’t know what it was, exactly. Even back in his own village, Sasuke had never been patted on the butt by more than three people per time he walked down the street, so these people were a lot nicer than the people in his village. That must be it, what else could it be?
That was when Naruto found that he had been wrong about his assumption that he was the only male in the ramen stand, as the proprietor approached him from across the counter, “And what can I get for you today, sir?”
Naruto looked the balding guy over, kind of surprised to find that he bore a stunning resemblance to..... “Mr. Ichiraku?”
“I’m sorry, do I know you?” The owner asked pleasantly, looking the boy up and down as though he might have seen him somewhere before now.
“It’s me! Naruto! What are you doing out here instead of back at the stand back in Konoha?” Naruto was waving his arms around, worried that Ayame might not be able to hold the stand together by herself! What if it went under while Mr. Ichiraku was gone? He wasn’t even there to help, himself! Oh, God, this was bad!
“Konoha? Oh! You must be talking about my brother!” The man laughed, patting the frantic boy on the head to calm him down.
“B-Brother?”
“Yes! Me and my brothers own ramen stands around the world. It’s sort of our trade, you see. Wherever you go, you’re likely to find an Ichiraku ramen stand!”
“Wow.....How many brothers do you have?” The blonde couldn’t help but ask.
“Oh, last I remember it was something like four thousand and seven, I believe.....”
“WHAT? That’s not even possible!”
Ichiraku shrugged, looking over his shoulder to call out, “Ayane!”
Naruto blinked a couple of times as he sat there, “Aya.....‘ne’?”
No sooner had the sound of his voice faded away did a girl who looked exactly like Ayame peek her head around from the back and ask sweetly, “What is it?”
“How many brothers do I have, again?” The man asked, turning his back to Naruto to look at the girl.
Ayane lifted a finger to her chin in thought, “I think it’s.....four thousand and eight, isn’t it?”
“No, it’s seven, not eight.....”
“Oh, you’re right, seven. Masashi just passed away, I forgot. Is that all?”
“That’s all, that’s all,” Mr. Ichiraku number two waved Ayane off, turning his attention back to Naruto, “See? I told you.”
Shaking his head in disbelief, Naruto asked, “Do you have a picture of all of them?”
“Do I have a picture of all of them? Together in one shot? Of course I don’t, are you kidding me?”
Naruto jumped as a girl pinched his bottom while passing, rubbing the aforementioned spot as he grinned goofily at the stand owner, “Geez, people sure are nice around here, aren’t they?”
All while laughing to himself, Mr. Ichiraku looked around at all of the pretty women filling his stand and the streets outside, “Speaking of pictures, do you by any chance know anything about the photo shoot ‘Sapphic Femme’ is doing here, today? That’s why there are so many women around, they’re here for that!”
“Yes I do! That’s actually why I’m here, too.....”
“Wow, how old are you?” The man asked, a little surprised that the boy had answered like that.
“Why does that matter? I actually brought two of the people who are going to be in the shoot! Speaking of, do you know anything about a ramen stand stalker?”
The man’s mouth was wide open, now, as he gawked at the boy in disbelief, “Y-You don’t say? From Konoha, huh?” He ignored the odd question about a stalker, “.....Could I maybe.....I don’t know.....Meet them? You know, sometime?”
“Sakura-chan and Ino?” It was at this point that Naruto began to think that maybe he was in an interesting position. From the look on his face Mr. Ichiraku really wanted to meet Sakura and Ino. That could only mean one thing: Free ramen! “I’ll introduce you to them later if you set me up with a free lunch!”
“Hang on a minute, how do I know you’re telling the truth?” The man asked, a little wary about handing out free meals on someone’s word, alone.
“I have a picture I could show you of them.....” Naruto fished out his frog wallet, then stuck his hand in to pull out a picture of himself with all of his friends, Ino and Sakura among them. He pointed the two girls out to Mr. Ichiraku, who immediately recognized the two, having read ‘Sapphic Femme’ before and seeing them.
“My God, you weren’t kidding! Naruto-kun, I’ll set you up with free ramen for a year if you can arrange a night with them, for me! Are you their manager? .....Naruto-kun?” Much to Mr. Ichiraku’s dismay, Naruto had blacked out upon hearing ‘Free ramen for a year’. The boy was quickly set upon by the multitude of women present for the ‘Sapphic Femme’ photo shoot, several of them finding a cute new pimp, having overheard Naruto’s conversation.....
-
“Are you ready for this?”
“.....No.”
“.....Me neither.”
Sakura and Ino were in their changing room, staring at the clothes they would soon be wearing. If you can call them clothes. Sakura had, typically enough, a nurse’s outfit that looked like it had come straight from Sluts-R-Us. Not only was it impressively see through for clothing, but the lingerie straps and frills just kind of killed her will to live. That little nurse’s cap with the red cross on it was kind of pissing her off, too.
But if Sakura was having a tough time dealing with her wardrobe, Ino was having a crisis with hers. All she got were some really small furry black panties with a long black tail, what appeared to be two stickers, and cat ears. If one word could describe her trepidation, anger, and embarrassment, it would have to be magnapissed. Ino was magnapissed.
“I say we forget the mission, and just leave the village forever. You with me?” Sakura ventured to go MIA with her close friend and rival, already considering new names.
“We can’t. Sasuke-kun’s back in the village.....”
“Sasuke-kun’s never going to be interested in us until we get sex changes, Ino! We should just give up!” The genin let her head droop in defeat as she spoke.
Sighing, Ino replied, “That’s not true, actually. Naruto and I, while you were still in the hospital, we.....”
Raising her head, hope and fear in her eyes, Sakura pressed, “‘We’ what?”
“It’s been taken care of, Sasuke-kun won’t be gay by the time we get back. Actually, he should be getting out right about now.....”
“Getting out of where?” The one who didn’t know what was going on was quickly becoming frightened by what she was hearing. Or, more accurately, not hearing.
Ino shook her head, “No, don’t worry about it. You just have to know that we need to do this, or Tsunade’s going to damn both us, as far as Sasuke-kun’s concerned.....Because of that promise we made with Naruto.....”
“P-Promise? You mean the.....the ‘light practice’?”
Ino nodded.
“Oh my God, I had completely forgotten about that! Oh God, oh God, oh God, freaking nasty! .....Maybe he’s forgotten about it!” Sakura suggested loudly, thrusting a finger into the air.
“He’s a guy!”
“He’s a Naruto!”
“You’re not making any sense, girl!” Ino slapped Sakura across the face, “We told him we’d teach him about sex with a little bit of practice! Do you think it’s possible that any living, breathing male would forget something like that? NO! IT’S NOT! WE HAVE TO DO IT!” She found herself screaming near the end, tears streaming down her face, “Think of what might happen if we don’t!”
“He might tell Sasuke-kun we promised! He’ll think we’re lying skanks!” Sakura started to cry, too, throwing her arms around Ino, “But if we DO do it, he still might tell Sasuke-kun about it and he’ll think we’re easy skanks! What have we done?”
“I don’t know!” Ino bawled into Sakura’s shoulder.
“And then they kiss.....” Someone said from the doorway. The two girls turned to see who it was, both rather perplexed by the man looking in at them, “I was just kidding, geez! Look at me like that.....Five minutes ‘till you’re up, so get changed!”
The girls nodded, still holding onto each other.
Tokunaga sighed, mumbling to himself as he turned and walked away, “I can’t believe I’m here. I need a new agent, this one’s a goddamned pervert.....I’m above this......”
-
His head pounding, Naruto opened his eyes very slowly, the light from above not doing much to help his headache. He was.....lying on the ground? He very slowly sat up, a ring of women that had been around him backing up to give him a little space. He looked around, wondering what the hell had happened. He was right in front of a bar stool.....had he fallen off of it? That would explain the throbbing pain in his head. He noticed a pile of orange clothes right beside him. He then noticed them as his own!
“What the.....” But he wasn’t naked, no. Actually, he was wearing clothes that looked exactly like his old clothes, only they were purple, “Why am I wearing purple?”
“I don’t know,” Mr. Ichiraku admitted, looking down at him from behind the counter, “You passed out, and before I knew it, these girls here were stripping you down and putting you in purple clothes! Strangest thing.....”
He stood up, and felt something bump against the stool as he did. Reaching up, our young friend found a pointlessly large purple hat on his head, a large white feather protruding from the top. Before he could ask ‘What the hell is this ridiculous thing doing on my head?’, a pretty girl handed him a cane topped with a big chunk of glass fashioned to look like a diamond. .....At least, he hoped it was glass.
“I took this from Kareem after Marcus iced him,” The girl explained, “I think he’d want you to have it.”
Not sure what the hell any of that meant, Naruto just sort of nodded a little bit, looking around for a way to get out of this nuthouse. He found an opening, but was stopped before eh could move by the presentation of another item.
A gigantic golden necklace was looped over his neck, bearing a diamond studded dollar sign. He had to lean over a little bit because he found it to be rather heavy, and standing up straight was proving to be somewhat difficult.
“And now, you are complete!” The girl who had given him the bling stated proudly, putting her hands on her hips.
Naruto looked himself over as best he could without a mirror, then stated, “You girls have the wrong guy. Sasuke’s gay, not me.”
“Gay? Oh, hell no, boyfriend!” One of the women laughed, “We heard you was a manager for two of the girls in the Sapphic photo shoot, so we signing you up as our new agent.”
“A what?” The blonde asked, perplexed.
“I think they want you to be their pimp, Naruto-kun,” Mr. Ichiraku whispered to the boy, leaning over the counter.
“What’s a pimp?” He whispered back hurriedly.
“They want you to sell their.....services.....to buyers.....and such. You get royalties, which basically means you get a cut, so long as you find them work. .....Since we’re pals, now, can I get a discount?” The man whispered his answer and request back to Naruto, who frowned.
“Uh, well, I don’t really know if you girls are, uh, worth my time, so I think that.....uh.....” He was pretty confused. Why would they want him to sell their work so that he could keep some of the money? That didn’t make any sense. He didn’t even know what any of them did! Oh, that was it! Thinking saves the day, again!
“I know! To see if you’re even worth selling, I’ll test one of you!” He scanned the group of women over, then picked out a cute brunette that reminded him a little bit of Tenten, “You!” He pointed to her, “What do you usually do?”
The girl shrugged, “Blow jobs, mostly.”
“Perfect! I could use that right now!”
Several of the women grinned at the boy’s eagerness, and the brunette was quickly in front of him and on her knees, but Naruto simply ignored her and hopped up onto the stool, “Old man, get me a really hot bowl of ramen so we can see just how good at blowing this girl is!”
The man tilted his head to the side, wondering just what was happening. Was his stand the site for some sort of twisted comedy, or a very poorly designed pornography script? Something was definitely weird about this mess.
“Someone, help!” A cracking female voice called out, “Someone’s stealing ramen and throwing it all over the ground at the Sapphic photo shoot! Oh my God, it’s horrible!”
“What the hell is that ho crying for?” One of the women asked raising an eyebrow. She turned to ask her new agent, but Naruto was already gone, dead set on protecting the honor of the fallen ramen, and to protect any other noodles he was too late to save.....
-
Jiraiya snickered fiendishly to himself, proud that he could manipulate his voice well enough to convince people it was a woman! “I’m such a sneaky bastard,” He gave himself a pat on the back, “Now Naruto will witness something that will bring him over to the dark side.....Ha.....Ha, ha.....Mwuhahahahaha!” He let his evil laughter rise up to the heavens, drawing several confused stares by various attractive women.
Then Jiraiya realized something: He was wasting his time on Naruto while hundreds of beautiful women were gathered in a small vicinity for a lesbian magazine’s photo shoot! What the hell was he doing!? Naruto quickly fell to the back burner as Jiraiya hurried to get himself some booty, like the perverted bastard he was.
-
“Where are you, ramen stalker!?” Naruto hissed as he stomped onto the photo shoot. Security came at him like they were going to shoo him away, but when they saw Kareem’s cane, they knew that this kid must definitely be a part of the Sapphic ring, and quickly backed off. Damn, they just kept getting younger and younger.
“There, like that! Good, good, keep it going, keep it going, the camera loves you! Oh my God, I love you! Don’t stop.....Ok, now her neck.....Good, good! I love this, it’s like you’re two different people, today! Keep it up, keep it up!”
Naruto listened to the annoyingly high pitched voice of someone as they continued to coax someone else on. Actually, by hearing his comment about them being ‘two different people’, our young hero came to the conclusion that the annoying voice man must be talking to Sakura and Ino! Yay thinking! His mind momentarily losing track of the alleged ramen stalker, he followed the voice and took a peek out at the set before him.
That was when it happened. What he saw will forever be burned into the ninja’s mind. Sakura and Ino were indeed the ones the man was talking to, all whilst taking pictures of them and telling them other things to do, which they promptly and accurately did. While watching this, Naruto began to feel something odd from down below, which frightened him to no end. There was no way that he.....but if THAT was happening when he saw this.....two people of the same gender, two girls.....watching them do those things.....made THAT happen to him?
“Oh my God.....” Naruto whispered to himself, backing away, “I’M GAY!”
-----Author’s other note: Just so there’s no confusion for some of you, Naruto thinks he’s gay because he’s turned on at watching two people of the same sex (Ino and Sakura) going at it. Yes, his definition of ‘gay’ is a little off. Yay misunderstandings! My favorite.
Also, I gave Dark lord Tokunaga a little scene in there, because he always reviews all of my stuff, whether I deserve it or not! If he doesn’t like it, I guess I could take it out, but still, I thought I’d offer it. It’s different for Fanfiction.net (As no one would recognize him), but still.
Thanks for reading.....-----
“Are you ready for this?”
“.....No.”
“.....Me neither.”
“Come on, it’s not gonna be that hard!”
“Something’s gonna get hard.....”
“What are you talking about?”
Ino punched the side of Naruto’s head, knocking him straight onto his side, “I’m talking about you, you smartass!” The three ninja were standing on the outskirts of the little town where the shoot was to take place. It was a little after noon, and Naruto was ready to go. The girls, however, were reluctant to even look at the place.
Sakura shivered a little bit, realizing that not only was she going to have to.....do some things.....with Ino, but that Naruto was actually going to see! The people who read the magazine, nasty bastards in her opinion, wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between her and Ino and the two they were replacing, so Naruto and Tsunade would be the only ones who knew what they were doing.....
“Naruto,” The pink-haired girl spoke, “I don’t want you to be at the shoot!”
The blonde hopped back to his feet, rubbing the side of his head as he waved his other arm around above his head, “But Sakura-chan, I have to watch out for the stalker! This is my mission, too!”
Once Ino had punched him back to the ground, Sakura continued, “No, it’s not. Your mission is to go and eat as much ramen as you can!” She dumped out all of the money she had with her onto the boy, who grinned stupidly from the ground as he started to daydream about eating all day. She looked to Ino to do the same, but the blonde girl had no intention of throwing her money away, so she lied, instead.
“Tsunade didn’t tell you because she didn’t want to upset you, but when she was whispering to us, she told us that the stalker has been prowling around ramen stands, stealing the food and throwing it away, just for kicks.”
Sakura’s mouth opened to say something biting at Ino for being so stupid, but Naruto beat her to talking, “WHAT!? NO WAY! I’LL GET THE BASTARD FOR SURE!”
-
“Damn, Naruto, you’re too simple.....” Jiraiya sighed, shaking his head in disappointment, “But I suppose it can’t be helped. Your stomach is more important to you than anything else you’ve got. But this is fate, you can’t escape the photo shoot. If I have to intervene, so be it.....”
-
And so, the group of three ninjas disbanded, one to go get some ramen and kick some stalker ass, the other two to perform soft core porn, and acts they hoped never to perform ever again. .....With each other.
Naruto strode happily along the streets, passing people who greeted him warmly, smiles and winks. It was great! He remembered all too well that not too long ago, the people in his village shunned and despised him. They were warming up to the boy at their own rates, but in this place, no one had any reason to dislike him, at all! As far as they were concerned, he was just a regular blonde guy looking for a place to eat. Little did they know, they were looking at the next Hokage!
The boy, grinning to himself as he envisioned his future filled with grandeur, stepped into a ramen stand and sat himself down. He was surprised at how crowded it was. By women, mostly. Actually, upon further inspection of his ramen loving company, he found that he was the only male in the vicinity. Huh, weird.
Thinking about it, everyone he had passed on his way to the stand he now found himself in had been a woman. To go along with their smiles and waves, he had also come across a hefty amount of winks and blown kisses, too. .....When he thought about it, during the past few minutes he had received enough butt pats that he felt more than qualified to become a professional football player. And then some.
Something about this place was different, but he didn’t know what it was, exactly. Even back in his own village, Sasuke had never been patted on the butt by more than three people per time he walked down the street, so these people were a lot nicer than the people in his village. That must be it, what else could it be?
That was when Naruto found that he had been wrong about his assumption that he was the only male in the ramen stand, as the proprietor approached him from across the counter, “And what can I get for you today, sir?”
Naruto looked the balding guy over, kind of surprised to find that he bore a stunning resemblance to..... “Mr. Ichiraku?”
“I’m sorry, do I know you?” The owner asked pleasantly, looking the boy up and down as though he might have seen him somewhere before now.
“It’s me! Naruto! What are you doing out here instead of back at the stand back in Konoha?” Naruto was waving his arms around, worried that Ayame might not be able to hold the stand together by herself! What if it went under while Mr. Ichiraku was gone? He wasn’t even there to help, himself! Oh, God, this was bad!
“Konoha? Oh! You must be talking about my brother!” The man laughed, patting the frantic boy on the head to calm him down.
“B-Brother?”
“Yes! Me and my brothers own ramen stands around the world. It’s sort of our trade, you see. Wherever you go, you’re likely to find an Ichiraku ramen stand!”
“Wow.....How many brothers do you have?” The blonde couldn’t help but ask.
“Oh, last I remember it was something like four thousand and seven, I believe.....”
“WHAT? That’s not even possible!”
Ichiraku shrugged, looking over his shoulder to call out, “Ayane!”
Naruto blinked a couple of times as he sat there, “Aya.....‘ne’?”
No sooner had the sound of his voice faded away did a girl who looked exactly like Ayame peek her head around from the back and ask sweetly, “What is it?”
“How many brothers do I have, again?” The man asked, turning his back to Naruto to look at the girl.
Ayane lifted a finger to her chin in thought, “I think it’s.....four thousand and eight, isn’t it?”
“No, it’s seven, not eight.....”
“Oh, you’re right, seven. Masashi just passed away, I forgot. Is that all?”
“That’s all, that’s all,” Mr. Ichiraku number two waved Ayane off, turning his attention back to Naruto, “See? I told you.”
Shaking his head in disbelief, Naruto asked, “Do you have a picture of all of them?”
“Do I have a picture of all of them? Together in one shot? Of course I don’t, are you kidding me?”
Naruto jumped as a girl pinched his bottom while passing, rubbing the aforementioned spot as he grinned goofily at the stand owner, “Geez, people sure are nice around here, aren’t they?”
All while laughing to himself, Mr. Ichiraku looked around at all of the pretty women filling his stand and the streets outside, “Speaking of pictures, do you by any chance know anything about the photo shoot ‘Sapphic Femme’ is doing here, today? That’s why there are so many women around, they’re here for that!”
“Yes I do! That’s actually why I’m here, too.....”
“Wow, how old are you?” The man asked, a little surprised that the boy had answered like that.
“Why does that matter? I actually brought two of the people who are going to be in the shoot! Speaking of, do you know anything about a ramen stand stalker?”
The man’s mouth was wide open, now, as he gawked at the boy in disbelief, “Y-You don’t say? From Konoha, huh?” He ignored the odd question about a stalker, “.....Could I maybe.....I don’t know.....Meet them? You know, sometime?”
“Sakura-chan and Ino?” It was at this point that Naruto began to think that maybe he was in an interesting position. From the look on his face Mr. Ichiraku really wanted to meet Sakura and Ino. That could only mean one thing: Free ramen! “I’ll introduce you to them later if you set me up with a free lunch!”
“Hang on a minute, how do I know you’re telling the truth?” The man asked, a little wary about handing out free meals on someone’s word, alone.
“I have a picture I could show you of them.....” Naruto fished out his frog wallet, then stuck his hand in to pull out a picture of himself with all of his friends, Ino and Sakura among them. He pointed the two girls out to Mr. Ichiraku, who immediately recognized the two, having read ‘Sapphic Femme’ before and seeing them.
“My God, you weren’t kidding! Naruto-kun, I’ll set you up with free ramen for a year if you can arrange a night with them, for me! Are you their manager? .....Naruto-kun?” Much to Mr. Ichiraku’s dismay, Naruto had blacked out upon hearing ‘Free ramen for a year’. The boy was quickly set upon by the multitude of women present for the ‘Sapphic Femme’ photo shoot, several of them finding a cute new pimp, having overheard Naruto’s conversation.....
-
“Are you ready for this?”
“.....No.”
“.....Me neither.”
Sakura and Ino were in their changing room, staring at the clothes they would soon be wearing. If you can call them clothes. Sakura had, typically enough, a nurse’s outfit that looked like it had come straight from Sluts-R-Us. Not only was it impressively see through for clothing, but the lingerie straps and frills just kind of killed her will to live. That little nurse’s cap with the red cross on it was kind of pissing her off, too.
But if Sakura was having a tough time dealing with her wardrobe, Ino was having a crisis with hers. All she got were some really small furry black panties with a long black tail, what appeared to be two stickers, and cat ears. If one word could describe her trepidation, anger, and embarrassment, it would have to be magnapissed. Ino was magnapissed.
“I say we forget the mission, and just leave the village forever. You with me?” Sakura ventured to go MIA with her close friend and rival, already considering new names.
“We can’t. Sasuke-kun’s back in the village.....”
“Sasuke-kun’s never going to be interested in us until we get sex changes, Ino! We should just give up!” The genin let her head droop in defeat as she spoke.
Sighing, Ino replied, “That’s not true, actually. Naruto and I, while you were still in the hospital, we.....”
Raising her head, hope and fear in her eyes, Sakura pressed, “‘We’ what?”
“It’s been taken care of, Sasuke-kun won’t be gay by the time we get back. Actually, he should be getting out right about now.....”
“Getting out of where?” The one who didn’t know what was going on was quickly becoming frightened by what she was hearing. Or, more accurately, not hearing.
Ino shook her head, “No, don’t worry about it. You just have to know that we need to do this, or Tsunade’s going to damn both us, as far as Sasuke-kun’s concerned.....Because of that promise we made with Naruto.....”
“P-Promise? You mean the.....the ‘light practice’?”
Ino nodded.
“Oh my God, I had completely forgotten about that! Oh God, oh God, oh God, freaking nasty! .....Maybe he’s forgotten about it!” Sakura suggested loudly, thrusting a finger into the air.
“He’s a guy!”
“He’s a Naruto!”
“You’re not making any sense, girl!” Ino slapped Sakura across the face, “We told him we’d teach him about sex with a little bit of practice! Do you think it’s possible that any living, breathing male would forget something like that? NO! IT’S NOT! WE HAVE TO DO IT!” She found herself screaming near the end, tears streaming down her face, “Think of what might happen if we don’t!”
“He might tell Sasuke-kun we promised! He’ll think we’re lying skanks!” Sakura started to cry, too, throwing her arms around Ino, “But if we DO do it, he still might tell Sasuke-kun about it and he’ll think we’re easy skanks! What have we done?”
“I don’t know!” Ino bawled into Sakura’s shoulder.
“And then they kiss.....” Someone said from the doorway. The two girls turned to see who it was, both rather perplexed by the man looking in at them, “I was just kidding, geez! Look at me like that.....Five minutes ‘till you’re up, so get changed!”
The girls nodded, still holding onto each other.
Tokunaga sighed, mumbling to himself as he turned and walked away, “I can’t believe I’m here. I need a new agent, this one’s a goddamned pervert.....I’m above this......”
-
His head pounding, Naruto opened his eyes very slowly, the light from above not doing much to help his headache. He was.....lying on the ground? He very slowly sat up, a ring of women that had been around him backing up to give him a little space. He looked around, wondering what the hell had happened. He was right in front of a bar stool.....had he fallen off of it? That would explain the throbbing pain in his head. He noticed a pile of orange clothes right beside him. He then noticed them as his own!
“What the.....” But he wasn’t naked, no. Actually, he was wearing clothes that looked exactly like his old clothes, only they were purple, “Why am I wearing purple?”
“I don’t know,” Mr. Ichiraku admitted, looking down at him from behind the counter, “You passed out, and before I knew it, these girls here were stripping you down and putting you in purple clothes! Strangest thing.....”
He stood up, and felt something bump against the stool as he did. Reaching up, our young friend found a pointlessly large purple hat on his head, a large white feather protruding from the top. Before he could ask ‘What the hell is this ridiculous thing doing on my head?’, a pretty girl handed him a cane topped with a big chunk of glass fashioned to look like a diamond. .....At least, he hoped it was glass.
“I took this from Kareem after Marcus iced him,” The girl explained, “I think he’d want you to have it.”
Not sure what the hell any of that meant, Naruto just sort of nodded a little bit, looking around for a way to get out of this nuthouse. He found an opening, but was stopped before eh could move by the presentation of another item.
A gigantic golden necklace was looped over his neck, bearing a diamond studded dollar sign. He had to lean over a little bit because he found it to be rather heavy, and standing up straight was proving to be somewhat difficult.
“And now, you are complete!” The girl who had given him the bling stated proudly, putting her hands on her hips.
Naruto looked himself over as best he could without a mirror, then stated, “You girls have the wrong guy. Sasuke’s gay, not me.”
“Gay? Oh, hell no, boyfriend!” One of the women laughed, “We heard you was a manager for two of the girls in the Sapphic photo shoot, so we signing you up as our new agent.”
“A what?” The blonde asked, perplexed.
“I think they want you to be their pimp, Naruto-kun,” Mr. Ichiraku whispered to the boy, leaning over the counter.
“What’s a pimp?” He whispered back hurriedly.
“They want you to sell their.....services.....to buyers.....and such. You get royalties, which basically means you get a cut, so long as you find them work. .....Since we’re pals, now, can I get a discount?” The man whispered his answer and request back to Naruto, who frowned.
“Uh, well, I don’t really know if you girls are, uh, worth my time, so I think that.....uh.....” He was pretty confused. Why would they want him to sell their work so that he could keep some of the money? That didn’t make any sense. He didn’t even know what any of them did! Oh, that was it! Thinking saves the day, again!
“I know! To see if you’re even worth selling, I’ll test one of you!” He scanned the group of women over, then picked out a cute brunette that reminded him a little bit of Tenten, “You!” He pointed to her, “What do you usually do?”
The girl shrugged, “Blow jobs, mostly.”
“Perfect! I could use that right now!”
Several of the women grinned at the boy’s eagerness, and the brunette was quickly in front of him and on her knees, but Naruto simply ignored her and hopped up onto the stool, “Old man, get me a really hot bowl of ramen so we can see just how good at blowing this girl is!”
The man tilted his head to the side, wondering just what was happening. Was his stand the site for some sort of twisted comedy, or a very poorly designed pornography script? Something was definitely weird about this mess.
“Someone, help!” A cracking female voice called out, “Someone’s stealing ramen and throwing it all over the ground at the Sapphic photo shoot! Oh my God, it’s horrible!”
“What the hell is that ho crying for?” One of the women asked raising an eyebrow. She turned to ask her new agent, but Naruto was already gone, dead set on protecting the honor of the fallen ramen, and to protect any other noodles he was too late to save.....
-
Jiraiya snickered fiendishly to himself, proud that he could manipulate his voice well enough to convince people it was a woman! “I’m such a sneaky bastard,” He gave himself a pat on the back, “Now Naruto will witness something that will bring him over to the dark side.....Ha.....Ha, ha.....Mwuhahahahaha!” He let his evil laughter rise up to the heavens, drawing several confused stares by various attractive women.
Then Jiraiya realized something: He was wasting his time on Naruto while hundreds of beautiful women were gathered in a small vicinity for a lesbian magazine’s photo shoot! What the hell was he doing!? Naruto quickly fell to the back burner as Jiraiya hurried to get himself some booty, like the perverted bastard he was.
-
“Where are you, ramen stalker!?” Naruto hissed as he stomped onto the photo shoot. Security came at him like they were going to shoo him away, but when they saw Kareem’s cane, they knew that this kid must definitely be a part of the Sapphic ring, and quickly backed off. Damn, they just kept getting younger and younger.
“There, like that! Good, good, keep it going, keep it going, the camera loves you! Oh my God, I love you! Don’t stop.....Ok, now her neck.....Good, good! I love this, it’s like you’re two different people, today! Keep it up, keep it up!”
Naruto listened to the annoyingly high pitched voice of someone as they continued to coax someone else on. Actually, by hearing his comment about them being ‘two different people’, our young hero came to the conclusion that the annoying voice man must be talking to Sakura and Ino! Yay thinking! His mind momentarily losing track of the alleged ramen stalker, he followed the voice and took a peek out at the set before him.
That was when it happened. What he saw will forever be burned into the ninja’s mind. Sakura and Ino were indeed the ones the man was talking to, all whilst taking pictures of them and telling them other things to do, which they promptly and accurately did. While watching this, Naruto began to feel something odd from down below, which frightened him to no end. There was no way that he.....but if THAT was happening when he saw this.....two people of the same gender, two girls.....watching them do those things.....made THAT happen to him?
“Oh my God.....” Naruto whispered to himself, backing away, “I’M GAY!”
-----Author’s other note: Just so there’s no confusion for some of you, Naruto thinks he’s gay because he’s turned on at watching two people of the same sex (Ino and Sakura) going at it. Yes, his definition of ‘gay’ is a little off. Yay misunderstandings! My favorite.
Also, I gave Dark lord Tokunaga a little scene in there, because he always reviews all of my stuff, whether I deserve it or not! If he doesn’t like it, I guess I could take it out, but still, I thought I’d offer it. It’s different for Fanfiction.net (As no one would recognize him), but still.
Thanks for reading.....-----