Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Fetish? What's A Fetish? ❯ Chocolate Milk Is For Winners ( Chapter 10 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

-----Author’s note: I do not own Naruto, but any other characters and ideas are my own. Enjoy.....-----


“It can’t be.....” Naruto, clad in his purple getup that screamed ‘shoot me’, stumbled backwards away from the elaborate setup that was the stage he had just peaked at. He had seen something rather unorthodox just a few seconds ago, and it confused him. More than anything, though, was that it frightened him. Why was he afraid of seeing Ino and Sakura doing the nasty while someone took pictures? It’s simple, really. It scared him because it caused him to nearly jab a hole through his pants. No hands necessary!

“I can’t be.....not me! It’s Sasuke! He’s the gay one!” The blonde spoke for no one’s benefit if only his own. It was as if somehow saying out loud what he hoped to be true would make it so. In reality, all it did was draw a confused stare from security, who still refused to remove the boy from the area because of Kareem’s cane. A symbol of power, wealth, authority, and a nasty bitch slap.

As if to smash him in the face with a big fat ‘Guess again’, fate then had the photographer say something Naruto wished he hadn’t, “Alright, now she’s been a bad girl! Spank her, punish that naughty girl!” A second later, a loud slapping noise brought the blonde to his knees in horrible realization. He enjoyed the mental image and Ino’s sharp exhalations far too much for it to be normal!

“NOOOOO!” He cried, pushing himself up and running away. .....Actually, in the current state he was in, it was more of a hobble, but he was still booking nonetheless. He had to get far away from that foulness and try to cleanse his mind with something totally not gay. The complete and total opposite of gay. But what? What could possibly be less gay than watching two beautiful girls make passionate, subservient, obligatory-for-the-mission love?

Naruto slowed his fleeing, his eyes slowly widening as he paid closer attention to what he had just thought. Obligatory-for-the-mission? Then that would mean that Tsunade had sent them here knowing that this is what would happen! That’s why the girls had been so against it from the start! Mr. Ichiraku number two had wanted to meet them for a night because he thought that they were the two women that Sakura and Ino replaced! So, in turn, the man must also be gay!

Another unpleasant realization dawned upon Naruto, then. Kiba had told him that sleeping with two women was the best thing ever, but wouldn’t that make Kiba gay, too? But that worked both ways! He, himself, had recently slept with two women and found that it wasn’t THAT great. He actually wound up getting slammed in the face, so it wasn’t that much different from getting within Sakura’s personal bubble, about five feet. If he didn’t really care that much about having slept with the two women, does that mean he isn’t gay? But he was still suffering from a rather manly swelling induced by what he had seen, so what the hell did that mean?

“I’m so confused.....I wish someone could help me,” Naruto sighed, wandering around the small town without any sort of purpose. That was when fate decided to throw poor Naruto a bone. The bone came in the form of.....

“What do you need help with, Naruto?”

The emotionally confused blonde looked over his shoulder to find a very welcome sight: Asuma!

“What’s going on with the purple clothes? .....And the weird hat? .....And the cane? .....And the bling? It’s not halloween.....” The jounin wondered aloud, falling into stride with the boy.

“What are you doing here? You came here on a mission too, huh?” The newly created pimp asked, glad to find a familiar face in his time of need. Asuma was an adult who no doubt knew plenty about everything! Maybe he could help him find his way through this mess.

“You bet I’m on a mission, Naruto. How could I possibly pass up an opportunity like this? I’ll take it that’s why you’re here, too? A mission?” The grinning jounin gave Naruto a nudge on the shoulder.

“Yeah, but it’s not going so good.....”

“You think it might be because of all the purple?”

“No, I think girls like the purple,” He recalled how Mr. Ichiraku number two had described the girls stripping him down and dressing him up, “They want to give me money and.....stuff.”

Asuma lifted an eyebrow, not breaking his stride though he was getting confused, “What kind of stuff?”

“Like blow jobs, I guess. Asuma?”

Asuma had broken away from Naruto, jumping into the first clothing store they passed. A few short moments later, the man came out wearing a purple suit, a wide brimmed purple hat with a huge white feather, and slick purple shoes.

“If you really wanted a blow job, I could have helped,” Naruto mumbled. After all of his years of eating ramen, he was a champion when it came to blowing!

“No doubt you could have hooked me up, my young friend, but I thought I’d give this a shot. You’ve been pretty spot on these last few days, I’m really impressed. If you say this is what the ladies like, I’ll take your word on it,” The jounin tipped his head to Naruto, flipping a cigarette up from its carton and snatching it up with two fingers, which promptly placed the stick between his lips.

“Well, ok. I guess I’d rather have a girl blow my noodles, too.....” That was a good sign, right? He would rather have Sakura blow on his things than Sasuke. That was good, right?

“Noodle, Naruto, noodle. Ha, ha, you’re one direct guy, you know that? Naruto.....” Asuma lit up his cigarette, putting his arm around the genin, “If I ever have a son, I’d want him to be as sharp as you are. I’m not just saying that, either. You’re not raunchy, and that’s good. You’re just sharp. I don’t know what happened, but you’ve definitely stepped it up, lately.”

“Actually, I just started thinking,” Naruto admitted, “And it’s like I can see the future,” He recalled dodging the entire scenario in which Sakura storms home to free Sasuke from Anko.

With a good-natured laugh, Asuma clapped Naruto on the back, “And a great sense of humor, too. Don’t know why I never saw it in you, before. Come on, let me buy you a drink,” The well pleased jounin now directed Naruto’s steps, rather than followed.

“I’m not old enough to drink, though!” Naruto exclaimed, assuming he wasn’t talking about chocolate milk.

“Relax, relax. I’m not gonna have you drink anything you’re not supposed to! You see? That’s what I mean. You’re getting in there, figuring women out all while staying within the right boundaries. Not something your average guy could do.....”

‘Average guy, huh?’ Naruto pondered the words silently for a few seconds, then thought, ‘Gai! He always calls Lee adorable, and youthful, and he makes him wear tights! Why would he call him adorable if he didn’t think it? But does that mean that Gai is gay!?’

-

Might Gai hopped down the stairs, looking around the office’s basement in the dim light for that blasted equipment storeroom. His adorable student, Lee, was waiting for him! Wearing tights, and being all youthful! With a grin, the jounin couldn’t help but praise himself for raising such a talented and good-natured pupil. Maybe, one day, Lee would be as adorable as he, himself, was!

Not an impure thought in Gai’s mind, he waltzed on over to the locked door and unlocked it, pulling it open to find three women tied up on the floor before him. His first reaction was a ‘What the hell?’ moment, his second was to look towards the ceiling and think ‘Thank you’ to whoever could hear him, then his third was realization! These young lotus blossoms weren’t a gift from above for him to enjoy, no!

“Sakura, Ino? Is that you?” He asked, looking the two girls over in confusion. He recognized the third to be Shizune, whom he addressed next, “What’s going on here?”

Shizune, unable to wriggle herself free or even speak due to the overpowering might of the duct tape, did all she could: Grunt and wiggle some more.

“I see!” Gai stated in a matter of fact tone, “Luckily for us, I’m a master of charades!”

The two porn stars bearing striking resemblances to Ino and Sakura both protested the stupid jounin’s assumption that they were playing charades in the only manner they could: Grunting and wriggling.

“Yes, I see that you have already soiled yourselves. That must mean this is a very long game of charades. I admire your dedication.....Hm.....”

Shizune, once she was sure she had Gai’s eyes on her own, looked pointedly at the duct tape covering her mouth, trying her best to muffle that she wanted him to take it off.

Well it just so happens that Gai isn’t as good at charades as he says, and he wound up mistaking the seven syllables of ‘I want you to take this off!’ for ‘I want you to play as well!’

“But I am already playing.....Oh well, it’s your game! Lee will understand that I can’t turn down a good challenge!” And before Shizune could finish thinking: ‘Please, just stomp on my head. Just kill me, I don’t want to live in the same world as you if you can’t figure out that this is not a game.’, Gai had tied himself up with some rope and duct tape left over from the imposter Tsunade.

After a few seconds of lying there, Gai realized something: You’re not supposed to make noises during charades! Geez, some ninja he was.....

-

Naruto threw his glass up to his lips, tilting his head back to drain out the last drop of the hardest stuff the place had.

As the boy brought the now empty glass down with a thunk, Asuma raised his hand a little to get the attention of the bartender, “Another chocolate milk for my friend, here.”

The grinning genin grabbed the fresh glass as it was slid down the bar to him, taking another swig of the best drink ever. Ramen juice aside, of course.

“So, Naruto, I know that you’re still figuring them out, but you must have some sort of preference when it comes to girls. What kind of girl is it that spikes your interest? Gets your motor running?” Asuma asked pleasantly, taking a sip from his own glass of scotch.

“What kind of girl?” The blonde sighed, “I don’t think that any girl is right for me.....”

“Ah, I know it feels like that sometimes, but the right one’s out there. You just have to hang tight and keep looking. Come on, what do you look for in a girl?”

The boy took another drink, wondering about that, himself. Well, he knew he liked how Sakura looked, even if she beat the living crap out of him at the drop of a pin. Hinata was alright, but she was too shy. Tenten was sort of normal, but he didn’t really think much of her. There was Ino, but she seemed like a consolation prize if Sakura was too much for him to get.
“I guess.....” He began, “I like them to be normal sized. You know, not really skinny, but not fat, either?”

Asuma nodded sagely, “You like a little love handle, I get it. A real woman, I respect that.”

“.....Yeah. And I guess she should be kind of pretty.....and tough. I like girls who can take care of themselves! But, sometimes, she’d still ask me to do things for her.”

“Alright, alright.”

“But.....most of all, I’d want us to be friends. Someone that I’d be happy to just sit around with, and who’d like to sit around with me. Just her, me, and a couple bowls of instant ramen. Ha, but no girl would ever go for that kind of thing, trust me,” Naruto recalled a time when he had asked if Sakura would like to come over for ramen one night, and he wound up flying through the air after an impressive punch. He surely must have said something else that offended her, because it really was a small thing to ask.

Naruto expected Asuma to say something, but didn’t get anything. After a few quiet moments of sipping chocolate milk had passed, he looked over to find Asuma struggling to hold back tears, “A-Are you ok?” The blonde asked, a little worried.

Asuma nodded, rubbing the back of his neck, “Naruto, you truly are a diamond in the rough! From the outside it looks that maybe you’re getting your head in the clouds, what with the new getup and the bling, but really, you’re just a guy trying to find love. I feel the exact same way, Naruto. Just keep on going, man. One day, you’ll find that girl. I know it.”

“Well what about you? What kind of girl do you like?” The genin wondered aloud, now slightly interested in what Asuma had to say. As it just so happens, he was right about Asuma being helpful.

Asuma grinned a little, taking another sip, “Ah, don’t ask me a question like that.....”

“No, come on! You asked me and I answered.”

“It’s not something that I should talk to you about, I mean.....”

“Hey, hey, hey, I bared my soul just a second ago! Come on,” Naruto urged for an answer.

Asuma held his hands up, “Hey, don’t try and guilt me into telling! Maybe you read one too many girl magazines, because that’s a class one female move,” The jounin stood up, dropping a wad of bills onto the counter, “Naruto, don’t give up on finding that one girl. You never know when she’ll show up at your door with a couple of cups of ramen. Hell, she might be closer than you even know. I’ll see you later.....”

Naruto watched the jounin leave, finishing off his drink. The more he thought about it, the less gay he felt. Sure he liked watching two girls do inappropriate things to each other. So what? He wasn’t ashamed, and if a little part of him was gay inside, so freaking be it. Admitting what he liked in a girl to Asuma helped him see that he still liked girls. He’d simply pretend that he was never enticed by what he saw. Speaking of, it was almost time for him to meet up with Sakura and Ino. The shoot (Evil thing) would be over by now, and they’d be ready to go.....

-

“So, was it good for you, too?”

“Sh-Shut up!”

Ino grinned a little at her blushing friend as the two of hurriedly made their way for the path back home where they were supposed to meet Naruto, “That last part was interesting. He didn’t even tell you to do that one.....” She teased the furiously scarlet girl.

Sakura crossed her arms, looking down at the ground as she walked, “I was caught up in the moment, ok?”

“You were caught up in something. Rawr,” Ino grinned, making a scratching motion with her hand.

“No! No rawr!” She copied the scratching motion, “We’re never to speak of this again! I would absolutely die if anyone found out!”

Ino stopped grinning, nodding, “I know, I know. We’re on the same page, I don’t want anyone to find out either. Sakura.....you know that tonight we’ll have to do it?”

“Don’t say that,” Sakura groaned.

“We promised, so tonight, before we get back to the village, that’s when we’ll do it. We’ll just have to force him to swear to never tell.”

“You mean outside? On the ground? In a tent? You’ve got to be.....Oh, crap! There’s Naruto, change the subject!”

As the two girls approached the patiently waiting Naruto, they proceeded to call each other ‘pig’ and ‘forehead girl’ respectively. Nothing out of the ordinary. This made the blonde feel a little less queasy. They weren’t acting as though they had done anything wrong, but did that make it right?

“Th-There y-y-you t-t-t-t-two are!” Naruto stammered so badly he barely even recognized his own voice.

“A-Are you ok, Naruto?” Sakura asked, making a point of not looking the boy in the face.
“NERVOUS? HA! OF COURSE NOT!” Naruto overcompensated for his stuttering by yelling his next sentence.

“So.....did you catch the ramen stalker?” Ino asked, knowing that no, he had not.

Naruto had already figured out, through the power of thinking, that the ramen stalker was a clever ruse by the young blonde girl to keep him from the photo shoot. Unfortunately it hadn’t worked, so he just shook his head, “The authorities here already got him! So, mission accomplished!” YES! He was back under control of his own talking!

“Urm, th-that’s good. Let’s get going, now. I want to get home.....” Sakura admitted, wanting that shower more than anyone will ever know. Before she got there, though, she still had one last piece of ugly business to attend to.....


-----Author’s other note: Updates have been non existent because I’m focusing my attention elsewhere. Next chapter has lots to look forward to, including the light practice promised by Ino and Sakura (Unless something goes wrong!), and the return of Sasuke! I can’t promise good update speed at this point because I’m working on other stories, so don’t get too excited. .....Or angry, that’s not good, either.

What will Sakura and Ino do? Will Sasuke be able to speak upon their return? Will Naruto ever figure out what’s going on around him? What will happen to Naruto’s hos? Stay tuned.....

Thanks for reading.....-----