Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Fetish? What's A Fetish? ❯ Practice Makes Imperfect ( Chapter 11 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Serac 
Love, lust, luck, and some other word that starts with 'L'. .....Not lesbian, you pervert.
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 03.23.2007 | Pages: 6 | Words: 8.6K | Visits: 1.3K | Status: Work In Progress
Love, lust, luck, and some other word that starts with 'L'. .....Not lesbian, you pervert.
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 03.23.2007 | Pages: 6 | Words: 8.6K | Visits: 1.3K | Status: Work In Progress
-----Author’s note: Fear my update and its more serious undertones, it has come. I do not own Naruto, but any other characters and ideas are my own. Enjoy.....-----
The two young men sat together in mutual silence, though both were practically bursting with the desire to speak. Each had questions and adventures that they had for the other, but neither was sure how to go about putting them into words. After all, some things were to be spoken of, and some were not. Right now, both had to ponder if what they had to say was something that should be said, or something that should remain unsaid.
The two young men were none other than Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha. They had recently been reunited in the streets of Konoha, simply by chance. .....Well, ok, so maybe it hadn’t been so much ‘chance’ as much as it had been Ino and Sakura sprinting around while looking for him, dragging Naruto with them because ‘He was a part of this’. The pink-haired genin had no idea what Sasuke had been through since last she saw him, back in the hospital. She was still haunted by the memory of him singing the Weather Girls. At any rate, she asked Ino no further questions about what she had done, exactly, to Sasuke, because she didn’t need to know. She was better off not knowing. The only important thing was that the love of her life was ungayed, and hopefully ungayed like hell.
It was an odd twist of friendship and alliances that brought the two males together this night, each seeking the brotherly understanding and solidity of the other to help them find their way through the miry trenches of the sex and all of the intimidating things that it came with. As Naruto thought this, he couldn’t help but shiver. Sasuke? Brotherly? He hoped not. The young Uchiha wanted to kill his blood brother, so maybe that was a road he didn’t want to go down.
It was an odd twist of fear and indigestion that brought the two shinobi together in Naruto’s apartment, he sought escape from the frightening estrogen by the names of ‘Sakura’ and ‘Ino’, and found it in a place neither one wanted to go: Naruto’s place. At least, that’s what the Uchiha prodigy believed, at the time of his decision.
“Uh.....You want some.....I don’t know, here.....” Naruto reached over to the little bowl of treats that he had found packaged up for him at his door, waiting for his return. The package had definitely been a nice one, all laced up and more expensive looking than the goodies it contained. Nonetheless, it was a pleasant surprise to come home to.
Sasuke reached to grab one of the colorful pieces from the bowl, even if a little nervously, “Y-Yeah, I likes me some candy.....” He muttered below his breath, popping the sweet into his mouth.
Naruto forced a smile, because forced was the only way it was going to come, right then. For one, he knew Sasuke didn’t like sweets at all, and for two, “That was pretty un-Sasuke-like.”
“I know, I know,” He’d never admit that he only said it because he was anxious and just said the first thing that came to his mind. .....The first thing that wasn’t: ‘Get that rainbow colored dog shit away from me’, anyway, “It was pretty out of character.”
“No kidding. The only way it could have been more out of character would be if you had said something like ‘I love you, Naruto, and I always have’, or something gay like that.”
The two shared a laugh, then both got real serious, Sasuke stating rather bluntly, “Yeah, hell would have to freeze over and women would have to unanimously vote chocolate as their least favorite food for that to happen.”
“And we’re going with the chocolate thing as the less likely of the two?”
“You bet your ass, we are. Needed a safety net in case hell does freeze over.”
“Good thinking.”
The two, both feeling a little more relaxed now that they had made it clear that Sasuke would NEVER have any kind of amorous feelings for Naruto, not that it was ever really an issue as they were simply making small talk. The blonde of the two opened his mouth to finally ask how Anko’s treatment had been, but a knock at his door caused him to shut it just as quickly.
“Oh, crap!” Sasuke yelped, ducking down in front of the couch to hide.
“How ninja-like,” Naruto mumbled.
“If it’s Sakura or Ino, I’m not here!”
“Ha! There’s no way it’s either one of them, don’t worry about that. They’d never show up here. It’s probably just Iruka-sensei. Whoever it is,” Naruto stood up, moving for the door, “We need to talk about some stuff, so I’m just gonna send them away.”
As the genin reached for the doorknob, he felt kind of sad that he could only see Iruka coming to see him of his own free will. Ah, who cares? He pulled the door open, gawking at the person before him in surprise. After a few seconds of the two staring at each other, Naruto finally lied, “Sasuke’s not here.”
Ino raised an eyebrow, “Why would you just assume I’m looking for Sasuke?” She asked sourly.
“Because you’ve been obsessed with Sasuke ever since ever? Because you haven’t seen him in a whopping two days and you’re having withdrawals? Because you’re perverted and hope that Anko made Sasuke perverted? Because you’re Ino? Would you like me to keep going?” Naruto, now, took his turn to raise his own eyebrow. He noticed that the blonde girl was keeping her hands behind her back, as though to hide something.
“Actually, I’m here for.....something.....” She mumbled the last part, lowering her once raised eyebrow as if in defeat, though what kind of defeat Naruto knew not.
“Well, I’m kind of busy right now, so what is it?”
“Busy doing what? Watching that porn tape again?” What creeped Naruto out the most was that he caught a hint of hopefulness in Ino’s voice. He restrained himself, and didn’t call her a pervert. Again.
“Doing stuff, ok? Look, I’ll talk to you tomorrow!” He slammed the door in her face, locking it and hurrying back over to his couch.
“Is she gone?” Sasuke asked weakly, still keeping down behind the couch.
“Yeah, I think so. I wonder what she wanted, anyway?” The blonde asked, sitting back down.
“This might sound kind of weird coming from me,” Sasuke rose to his feet, then just as quickly sat himself down beside Naruto, “But don’t you think that was a little cold of you? Dismissing her, like that?”
“What are you talking about?” Naruto asked, grabbing the little bowl of candies and popping one into his mouth, “It was just Ino.”
Knowing full well that he should say something along the lines of ‘You should be nicer to her, especially since no one ever visits you’, but not caring enough to do so, Sasuke merely shrugged, “Ok, so who wants to go first? We have some talking to do, let’s do it.”
With a single nod, Naruto spoke, “I’ll do it. I’ll go first. Let me tell you all that has happened to me since I last saw you, particularly, allow me to speak to you of last night.....” The young ninja spoke in an uncharacteristically sage-like tone, putting his chin in his hand.....
Naruto’s Story
“PUT IT IN! PUT IT IN! PUT IT IN!”
“I’m trying, I’m trying! .....It’s too wet, down here, I can’t!”
“Here, let me help!”
And with those words, Ino reached down and grabbed the long, thick object that was so troubling her two friends, much to Naruto’s pleasure. Sakura, who had been the first to speak, was practically dying at this point, so wet that anyone a mile away would have been able to notice. She was fidgety as hell, and wanted Naruto to get it in so bad that she could barely stand it.
As Ino guided Naruto with precision and power, his hard tool found its way into the moistness, locking in. This brought out a ‘thank God’ sigh from Sakura, a cheer of triumph from Naruto, and a pleased smirk from Ino.
“I’m in!” The blonde cheered, thrusting with all of his might to get it in the furthest he could. It took so much work to actually get it in there, he was definitely not gonna let it come back out. Damn, it felt good to finally get the thing in there. After a couple of seconds, the male asked, “Now what?”
“NOW WHAT?” Ino shrieked, grabbing Naruto by the hair, “Don’t play stupid!”
Lightning crashed through the sky, thunder pounding across the plains as the three ninja remained outside, still setting up their tent. Naruto, with Ino’s help, had just successfully managed to get a rather stubborn tent peg into the soaked ground, which had been reluctant to keep a hold of the tool. All three were drenched to the bone by the blankets of rain as they plummeted down to earth, but Sakura seemed more affected by it than the other two, desperate to get inside and get out of her cold clothes.
A few moments of frantic peg pounding later, the three ninja found themselves stuffed in the tent, each one colder than the next. To make matters worse, their packs with spare clothes had been soaked through, as well, so they had no dry clothes to change into.
‘Ah, weather’s trying to make me his bitch by forcing me into this position!’ Sakura groaned inwardly, ‘I’ll have to take my clothes off or I’ll get dead sick! And Naruto’s here! It’s like stupid weather knew about the promise, all along!’ “I was going to do it anyway!” She shouted to the top of the tent.
“D-Do what, Sakura-chan?” Naruto asked, wishing a split second later that he hadn’t. Sakura’s fist, as it was quite prone to doing, slammed into his face, knocking him over.
“Nothing, you sick pervert!” She snapped, turning so that her back was facing him.
“What did I say?” He asked in a moan from the ground, holding his nose as he did.
Ino, who had just laid her sleeping bag out so that the part of it that had the most dryness left (Which wasn’t much, unfortunately) was facing upward, turned an icy glare onto Naruto, “Just stop talking and turn around.”
“Last time I stopped talking and turned around,” Naruto mumbled as he sat up, “Kiba grabbed my boxers and lifted me into the air with them.”
“Well this time when you stop talking and turn around, I’m going to take my wet clothes off. So do it!”
Naruto, who turned around so fast that it kicked up its own wind, had to admit that sounded a mite better than his last shut up and turn around experience. He had wound up throwing those boxers away. Actually, it sounded more than just a mite better, it sounded a BIT better. Wait, no, it sounded.....WAIT! NO! This was bad! He was going to be as bad as that perverted hermit, at this rate! All he could think about was Ino and Sakura in wet clothes, only not in them for long! It was one of.....wait.....what the hell? Naruto brought his hand up to his mouth, wondering what the strange warm sensation was. He touched his lips a little, then looked at the tips of his fingers to find red.
Red? He traced the little trickle up to his nose, his eyes widening in fear as he realized that the red substance was coming from his nose! ‘Oh, freaking crap! This isn’t supposed to happen in real life, is it!? I must have blown something in my head when I was pushing the tent peg in! That’s the only reasonable explanation! I’m gonna die!’
Ino’s arm brushed the blonde’s neck as she lifted her shirt over her head, the gentle touch sending chills up the male’s spine. He caught himself trying to peek over his shoulder, but quickly pinched himself in the leg as hard as he could to make himself stop. The little stream of red had grown just a little wider. Before he knew what was happening, Sakura’s leg was rubbing up against his lower back as she struggled to get the clothes off, which were clinging to her due to the water.
‘NO! Only more blood is coming out!’ A panicked Naruto screamed to himself as he brought both hands up to cover his face and try to staunch the flow. The more the girls ‘accidentally’ touched him, the more nervous he became, and the more his nose shed the red, ‘Why can’t I just be dying!? I’m not a pervert!’
“Naruto-kun?” Sakura asked in a shy voice, which caused Naruto to slowly turn his head to look at the one who addressed him. The pink-haired genin was sitting with her legs tucked beneath her, holding her wet clothes up to her naked form, concealing her chest and just barely covering everything else Naruto shouldn’t be seeing. Ino was right beside her, her clothes wrapped around her waist, her back facing him. She was looking at him over her shoulder and letting just a slight blush show on her face.
“Wh-Wh-Wha-Wha......Wh-Wha......” Wow, never before had one person had so much trouble saying one simple word. Even so, Sakura took it he meant to say ‘what’.
“Could you please hand me a blanket, Naruto-kun?”
Faster than you could say ‘two naked girls’, Naruto had flung a blanket at Sakura and dove out of the tent to lie on the ground about twenty yards away. He didn’t care that it was raining, he needed a minute to think. Yeah, think.
Sakura exhaled deeply, wrapping herself up in the blanket, “Oh my God, I thought I was going to puke.”
Ino grabbed the other end of the blanket and pulled it up to cover herself, as well, “Oh, shut up! We only have to do it once, and remember, we said ‘light’ practice. He isn’t going to put anything in anywhere!”
“Then how the hell are we supposed to show him anything? He’s a Narut.....I mean, a guy! He’s gonna try and stick it somewhere!”
“That might not be true,” Ino stated in a low voice, “For all we know, he ran out there to take care of business, himself.....”
Sakura frowned, “I’m not sure I follow.....” She admitted a little sheepishly.
“You know.....Spanking the monkey? Choking the chicken? Flogging the dolphin?”
The medic ninja frowned a little more, “Why do you hate animals so much?”
“‘Cause they’re sneaky little bastards, but that’s not the point! I mean Naruto’s probably out there.....masturbating.....”
The blonde had to stop talking to allow Sakura the time to gag back her vomit. After a few seconds, she continued, “But seriously, that’s a good thing!”
Still swallowing hard, Sakura looked at her friend like she was insane, “How on EARTH can you say that Naruto.....pleasuring.....” Another wave of nausea, “Himself.....is a good thing!?”
“Because! He’ll have already busted a nut and won’t need to do it with us!”
“He’ll have WHAT!?”
“You know! He’ll be out of man milk!”
This time a little bit of the vomit made its way up into her mouth, but she managed to keep it all down, “I hate you so much,” Sakura admitted.
“Hate me all you want, but right now I’m your best damn friend, so deal with it! When he comes back in here, we’re going to show Naruto how to get a girl ready for sex.....” Ino nodded a little bite, rubbing her chin sagely.
Sakura, with goose bumps all over from the cold, at least that’s what she hoped, gathered the courage to ask, “And how are we going to do that?”
“By having one of us instruct him on what to do to the other, and taking turns being the guinea pig.”
“WHAT!? You’re disgusting! I don’t want Naruto doing things to me that you tell him to!” Then Sakura found a flaw with this design, one she hoped she could exploit, “Ok, that’s fine! Since it’s a guinea pig, then, you go first! After all, you’ve got the pig part down just fine!” She could probably get Ino into it enough that she would never have to touch Naruto even once! She’d just have to do her best to get both blondes lost in the moment so they’d lose track of her, altogether!
With a smirk that belied her true understanding of Sakura’s intentions, Ino nodded, “That’s fine, billboard brow. I’ll go first. Unlike you, I know how to handle myself in passionate situations.....”
“You can’t even use the word ‘passionate’ in any context when Naruto’s involved. .....Unless you throw ramen in there, too. And shut up! We agreed not to talk about the shoot, remember!?” Sakura blushed a cherry red.
“I’m just saying, I can handle myself better than you can, and I’m going to prove it,” The blonde leered at her rival.
“And how are you going to do that, porker?”
“I’ll bet that by the end of our little practice session, I’ll have you begging Naruto for the real deal.”
“Pssh, like hell! I’d rather get the real deal from a tree. Ok, I’ll bet I can get you to beg Naruto for it, too! Winner gets first shot at Sasuke-kun when we get back home!”
Ino and Sakura shook hands, then sat in silence to await Naruto’s return.
Naruto, who was at the moment lying on his back staring up at the roiling clouds above him, knew that tonight was the night. If it wasn’t fate conspiring against him, or for him depending on your perspective, then it was surely the girl’s doing. There was no way Sakura would attach a ‘kun’ to his name under any normal circumstances. That meant that they were in there, right now, waiting for him to come back so they could get it going, “I don’t know if I’m ready for this.....” He whispered to himself, though he hardly heard it over the rain.
That was when fate really did conspire for Naruto, throwing him some assistance. Or, more accurately, a book. And it seriously threw it at him, the book landing smack on his face. Confused, the blonde grabbed the book and squinted to read the title in the darkness. He could feel it was all laminated, so he wasn’t worried about the rain ruining it. The title read ‘How to Break a Woman, by ..................’
“The author’s name is scratched out.....well, whatever! Thank you, Gods! This is just what I needed! Now I’ll just speed read a little bit, and I’ll be good to go!”
-
Jiraiya nodded slowly, grinning evilly to himself as he watched his heir reading the book as fast as he could, “With my newest, most surefire invention, Naruto, you will become a lady killer faster than any could ever comprehend.....” Veiled in the shadows of the storm, Jiraiya prepared his night vision goggles so he could watch the soon to come action.
-
“Wait,” Sasuke interrupted Naruto’s tale-telling, “So a book flew out of nowhere and hit you in the face?”
Naruto nodded, slightly aggravated by Sasuke’s intrusion upon his turn, “Yeah, why would I lie!?”
The Uchiha shrugged, “I don’t know, it just seems really suspicious. .....But why would Sakura and Ino suddenly come onto you, like that? They hate you, don’t they? Well, sort of hate, I guess.”
The hyperactive ninja froze, realizing that he hadn’t told Sasuke the reason the girls would do something like that with him! He couldn’t! Then Sasuke would know that it was Ino’s and his own plotting that had led him into Anko’s ungaying trap! He had to come up with a clever and witty lie, right now! “Uh.....they were emotional because.....they were.....uh, on their period! Yeah!”
Sasuke opened in his mouth and tilted his head back in the universal ‘Oh!’ motion. A couple of seconds went by before he spoke again, “Er, what’s a period?”
“It’s a time period of sadness that girls have sometimes, and only flying toys and ice cream can fix it. I don’t know why, but that’s what I’ve found out, so far.”
Nodding a little bit, Sasuke thanked Naruto and bid him continue.
Naruto’s Story, continued.....
The young ninja stuffed the handbook into his pant’s back pocket, slowly moving for the tent through the rain and wind. He held his breath in fear and anticipation, though he knew he would be fine. The worst that would happen is that Sakura might punch him in the face again, and that was something he was used to. Hell, it might as well be how she says ‘hi’. More than anticipation, though, Naruto felt an overpowering sense of confidence. Even though he had only read a few of the pages of the book, he felt it working its magic on him, somehow. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but something had changed.....Whatever it was, he knew that now was the time to put the book to the test!
Sakura and Ino both jumped a little as Naruto pulled the tent flap open, both girls turning wide eyes to him as they gulped down their anxiety. Naruto held out a hand to the two, hoping one would take it and pull him into the tent. It was mostly a gesture to see how they were feeling, at the moment, and their reaction told him plenty.
Sakura stared at the hand with a grimace, hoping it hadn’t been doing what she thought it had been doing, “Er, what w-were you doing out there?”
He gave them a little smile, climbing into the tent without any help, “I just needed a few minutes to think about some things.” The ninja unzipped his orange vest, but left his pants on.
Maybe it was hearing Naruto’s voice in a serious tone, or maybe it was hearing that he thought, or maybe it was because they were getting sick from the cold, but both Ino and Sakura found themselves staring into his deep blue eyes and wondering what had happened in those few minutes that stopped his nosebleed, brought confidence back into his once failing voice, and made them feel as though they were the ones who were perverted, not him. Sakura almost wished she could take back that last punch to the face.
“Wh-What things?” Ino asked quietly, surprised at how tiny and insignificant her voice sounded. Usually she was boisterous and domineering, it just wasn’t coming out like that, now!
“Just.....about this, about now. .....About us, and what we’re doing. Girls, I know that you made a promise, and.....I’m up here.”
Sakura and Ino quickly looked up into Naruto’s eyes, both red from being found out. They had been gazing at his chest and how his soaked shirt clung to his every muscle. The pink-haired ninja was licking her lips before she could stop herself.
“And.....well, I wouldn’t want to do anything that would jeopardize what we have, already,” Naruto had to fight to keep the red from his face, though he was pretty sure it was showing in his ears. If it was so dim in the tent, he would have bet his life they could see his embarrassment. He couldn’t believe how corny he sounded, but he was just following the instructions of the mysterious book, “You both mean too much to me.....for me to ever make you feel so bad about this.”
“W-We don’t feel bad!” Ino piped up, raising her arm as she did. The blanket started to slide away from her slender form, but she caught it with her other hand just in time.
Naruto laid out his own sleeping bag, which was mostly wet, too. He opened it up and eased himself inside, and then began to get his pants off, “And that’s why neither of you would even touch my hand. It’s ok, if you don’t want to, I don’t want to. I’d never want to make either of you do anything you didn’t want to do, promise or not.” He pulled his pants out of the sleeping bag that now concealed him, and lobbed them aside.
The two girls stared at the discarded clothing in unison, then stared at the back of Naruto’s head, which was all he had left revealed for them to see. They were both thinking the same thing: Please don’t talk anymore!
Alas, they did not get their wish, “I’ve gotten used to it. I’ve learned to accept it.....that no one would ever want to touch me, that maybe.....maybe I’m supposed to be alone. After all, who would want to touch a monster?”
And this was when Naruto put his resolve to the test. Not only did he have to open up emotionally, but now he had to do something that only the most masculine of men could walk away from intact: He had to cry. But how? The last time he had really had a good cry was when Mr. Ichiraku shut down for a week to fix a pest problem. Oh, yep, that was doing it.....
Before he knew what was going on, Naruto felt a warm body slide into his bag right beside him, and the girl took his hand in her own, “Naruto,” The voice was Sakura’s, “I want to do this.”
The blonde turned to look at her, still holding her hand. Sakura’s face only got redder as she saw the lone tear meandering down his cheek, and she wiped it away with her hand as she cupped his cheek, bringing him in for the kiss.
-
“Yes......the harem angels sing my praises, for I have created a new hero for them to glorify.....” Jiraiya grinned evilly, rubbing his hands together as he surveyed the scene unfolding before him with his infrared technology, the most high-tech in voyeurism, “Less than ten minutes with my new book, and he’s making out with a naked girl in his sleeping bag while another one watches.....I still got it. After all......Wait.....what happened?” Jiraiya, though one of the finest ninjas and perverts in the land, was still unable to hear the three inside because of the rain, and was thus confused and displeased to find the situation changing from what he had assumed to follow shortly after.
-
What do perfect kisses, sitting in a boring class, and really awkward situations all have in common? Easy: Time stands still for all of them. That’s why Naruto was so stunned when he found that it wasn’t like that, for him. It lasted a good long five or so seconds, and he was acutely aware of every last nanosecond of it, but fireworks didn’t burst into life above their tent, angels didn’t sing, no light hit them at just the right angle, and time didn’t stop for them.
Sakura’s lips slowly left his, a shuddering breath escaping her as she slid her hand from his cheek and down his neck to his chest, where it came to a stop. Though he should have been the happiest man alive, having just kissed the girl he had wanted to kiss for as long as he could remember, Naruto’s eyes were dim with a sad realization: What if he didn’t really love her?
Ino had been watching this entire thing happen in awe, not sure exactly why she was trembling. Excitement? Perverted senses, tingling? .....Jealousy? This situation was just as much her own as it was Sakura’s, but why was she unable to capitalize off of it? Why did she want to capitalize off of it? Naruto was ok, but he was stupid and weird most of the time. Sure, he was brave, strong, nice, easily manipulated, innocent as a little girl in Sunday school, and ripe for the corrupting, but he was also cute. .....That wasn’t what she meant to think, she meant to think he was also smoking hot in his wet shirt. NO! NOT NARUTO! ‘I need to say something!’ She panicked, and said the first applicable thing that came to her mind.
“You lose.”
“God dammit.....”
“I told you, you can’t handle these situations.”
Naruto frowned, looking to Ino for an answer, “Lose what?”
“The bet! Sakura said she’d rather get it from a tree, and I said that by the end of the session, she’d want it from you!” Ino claimed triumphantly.
“Same for you, though, right?” The blonde asked the other blonde, who grimaced, hanging her head in shame.
Naruto plucked his hand free from Sakura’s who grinned a little at him, embarrassed and ashamed, “Naruto, l-look.....”
Cutting her off, Naruto asked, “And what were you betting?”
Neither one wanted to say it, but a severe look from Naruto brought it out of Sakura, “Loser has to let the winner get first shot at Sasuke when we get back home.”
“Sasuke.....” Naruto let out a deep sigh, holding out his hand to Ino, “Of course. Hand me my pants.”
“N-Naruto, it’s still-”
“Less talking, more pants.”
Ino grabbed Naruto’s pants, a book falling out of the back pocket as she lifted them up. She handed the clothing to the boy, then grabbed the book, reading the title aloud, “How to Break a Woman? I-Is this what you were doing out there?”
“.....Maybe.....” The offended blonde used the most universally handy response of all time.
Ino flipped it open, and Naruto began to get a sinking feeling in his stomach. Even worse than the one he had a few seconds ago, “It gives steps on.....the hell? You.....did these things!” She threw the book at Naruto, “You tried to get us to.....with steps listed in a book? That’s pathetic!”
Sakura looked at Naruto with disgust, punching him in the face to get enough space so she could scramble out of the sleeping bag and get back under the blanket with Ino.
Naruto wasn’t going to argue for himself by saying that one of the steps was to be honest with what you say, because they wouldn’t hear it. They all sat there in the tent, looking from one to the other, each surprised and disappointed in the others, and at themselves.
“Maybe.....” Sakura said softly, “Maybe.....we’re not mature enough for this kind of thing, after all,” She whispered, gazing at Naruto in confusion. When she had kissed him, time had stood still. Her heart was still pounding, and her mind was racing. There was no way she could ever feel anything for Naruto, right?
“Is this why Kakashi-sensei told me to ask adults about sex? Because they’re the only ones mature enough to do sex?” Naruto asked weakly, bringing his hand up to his forehead.
“I think.....that we all just need to think about some things.....” Ino mumbled, looking at Naruto, confused about how she was feeling, “Before we do anything else.....”
And think they did, all night long in silence.
-
“And that’s what happened.....” Naruto finished his story, waiting to see what Sasuke’s reaction would be.
“I don’t think maturity has anything to do with sex, at all,” Sasuke stated bluntly, folding his arms and shaking his head.
“Really? Why not?”
“Don’t you remember in the video? They can’t talking about pussies, and hitting them. What mature person is interested in hitting cats? And, I mean, what the hell? Did cats actually have anything to do with what they were doing, at all? No, I don’t think so. And I don’t think they were talking about wussy people, or something, so they must have been talking about cats. What’s mature about that?” Sasuke reasoned, then asked.
Naruto had to admit, talking about cats when you were in the middle of being naked and bouncing around with another naked person didn’t make much sense, and it hardly seemed like the mature thing to do, “I guess you’re right, but.....still, I don’t know what to make of it all. I’m pretty confused about the whole thing.....”
Sasuke patted Naruto on the shoulder, which shook the blonde out of his confusion momentarily. They were on good terms with one another, lately, drawing from their shared strife in the sex. Maybe by the time they got to the end of the treacherous road to understanding it and the girls that you needed for it, they would be like brothers.....Not like Itachi and Sasuke brothers, but normal brothers. .....Not that Naruto wanted that, or anything.
“It’s bad, I know,” The Uchiha sighed, “But we’ve got our whole lives to figure it out.”
“Actually,” Naruto groaned, “Hinata’s birthday is in about ten days. And while I’m not sure sex is the best present to give, I’d still like to try and figure it out before then.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s not possible.”
“Like how it’s impossible to listen to Cher and not be gay?”
“.....Shut up! I’ll listen to whatever the hell I want, and you’re gay for not liking it, too!”
“Hey, hey, no need to get all defensive! Geez.....”
Sasuke eyed Naruto angrily for a moment, then let it go, “So you wanna hear my story, or what?”
The blonde nodded, “By all means, let’s hear it!”
“Well, Naruto, it was something else. At first it was awful, but after she made me come in a few different places, I started to enjoy it.....”
Sasuke’s Story
Sasuke moved to bust Anko’s door down, but the jounin opened it herself and ushered him in without so much as a word. Before he realized what was happening, she had slammed the door shut and locked it. Locked it several times, to be exact. Before he could so much as utter a single word, Anko was dragging him through her place by the wrist.
“Hey, what’s the problem? Why did you need me?” He asked in alarm at Anko’s silent rush.
“I don’t need you. You need me,” Was the simple, albeit confusing, response he got.
“Well, then, what do you want? I’ve got better things to do than waste my time with you.....”
“What do I want, my new toy asks me? I want only one thing, and that one thing is something only you can give me, at the moment. If you don’t give it to me, I’m going to.....well, you don’t need to know, because you ARE going to give it to me. Now, if you’ll just kindly step in here,” Anko asked sweetly, opening up a door to a particularly dark room.
Sasuke, who was normally pretty level-headed when it came to things like.....wait, he’d never been in a situation like this, never mind. All the same, he was a little reluctant to enter the room, so Anko wound up shoving him inside.
“Since you’re gay,” The jounin spoke, looking around her living room, “I figured you could help me with my interior decorating. Right now it’s a little.....anyway, what do you think?”
“INO!” Sasuke called out, “IT’S HORRIBLE! HELP!” Nothing matched, at all! She had purple carpet with red curtains, twenty-year-old plaid couches, a horrific looking monkey lamp, and garbage cans filled with dirty laundry, everywhere! He made a dash for the door, but Anko was in front of him before he got anywhere.
“Oh no you don’t, pretty boy. I’m gonna use up all the gay in you to make my house kick ass. .....You know, like the ones in the magazines. Don’t even try to resist.”
“NARUTO! PLEASE!” The Uchiha called for his other friend, but was greeted only by silence, “They’re already gone.....” He whispered in terror. He was all alone.....
-
“Wait, hang on!” Naruto interrupted, “Are you telling me that all Anko did to ungay you was use up your gayness to redecorate her house!?”
Sasuke kicked the side of Naruto’s leg, “I’m not gay, you ass hole! How many times do I have to say it?”
“Then what did she do when you told her that?”
“.....She laughed.”
“.....And?”
“.....And I spent the next twenty-four hours redecorating her house while we listened to speed metal. She made me come with her to about fifty different stores that all had the exact same merchandise for almost the exact same prices, too. .....Bargain hunting is actually kind of fun.”
“And that was the most girl-like thing you have ever said,” Naruto stated.
“Whatever. We had to get those red drapes out of there fast and for a good price, because they seriously clashed with the purple carpet.”
“I stand corrected.”
“.....Shut up.”
“I’m gonna have a talk with her! I thought she was actually going to DO something!”
-
At this exact moment, Shikamaru and Choji were up on Shikamaru’s roof, watching the clouds pass in front of the stars. It had rained last night, but this night was a good deal better, so they would occasionally see the glint of starlight when an opening revealed itself.
“Choji?” The skinny one asked.
“Yeah?” The not-skinny one replied.
“Listen to what I heard, earlier today.....”
Shikamaru’s Story
Shikamaru was minding his own business, walking around the village in a lazy and casual manner, heading to meet up with Choji so they could go and grab some lunch at that curry place Ino liked. It was during this casual walking that the genius ninja spotted Naruto, talking fervidly with Lee, complete with waving arms and odd facial expressions. Now, Shikamaru had two options, here. He could either approach his two friends and see what was going on, or he could just walk away and pretend he hadn’t even seen them. The two certainly hadn’t seen him, yet, so that was quite the possibility. Naruto had been, of late, acting rather.....freaky, to put it lightly. It was only after taking a deep breath and convincing himself that statistically he had to catch the orange-clad ninja at a normal time that he made his decision.
Shikamaru Nara, now decided, hurried up to the two from behind only to hear Naruto exclaim rather emphatically, “.....And Sakura-chan was all like, ‘Put it in, put it in, put it in!’, and I was trying so damn hard.....” He quickly wheeled around, and made off in the opposite direction. Goddamn, the odds were laughing in his face. No, seriously, no. He turned back around in defiance, ready to figure this out.
As he approached the two once again, Lee hanging on Naruto’s every word like it was divine gospel, the lazy ninja heard the blonde practically shout, “.....It was just so wet, it kept slipping out!” Oh, son of a bitch! He should have just kept walking the other way! This is what he turned to do, only to find himself turning right on back around to confront Naruto, yet again
Now Lee was bouncing up and down with Naruto in excitement, both getting really into the conversation, youth practically bursting from their pores. This time, Shikamaru heard, “.....So, finally, Ino grabbed it and helped me get it in. Man, you should have seen the look on Sakura-chan’s face!”
If only Shikamaru had hung around a few seconds later, he would have discovered that the two were talking about a tent peg that refused to bend to the will of its owner, and not whatever it was that he was thinking, currently. At any rate, the lazy ninja rushed away from the two, realizing that statistics weren’t going to be of any help to him, when Naruto was involved. He was like an anomaly that the Nara couldn’t insert into his calculations. .....Or something. In his flight, the young man bumped shoulders with Ino in passing, who offered him a simple ‘hey’ as she passed.
“You filthy whore!” The male spouted, whipping around and pointing at her.
“I missed you too, dick head,” The girl waved him off, never even breaking her stride.
-
“So.....is it just me, or is something weird going on?” Shikamaru asked his well-rounded friend, who was munching on a bag of chips, typically enough.
“.....It’s just you,” He replied through a mouthful.
“.....Whatever.”
-
With a long drawn out sigh, Ino lay on her bed, her blow up doll beside her.
“I’ve had a bad day, Mr. Dickles, can I talk to you?” The girl confided in her anatomically exaggerated, and perpetually excited, doll. She lazily brought her hand up and gave the plastic tube that was Mr. Dickles’ manhood a squeeze, causing the doll’s voice box to speak. In a voice that sounded suspiciously like Brad Pitt’s, the man toy replied ‘Oh, yeah, baby.....’
“Thanks. I just.....It’s about Naruto.....” She gave the tube another squeeze, which prompted another remark from the doll, ‘Damn! What a pussy.....’
Ino shrugged, “I used to think that, too, but.....I don’t know. He just seems different, lately. I thought I hated him.....Or at the least that I was embarrassed to even be seen with him, but now.....I don’t know, it’s embarrassing,” Another squeeze of the man tube, another response, ‘Don’t stop now, baby.....’
“Well.....” Ino murmured, “Ok. This is what happened.....”
Ino’s Story
She wasn’t going to lie to herself. Her first reaction when she made it back to the village was to make a mad dash for Sasuke’s place. Ino, however, found that wasn’t what she did. Her mind was saying ‘What are you doing, you crazy bitch? Sasuke’s waiting, baby!’, but her heart was saying ‘What are you doing, you crazy bitch? Naruto’s waiting, baby!’. Her body, though, seemed intent on taking her home. Even though her personal self wanted to split up and go three different ways, the way she went may have been the best way of all. For on this way, she was spotted by her lead jounin, Asuma, who was able to read the confusion and need for help all over her face.
The man approached her, doing what he did every time he saw her: Block from memory the girl that looked like her in Sapphic Femme, “What’s wrong, Ino? You’re looking a little lost, in your own village, no less.”
Ino was a little surprised by the sound of his voice, but hid it as she replied, “Uh, it’s nothing. I’m just having a little.....relationship trouble, that’s all. I know, it’s not something you can help with,” She recalled how in the past, Asuma hadn’t been very good at any sort of help in any form that involved boys. Or women. Or nicotine patches. So the next words that came from the jounin’s mouth surprised her.
“Why don’t you come get a drink with me? I’ll see what I can do.”
-
In a matter of minutes, the girl found herself sitting beside the man in one of Konoha’s bars, though each was quiet. She eventually opened her mouth to speak, but Asuma raised a hand to keep her quiet, “Ino, I know that you’re at an age where stuff gets confusing. It’s like that for Naruto, too.”
Ino felt her throat tighten up at the mention of Naruto. Asuma didn’t know that she had a crush on that spaz, did he?
“I recently had a talk with him about what he looked for in a girl, and I think that it can work for you, too. He told me.....that what he wanted from a girl most of all was their friendship. That he wanted someone who could be content to just sit with him, and maybe even have a cup of ramen. This is what he really wants from a girl, and he isn’t going to settle for something less than that,” Asuma spoke of Naruto with a glint of light in his eyes, “And you shouldn’t settle for less than what you want, either, Ino. Really ask yourself what you want, and stick with it. Go for it. What’s stopping you from getting out of your ‘relationship trouble’? Not a thing, I’d bet.”
Ino nodded weakly, though she knew that her pride would have something to say about it.
“Then what are you doing, sitting with this old guy in a bar?”
-
Ino knocked on Naruto’s door, and was greeted with the surprised face of Naruto, who was quick to state, “Sasuke’s not here.”
Ino raised an eyebrow, “Why would you just assume I’m looking for Sasuke?” She asked sourly.
“Because you’ve been obsessed with Sasuke ever since ever? Because you haven’t seen him in a whopping two days and you’re having withdrawals? Because you’re perverted and hope that Anko made Sasuke perverted? Because you’re Ino? Would you like me to keep going?” Naruto, now, took his turn to raise his own eyebrow. He noticed that the blonde girl was keeping her hands behind her back, as though to hide something.
“Actually, I’m here for.....something.....” She mumbled the last part, lowering her once raised eyebrow as if in defeat, the defeat of her pride by her heart.
“Well, I’m kind of busy right now, so what is it?”
“Busy doing what? Watching that porn tape again?” Ino tried to lighten the unpleasant mood by making a weak joke. Sure, they hadn’t particularly enjoyed their last mission together, but they had to get by it, at some point.
“Doing stuff, ok? Look, I’ll talk to you tomorrow!”
She winced as the door was slammed in her face, hanging her head a little as she stood there for a few seconds. Idly, she brought her hands around from her back, looking at the two cups of instant ramen she had brought with her, “I need to go to bed,” She whispered to herself, leaving the ramen by the door and walking away.
-
“But I can’t fall asleep.....” She finished telling her story to Mr. Dickles, who had only one thing to say as she gave him one last squeeze, ‘Let’s come together, baby.....’
-
Genma looked from one face to the other, to the other, to the other. He stopped at one in particular, his mouth falling open, “Shizune!?” After two days of being trapped in the equipment closet, the four people had been found. .....And Gai won the game of charades.
-----Author’s other note: Holy crap, what a huge chapter. If you didn’t like the more serious parts and plot development, then tough. Cry me a river. If you did, cool. I don’t know what to tell you is coming next, because the winner of a lemon contest at Naruto Forums actually gets to decide the next arc. I can assure you, however, that the story will take a turn for the more comedy-centric, again.
Thanks for all of the reviews! Seriously! I mean it, I’m not just saying thanks because it’s the polite thing to do, or because my fingers need the exercise, here.
Thanks for reading.....-----
The two young men sat together in mutual silence, though both were practically bursting with the desire to speak. Each had questions and adventures that they had for the other, but neither was sure how to go about putting them into words. After all, some things were to be spoken of, and some were not. Right now, both had to ponder if what they had to say was something that should be said, or something that should remain unsaid.
The two young men were none other than Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha. They had recently been reunited in the streets of Konoha, simply by chance. .....Well, ok, so maybe it hadn’t been so much ‘chance’ as much as it had been Ino and Sakura sprinting around while looking for him, dragging Naruto with them because ‘He was a part of this’. The pink-haired genin had no idea what Sasuke had been through since last she saw him, back in the hospital. She was still haunted by the memory of him singing the Weather Girls. At any rate, she asked Ino no further questions about what she had done, exactly, to Sasuke, because she didn’t need to know. She was better off not knowing. The only important thing was that the love of her life was ungayed, and hopefully ungayed like hell.
It was an odd twist of friendship and alliances that brought the two males together this night, each seeking the brotherly understanding and solidity of the other to help them find their way through the miry trenches of the sex and all of the intimidating things that it came with. As Naruto thought this, he couldn’t help but shiver. Sasuke? Brotherly? He hoped not. The young Uchiha wanted to kill his blood brother, so maybe that was a road he didn’t want to go down.
It was an odd twist of fear and indigestion that brought the two shinobi together in Naruto’s apartment, he sought escape from the frightening estrogen by the names of ‘Sakura’ and ‘Ino’, and found it in a place neither one wanted to go: Naruto’s place. At least, that’s what the Uchiha prodigy believed, at the time of his decision.
“Uh.....You want some.....I don’t know, here.....” Naruto reached over to the little bowl of treats that he had found packaged up for him at his door, waiting for his return. The package had definitely been a nice one, all laced up and more expensive looking than the goodies it contained. Nonetheless, it was a pleasant surprise to come home to.
Sasuke reached to grab one of the colorful pieces from the bowl, even if a little nervously, “Y-Yeah, I likes me some candy.....” He muttered below his breath, popping the sweet into his mouth.
Naruto forced a smile, because forced was the only way it was going to come, right then. For one, he knew Sasuke didn’t like sweets at all, and for two, “That was pretty un-Sasuke-like.”
“I know, I know,” He’d never admit that he only said it because he was anxious and just said the first thing that came to his mind. .....The first thing that wasn’t: ‘Get that rainbow colored dog shit away from me’, anyway, “It was pretty out of character.”
“No kidding. The only way it could have been more out of character would be if you had said something like ‘I love you, Naruto, and I always have’, or something gay like that.”
The two shared a laugh, then both got real serious, Sasuke stating rather bluntly, “Yeah, hell would have to freeze over and women would have to unanimously vote chocolate as their least favorite food for that to happen.”
“And we’re going with the chocolate thing as the less likely of the two?”
“You bet your ass, we are. Needed a safety net in case hell does freeze over.”
“Good thinking.”
The two, both feeling a little more relaxed now that they had made it clear that Sasuke would NEVER have any kind of amorous feelings for Naruto, not that it was ever really an issue as they were simply making small talk. The blonde of the two opened his mouth to finally ask how Anko’s treatment had been, but a knock at his door caused him to shut it just as quickly.
“Oh, crap!” Sasuke yelped, ducking down in front of the couch to hide.
“How ninja-like,” Naruto mumbled.
“If it’s Sakura or Ino, I’m not here!”
“Ha! There’s no way it’s either one of them, don’t worry about that. They’d never show up here. It’s probably just Iruka-sensei. Whoever it is,” Naruto stood up, moving for the door, “We need to talk about some stuff, so I’m just gonna send them away.”
As the genin reached for the doorknob, he felt kind of sad that he could only see Iruka coming to see him of his own free will. Ah, who cares? He pulled the door open, gawking at the person before him in surprise. After a few seconds of the two staring at each other, Naruto finally lied, “Sasuke’s not here.”
Ino raised an eyebrow, “Why would you just assume I’m looking for Sasuke?” She asked sourly.
“Because you’ve been obsessed with Sasuke ever since ever? Because you haven’t seen him in a whopping two days and you’re having withdrawals? Because you’re perverted and hope that Anko made Sasuke perverted? Because you’re Ino? Would you like me to keep going?” Naruto, now, took his turn to raise his own eyebrow. He noticed that the blonde girl was keeping her hands behind her back, as though to hide something.
“Actually, I’m here for.....something.....” She mumbled the last part, lowering her once raised eyebrow as if in defeat, though what kind of defeat Naruto knew not.
“Well, I’m kind of busy right now, so what is it?”
“Busy doing what? Watching that porn tape again?” What creeped Naruto out the most was that he caught a hint of hopefulness in Ino’s voice. He restrained himself, and didn’t call her a pervert. Again.
“Doing stuff, ok? Look, I’ll talk to you tomorrow!” He slammed the door in her face, locking it and hurrying back over to his couch.
“Is she gone?” Sasuke asked weakly, still keeping down behind the couch.
“Yeah, I think so. I wonder what she wanted, anyway?” The blonde asked, sitting back down.
“This might sound kind of weird coming from me,” Sasuke rose to his feet, then just as quickly sat himself down beside Naruto, “But don’t you think that was a little cold of you? Dismissing her, like that?”
“What are you talking about?” Naruto asked, grabbing the little bowl of candies and popping one into his mouth, “It was just Ino.”
Knowing full well that he should say something along the lines of ‘You should be nicer to her, especially since no one ever visits you’, but not caring enough to do so, Sasuke merely shrugged, “Ok, so who wants to go first? We have some talking to do, let’s do it.”
With a single nod, Naruto spoke, “I’ll do it. I’ll go first. Let me tell you all that has happened to me since I last saw you, particularly, allow me to speak to you of last night.....” The young ninja spoke in an uncharacteristically sage-like tone, putting his chin in his hand.....
Naruto’s Story
“PUT IT IN! PUT IT IN! PUT IT IN!”
“I’m trying, I’m trying! .....It’s too wet, down here, I can’t!”
“Here, let me help!”
And with those words, Ino reached down and grabbed the long, thick object that was so troubling her two friends, much to Naruto’s pleasure. Sakura, who had been the first to speak, was practically dying at this point, so wet that anyone a mile away would have been able to notice. She was fidgety as hell, and wanted Naruto to get it in so bad that she could barely stand it.
As Ino guided Naruto with precision and power, his hard tool found its way into the moistness, locking in. This brought out a ‘thank God’ sigh from Sakura, a cheer of triumph from Naruto, and a pleased smirk from Ino.
“I’m in!” The blonde cheered, thrusting with all of his might to get it in the furthest he could. It took so much work to actually get it in there, he was definitely not gonna let it come back out. Damn, it felt good to finally get the thing in there. After a couple of seconds, the male asked, “Now what?”
“NOW WHAT?” Ino shrieked, grabbing Naruto by the hair, “Don’t play stupid!”
Lightning crashed through the sky, thunder pounding across the plains as the three ninja remained outside, still setting up their tent. Naruto, with Ino’s help, had just successfully managed to get a rather stubborn tent peg into the soaked ground, which had been reluctant to keep a hold of the tool. All three were drenched to the bone by the blankets of rain as they plummeted down to earth, but Sakura seemed more affected by it than the other two, desperate to get inside and get out of her cold clothes.
A few moments of frantic peg pounding later, the three ninja found themselves stuffed in the tent, each one colder than the next. To make matters worse, their packs with spare clothes had been soaked through, as well, so they had no dry clothes to change into.
‘Ah, weather’s trying to make me his bitch by forcing me into this position!’ Sakura groaned inwardly, ‘I’ll have to take my clothes off or I’ll get dead sick! And Naruto’s here! It’s like stupid weather knew about the promise, all along!’ “I was going to do it anyway!” She shouted to the top of the tent.
“D-Do what, Sakura-chan?” Naruto asked, wishing a split second later that he hadn’t. Sakura’s fist, as it was quite prone to doing, slammed into his face, knocking him over.
“Nothing, you sick pervert!” She snapped, turning so that her back was facing him.
“What did I say?” He asked in a moan from the ground, holding his nose as he did.
Ino, who had just laid her sleeping bag out so that the part of it that had the most dryness left (Which wasn’t much, unfortunately) was facing upward, turned an icy glare onto Naruto, “Just stop talking and turn around.”
“Last time I stopped talking and turned around,” Naruto mumbled as he sat up, “Kiba grabbed my boxers and lifted me into the air with them.”
“Well this time when you stop talking and turn around, I’m going to take my wet clothes off. So do it!”
Naruto, who turned around so fast that it kicked up its own wind, had to admit that sounded a mite better than his last shut up and turn around experience. He had wound up throwing those boxers away. Actually, it sounded more than just a mite better, it sounded a BIT better. Wait, no, it sounded.....WAIT! NO! This was bad! He was going to be as bad as that perverted hermit, at this rate! All he could think about was Ino and Sakura in wet clothes, only not in them for long! It was one of.....wait.....what the hell? Naruto brought his hand up to his mouth, wondering what the strange warm sensation was. He touched his lips a little, then looked at the tips of his fingers to find red.
Red? He traced the little trickle up to his nose, his eyes widening in fear as he realized that the red substance was coming from his nose! ‘Oh, freaking crap! This isn’t supposed to happen in real life, is it!? I must have blown something in my head when I was pushing the tent peg in! That’s the only reasonable explanation! I’m gonna die!’
Ino’s arm brushed the blonde’s neck as she lifted her shirt over her head, the gentle touch sending chills up the male’s spine. He caught himself trying to peek over his shoulder, but quickly pinched himself in the leg as hard as he could to make himself stop. The little stream of red had grown just a little wider. Before he knew what was happening, Sakura’s leg was rubbing up against his lower back as she struggled to get the clothes off, which were clinging to her due to the water.
‘NO! Only more blood is coming out!’ A panicked Naruto screamed to himself as he brought both hands up to cover his face and try to staunch the flow. The more the girls ‘accidentally’ touched him, the more nervous he became, and the more his nose shed the red, ‘Why can’t I just be dying!? I’m not a pervert!’
“Naruto-kun?” Sakura asked in a shy voice, which caused Naruto to slowly turn his head to look at the one who addressed him. The pink-haired genin was sitting with her legs tucked beneath her, holding her wet clothes up to her naked form, concealing her chest and just barely covering everything else Naruto shouldn’t be seeing. Ino was right beside her, her clothes wrapped around her waist, her back facing him. She was looking at him over her shoulder and letting just a slight blush show on her face.
“Wh-Wh-Wha-Wha......Wh-Wha......” Wow, never before had one person had so much trouble saying one simple word. Even so, Sakura took it he meant to say ‘what’.
“Could you please hand me a blanket, Naruto-kun?”
Faster than you could say ‘two naked girls’, Naruto had flung a blanket at Sakura and dove out of the tent to lie on the ground about twenty yards away. He didn’t care that it was raining, he needed a minute to think. Yeah, think.
Sakura exhaled deeply, wrapping herself up in the blanket, “Oh my God, I thought I was going to puke.”
Ino grabbed the other end of the blanket and pulled it up to cover herself, as well, “Oh, shut up! We only have to do it once, and remember, we said ‘light’ practice. He isn’t going to put anything in anywhere!”
“Then how the hell are we supposed to show him anything? He’s a Narut.....I mean, a guy! He’s gonna try and stick it somewhere!”
“That might not be true,” Ino stated in a low voice, “For all we know, he ran out there to take care of business, himself.....”
Sakura frowned, “I’m not sure I follow.....” She admitted a little sheepishly.
“You know.....Spanking the monkey? Choking the chicken? Flogging the dolphin?”
The medic ninja frowned a little more, “Why do you hate animals so much?”
“‘Cause they’re sneaky little bastards, but that’s not the point! I mean Naruto’s probably out there.....masturbating.....”
The blonde had to stop talking to allow Sakura the time to gag back her vomit. After a few seconds, she continued, “But seriously, that’s a good thing!”
Still swallowing hard, Sakura looked at her friend like she was insane, “How on EARTH can you say that Naruto.....pleasuring.....” Another wave of nausea, “Himself.....is a good thing!?”
“Because! He’ll have already busted a nut and won’t need to do it with us!”
“He’ll have WHAT!?”
“You know! He’ll be out of man milk!”
This time a little bit of the vomit made its way up into her mouth, but she managed to keep it all down, “I hate you so much,” Sakura admitted.
“Hate me all you want, but right now I’m your best damn friend, so deal with it! When he comes back in here, we’re going to show Naruto how to get a girl ready for sex.....” Ino nodded a little bite, rubbing her chin sagely.
Sakura, with goose bumps all over from the cold, at least that’s what she hoped, gathered the courage to ask, “And how are we going to do that?”
“By having one of us instruct him on what to do to the other, and taking turns being the guinea pig.”
“WHAT!? You’re disgusting! I don’t want Naruto doing things to me that you tell him to!” Then Sakura found a flaw with this design, one she hoped she could exploit, “Ok, that’s fine! Since it’s a guinea pig, then, you go first! After all, you’ve got the pig part down just fine!” She could probably get Ino into it enough that she would never have to touch Naruto even once! She’d just have to do her best to get both blondes lost in the moment so they’d lose track of her, altogether!
With a smirk that belied her true understanding of Sakura’s intentions, Ino nodded, “That’s fine, billboard brow. I’ll go first. Unlike you, I know how to handle myself in passionate situations.....”
“You can’t even use the word ‘passionate’ in any context when Naruto’s involved. .....Unless you throw ramen in there, too. And shut up! We agreed not to talk about the shoot, remember!?” Sakura blushed a cherry red.
“I’m just saying, I can handle myself better than you can, and I’m going to prove it,” The blonde leered at her rival.
“And how are you going to do that, porker?”
“I’ll bet that by the end of our little practice session, I’ll have you begging Naruto for the real deal.”
“Pssh, like hell! I’d rather get the real deal from a tree. Ok, I’ll bet I can get you to beg Naruto for it, too! Winner gets first shot at Sasuke-kun when we get back home!”
Ino and Sakura shook hands, then sat in silence to await Naruto’s return.
Naruto, who was at the moment lying on his back staring up at the roiling clouds above him, knew that tonight was the night. If it wasn’t fate conspiring against him, or for him depending on your perspective, then it was surely the girl’s doing. There was no way Sakura would attach a ‘kun’ to his name under any normal circumstances. That meant that they were in there, right now, waiting for him to come back so they could get it going, “I don’t know if I’m ready for this.....” He whispered to himself, though he hardly heard it over the rain.
That was when fate really did conspire for Naruto, throwing him some assistance. Or, more accurately, a book. And it seriously threw it at him, the book landing smack on his face. Confused, the blonde grabbed the book and squinted to read the title in the darkness. He could feel it was all laminated, so he wasn’t worried about the rain ruining it. The title read ‘How to Break a Woman, by ..................’
“The author’s name is scratched out.....well, whatever! Thank you, Gods! This is just what I needed! Now I’ll just speed read a little bit, and I’ll be good to go!”
-
Jiraiya nodded slowly, grinning evilly to himself as he watched his heir reading the book as fast as he could, “With my newest, most surefire invention, Naruto, you will become a lady killer faster than any could ever comprehend.....” Veiled in the shadows of the storm, Jiraiya prepared his night vision goggles so he could watch the soon to come action.
-
“Wait,” Sasuke interrupted Naruto’s tale-telling, “So a book flew out of nowhere and hit you in the face?”
Naruto nodded, slightly aggravated by Sasuke’s intrusion upon his turn, “Yeah, why would I lie!?”
The Uchiha shrugged, “I don’t know, it just seems really suspicious. .....But why would Sakura and Ino suddenly come onto you, like that? They hate you, don’t they? Well, sort of hate, I guess.”
The hyperactive ninja froze, realizing that he hadn’t told Sasuke the reason the girls would do something like that with him! He couldn’t! Then Sasuke would know that it was Ino’s and his own plotting that had led him into Anko’s ungaying trap! He had to come up with a clever and witty lie, right now! “Uh.....they were emotional because.....they were.....uh, on their period! Yeah!”
Sasuke opened in his mouth and tilted his head back in the universal ‘Oh!’ motion. A couple of seconds went by before he spoke again, “Er, what’s a period?”
“It’s a time period of sadness that girls have sometimes, and only flying toys and ice cream can fix it. I don’t know why, but that’s what I’ve found out, so far.”
Nodding a little bit, Sasuke thanked Naruto and bid him continue.
Naruto’s Story, continued.....
The young ninja stuffed the handbook into his pant’s back pocket, slowly moving for the tent through the rain and wind. He held his breath in fear and anticipation, though he knew he would be fine. The worst that would happen is that Sakura might punch him in the face again, and that was something he was used to. Hell, it might as well be how she says ‘hi’. More than anticipation, though, Naruto felt an overpowering sense of confidence. Even though he had only read a few of the pages of the book, he felt it working its magic on him, somehow. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but something had changed.....Whatever it was, he knew that now was the time to put the book to the test!
Sakura and Ino both jumped a little as Naruto pulled the tent flap open, both girls turning wide eyes to him as they gulped down their anxiety. Naruto held out a hand to the two, hoping one would take it and pull him into the tent. It was mostly a gesture to see how they were feeling, at the moment, and their reaction told him plenty.
Sakura stared at the hand with a grimace, hoping it hadn’t been doing what she thought it had been doing, “Er, what w-were you doing out there?”
He gave them a little smile, climbing into the tent without any help, “I just needed a few minutes to think about some things.” The ninja unzipped his orange vest, but left his pants on.
Maybe it was hearing Naruto’s voice in a serious tone, or maybe it was hearing that he thought, or maybe it was because they were getting sick from the cold, but both Ino and Sakura found themselves staring into his deep blue eyes and wondering what had happened in those few minutes that stopped his nosebleed, brought confidence back into his once failing voice, and made them feel as though they were the ones who were perverted, not him. Sakura almost wished she could take back that last punch to the face.
“Wh-What things?” Ino asked quietly, surprised at how tiny and insignificant her voice sounded. Usually she was boisterous and domineering, it just wasn’t coming out like that, now!
“Just.....about this, about now. .....About us, and what we’re doing. Girls, I know that you made a promise, and.....I’m up here.”
Sakura and Ino quickly looked up into Naruto’s eyes, both red from being found out. They had been gazing at his chest and how his soaked shirt clung to his every muscle. The pink-haired ninja was licking her lips before she could stop herself.
“And.....well, I wouldn’t want to do anything that would jeopardize what we have, already,” Naruto had to fight to keep the red from his face, though he was pretty sure it was showing in his ears. If it was so dim in the tent, he would have bet his life they could see his embarrassment. He couldn’t believe how corny he sounded, but he was just following the instructions of the mysterious book, “You both mean too much to me.....for me to ever make you feel so bad about this.”
“W-We don’t feel bad!” Ino piped up, raising her arm as she did. The blanket started to slide away from her slender form, but she caught it with her other hand just in time.
Naruto laid out his own sleeping bag, which was mostly wet, too. He opened it up and eased himself inside, and then began to get his pants off, “And that’s why neither of you would even touch my hand. It’s ok, if you don’t want to, I don’t want to. I’d never want to make either of you do anything you didn’t want to do, promise or not.” He pulled his pants out of the sleeping bag that now concealed him, and lobbed them aside.
The two girls stared at the discarded clothing in unison, then stared at the back of Naruto’s head, which was all he had left revealed for them to see. They were both thinking the same thing: Please don’t talk anymore!
Alas, they did not get their wish, “I’ve gotten used to it. I’ve learned to accept it.....that no one would ever want to touch me, that maybe.....maybe I’m supposed to be alone. After all, who would want to touch a monster?”
And this was when Naruto put his resolve to the test. Not only did he have to open up emotionally, but now he had to do something that only the most masculine of men could walk away from intact: He had to cry. But how? The last time he had really had a good cry was when Mr. Ichiraku shut down for a week to fix a pest problem. Oh, yep, that was doing it.....
Before he knew what was going on, Naruto felt a warm body slide into his bag right beside him, and the girl took his hand in her own, “Naruto,” The voice was Sakura’s, “I want to do this.”
The blonde turned to look at her, still holding her hand. Sakura’s face only got redder as she saw the lone tear meandering down his cheek, and she wiped it away with her hand as she cupped his cheek, bringing him in for the kiss.
-
“Yes......the harem angels sing my praises, for I have created a new hero for them to glorify.....” Jiraiya grinned evilly, rubbing his hands together as he surveyed the scene unfolding before him with his infrared technology, the most high-tech in voyeurism, “Less than ten minutes with my new book, and he’s making out with a naked girl in his sleeping bag while another one watches.....I still got it. After all......Wait.....what happened?” Jiraiya, though one of the finest ninjas and perverts in the land, was still unable to hear the three inside because of the rain, and was thus confused and displeased to find the situation changing from what he had assumed to follow shortly after.
-
What do perfect kisses, sitting in a boring class, and really awkward situations all have in common? Easy: Time stands still for all of them. That’s why Naruto was so stunned when he found that it wasn’t like that, for him. It lasted a good long five or so seconds, and he was acutely aware of every last nanosecond of it, but fireworks didn’t burst into life above their tent, angels didn’t sing, no light hit them at just the right angle, and time didn’t stop for them.
Sakura’s lips slowly left his, a shuddering breath escaping her as she slid her hand from his cheek and down his neck to his chest, where it came to a stop. Though he should have been the happiest man alive, having just kissed the girl he had wanted to kiss for as long as he could remember, Naruto’s eyes were dim with a sad realization: What if he didn’t really love her?
Ino had been watching this entire thing happen in awe, not sure exactly why she was trembling. Excitement? Perverted senses, tingling? .....Jealousy? This situation was just as much her own as it was Sakura’s, but why was she unable to capitalize off of it? Why did she want to capitalize off of it? Naruto was ok, but he was stupid and weird most of the time. Sure, he was brave, strong, nice, easily manipulated, innocent as a little girl in Sunday school, and ripe for the corrupting, but he was also cute. .....That wasn’t what she meant to think, she meant to think he was also smoking hot in his wet shirt. NO! NOT NARUTO! ‘I need to say something!’ She panicked, and said the first applicable thing that came to her mind.
“You lose.”
“God dammit.....”
“I told you, you can’t handle these situations.”
Naruto frowned, looking to Ino for an answer, “Lose what?”
“The bet! Sakura said she’d rather get it from a tree, and I said that by the end of the session, she’d want it from you!” Ino claimed triumphantly.
“Same for you, though, right?” The blonde asked the other blonde, who grimaced, hanging her head in shame.
Naruto plucked his hand free from Sakura’s who grinned a little at him, embarrassed and ashamed, “Naruto, l-look.....”
Cutting her off, Naruto asked, “And what were you betting?”
Neither one wanted to say it, but a severe look from Naruto brought it out of Sakura, “Loser has to let the winner get first shot at Sasuke when we get back home.”
“Sasuke.....” Naruto let out a deep sigh, holding out his hand to Ino, “Of course. Hand me my pants.”
“N-Naruto, it’s still-”
“Less talking, more pants.”
Ino grabbed Naruto’s pants, a book falling out of the back pocket as she lifted them up. She handed the clothing to the boy, then grabbed the book, reading the title aloud, “How to Break a Woman? I-Is this what you were doing out there?”
“.....Maybe.....” The offended blonde used the most universally handy response of all time.
Ino flipped it open, and Naruto began to get a sinking feeling in his stomach. Even worse than the one he had a few seconds ago, “It gives steps on.....the hell? You.....did these things!” She threw the book at Naruto, “You tried to get us to.....with steps listed in a book? That’s pathetic!”
Sakura looked at Naruto with disgust, punching him in the face to get enough space so she could scramble out of the sleeping bag and get back under the blanket with Ino.
Naruto wasn’t going to argue for himself by saying that one of the steps was to be honest with what you say, because they wouldn’t hear it. They all sat there in the tent, looking from one to the other, each surprised and disappointed in the others, and at themselves.
“Maybe.....” Sakura said softly, “Maybe.....we’re not mature enough for this kind of thing, after all,” She whispered, gazing at Naruto in confusion. When she had kissed him, time had stood still. Her heart was still pounding, and her mind was racing. There was no way she could ever feel anything for Naruto, right?
“Is this why Kakashi-sensei told me to ask adults about sex? Because they’re the only ones mature enough to do sex?” Naruto asked weakly, bringing his hand up to his forehead.
“I think.....that we all just need to think about some things.....” Ino mumbled, looking at Naruto, confused about how she was feeling, “Before we do anything else.....”
And think they did, all night long in silence.
-
“And that’s what happened.....” Naruto finished his story, waiting to see what Sasuke’s reaction would be.
“I don’t think maturity has anything to do with sex, at all,” Sasuke stated bluntly, folding his arms and shaking his head.
“Really? Why not?”
“Don’t you remember in the video? They can’t talking about pussies, and hitting them. What mature person is interested in hitting cats? And, I mean, what the hell? Did cats actually have anything to do with what they were doing, at all? No, I don’t think so. And I don’t think they were talking about wussy people, or something, so they must have been talking about cats. What’s mature about that?” Sasuke reasoned, then asked.
Naruto had to admit, talking about cats when you were in the middle of being naked and bouncing around with another naked person didn’t make much sense, and it hardly seemed like the mature thing to do, “I guess you’re right, but.....still, I don’t know what to make of it all. I’m pretty confused about the whole thing.....”
Sasuke patted Naruto on the shoulder, which shook the blonde out of his confusion momentarily. They were on good terms with one another, lately, drawing from their shared strife in the sex. Maybe by the time they got to the end of the treacherous road to understanding it and the girls that you needed for it, they would be like brothers.....Not like Itachi and Sasuke brothers, but normal brothers. .....Not that Naruto wanted that, or anything.
“It’s bad, I know,” The Uchiha sighed, “But we’ve got our whole lives to figure it out.”
“Actually,” Naruto groaned, “Hinata’s birthday is in about ten days. And while I’m not sure sex is the best present to give, I’d still like to try and figure it out before then.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s not possible.”
“Like how it’s impossible to listen to Cher and not be gay?”
“.....Shut up! I’ll listen to whatever the hell I want, and you’re gay for not liking it, too!”
“Hey, hey, no need to get all defensive! Geez.....”
Sasuke eyed Naruto angrily for a moment, then let it go, “So you wanna hear my story, or what?”
The blonde nodded, “By all means, let’s hear it!”
“Well, Naruto, it was something else. At first it was awful, but after she made me come in a few different places, I started to enjoy it.....”
Sasuke’s Story
Sasuke moved to bust Anko’s door down, but the jounin opened it herself and ushered him in without so much as a word. Before he realized what was happening, she had slammed the door shut and locked it. Locked it several times, to be exact. Before he could so much as utter a single word, Anko was dragging him through her place by the wrist.
“Hey, what’s the problem? Why did you need me?” He asked in alarm at Anko’s silent rush.
“I don’t need you. You need me,” Was the simple, albeit confusing, response he got.
“Well, then, what do you want? I’ve got better things to do than waste my time with you.....”
“What do I want, my new toy asks me? I want only one thing, and that one thing is something only you can give me, at the moment. If you don’t give it to me, I’m going to.....well, you don’t need to know, because you ARE going to give it to me. Now, if you’ll just kindly step in here,” Anko asked sweetly, opening up a door to a particularly dark room.
Sasuke, who was normally pretty level-headed when it came to things like.....wait, he’d never been in a situation like this, never mind. All the same, he was a little reluctant to enter the room, so Anko wound up shoving him inside.
“Since you’re gay,” The jounin spoke, looking around her living room, “I figured you could help me with my interior decorating. Right now it’s a little.....anyway, what do you think?”
“INO!” Sasuke called out, “IT’S HORRIBLE! HELP!” Nothing matched, at all! She had purple carpet with red curtains, twenty-year-old plaid couches, a horrific looking monkey lamp, and garbage cans filled with dirty laundry, everywhere! He made a dash for the door, but Anko was in front of him before he got anywhere.
“Oh no you don’t, pretty boy. I’m gonna use up all the gay in you to make my house kick ass. .....You know, like the ones in the magazines. Don’t even try to resist.”
“NARUTO! PLEASE!” The Uchiha called for his other friend, but was greeted only by silence, “They’re already gone.....” He whispered in terror. He was all alone.....
-
“Wait, hang on!” Naruto interrupted, “Are you telling me that all Anko did to ungay you was use up your gayness to redecorate her house!?”
Sasuke kicked the side of Naruto’s leg, “I’m not gay, you ass hole! How many times do I have to say it?”
“Then what did she do when you told her that?”
“.....She laughed.”
“.....And?”
“.....And I spent the next twenty-four hours redecorating her house while we listened to speed metal. She made me come with her to about fifty different stores that all had the exact same merchandise for almost the exact same prices, too. .....Bargain hunting is actually kind of fun.”
“And that was the most girl-like thing you have ever said,” Naruto stated.
“Whatever. We had to get those red drapes out of there fast and for a good price, because they seriously clashed with the purple carpet.”
“I stand corrected.”
“.....Shut up.”
“I’m gonna have a talk with her! I thought she was actually going to DO something!”
-
At this exact moment, Shikamaru and Choji were up on Shikamaru’s roof, watching the clouds pass in front of the stars. It had rained last night, but this night was a good deal better, so they would occasionally see the glint of starlight when an opening revealed itself.
“Choji?” The skinny one asked.
“Yeah?” The not-skinny one replied.
“Listen to what I heard, earlier today.....”
Shikamaru’s Story
Shikamaru was minding his own business, walking around the village in a lazy and casual manner, heading to meet up with Choji so they could go and grab some lunch at that curry place Ino liked. It was during this casual walking that the genius ninja spotted Naruto, talking fervidly with Lee, complete with waving arms and odd facial expressions. Now, Shikamaru had two options, here. He could either approach his two friends and see what was going on, or he could just walk away and pretend he hadn’t even seen them. The two certainly hadn’t seen him, yet, so that was quite the possibility. Naruto had been, of late, acting rather.....freaky, to put it lightly. It was only after taking a deep breath and convincing himself that statistically he had to catch the orange-clad ninja at a normal time that he made his decision.
Shikamaru Nara, now decided, hurried up to the two from behind only to hear Naruto exclaim rather emphatically, “.....And Sakura-chan was all like, ‘Put it in, put it in, put it in!’, and I was trying so damn hard.....” He quickly wheeled around, and made off in the opposite direction. Goddamn, the odds were laughing in his face. No, seriously, no. He turned back around in defiance, ready to figure this out.
As he approached the two once again, Lee hanging on Naruto’s every word like it was divine gospel, the lazy ninja heard the blonde practically shout, “.....It was just so wet, it kept slipping out!” Oh, son of a bitch! He should have just kept walking the other way! This is what he turned to do, only to find himself turning right on back around to confront Naruto, yet again
Now Lee was bouncing up and down with Naruto in excitement, both getting really into the conversation, youth practically bursting from their pores. This time, Shikamaru heard, “.....So, finally, Ino grabbed it and helped me get it in. Man, you should have seen the look on Sakura-chan’s face!”
If only Shikamaru had hung around a few seconds later, he would have discovered that the two were talking about a tent peg that refused to bend to the will of its owner, and not whatever it was that he was thinking, currently. At any rate, the lazy ninja rushed away from the two, realizing that statistics weren’t going to be of any help to him, when Naruto was involved. He was like an anomaly that the Nara couldn’t insert into his calculations. .....Or something. In his flight, the young man bumped shoulders with Ino in passing, who offered him a simple ‘hey’ as she passed.
“You filthy whore!” The male spouted, whipping around and pointing at her.
“I missed you too, dick head,” The girl waved him off, never even breaking her stride.
-
“So.....is it just me, or is something weird going on?” Shikamaru asked his well-rounded friend, who was munching on a bag of chips, typically enough.
“.....It’s just you,” He replied through a mouthful.
“.....Whatever.”
-
With a long drawn out sigh, Ino lay on her bed, her blow up doll beside her.
“I’ve had a bad day, Mr. Dickles, can I talk to you?” The girl confided in her anatomically exaggerated, and perpetually excited, doll. She lazily brought her hand up and gave the plastic tube that was Mr. Dickles’ manhood a squeeze, causing the doll’s voice box to speak. In a voice that sounded suspiciously like Brad Pitt’s, the man toy replied ‘Oh, yeah, baby.....’
“Thanks. I just.....It’s about Naruto.....” She gave the tube another squeeze, which prompted another remark from the doll, ‘Damn! What a pussy.....’
Ino shrugged, “I used to think that, too, but.....I don’t know. He just seems different, lately. I thought I hated him.....Or at the least that I was embarrassed to even be seen with him, but now.....I don’t know, it’s embarrassing,” Another squeeze of the man tube, another response, ‘Don’t stop now, baby.....’
“Well.....” Ino murmured, “Ok. This is what happened.....”
Ino’s Story
She wasn’t going to lie to herself. Her first reaction when she made it back to the village was to make a mad dash for Sasuke’s place. Ino, however, found that wasn’t what she did. Her mind was saying ‘What are you doing, you crazy bitch? Sasuke’s waiting, baby!’, but her heart was saying ‘What are you doing, you crazy bitch? Naruto’s waiting, baby!’. Her body, though, seemed intent on taking her home. Even though her personal self wanted to split up and go three different ways, the way she went may have been the best way of all. For on this way, she was spotted by her lead jounin, Asuma, who was able to read the confusion and need for help all over her face.
The man approached her, doing what he did every time he saw her: Block from memory the girl that looked like her in Sapphic Femme, “What’s wrong, Ino? You’re looking a little lost, in your own village, no less.”
Ino was a little surprised by the sound of his voice, but hid it as she replied, “Uh, it’s nothing. I’m just having a little.....relationship trouble, that’s all. I know, it’s not something you can help with,” She recalled how in the past, Asuma hadn’t been very good at any sort of help in any form that involved boys. Or women. Or nicotine patches. So the next words that came from the jounin’s mouth surprised her.
“Why don’t you come get a drink with me? I’ll see what I can do.”
-
In a matter of minutes, the girl found herself sitting beside the man in one of Konoha’s bars, though each was quiet. She eventually opened her mouth to speak, but Asuma raised a hand to keep her quiet, “Ino, I know that you’re at an age where stuff gets confusing. It’s like that for Naruto, too.”
Ino felt her throat tighten up at the mention of Naruto. Asuma didn’t know that she had a crush on that spaz, did he?
“I recently had a talk with him about what he looked for in a girl, and I think that it can work for you, too. He told me.....that what he wanted from a girl most of all was their friendship. That he wanted someone who could be content to just sit with him, and maybe even have a cup of ramen. This is what he really wants from a girl, and he isn’t going to settle for something less than that,” Asuma spoke of Naruto with a glint of light in his eyes, “And you shouldn’t settle for less than what you want, either, Ino. Really ask yourself what you want, and stick with it. Go for it. What’s stopping you from getting out of your ‘relationship trouble’? Not a thing, I’d bet.”
Ino nodded weakly, though she knew that her pride would have something to say about it.
“Then what are you doing, sitting with this old guy in a bar?”
-
Ino knocked on Naruto’s door, and was greeted with the surprised face of Naruto, who was quick to state, “Sasuke’s not here.”
Ino raised an eyebrow, “Why would you just assume I’m looking for Sasuke?” She asked sourly.
“Because you’ve been obsessed with Sasuke ever since ever? Because you haven’t seen him in a whopping two days and you’re having withdrawals? Because you’re perverted and hope that Anko made Sasuke perverted? Because you’re Ino? Would you like me to keep going?” Naruto, now, took his turn to raise his own eyebrow. He noticed that the blonde girl was keeping her hands behind her back, as though to hide something.
“Actually, I’m here for.....something.....” She mumbled the last part, lowering her once raised eyebrow as if in defeat, the defeat of her pride by her heart.
“Well, I’m kind of busy right now, so what is it?”
“Busy doing what? Watching that porn tape again?” Ino tried to lighten the unpleasant mood by making a weak joke. Sure, they hadn’t particularly enjoyed their last mission together, but they had to get by it, at some point.
“Doing stuff, ok? Look, I’ll talk to you tomorrow!”
She winced as the door was slammed in her face, hanging her head a little as she stood there for a few seconds. Idly, she brought her hands around from her back, looking at the two cups of instant ramen she had brought with her, “I need to go to bed,” She whispered to herself, leaving the ramen by the door and walking away.
-
“But I can’t fall asleep.....” She finished telling her story to Mr. Dickles, who had only one thing to say as she gave him one last squeeze, ‘Let’s come together, baby.....’
-
Genma looked from one face to the other, to the other, to the other. He stopped at one in particular, his mouth falling open, “Shizune!?” After two days of being trapped in the equipment closet, the four people had been found. .....And Gai won the game of charades.
-----Author’s other note: Holy crap, what a huge chapter. If you didn’t like the more serious parts and plot development, then tough. Cry me a river. If you did, cool. I don’t know what to tell you is coming next, because the winner of a lemon contest at Naruto Forums actually gets to decide the next arc. I can assure you, however, that the story will take a turn for the more comedy-centric, again.
Thanks for all of the reviews! Seriously! I mean it, I’m not just saying thanks because it’s the polite thing to do, or because my fingers need the exercise, here.
Thanks for reading.....-----