Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Fetish? What's A Fetish? ❯ Bathtubs And Balloons ( Chapter 17 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

-----Author’s note: After not having any Naruto in my system for about two years, I’ve gone off and read twenty plus volumes of it and recharged my batteries. I know, my name’s different, it’s been so long, I don’t remember what’s going on, etc. etc. For those of you staggering readers that remain, stick with me! I do not own Naruto, but any other characters and ideas are my own. Enjoy.....-----


“Alright, come on, just a little more.....”

“Are you there, yet?”

“Almost.....Whoa, whoa, whoa!”

Thud.

Sasuke looked down at Naruto, who was flat on his back, staring straight up at the sky. “You did not just fall down.”

“Right, I just decided it would be a good idea to lie down.”

“You did not just fall down,” Sasuke repeated.

“Maybe if someone would hold me up steady, I wouldn’t have fallen!”

“I’m sorry, I thought you were a ninja. My mistake.”

The blonde brushed himself off as he rose back to his feet, giving Sasuke a blunt look, “Ok, wise guy. I’ll hold you up and you get us in.”

Four seconds later, Sasuke pulled Naruto up through the smashed window the escaped Anbu member had left in his wake. “Wow, man, that was pretty tough.”

Unbeknownst to the two allies in crookery, they were being watched by a pair of vengeful eyes. And a pair of lecherous eyes. And a pair of love-struck eyes. Stalking was more prevalent in Konoha than most people realized.

Ignoring his friend’s comment, Naruto looked around the dimly lit house. There didn’t appear to be anything strange. No sign of anything that might be a fetish. “Hey, I just thought.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, seriously, geez. We don’t know what fetishes look like, do we?”

Sasuke, too, took a moment to think. “That might be a problem. But we’ve already snuck in here, so we can’t just walk away with nothing, right?”
Naruto pumped his fist, “Right! It’s time to discover what kind of fetishes Anko’s got!”

“Atta boy,” The would-be-emo ninja patted his blonde friend on the back. The two began their search, but it didn’t take them long to establish that there were no fetishes to be found in the living room. Or the kitchen. Although they did find some food. In the refrigerator. And pantry. Which they took.

“It’s not like she’d ever notice,” Naruto muffled out through a mouthful of crackers.

“Let’s try the basement...” Sasuke decided, working on his pear.

The thieving duo opened up the door and descended down the stairs into the even darker basement. Once down there, they fumbled around until they found the light, which they turned on with the pull-string. They found themselves surrounded by what looked like torture devices. And toddler’s toys.

Sort of confused, Naruto picked up a long string of blue beads of varying size, “What the heck is this thing?”

Sasuke eyed the beads in wonder before saying, “It almost looks like some sort of Willy Wonka candy, or something. It’s just plastic, right?”

The blonde ninja gave them a sniff, “Ugh, it smells like a porta-potty!” He tossed the stinky would-be-candy aside, a bad taste in the back of his throat.

“Wait, that might have been a fetish,” Sasuke started after the rancid little jump-rope.

“I don’t care even if it is,” The blonde one halted his friend, “I’m not giving anyone anything that smells like crap!”

With relative indifference, the black-haired boy let it go. Instead, his attention went to the dresser full of leather clothes and chains. He pulled out an outfit and held it up to himself to see how it might look.

Naruto saw him do this and nodded in approval. “You would actually look kinda badass in that stuff.”

“I know, right?” Sasuke sneered, “I’ve always liked leather.”

‘No, really?’ Naruto thought, ‘I never would have guessed.’ He continued to rummage around through the basement’s contents. This was where Anko had trapped that one poor Anbu member, forcing him to do sex with her and who knows what else. All of this stuff didn’t seem to fit that particular bill, though. He picked up a box and looked it over. It read ‘flavored condoms’. ‘Huh, only four flavors?’ Naruto grunted. Having finished his crackers, Naruto decided to open the box up and have at snack number two. Each of the little goodies was wrapped in its own individual package. Not finding any ramen flavored ones, he grabbed a banana one. Upon opening the little square package, he found a slightly gooey ring and rubber. After blinking several times, he took the thing in hand. It unfolded out to reveal that it was actually a water balloon!

“Sasuke, Sasuke, check this out!” Naruto gasped, trotting over to his friend and showing him the condom, “They seriously make flavored water balloons!”

“What the heck are you talking about, Naruto?” The Uchiha asked, setting his leather aside. He took a look at the strangely shaped balloon and said, “Does it seriously have a taste? What taste?”

Naruto raised the condom to his face and stuck out his tongue. Sasuke watched as his friend licked some of the goo from it, “It’s banana, holy crap this is the best thing ever!”

“Are there more?” Sasuke asked. The blonde pointed him to the box, happily licking at the condom. He hurried over to them and pulled out a grape one. Sure enough, when it met his lips he found that it tasted of wonderful grape goodness. And doctor’s gloves. What an ingenious creation! That’s all the Uchiha could think, right then. A water balloon with flavor! He could only imagine how awesome it would be to play water balloons and get hit with a blast of fruity goodness whenever you got hit. Awesome, and sticky.

“Sasuke, check it out,” Naruto called to him. The black-haired boy looked to find Naruto had stuffed a couple of fingers into the balloon, and was now sucking on the condom like a popsicle. “It’s seriously like I got a banana in my mouth right now.”

Sasuke laughed and replied, “I’d swear I was sucking on a couple of big fat grapes, dude.”

That was when these two talented ninja heard the sound of a door opening from upstairs and immediately froze. It couldn’t be that they were busted, could it? They had just gotten there and hadn’t even found what they needed for Naruto’s gift, yet! Their immediate surprise melting away, they rushed around and put the condoms away.

With a sideways glance, Sasuke hissed, “Is Anko already home? Didn’t you check what she was doing tonight!?”

“Of course I didn’t!” Naruto hissed back, “You think any planning or preparation was put into this!? She could have been here the whole time for all I know!”

Repressing the images of killing his stupid friend and then himself, Sasuke dipped into the shadows of the basement. His ally did the same. Slowly, surely, the person upstairs moved around. The duo listened as the footsteps covered the entirety of the first floor before they started to creak down the steps. It was almost as if the person was looking for something...

“Helllloooo...” Anko’s voice floated down the steps like a beautifully horrifying poison. The hairs on both Naruto’s and Sasuke’s necks stood up on end. “Is my nosy little friend down here?” The jounin reached the bottom of the stairs, wearing only a towel and dripping water as she went.

Both boys stopped breathing. If Anko caught either one of them, they were doomed. Doomed to sexual experimentation, torture for pleasure, and evil of the most intriguing nature. This ninja was a formidable opponent, indeed. It also raised the question in both of the hiding male’s hearts. Should one of them be caught by Anko, what does the other one do? Jump in to try and save their friend, or take the opportunity and escape? It was a risky situation. It only grew riskier the longer Anko walked around the room, grinning evilly and talking as she went.

“I was just taking a bath,” The jounin declared in a matter-of-fact manner, “But I do so hate bathing alone. There isn’t anyone down here, right now, is there?” Her dark sneer went nearly black when she continued, “Someone dirty?”

Sasuke grimaced, needing to swallow but afraid to make even that much noise. Anko was starting to sound crazier than he was comfortable with. And seriously, he lived in a village where it was ok to have bugs live inside your body. Like beetles. Really. He stopped thinking about Shino when Anko started to home in on him, drawing closer and closer. If she came much closer, she would see him! He had to think of something or else...or else...

A scraping sound came from upstairs. Anko was up the stairs in a flash, and both boys let out the hot air from their burning lungs. They heard a long wail from upstairs. It sounded like Sakura! But what was that she doing here? Naruto had no idea. But her distraction had saved them, big time.

“Let’s get out of here!” Sasuke whisper-yelled to Naruto, who didn’t think that was such a bad idea. Then again, it seemed a waste to ignore a blessing from above and not take advantage of the opportunity that Sakura had afforded them by her sacrifice.

“Wait,” Naruto whispered back, “Let’s take this chance to grab what we need while Anko’s distracted! We might not get another chance like this one!”

He growled, but Sasuke agreed, “Alright, but we need to be quick and quiet about it!”

And then, upon the realization that they were planning to stay, they both felt a monstrous wave of shame for so readily abandoning their tag-along teammate to look for something to steal. What kind of people were they if they could just leave her in that sex-fiend’s clutches? Who knew what sort of horrible things might happen to her if they didn’t intervene? They recalled Kakashi-sensei’s wise teachings from back when they just became genin. Ninja who abandon their mission are trash, but ninja who abandon their friends are worse than trash.

“And now I’m over it,” Sasuke stated. “Let’s go.”

Naruto, however, had reached a different conclusion. “Sasuke, I need you to do something for me.”

The Uchiha smirked, already knowing what was coming. “Don’t worry, I’ll find you a good one. I’ll bring it to your place tonight, so you’d better be there. Alright?” He held out a fist, which Naruto knocked with his own.

“Count on it! Thanks, Sasuke.”

-

“KYAAAA!” Sakura screamed, not realizing how awkward it was to spell what she was screaming, “NOOOOO!”

“Oh, YES!” Anko growled back, dragging the pink-haired girl towards the bathroom by the ankle. “Little girls who break into mama’s house don’t get to leave until mama breaks into them!”

“HOLY CRAP, HELP ME!” Shrieked the girl, flailing around. She didn’t want someone to break into her! Especially not before they bought her dinner or raised her grade! Anko lobbed her captive into her rather sizable bathtub, sending water sloshing over the sides. After spluttering a little, the genin said, “I just came in here after Naruto, I swear! I wasn’t after anything, please don’t rape me!”

“It’s only rape if you say no,” Anko snickered, inching closer.

“Then I say no! No, no, no!”

The jounin stopped. Curses, foiled again!

“R-Really?” The girl asked anxiously, unable to believe that worked, “You’re gonna let me go?”

“Nah,” The jounin dropped her towel, “But I will bend you over the edge of the bath.”

The bluntness of her sentence and the level of casualness with which she brought out what Sakura could only describe as a plastic two-headed serpent caused all of the courage to fly from the young girl, along with the color in her face and the strength in her limbs. Where were Naruto and Sasuke? Hadn’t they heard her screaming? Of course...of course they would abandon her. Sasuke no doubt left her as a scapegoat so he could escape, since she wasn’t in danger of dying. ...Hopefully. But even Naruto? Was he still so upset with her about what happened after the Sapphic Femme photo shoot? Admittedly, they hadn’t talked at all since then. He had gone off nearly immediately on another mission, and had just got back. It had only been a few days since that unpleasant night in the tent, even if it did feel like two years or so. This was it, it seemed. Sakura closed her eyes, ready to accept her fate. It was time to take it like a woman. She opened them when stomping sounded from outside the closed and locked bathroom door.

The door exploded off of its hinges, and two figures blitzed Anko. ‘Sasuke, Naruto?’ Sakura thought desperately, ‘They did! They did come to save me!’ Anko went flying into the wall with Naruto, who did his damned best to keep her pinned down. The other figure grabbed the soaking wet Sakura. All she could do was stare at him, another Naruto. The shadow clone jutsu! Naruto was trying to save her by himself?

“Quit daydreaming and let’s get out of here!” He shouted, grabbing her hand and spinning around.

“Get off of me, you’re just a stupid clone!” Anko yelled, struggling, “I want the real deal or nothing!”

“Don’t touch the boobies, don’t touch the boobies!” The Naruto was futilely trying to avoid contact with her breasts and doing his damned best not to open his eyes. Seeing his innocent weakness, Anko thrust her chest forward. The clone burst into smoke, momentarily blinding the jounin. She erupted from the bathroom like a horse out the gate, swooping down on the fleeing Naruto and Sakura like a falcon on a couple of poor, defenseless mice. With the speed and grace of a gazelle on steroids, she hurled Sakura aside and duct-taped Naruto to the wall.

Before Anko or anyone else could be described as any other sort of animal, Naruto shouted, “Where the heck did the duct tape come from!?”

Laughing maniacally, the jounin replied, “Always be prepared, that’s what I say. I’ll come back for you after I finish my business with her...” And with that, the woman stalked over to the quivering mass of terror that was Sakura. Before she knew it, she was tossed back into the tub.

“Hang on, there’s something you should know before you do anything else!” The pink-haired girl announced.

“You’re ticklish?” Anko guessed.

“Nope. That you’re a sucker!” Sakura vanished in a poof of smoke, revealing that Naruto was the one in the bathtub!

Anko wondered briefly if that meant that Sakura had transformed into Naruto and was currently trying to escape. She hesitated for a moment, then shrugged, “Whatever, works for me! You have something that Sakura doesn’t, anyway!”

“W-Wait a second,” Naruto fumbled around with his words, “The other thing you should know is that I’m...”

“You’re what?”

The blonde struck the nice guy pose, “That I’m just a clone!” He disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

Anko cursed aloud, rushing back out into the hallway. The Naruto stuck his tongue out at her, then took his turn to vanish. “They were both clones!” The jounin growled. He must have used the shadow clone jutsu to make three clones. One to hold her down, then blind her when he vanished. In that moment, one clone transformed into Sakura. They allowed themselves to be caught to allow the real genin enough time for escape. “Ah, crap,” She muttered, “I got too excited and look what happened. They pulled a fast one on me.”

-

Sasuke, satisfied with what he had snatched from Anko’s house, casually made his way down the streets of Konoha towards Naruto’s place. He figured his friend wouldn’t take too long in rescuing Sakura, so he’d just go wait. Well, that was the plane before a bug-eyed, bowl-cut, tight-wearing ninja stopped him. Coincidentally, Sasuke began to wonder why God hated Rock Lee.

“Sasuke, I challenge you!” Lee shouted, pointing at the prodigy.

With a sigh, the Uchiha replied, “Look, I don’t care how much you want it to be the case, I’m not going to be your eternal rival. I know Kakashi and Gai are like that, but I just don’t see us being anything more than friends. I’m sorry.”

Lee almost blurted out that he thought Sasuke was seeing other rivals, but managed to keep his cool. “It’s not about that!” He exclaimed, “I am challenging you to win back Gai-sensei’s honor after what you did to him on your last mission!”

Sasuke blinked a couple of times before asking, “You mean the whole pimp thing? ...Are you kidding me?” It was at this point that Sasuke realized Lee’s normally green tights were actually purple, now. “Guess not. Look, can we do this another time? I have something I’m doing right now.”

Lee, getting frustrated, said, “No! And come on, this whole ‘revenge for my master’ thing works a lot better when you actually go along with it! Please stop being indifferent!”

“Come on, I didn’t even do anything! I was just kind of a witness. Kakashi was the one who beat Gai. If you want revenge, go and challenge him.”

“Aha, that is where you are wrong!” Lee declared, his teeth glittering as he smiled, “Simply by you being there, you invigorated and encouraged your master! Your youth is catching, and gave him just enough extra spirit to win! If I had been there, surely Gai-sensei would have been victorious! You and Naruto are the pivotal reason for Gai-sensei’s defeat and depression!”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Sasuke asked, “Gai’s had you smoking the medical herbs again, hasn’t he?”

-

It really wasn’t that bad. A little awkward, sure, but she had thought it would be a lot more so. Sakura was in her room, in her little walk in closet, changing into dry clothes. Naruto was closing the window they had snuck into, keeping his wits about him in case Anko had decided to give chase. The entire way to Sakura’s house he felt as though they were being followed. Naturally, he assumed she was pretty pissed about being fooled. Three genin had just broke into her house and gotten off scotch free. He felt a little proud, even though he probably wouldn’t ever tell anyone about it.

“Naruto,” Sakura called from the closet, “Could you get me a towel from the bathroom? I’m already...undressed.”

Saving his sarcastic comments for the likes of Sasuke and other not-naked-Sakuras, the boy did as he was told. The entire time he was moving around he was in a sort of trance. For such a long time he had wanted to get inside Sakura’s room, just to see where she slept. He felt really stupid and corny all of a sudden and turned beet red. Sakura poked her head around the corner when Naruto poked the towel in there, stretching his arm as far as he could.

The girl saw how red his face was, and hers quickly went the same shade, “Why are you blushing? Are you thinking bad thoughts!?”

“O-Of course I’m not!” Naruto shot back defensively.

“Then why are you blushing?” The girl’s head vanished back into the closet.

“I just escaped from a fully-grown, naked woman trying to do sex with you AND me. I think if I’m blushing it’s completely acceptable. Even though I’m not. Anyway, what the heck were you doing there?”

Sakura pulled a shirt over her head, “I was...I was just...” Man, it was embarrassing to say, when she thought about it. Never did she ever think that she would feel this weird about Naruto.

“Well?”

The girl left the closet and sat down on the edge of her pink bed. Naruto couldn’t tell if she was wearing any shorts or not, so long was the shirt. He watched as she patted the open bed next to her, “Can we talk?”

“Sure, I mean, if you want to...” The blonde sat down beside his teammate, his stomach going all flip-floppy. She was looking at him in a way that he wasn’t used to, but he wasn’t real sure how he would describe it. “What about?”

“A couple of things...” She mumbled back, looking away. “First of all, thank you so much for saving me, back there. I really thought that I was screwed. ...Bad pun.”

“Seriously,” Naruto laughed, “That was a close one. But hey, really, what were you doing there?”

Just as clueless as ever, Sakura mused. Softly, she said, “I was following you...”

Surprised, the boy asked, “Why? Did you want something?”

“Well, I wanted to talk to you about what happened on our last mission. You know, in the tent...”

“Nope, we’re good,” Naruto declared boisterously, “I don’t want to talk about that night. We all did something dumb that none of us meant. As far as I’m concerned, that’s over and done with. Let’s just forget about it.”

A little hurt, Sakura asked, “But we kissed.”

The loud ninja now genuinely did turn red, “Y-Yeah, sort of. I don’t want to count that as a real kiss, though. It was all because of that bet you and Ino made, and that dumb book that I read. I don’t think that was really you or me that kissed, just a lie of a moment that we got caught up in.”

“I’m sad to hear you say that,” She said, keeping her eyes low.

“Why? I thought you’d be happy that I didn’t take it the wrong way!”

“I’m sad because for me...that kiss was something very special.”

This was when Naruto, who usually had plenty to say and did so loudly, lost all words. Sakura had just said something to him that he never thought he would hear. She followed it up with another whopper.

“Naruto, I...I think I have feelings for you.”

Think!? How do you think something like that!? Either you do have feelings for someone or you don’t! Argh, how many nights had he wished for this? How many times had he dreamt about Sakura saying those exact words to him? Sure he had been confused about his feelings towards her, lately, but that didn’t very well mean they weren’t there, anymore! The last time they had kissed had been a big fat lie, like he said. It wasn’t a real kiss. Naruto knew that love was one thing he still didn’t comprehend. He was learning that sex was in a galaxy far, far away as far as his understanding was concerned. But this was something different. It was sweet, simple. And somehow, it felt enlightening. Sakura had said feelings. Not love, not anything else. It was a crush, and it was on his level. He began to feel at ease, happy.

“If you didn’t count that last kiss as our first,” Sakura interrupted his thoughts, “Would you kiss me for real, now?”

Naruto brought his eyes up to meet hers. They looked at each other for quite awhile. Her eyes were so deep, then, he thought. He wasn’t sure what color he would use to describe them. Her lips were giving him just as much trouble. They looked so soft and warm, inviting. She closed her eyes, leaning towards him so slowly it felt like time had slowed down. That hadn’t happened before, he realized. At this point, his body basically did the rest for him, regardless of his input, and he leaned in as well. Only when he knew he was going to hit his mark did he close his eyes. Their lips met, and he felt an odd tingling feeling trickle down from his lips to the ends of his fingers. His arm slid around Sakura’s back, and he pulled her in just slightly, cradling her. A few seconds later they separated, each opening their eyes.

A little breathless, Sakura asked, “How was that one?”

Naruto thought for a second, then said, “I have to go.” He rose from the bed and went for the window.

He pulled it open and was just about to jump out when Sakura said, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Naruto. Thanks again, for today.”

Not sure what else he should say, the ninja replied, “Y-Yeah, don’t mention it.” Our young friend certainly had a lot to think about.

-

Asuma, puffing his seventy-fourth cigarette of the day, strolled along the streets of his beloved village of Konoha. Shikamaru had beaten him once again in Shogi, earlier, but what else had he expected? Someone with an IQ of over two hundred was of course going to be difficult to overcome. His day was going rather well, up until the point where Ino ran by him in tears. He called after her, but she didn’t stop. Ino was a tough girl, so he wondered what on earth could have happened that would make her cry...A moment later, he heard a window open up and none other than Naruto Uzumaki came leaping out of it.

The jounin watched as his little blonde buddy went speeding away before he went to the door of the house and knocked. The name above the door read Haruno. Well, it didn’t take our adult friend much effort to guess what might have happened. When he had spoken to Ino about her relationship troubles, he had no idea that it was actually about Naruto. He felt kind of dumb, then. Mrs. Haruno opened up the door. “Can I help you?”

“Yeah, ma’am,” Asuma rubbed the back of his neck, “You wouldn’t happen to have a daughter up on the second floor, would you?”

“Um, yes, why do you ask?”

“Because a boy just climbed out of her bedroom window.”

Asuma walked away to the sounds of the mother screaming bloody murder at the daughter. At least a little vengeance for his pupil’s tears, today. It seemed he would have to have a talk with Naruto, soon.


-----Author’s other note: I honestly forgot how much I loved some of the Naruto characters. It’s nice to write about them, again, even in a story that most people have probably already forsaken! Not that I blame anyone, haha...

Anyway, thanks for reading...-----