Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Fetish? What's A Fetish? ❯ Extra Virgin Olive Oil ( Chapter 19 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

-----Author’s note: Ah, since my last update a lot of unforseen stuff happened which slowed me down. I won’t clog everything up with details. Thanks for everyone’s patience. I do not own Naruto, but any other characters and ideas are my own. Enjoy...-----


“Whoooaaa...” Was all the young Naruto could say at everything that was going on around him. The Hyuuga estate looked like it was being completely remodeled. Scaffolds, towers, and workers were everywhere. The sounds of hammers hammering, drills drilling, and sweaty men sweating filled the air.

Suddenly feeling very out of place, Naruto ascended the steps to the Hyuuga mansion’s door. He couldn’t even tell you how many ladders he had walked under to get there. But hey, he could use all the luck he could get! After taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door. The knocking, itself, sounded distant and quiet amongst the havoc of the construction. What the heck else was he going to do, though?

-

Seriously? It had to be a bad joke. ...Oh, it wasn’t? He was really going to make her do that? Alone? Great. That’s just great. Hinata, defeated, hung her head low and sighed, “Ok, I’ll do it.”

Her father frowned in clear displeasure at his child’s attitude. “You should mind your manners, Hinata,” He said. “A lot of time, money, and hard work is going into this. It won’t kill you to help a little, especially since it’s all for you, anyway.”

“Th-That’s not it, I didn’t mean...”

“Of course you didn’t mean it,” The older one cut her off. “Hinata, sometimes I think you’ve been spoiled to the point of no return. That you would balk at the idea of doing this one thing I’ve asked of you...” Hinata knew what was coming, but that didn’t make it sting any less. “If only you could be more like Hanabi.” The foul-spirited man started to leave, but before he was gone he commanded, “Don’t come back until you’ve caught her.”

Trying real hard not to cry, Hinata walked through the mansion towards the front door to go and retrieve the runaway...guest. She was just so sick of the way she was always treated. She trained so hard, but she couldn’t help that she wasn’t as naturally gifted as Neji or Hanabi, or as naturally pretty as Sakura or Ino. She liked to think she was at least smart, but when compared to her teammate Shino, or Shikamaru, she fell short in that department, too. Nothing quite like a talk-down from your dad to make you feel particularly worse than your normal below average.

Having failed at not crying, Hinata wiped her face dry before opening the door. When she saw who was waiting on the other side, she was glad she had. “N-N-Naruto!? Wh-What are you doing here?”

‘Near debilitating, indeed,’ The addressed boy thought before saying, “Hey, I uh...”
Holy crap.

He was just starting to realize how momentous an occasion this was. Kakashi had sent him on his perilous and horrifying journey of embarrassing discovery simply with a passing joke about her. Half joke. This was the first time he had spoken to her in awhile, and now he realized he was anything but prepared. Now at a loss for what to say in her presence, Naruto simply held out the flowers in the least awkward way he could manage.

A few minutes later, Hinata’s eyes fluttered open. She was sprawled out on the ground and her cheeks hurt from smiling. Naruto was hovering over her anxiously, asking her if she was alright. In response, the Hyuuga asked weakly, “D-Does this mean...I’m not a virgin anymore?”

Not sure what she meant, Naruto asked, “What does any of this have to do with olive oil?” He helped the heiress to a sitting position and asked, “Why did you just pass out all of a sudden? Haven’t you eaten anything today?” Hinata was small. Naruto didn’t have a hard time believing she ate like a model. Meaning maybe a little parsley, if she was feeling dangerous.

“I...I have,” Hinata admitted sheepishly. Immediately afterwards she felt like a moron, because now she had to come up with a reasonable excuse for why she randomly blissed out! “B-But it’s just been so hectic around here, recently...” Aha! That sounded good! “I guess I’m just a little overwhelmed...”

Naruto, being blond, took it hook line and sinker. “It is pretty noisy. What the heck are they doing, anyway? Are you guys adding on, or something?”

A little embarrassed, the girl said, “It’s for...for my birthday.”

“Wow, really?”

“Yeah. E-Every year, my dad holds a big celebration, since I’m the first born of this generation of the head family. Everyone looks forward to it. They call it the Hyuuga Ball.”

“What a creative name,” Naruto rolled his eyes. “How come I’ve never heard of this thing if it’s such a big deal?” When Hinata guiltily looked away, he basically got his answer.

“I-I’ve always wanted to invite you, but...until just recently, n-no one would have anything to do with you...Dad always said no. I-I’m really sorry, I wasn’t trying to be rude!”

The boy shrugged it off. “Whatever, it’s no big deal!”

And then the awkward silence of doom fell upon them. It was like when someone tells a joke that isn’t remotely funny and even the joker realizes it halfway through, but finishes it anyway. We’ve all been there.

In an effort to thwart the demonic silence, Naruto said, “S-So, how did you even hear me knocking with all the construction going on?”

“Oh, I-I didn’t actually. I was just...on my way out.” She sounded sadder and sadder as that sentence went on. Like when you have a pez dispenser. The further it goes on, the closer you come to having an air dispenser with a weird head. That is equivalent to true sadness.

Trying to stop thinking about candy, Naruto exclaimed, “Great!” He pulled her up to a standing position, “I’ll go with you! I was hoping to spend some time with you, today.”

‘ACK!’ Hinata braced herself against the waves of euphoria, ‘Must...not...bliss out...’

“So what are we going to do, today?” He waited for a few seconds, but Hinata seemed unable to form words at this point. She was trembling in nervous anxiety, which is a little redundant. “A-Are you...Are you having a seizure, or something? Hinata? ...You ok?”

‘He said what are WE going to do today!’ The girl was squealing with delight inside. ‘Ok, ok, I have to try and act cool. This is my chance!’ “Yeah, I-I’m ok, sorry.”

“Maybe we should go get some food, first.” Naruto suggested. “You still look a little shaken up.”

-

“WHAT!?”

Mr. Ichiraku, surprised by the sudden outburst, dropped the boiling hot contents of his pot all over the floor. Luckily, he was able to jump back out of harm’s way. “Naruto!” He roared, “Are you trying to give me a heart attack!?”

“You dropped it like it’s hot,” Ayame laughed. Then, realizing that she was of course going to be the one to clean it up, she scolded, “Don’t yell at Naruto because you made a mess! You should be more careful!”

“Sorry, old man!” Naruto called out. He then returned his attention to the flinching Hinata and the ridiculous mission she had been given by her father. “He wants you to go and catch the tiger?”

The Hyuuga nodded somberly. “It escaped last night. We think it’s in the surrounding forests. I-It’s just a matter of tracking and capturing it.”

“And...you have a tiger for...?”

“The tigers are part of the opening ceremony,” Hinata mumbled. “For the Ball.”

“How have I never heard of this thing before!?” Naruto demanded, unable to believe that such a big bash had been kept a secret from him for so long. “Opening ceremony? Geez! Uh, anyway, why don’t you guys just get someone to help you track the tiger? I mean, Kiba would be perfect for this.” And Naruto never thought he’d be able to say Kiba was perfect for anything other than bestiality. ...Not that he even knew what that was, of course.

Hinata gulped down a little bit of her ramen, trying to be as ladylike as possible while eating the unreasonably long noodles. “Dad doesn’t want anyone outside of the family to know that we accidentally...sort of a let a vicious predator loose near the village. You know there are all sorts of ninja attorneys and stuff out there, now. He just wants to avoid a potential lawsuit.”

Naruto could understand that. They had a freaking mansion, after all. He recalled seeing one of those attorney commercials recently...

The ninja attorney slams his fist onto the table, shouting dramatically, “And that PROVES that my client is innocent beyond a doubt, your honor.”

The judge, looking absolutely mortified, points at the motionless prosecutor. “You just decapitated the prosecution! You didn’t even SAY anything!”

“And unless you find my client innocent of all charges,” The ninja attorney hisses, “I’ll kill your family.”

“Uh, actually,” The judge counters, “I’m gonna throw your -BLEEP- in jail right now!”

The camera zooms in on the ninja attorney’s eyes, which narrow to slits, “No matter. I already killed them.” He forms a series of seals...

The next scene shows the outside of the courtroom, looking at the closed doors. The doors slowly open, and the ninja attorney steps out of the courtroom, client safely beside him. Through the doors you can see that everyone in the courtroom has been killed. As the doors close and the ninja attorney approaches the camera, he mutters, “The defense rests.”

“Man,” Naruto said, coming out of his reverie, “Why didn’t I become an attorney?”

“Your grades weren’t good enough,” Hinata replied, trying not to imagine Naruto in a suit. She’d do that, later, when she was alone.

Getting back on subject, Naruto said, “It still seems kind of unfair to make you go look for it. I mean, seriously. It’s a tiger. A people-mauling kitty.”

“I know...I-It’s scary. But I don’t really have a choice...”

This would never do! Hinata, trying to capture a tiger? Alone!? Naruto knew she was a ninja, but that thing would probably eat her! Mutilate her! At least gore her, a little. He couldn’t let it happen! “Don’t worry, Hinata!” He trumpeted, “I’ll help you catch this thing. We’ll do it together!”

“I-I’m sorry,” The Hyuuga said, holding out what looked to be a tape recorder, “Could you say that again, please?”

“I’ll help you catch this thing?”

“No, n-no, the part after that.”

“We’ll do it together?”

The girl shivered, clicking the tape recorder off. Images of Naruto in a suit AND that recording? Forget the tiger, she needed some alone time. Ayame swept in before the girl could excuse herself, throwing a giant monkey wrench in her plans. Seriously, it was more like King Kong’s wrench, to her.

“That sounds really exciting!” The ramen-dishing assistant declared. “I don’t have anything to do after work. Let me go with you!”

‘GODDAMN SON OF A BITCH!’ The younger girl thought. “Oh, g-goodness, I’m sorry...”

“It’s ok,” Ayame grinned knowingly at the heiress, “I can’t hear what you’re thinking.”

The older girl leered malevolently down at Hinata, and the younger girl stared back up at Ayame in a similarly malicious way.

‘I’ve got to stop her from moving in on Naruto,’ Ayame thought. ‘I’m not sure who I want to win the Naruto sweepstakes just yet, but if I had to pick from the eligible contenders you wouldn’t be the one, sweetheart. I’m not ready for my daily life daytime show to end. Sakura and Ino have to battle it out for his heart! TO THE OVER DRAMATIC DEATH.’

‘I don’t know if you like Naruto, too, or if you’re just trying to get in my way,’ Hinata thought, ‘But I know I won’t let you stop me! This is the best chance I’ve ever had, and I’m not going to waste it! Right now, I just have one unwanted piece to remove from the equation...’

‘What the heck are they doing?’ Naruto thought. ‘...Am I just supposed to sit here until they’re done? They’re completely ignoring me! Man, this sucks. I hate when girls get together. Nothing good ever comes out of it. Well, except maybe...no, nothing good. I’m not fooling anybody.”

“Well, if you’ll excuse me for just a minute,” Hinata stood up, “I need to use the lady’s room.”

Ayame waved her towards the rear of the shop, “It’s in the back. Don’t worry, I’ll keep Naruto company for you!”

“Gee, thanks,” Hinata replied in as catty a voice she could muster. She had just the plan for dealing with her newfound opponent. Once in the restroom, she locked herself in the stall and busted out her walkie talkie. Neji had forced her to take it a few months ago for security purposes, so he could better fulfill his role as a member of the branch family. That, and they got to pick out awesome code names.

“Darkside, Darkside do you read me?”

A moment later, Sasuke’s voice came through the walkie. “Who is this? How do you know my call sign?”

“Er, s-sorry, wrong frequency.” Hinata quickly readjusted her talkie and tried again. “Darkside, Darkside do you read me?”

Next, Neji’s voice came through the talkie, “This is Darkside. I copy you, Raven. Over.”

Feeling giddy, the Hyuuga blurted out, “I feel like a secret agent, right now!”

Her cousin grunted something to himself then asked, “What do you need?”

“U-Um...I need you to c-come to the Ichiraku ramen stand, in the village. I need you to...to distract a girl for me.”

“...What?”

“I...I need you to come and distract a girl for me!”

“...What?”

“Neji, if you’re not here in the next two minutes and aren’t devouring this girl’s attention I’ll...I’ll tell dad about your stash under the floorboard in your room!”

Neji froze up. How did she know about his Sapphic Femme stash!? More importantly, what could be so important that she would play such a trump card? “...Alright. I’ll be right there.”

“Thanks. Oh, a-and...uh...”

“What is it?”

“...Wear something slutty.”

Neji switched off his talkie and stuffed it in his pocket. He looked down at himself, shuddering a little. “I feel so dirty and used...”

Hinata returned to the table just as Neji was coming in. Thank God for that ninja speed! He was decked out in leather. Black leather. His pants were stretched out tighter than Nicole Kidman’s face after Botox. While the other two were looking at the oddly dressed newcomer, Hinata was motioning to Ayame with her eyes. Neji had acquired his target, and that was it. It was on. He had a secret to keep, and he damn well meant to keep it! He went in with the big guns.

“H-Hi, Neji...” Hinata trailed off as the boy approached them. He stood by Ayame, looking down at the table with somber eyes.

“Uh, did you lose a bet, or something? Mistakenly robbed Sasuke’s house, maybe?” Naruto asked through a grin.

He shot the blond a look before saying, “I just felt like dressing the way I feel. Dark.”

All three raised their eyebrows.

“I just can’t escape this f@#$ing feeling...this oppressive f@#$ing feeling. Don’t you c@#$s all wonder about it? We’re all going to die, and most of them will be sh@#$y, meaningless, empty deaths. No, all of them will be. We were all born into our God-f@#$ed fates, and we will all die the same cold f@#$ing way. There is no escaping that miserable f@#$ing fact. Nothing any of us does can change this sh@#$y cess pool of a world. We’re small, insignificant, worthless f@#$ing chunks of meat. When we die, we die, and that’s all there f@#$ing is to it. There’s nothing left. If that’s the case, then what’s the f@#$ing point to life? To mindlessly f@#$ and eat and s@#$ and feel as good as we can while we can? What a hollow f@#$ing existence that is. If that’s all there is to life, then I’m already f@#$ing ready to die and be done with the whole f@#$ing thing.”

‘What are you doing!?’ Hinata gasped internally, her face burning bright red from the language.

‘Holy crap on a communion cracker!’ Naruto tried to close his agape mouth.

‘I must save this broken young man from the darkness!’ Ayame made no effort to cool her burning loins. All plans to foil Hinata flew from her mind. She rose from the table and grabbed Neji by the arm. “I have a lot to show you about life!” She announced. Over her shoulder she yelled, “Hey, I’m leaving early today!” Despite protests from Mr. Ichiraku, she led Neji towards the door. “I liked that part about chunks of meat mindlessly f@#$ing and feeling as good as they could...”

Neji replied somberly, “Hm...I could show you my Gentle Fisting technique...”

Once again alone, Hinata and Naruto just watched where the other two had disappeared. “What the hell just happened?”

The girl shrugged, “I’m almost not sure, myself...”

“Yeah, ok. Um, lunchtime’s over, I think,” The blond said, getting up, himself. “Let’s see I can help you grab your kitty.”

Hinata, once again, held out her tape recorder. “Um, N-Naruto, could you say that one more time?”


-----Author’s other note: Well, Hinata has now come into play. And, for those of you who hadn’t already guessed, the final stage for this whole mess will be the Hyuuga Ball. Also, Neji’s Gentle Fisting technique is nothing compared to his Rough one. Also, I kept wanting to call Hinata’s dad Hiashi, but couldn’t confirm it one way or another. Where have I heard that name!?

And the ninja attorney is without a doubt my favorite part of this chapter.

Thanks for reading...-----