Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Gentle Lesson: The Restoration of the Hatake ❯ Love: Discovery And Pain ( Chapter 11 )

Please read and review!!! It's a small price to pay for such great entertainment, right???

 

Yep… as you can see, I've been watching Trinity Blood and Witch Hunter Robin for faarrrrr to long… oh well… I hope you enjoy the angst… One step for Sakura and one giant leap for otaku-kind.

 

TO THE REVIEWERS!!! THANK YOU!!! AND TO THOSE WHO JUST LOOKED IN - THANKS FOR LOOKING!!!

 

I just passed the 100 mark for reviews - it fills my heart with joy. Seriously. And the amount of hits… blinks… just amazing…

 

FOR THOSE INTERESTED, KAKI-KUN did a REALLY NICE HEADSHOT OF KAKASHI for this fic… so go visit her profile (and while you're there, read her awesome stuff) and visit her deviantart website to see the fanart goodness!

 

Ronsmyhero: hmmm… yes… it's a reference to the girl he killed in the beginning. Right now I've just finished “REGENERATION” which is all about WWII and shell-shock… so yeah… ummm… weird…

 

Jennjennr: yes… tying knots is important for this fic… I'm sorry that it's so slow-moving… I'm afraid - well… I can't spoil this chapter for you, but I hope you'll find this chapter allows Sakura to find more headway.

 

Blackrose113: YAOI… hmmm… yes… I'm afraid I'm not really into the writing smut scenes… I leave that to better writers… (grins) but thanks for the compliment, I hope you'll enjoy this one… sorry tho - there's Yuki in it… (sweatdrops)… gomen! Gomen nasai!!!

 

Inquisitive: I hope this leaves you breathless!!! Hehehe!!! To be honest, I've been writing from the time I was 8… so I guess I better have my own voice by now, right??? Hahaha!!! I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. This chapter has Yukio in it - but not too much… I hope…

 

Shadow Dragon Boss: (X-file music in the background)… creepy… yes… I always wanted to have a daydream - as in a waking dream - that'd be so cool… although I don't want to jump off buildings… seeing as I've got no handy dandy chakra to slow me down…

 

Jemiul: another great critic picking up on Yuki. I think Yuki is important because he is a symbol for things that hinder our growth. I think. Maybe I'm just BS-ing… regardless… I'm glad you're really into it!!!

 

SweetAssassin: Glad you're okay with the slow development!!! I hope you'll enjoy this chappie!! This was a more of a spur of the moment thing… even though I should be doing a film review… (looks furtively around) my bad!

 

Kaki-kun: I must say it again… the pic is just amazing! It makes me speechless. And I kind of feel special… weee!!! Other than Yukio's actions, we won't get anything from his background… (I'm not really sorry, I've got no time…) He's a mover and a shaker, but that's it… because Kakashi IS MORE IMPORTANT!!!

YAAYYYY!!!! 2-3 more weeks of fillers and then - maybe, just maybe, we'll have the Kakashi gaiden….

 

Snowfall: I'm `mmmm-ing' with you. I can't explain what I write sometimes. Am I twisted or what??? But yes, all goodness will flow… eventually. Sometime. Can't promise when…

 

Zelha: WOW!!! A NEW REVIEWER!!! Well… in this chappie, you've got Sakura and Kakashi - but not together… sorry… this is a seriously long fic… I've got PLANS!!! (cackles evilly) Hang in there!!! Thanks for the review!!!

 

I don't own Naruto…. Nor Kakashi….

 

Love: Discovery and Pain

 

The day outside her window was warm - it reminded her of her mother's sunroom, with all those flowers which Sakura had found so hard to understand. It reminded her of the family kitchen - the flies that buzzed against the window - the comfortable smells of spices and bread.

 

And taking out the oldest looking book labeled `Hatake', Sakura wondered.

 

What kind of ghosts am I going to resuscitate with this?

 

She opened it up carefully.

 

The first half was ancient information of long dead Hatakes - the ink was fading and some of the language was hard to understand.

 

I didn't think his family was - was that OLD.

 

Sakura frowned.

 

He has ancestors, damn him. Family. And he never told us.

 

With a careful finger she traced the birth and death charts down.

 

KIA.

KIA.

Accident.

Died in childbirth.

Drowned.

KIA.

KIA.

KIA.

MIA.

Unknown.

KIA.

KIA.

 

As each name was listed and each name was ended, she began to feel suffocated.

 

There's nobody left, is there? Is there?

 

Sighing, she leaned back and shut her eyes.

 

Father says the Haruno clan isn't super old like the Hyuuga. He says that there are older families whose history dates to long ago… Was Kakashi-sama like this too? Fat lot of good that did him, though…

 

It was toward the end that she hit the jackpot.

 

Hatake Katashi…. KIA. That was around the time of the Second Secret War, right? Or maybe not…. Huuu…. I really need to dust up on my history… and - and… eh…

 

Hatake Ichiro. That would have been Kakashi's uncle. He died at the same time… no way… The clan head and his first son dying at the same time - what a blow…

 

Hatake…. Hatake… Minoru? Died in a farming accident… farming… They had a farm?

 

Sakura propped her chin up on her palm and staring out the window sighed. She could almost see a mini-Kakashi running around a farm, chasing chickens or pigs - with a mask on…

 

Or maybe not.

 

More than likely he was a lazy bum…

 

Still… the wives died of natural causes… Hatake Momoko… wife to Ichiro died of a stroke… Hatake Minoru never married… and finally… third son… Sakumo and his wife, Hanako.

 

Hanako.

 

What were you like?

 

She looked at the dates - and her eyes widened… suddenly, scrabbling through the files she found the medical scroll concerning Hatake Hanako. Her green eyes welled up with tears as she read through it…

 

Premature birth. Followed by heavy bleeding. And hypovolemic shock. Loss of mother and of child. The premature birth was brought on by a ninja attack on the farm.

 

Where was Kakashi then?

 

Did he ever know?

 

Kakashi - had never had a chance to know his mother - he had just turned three when he had died.

 

With her died, Hatake Ryo. His brother.

 

A shock.

 

He had a brother. And he lost him before he could even see him.

 

Sakura hated the choked up feeling in her throat. Her tears built up and started to ache in her head.

 

Well… anyway… how about his dad…

 

Hatake Sakumo. Born… Died… What…. WHAT? Seppuku. Body found in study. Formal rites of seppuku. Suicide due to clinical depression and possible hypomania…. What was the year…

 

Sakura did the math and her jaw dropped open.

 

Her sensei had been around seven years old.

 

HOLY SHIT!!!

 

She leaned back, eyes glazed in shock.

 

And that was it.

 

Well… that wasn't all of it… there was his actual medical file… Gingerly, she picked it out of the box and replaced everything else. She opened it up, blew off the dust and wondered how long it had been since anybody had used this file.

 

I guess ANBU have their own medical system.

 

The pink-haired kunoichi shuddered.

 

Kakashi-sama. When you come back… we'll be your family. I promise.

 

Her eyes dropped to the first page.

 

Genin injuries.

 

No big deal… uhhh… wait a sec… WHAT THE HELL?

 

“Uh… Sakura… you okay?”

Iruka poked his head in and blinked.

 

The medic nin was staring wide eyed at a folder spread out on her desk.

 

“No way,” she whispered, in shock.

“What? Is something wrong? What's the matter?”

Iruka pushed his way in - glanced at the box standing to the side - and sucked in his breath sharply.

“Sakura - what are you -“

“He was a Genin at 5? That means…” She looked up and gasped - and then sighed, giving up any hope to conceal what she had been doing.

“What are you doing? Those are private files.”

“I got permission,” Sakura flashed Tsunade's slip. “It's so we can know what to expect when he comes back. When we get him back.”

“If there's something to get back.”

“But -“

“Genin at 5, yeah, I know what you feel. It's scary and sad at the same time.”

“That means that -“

“He was in the Academy when he was four - his dad didn't know how to cope with him after his wife died. And the child was too precocious for his tutors. He was already exhibiting advanced stages of chakra control by then…”

“No way.”

“Yes.”

“You knew him back then?”

“Me?” Iruka laughed sadly. “No. Nobody knew him back then. But Genma remembers… he's much older than you think, Genma is. He remembers those Academy days…”

“I see…”

“Genin at 5, Chuunin at 6… He's quite the shinobi…”

“EHHHH!!!” Sakura squealed and ruffled through the pages.

Iruka was right.

The scarred nin shrugged his shoulders.

“What can I say? He was kind of like Sasuke back then… a prodigy, really… and we didn't understand him one bit…”

 

“Ahhh!!! Ruru - look it's that weird Hatake brat… what's his name!!!”

“Scarecrow! Stupid scarecrow!!!”

“Look at his mask - who does he think he is!!”

“Let's go teach him some pain!”

“Ibiki, let it be… he'll outstrip us no time…”

“Ebisu… you're no fun.”

“Fight! Fight!”

“Anko!”

“Why don't we ask him to play with us, Mizuki?”

“Nah. He'll just think we're weird. Look at his eyes. He thinks he's better than us…”

“Really?” Iruka wondered, watching as the tiny white-haired kid turned from the chain link fenced and walked quickly away. “He doesn't seem so bad to me… maybe he's lonely…”
“Yeah, and maybe. Maybe. I'm a girl…” Genma laughed.

“You aren't?”

“Raidooo!!!”

 

“I see… And he was a Jounin at twelve… Due to lack of shinobi. He got a Sharingan that day, it says here.”

“That I don't know about it. Everybody who was there is now dead. Rin. Yondaime. The Rock nins… Tsunade-sama didn't have much to do with it… so…”

Iruka sighed.

“Apparently,” Sakura said, as she skimmed rapidly through the technical information. “It was implanted - his friend had been pinned underneath a rock and the operation was completed by Rin.”

“Brutal.”

“Yeah.”

 

“How must he feel to see everybody passing on - but has to stay behind. All the people he loved….”

Sakura sighed.

She stood up and gathering up the file, stowed it away in her knapsack. Shoving the box under her desk, she picked up her jacket, purse and knapsack.

“Where are you going?”

“Going to drop this off at my apartment and then maybe find dinner and then maybe finish this folder… I need to rest a bit…”
“I'll join you.”

“What about Shizune?”

“She away. It's okay. I need to get out too.”

 

Sakura's eyes softened.

“Thanks, Iruka-san.”

“It's the least I can do.”

 

Kakashi topped the rise and looking down, savored the gentle sun on his arms, the smell of the grass and the new leaves just beginning to flourish on the trees. It was growing season again, and already he could see - far away, pale grey and brown blotches moving in and out of the fields and the paddies, preparing for planting - participating again and again in that process of life.

 

He bent down and just rested there - the wind gently stirring his matted grey hair (he just couldn't get around to having it cut a bit shorter, so it had sort of gotten out of hand) - bringing with it the warm smell of earth and river. For one moment he reveled in it. And envied them. Their quiet lives close to the soil, peaceful and full of family and friends.

 

But that's just romanticizing, Kashi-kun. Farm life - you can remember what that really means… getting up at the crack of dawn to feed and milk the animals, gather eggs and round up the chickens for counting. There were the vegetables to weed and the fields to plow.

 

He remembered in a painful flash:

 

“Ahhh… Kashi-kun… you've had it easy since we've moved to the village permanently.”

“Why did we have to move?”

“For you,” said another voice - but softer and lighter.

 

For you.

 

He blinked and, running his hands up over his face - up into his tangled hair, he sighed. Ever since that evening, Kakashi had buried himself even more deeply into work. His apartment seemed so ominous - and even his dojo seemed to full of things he wanted to forget.

 

So there was Yukio. Yukio. Ever since that night any tensions had once gain built up. It was a vicious cycle. Kakashi could feel it brewing - like a storm building up a castle of clouds - he knew it was coming. And yet… he couldn't but help feel relieved…

 

Better the demon you know then the demon you don't…Speaking of the devil… Kakashi mused. Where is he?

 

“Hey!” Yukio's smile was forced - his eyes were hungry - he stepped out of the forest toward his crouching comrade, who was looking down over the cliff, enjoying the peace. It soured his mood.

 

Damn the man.

 

“Yo.” Kakashi didn't even turn to greet him.

 

That burned him even more.

 

“Resting?” Yukio asked striving to keep his voice light as he watched the dappled sunlight falling through the leaves to shift over the pale shoulders of his quiet teammate.

“Mmmmm….”

“Don't make me say it…”

“Hn.”

“Nice day…”

“You said it.”

“You're the one who's awkward!”

 

There was a tense pause.

 

Yukio tried to tear his eyes away from Kakashi's back, from his lithe body and… thighs…. He shook his head.

 

“So, how do you feel?”

“Feel?”

“Feel. They're on their own now… Makoto and Ichiro.”

“Let's hope they last longer than the other two…”

“So cold!”

“Tch.”

“Don't `tch' me!”

“Get your arm off me!”

 

Kakashi jerked away, glaring at his dark-haired comrade.

 

Why does he have to ruin this so much? To cheapen a moment when memories…

 

“Guess what, Kashi-kun. For your birthday, we've got a surprise!”

“Supwise?”

“Hmmm…” a soft voice said. “A trip.”

“Where are we going?”

“To the family farm!”

“We're visiting Uncle?”

“Yeah. It'll be fun, right?”

“Can I feed the chickens?”

“I'm not sure…”

“Moothhherrr!!!”

“Now, now… you just have to ask Uncle. Sakumo, stop laughing. Talk to him about it…”

“Hai, hai!”

 

Sitting there, he remembered. Kakashi remembered the hard little beaks that had pounced down on his small white hand full of seeds. He had cried over a particularly bloody wound he had received from a really rabid rooster and his father had soothed him as he bandaged his son with his ever present med kit.

 

Kakashi could still feel the cotton shawl around him - his mother's - as she cuddled her young three year old son.

 

“Ehh… Kashi-kun. Feel that! He's kicking.”

“Hey! Little man! Hands off my wife!” joked Sakumo as he watched his son close his eyes in concentration.

There was a silence and nothing moved.

Kakashi frowned and reached out.

“Saku-kun….”

“What…”

Their faces dropped open as Kakashi, pressing his hands against the mound beneath his mother's dress, sent a warm burst of white chakra. And, as if in echo, something sparked back - followed by a really vigorous kick.

“Ahhh!!!! He moved! I felt `im!!! You see me, Papa!!”

“Yes.” His father's face looked proud and - something else. “I saw that.”

“Sakumo. How is that…”

“He's the heir to the entire clan. The future leader. This is a gift for him. I think it's time.”

“Time? Time fo' what?”

“Time for bed, young man!”

“But, Paappaaaa!!! I'm not sleepy!!!”

“Oh… you will be - when I talk about the newest hairstyle Jiji-sama has come up with it…”

“Papa!!! Noooo!!!”

“Saku-kun. No perverted stories for bed time!”

“But they're the best!”

“Saku-kun.”

A definite warning.

“Hai, hai!”

 

He ran to his mom and gave her a hug. Her hands were warm as they surrounded him - he looked up. But her face was a blur.

 

He couldn't see her face.

 

Mother.

 

Kashi-kun.

 

Kakashi!

 

“Yo!!! Kakashi!!! Stop it!!!”

Kakashi blinked awake - staring back into Yukio's concerned eyes.

“Whoa. You really spaced out there for a second…” His comrade's eyes dropped.

Kakashi numbly released his knees and allowed his hands to drop to his sides.

“It's nothing.”

“You went spastic and it's nothing? You're one sick bastard, Kakashi! Twisted. Sick. Selfish.”

“Selfish?”

“Selfish to hoard all those memories! You never share anything with me, do you? You treat me like shit!”

Kakashi frowned and sighed.

“Yukio. I don't need you to go all psycho on me right now. Calm down.”

“Psycho? You call me psycho? You want to know who the real psycho is? It's you, BITCH!”

 

Bitch.

 

The word was punctuated by a slap and Kakashi scrambled to his feet, panting heavily - an urge to just… kill… overwhelming him. He could feel the imprint of Yukio's hand through his mask.

 

The bastard put some chakra behind that. The mother -

 

He never finished that particular train of thought. It was mother he faltered at. And he wondered why it was on THIS day?

 

Is there something I have forgotten?

 

He choked out blood as Yukio rammed him viciously into a tree and then just as traitorously, kicking him in the groin. Kakashi, falling forward, biting back a moan, wondered.

 

Yuki leaned down.

“I envy you. To be able to look like that - even now…”

Confused Kakashi looked up into two glittering eyes. A left hand - callused and scarred - obscured his vision - as it ran its fingers down his face, tenderly removing the mask.

 

He's so beautiful. But then… there's nothing better than a broken beauty.

 

He leaned down. Kakashi didn't even try to move. He just closed his eyes and welcomed the rush of memories - memories to help him forget the present. To reject the pain of the present - the needy mouth on his.

 

He could feel his father's arms coming around him, crushing him - to hide, to find some sort of resolution - to vent his grief in a bear hug. Kakashi hadn't understood.

“Truly, this is the best for our small family. If Kakashi is free to build himself and the Hatake a better name, it would fulfill my wishes and give me joy and fulfillment in the afterworld. Knowing he will do well is better than seeing all our hopes wither.

I hope he understands.

I love him so much.”

“However. Given time, this year, with practice, you and I can change this. To reap the full potential given to both of us. Inside us.”

“Kakashi. Obito comes from a great clan but you come from a great man. Never be ashamed of your name - Hatake Sakumo is a name associated with the Sannins for all time.”

 

“Why did we have to move?”

“For you,” said another voice - but softer and lighter.

 

For you.

 

“Where is she? Where's Mama?”

“K-kash - Kakashi… Mama - isn't going to be living here anymore… she's gone away on a long journey…”

“A mission?”

“No. Not a mission…”

“Did little brother stay with us?”
“No. He - he's gone to be with Mama. She can take better care of him anyway. Kakashi…”

“She'll come back, right? We can wait for her.”

He could feel his father's arms coming around him, crushing him - to hide, to find some sort of resolution - to vent his grief in a bear hug. Kakashi hadn't understood.

 

Those arms circling around him. Crushing him. He still didn't understand.

 

Why? Why, Mama?

 

A pair of burning lips kissed the one falling tear away.

 

Beauty is best when it is broken.