Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Gentle Lesson: The Restoration of the Hatake ❯ Faith: Wilderness of the Heart ( Chapter 12 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

THANKS TO ALL MY REVIEWERS AND ALL THOSE WHO READ THIS!!!

SweetAssassin: I'll let you in on a little secret - Not this chapter, but the next chapter will be Saku/Kaka interaction!!! I've got it all planned out!!! Hope you enjoy this though!!!

OtakuAnime131: (cries with you) Ohhh… dear…. Yes… well…. I was listening to some pretty sad music when I wrote that chapter as well… I hope you don't get to upset with this chappie! Although it ain't the happiest either… arms open wide to angst…

Tixylix: A NEW REVIEWER!!! YAY!!!! I hope you enjoy this!!! Thanks for giving me the smile!!!! (at least… that's what I'm going to take that as…)

Jennjennr: Thanks for the very thoughtful review - and I'm glad you liked the insights into his character. I tried to have flashbacks and increase the clarity. I'm afraid I can get a little too convoluted at times… (shifty eyes) but I'm glad that the words were evocative and a great read. I hope you'll bear with me here. This chapter is another `revelation' chapter but the next chapter… (rubs hands) will be for you.

Inquisitive: Well… I hope that you won't be disappointed. I'm glad that you read the previous two novels because this chapter will make A LOT of sense then, for you. As for Yukio… hee hee hee… yes…

Keakun: Yukio is… yes… convoluted… I'm glad you enjoyed the angst. Broken guys are the best. Especially when it comes around to mending them!!! A couple nights ago, I was lying in bed tweaking the plot and having so much fun… (sigh)… I just have got to find time to write this in between exams!!! (sigh)

Jemiul: I'm glad you liked the style. I've been experimenting slightly lately… but always feel free to tell me when things get confusing!!! I hope you'll enjoy this next chappie as well…

Blackrose113: ha! Yes! Angst. I'm glad you liked it!!! Thanks for the kind review! Hope you like the upcoming chapters! Things are going to speed up… sort of…

Shadow Dragon Boss: Less Yukio in this chappie. But yep. Yukio is CREEPY!!! But love shall prevail. Especially when it comes to Sakura and Kakashi!!! HURRAH!!!

1Kenshinlover: Thanks for the review!!! I'm so glad to hear from new people! Yes. They will get back together. But there is a lot of darkness on the way… why? Because I'm a sick, twisted evil writer who wants to stretch Kakashi beyond his limits.

Sabireru: Here `tis the update for you!!! Sorry about the wait - but school calls. It would suck if I failed another university course…. Really suck… My mom would kill me. And then she'd be like, why? And then I'd be like… coughcoughKakashicoughcough… I'm glad you're down with the whole DARK aspect!!!

Snowfall: I'm glad you're jabbering. Although… Yukio isn't going to play a large part in this whole deal. You can beat him with your stick if you want… I give you full permission to!

Newtype Omega: WOW!!! I never had a review from you before, and I'm really glad to hear from a new review - especially from somebody who seems to have a head on their shoulders. (Speaking of which, your kindness has really swelled my head up to unbelievable proportions… I took your review home and paraded it in front of my siblings, saying… “Hara!!! See! Fanfic-ing IS good because it IS rewarding!”) Kaka/Saku has always been my favorite pairing ever since reading Leafy Girl [although, meleth78 really made me see the possibilities of Kaka/Iru… hehehehe….]. I am a totally obsessed fan when it comes to Kakashi (in fact, when Dave Wittenburg comes to Toronto for the Anime Convention, I'll be there to get this autography by hook or crook)… and I think the show could do more justice to the man… but sadly… it's ALL about Naruto - and lately we've been wondering if the Kakashi Gaiden will EVER be made… (weep) I'm very please that you think my works have created a definitive version on Kakashi and the Hatake - personally I wanted to create an epic that would be in canon and in character with as few OCs as possible. I hope I'm fulfilling that… And you're right about time. Time is all that is needed - and I hope I can portray that properly here. In total, thanks for the great review, you really made my day. To be honest, Naruto fans are the most responsive to everything - they are the most giving and excited - so that really encourages me to write more! Ja ne!

So 15 pages of goodness!!!! I hope you enjoy this! To be honest, I found writing Sasuke to be VERY, VERY TOUGH!!! So be frank and tell me how I did… getting into his head was hard, so I hope it's believable.

Insert Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Or Kakashi. But I do own Yukio!!! Bwahahaha!!!!

READ AND REVIEW!!! PLEASE!!!! It doesn't take long. You can be anonymous. You can be frank! This is free entertainment - so, it's the least you can do!!!

WARNING: Reference to White Fang, Lightning's Howl. If you haven't read the first book of this series, you might not understand some references!!!

Faith: Wilderness of the Heart

“If you break faith with us who die,

We shall not sleep though poppies grow

In Flander's Field.” (McCrae)

While Sakura was browsing through the medical files, enjoying the warmth of the early morning sun filtering through her window, Sasuke walked down the main street of Konoha wondering where on earth he was supposed to start. Konoha was a busy town - bustling, populous - and, ever since the end of the war, strange to the Uchiha. Much of the outer city limits and the downtown had been reconstructed due to the destruction of the Sannin's massive summoning - and Naruto.

Naruto.

The idiot.

I wonder what he's doing right now…

Sasuke sniffed. And then sighed.

Finding a small café (just opened), he ordered a small cup of tea and watched the people pass. Yelling shopkeepers. Men with packages and boxes. Mailmen. Policemen….

Father…

Sasuke blinked and glared fiercely at a young girl who was staring at him across the street. She squeaked and turned away. The young ninja sighed.

Whatever.

There were women, haggling over vegetables. Measuring clothe. Selling herbs. Parading for a couple of ninja. Giggling. Gossiping.

It reminded him of Sakura, Hinata and Ino together. Or when Kurenai and Tsubaki hung out.

Women… They're just so weird… I wonder if mother was ever like that when she saw my dad in the streets…

For the first time in his life, Sasuke felt something expanding in his gut - not that everlasting hatred for his maniac brother which hadn't faded yet - but something keen.

It was loss.

And not the loss of his parents. But the loss of memories.

Sitting there, surrounded by the bustling noisy crowds. He felt so alone.

So alone.

It only seemed like yesterday he was running into the family kitchen to see his father sitting there, reading the paper and smoking his pipe - his mother was at the counter, wrapping up his bento box.

“Be careful, Sasuke-kun!”

For forty-five minutes, he sat there - contemplative and surrounded by memory.

“Uchiha-san?” a young voice called - and Sasuke looked up, dark eyes unreadable.

It was Konohamaru with his two teammates - all of them now proud members of the Chuunin ranks.

“Konohamaru-kun,” Sasuke sighed. “Where's Ebisu-san?”

“Oh! He's coming! We're going out on a a highly important mission to -“

“Oi! Don't blab like that, Moegi-chan!”

“Yeah,” mumbled Udon. “It's top secret.”

Sasuke tried to look impressed. And failed. He stood, the better to make his get away. Naruto put up with the brats, but Sasuke had better, more important things to do.

“Don't you have a mission to complete, Sasuke-niichan?” asked Udon timidly. “Perhaps an S-rank?”

Sasuke smiled.

“Not today.” He frowned. “I've got other things to do - ah! Ebisu-sensei!”

“Sasuke-kun! Fancy meeting you here! You are doing well, I trust?” Ebisu adjusted his shades and smirked.

“I'm well. And you?”

“As fine as one can be with a team such as this…”

“Ebisssuuuu-seeennnsseeiii!!!” the teens wailed. “We are NOT!”

“So - are you off to a mission as well? As a diligent shinbi should?”

Sasuke blinked and then tilted his head.

“Ebisu-san…”
“Eh?”

The younger Jounin hesitated.

“I was wondering if you perhaps knew about the Hatake clan.”
“The Hatake?”

“The Hatake.”

“You mean - as in, Hatake Kakashi?”

“Yes.”
“Welll…. Not that much… There are none around, not many remember those days…“ Ebisu frowned. “Kakashi-sama…”

“I'm trying to find out if he had a house or anything like that - a family house…”

Ebisu settled his shades more firmly on his nose.

“I had forgotten-“ He said, totally stunned.

“Yes. So…”
“Well, I had heard that there WAS a family - complex and all - but where - I do not know…” Ebisu sighed. “And I would help you - but we're off to an important mission - there are Jounin I could talk to myself…”

“Could I have their names then?”
“Ask - ummm….”

Ebisu sighed.

Sasuke waited.

“Genma. Asuma. Gai. Maybe…. Yamato-san… But - best of all - well - I hate to admit this - it's probably best for you to ask that perverted - (cough) - that is to say, the great Jiraiya-sama.”

“Let's go, Ebisu-sama!!!!”
“HURRY UP!”

“We're running late!”

But Ebisu lingered. As he stared at Sasuke, his face seemed touched by regret and loss.

I never knew him well - he always seemed to be a pompous jerk, thought Sasuke. But that's Naruto's point of view for you… Did he know Kaka-sensei that much? No. Then… why…

“I am deeply ashamed…” Ebisu sighed, as he turned away. “To have forgotten about a ninja - no, a great prodigy such as your sensei. I had - have great respect for him. But I fear that if he isn't dead, he may as well be…”

A pause.

“I must go. Good luck, Sasuke-kun.”

Sasuke watched the team disappear down the road in a cloud of brown dust.

Ebisu seemed upset. Just like Iruka-sensei.

Sasuke sighed.

Just like me.

He smirked.

Heh. And Naruto will have to be the one to talk to them… ah well… I'm going to have to find Jiraiya-sama…. Jiraiya-sama… what connection does Sensei have with the Sannin?

After a moments thought, Sasuke turned away - heading in the opposite direction from the Kage's office to find the baths, the river and the Sannin's favorite peeping spot at the waterfalls.

Some things don't change, Sasuke sighed as he watched the white-haired, number one pervert from his perch in a tree.

“What do you want, little brat?” the older man growled, his telescope unwaveringly focused on seven girls splashing in the women's only swimming spot. Sasuke fell out of his tree rather ungracefully.

“Why surprised?” Jiraiya smirked. “I may be old - but not that old…”

“What're you doing here, old man?”

“So cold.” Jiraiya lowered his telescope and shifted around. “I'm just resting these old bones - research for my next Icha Icha…”

Sasuke snorted.

“I still can't get over the fact that your soap opera is still going strong.”

“It's a classical set of novels, you philistine!”
“Soap opera in print, pervert! And you should be at work.”
“Work…” mumbled Jiraiya. “The old hag gave me time off today.”

“Time off?”

“Like I said, resting my bones.”

“Hard mission?”

“Mission. No. Something personal came up. Hit me like a load of bricks, you could say. Well… I've got it in control. Give me time…” Jiraiya stopped, his eyes narrowed. “Speaking of missions… what about you?”

“I'm trying to find out if Kakashi-sensei ever had a family house. Was it destroyed in the Battle at the Gates? Did the Hatake ever have a house to begin with?”

Jiraiya blinked.

Sasuke jerked out Tsunade's white slip.

“The Hokage made this official.”

Jiraiya sighed, shut his eyes, stood up and then stared off somewhere into the underbrush.

“Tsunade… you think it's that time, already?”
“Jiraiya-sama?”
“Huh? Oh! Yeah… well… they had a compound sure enough… Complex. Ghetto. Whatever…”

“And?”

“I would have thought you'd know. Didn't your father say anything?”

Sasuke frowned.

“I don't remember him saying anything about the Hatake…”

“How about White Fang? Ever mention that?”
Sasuke's eyes widened in memory.

“Yeah! I heard that name before…”

He was a young kid standing outside of his father's study, straining to hear the low voices within.

“Of course, just like White Fang. A coward and a soft-hearted idiot. He won't go far.”

“But he's -“
“Itachi. Nobody will go as far as you…”
“There's Sasuke.”

“Sasuke. Highly unlikely. But he's Uchiha. He won't be a White Fang, either.”

“Ummm… well… your old man was kind of hard on himself and others. He was not the type to understand the Hatake.”

“White Fang was Hatake?”
“He was Hatake Sakumo. Kakashi's father.”

“Kakashi's father?”

Sasuke ran a hand through his hair distractedly.

I always saw him as a Jounin-sensei. A great, cool, powerful mysterious killing machine - not as - not as a kid who'd had a father… White Fang… what did he do???

“So… the Hatake?”

“Yeah, well. Your father felt the Uchiha had a lot to prove - Sakumo's family is equally old - but not so big - still… Sakumo took things easy. He wasn't in your face about things like clan jutsu or pride or anything…”

“Father wouldn't have understood that, yes…”

“Well - don't get me wrong - before everything went downhill, Sakumo was bubbling over with this secret about some long lost Hatake clan jutsu. You must understand, Sasuke - White Fang was a great guy - as great as one of us Sannin. Respect for him spread through all of this continent…”

“You don't have to exaggerate…” Sasuke sighed as Jiraiya's prose became more and more flowery.

“I'm not exaggerating,” Jiraiya sighed. “He was a great man - he was my best friend - my comrade and fellow prankster - heh heh heh…”

“Perverts.”

“So cold, Sasuke! If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're gay…”

“I'm not.”

“Whatever. When Sakumo's wife birthed his first son - we got so drunk! Ah! He called him Kakashi - hn. That's what happens when you're not in full control of your senses when it's time to name the kid. Ah well! He was so proud of young Kashi-kun. But when his wife died, he was never quite the same…”

“His wife died?”

“Yeah. When Kakashi was so young too! I guess it's hard for you to see your sensei like that - but he was always a genius - even without his Sharingan - and I -“

“JIRAIYA-SAMMMAAA!!! What're you doing?”

Izumo burst into the clearing - and then stopped as he caught sight of the Uchiha boy lounging nearby, with the Frog Summoning Sannin, sitting on the ground, actually looking thoughtful. Kotetsu bumped into him from behind and then snorted.

“Sasuke-kun! Are you going down the path of the pervert?”

Sasuke twitched.

“Of course not! What do you think you're implying?”

Izumo blinked, Kotetsu rolled his eyes.

“I see what I see…”

“Well, you're seeing it wrong!”

“Sure, sure.”

“Jiraiya-sama,” Izumo bowed. “Tsunade-sama wishes to speak with you.”

The white-haired Sannin frowned.

“I'm busy here!”

“She says -“
“She can -“

“Jiraiya-sama,” Sasuke said quietly. “I can find it no problem.”

He grinned as Izumo latched onto Jiraiya's arm with an air of fierce determination. Kotetsu had liberated the elder's telescope and was putting it to good use on the girls.

“Hagane Kotetsu!” bellowed his cross Jounin partner. “Don't make me come over there!”

Kotetsu swung the telescope around to focus on his friend's flushed face.

Izumo frowned, Kotetsu pouted.

“But this is funner.”

“You mean, funnier,” corrected Sasuke.

“Or more fun,” prompted Jiraiya.

“That sounds awkward,” Kotetsu muttered.

“NOW'S NOT THE TIME!” yelled Izumo.

Without another word, Sasuke tore himself away from the very laughable situation.

Idiots.

The sun now climbed high into the bright blue of the sky. Sasuke wandered through the desolate streets of the older part of town - it was eerie - the silence that seemed to watch you. He passed by the old Uchiha complex.

For a moment, he paused at the gates - to look inside and remember.

He could still see their faces - the old lady and her husband - some distant great aunt. The scuff-scuff of her broom and the warm smell of freshly baked bread. Far away, he could hear a young girl humming as she hung up bed sheets on the line. Flap flap - the fabric whipped out in the wind.

After a few minutes, Sasuke moved on - unsure of himself and his feelings.

There is sorrow. There is anger. Itachi is still out there - but I haven't lost. After all, even though I no longer am searching for him. Life has more important things for me - like life itself. Naruto. Sakura. They are more important. He has lost. His mission to ruin my life has failed. All thanks to Naruto. Sakura. And Kakashi-sensei.

I've been in the dark - now I'm walking in the light.

Sasuke had thought his silent Uchiha ghetto was devastatingly abandoned - but the run down Morino estate and the shabby grounds of the Namiashi (which was over run with brown-haired children) shocked him even more.

Streets opened to his feet that he never even knew existed before.

He kept to the main road out of fear of losing his ways - but as he passed huge walls and imposing doors, he began to see how important the ninja clans were to Konoha.

The Yuuhi are pretty impressive - not to mention the Hyuuga…

“S-sasuke-kun?” A soft voice called out his name - and the dark-haired, dark-eyed heir to the Hyuuga stepped out of her estate's gate.

The old idiot knows nothing, the young Uchiha thought as he checked out Hinata's slim hips and fine hands.

There are attractive girls out there to enjoy. It's a shame though that she's still so hung up on Naruto.

“Hinata. Yo.”

“What are you -“ she blushed.

“Uchiha. You're visiting your main house?” asked a husky voice behind the slight girl.

“Neji. And Hanabi. You guys aren't busy today?”

“Clan meeting. And how about yourself?”

“N-neji-kun!” Hinata gasped. “Behave!”

Sasuke smiled.

“I'm looking for the dojo of the Hatake.”

“Hatake. Don't know them,” Hanabi sniffed dismissively.

“No. It's familiar to me,” Neji murmured.

“Now that you mention it…” Hinata mused.

“It was your sensei, was it not?” asked Neji.

Sasuke nodded.

“Yeah. I'm looking for his dojo.”

“He had an estate? That guy had a family?”

Sasuke shrugged. He didn't really want to talk about it.

“Oi! Hinata! Where are you?”

“Father!”

“Oh! My deepest apologies, Uchiha-san. I had no idea you were there! Please feel free to come in and take noon tea with us! We just got out of a clan meeting but…”

Sasuke bowed.

“Thank you, but I'm sorry - I need to find something before the day ends.”
There was a pause, Hiashi blinked carefully.

“Find some thing in this end of town?”

“Yes.”

“The Hyuuga, Namiashi, Sarutobi, Maito, Gekkou and Yuuhi are all that is left in this old quarter. We can help you find what you seek - but there is nothing to find further on down this road. The rest of this town is dead.”

“What houses lie around here, then?” asked Sasuke, giving Hinata a quelling look.

“They are abandoned estates - the mansions of the Hokages, the Hagane and the Hatake.”

“The Hatake estates are further down this road? Thank you very much,” Sasuke bowed and darted off.

Lord Hiashi sighed.

“He wanted to find some thing at the Hatake place? But there's nothing there… ever since…”

“Father?” Hinata asked timidly. “Hatake had a place like us?”

“Of course,” said Lord Hyuuga as he turned away, his two daughters and nephew trailed after him. “They were like the Hyuuga and the Uchiha - but they were loyal to Konoha to a fault. Wars cut down their numbers - their white chakra was in high demand - and so nothing is left.”

“Except for Hatake Kakashi,” corrected Neji.

“One man left? So much responsibility to revive his clan!” Hinata breathed. “That must be hard to carry!”

“I'm surprised he hasn't got himself a wife…”

“That Hatake - Kakashi-sama… he grew up as a hard, lonely child into a hard, lonely man. He is better where he is. The Hatake have lost all hope - they are dead. Come, Hanabi. Enough of this talk. We need to train.”

While watching his cousins spar -

“Hanabi, use your agility to reach lower!”

Watching them slip down, sideways, up: the cupped hands and the lines of chakra -

“Hinata, focus on your right hand guard.”

Hinata's flushed face, Hanabi's chewed lip…

Neji could still remember that Chuunin Exam - the exam which changed the course of his life.

“I definitely will win.”

Naruto.

And even Genma had shared the wisdom of life he so desperately needed.

“Even a caged bird, yearning for freedom, attempts to escape his cage.”

It had been the year Neji had learned that life needn't be a series of closed doors or missed opportunities.

And he remembered Gai, talking with that Kakashi about Rock Lee.

“I am disappointed in you, Gai. You've gone too far.”

And that day, Kakashi, Sakura and Naruto returned with Sasuke - they had all looked half dead but triumphant.

Would I go that far for Lee? Or TenTen?

If I was Sasuke, I would be like him. My whole being would be bent on the truth.

Uchiha. I wish you luck.

The faded sign of the Hatake rested under the mountain at the juncture of rock and wall. Here, the bright sun attempted to reach down into the desolation - but only a few soft rays fell, giving everything a dull look. Rusty at the hinges, the wooden gates didn't look as if they could be opened without falling apart - the lintel and the boards were rotting away.

Jumping lightly up to the wall, Sasuke stood there, stunned as he overlooked the wild splendor of the Hatake's expansive estate.

It was a ghost town.

The silence was so creepy, Sasuke turned. Over the rooftops, he could see the Academy's imposing façade and, as if far away in another dimension - the sounds of market still showed that somewhere, there was life.

Sasuke turned back.

It was a ghost town in a living world. Huge and shabbily aristocratic.

Halfway down the middle of the estate, laid a cobbled walkway - older than anything Sasuke had seen before - with grass growing up between the cracks. On either side of the walk, ten plus buildings were crammed in with intermittent gardens - all of them lay empty. But Sasuke could see similarities to his own abandoned home. The baker, the butchers, the cobbler and the stables.

His eyes followed the green and grey road up until the grounds opened to a wide area with a couple of trees and a huge central garden which had taken over everything now.

Carefully making his way down the street, and up through the garden, Sasuke looked around, dazed.

The Hatake must have loved the earth. So many flowers. And even now….

The thought escaped him.

This is where Kakashi was born. Where he played.

Fading petals blew away in the wind and playing shivers on his back, a rope and board swing blew back and forth in the wind.

In one second, he saw it - as if a dream - a vision of a young, white-haired boy laughing into the wind as a pretty, black-haired woman pushed him - and then a tall, white-haired man clasped her waist hugging her. She giggled hysterically.

“Stop it, Saku-chan!!!”

“Papa! Papa! You're home!”

The boy flung himself off the swing and sailing through the air, landed into his father's arms.

Papa.

Blinking furiously, the ebony haired Uchiha turned away, and making his way carefully up creaking wooden stairs, found the door and pried it slowly open.

How many years has anybody been here? If he was young when he left the place, it must have been over twenty years… and yet… the flowers look like work has been done on them. And the door isn't impossible to open.

Has he been here recently?

There is no sign of anybody living here.

So then…

Inside, the air was dusty, musty, grimy and moldy. And definitely uninhabited. A thick layer of dust covered everything - although it looked rather neat, as if it had been cleaned before it was abandoned.

He found the dining room, the ground floor bathroom and a small sunroom/patio ensemble out back. Beyond the house to the back, an even larger garden stretched with a small training ground out back. Looking down from the second floor, he could see a small personal family shrine in the middle of the wilderness, but no candle flickered there and no incense had been lit.

Sasuke felt an incredible burden of sadness.

Even he still visited the ghetto every month to visit the family shrine, to burn the incense and visit with his dead. But here, everything had been forgotten and discarded. There was no one left to remember these people.

Only one man left who didn't want to be found.

He turned away to survey the room again. It had been the master's bedroom - once again, there were signs of occupation - not too recent, but close enough to make him wonder if his sensei had perhaps been here several years back. Pock marks on the walls indicated where vines had once grown and had been ripped out. The window itself had received new trimming and a new coat of paint with better insulation against the green.

But even then…

Sasuke smiled.

You cannot keep the wilderness out.

Vines had once again found a crack and were already making their way around the window and back into the room.

There was nothing in the room, except for clothes and books.

Sasuke went through all of them carefully. Old-fashioned yukatas, pants that would look alright on Jiraiya… tall clothes for a tall man. And ruined silks, rotting cottons (damp must have found its way in somehow) for the dark-eyed beauty.

Under one floorboard, he found a small stash of photos. Black and white pictures of a masked man and a dark-haired girl with a small baby in their arms. And other ones of later years, still happy. Reverently, he lifted them up and placed them in his backpack, alongside a couple of notebooks.

He went to visit Kakashi's bedroom.

At least, he figured it must have been Kakashi's.

This room had been left absolutely untouched. It was a small time capsule - a moment frozen in time - as if the child had dropped everything where he stood and never looked back. White sheets draped over everything, but on them, Sasuke could see large footprints - as if someone had entered the room and stood there - had stood there, rejected memory and turned around. After taking a few photos of the footprints in the cloth, he rolled them back to reveal books, mini shuriken and kunai, punch bags and weights scattered all over the ground.

Try as he might he could find no toys or games that boys would normally play with. Carefully unrolling a particularly brittle scroll, he found himself laughing (then coughing) at the boy's obviously failed attempts to copy the kanji for the bunshin jutsu.

Papa is sick again.

That was the only interesting entry in the whole scroll. A scrawling “Kakashi” gave a clue to the author and the date…

Sasuke did the math.

He had only been 7.

Downstairs, he found the study tucked away in one corner.

Kakashi must have spent more time in this room - this place has been seriously reconstructed.

On the desk, there were traces of books and writing utensils. Going through the garbage can, Sasuke found a crumpled note.

The handwriting - scrawling, misspelled and skewed - could be none other than his sensei. It didn't say much, just a list.

Dog food. Soup. Vegetables. Breads. A couple of sweets.

Balanced as always. But then, if he's been alone for so long, he probably learned how to take care of himself.

He's more like me than I imagined. How selfish I was back then…

And then, suddenly, Sasuke was back to that day Kakashi found him and bound him to the tree to give him a talk.

“You wouldn't know anything!” Sasuke screamed at his sensei, rage flowing off him in waves. “You don't know what if feels like to have some important to you, die!”

“No.” His sensei had smiled. So casual. “Because all of my friends are dead anyway.”

And then later, he had said that we are lucky to have a second chance. To have friends now. To make a new life.

Sasuke turned away from the memory and stared down at the list again. It too was dated.

8 years ago. 8 years ago, he was here. Which means… that was just around the time I left. He came back here, just after I left. Why? What was here that he needed? What did he take?

In the study's shelves lay a huge amount of books and scrolls. Sasuke took down each one, shook them out, and scanned them. A lot of them were strategy books. All of them had the name Hatake Sakumo crossed out on the front page, with Hatake Kakashi replacing them in a very childish hand.

No wonder he's so smart - if he read all these, he sure did above and beyond his homework!

Nothing interesting besides a family genealogy scroll was to be found in the shelves. In the desk, Sasuke found an old fragmentary diary with another list written by Kakashi wedged in as a bookmark.

“Rafe. Still haven't gotten far enough. Must talk to Pakkun about this more in-depth. Ask Tsunade for time off for training. Sakura's exam is going to come up at the end of this year - must be there for that too. Note to self: don't be late! Also, need to get more dog biscuits for Pakkun - and buy a new tent as Father's is totally useless.”

Same date. 8 years ago.

Who the heck is Rafe?

And Sakura… he must have been at Sakura's Chuunin Exam, right?

Sasuke stowed away the journal and the paper along side the pictures, the first list and the scrolls. He had even snagged a couple of the miniature shuriken. Once packed, Sasuke stood there, making a farewell to the tomb of a great family. Without looking behind, he stepped out onto the huge patio out back and found his way through the massive garden to the very back - beyond the Shrine - where he found in the left hand corner of the estate, a broken down shed.

The young man gasped as he recognized the smell of old blood - and the scruff marks in the hardened mud - still present. Jerking out his small camera, he took multiple pictures of the ground - the claw like marks of a hand, and the broken wall of the flimsy shed. It looked as though somebody or something had been thrown at it. Three sets of foot prints.

Two with boots, one with….

Clogs???

Jiraiya???

And then the two boots walked towards the wall. Boots #1 seemed to have fallen and Boots #2 had obviously picked him up and carried him off. Clogs… Clogs had obviously been the one thrown against the shed…

Jiraiya-sama…

“Time off?”

“Like I said, resting my bones.”

“Hard mission?”

“Mission. No. Something personal came up. Hit me like a load of bricks, you could say. Well… I've got it in control. Give me time…”

What had happened here? Why didn't he tell me?

Sasuke jumped up and away, even more confused than before. He stopped at the top of the wall. And looked over the wilderness and then the huge main house, blocking the view of the rest of the houses and silent walk - and then the forever closed gates.

For him, he understood this. It was good that he had come. It reminded him that although the Uchiha were now slowly forgotten - that their homes were now empty - there was hope. It lay with him. He was there to carry it on.

He would not break faith with his father or his mother. He had walked in darkness - but now he lived in the land of the light. In the land of the living.

And like Kakashi-sensei had once risked his life to bring a teammate back, Sasuke would too. He could not break faith with his team. He would definitely not lose.

Without another word, he left.

Realization hit Kakashi hard in the middle of battle. Well… it was more like the end. As his kunai found its way across the throat of the enemy shinobi, he suddenly understood why it was this day of all days that he seemed to find the most sorrow in the green leaves and blood red flowers.

Why the sound of children grated on his nerves. Why Yukio's touch seemed filthy. Why the sun seemed too bright, why the farmers too peaceful, why the cicadas too cheery.

He hated it all and now he understood.

It was the anniversary of her death. The dark-haired beauty he never really knew other than the warm pair of arms around him as sat in her lap.

Mother.

Somebody's foot found a home in his ribs and as he doubled over, coughing up blood, while receiving a vicious kick to the head, all he though was -

Mother.

Yukio ended up saving Kakashi's butt.

“I'm only saving it because I need it,” he leered as he bent over the prostrate shinobi. “Looks like you did your arm in. Let's get you to a medic.”

“DON'T TOUCH ME!” Kakashi growled, rocking himself to his feet, slicing his mask off so he could spit his blood out onto the soft grass. “I'm fine.”

“Kakashi.”

“Shut up. Go away.”

“You need to get to bed.”

“I've got something else to do.”

“Let me help you.”

“No.”

“You can't -“

“Shut the fuck up and get the hell out of here before I rip your throat out!”

Perhaps it was the look in Kakashi's eyes or maybe his tone of voice when he said that. The tone - dead. Dead. Dead serious.

Yukio shivered.

“You're fucked, man,” he said.

Kakashi didn't reply - he merely watched as the hunter-nins came in to complete the job. Then he turned away.

“Kakashi.”

The white-haired nin didn't turn, so Yukio apparated in front of the man.

“Here.”

A soft black mask slid down over the Copy Nin's head - Kakashi blinked.

“Only I can see your face,” Yukio whispered, leaning forward to kiss Kakashi's shoulder. “You're mine, remember.”

He left before Kakashi could kill himself trying to kill him. Kakashi shrugged and turned away. He had more important things to worry about than Yukio or his badly cut and bandaged arm.

Mother.

If I break faith with you… you shall not sleep.

Sleep, mother, sleep.

Next episode:

Naruto fainted at the amount of mission reports.

“You said you wanted to see all of them,” Tsunade grinned evilly. “Here are all the unclassified stuff - including his notes on Team 7.”

“Woah… I'll need help…”

“Feh. Don't look at me like that…”

“Well… I take some from everything and leave the rest here. I've got to go talk to people…”

“Don't try to run away from this Naruto… NARUTOOO!!! Get the hell back here and clean this up!!! Naruto!” A pause. “Izumo! Kotetsu!”

“Hai, hai!”

“Get this crap out of here - Ah! You brought Jiraiya-sama!”

“You'd think she'd be grateful.”

“You'd think she'd be kind.”

“Why is it always us?”

“Shhh… if we're surreptitious, we can listen in to what Jiraiya's come to talk about…”

“Oh yeah…”

“You've got a brain, Hagane… use it.”

Kakashi rarely showed his face in public places anymore. But this was important. It was the least he could do for her. He would do anything. Besides, dusk had fallen - and nobody would be out now, would they?

But the memorial, the family shrine and the graveyard each have an important visitor.