Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Immortal Bitches ❯ What the ( Chapter 11 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

WHAT THE…?!

After a week the girls found themselves in a hotel room traveling with Naruto and Jiraiya looking for someone. Alex really needed this cause after the Hokage's death and Cassie's kidnap she was about to have a crisis.

Alex and Rouyakan looked around the room and saw Naruto trying to train with a few of his Kage Bunshin's. Seeing as they seemed to be the odd one's out with nothing to do, they had taken it upon themselves to raid the fridge and were now lying aimlessly on the extra bed.

“Man, how long is Jiraiya going to hang out with that whore?” asked Alex, who was hanging upside-down at the edge of the bed.

“Knowing that idiot, it'll be hours.” said Rouyakan, sipping some sort of soda and noticing all the kage bunshin's going to sleep.

“Ugh! I'm boooored! There's no cable TV or internet or movie theaters here!” whined Alex, and as soon as she said that, they felt a draft coming from the door. “Naruto, close the door!” yelled both girls. “Fine, fine! Geez, hold your horses…” said Naruto as he walked toward the door. He opened it and just stood there. About two seconds later Rouyakan got mad and kicked the door shut on someone's balls and hand. “Naruto, if no one is there then just close the damn door!” yelled Rouyakan. “Damn drafts…”She sighed under her breath, resuming her position on the bed.

After about a minute the door knocked again and Alex, being the closest, answered it. “Hello?”

“…Uh…” Alex stared at the blue-skinned man in the black and red coat, who looked a little confused.

“Sorry, we're not interested.” said Alex as she closed the door in his face. There was a knock on the door once more, and Rouyakan went over and flung the door open. “What do you want?!” She asked with an annoyed tone to her voice.

“We're here to collect something,” A person with black hair and a coat like the blue-skinned guy said. Rouyakan thought for a minute, then turned back to the room. “Alex! Did you go gambling?!”

“No!”

“Then you have the wrong room.” said Rouyakan and slammed the door.

Right away someone started knocking again. “Naruto, you answer the damn door!” Rouyakan yelled out, pissed off that someone kept bothering them. Naruto opened the door and Alex and Rouyakan overheard, “To think that this little boy has the nine-tailed fox demon in him…” The girls saw the two people from before and went to find their weapons, which Alex had pushed under the bed and forgotten.

“Naruto-kun, will you come with us?” said the dark-haired one as Naruto walked out into the hall.

“Damn it Alex! Where the hell are our weapons?!” growled Rouyakan, looking in the closet.

“Found them!” sang out Alex, pulling the sword and scythe out from under the bed and dusting them off.

Outside, the two strangers were talking to themselves. “Itachi-san, it would be annoying if he moved around. Perhaps we should cut off a leg or two.” The blue-skinned one, whose name was Kisame, grinned as he grabbed his sword. Naruto had a face that screamed `omgholyshit!'As Kisame stepped forward, suddenly Rouyakan and Alex came flying in (literally) and kicked him in the head. “Boot to the head!” Alex yelled as the guy hit the wall.

“You bitch!” He yelled, holding his head.

“You know Rouyakan, we get that a lot…” said Alex with a smug smirk. “Can I have Shark-boy?” Rouyakan also smirked and said. “No I want him…you can have his girlfriend.” Alex pouted. “Fine.” She turned to Itachi and said, “You're going down girly!”

“I'm not a girl.” The man huffed.

“Are you in denial or something?” asked Alex. Rouyakan turned her attention to Itachi and looked at him.

“Don't lie! You are a girl! I mean, look at that hair. No guy has hair that silky! I bet you use Herbal Essence.”

“Herbal… sessions?” questioned Itachi as the girls began to pet his hair. Well, that was what Rouyakan was doing. Alex was making sure he was the right gender. Alex felt his chest; she felt no boobs. She got confused and felt him up. Itachi's eyes went wide like someone had just stabbed him through the chest. “What the hell are you doing girl?!” snapped Itachi, smacking her hands away.

“Ahhh! My virgin hands!!” cried Alex as she ran around in circles, her hands outstretched. Rouyakan smacked her upside the head. “Get a hold of yourself and fight him!” She said as Itachi regained his composer.

“It's been a long time…” everyone turned around and saw Sasuke standing at the end of the hallway.

“Sasuke?! What the hell are you doing here?” asked Alex pointing a finger at him. Sasuke seemed to ignore her.

“Uchiha Itachi…” Sasuke glared at Itachi.

Soon a deathly silence went around the room. When Naruto whispered. “Uchiha…Itachi…?” Alex did something stupid and sang, “Dun dun dun!” Everyone turned to Alex like she was the biggest idiot in the world as she laughed sheepishly. Kisame then turned to look at Sasuke.

“The Sharingan… and he's looks like you… Who is he?” A little silence went around the room.

Rouyakan said, “They're probably long-lost cousins, Fish-boy.”

“He's my little brother.” Itachi said this like you might say that you saw grass.

Shock when throughout the hallway. When Kisame said. “I heard the entire Uchiha clan was killed… by you.”

“Woohoo! You hear that Sasuke? I didn't kill your clan! It's Girly-man's fault!” yelled Alex. Sasuke ignored her.

“Uchiha Itachi! I'm going to kill you!” Sasuke declared. Alex looked over at Itachi and didn't see his soul outside his body, which was a sign that death was near for that person. She quietly said, “No, you're not.”

“Like you said… I hated you… Detested you… And just to kill you, I've…!” Sasuke powered up his Chidori, “I've survived… And…!”

“Sasuke!” cried out Naruto.

“I'm going to kill you!” finished Sasuke, and lunging forward he put his hand to the wall leaving a gaping trail in the side of it. The girls shut their eyes and soon they heard a big explosion.

“Great job, Sasuke! Why don't you go and blow up the rest of the hotel too while you're at it!” coughed Rouyakan, covering her mouth and nose with her sleeve. Alex bit her lip, squinting her eyes and frowning. The smoke cleared and Itachi stood there, holding Sasuke's hand back like his attack was nothing.

“Alex! Go help him!” Rouyakan yelled to Alex as she saw Itachi about to break Sasuke's wrist.

“Right.” Alex ran to Sasuke as Naruto made a hand seal.

“I have to do something!” Naruto muttered, making the seals for Kage Bunshin no Jutsu. But Naruto had used up all his own charka with his training earlier, so instead of his own blue-colored chakra, Kyuubi's reddish-orange power began to fill the room.

“Naruto, stop!” yelled Rouyakan, moving towards him.

“Why you…!” Sasuke gasped, glaring up at his brother.

“You're a bother…” Itachi gave an effortless twist and broke Sasuke's wrist. Sasuke screamed in pain, falling to the ground as Itachi released his grip. Alex rushed over to him. “See Sasuke? When you rush into to things stuff like this happens!” Alex looked at his wrist as Rouyakan kept her eye on Naruto.

“Kuso!” Naruto cursed as he bit his thumb and started his summoning jutsu.

“Too slow!” said Kisame as he swung his sword down. Naruto's Kyuubi chakra began filtering into his weapon. “Shit!” Rouyakan jumped in front of Naruto, her own sword at the ready.

“Out of the way, youkai, or I'll take your power as well… My Samehada can shave and devour any chakra!” Kisame moved too, readying his Samehada for another attack. “It would be annoying if you or he used a petty jutsu. I should take your chakra and then perhaps cut off his legs and arms, take both of you back with us and seal you in someone. You could be the tenth Jinchuuriki.” Kisame grinned evilly. Rouyakan flexed her claws. “Who says we use chakra?” Kisame raised his sword up and brought it down with lightning speed. Rouyakan braced herself for the impending clash, but there was a poof and smoke poured into the hallway. Through the smoke they saw a large frog had caught Kisame's sword and was holding it still.

“Well that was anticlimactic.” Said Alex as she started to brace Sasuke's broken wrist.

“You two don't know me very well.” Jiraiya's voice drifted out of the smoke. “Jiraiya the man… is better at winning the girl than being seduced by one! I wouldn't let a woman seduce me with her beauty. When you become great like me, women go crazy over your own beauty!”

“No, they don't!” Yelled Rouyakan and Alex in unison. “You're a pervert who keeps trying to touch us!”

“Yeah you're always trying to cop a feel off them, Ero-sennin!” Naruto added.

“Stop calling me `Ero-sennin'!” Jiraiya yelled back.

“He is the great Jiraiya…? This man was praised as one of the legendary Sennin. After all, you must be him, even if you are an extreme lover of women. I knew I couldn't hold you off that easily.” Kisame slung his sword over his shoulder.

“What…? What are you talking about?” asked Rouyakan, still crouching for an attack. “You mean… You MADE UP that woman from before?”

“What?!” Naruto looked shocked.

“So you are after Naruto, after all.” Jiraiya's face had become serious.

“It is an urgent order to by our organization, Akatsuki, to take Naruto-kun with us.” Itachi met Jiraiya's glare with a detached gaze. Naruto just stood in a stupor.

“Oh HELL no, bitch!” yelled Alex, twirling her scythe expertly in her hands. “Naruto is going to stay right here with us. I need him for his food back at his house.” Itachi looked dumbfounded at that last statement. After a minute he closed his eyes, chuckling to himself. “We'll see about that.” He said.

“Very well then, I'll have to get rid of you two here and now.” Jiraiya started to move, but out of nowhere Sasuke interrupted.

“Don't interfere! The one who is going to kill him… is me!”

“Uh, Sasuke sweetie, shouldn't you lay low? I mean, your wrist is broken.” Alex pointed out.

“I have no interest in you right now.” Itachi turned from Sasuke, ignoring him.

“Shut up!!” Sasuke screamed as he ran towards Itachi, pushing Alex out of the way. Itachi lashed out at Sasuke, kicking him across the room with surprising power. Sasuke went flying backwards, hitting the opposite wall with a thud. “Sasuke!” yelled Naruto, running towards him, but Rouyakan grabbed his arm.

“Don't… This is Sasuke's fight.” She said, watching the two siblings carefully. “There's no need to worry anyway. Alex will interfere.” Sasuke looked up at this.

“Her? She better not interfere! I've lived for this day!” Sasuke stood up, leaning against the wall.

“Sasuke, let's put it this way. If this was a video game, you would be level twenty and he…” Alex pointed to Itachi. “Would be level 100. In other words, he's gonna kick your ass into next week!”

“What the hell does that mean?! This is my battle anyway! Butt out!”

“Very well.” Itachi smirked. Rouyakan stepped forward to help Sasuke, but Kisame blocked her. “You heard him. This is a battle between the two of them. Let's not interfere, shall we?” said Kisame with mock politeness.

“Fine then.” Rouyakan matched his fake attitude. “Alex. Help Sasuke.”

“'Kay!” Alex ran over to Sasuke. Itachi regarded her for a brief second, then backhanded her with enough force to break her neck, sending her back a good few feet. Unfortunately for Itachi, he didn't know she was immortal. Glancing back to his brother, he said, “Come.”

“Bring it on, then!” Sasuke aimed a powerful punch at him. Itachi just stared at him and kicked him again, then elbowed him in the back of his neck, sending Sasuke off balance. With another expert move, he had pinned Sasuke up against the wall, his hand pressed against his neck. “You are… weak. Why are you weak?” Itachi bent close to Sasuke's ear and whispered, “Because you lack… hatred.” Alex's laughter rang throughout the hallway.

“Oh my god!” Alex was holding her sides, busting out laughing. “Sasuke, you suck BIG TIME! You totally got your ass OWNED!” Itachi was utterly confused as to why that girl wasn't dead. Sasuke, on the other hand, got mad. “You! Shut your mouth! You know nothing of this!” Sasuke yelled, as well as he could seeing as Itachi was practically choking him.

“Oh pff, you didn't even land a single punch on him, and after all that big talk too. What's not funny about that?”

“Well what did you do?!” Sasuke yelled.

“I, by pure mistake, felt him up. But that's a different story--” Itachi deciding to end this conversation early by focusing back on Sasuke. “Tsukiyomi.”

“Alex, you are so retarded.” muttered Rouyakan in embarrassment.

“Oh, come on Rouyakan, you have to admit Sasuke getting pwned is funny!” laughed Alex.

“First off, never say pwned again, or I'll thrash you. Second… Yeah, Sasuke's pretty stupid.” Rouyakan laughed.

“And emo too.” Alex added. Everyone sweatdropped. Jiraiya did some hand seals and the whole hallway became the inside of a frog. “Alex I can't decide if this is cool or disgusting.” said Rouyakan.

“Disgusting! Hey Jiraiya, what the hell do you call this?” Yelled Alex.

“Ninpo Gamaguchi Shibari.” stated Jiraiya.

“Uh Rouyakan, after this can we get the fuck outta here?” Alex moved away from the sides of the `stomach'.

“Yeah, this just getting too weird.” Rouyakan sighed.

The two criminals disappeared. Jiraiya released the jutsu.

“I think were going to go. If we stay with you who knows how much trouble we'll get in to.” said Alex.

“Yeah. See ya.” Rouyakan closed her eyes and in a burst of black flame she had transformed into a giant black wolf. Alex hopped on and off they went after Itachi and Kisame.

“We do not need Naruto in his present condition.” The girls heard as they got closer to the duo.

“All right.” said Kisame. “…Something on your mind?”

“It's nothing, just that when I backhanded that girl, she should've been dead…” Sensing a presence behind him, he turned and saw Rouyakan (who he didn't recognize in her wolf form), but then he saw Alex, who was yelling “Woohoo!!” at the top of her lungs.

Itachi did a few swift hand seals and created a chakra net that ensnared the two girls and bought them smashing down. Alex was the first to hit the ground, so she recovered soon before Rouyakan. “Oi Rouyakan, you okay?” Alex asked as her friend turned back into her hybrid form.

“Yeah… I'm fine.”

Alex twirled Tsuuka and with a few well-aimed strokes cut through the net. The two shinobi's stood a little ways from them. “Who are you?” Itachi questioned.

“Rouyakan.” The wolf youkai growled.

“So, the rumors of a youkai named Rouyakan appearing here are true… Then who is the other girl?”

“Oh I'm Alexandria but call me Alex and I'm the daughter of death.” said Alex in one long breath. It took about three seconds to realize what she said. “Oh shit, I shouldn't have said that, huh?”

“No duh.” said Rouyakan.

Itachi took a step forward. “Well Kisame, looks like we won't come back empty handed.”

“What…?” exclaimed the two girls.

“You heard me.” Itachi began to walk calmly towards them. “Kisame, go, I'll handle this.”

“No you don't!” Rouyakan growled as she changed back to her wolven form. Alex moved to stand beside her but the youkai growled low. Alex knew that she was telling her, `This is my battle; you're not going to interfere.' She backed off but still held her scythe at the ready, intent on the coming clash.

The two faced off for a few seconds, sizing each other up. Then with a roar, Rouyakan lunged towards Itachi with frightening speed. Itachi jumped back, but he wasn't fast enough; Rouyakan's claws caught his cloak and ripped four gashes in the fabric.

“Not bad.” Itachi said. Rouyakan showed her teeth in an almost sadistic smile. “But can you keep it up?” In the blink of an eye, he had disappeared and appeared again near her shoulder. Rouyakan twisted away, but not before she felt the kunai pierce her shoulder. She yelped and lashed out, leaving a nice set of gashes along his arm and shoulder. Itachi retreated into the trees, and Rouyakan followed, using a fire summon. Black flames licked at the spot Itachi had just been. Rouyakan growled low; as good a fighter as she was, the ex-shinobi was just as good, plus he had the advantage of knowing his surroundings; she had never been here before. Sniffing, she caught his scent and followed him, cornering him. With a snarl, she jumped for him, claws outstretched, fangs bared, eyes narrowed. She got close enough that Itachi saw her slitted pupils before he reacted, plunging another kunai into her chest. Rouyakan's eyes widened, before she went limp and met the ground.

“Tch. Almost, youkai.” He murmured, as Alex appeared from the trees. She looked at Rouyakan's still form before readying her own weapon. Alex grumbled, she now had to fight the so-dubbed `girly-man'. “You do know that you could always come quietly…” said Itachi.

“Not on your life.” Alex took Tsuuka and in a fluid motion sliced through the air, calling “Death Slash!” as a black blade cut through the air at Itachi. Itachi just dodged it with a neat backflip. He smirked until he noticed that Alex was missing. Hearing a whoosh of air behind him from the trees, he whirled around and saw Alex on her scythe flying straight for him. She angled Tsuuka expertly so it was straight up and down, then balanced herself on the palm of her hand and slammed her legs into his shoulder. She followed through by pinning him to the ground with her legs.

“What now?” Alex grinned.

Itachi just smirked and flipped her off of him… but as luck would go, it turned out that he found himself in between her legs because Alex had started to move at the same time he did.

“P-p-pervert!” stuttered Alex, going red.

“Please.” Itachi let her go. “Stop this. You're embarrassing yourself.” Alex took the opportunity to kick him. Muttering something in tongues, a beautiful decorated urn appeared in her hand. Alex opened it, took out a handful of ashes and threw them up in the air, yelling, “Ashes of death!” Soon the area around the two was surrounded in an ashy fog. Little did she realize that Itachi had used a clone and was actually underground.

“Don't breathe it in or you'll die a painful death.” said Alex as she heard coughing. “I won!” She turned towards Rouyakan. “C'mon, Rouyakan, wake up--” As she said that Itachi's hands shot up from the ground and grabbed her ankles. Alex screamed and fell to the ground. Itachi pinned her down and whispered. “Looks like you lose.” He smacked a pressure point on her neck and she blacked out. Itachi smirked and picked up both the girl and the wolf, slung them over his shoulders and headed off to where Kisame was.

A few hours later Alex awoke with an insanely large headache and looking into total darkness. `Ooh, my head…' thought Alex. “Where's aspirin when you need it?' As her eyes adjusted to the dark, she noted that they were in some kind of barred off cave. Hearing footsteps, she looked up and thought she saw Sasuke, but she was wrong as she heard a familiar voice say with mock eloquence, “I see you have awoken.”

“Ugh. Do you have an aspirin?” asked Alex stupidly. Itachi stared, wondering what `aspirin' was. “You suuuck.” Alex whined, holding a hand to her head. Itachi just looked at Alex blankly, making her pissed off.

“You better tell me where I am, where my weapon is, and where Rouyakan is, right now!” She shouted at the top of her lungs. Itachi just turned and walked away.

Alex really wanted to kill him, but she was more worried about Rouyakan, so she began feeling for her in the dark. She searched until her hand met Rouyakan's ears. She couldn't tell how bad her injuries from before were, and she began to get scared from being the only (conscious) one there. `Please, Rouyakan. This is no time to be asleep!' thought Alex hysterically. Alex swallowed her fear and lay down next to Rouyakan, pulling her tail over herself like a blanket.

END CHAPTER

ChibiRouyakan: Whoo! How'd ya like that?! shakes fist at screen I'm back in action! Sorry about the almost year-long delay, tons of stuff came up, not including problems with Alexandria's horses having issues and my getting a new job. So sorry!! ..; Anyway, I know you've all been waiting patiently for it and here it is! Chapter 12 will be up in the next two weeks, hopefully. I'm happy to be reinstated as editor. :

Something I like about the new arc we're getting into in the fic is that I get to show that the girls aren't just all talk! Especially Alex. I like how she's so inanely stupid and joking most of the time, but when it gets down to it, she's all business! I hope I can help portray that side of her better for Alexandria. Rouyakan too; this was the first time you get to see her wolf youkai form! I'm so happy:3 Check out the art I put up at my DeviantArt (http://hitokirirouyakan. to see Rouyakan and Itachi in a “screenshot” from their battle, plus more stuff. And you can see a sketch of something that will give you a clue on how the story arc's gonna go. Yay!