Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Immortal Bitches ❯ Random Blond Chick returns ( Chapter 13 )

Chapter 13

Random Blonde Chick Returns

 

 

RBC was currently in her room bored out of her mind. She had just recently beaten up a nerd to do her homework, but now there was nothing to do. So when in doubt she goes to her computer to bother the two girls in the Naruto world realm. Her computer screen made a vortex and RBC was sucked in.

 

The four mismatched crew of immortal girls and shinobi guys were now on the road heading to wherever Itachi and Kisame were taking them. The nice cool breeze and bright sunshine through the green scenery was peaceful enough, but that morning had been quite funny, well for the girls not the boys. Last night (as we well know) the girls had taken a bit of revenge. They had dyed Itachi's hair bright pink and glued Kisame's hand to his private area. It had taken a lot of patience and a few creative ninjutsu to help Kisame out of his “predicament” and Itachi's hair was still a bright bubblegum pink, although a bit faded now. So all and all Itachi and Kisame were, understandably, pissed at the girls.

 

“You know we're going to punish you.” muttered Itachi darkly.

 

“Yeah last time you said that you didn't do anything.” Alex snorted.

 

“I hate this… I hate them… I hate both…” Kisame glowered.

 

“We think it was funny.” Rouyakan grinned.

 

“Hysterical.” Itachi rolled his eyes.

 

“Man, but your faces this morning were great! A true Kodak moment.” Alex giggled.

 

“I hate you… I hate that wolf-girl… I hate this…” Kisame continued his little rant.

 

“We love you too, Shark-Boy.”

 

“Ooh, we also made Itachi scream like a girl this morning.” That memory sent both the girls into a fit of helpless laughter.

 

Itachi, who was currently carrying the girls' weapons today, took Alex's scythe and pointed at her. “Shut up.”

 

“Make me.” said Alex as she stuck her tongue out at him.

 

“As you wish.” Itachi as he strode towards her, happy that he was about to beat the girl who thought up that stupid prank, when out of nowhere a blonde girl popped up, took one look at Itachi, and bust out laughing.

 

“Wow, I do believe that this is the first time she has never bitch-slapped anyone.” said Rouyakan with a dumbfounded look.

 

“Wow that IS a first.” Alex agreed with Rouyakan.

 

RBC laughing had subsided to a chuckle and she was about to leave when Alex asked, “Hey, aren't you going to slap anyone?”

RBC turned and said, “Oh I already slapped someone that has no significance to this plot whatsoever.”

 

“Oh. Okay.” And with that RBC disappeared.

 

Itachi grabbed the girls by the collars of their shirts and venomously asked, “Who the hell was that?”

 

“Uh yeah… That's `Random Blond Chick' or RBC for short. She randomly appears and bitch-slaps people.” explained Rouyakan.

 

“And thanks to us you two weren't bitch-slapped.” Alex added.

 

“I want some ice cream…” said Rouyakan randomly.

 

“Is that all you think about?” asked Itachi, annoyed that Rouyakan asked for junk food for the fifth time since they kidnapped the girls.

 

“No, but with you two… We just love to annoy you.” Alex grinned.

 

“…”

 

“Come on, you brats.” ordered Kisame.

 

Alex got a little miffed and snapped, “We're not brats! We're probably older than you.”

 

“Yeah right. A pipsqueak like you can't be older than twelve.” sneered Kisame.

 

“I'll have you know I'm 16!” Alex shot back.

 

“Really now. You act more like a kid.” Kisame feigned a high-pitched girl voice. “`Ooh, I want ice cream.' Haha.”

 

“Well you're just high and mighty aren't you, `Jaws Reject'!” yelled Alex. “and I'm not that small. I'm 5'2.”

 

“Well, Itachi-san is taller and older than you.”

 

Alex was pissed that she was made to look like a fool so she took her anger out on Kisame by kicking him in the face. Rouyakan bent down to where Kisame was now on the ground. “And pray tell how old you are, Shark-Boy?”

 

“Twenty one.”

 

“Eighteen.” Came Itachi's voice.

 

“Ha! I have you all beat. I'm six hundred and forty-nine.” Rouyakan stuck her tongue out at them.

 

“That's impossible.” Itachi said.

 

“Not if you're a youkai like me. I was born during the time of feudal Japan. Muromachi period, to be exact.”

 

“What's feudal Japan?”

 

“Wha-- You don't know what feudal Japan is?! You speak Japanese for Grandpa's sake! How can you not know your own country's history?” yelled Alex in astonishment.

 

“YOU know two languages.” muttered Rouyakan at Alex's stupidity.

 

“Oh yeah I do. Haha.”

 

“How can she know another language? There's only one language in the entire world.” asked Kisame as he suddenly recovered form the kick to his face.

 

“Maybe in YOUR world it is. In ours there are hundreds of different languages.” Rouyakan said.

 

“(Yep. English is my native tongue.)” said Alex in perfect English.

 

“What the hell did she just say?” asked Kisame, confused.

 

“That was English.”

 

“In-grish… Interesting… Do you know anymore languages?” Itachi studied her.

 

“Only English and Japanese.” said Alex sheepishly.

 

“Yeah, English is her native tongue. She's from America.” Rouyakan explained.

 

“Ah…meer…eeka” said Itachi slowly as if someone said some thing ridiculous.

 

“Yep, home of the brave, land of the free, all that good stuff.” Alex put her fist in the air. The guys looked at her blankly.

 

“My country's motto.” said Alex sheepishly.

 

“Tell us more about this country you're from?” asked Itachi, intrigued.

 

Alex told them how messed up politics were, kinda like how everything was here, how everything worked and about the culture in America.

 

“Your country is… very interesting.” said Itachi after all the explanations.

 

“Hey I just remembered something I wanted to ask you.” said Alex as she climbed onto Itachi's shoulders. “It's about how you killed your clan. What I'm wondering is why?” She bent over his head so she was staring him in the eyes.

 

“To test my capacity.” He stated simply as he pushed Alex off.

“Bullshit.” said the girls in unison. Itachi was taken aback by the statement.

 

“Ha, I knew it wasn't true.” Rouyakan poked him in the side.

 

“Permission to guess aimlessly at why Private Itachi killed his clan, Admiral Rouyakan!” asked Alex, saluting Rouyakan.

 

“Permission granted, General Alex.” said Rouyakan, saluting back. Itachi just looked at the two girls like they were aliens from another planet.

 

“Okay! Did you kill your clan because they found out you were filtering free cable for porn?” asked Rouyakan.

 

“Was it because you found out you were an incest child?” asked Alex.

 

Itachi was looking between the two like they were crazy.

 

Suddenly someone else said, “Was it because you were high and thought your clan members were all the people you killed wanting revenge?” asked RBC, leaning on Alex's shoulder.

 

“When the hell did you get here?!” yelled Alex in alarm.

 

“Oh, I've been here for some time.”

 

“Ooo-kay.” said Rouyakan, a bit weirded out.

 

“Um...Ooh, I have one! Did you do it because your father molested you?”

 

“Or that your parents discovered you were making crystal meth?”

 

Itachi was shocked over how off all these guesses were getting and how none of them were even remotely right, plus he had no idea what `crystal meth' was.

 

Rouyakan, who had been silently for sometime now, said quietly, “Did you do it for your brother?” Itachi said nothing and turned his head away.

 

“I got it right, didn't I.”

 

Itachi said nothing and just kept walking.

 

“Well that was insightful.” said Alex. “If I had my powers I could have called upon the files of the netherworld.”

 

“What the hell are those?” asked Kisame.

 

“They're files on everyone in existence. It records every sin, every good deed, and your entire life.” Alex shaped the air with her hands, indicating a folder.

 

“So we're being spied on.” Itachi commented.

 

“No. It's complicated to explain… Grams can't really explain it that well either.” said Alex.

 

“And your grandmother is…”

 

“Satan.”

 

Itachi just looked surprised. And highly doubtful. “You're lying.”

 

“Am not!”

 

“It's true, I've met Satan about a hundred times.” said Rouyakan.

 

“Who else is on your father's side?” asked Kisame. “Let me guess, god?”

 

“You two need a little bit of my family history.” Said Alex. “Okay, it all began a few billion years ago. My grandpa, god met my grandma Satan. They fell in love and created the earth together along with the other realms. That was sort of an engagement present to Grams… It was so romantic… They then had two children: my aunt `Life' and my father `Death', but the happy times didn't last long, because my grandfather blessed the Virgin Mary or something. She gave birth to his other son. Grandma found out and basically turned evil and cursed Grandpa's son, Grandpa found out about this and banished her to where forsaken souls go, also known as Hell.”

 

“So I bet your mother was an angel or something.” Scoffed Kisame.

 

“No, my mother was human.” said Alex almost sadly. There was a pause.

 

“Death made love to a human? So basically you're a hanyou?”

 

“No, You idiot!” yelled Alex. “I'm a deity. I'm not a god, but I'm not a human. That makes me a deity”

 

About a couple hours of (almost) silence later, they made camp in a little clearing in the forest. Later at night when all the stars were out but the girls still weren't tired.

 

“Hey Rouyakan, do you have any cards?” asked Alex.

 

Rouyakan rummaged through her sleeves and pulled out a deck of cards. Alex whispered something in Rouyakan's ear. Rouyakan smiled and then said, “Okay boys, we're going to teach you `strip poker'.”

 

“What's that?” asked Kisame.

 

“It's a card game in our world. It's like poker where the highest hand wins, but the winner gets to tell everyone what one item of clothing to take off too. Winner is dealer.”

 

“I'm dealer for first round!” Alex called and the game began. The results?

 

Alex: Full house

Rouyakan: Royal straight

Itachi: Flush

Kisame: 2 pair

 

“I win.” stated Rouyakan. “Okay, take off one shoe everyone.” Everyone removed one shoe and Rouyakan took the deck.

 

“Hey, you forgot about me.” said RBC as she jumped down from a tree.

 

“Okay, whatever.” stated Rouyakan as she dealt RBC in.

 

Alex: 4 pair

Rouyakan: Flush

Itachi: Flush

RBC: Royal straight flush

Kisame: 3 pair

 

“All right! Forehead protectors for the boys, girls, the other shoe.” RBC grinned.

 

The game went throughout the night, ending with Alex and Rouyakan in their shorts and bras. Itachi had only his pants on and his hair was down (he lost his hair tie), Kisame was down to his boxers and RBC had lost only her shoes.

 

“I win again!” yelled Rouyakan.

 

Kisame grumbled as he went to take off his boxers.

 

“Whoa there, Shark-Boy! No one wants to see that.” Alex covered her eyes hastily.

 

“What if it was me?” asked Itachi.

 

“We wouldn't want to see that either.” Rouyakan said.

 

“I just wanted you two to lose your bras.” said Kisame sadly.

 

“You wish, boob-boy.” Alex scoffed.

 

The game ended there because everyone was, for once, in agreement that they didn't want to see a naked Kisame. Everyone put their clothes back on and got ready to sleep, except for RBC who had disappeared again, presumably back home. If everyone hadn't been so tired, they might've realized that Alex and Rouyakan could've gotten home again with her, but that detail had escaped them.

 

Alex was out like a light within minutes, and Kisame wasn't far behind her. Itachi had gone off somewhere, leaving Rouyakan to toss and turn, trying to get some sleep. Sighing and running her hands through her long raven hair up to her wolf ears. Sighing again, she sat up and looked around. Alex was still out, so she decided to go for a walk. Knowing she'd just get caught if she tried running away without her powers fully restored and not wanting to leave Alex behind anyway, she made her way through the trees. That was the one thing she liked about this world; there were tons of trees and greenery yet she could still walk around. Pushing through an unexpectedly dense part of foliage, Rouyakan found herself in a large field. It was a gorgeous view, the ground was almost obscured by small wildflowers and there was an ample view of the stars. She sighed contently and flopped down, sending up a small shower of petals and put her hands behind her head.

 

`If only Alex was here. She'd like this place.' thought Rouyakan.

 

“I know you're there.” Itachi's voice came from somewhere in the clearing. Rouyakan smirked.

 

“I didn't think I would be discovered.” Rouyakan began follow Itachi's scent, vaguely thinking that it smelled like cinnamon. She found Itachi in the center of the clearing looking up at the stars. His hair was going back to his original jet-black color, thanks to a few ninjutsu, and now there were only faint traces of pink streaks left. Compared to the fully hot pink color from before, it was an improvement.

 

`This is new. Didn't know he was one for stargazing.' thought Rouyakan. She lay down next to him and after a minute or two of silence began to trace the constellations with her claw. Itachi glanced over at her, turning and leaning propped up on his elbow. “What are you doing?”

 

“Tracing the constellations.” Rouyakan said simply.

 

“That's stupid.” Rouyakan punched him in the arm. “You really think that hurt.” said Itachi cockily. `…Pain.' he grimaced inwardly.

 

“Liar.” Rouyakan began to trace the constellation Pegasus.

 

“What are you doing now?”

 

“Tracing Pegasus.” She rolled her eyes. If only he knew he sounded like a kid with all those questions…

 

“What's that?”

 

“The winged horse in Greek mythology.”

 

Itachi blinked.

 

“You know, Greece…? Rome…?” No response. “The saying `Rome wasn't built in a day'?” All she got was a blank stare. But Rouyakan was on a roll, so she continued. As she was babbling Itachi interrupted her.

 

“What is `Rome'?”

 

“Oh, it's this place in our world. I've traveled the world, and let me tell you, Rome WAS built in a day. Those guys are small, but damn, those bastards are fast.” All she got was a `WTF' look.

 

“I'll just say it's a pretty amazing city… for being built in the old days that is.”

 

“City?” questioned Itachi.

 

“It's a village… A really big village.” Rouyakan held her arms out, indicating she meant BIG.

 

“Your world seems… interesting.” said Itachi.

 

“Oh, it's pretty amazing. We have the pyramids, the sphinx, and the Leaning Tower of Pisa. All of these were built hundreds of years ago so it was all man-made.”

 

“Pyramids…Sphinx… Leaning Tower of Pisa?” Itachi repeated each name slowly.

 

“Yeah. You guys don't have those here… Well the pyramids are these tombs for the dead kings of Egypt. They were like the Hokage, except they didn't have a surname like that. And the cool thing is these kings are preserved. And the sphinx is this big statue shaped like a lion with the head of a man. And the Leaning Tower of Pisa is a tower in this country called Italy, and it… uh, leans.” finished Rouyakan.

 

Itachi just looked again at Rouyakan and asked, “Is that all?”

 

“Well, we have more history in our world… Personally I think you'd like the Lizzy Boardan Case.” said Rouyakan.

 

“Lizzy Boardan?” Itachi questioned again. Although he was trying to feint uninterest, he was in fact quite interested in her world.

 

“Well she was accused of murdering her parents with a hatchet. She gave her parents each forty whacks. She was never caught though.”

 

“That's disgusting.”

 

“You have no room to talk. You killed your family.” Rouyakan pointed out.

 

“That was different.” said Itachi, turning away from Rouyakan.

 

“Sure. Right. Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

 

There was a brief pause and then Rouyakan said, “I know it's not my place to say this, but I don't think you had to kill your entire clan to help your brother. I think he would've been just as driven in life with a different goal. And…” she paused awkwardly, “I think you two would've been really close.”

 

They were silent after that. Itachi was still turned away and not talking so Rouyakan busied herself with tracing more constellations, embarrassed that she had said all that to someone who had kidnapped her and held her hostage. She was in the middle of figuring out Ursa Minor when she felt her eyelids beginning to droop. She tried to stay awake, but soon she was fast asleep.

 

Itachi was now curious again about Rouyakan's world. He wanted to find out what sort of ninja's they had. “Hey… wolf-girl.” Itachi turned to face Rouyakan only to find her asleep. He prodded her in the side. “Hey.” Push. “Wake up.” Prod. “Hey.” Shake. But Rouyakan stayed dutifully asleep. Sighing, he tried again to wake her up. He didn't want to carry her back (and he didn't want to be seen carrying her back), but nothing he did made her budge. `Youkai sure sleep heavily.' He thought with an inward sigh. `You owe me BIG for this.' Itachi carefully picked her up bridal style and carried her back to the small campsite. After a moment of thought, he made his way back to the field they had been in before. Laying down, he pointed at the sky.

 

“Pegasus, huh…?”

 

000000000-END CHAPTER-000000000

 

CHIBI ROUYAKAN: All right. Another chapter done. :] I like that little “sort-of friendship” moment between Itachi and Rouyakan. Yay for friendship. (I haven't had my daily caffeine dose yet. Forgive me. :P )

And sorry that Itachi and especially Kisame are kinda OOC, but for the purposes of this fic, that's the way they need to be. :/ I tried to keep them as close to their original personalities as I could.

Thanks for sticking with us another chapter further and please continue to read, enjoy and review.