Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Life is Lovelier the Second Time Around ❯ The owls man! The freakin owls! ( Chapter 5 )

Disclaimer: Let's play twenty questions. Am I Misashi Kishimoto? No…why would you ask something so specific first? Am I a guy who doesn't own Naruto? Yes…the last question pretty much took care of that. Am I Abe Lincoln? *Bang Bang* Did I just kill you? Yes I…wait how can you ask me that if you're…ZOMBIE!!! OH DEAR GOD MY BRAINS!!!!! *now zombafied* or american dad…brains…must eat Frank Caliendo's (who's act I borrowed but don't own) brains…

 

AN: Uh…if you're reading this and liking it. Please read my collection of Hinata/Naruto oneshots creatively titled…Hinata and Naruto…and there goes another stupid title. Also, no I couldn't resist. It has to and will come full circle. When will it strike next. You have no idea what I'm talking about huh? Ahahaha! Also repetition, repetition, repetition! Hahahaha!

 

Kandy Apple 08: Thanks for the review I hope you keep reading.

 

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Hinata woke with a yawn and climbed out of bed. She and Naruto had gotten home around four in the morning, so she was still a little tired. But her first sorta lesbian experience had gone pretty well. She went over to the sink and got a glass of water which she drained in a few seconds. She groggily made her way to her closet and opened it. “AH!!!” She was suddenly yanked inside.

 

“Hinata?!” Naruto sat up after hearing the scream and looked around. “Hinata?” He heard a muffled sound coming from the closet and inched his way over, prepared to strike. He opened the door and…

 

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In the closet.

 

Hinata was pulled into the closet by Tsunade who quickly closed the door. Hinata struggled and yelled but the older women had her mouth covered. Tsunade gently stroked her hair. Trying to calm the struggling girl. “Shh…hush…it's okay…” She whispered softly. Hinata whimpered and squirmed in the women's grasp. “Shh…I'm not gonna hurt you.” She heard Naruto step toward the door. She tore the door open and knocked him out. She pulled the unconscious teen inside and leaned him against the wall. All without letting go of Hinata, who was now struggling very violently. “Easy, easy, he'll be alright. I just needed a place to hide.” Hinata stopped and looked at the woman. “Shizune is looking for me. Please let me stay here.” He blonde pleaded.

 

“Hinata, Naruto?” There was a knock at the door as Shizune's voice rang out. “Can I come in? I'm looking for Lady Tsunade. Are you two home?” Shizune knocked again. Hinata heard the door open. “Guess no one's home.”

 

“Oink oink oink!” Hinata heard a familiar pig squeal.

 

“Did you find her? Lead me to her Tonton.” Shizune said excitedly.

 

“Oink!” Tonton could be heard sniffing the ground. “Oink oink!”

 

“You found her! Awe that's my Tonton! Who's a good piggy?! Who's a good piggy?! Who's a gooby pooggy?! Es is a piggy!” Shizune descended into baby talk for a full minute. Suddenly the closet door opened and Shizune grabbed Tsunade.

 

“No! You can't do this to me! I know my right's! You evil vindictive woman!” Tsunade whined as she was dragged off.

 

“Uh…Shizune, why was she hiding from you?” Hinata asked as she carried Naruto to the bed.

 

“Well, I've noticed that her paper work has been getting done a little too fast. Turns out she's been hiding it under our bed.” Shizune said as she pried Tsunade's fingers off Hinata's bedpost.

 

“You have to help me! I'll make it worth your while!” Tsunade pleaded as she was pulled outside. “I can't go back to doing paper work!”

 

“Well, I hope Naruto's okay.” Shizune smiled as she shut the door.

 

“Back to bed for me.” Hinata said snuggling up to her unconscious husband.

 

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Sakura shivered slightly and opened one eye. Sasuke had cocooned himself in the blanket. She groaned and tugged at the blanket but he just pulled back and rolled over. She “humphed” before seeing that he partially unwrapped himself. She grinned and tugged at the loose material. He rolled again and she had enough to cover…maybe a third of herself. She tugged harder this time and rolled Sasuke right off the bed.

 

“Uh! Son of a…!” Sasuke yelled as he sat up. “It's a king sized bed! Why'd you kick me off?!”

 

“I didn't you were hogging the blanket!” Sakura yelled back. “Blanket hog!”

 

“Bed…kicker outerer!” Sasuke roared.

 

“Brilliant use of words.” Sakura teased.

 

“Wait if I'm a blanket hog…how do you have the whole blanket to yourself?” Sasuke asked triumphantly.

 

“Just get in bed.” Sakura said pulling him in with her. “Here, you keep me warm and I won't let you fall off the bed.”

 

“I like that compromise.” He said snuggling up to his wife.

 

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“AH!!!” Naruto sat straight up in bed screaming.

 

Hinata shot up right next to him and looked around. “Naruto! Naruto. It's alright.” She soothed after quieting him.

 

“I just had this weird dream.” Naruto said lying back down.

 

“Really, what was it?” Hinata asked sounding concerned.

 

“Well I heard you scream, so I woke up and was freaking out. Then I started hearing something from the closet. Then when I went over and was about to open it, the door opened and grandma Tsunade punched me in the face.”

 

“Oh…really.” Hinata giggled and scooted up to him.

 

“My head hurts.” Naruto observed and ran his hand over his forehead, “Ow! I have a bump on my head.”

 

Hinata leaned forward and kissed it. “Oh, poor baby.” She smiled and stroked his cheek. “Wait just a minute. Sakura gave me something for head aches.” She hopped off the bed and meandered into the kitchen.

 

“What is it?” Naruto called after her.

 

“Some kind of grass.” Hinata busily ground the herb into a powder and added it to a glass off water. Sakura had given it to her a few weeks ago but she hadn't tried it yet. `Oh, well Naruto will be the guinea pig.'

 

She brought it in and offered it to Naruto. “Is it supposed to be green like that?”

 

“Uh-huh. She said, just mix it with some water and drink it. And in less than five minutes your pain will be gone. And it's all natural so nothing can possibly go wrong.”

 

“Well all right. If you're sure.” Naruto accepted the mixture and drank it. “Hmm…kinda tangy.”

 

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“Shizune…she's done it again.” Tsunade said looking up from her paperwork. Shizune had tied her to a chair and only left her right hand free.

 

“Huh?”

 

“Sakura's drugged someone again.” Tsunade said reaching up and tearing the ropes off like they were nothing.

 

“Not gonna fall for…” Tsunade was on top of Shizune (literally) in an instant. Shizune was suddenly struck by the though that maybe she wasn't being lied to.

 

“Just stay here while I sort this out.” Tsunade said sweetly as she hogtied her assistant.

 

“Lady Tsunade?!” Shizune whined as she inched wormed toward the older women.

 

“Shh, if you make noise I'm gong to be very mad.” Tsunade said sternly.

 

“Yes ma'am.” Shizune said in defeat.

 

“Okay then. Now if you promise to be a good girl I'll let you come with me.” She said sweetly.

 

“I promise.” Shizune said quickly and eagerly. If someone caught her in this predicament…people would talk.

 

“Good girl.” Tsunade smiled and released the short haired girl.

 

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Naruto looked up and started swatting at the air. “You see the owls? Get out of here, owls!”

 

Hinata stared open mouthed at Naruto. `Oh, no. He's gone crazy like Sasuke and Sakura.'

 

“Stop pecking at my face! I will not buy your encyclopedias! I can't read your language, only speak it! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!” Naruto ran, hooting, out of the house.

 

“I'm gonna kill you Sakura! You broke his brain with your damn herbs!” Hinata screamed before chasing after the blonde. “Naruto come back!”

 

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Sakura and Sasuke were still snuggling under the covers when… “What wonderful, magical place!” Naruto jumped into there bed.

 

“Naruto, what the hell are you…” Sasuke began.

 

“I have found you!” Naruto suddenly tackled Sasuke and knocked him to the ground. “Now then. Tell me where you have buried the sporks!”

 

“Wha?”

 

Naruto punched Sasuke in the face. “Don't play dumb with me you no good spork burrying…ah! Not the face! Shoo! Bad owls!” Naruto began writhing on the ground swinging at the air.

 

“Did you…” Sasuke began looking up at Sakura.

 

“No. I don't think so.” Sakura said defensively.

 

“Sakura!” Tsunade and Shizune ran in and saw Naruto on the ground. “How the hell did this happen?!”

 

“Your guess is as good as mine.” Sakura shrugged.

 

“You bitch!” Hinata jumped clean over Tsunade and punched Sakura. “You made my Naruto crazy. What do you have against him?!”

 

“Huh?” Sakura raised an eyebrow.

 

Hinata slapped her across the face. “Don't play stupid with me you know good make husband crazying…ah! Let me go!” Tsunade restrained the brunette.

 

“Easy, easy. Calm down.” Tsunade soothed.

 

“Calm down?! How the hell can I calm down!” Hinata screamed.

 

“He'll be just fine.” Tsunade soothed. “It'll wear off in a few hours.” She said stroking the girl's cheek.

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah, but where'd you get the drug?” Tsunade asked. “I thought that I'd confiscated it all?”

 

“S-sakura gave me some herbs. Since Naruto gets himself hurt a lot and…I didn't mean to give him anything bad.” She whimpered.

 

“Shh, don't worry. There's no side affects. He'll be just fine in a little while. It's not your fault.”

 

“Yeah it's Sakura's.” Hinata said with a glare at the other girl. Tsunade smiled and lead her out while Shizune carried Naruto away. He was still screaming about owls.

 

“It's probably gonna happen to Hinata, huh?” Sasuke asked with a small grin.

 

“After punching me. Oh, it is a strong possibility.”