Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Life is Lovelier the Second Time Around ❯ GO HASSELHOFF!!! ( Chapter 22 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto…but I AM BEOWULF!!!…okay not really…don't own beowulf. Or Spongbob…don't look at me in that tone of voice. Or Futurama or…I think it's tropic thunder… Or Pirates of the Caribean.

 

AN: Sorry the last one took so long. I'll make it up to you I swear. As far as Deidara and Sasori being gay, it was brought up in a review so I decided to bring it up in this chapter. Whether or not their gay comes down to what you think. Personally I don't think so but a LOT of people disagree with me so…whatever. Sasori is way OOC for awhile in this chapter…hope it doesn't bug anyone too much.

 

Animeprincessinulover: What? She looks like one. Can't wait till you next chapter. Update soon!

 

Vospader21: Well I have temporarily gotten rid of the catfights. And the Sasuke Sakura thing is in the works. I promise that there is something that will give you plenty of that pairing. But people might be mad for how it happens. Maybe you've guessed what I mean?

 

Daianta: I know poor Gaara. And don't worry about not being able to review. I'm not going to mind if you don't review right away. And thanks for giving me material to work with. And this chapter was longer so I hope you forgive me. Wait…why doesn't this look longer…oh crap…

 

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“Come and get him.” Deidara teasingly beckoned to Naruto. Only to see that Naruto was no longer there. “What the…AGH!” Deidara was thrown to the ground as a mysterious orange blurr threw him aside and grabbed Gaara's body. Naruto turned back and went to run out of the cave…

 

“Naruto! Don't!” Hinata screamed. “It's not Gaara!”

 

“Wha…” Naruto froze halfway across the cave. He looked down and saw the figure in his hand lose it's color.

 

“Too late.” Deidara smiled and made a handsign. “Katsu!” Naruto spun on his heel and threw the statue back at Deidara. “Oh shit!”

 

“You idiot!” Deidara was once again knocked to the ground as Sasori pulled him away from the blast. Sasori stood over Deidara till the danger had past before turning back to the leaf ninja. His cloak had been destroyed by the explosion, revealing a demonic face on his back with a metal tail protruding from the mouth.

 

“What…is he?” Sakura asked taking a step back.

 

“This isn't Sasori's real body.” Chiyo said examining it.

 

“Sasori? Then…this is…”

 

“A puppet.” Hinata finished Sakura's sentence as she looked over the puppet with her byakugan. “And the real one is inside…I think…something's…strange…”

 

“Inside?” Sakura asked. Kankuro was the only puppet master she'd seen fight, so the concept of being inside a puppet made her dizzy.

 

“Most of us aren't exactly taijutsu experts. Sasori made Hiruko there to counteract that. He can fight at point blank range and never get a scratch on him.” Chiyo said noting changes Sasori had made to his puppet over the years.

 

“But once we get rid of it we'll be able to take him out?” Naruto growled from his place by Kakashi.

 

“Not quite but we'd be one step closer to “taking him out”” Chiyo said grimly.

 

“Sounds like he'll be hard enough to deal with on his own. And he's only half the problem.” Kakashi shook his head. “Hey, Asuma how soon can you be here?”

 

“A little busy at the moment. They had some kind of trap ready for us.” Asuma grunted, it was clear he was busy. “My squad's got there hands full.”

 

“Damn we're gonna have to split up. Sakura, your with Chiyo. Naruto with me. Hinata and Sasuke?”

 

“With Sakura.” Both teens said at once. “What? But I…knock it off! Hey! Quit using your screwed up eyes to…my eyes aren't screwed up! Stop talking! Let me finish what I have to sa…grr!” They both glared at each other before opening their mouths to speak before snapping them shut again so the other wouldn't interrupt. “Why should you go with Sa…Marry had a little lamb, who's fleece was white as…PICKLED FISH PASTE!!! AND I ROAD THE HASSELHOFF!!! YOU TRULY ARE THE NASTIEST WIZZARD IN BIKINI BOTTOMSHIRE!!!” Hinata snapped and kicked Sasuke right in the forbidden zone.

 

“GAH!!!!!” Sasuke dropped to the ground but didn't say anything.

 

“I'll be able to see this guys traps before he ever launches them. I can watch every move he makes, and Sakura. You're good Sasuke but you can't protect Sakura and yourself. Sakura's my best friend. I won't let anything happen to her. And I'm not letting anything happen to you.” She crouched down and smiled at him. “I'll take care of her. Trust me. Without her who am I gonna make passes at when I'm drunk.”

 

“Every girl in the village.” Sasuke squeaked, but smile. “Alright I trust you. I'll keep Naruto in line. But you have to promise me something.”

 

“Yes?” She asked.

 

“No more catfights till all this is over.”

 

“Alright.” She giggled. “But when this is over I am completing my revenge. And if you ask me nice I'll video tape it.”

 

Sasuke opened his mouth but closed it when he felt Sakura glaring at him.

 

“I want a copy!” Naruto and Kakashi said at the same time. Everyone turned to Kakashi.

 

“…I…er…I want a…to copy…this guys techniques…” Kakashi said nervously, pointing at Deidara. “…that didn't work did it?”

 

“No.” Everyone, Asuma's squad and the Akatsuki included, said after they recovered.

 

“Look at me like that later! We have bigger problems to worry about!” Kakashi yelled

 

“Be careful Sakura.” Sasuke said smiling up at her. “And you too Hinata.”

 

“We will.” They said together giving their cutest smiles.

 

“Oh and Hinata?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“You didn't have to kick me.” He whined…Sasuke whining? IT'S THE APOCALYPSE!!! OFFICE PRODUCTS FALLING FROM THE SKY!!!!!

 

“Well now that that's settled we'll have to get out of this cave if we want to fight this guy. One wrong move and he could bring the cave down on us.” Kakashi said earning a smirk from Deidara.

 

“I'm not leaving without Gaara. Where is he?” Naruto said once again turning to Deidara.

 

“Naruto.” Hinata pointed upward. Naruto looked to see Gaara held in the jaws of an explosive statue of a bat.

 

“You bastards!” Naruto went to jump but Hinata grabbed him.

 

“Don't. The whole ceiling is covered in explosives. If you get near Gaara, he'll blow the pig up and the whole cave will come down.”

 

“Smart gir…pig?! THAT'S A BAT!!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!!” Deidara yelled as Hinata (possibly possessed by Gaara) insulted his work. “GRR!!! WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND I'M COMING BACK FOR YOU!!!” Deidara did a flip and landed on the bat's back…yep my brain stopped.

 

“I was about to say the same thing to you!” Hinata yelled indigently.

 

“Wha…?” Deidara froze with his bat somewhere between sleeping and flying poses. “Did she just…?”

 

“…I think she called us gay…” Sasori said, for the first time in many years, stunned.

 

“Are we gay?” Deiadara asked looking at his partner.

 

“What do you mean we, mammal?”

 

“What do you mean mammal, Puppet boy?”

 

“What do you mean, you people?”

 

“What do you mean, you people?”

 

“What arr you doing?!”

 

“What are you doing?!”

 

“No, what arr you doing?!”

 

“What are you doing?!”

 

“No, what arr you doing?!”

 

“What are you doing?! Captain gives orders on…what the hell are we talking about?!”

 

“No, what arr you doing?!” BOOM! Deidara threw an explosive bird at Sasori. Then gasped when he realized what he had done.

 

“That's it!” Sasori jumped at Deidara swinging his tail.

 

“YIPE!!! GO HASSELHOFF!!!!!” Deidara shot off on a bat made out of hel…clay.

 

“When you get back here you ass is mi…I'm going to tear you a…I'll just kill you.” Sasori said before he embarrassed himself further.

 

“Let's go!” Kakashi, Naruto and Sasuke shot out of the cave and were in hot pursuit of Deidara.

 

The kunoichi watched them leave and instantly fell into attack position. Sasori turned back to them when he had finished glaring at the sculptor ninja. “So granny, you and those girls want to be part of my…collection.”