Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Love, Sake, & A Conga Line ❯ All the baby llamas are doing it ... ( Chapter 7 )

Naruto is 19 years old. Now figure everyone else's age out.

 

`Thinking'

`Inner Whoever Thinking'

*Sound Effects*

**Flashback**

 

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, I just think he's a total beast!

I don't own Madonna & co. or Facebook

 

~#~#~

 

Chapter Seven

 

To celebrate Sakura and Sasuke's ability to touch one another without it being considered incest, the pair invited all their friends from near and far to his estate. Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro arrived a little after Neji and his wife who would shortly relocate to Konoha. Even though it was only two weeks since the wedding, she was already pregnant. (God bless consummating a marriage!) Temari and Shikamaru were already sharing a sloppy, drunken kiss while Ino could only stare and chug her newest plan to lose weight: Illegal weight loss pills (something-tri-pheta-something-ol) and llama milk smoothies.

 

`What? All the baby llamas are doing it!'

 

Naruto and Hinata were, once again, nowhere to be found but this time they weren't having hot, steamy monkey sex, they were dancing. Hidden in one of the many bedrooms, the couple was close enough to hear the music and they swayed to the beat.

 

“I have to admit, I thought you couldn't cook, but the ramen-free dinner you made was amazing.”

 

Naruto only laughed and twirled her into a low dip that made her smile.

 

“And where'd you learn to dance? You didn't step on my toes once at the wedding.”

 

He laughed again, although this time it was a bit more strained.

 

“And the way you-”

 

He stopped dancing and covered her mouth with a romantic kiss that left her wanting more but more importantly, silenced her. As she reached up to kiss him again, he said,

 

“There's a bed over there … we could-”

“HOLD UP! I would never do it in someone else's house! Defiling Sasuke's sheets with our sexual escapades is an underhanded and outlandish thing to do.”

“What do you mean `underhanded'? We did it two weeks ago!”

“I was DRUNK! That doesn't count!”

“HOW does that not count?”

“Because! I SAID SO!”

 

Her voice was now at a fierce whisper and his mouth dropped open but he quickly regained composure as an idea popped into his head.

 

“Hey let's go check out Sasuke's room!”

 

He grabbed her hand, dragged her out of the room and headed down the hall. Before long, she stopped resisting and they were laughing like maniacs, running around and opening every door they came across. They finally found what appeared to be his room and peeked inside. Ironically enough, it had one major similarity with Naruto's apartment. From a Naughty Nurses Candy-Striper uniform to edible thongs, Sakura's clothes were strewn across everything that would hold them. Naruto picked up a frilly, yellow stripped bra that he almost stepped on.

 

“Yours are definitely bigger! *man laugh* It's like she has none at all compared to you!”

“OMG! Put that down! We shouldn't even be in here!”

 

She smacked the undergarment out of his hand but the second she blinked, he was on the other side of the room, invading the dresser.

 

“I can't believe he actually has … that's just … nasty …”

 

He was holding a large bottle of Not-So-EZ Butt Pimple Remover.

 

“I'm sure he wouldn't mind if I … took some pictures … and put them on … FACEBOOK!”

 

Hinata was at a loss for words. She was torn between laughing herself to the grave, running away, and helping to search for more incriminating possessions.

 

`I think I'll just have a look around …'

 

She rotated on her heels and briefly ran her eyes over the contents of the room. She noticed a wide cardboard box under his bed that would have been well hidden if a light pink baby doll hadn't moved the bed skirt aside.

 

`Wait. What kind of guy, living on his own, has a bed skirt?'

`The kind that watches kitty porn …'

 

Hinata couldn't resist and dragged the box out of its hiding place.

 

“OMG! KITTY PORN!”

“KIDDY PORN?”

“No. KITTY porn.”

“Oh … EWWW!”

 

~#~#~

“But you made me feel, yeah, you made me feel shiny and new. Like a virgin. Touched for the very first time. Like a vir-ir-ir-ir-gin.”

Sake and lighters were raised high above their heads, arms were around shoulders, and there was a semi-rhythmic swaying among the entire crowd. Sasuke was about to turn to Sakura so he could “accidentally” fall into her chest when a ball of paper flew straight into his mouth.

 

~#~#~

 

Kankuro was surrounded by an adoring group of gorgeous, model-esque women, ranging from blue-eyed bombshells to glamazon goddesses. Sadly for him, they were all golddigging bitches that were using him to get to Gaara. But regardless of their aim, they listened intently as he told a story.

 

“So Temari had this STUPID pet mouse and she insisted that I come outside with her. So I'm all out there and she pulls out her mouse and she's all *lame girly voice* Isn't Shika Jr. so cute! * end lame girly voice* and I'm just rolling my eyes at her and then all of a sudden BAM! She turns her head for one second and this big ass hawk shows up out of NOWHERE and SNATCHES it RIGHT out of her hand! And then she's like *angry lame girly voice* We're in the fucking desert! Where the fuck did that hawk come from?! Don't they live in fucking trees?! There are NO FUCKING trees in the FUCKING desert! What the-”

“Oh brother dear. I'll show you `lame girly voice.'”

*Temari's knuckles crack*

 

~#~#~

 

That little bit at the end was just something I had to put in! The dirty happenings of our lovely couple start back up in chapter ten, so if you're pissed off at the lack thereof, you can wait until then!

PLEASE REVIEW!!