Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Love, Sake, & A Conga Line ❯ Gerroff me ... ( Chapter 9 )

Naruto is 19 years old. Now figure everyone else's age out.

 

`Thinking'

`Inner Whoever Thinking'

*Sound Effects*

**Flashback**

 

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but I am running out of witty things to say after the disclaimer!

I don't own Myspace & co. but Tom does! Lucky bastard!

I don't own that song that's coming up, I just changed a word …

And I don't own the other song that's coming up after that …

And that's it

 

~#~#~

 

Chapter Nine

 

**“Maybe you shouldn't open that particularly large bin over there.”

“Too late.”

“Are those?”

“Yes, they're …”**

 

“Yes, they're butt plugs.”

 

(That's right! I said it!) Butt plugs in every shape and size that the twisted mind of some random, lonely sexual deviant could think of nearly spilled over the top of the container. Most of them were in such a revolting condition that I won't describe the horrors within for fear of losing my fantastic readers. (YOU'RE AWESOME! WOO!) They immediately put the lid back on and turned around to shield themselves from the odors wafting up their noses.

 

“Hello Clarice.”

“AHHHHH!”

 

Naruto and Hinata clutched one another in fear at the horrifying face before them.

 

~#~#~

 

“Joy to the world, Orochimaru is dead! We BAR-BE-QUED his HEAD! We flushed it down the TOILET! So that we wouldn't SPOIL IT! And round and round it goes! And round and round it goes! And ROOOOUND and ROOOOUND and round it goes!”

 

The crowd was still singing and swaying and drinking but Sasuke had left this scene long ago and hadn't been back since. Slightly worried, Sakura had gone after him. But that was ten minutes ago and since then she had gotten lost in the crazy maze of hallways.

 

`Maybe I should check out the room with the light on and the door open and the voices coming out …'

`*rolls eyes* … dumbass …'

“SAAAASUKE!!! OH SAAAASKOHMYGAWD!!”

 

She fell straight through the rusty hole, falling directly on top of the very man she was looking for.

 

“Heeeeeeeey BAAABY! If you wanted me on top all you had to do was ask! Did you know that I took horseback riding lessons when I was but a wee little girl? Oh yeah! I was the best! I could- *looks up* What are you doing here? Can't you see that we are trying to have a private moment?”

 

Incredulity spread across Naruto's face as he said,

 

“We were here first, you horseback booty butt!”

“SHUT! UP!”

 

She sent two super punches his way but over the years he'd grown too fast for her and had enough time to move Hinata and the butt plug bin out of harms way before dodging her punches himself.

 

“Don't make me violate your rectum with my foot you manwhore!”

“That's a nice way to put it …”

“GERROFF ME!”

“Woopsie! Forgot about you down there!”

“You can be really ditzy when you drink.”

“Who are YOU calling DITZY cause I KNOW you're not talking to me!”

“*sigh* Who else would I be talking to, dear?”

 

She turned away from him, folding her arms across her chest in anger.

 

“Sasuke, WHY do I put up with you?”

“Because you love me, duh.”

 

She smiled and turned around, jumping into his outstretched arms.

 

Sk: “You are SO right! I love you my little foo-foo-muffin!”

N: “BWAHAHA! Foo-foo-muffin! Oh that's gold! This is going in a Myspace bulletin!”

Ss: “NAAARUTOOOO! I'll kick your ass right here, right now!”

N: “Where are we anyway?”

Ss: “How should I know?”

N: “It's beneath your room stupid!”

Ss: “That's Itachi's room dumbass!”

N: “So all those clothes aren't …”

Ss: “No … I was finally going to burn all of his crap, once and for all, but when I started to clean out the place, I discovered this endless pit of women's clothing. (semi-flashback) ** I thought I had emptied the closet but then I found out that there was another closet hidden behind it. And when I thought I had emptied that one, there was ANOTHER behind it! AND ANOTHER AND ANOTHER!** I don't even want to talk about the dresser *sniffle*”

 

You could see the little tears forming in Sasuke's eyes from the mention of his frustrations. Stroking ever so gently, Sakura rubbed his back to comfort him.

 

Sk: “There, there, snuggle-poo.”

N: “Right … you guys keep doing … that … and we're going … give you some alone time …”

 

They walked around from shelf to shelf, examining everything they came across. By now, they knew better than to look in the containers but the hundreds of unlabeled videos were intriguing.

 

H: “Hey, come look! Isn't it SO convenient that there's a TV with a VCR down here?”

 

Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke each grabbed a video and followed the sound of Hinata's voice. She already had one of her own in and was trying to make it work while the others grabbed one of the comfy chairs strategically situated for their viewing pleasure.

 

H: “Eureka!”

 

Hinata grabbed the remote, took a seat and pressed play.

 

“OH yes! That's right! FUCK ME! Fuck my TIGHT, JUICY-”

*stop*

N: “I don't know how to respond to that.”

Sk: “Maybe they're not all like that…”

 

She got up and put her video in.

 

*play*

“*slurp* It's so yummy! I just wanna-”

*stop*

N: “Sasuke, put yours in.”

*play*

“YES! YES! FUCK MY ASS! FUCK IT! FUCK ME WITH YOUR BIG, FAT-”

*stop*

H: “Naruto …”

*play*

“AHHHHHHHHH! IT FEELS SO GOOD! YES! THAT'S THE SPOT! YES! YES! YES! NO! NO! YES! NO! YES! AHHHHHH!”

H: “So …”

N: “If we assume that each tape is a different woman …”

Ss: “Then my brother …”

Sk: “ … did all of that before he was HOW old?”

 

They were speechless.

 

~#~#~

 

“Raindrops keep falling on my HEAD! But that doesn't something something … something!”

 

The group of four returned to the party, making the decision to pretend that all that stuff didn't exist. The party was a success although the host and three other guests missed part of it. By daybreak, everyone who could “walk,” stumbled home while the unconscious were dragged home by their kind neighbors.

 

~#~#~

 

Yeah … I know … butt plugs! But it was the first thing that popped into my head!!

Chapter 10 would have been up in a few days but I got this AWESOME IDEA and now I have to rewrite the whole chapter! But if I pull it off, I'll definitely have to enter the drama category. Oh and a preview of Let's Get It On is coming soon!

PLEASE REVIEW!!