Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Naruto & the Idiot Brigade ❯ It's Santa! ( Chapter 8 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

I don't own Naruto, so quit bothering me! Here is my eighth chapter! KATANNA! Don't you know how hard it really is for people to write fanfics this long? This story is based on my life! I write whatever's funny in my journal! so it takes me about five to eight days! Are they really that funny? Well, that was too much inside info... Anyways, read and please review!

"Merry Christmas!" Naruto jumped in the air.

"Naruto, you idiot!" Midori slapped him. "Christmas isn't until next next week!"

"Well i'm sorry for trying to spread the christmas cheer!" Naruto huffed.

"It's NOT christmas yet!" Everyone shouted.

"ohmigosh!" Haku shrieked.

"What? What?" Roxn asked.

"I lost part of my finger!" Haku gasped.

"Which part?" everyone gathered around Haku.

"My fingernail!" Haku gasped.

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"Go home Shino!" Everyone threw pillows at the expressionless guy with the shades.

"Awww..." Shino muttered and went home.

"Naruto?" Midori sighed. "What are you doing?"

"I'm wanna be a Harry Potter, without the glasses but!" Naruto grinned. "Can you draw Harry Potter's scar thingy for me?" Naruto handed a pen to Midori.

"no." Midori groaned.

"Fine, then I'll do it!" Naruto huffed and drew a scar on his forehead.

"How does it look like?" Naruto pushed his hair back.

"Naruto..." Midori sweatdropped. "That's not Harry Potter's scar... that's a circle..."

"..." Naruto slapped on a smug look.

"Aren't we supposed to study for that 'BIG' test tomorrow?" Tenten spoke up.

"That's what we're trying to do except Naruto keeps talking!" Sasuke eyed the blonde retard.

"Okay NARUTO!" Roxn glared at him. "If Alana's walking rate is one meter per second, then how far will Alana go in three seconds?"

"um..." Naruto rubbed his chin. "six?"

"THREE!" Everyone rolled their eyes.

"Well I'm sorry!" Naruto huffed. "I'm not smart like you guys!"

"the answer was in the question!" Roxn smacked Naruto.

"Leave him alone!" Neji groaned. "It's no use trying to teach him! the only thing that Naruto will gain is a headache!"

"You're right..." Everyone opened their textbooks and began to read.

"Hi everybody!" Dolly came in through the door carrying a bag of God knows what. "I brought everyone candy canes-"

"It's Santa!" Naruto looked up. "Oh never mind, it's just Dolly..." Naruto's eyes dulled.

"She's got candy canes!" Tenten pointed at the bag. "Gimme some!"

"Geez, calm down!" Dolly passed out candy to everyone.

"Dolly, you're supposed to be studying!" Haku rolled his eyes.

"I took that stupid test in my old school already!" Dolly sat in front of the TV and turned it on.

"Try close the lights!" Dolly said as she snatched the remote off the couch.

"First of all, you can't close the light, you turn them off!" Roxn huffed. "And secondly, we need the light to study!"

"SO wait!" Dolly hesitated. "Are you like, calling me stupid!"

"I didn't say that!" Roxn arched a brow.

"Better be!" Dolly turned to the TV.

"Can we like shut up, and study!" Haku huffed. "It has got to take a genius to add all these numbers up!"

"lets see..." Midori peeked into Haku's journal. "It equals five..."

"..." Haku's face was flushed with embarrasment.

"Dude!" Naruto took out a calculator. "You can have my calculator!"

"Hey!!!" Haku said as he saw that Naruto's calculator looked exactly like his own calculator. "oh wait, nevermind! my calculator is at home!"

"You guys!!!" Dolly bounced on the Uchiha's living room floor. "Rock Lee's famous!"

"WHERE?" Everyone huddled to the TV.

"Do YOU wanna know how youthful you are?" Rock Lee asked (from the TV). "If so, then post your picture up at www.VERYYOUTHFUL.com/YOUTH, You will get results every week and you can win a FREE jumpsuit if you apply!"

"People under the ages of thirteen may not apply." Gai said in the backround. "Post your picture up today!"

"TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!" Naruto shook violently.

"Can you stop shaking Naruto?" Itachi said as he walked in with Nami.

"How'd you know that I was shaking?" Naruto asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" Itachi smirked. "I recognized your vibration!"

"oh!" Naruto laughed. "EWWWWWW!!!" Naruto shuddered. "I've just been scarred with nasty pictures in my head!"

"Last night I like had a sex dream about Sasuke and Naruto!" Sakura exclaimed.

"What was it about?" Naruto hopped to Sakura.

"Why should I tell you?" Sakura eyed Naruto.

"Yeah, Why would she tell YOU" Sasuke snorted. "When obviously she would want to tell me!" Sasuke pointed out.

"Nope!" Sakura shook her head.

"oh come on!" Naruto pleaded.

"Fine..." Sakura sighed.

"So, who'd you do 'it' with first?" Naruto asked "Was it Sasuke and you first? or was it me and you first?"

"I'll have you know!" Sakura started as Sasuke and Naruto leaned in on her. "Sometimes, there wasn't even me!"

"hahahaha!" Sasuke and Naruto laughed and turned to eachother. "EWWWW!" they moved away from eachother.

"You guys are pervs!" Nami stated. "If I had a choice between saving you guys and a peice of belly button lint, I'd save the belly button lint!"

"Why thank you!" Naruto and Sasuke laughed.

"Oh my god!" Roxn gasped."I can't find it!" Roxn said as she searched through her bag.

"What are you looking for?" Tenten asked. "Maybe I can help you find it!"

"..." Roxn thought hard for a moment. "Maybe that explains why I can't find it..."

"You don't know what you're looking for?" Tenten arched a brow.

"I guess I forgot!" Roxn stuck out her tongue.

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"SHINO, GO HOME!" Everyone threw bigger pillows at him.

"aww..." Shino walked home again.

"stupid Shino!" Sasuke muttered.

"wow!" Dolly whispered while staring at Neji eye. "Your eyelashes are pretty!"

"What?" Neji noticed Dolly was staring at him

"I like your eyelashes!" Dolly sighed. "They're so beautiful! My kind eyelashes are clumpy and bushy, yours are like 'victoria's secret' eyelashes!"

"Huh?" Neji cocked a brow, there was a tint of laughter in his voice.

"Maybe it's Maybelin!" Dolly sang. (A/N: I'm not sure if that's how you spell Maybelin, but for those of you who don't know what it is, it's an eye make-up product worn by women, and possibly guys, who are gay.)

"Don't push it!" Neji growled.

"sorry!" Dolly rolled her eyes. "It was meant to be a COMPLIMENT!"

"Ehem!" Naruto interrupted. "I have an important announcement!"

"And what IS your announcement?" Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"This announcement is for Sakura!" Naruto knelt down to Sakura. "Sakura..." Naruto said in a serious tone. "Sakura, I'm serious this time!"

"Serious about what?" Sakura arched a brow.

"I want you to go out with me!" Naruto said firmly. "You turn me on!"

"No!" Sakura fumed.

"You can't deny me just like Tenten!" Naruto smirked. "I'm too sexy that's why!"

"I hate you Naruto!" Tenten shrieked.

"Go ask Sasuke out on a date, for all I care!" Sakura huffed.

"Allright!" Naruto walked to Sasuke who was sitting on a chair. "Hey Sasuke..." Naruto put his arm over Sasuke's shoulder. "Let me see those sexy eyes!"

"Get away from me loser!" Sasuke pulled away from Naruto.

"Don't be like that!" Naruto walked to Sasuke with his arms wide open. "Show me those pretty eyes of yours!"

"NO!" Sasuke covered his eyes.

"Don't cover those beautiful eyes!" Naruto moaned.

"get away!" Sasuke ran behind Haku.

"Give me a kiss!" Naruto laughed and fell on the floor.

"What the hell?" Sasuke looked up.

"You should've seen your face!" Naruto laughed.

"Great plan, Haku!" Naruto gave him a thumbs up.

"I told you it would work!" Haku snorted.

"I'll kill you both!" Sasuke cracked his knuckles.

"Milk me, Sasuke!" Naruto laughed.

"I'll milk you allright!" Sasuke grinded his teeth.

---five minutes later---

"AHHHHH!!!" Naruto ran around crying. "MY NIPPLES!!!"

"Put some ice on it!" Jordan rlled his eyes. "That's what I do when my boyfriend twists my nipples when he gets horny-"

"Say what?" Naruto stopped.

"I mean..." a bead of sweat formed on his head. "Think Jordan!" Jordan whispered to himself.

"Suddenly, my nipplier area dosen't hurt anymore..." Naruto stated.

---meanwhile---

"Kakashi?" Kurenai asked. "Can you get the siccors?"

"Okay!" Kakashi called out. "Sai! get the siccors!"

"Kakashi!" Kurenai glared at him. "He's just a baby!"

"It's never too soon to teach a baby how to walk!"

"he was born yesterday!" Kurenai's voice was dull.

"So?" Kakashi shrugged.

"KAKASHI!" Kurenai gave him a death glare.

"fine fine!" Kakashi huffed. "I always gotta do the work!"

---back to Idiot Brigade---

"I'm scared!" Naruto squeaked.

"Why?" Roxn arched a brow.

"Because i'm shivering!" Naruto shivered.

"When people shiver it dosen't mean they're scared, you know!" Roxn rolled her eyes.

"Then what else could cause my shivering?" Naruto cocked his head to one side.

"You're by the air conditioner, stupid!" Neji rolled his eyes.

"oh." Naruto turned around and saw that he was by the air conditioner and moved away. "There... I don't feel cold anymore..."

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"Shino!" Sasuke called out. "This is your last warning!"

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"Security!" Sasuke called for the security.

"aww..." Shino muttered and walked home for real this time.

"And I better not see bugs in the front yard!" Sasuke warned Shino.

"I'm tired, of studying!" Naruto whined.

"You haven't even read your notes yet!" Midori rolled her eyes.

"But it's soooo late!" Naruto groaned.

"It's five o clock on a Sunday!" Sakura muttered.

"Time for a snack!" Mikoto called out.

"It's Santa!" Naruto jumped.

"Knock it off, Naruto!" Everyone threw pillows at the blonde idiot.

---Monday at school---

"I'm tired!" Naruto yawned.

"That's because you were up all night waiting for Santa!" Midori groaned. "And it wasn't even christmas eve yet!"
"Yeah, you kept us all night with your voice!" Sasuke grumbled.

"how?!" Naruto huffed.

"You kept screaming 'It's Santa!' when you heard footsteps." Sasuke muttered.

"If those footsteps weren't Santa... then... who w-was it?" Naruto shivered.

"It was Neji..." Everyone replied. "He goes to the bathroom every two hours cause he has a bladder problem!"

"I inherited that, from my mother's side of the family..." Neji muttered.

"..." Everyone sweatdropped.

Just then Kurenai and Deidara walk in. "Between Sasuke, Neji, Gaara, Roxn, Haku, Tenten, Sakura, Midori, Naruto and Dolly If you had to, IF you just had to, who would you punch?" Deidara asked

"They're all such good students, I wouldn't want to punch any of them!" Kurenai replied.

"Sasuke, right?" Deidara smirked.

"Yeah, but I don't know why!" Kurenai shook her head.

"Kurenai!" Sakura bounced. "Where's the baby?"

"With Kakashi..." Kurenai smirked. "I'm glad I married an idiot."

"huh?" Sakura arched a brow.

"nevermind, I said nothing..."Kurenai said quickly.

"Get to work, Deidara." a voice from behind said.

"Is that who I think it is?" Deidara turned around looking for his beloved. "Oh my GOD!" Deidara shrieked. "SASORI!"

"Get to work." Sasori said expressionless.

"anything for you!" Deidara bowed.

"Okay, everyone!" Deidara grinned. "As you all can see, Sasori is back, yeah?"

"woo hoo!" Everyone cheered. "Sasori is the only one who can make Deidara shut up!"

"Yeah, I know!" Deidara nodded. "Hey!" Deidara looked offended.

"Shut up and teach." Saosori muttered

"Kay!" Deidara grinned.

"Okay everyone! turn in your work from thursday, yeah?" Deidara sat on his chair in the front.

"yeah, yeah..." Everyone muttered and passed their work to Deidara.

"hmmm..." Deidara mumbled as he checked the work.

"Good, good, good..." Deidara nodded checking the papers.

"Here's my paper!" Naruto grinned and gave his work to Deidara.

"Naruto, you so stupid!" Deidara snapped. "You turn in work, that you never even do, with no name on it, and you put period five!"

"What's wrong about the period five stuff?" Naruto arched a brow.

"it's period one, Naruko!" Deidara rolled his eyes.

"It's Naruto!" Naruto huffed.

"Like it matters!" Deidara snapped. "You get an incomplete for this assignment!"

"I get an I!?" Naruto gasped."That's like, lower than an F!"

"I'm done grading your homework!" Deidara sighed.

"Here Haku..." Deidara passed Haku's homework to him.

"I got an A!" Haku squeaked. "From this moment, life has begun!" Haku sang. (A/N: For those of you who are slow, this song is by Celine Deion)

"I got an A+!" Sakura laughed.

"dangit!" Haku snapped his fingers.

"I got a freakin' B+!" Roxn huffed.

"HA!" Sasuke laughed.

"Here's your paper, Sasuke!" Deidara gave the paper to Sasuke. "Do better next time, Yeah?"

"What?" Sasuke gasped. "I got a C-!"

"HA!" Roxn laughed.

"I have a question!" Naruto raised his hand.

"yes?" Deidara sighed.

"What's that little voice in your head called?" Naruto cocked his head to one side.

"You mean a conscience?" Deidara replied.

"Ew!" Naruto frowned. "Then my conscience is sick-minded!"

"What?!" The class turned to Naruto.

"I said nothing!" Naruto squeaked.

---RIIING---

"Second period, class!" Deidara called out.

"Kay!" Everyone muttered as they packed up.

---next class---

"Okay, everyone!" Kurenai called out. "I have an important announcement-"

"It's Santa!" Naruto shrieked and sat on Kurenai's lap.

"Get off!" Kurenai shouted angrily. "What do I look like to you?Santa? " Kurenai grinded her teeth.

Naruto huffed "It isn't my fault you never got your figure back, and that you happen to be wearing red today-"

"You wanna piss me off?!" Kurenai punched her desk.

"no..." Naruto huddled in the farthest corner of the room.

"Anyways!" Kurenai huffed trying to get back to the subject. "I have your scores and I'm going to read your AR points aloud."

"Akimichi Chouji!" Kurenai called out his name. "Last month, you had five point three points, and this month you still have five point three points!"

"Allright!" Chouji punched the air. "This causes for a celebration!" Chouji brought out big bag of chips.

"How is this good news?" Haku cocked a brow.

"I honestly don't know, But I know for sure that I'm hungry!" Chouji said while munching on some chips.

"But your ALWAYS hungry!" Haku groaned.

"Does that concern you?" Neji snapped.

"no..." Haku shook his head.

"Just leave the fat man to be!" Neji rolled his eyes.

"Dudes!" Midori spoke up. "I like made like this cool new song!"

"I'll regret this, but let's hear it." Sasuke groaned.

"If we were a movie! YOU Chouji would be the fat guy!" Midori pointed at Chouji and sang. "No one would be your best friend, no one would love you in the end, we'd be laughing at your ugly face cause you're fat, and your ugly, please just lose some weeeeiiiiiiight!"

"Hey!" Chouji huffed. "I don't need to lose weight to be bea-u-ti-ful!"

"Fine!" Midori huffed. "Fat people are beautiful also!"

"Good..." Chouji smirked with pleasure and continued munching on his chips.

"Shut up!" Kurenai grumbled.

"Shino Aburame..." Kurenai continued. "Last month you had seventy three points and now you have eight five points..."

"Woah!" Haku gasped. "He earned about twenty five points!"

"You can't add!" Kurenai rolled her eyes. " He earned twelve points!"

Crickets

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"SHINO!" Kurenai shouted. "I told you, NO BUGS IN CLASS!"

"sorry..." Shino put his crickets away.

"Hey everyone!" Deidara walked in.

"I have a proposition for you, Naruto!" Deidara walked closer to him, causing Naruto to lean on the wall.

"I have a proposition, for you..." Deidara smirked.

"AGHHHHHH!" Naruto turned away.

"a buisness proposition!" Deidara rolled his eyes.

"Phew!" Naruto wiped the sweat of his forehead. "I thought you wanted to have sex with me or something!"

"I would..." Deidara replied.

o_O (Naruto's face) "What?!" Naruto backed away.

"I would..." Deidara ccontinued. "If you were sexy..."

"I'm full blooded sexy!" Naruto clenched his fists.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah!" Deidara gave him a package. "Give this to Gai..."

"Why can't you?" Naruto sighed. "You're right next door to him!"

"I'm not taking my chances!" Deidara crossed his arms. "I might die just by looking at him!"

"What about me?" Naruto pleaded. "What if I die?"

"I know you can with stand his uglyness because I know that you look in the mirror a lot." Deidara shrugged.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Naruto looked offended.

"Just deliver the damn pakage!" Deidara shoved naruto out of the room.

---Gai's classroom---

"So that is the history of the most youthful man in the world!" Gai laughed.

Knock

Knock

Knock

"Who ever it is kncking on my door, I'll definatly NOT keep you waiting!" Gai called out.

"I'm just gonna leave it here!" Naruto tried to put the package down.

"Hello, YOUTH!" Gai grabbed Naruto and swung him around and around in the air.

"UGLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Naruto had a look of horror on his face as he was being swung around by Gai.

"That's enough youth for me..." Gai sighed happily and put Naruto down.

"AHHHHHHHH!" Naruto screamed at Gai.

"Hello Naruto-"

"AHHHHH!" Naruto cut Gai off and ran away screaming.

"Looks like he's excited about Christmas!" Gai laughed.

---after school---

"AHHHHHHHH!" Naruto continued screaming.

"Naruto!" Midori groaned.

"Yes?" Naruto turned to Midori.

"Nothing, Nevermind..." Midori rolled her eyes.

"Oh allright..." Naruto took a deep breath. "AHHHHHH!"

"Shut up!" Gaara sneered.

"You can't make me!" Naruto huffed.

"Shut... UP!!!" Gaara strangled Naruto.

"You can't be Gaara at anything, Naruto!" Roxn laughed.

"Yes!" Naruto was in denial. "I beat him in rock, paper, siccors!"

"That's cause he didn't know how to play at the time!" Sakura protested.

"Pft!" Naruto snorted. "EVERYONE knows how to play rock paper siccors! He just pretended to not know how to play so he wouldn't be embarrassed when he lost!"

"Hey Sasuke!" Chouji walked in Sasuke's house.

"It's Santa!" Naruto squealed. "I've been a good boy this year, Santa-"

"Go home Chouji!" Sasuke sneered.

"..." Chouji paused. "aww..." Chouji walked home sadly.

"Here's Santa!" Gai walked in. "HOHOHOHO!"

"It's Santa!" Naruto jumped around.

"Shut up Naruto!" Dolly smacked him. "Go home Gai!"

"I'm not Gai!" Gai laughed. "I am SANTA!"

"Santa maybe old, but he's not that ugly!" Dolly protested.

"She's right..." Everyone nodded.

"Go home!" Sasuke pointed at the door.

"aw..." Gai walked away slowly.

"Merry Christmas!" Deidara walked in. "Do you all like my red christmas outfit?"

"Sorry Deidara, but you're way too young and sext to be Santa!" Roxn shook her head.

"But Sasori said I could pull it off!" Deidara huffed and stomped away.
"I hope we don't get these disruptions over the break!" Roxn groaned.

---christmas eve---

"It's Santa!" Naruto jumped around.

"Naruto!" Nami stood up from her chair. "Will you shut up!"

"sorry..." Naruto huddled in the corner.

"Nami..." Itachi came to her. "The others back in the acadamy invited us over for a christmas party..."

"then let's go!" Nami grabbed Itachi's hand and started for the door.

"WAIT!" Dolly stopped them.

"hm?" Nami turned around.

"You forgot your presents!" Dolly handed a small packet to Nami and Itachi.

"Tahnk you!" Nami hugged the Idiot Brigade.

"Watch the hair!" Haku huffed.

"If I wasn't so happy I would shave your head!" Nami said happily while saying goodbye to everyone.

"What?" Haku frowned.

"Nothing!" Nami laughed nervously.

"Bye everyone!" Nami waved a good bye and went into Itachi's car.

"I hope they like that Condom!" Naruto whispered to Dolly.

"It's getting kinda late!" Tenten looked at the clock.

"I'll have the guestrooms prepared so you guys can stay over..." Sasuke looked up from the book he was reading.

"oh, okay..." Tenten grabbed the presents she was going to give to the Idiot Brigade under the christmas tree.

---three hours later---

"It's eleven..." Midori yawned.

"Then let's go to sleep!" Sakura suggested.

"HOHOHO!" A fat man walked in.

"It's Santa!" Naruto squealed.

"We're not falling for it this time, Chouji!" Haku groaned.

"HOHO?" The man cocked his head to one side.

"Chouji!" Neji sneered. "It's eleven in the night! Go home!"

"HOHOHOHOHO!" The man laughed.

"Let's just go to sleep!" Dolly yawned and went to her guest room.

"okay..." Everyone followed.

"HOHOHO?" The fat man called out.

---Christmas day---

"Merry Christmas!" Mikoto smiled as Sasuke walke downstairs into the living room.

"Why the hell are YOU guys up so early?!" Sasuke's eyes widened.

"We were so excited about the presents!" Haku bounced.

"Even Gaara?" Sauke turned to Gaara.

"I never got a gift before..." Gaara shrugged.

"You all have issues!" Sasuke rolled his eyes and sat on the couch and yawned.

"Let's open our gifts after we eat breakfast!" Sauke groaned.

---one second later---

"Open that one!" Dolly pushed past Haku and Neji.

"Move!" Sasuke pushed Naruto away and reached for his gift.

"There are presents way over here!" Midori said noticing the presents that were hiding.

"There's one for everyone!" Midori passed their presents to everyone.

It's says it's from..." Sasuke paused. "It's from Santa..."

"What?" Everyone check Sasuke's tag and checked their own.

"I bet Chouji, did this!" Roxn clenched her fists. "Where's Jordan by the way?"

"He went back to America this morning..." Mikoto called out from the kitchen.

"I'll call Chouji!" Sasuke dialed a number on the phone.

"Hello?" Sasuke spoke. "Chouji, We know what you did last night... What do you mean? I was going to say that you came into my house dressed as Santa and then gave us gifts labeled: from Santa! You fingered yourself?! So wait, if that wasn't you then..." Sasuke hanged up the phone and turned around with a shocked expression on his face.

"Then who was it..." Everyone whispered.

"HOHOHOHO!" They all heared a faint voice.

It's Santa!" Everyone shouted.

A/N: That was my eight chapter! Sorry Katanna! I need space for Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Orochimaru, so I took you Itachi and Jordan out! ): I feel sad now... Well, I made a little twist in the ending! Roxn and I made it up, because I kept saying "It's Santa!" We also made this story about news reports on Kakashi, Kurenai, and Asuma! I hoped you enjoyed this chapter and It will take some time for me to update.