Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Naruto & the Idiot Brigade ❯ To Akatsuki Acadamy! Deidara and Sasori return! ( Chapter 10 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

I don't own Naruto... we all have dreams...we all have dreams... This is my tenth chapter! HOORAY! I'm sorry it took me a lot longer but, I was so busy trying to catch up with school work cause I'm like failing Science and English! T____T Why does life have to be this way! Anyways, Read and Review! (or I will stop writing, I need inspiration people!
A tiny yawn esaped from Deidara's mouth. it was six in the morning and he and Sasori decided to take the day off to visit their old friends from Akatsuki Acadamy.

"This stupid train is taking so damn long!" Deidara whined. "At this rate we'll never be able to get there in time!"

"That's becuase you went to return your donut!" Sasori sneered. "I don't understand why you returned it! It was perfect!"

"I returned it because there was a hole in my donut!" Deidara rolled his eyes and leaned on Sasori's shoulder.

"That's how donuts are, Idiot!" Sasori huffed.

"If they called it donut, it's supposed to be shaped as a nut!" Deidara rolled his eyes. "I wouldn't have returned it if they called it doring!"

"I'm dating a fag!" Sasori groaned.

"hm?" Deidara looked up and squeezed Sasori's right arm. "Did you say something, Yeah?"

"Don't worry about it..." Sasori stroked Deidara's 'beautiful' hair.

"mmm..." Deidara cuddled against Sasori's chest.

"Sing to me, Sasori..." Deidara whispered.

"Why do birds suddenly appear, everytime you are near-"

"Sasori?" Deidara frowned.

"Fine!" Sasori groaned knowing all to well what Deidara was going to say. "Don't worry, I'll shut up..."

"Good, cause your a really bad singer..." Deidara laughed.

"third stop, third stop." The intercom spoke. "Third stop, Akatsuki Acadamy-"

"That's our stop!" Deidara bounced off the train and tugged Sasori's sleeve.

"Allright, Allright!" Sasori dusted off his sleeve and followed Deidara into the school.

"Hi Sherryle!" Deidara waved a 'hello' to the office lady.

"Hi Deidara!" Sherryle grinned. "What have you two been up to?"

"We're teachers!" Deidara spoke with much pride. "We've saved up to a gazillion wumbillion dollars!" Deidara spread his arms apart and put his hands high in the air.

"First of all Deidara." Sasori stated with much knowledge. "We haven't even gotten our pay checks yet, and secondly, 'gazillion wumbillion' isn't even a word.. or a number..." Sasori added.

"Yes huh it is!" Deidara protested.

"No it isn't, Deidara." Sasori shook his head.

"Yes it is!" Deidara frowned

"NO IT ISN'T!" Sasori was beginning to lose his patience.

"Campus passes for two please!" Deidara turned to Sherryle.

"Who are you visiting?" Sherryle asked while writing something down on a peice of paper.

"Itachi, Sasuke's older brother, The guy who killed the whole uchiha clan except for the sexy brat who is the younger brother of Ita-"

"Aren't they the same person?" a voice from behind asked.

"Itachi?!?!" Deidara turned around.

"Itachi?" Sasori mumbled and turned around too.

"It's only Kisame..." Deidara's voice was dull and dry.

"Did you see Zetsu's hella tight crib yet?" Kisame asked excitedly.

"He let an ugly man like YOU inside his house?!?!" Deidara pointed at Kisame in shock.

"I threatened him with my ass!" Kisame smirked.

"What's an old man like you, still here in a school like this?" Sasori asked.

"Just because i'm twenty nine it dosen't mean that I don't need to stop going to school!" Kisame snorted.

"He's right, Kisame." Itachi popped out of nowhere. "You're a grown man, GET A LIFE!"

"I'll get a freakin life the hell I want to!" Kisame threw his arms in the air.

"We're like WAAAAAY younger than you and we already have jobs!" Deidara stated with much knowledge. "I can prove it to you!" Deidara took something out of his 'Gucci' bag. "See!" He took a school I.D. and shoved it in Itachi and Kisame's face.

"Woah!" Kisame backed away. "You like you on crack in that picture!"

"I'm not on crack!" Deidara huffed. "Crack makes you ugly, and I am soooooo NOT ugly!"

"haha!" Kisame laughed. "Deidara's a crack addict!"

"Well you're so wumbicious!" Deidara snorted.

"Nice try, Deidara but Kisame's not as stupid as he appears..." Itachi smirked.

"I-I..." Kisame stuttered. "I'm wumbicious?"

"Never mind, Kisame is stupid..." Itachi shook his head.

"Since when did 'wumbicious' become a word?" Tobi suddenly appeared and cocked his head to one side.

"Pft!" Deidara snorted. "It's Tobi..." he crossed his arms.

"Hi Deidara!" Tobi smiled

"This causes for a celebration!" Kisame threw his arms in the air and took out his cell phone and dialed a number. "Hello? Chucky Cheese? Yeah, I want a reservation for one, two, three, seven people!" Kisame counted. "Yes, i'm the adult... I'll be bringing six kids with me... Great! Yes... Yes... Thank you!"

"Why Chucky cheese?" Sasori groaned. "That place is stupid..."

"You just don't want to go there cause you used to be afraid of Chucky!" Kisame laughed.

"I wasn't afraid of him!" Sasori protested.

"It's okay Sasori!" Tobi patted Sasori's back. "Everyone knows!"

"Everyone?" Sasori asked.

"Yes, everyone..." Tobi nodded his head. "Even him!" Tobi pointed up.

"EVEN HIM?!?!" Sasori gasped.

"yup!" Tobi nodded. "He knows every dirty secret about you!"

"He does?!?!" Sasori looked around. "Is he following me?"

"He's up there!" Deidara pointed up.

"I demand to know his name!" Sasori stomped his foot.

"We call him God..." Kisame kissed his rosary. (A/N: For those of you who are stupid and don't know what a rosary is, It's a necklace with a cross! People are getting stupid these days!)

"Does he watch me?" Sasori said with a frightened look.

"yup!" Everyone replied.

"So when we going to Chucky's?" Zetsu popped out of nowhere.

"Am I coming?" Nami walked in.

"Uh... Nami..." Itachi tapped her shoulder. "You're in the boys dorm building-"

"So?" Nami shrugged.

"And this is the boys shower room..." Itachi added.

"uh..." Nami looked around as every boy stared at Nami, the only girl in the boys shower room. "Not bad... Not bad at all..." Nami smirked and nodded.

"Get out!" Everyone screamed.

"It was fun while it lasted!" Nami shrugged and ran for her life.

---ten minutes later---
"Let's play go fish!" Nami rammed the door to Itachi's room open.

"Go fish is a sutpid and pointless game..." Itachi groaned.

"You're just jealous cause You don't know how to play!" Deidara laughed.

"You don't want to mess with me..." Itachi glared at Deidara.

"Oh yes I do..." Deidara smirked as he stared at the penis area of Itachi.

"Maybe I should cancel the party..." Kisame reached for the phone.

"What?!" nami stopped Kisame. "Why?"

"Because it's to childish..." Kisame exclaimed.

"There's a kid in everyone somewhere inside their hearts!" Nami smiled. "So please... DO NOT cancel the party!"

"Okay!" Kisame grinned.

"I'll be right back!" Nami waved a good bye to everyone.

---Meanwhile---

"What the hell is taking Sasori and Deidara so long!" Neji gritted her teeth.

"You don't go to this class until next period!" Dolly rolled her eyes.

"I got reassigned..." Neji muttered.

"Do you think Sasori and Deidara got mad at eachother?" Tenten asked.

"Not likely..." Midori yawned.

"Trouble in bed..." Gaara whispered in Midori's ear.

"And how would YOU know that?!" Midori gasped and pointed accusingly at Gaara.

"The walls whisper to me!" Gaara whispered.

"How many times Gaara!?" Roxn slapped his head. "How many times I gotta tell you, hmm?! Stop saying idiotic things that you know that are stupid! You're always giving me highblood!"

"You got high last night?" Haku turned to Roxn.

"I said I'm getting high blood!" Roxn rolled her eyes.

"WAHHH!!!" Naruto ran in crying.

"What's up dobe..." Sasuke crossed his arms.

"I didn't make the honor roll!!!" Naruto sobbed.

"What a 'BIG' surprise!" Sakura said with a sarcastic remark.

"I know!" Naruto didn't take the sarcastic remark too well. "I mean-I did good didn't I?"

"You did your best, and that counts!" Haku patted Naruto's back.

"Some ramen would make me feel better-"

"A-ha!" Midori pointed at Naruto accusingly. "I knew it! you were in this for the ramen!"
"Dangit!" Naruto snapped his fingers.

"Hey Neji..." Sakura, Dolly, Roxn, Tenten, and Midori giggled.

"hn..." Neji replied. "What do you want?"

"We found this in your room, Neji!" Midori swung red panties around.

"how'd you find that?!-I mean That's not from MY room!" Neji snorted.

"We found it in YOUR room!" Roxn laughed.

"And too bad it's not sexy stuff either..." Sakura sighed.

"What a shame..." Tenten shook her head.

"shut up!" Neji growled.

"Help me!" Haku screamed.

"What?" Sasuke sneered.

"um..." Midori cocked a brow. "Why is Haku just hovering around like that?"

"I don't know..." Tenten replied.

"Get me down!" Haku screamed. "I don't know how I got this way! I was just walking and then before I knew it, I was just... floating!"

"How did he get this way?" Roxn pondered.

"It could be that he stood by Chouji..." Dolly replied. "You know, it was said that he has his own orbit system..."

"Sasuke?" Gaara turned to him. "Do you stuff a chicken's ass in your head everyday to maintain that hairstyle?"

"I DO NOT stuff a chicken's ass in my head!" Sasuke gritted his teeth.

"I'm sorry..." Gaara sighed. "It's just that your hair looks just like a chicken's ass..."

"Shino is actually Saddam Hussain!" Dolly suddenly blurted out.

"Really???" Everyone stared at Shino with their mouths wide open

"No duh!" Dolly rolled her eyes. "Why do you think he always wears the long coat and cool shades?"

"hmmm..." Naruto thought.

"To cover up his identity so he won't be recognized as Saddam Hussain!" Dolly threw her arms in the air.

"Shino humps bugs for a living..." Midori coughed.

"It's impossible to hump a bug..." Shino muttered as he walked to the Idiot Brigade.

"But if you could, you would!" Naruto pointed accusingly at Shino.

"I think you're a hooker!" Gaara stared disgustedly at Shino.

"I'm not a hooker..." Shino muttered.

"Yes you are!" Roxn jumped in front of Gaara and defended him. "That's another reason why you're wearing that long coat!"

"What are you talking about?" Shino hid a confused look behind his glasses.

"you know what she's 'talking' about!" Tenten wiggled her eyebrows. "You wear that coat to hide that large chest with the boobs and the nipples and the flabby thing next to the other thing..."

"Okay, that was just gross!" Midori stared disgustedly at Tenten.

"You people are weird and I hope that some of your stupidity hasn't rubbed off on me in the time remaining!" Shino muttered.

"uhh..." everyone thought

"uhh...." Naruto pondered. "It's good to see you again, too..." Naruto said slowly not knowing what Shino said..

"I said I didn't want to catch your stupid germs!" Shino rolled his eyes.

"Come again?" Naruto cocked a brow.

"Oh, I'm very sorry!" Shino said sarcastically. "I'm using such big words like 'stupid' and 'germs'!"

"Say what?" Naruto asked.

"That's it!" Shino growled. "I'm leaving!"

"Fine then you can just go!" Gaara huffed. "See if I care! It's not like i'm gonna miss you being here!"

"..." Shino walked away.

"Oh god! I feel so alone!" Gaara cried.

"Don't worry, Gaara!" Roxn patted his back.

---Back to Akatsuki---

"I can't wait for the party!" Kisame grinned.

"Hey!" Nami walked in and plopped on the couch next by Sasori and Tobi.

"What are you still doing in your uniform?!" Kisame's gills opened. "The party starts at seven! and it's like six twenty!"

"Sorry guys..." Nami sighed. "I can't come..."

"Why?" Kisame frowned.

"I have to sudy for the make-up exams since Itachi and I were absent for the past few days..."

"So you mean Itachi's not coming either!?" Kisame turned to Itachi.

"Sorry..." Itachi smirked.

Kisame sighed "At least Deidara and Sasori's coming-"

"Sorry Kirame!" Deidara grinned.

"It's Kisame!" Kisame corrected.

"Whatever..." Deidara shrugged. "Sasori and I are going on our first annual honeymoon!"

"This is our fifth honeymoon already!" Sasori groaned.

"ANNUAL honeymoon!" Deidara corrected.

"You are such liars!" Kisame pointed at them as if they were real criminals.

"Deidara is lying." Sasori nodded his head. "We're going back to school tomorrow, If we're absent tomorrow we'll get fired from our principal-"

"NEW principal!" Deidara corrected (again). "And they say she's such a bitch! I mean Sasori and I used to make the old principal give us a day off all the time! I heard that the new principal is some kind of slut..." Deidara whispered.

"You guys are soooo lucky..." Zetsu sighed. "My only wish in life is to meet a principal slut..."

"I thought your only wish in life was to be a fairy princess super secret agent/spy veterinarian?" Tobi cocked his head to one side.

"That was when I was in MIDDLE SCHOOL!" Zetsu rolled his eyes. "I'm in high school now! I'm a new man!"

"And this is coming from a guy who hangs up the backstreet boys poster on the wall!" Itachi snorted.

"Shut up, stinko!" Zetsu gritted his teeth.

"So the only people who are coming are: Tobi, Zetsu, and Me?" Kisame squeaked.

"Sorry man!" Zetsu shook his head. "I can't make it, i have to visit my aunt tonight!"

"What time are you leaving?" Kisame frowned.

"In about ten minutes!" Zetsu shrugged. "She's really sick..." Zetsu whispered.

Tobi spoke up "Yeah me too-"

"Not you too, Tobi Please!" Kisame begged.

"Sorry..." Tobi shook his head. "I mean, Why Chucky Cheese?"

"All my birthday parties were there..." Kisame frowned.

"If the party was at the Strip joint then I would've gone with you no problem, but Chucky cheese? That's like for little kids!"

"There's a kid inside everyone!" Kisame said with much knowledge. "No matter who old you are, there is always a kid inside you!"

"What idiot told you that!" Nami laughed.

"You did." Kisame replied.

"When did I say that?" Nami cocked a brow.

"When i was going to cancel the party..." Kisame squeaked.

"pft!" Nami snorted and turned away nervously. 'oh my god! maybe I did say that!'

---meanwhile (again)---

"DEIDARA!!!" Everyone screamed. "Where the hell are you!!!"

"Will you shut the fuck up!" A voice groaned.

"Oh no he didn't!" Haku turned around and gasped.

"What the fuck is your problem?" The man rolled his eyes.

"I'm the sub! and I'm a little late, SO WHAT!"

"You're ten minutes late..." Sasuke muttered.

"Yeah, like I care..." the man rolled his eyes.

"Who are you?" Midori cocked a brow.

"I'm the sub, please feel free to call me Mr. Hidan, Hidan sensei, Mr..." (A/N: Hidan from chapter 7 Dollypop and Nami... Yeah!)

"Okay then, Miss!" Naruto laughed.

"Aren't you the guy who dated Deidara?" Roxn asked.

"ughhhhh..." Hidan shuddered. "Those were bad memories..."

"What kind of bad?" Gaara cocked his head to one side.

"The kind of feeling you get when you have to kiss your grandma..." Hidan replied.

"EWWWWW!!!" Everyone shuddered.

"Everyone shut the fuck up!" Hidan huffed. "It's says that I have to ask everybody who's got news for me..." Hidan mumbled to himself. 'Oh Great!' Hidan thought.

"Okay, Who's got news for me..." Hidan shrugged and sat back on Deidara's chair.

"Oh oh!" Chouji raised his hand. "Me! Pick Me!"

"hmmm..." Hidan looked from face to face. "WHo shall I pick..."

"MEEE!" Chouji was trying frantically to get the teacher's attention. "PICK MEEEEEEE!!!"

"The fat man in the back..." Hidan yawned.

"I'm not fat-"

"While we're still young Chouji!" Hidan groaned.

"Fine!" Chouji huffed. "My aunt's getting married!"

Crickets

CHIRPCHIRPCHIRP

"And?" Hidan cocked a brow.

"And, My cousin's gonna be the flower girl-"

"And what?" Hidan interrupted. "You'll be the ring bearer?"

"He can't be a ring bearer!" Gaara stood up."He's too fat! I-I-I mean he's too big! I-I-I mean he's to old! Only little boys that are like six or seven can be a ring bearer! No offence Chouji!" Gaara back away from the fat man.

"Offence, none taken!" Chouji laughed.

"I have news!" Lee raised his hand.

"Allright 'bush'" Hidan chuckled.

"I worked EXTRA hard yesterday!" Rock Lee flashed a grin.

"Lee!" Sakura snorted.

"Y-yes Sakura?" Lee blushed.

"You overwork your ass too much!"

"But isn't that youthful?" Lee questioned the pretty pink girl.

"Nope." Tenten replied.

"Overworking your ass is soooooo not youthful!" Haku snorted.

"Yeah!" Naruto agreed.

"So All my hard work... made me... LESS YOUTHFUL?" Lee squeaked.

"Yup." Everyone nodded.

"NOOOOO!!!" Lee fell to the ground dramatically. "I have failed you Gai sensei!!!"

"Oh, and people say that you're stupid." Midori added.

"And why is that?" Neji asked.

"Well, he dosen't know a thing about contractions!" Midori replied. "It's second grade! That's probably the reaso why he says stuff like: 'I will' or 'I do not' in the english dub."

"What are these contrations you speak of?" Lee asked angrily. "I demand you to tell me what they are!"

"Are you a dumbass?" Dolly asked.

"The flames of youth are burning inside me!" Lee's eyes lit with fire. "They tell me that they are on my side!"

"That would be a yes..." Neji answered Dolly's question.

"Lee!" Midori snorted. "Dumbasses like YOU, aren't youthful!"

"NOOOOOO!!!" Lee screamed.

"You also have bushy eyebrows!" Haku pointed out. "That ain't youthful!"

"WAAAAH!!!" Lee cried.

"hehehe..." Everyone chuckled. They enjoyed torturing Lee. Seeing him suffer like that was certainly amusing.

"And I also heard that you don't have a dick!" Naruto laughed. "Let's hope you don't end up in one of Sai paintings of the DICKLESS!"

"My dick is very youthful!" Lee exclaimed.

"I'm afraid I'm gonna need some proof..." Sasuke smirked.

"b-but..." Lee stuttered. "I... cannot..."

"So you are dickless!" Tenten grinned.

"I am soooooo gonna spread this sweet rumor!" Dolly snickered. "Rock Lee is a dickless, unyouthful, dumbass who never even pass second grade shit!"

---Akatsuki Acadamy---

RING RINGRING

"Kisame, it's the phone..." Itachi looked up from his book.

"Hello..." Kisame answered the phone. "Hello? HELLO?!... GO TO HELL!" Kisame slammed the phone on the wall.

"Who was that?" Tobi asked.

"No one..." Kisame muttered. "It's probably those stupid prank callers..."

"Maybe your call got dropped..." Deidara suggested. "You should switch to Netflix, the network with the fewest dropped calls!"

"Itachi reads porn!" Kisame blurted out.

"WHAT?!" Itachi and Nami shrieked.

"ITACHI!" Nami glared at Itachi.

"I-I don't read porn!" Itachi backed away. "I swear! Kisame's lying!"

"Yes you do!" Kisame protested. "I saw! You have stacks of porn at your house!"

"That's not true!" Itachi gritted his teeth.

"It is!" Kisame nodded his head. "And when he reads them too much he gets an overdose and that's the reason why he dosen't get sexual urges anymore..."

"Itachi!!!" Nami lunged at him.

"It's not true, Nami!" Itachi pushed her off as gently as possible. "Don't listen to him! It's not mine! It's my dad's! I just read it on Wednesday nights!"

"SO THERE WAS PORN!" Kisame pointed at Itachi accusingly.

"SHUT UP!" Itachi lunged at Kisame.

"You shut up!" Kisame fought back.

"Both ya'll shut up!" Nami got in the fight.

"Ahhhh!" Zetsu tripped and got in the fight.

"WOOO HOOOO!!!" Tobi jumped in the fight.

"This is sooo hot!" Deidara cheered. "Soon' they'll be ripping each other's clothes off and I get to see them all sweaty! And I have a good seat view!"

"Maybe coming here was a bad idea..." Sasori groaned.

A/N: This was my tenth chapter... oh god I feel so tired... PLEASE PEOPLE! Just review and tell people to read my story, is that so hard? Plus, I never got your email katanna, but I read your profile, so I sent you an email... I need inspiration from people, so please review! I need reviewers to make a short story! (Anyone who reviews twice will be in it) I'm thinking of making another story... Hope you enjoyed my tenth chappie! (It's a little boring though... Waaaahhhh!!! I got no more ideas! give me some ideas somebody!!!)