Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Secret Love ❯ Hill ( Chapter 6 )

Disclaimer: All original Naruto characters, settings, plot etc. are the property of Masashi Kishimoto. No copyright infringement is intended and I make no profit from this story. … Hill

I could hear singing. I recognised the voice, though perhaps not immediately. In fact I almost doubted my instincts, for why should I dream of Sakura? But as I turned where I stood on the white earth and swivelled through the white mist in search of a visual to match the sound, there she was. Sakura stood on a stage, one with flowers and cherry blossoms to surround her, singing into a microphone. Yet there was no audience. No, surely there was nobody here but myself. The sight puzzled me…where was I? …Don't try to explain your mind, I know what's happening here…

"Outoto." I turned, looking again for a body to match the assumption. Sakura's song continued while a turned again and again. Though through the heavy mist Sakura's saddened appearance had vanished. I struggled to pull even my own weight through the thickness of it. …One minute it's love and, Suddenly, It's like a battlefield…

"Outoto," I turned. Where was he? I could see nothing anymore. Even the sand beneath my feet was too far for the mist to allow. …One word, Turns into a war. Why is it the smallest things, That tear us down…

"Where…?" I asked, wanting to see him more than anything. Even Sakura's bleak visage would have helped me understand this dream. It was like no other. The feeling surrounded me. "Where are you…Itachi?" My body broke into a run and in the next instant I was in a room; a room not unfamiliar to me. And yet it was not the same. It had been too long for me to remember the last time I'd seen my brother's bedroom look like this. …My world's nothing when you're gone, I'm out here without a shield…

He was standing by the bed, crouching to look underneath. He was younger than me, I realised. The thought sickened me. He must have been only eleven or twelve here. I saw him pull something out from under the bed. It was large and struggling and I knew immediately what it was. I felt even worse when the noise began. The laughter grew and grew until both were in a fit of giggles. Lying on Itachi's bedroom floor tickling one another. …Can't go back, Now…

"There," he panted, "I found you." his voice carried such feeling that I had remembered so vividly in other dreams. I stared at myself with apathy though. I had been a foolish child. Playing games, acting up, it had been unnecessary and I wished I had not been so very blind.   …Both hands, tied behind my back, for nothing…

"Aniki! Aniki! Play with me more!" The small body whined, pitifully, climbing over him enthusiastically. But no. "No, no, Sasuke. I have something to do." At the look on the child's face, though, Itachi softened. "I'll play with you again soon, Outoto. I promise." And I couldn't watch when he raised two fingers and tapped the boys forehead. With my head turned, I listened on to Sakura's song. …Oh, no, These times when we climb so fast to fall, Again…

My head turned back when I felt pressure on my wrist. He was standing in front of me, tears trickling their way down his cheeks. Itachi was alone now and the room faded fast, dissolving into a mist once more. This mist was different though; slightly darker; slightly thinner. He was holding my wrist. I didn't mind the contact, though I knew very well how I should, but he was so warm. …Why we got to fall for it, Now…

"Itachi…" I tried, prying for the reason behind his upset. It was the only way I'd be free from this dream. The feeling was getting worse with each passing moment. He opened his mouth to speak but my world erupted into a white nothingness and I awoke.

I couldn't remember the last time I'd woken from a dream only to hear myself screaming. And I was screaming that night. Was screaming every night. I had foolishly believed that my nightmares were getting better, they had lessened up until that point but from that first night onwards I had been plagued by this one recurring dream over and over and over again. And each time I would wake in the same state; sweaty, screaming and sobbing. I despised it. But what I despised even more so was the dream - it contained nothing that should be strong enough to render me this catastrophically behaving and yet each and every time would be exactly the same. Even the events that followed.

It took only moments for Naruto to charge through the door. I was on the sofa tonight and he had taken the bed. He was by my side in an instant, asking me if I was all right. I didn't answer. I never answered. The first time it happened Naruto had panicked and fussed and touched so much that I'd had to punch him. At least now he knew what was happening when it occurred. That didn't make the situation any less humiliating for me. Then again, I never did care for showing emotion and having Naruto see me when my face was so wet with tears and sweat, when my voice was scratchy from the yelling and my hair a mess from the struggling was not something I enjoyed.

He was always fairly accepting of it. He never pressed me to tell him what it was I dreamt of, which was good of him, if a little unusual given his character. It didn't take us long to settle back down and then he returned to bed and I lay back on the couch. The dream plagued my mind for the remainder of the night.

It was the most wretched dream I'd ever had. And it was the only one I ever had any more. Each time I had it though, I kept missing something. It felt so unfinished when I awoke and the feeling grew so much as the dream continued. I was almost certain that it was that feeling which caused such disgraceful outbursts of emotion. And perhaps frustration at the incomplete ending. Nevertheless I had to deal with it at least once a fortnight. I suppose I was lucky, in a way, that I no longer had any other nightmares.

When eventually I saw what a waste of time it was to lay on the couch when I obviously would get no more sleep, I began to study. It was still dark outside - though for it was summer I knew it would not last. The summers here were as I'd expected; hatefully hot. Last summer had been dreadful. I had burnt more than I have in my life, and everyone dragged me to the beach each and every day of it. Perhaps this year - being the second year - would be better. I knew how to cope with it. The village did indeed have creams for protecting skin, it had taken me too long to find that out then though and by that time my skin had already been blistered. This time I knew better. I had already bought cream and was using it very wisely.

Naruto hated when I studied; 'what's the point in that' he would say all the time to me but I paid him no attention when he did. I actually enjoyed studying. It took up a large part of my life now. I knew it was useless information for when we left this place but still…I liked to be the best in things and this was no different. Back when I'd chosen my six subjects last year I'd had no idea what I was letting myself in for.

I had taken artistic studies - which I liked most because I shared classes with Mai and that assured things were always to be laughed at. The actual work was something like a stress reliever, much to Naruto's happiness for after art classes or whenever I was particularly artistic Naruto was always let off easily. Until I'd finished being relaxed and then he had to deal with his ignorance and my anger completely.

I'd also chosen to take a course in language. Writing was a main part in that class, as was reading; both I enjoyed, though according to my sensei my writing lacked…life, he said it was. He said my writing felt dead. Which I was still surprised at because in Dramatic studies I managed to portray emotion easily. I was the best in that class, definitely. The teacher had even suggest I go on to become an actor but I thought that ridiculous. In all honestly I'd never believed myself an actor but I suppose my lack of emotion helps me fake things.

Those three were my favourites, though I'd also taken musical studies which was almost as good. Supposedly I could sing and dance well. I stuck mostly to the singing, dancing felt a bit too dangerous since if I got carried away I could go a bit too fast. Faster than civilians could do. So dancing was not my forte, but apparently I could sing.

I had stuck with Physical studies with Naruto since I didn't want to miss out on the exercise, especially with our lack of training, but the boys annoyed me far more than I'd like to admit. Naruto loves it, with the exception of one boy. An older guy called Jose. I've met him outside of class once or twice since he is friends with Mai and Mika and as such often comes along for breaks. Naruto doesn't like him but I don't know why. Nobody in this town really deserves to be thought ill; they are all too nice, or perhaps I'm just in a better mood most of the time.

And my last subject was biological studies, it was interesting but often resulted in putting me in a bad humour, for I was growing more and more ashamed of what I had put my own body through in the years with Orochimaru. And Biological studies centred around the human body and how it worked.

But, all in all, I was satisfied with the way my subjects were going. I often thought it a shame that I might not be able to pass them at the end of the five year study period. For I doubted we would still be here by then. Since our arrival here the Hokage had sent two letters. The first to me and the second blatantly not to me. The second had contained nothing but notes on the 'goings-on' in the village and was addressed to Naruto all the way through. I'd had half a mind not to give it to him, but in the end I did not keep it hidden. He would find out eventually anyway and become even more of an annoyance with complaints.

He'd regarded it with much enthusiasm and excitement for about a day, then he seemed almost to forget all about it. It was no concern of mine, of course. I didn't care where his attentions lay as long as they caused no frustration for me.

Just as I expected when Naruto got up in the morning he had a few things to say about my studying. I ignored him, only smirking to myself for how well I knew him. He had to leave soon though to go downstairs. It was one of the days when he had no subjects. I, too, had fewer today but I still had to go in for two in the afternoon. Therefore Naruto opened the bar early and worked until I returned from my subject, then I took over.

Riki*, the only waiter who'd been here from the very beginning, came in five days a week and we had three other employees - I say 'we' but it was actually Kippomaru and Rizzo who employed all of us, but I practically ran this business now. Besides, it was my money - Naruto's as well - that had paid for all the improvements done to the place. And it was well improved. I was no longer ashamed to work here.

We had transformed the dingy bar into a substantially well looking bar and diner. We had knocked down the wall separating the bar and the storage room through and kept only a small side room for the storage and staircase, as well as installing a small toilet. The bar now stood in the middle, circular and well-kept. The place looked much better decorated too - all my own doing, Naruto knows nothing of style - and was now quite popular in the village. We had even had a few students come through from the apartment complex a few miles through the forest. The one for students which had it's own diners and shops. They rarely ever came here but with the new look and Naruto's popularity at school - educational establishment - we'd had a fair few visits.

I have to say I was proud. It was mostly my own doing and our pay had soared up as well - on my demand. Kippomaru certainly couldn't complain with the amount of money he was now gaining from the place. I had changed the name of it too. It used to be called 'Kippomaru's bar' but was now 'the burning makenki'. He had to agree with it. Because I was getting him good business. Naruto, I must admit, did work harder than he used to. But the boy could be so annoying when I was working with him. He got bored and caused a nuisance. He was always speaking to this customer or that and though it helped with business it gave me more work in the bar.

"See yah later, Sasuke. Unless you fancy coming down to help me today, just until your subjects start," he said as he started down the stairs, pausing to look back at me. "Or until the cook arrives! I'm on my own until then and nobody comes in until the restaurant opens at nine." He attempted to give me a pleading look but I wasn't buying it. I told him I might come down. It was simply so he'd go away, but perhaps I would, once I was finished with my studying.

I had never given any thought to the reasons for my choices when it came to the topics. I'd picked at random anything that seemed amusing. If I'd known I would actually…want to continue with them I might have chosen differently. It wouldn't do to get attached to such things. I had to always remember who I was and how I was nothing now. I was an avenger and now have no purpose. That is me. That is my life.

I would normally study for hours on end. I loved how it distracted my mind from even the idiot I was living with. Whenever Naruto was downstairs he would make such a noise that it was hard to destract myself and studying was just the antidote. Yet it was harder to concentrate on my studies this time, perhaps the dream still harbouring at the back of my mind was the key. That stupid dream. And I was absolutely convinced that it was linked to the feeling. Nevertheless, only half an hour later and I was down in the restaurant helping Naruto. There was extra work today since Naruto hadn't cleaned the dishes the night before so now I was doing them for him while he cleaned the tables and bar and toilet.

We didn't talk much as we worked, which was slightly unusual since Naruto always has something to say. Not that I was complaining, I would just rather he acted as normal. I hate when things change, especially when it involves Naruto. I like him to be constant. He is the only constant part of my life after all. Yet he seemed almost - distracted. If something was on his mind he had better tell me about it. It gets on my nerves when he sulks about.

"Naruto…?" But I never got to finish my question for he spun over to me so fast that I was forced into silence. What on earth was the matter with the boy? He stood mumbling for a minute before snapping his head up with a look of force in his eyes.

"You're coming with me tonight."

Was that all he was going to say…? I wasn't sure what to make of his odd behaviour so I simply raised an eyebrow. If he got any weirder I contemplated knocking him out. Perhaps when he woke up he would have more sense.

"I…uh…found this place…that time I went with Tessa and Lusca to the…er…to the student complex thingy…Well I found this place when I was off walking by myself and I…I was wondering…Well actually it was Mai's idea…I wouldn't have even asked if she didn't say I should…and I don't even really want you to come but she really insisted and-"

"Naruto. Out with it, I'm sick of your rambling." What was his problem today?

He huffed a little, looking highly uncomfortable. "…I want to show it to you…If you'll come…which you should! 'Cause it's awesome!" I weighed the situation. I knew there was something he wasn't telling me. I was sure of it. I didn't really believe all that stuff about it being Mai's idea, she's intrusive but she could never convince Naruto of something, his mind is too far gone for anybody of normality to even attempt to control him.

But maybe she knew about this…and I liked Mai…well I didn't like her. She was nice…I could put up with her. I had actually made plans for tonight. It was the only day in weeks that I had tonight off work at the same time as Riki and we had arranged for me to go over to his apartment. He didn't live in the student flats but had no parents to look after him. So he was given a flat of his own. In our time working here together we had formed a sort of…understanding of each other.

I don't have friendships you see. I don't do friendships. Friends only cause pain. But…when I looked at Naruto and saw how badly he seemed to want this I thought that perhaps I could go with him. If it wasn't worth it then I would take it out on him later. I'd spend all morning in the shower so he couldn't shave…for five days. That would teach him.

I was actually more empathetic to Naruto when it came to the facial hair, for I had eventually began puberty myself. Though it wasn't all I had wanted it to be. It was more. And not in the places that I liked. There wasn't very much of it because my hair grew fairly thin but…it made me feel dirty. It was ugly and curly and I disliked it very much. So now I took longer shaving than him. And he was about as understanding as I had been. My little moustache couldn't take that long could it? He would wonder in amazement at how long I spent shaving. I wouldn't tell him to truth of course…that I shaved my legs and armpits and…It wasn't something he needed to know.

So I agreed to go with him, hoping Riki wouldn't hold a grudge. I doubted it. People in this village were far more obliging than any I had ever encountered before. It was Naruto who held the grudge over Riki. From the very start of our acquaintance Naruto had been trying to get me to stay away from him. He thought Riki a bad influence on me. I could only stare at him in wonder when he told me. That he could consider anybody a bad influence on me was insane. I would say I'm the worst influence on anybody in this village. Idiot Dobe.

He waited until nightfall when our last shift was completely finished, dishes and all, before taking me out into the woods. He took me though a small expanse of trees and through the students apartments, through more trees until everything grew extremely dark, the lights from the houses behind us faded and we walked even more.

He took me much farther than I'd anticipated and each time I thought he would stop and declare us there, he continued on. For a while I held the belief that he had gotten lost, which I was non too pleased about, since, and I winced inwardly at my naivety, I had not bothered to remember the way back. Being lost in this dense forestry at night with Naruto did not sound appealing. As it was I was lucky, for Naruto had not forgotten the way - it was just farther then I thought possible for his small brain to remember.

The place he took me to was really nothing special; just a mildly tall cliff, swamped by trees on all sides that looked down on a sandy stream with blossoms of flowers and bushes of foreign plants. None of which I could see clearly in the slim moonlight. The first thought I had was of all the things I'd seen here, on this island, this place was not only the most tropical, but also the most dangerous. Compared with everything else here the steep hill posed the most threat; if a child were to come running through here they would never see the drop before they hit the bottom.

Naruto took a seat on the ledge and sighed in contentment, looking straight through the slip of trees and into the full moon. It shone clearly on the hill from it's position above the stream. I couldn't deny that it was…nice…in a way…though the feeling basked in times like these and that stopped me enjoying the moment too much. But for as long as I stood there in silence I could not fathom why I had been brought here.

There must have been a reason and I found it extremely off-putting for Naruto to do such a thing for no reason at all. He was not to type for things like this; he was loud and annoying. This was calm and peaceful. His behaviour made me suspicious.

"Sit down." He eventually said, patting the space beside him. And I didn't disobey him - not because I wanted to give him what he liked but because walking had made me bored and I liked to think this was going somewhere. He would regret wasting my time. So I took the seat beside him, forced close enough that our legs pressed together in a way that should have made me uncomfortable.

Again the silence reigned over us. I was tempted to speak up, just to break to atmosphere. Not that it was uncomfortable; the atmosphere. But the fact that it wasn't made me unpleased. Yet I didn't know what I could say, I didn't want to seem weird, because I couldn't remember the last time I had started a conversation with Naruto.

There was something I had been itching to know for a long time. I held the belief that Naruto had been involved in relationships before he came here. I just wanted to know about them. I could never ask, though, because I knew I would hate someone asking me about that, had I ever been in any sort of sexual relationships. As it turned out I didn't need to bring it up; Naruto walked right into it himself.

"Happy birthday, Sasuke!" His outburst startled me in each and every way and for a few minutes I was - shamefully - a little stunned. For starters the shout had came from nowhere and cut through the silence like a brick through glass. His attitude also aroused something within me…something distinctly…flattering. And then…it was my birthday?

…oh yes…so it was. Strange of me to forget. Then again I'd never been partial to celebrating my birthday. In fact…I don't remember having one last year. I must have forgotten it as well. How on earth Naruto knew about it was beyond me. I suppose I should have been grateful; for the reminder if nothing else, but I wasn't really, not until he came up with a brilliant plan to give me what I wanted.

"Anything." He said, with such nervousness that I even kept my mouth shut as he snatched my hand and held it between us. "Anything you want, I'll give to you. I didn't know what you would want for birthday so I thought I'd ask…then you could get anything." And I felt suddenly very thankful to him. He had given me a chance to bring it up. He had given me a chance to bring up something I could never have brought up before. Yes, I was relieved to get it off my chest. It had followed me for so long I would have liked to cut it away.

"Well…I want to know about your relationships." Was what I said, fully aware of how I sounded but too full of relief to care all that much. He looked at me strangely and asked what I meant. When I told him 'who you've had sex with', in a tone that betrayed none of my building anticipation, he blushed brilliantly and I loved every moment of his discomfort. I was a little embarrassed too but his blatancy certainly made up for it.

"Well…um…" I felt myself stare at him, though I could see that he was beginning to grow upset. "It was…Sakura was my girlfriend for a while…" I should have expected that, yet I had never for a moment thought it would be her. I felt eager to know more so I nudged his side when the momentary silence began to grate on my nerves. It was only then that I saw the shimmer of tears in his eyes. He turned his head away and sighed shakily. Obviously he thought I would not notice. Obviously he thought it shameful to cry in front of me. Why talking of this would make him cry I had no idea but I would all too soon find out.

"Yeah…Sakura." His voice was distant and there was a look on his face that I saw now as guilt. He was guilty?

A sigh. "We were dating…for a while…a few whiles. We kinda kept falling out and stuff…only not really." I resisted the urge to raise an eyebrow but kept listening despite my own growing nervousness. Why I was nervous I had no idea.

"It…didn't really work out." He turned to look at me and I was glad his tears hadn't fallen. "It didn't work out." he repeated, as if only now convincing himself of it. I wondered…had she been the one to break things off?

"Every time we tried to have something…a spark or something…it was just missing. It was - my fault. Completely. I don't blame her at all. There just…wasn't anything there."

I felt sure I knew what had happened and although I felt cruel I couldn't stop myself. "Why did you keep going back to her then. If she didn't love you why not…move…on…" But now he was looking at me solemnly, utter agony etched into his eyes before his head fell to my shoulder.

"No." He moaned to me. "No, I…I just couldn't say no to her. All those times. All those times I said I loved her and chased her and then when I got her I was so happy! So happy! Yet…I led her on! I lied all those times and I didn't love her and then she loved me…for real…and I hurt her." His hand squeezed mine almost to the point of pain but I stayed silent, waiting for him to compose himself.

He pulled away, looked into the trees, wiped his eyes, took a deep breath and faced me. "I did try. I really tried to love her but I couldn't. I won't forgive myself for it. But I did try." He sounded more like he was attempting to tell me something secret. Something beneath the lines and I was reminded of the look on Sakura's face the last time I had seen her. From across the battlefield she had looked so angry…so jealous.

Did she have a reason to be? Looking at our linked hands, where his thumb rocked backwards and forwards over my skin I wondered to myself. Did she have a reason to be jealous of me? Naruto's laughter interrupted my thoughts.

"So, yeah! That was my first! And only!…kinda." Well…now he had peaked my interest again and seemed to notice from my new stare. "Oh no! Don't make me tell you more!" but he laughed and seemed to have no problem sharing even more.

"This is confidential though. You must tell nobody! I'd have to kill you." He winked, then pouted in mock insult as I snorted.

"No, seriously, we were so stupid even doing the things we did. It was all for fun though…just curiosity but…wow - we could've really got in trouble!" I wished he would just tell me already. I got the message. He wasn't supposed to do it.

"But - it was when I went to Suna one time. I'd gone to speak with Gaara and train a little with him, but, I was chilling one night with Kankuro and Temari…" I had a feeling I knew what was coming; he'd cheated on Sakura with Temari or something idiotic like that. "Temari left early cause she was training a group of genine the next day, but me and Kankuro stayed up really late and we just sort'ah decided to…experiment." he looked at me a little wearily. I hadn't really expected that but now I knew what he meant when he had said they could have gotten into trouble. Had they been caught they would have been executed. Perhaps not Kankuro but Naruto definitely. Suna wasn't quite as strict and Gaara could have protected him. Naruto would have been doomed.

"Don't look at me like that!" He exclaimed at my look of disbelief. "I'm not looking at you like anything…I just think it was careless of you." I replied honestly.

"Yeah, well! We were young and wanted to know what it felt like."

An awkward silence spread around us, this time tempting me to remove my hand from his. For some reason I didn't though, and my curiosity got the better of me as I asked what it was like. To say Naruto seemed surprised might have been an understatement, or it could have been an overstatement, either way he refused to answer me. His expression made me smirk and he laughed too.

Conversation continued from that point, I said little but listened a lot. The topic of my own sexuality came up, and in my new found good mood it didn't take long for him to pry a confession of my inexperience out. It was less embarrassing than I thought as well, and I managed not to be offended again when he looked shocked.

And as I returned to the apartment later than I'd ever expected I had to admit - silently to myself - that it had been the best birthday I could recall. …

The name of the bar lol I chose that name because I wanted it to be something to do with fire, from Sasuke's family bloodline. And makenki means the spirit of rivalry. I just thought that fit Naruto and Sasuke so well…

Hope you enjoyed!

Riki* pronounced 'Ree-kee'

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