Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ To be, or not to be... In love. ❯ Chapter six. ( Chapter 6 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

I do NOT, in any way, own Naruto or any of its characters!! Everyone I'm about to use in this fic strictly belongs to Kishimoto-sama, the plot and the play I use in it are the only things I own. (Both of them are solely my ideas! Don't steal them!)

Warnings; Yaoi (gay-sex) and quite explicit scenes. A bit angsty scenes (although this fic isn't really an angst, but these chapters are exceptions). And also, I've recently discovered that if I don't make Sasuke just a tiny bit ooc, my story isn't quite as good... I mean, I think it's really sweet when he's acting a bit uke-ish... ^^ Please bear with me, I'm hopelessly romantic. -_-'

Also I would like to apoligize! Um... In the previous chapter, I accidently made 'Hatake' Kakashi's first name, which is wrong. Kakashi is his first name. I'm so sorry! For some odd reason, I always thought that Hatake was Kakashi's first name. Maybe because everyone keeps calling him Kakashi so easily... Any way, I'm sorry about that. ^^ Okay? I won't do it again.

Sorry for the long wait, I've been busy with my summer job. And also, not only that, but someone stole my fic again. *sighs miserably* Not this fic though, it was my Loveless-fic this time.
I don't understand. Why do you have to steal my things? I put a lot of effort in my work! Don't steal my fics!! Not only does it make me very sad and upset, it's also extremely pathetic! Write your own fics, damnit!

Pairings (not all of them will be in this chapter); NaruSasu, NejiShikamaru, KakashiIruka, and some more... (giggles) :3

Okay, here goes nothing! (Hmm... what a weird saying.)

Chapter six;

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
Sasuke's p.o.v.


I sat in one of the chairs in my kitchen. Unmoving, except from the small shivering that unavoidably shook my body as the fever made its last moves in my system. I hate being sick, and I especially hate it when other people see me in such a dishonorable state. But Naruto was there... in my home. And I didn't want to get him out of my apartment any more. The faint jingle of teacups and spoons echoed through the room and mixed with the sound of the clock on the wall.

I stared at Naruto's back as he made us both some tea. The kitchen was getting darker as the sun started to set.

He looked calm, even though the only thing I could see was his back and his smooth neck, covered by golden strands. He gave me such a calm impression it almost ceased my stiff shivering, but then again... I was so nervous about having him in my apartment that they almost increased instead of ceased. Last time he was in my place he wasn't even there for a minute, and he only had time to see a small part of it as I put my shoes on. But there he stood, in my kitchen, making us tea. It was actually a very pleasant thought.

I could get used to this...

I almost smiled, but remembered our situation.

"You made me fall in love with you."

Naruto, how could you do this to me? How did you do it? You made me broke the one vow I swore never to break. I always promised myself not to let it happen, and yet you made me fall this hard. Bastard.

Naruto easily got into my apartment (due to this damn cold!), and after our fight and my little breakdown, I started to shiver almost uncontrollably due to fever and mental fatigue, so Naruto forced me to sit down, then he wrapped his own jacket around me. Probably to keep me warm, even though it didn't really help much. It smelled nice though, like fresh autumn air and leather.

Then he started to make tea. The mixed scent of his jacket on my shoulders and the tea he was making filled my nose and made me a little dizzy.

Even though it all would've been so nice under other circumstances, I knew what was coming. I feared it, but to tell the truth... I think I need to tell someone before I go insane. Naruto is probably the best person for me to tell. He's the only one I trust these days. I mean, I can't talk about him with mother or father. The thought makes me want to laugh one of those 'dry laughs'. I finally understand what that expression means.

"You feeling better yet?" Naruto sat down on his knees in front of me and put his hand on my forehead. I shut my eyes as the cool surface of his hand cooled my burning head down a bit and nodded absent mindedly. Naruto scoffed. "Yeah right..." I heard him mumble. "The tea will be done in a few minutes... do you want to get to bed?"

I could barely stand that! The way he sounded so fucking serious! I told you this before right? During the last several months, Naruto's been looking depressed and cold, and it doesn't fit him at all! I didn't like him that way either, but I didn't know how I felt for him back then, so I didn't care as much... He never smiled for real, especially when he was with Sakura. I wonder if he realized himself that he was unhappy. Stupid dobe.

I remember when we were little, Naruto was always happy those days. Annoyingly so. Bright colored clothes and a goofy grin, that was Naruto Uzumaki for you. Although, it was annoying when he was like that... hyperactive and thirsty for attention. It still fits him a lot better than this stoic, adult mask of his. I hate it!

But ever since we started our relationship, he's been looking more and more happy. He started to smile true smiles again, and those stupid jokes of his returned. And I can honestly say that I loved it!
All of that was gone now. All that was left was that grown up-look... it just didn't fit him at all! He looked so serious and he sounded so calm it made me feel like I had let him down in an unforgivable way.
Well...actually I had. Abandoning him in the bathroom like that... I'm truly pathetic.

I meant to call! Really... I did! Well, maybe not... but it wasn't really my intention to hurt him. I was just so angry. Angry with him for liking me, angry with him for even existing!
Most of all, I was angry with him for making me feel like that! Like this... as if my belly will explode from all the pink butterflies flying around in there. And I don't even like pink!
...Dear gods... what am I thinking about? 'Pink butterflies'? Must be the fever. I apologize.

All of a sudden I was sitting on my bed while Naruto got the tea for us. I couldn't quite remember how I got there at first, but then I remembered with an annoyed blush that Naruto had carried me. Damn him for always making me the girl. As tired as I was... I hadn't the strength to get angry. Weak and pale, I leaned my back on the wall while staring at my bare feet. They were also pale. I had a small itch on my arm, but I ignored it... it was too troublesome to raise my hand and scratch it.

Naruto had exchanged his jacket for one of my blankets. I was getting warmer by the minute. As usual my room bathed in orange light for those final last minutes before the sun set completely. I averted my gaze from my pale toes to the window. I saw nothing but some clouds... still I envied them. So innocent, pure and free...

Oh please... stop it, you sound like a wanna-be poet!

I scoffed at my own silly thoughts and continued to stare at my feet. Somehow I found them fairly fascinating.

Oh, would you look at that - my left little toe is bigger than the right one. How weird...

"I hope it tastes normal... I don't make tea very often," Naruto murmured as he entered my bedroom with two cups in his hands. I gave him a smile hoping it looked somewhat genuine. He didn't return it though.
I sighed... Of course. That's so like Uzumaki Naruto. The way he always seems to thinks everything is his fault, hence the seriousness.

Naruto sat down on the floor by my bed. He took small sips from his tea, grimaced a bit at the taste but swallowed it none the less. It annoyed me that he sat so distant from me. I mean, he was the one who basically broke into my home and forced me to confess that there was something wrong. I sighed again.

"Naruto..." He turned his head towards me as I spoke his name with a pathetically weak voice. "Come sit with me."

He stared at me for a few seconds before getting up from the floor and taking a seat beside me. He still didn't make any body contact, but... if I angled my foot a little bit, I could easily brush it against his.

And so I did. I let my toes caress his foot for a few seconds before taking a small sip from the tea. It tasted a little bitter, but it was warm and the taste that lingered in my mouth after I swallowed was actually quite nice. My heart fluttered a little as Naruto's toes started to respond to my touches.

The light touches continued, as if we tried to get to know each other again after being apart for the whole weekend. Nothing else touched, it was just our feet.
The silence started to feel like a lullaby as the minutes went by, only broken by the swallowing sounds our tea-drinking created.

Naruto sighed.

"I... I really missed you." He sounded shy and nervous. I nodded while staring at our feet.

"I know. I'm sorry."

More silence. The tea got cold before I finished it so I put it down. The room was getting darker by the minute.
Finally Naruto broke the awkward silence.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Talk? Naruto actually wanted me to talk? I was rather baffled. But... I wanted to tell him, so I guess it was quite relieving that he actually wanted me to tell the story.

"Yeah..." I said, but remained quiet for a few minutes. Naruto didn't say anything, he just waited for me to start. Finally I knew what to say... well, kinda.

"I don't know what to say..." I said, clearing my throat a bit. I still had that weak, hoarse voice. "To my family... it's all about beauty. My parents design clothes... we're very rich because of that."

Naruto nodded.

"Yeah... my older brother has a lot of clothes from your folks."

I nodded.

"Yeah, I've noticed. But I... I hate it."

I had no idea what I was saying. Every word shocked me, but it was all true. As scary as it was... but Naruto had once again made me do something no one else could've.

"You hate it?" Naruto looked at me. I nodded slowly.

"Yes. I really hate it. You have no idea what it's like to be the son of fashion." I almost spat out the words. "It's always been about beauty, and if someone isn't beautiful enough..." I didn't end the sentence. I hoped Naruto would get the point; Not being pretty enough is not good.

"Sasuke...?" Naruto bit his lip and looked away. "Who... who's Itachi?"

I choked and started coughing. He... he knew about Itachi! How? How the fuck? Naruto patted my back.

"I'm sorry! I shouldn't have brought that up... sorry! That old lady said something about him and I... Are you okay?" I almost laughed. Naruto sounded just the way I liked... well, except for the panicked part. He sounded caring again. I shook my head at his words.

"N-no... I was just a bit surprised." I cleared my throat again. I braced myself... it had been so long since I talked about him. Then I finally spoke. "Itachi is my older brother." I kinda whispered the sentence, but they cut my ears as if I had screamed them out loud. Naruto stared at me.

"Oh..."

"Yeah."

More silence. The room was almost totally dark now, so Naruto turned the bed lamp on. I fought a silent war inside my head. Should I tell him about Itachi? It would make things easier.

"Itachi is five years older than me*. The oldest son in our family."

Stop talking! Don't tell him... you swore you wouldn't tell anyone!

I ignored my own screaming thoughts. This was important. It was important that I told Naruto. He had to know. Naruto looked at me with concern... obviously my upset feeling made themselves known on the outside, even though I tried to hide them. I gave up my attempts to hide my emotions and just concentrated on telling the story.

"The first years of my life, I admired him more than anyone. He was my hero, because he was the only one who really cared for me. He cared for me a lot more than my parents. And also... he was stunningly beautiful." I smiled as the memories came flooding back. "So pretty... and his beauty seemed to increase every day. Soon, he started to work as a model for my father. A great success, everyone liked him. To put it short, Itachi was my parents’ biggest pride. I could never compete with him." I swallowed... now for the hard part.

Naruto nudged my foot again, as if to offer me a bit of his strength.

"I actually remember... when I was five or six, I asked my mother 'am I pretty?' Being my mother and all, she kissed my cheek. 'Of course you are, baby. You're very pretty.'" I sighed. Naruto waited. "Then I asked her; 'Am I as pretty as Itachi?'" I scoffed and kept silent for a few seconds. It was painful to say it aloud. "She said, 'No, sweety, not yet. Maybe some day you will be, but not yet.'"

Naruto stared at me.

"She said that to you?" The fact that I could actually feel the anger he tried to suppress seeping out of him, it filled me with a strange warmth. I nodded.

"Yes. She was just being honest. Itachi was very beautiful, and I was a lot younger than him. But as you surely understand, ever since I was little, beauty meant everything to me. I did everything I could to become prettier. I wanted to hear from my mother that I was pretty. For some reason I didn't like it when other people called me pretty. The girls at school for example. It annoyed me how they kept nagging about my good looks when all my mom could say was 'maybe some day you'll look as good as Itachi.'" I sighed and tried to catch my breath a bit, since the last words were kinda spat out. I was getting angry again.

Chill out Sasuke... calm down. I took a deep breath and cleared my throat before continuing.

"But it seemed as though I would never surpass him... no matter what I did to look good, he always looked better. At some point I almost started to hate him for it."

It started to rain. The water drummed on my window.

"But I could never truly hate him, he was, after all, the only one to really care. My mom's almost kind words and hugs meant little, since they only covered the fact that she was always too busy to truly love me."

"Sasuke..." Naruto said, but I shook my head.

"Please don't interrupt," I murmured. "It's hard for me as it is."

He nodded.

"But then, one day when I was ten, and he was fifteen... it all blew." I scoffed dryly. "It was the day that my parents announced that they had found a girl for Itachi."

"What?" Naruto whispered. "You mean like an arranged marriage?" I nodded.

"Yeah, exactly. They wanted Itachi to marry a girl from another rich family to maintain rich-ness." I know I sounded sarcastic, but I did little to stop it. "They wanted him to marry a girl he barely knew, and I don't think he liked her very much... actually, now that I think about it, she was kinda like Sakura."

Naruto nodded with an understanding frown.

"Sounds painful," he scoffed. I snorted.

"Hell yeah," I said. "And Itachi didn't like it at all. But I was the first one to truly find out why."

"Oh?"

"Yeah... that day he had a small fight with my dad. He tried to convince our parents not to force him into it. But he didn't want to say why. I heard it all, since I was right outside the door."

Naruto laughed a little. I smiled too.

"Well, it was the only way to find out anything." I said. "Itachi was devastated when he returned to his room. You've seen our mansion right? It takes almost ten minutes to walk from my parent’s bedroom to get to his."

Naruto made a whistling sound.

"Any way... I followed him back to his room after his fight with dad, since I wanted to comfort him. I didn't want him to marry someone he didn't love. He looked so sad. But... when I finally arrived to his room, he wasn't alone."


~Flashback~

"... doesn't listen to me at all! I don't know what to do!"

Itachi's upset voice sounded a bit muffled, but as I finally got close enough to the door I could hear every word. The door wasn't quite closed. I swallowed nervously, feeling like a really bad boy, since I should've been in my bed several hours ago. If someone found me, I would be in trouble. It was dark everywhere, but some light shone from Itachi's room, so I wasn't too scared of the dark. But I was a bit baffled... Itachi was supposed to be alone, so who was he talking to?

"I know... I know," someone said soothingly. It sounded like a guy... probably Itachi's age. I frowned. What was going on? It was getting even weirder, because the talking stopped, and for a few minutes all that was heard was silence and strange smacking sounds. I finally gathered my courage and looked into Itachi's room through the narrow opening. I almost gasped at what I saw.

Itachi was sitting on his large bed, his long dark hair flowing freely over his shoulders and face. Someone with incredibly red hair was sitting on his knees in front of him... his face seemed to be very close to Itachi's face... they were kissing.

I was young, but I knew exactly what a kiss was. Itachi let out a moan and gripped the redhead's shirt to pull him closer. This caused the other boy to lean into Itachi, and suddenly Itachi was basically laying on his bed, the other boy hovering above him. Itachi's arms embraced the unfamiliar guy's neck, and I stared wide-eyed as the other boy started to touch Itachi's sides... sliding his hands inside of Itachi's shirt, drawing another one of those strange moans out of my brother by doing so. I've never seen Itachi look so blissful before.

"Itachi..." the boy murmured.

I was puzzled. No, I was shocked! Itachi was kissing another boy! A boy! Hadn't mom and dad always said that it was wrong? It was bad and ugly... It certainly didn't make sense! Itachi was the most beautiful person I knew... how could he do something so ugly? Although... the scene didn't seem very ugly to me. It was just two people kissing. My eyes widened in realization; I had figured out why Itachi didn't want to marry that girl. He was already in love.

As I stared at the scene, I started to realize something else, something that scared me. A strange, stirring heat started to gather in between my legs. I felt oddly warm, and my body tingled. My first taste of arousal burned though my body and made me almost numb as I continued to stare at the scene. I swallowed and simply could not take my eyes of it. The boy started to grind his hips into Itachi's. Somehow, that made my breath quicken and soon, I almost panted. And it felt so good...

Then it was all ruined.

"Sasuke? What are you doing here? You're suppose to be in bed." My mother stopped speaking as she also cast a glimpse inside my brother's room. I turned my head and stared at her face. Cold shock shone in her eyes, and the expression scared me. She looked nearly inhuman, perhaps because it was so unusual for her to hold an expression like that. Her hand gripped my shoulder until I hissed with pain. Her facial expression then changed, and became angry. So angry... I've never seen her like that. That pleasant, warm feeling left my body and left nothing but cold fear in my system.

Suddenly she released my shoulder and opened Itachi's door completely. She rushed to the bed and pushed the boy off of Itachi. Itachi gasped and looked somewhat terrified.

"Mom-" Itachi never had the chance to finish his sentence, because mom had already given him such a hard slap, his mouth bled. I stood by the door... so shocked I couldn't even cry.

"What are you doing?!" She screamed. "We've talked about this! It's wrong! Do you hear that?" She said and threw a disgusted glance at the boy that Itachi obviously loved. I never got a good look at his face, because mom stood in the way. I remember that he had dark eyes and a very uncaring expression on his face.

Just when I thought it wasn't going to get worse, it did.

"What's going on in here?"

My whole body froze at the sound of my father's voice right behind my back. I turned my head to look at him. He looked just as shocked as mom when she saw Itachi kiss that guy. I turned my gaze to the room again. Itachi sat on the bed, without his shirt, since it was thrown onto the floor. His hair was ruffled and he looked absolutely petrified. My father walked slowly into the room.

"I'm gonna ask again. What. Is. Going. On?" He said with a dangerously low voice. I didn't dare speak, let alone move. I just stood there and witnessed it all. Mom shot him an angry look.

"I told you, you should've talked to him about it, you saw all the signs! And now look. Look! Our son is a fucking fruitcake!" My mother spat and stomped her foot on the floor. My father stared at Itachi.

"Is that true?" He said calmly. It made me feel nauseous. Itachi stared at him with big, scared eyes. He visibly swallowed before he answered.

"Y-yes..." It came out as a whisper, but we all heard. The red-haired guy tried to walk up to Itachi, but he didn't even get up from the floor before dad pushed him back down. Itachi gasped and made an attempt to get up from the bed.

"Gaa-"

"Shut your hole!" Dad shouted and blocked Itachi's way. "I want an explanation!" Itachi gave dad a cold glare, still shining with fear, but the anger was taking over.

"I'm in love with him, okay?" he hissed angrily. I gasped at his words. "I don't wanna marry Risa, she's so annoying! And she's not in love with me either." Itachi scoffed and stared angrily at my father. Silence filled the room. Itachi broke it.

"Your son is a fag, dad. What're you gonna do about it?" Then he smirked... yes, smirked to my dad. "You know what? This family is so fucked up... I've lost all hope for it." I swear I saw the vein in my dad's temple grow and pulsate with fury. I silently begged Itachi not to anger him any more. But I guess it was already too late. I threw a worried glance at dad's back.

"Dad..." I whispered. He didn't move.

"Take Sasuke out of here." He suddenly said to my mom who nodded and pushed me out of the room and closed the door behind us. She looked seriously at me.

"Sasuke," she said. "Don't ever do what Itachi just did. Do you hear that?" She gripped my shoulders and looked into my eyes. I nodded, too scared to do anything else. Then I heard it.

Itachi's pained cry, over and over again, accompanied by loud slapping sounds. That guy shouted something that sounded like 'Stop it, you bastard!' Another loud slap was heard. I covered my ears as the tears streamed down my cheeks.

Stop it, stop it, stop it, please stop it!

My mom dragged me out of there, forcing me to go to bed. As I laid in my bed, which by the way was entirely too big for a ten year-old, I tried to suppress the shock waves that shook my body so badly I almost wanted to throw up. Mom sat down by my side. She tried to stroke my cheek, but I flinched away from her cold fingers.

"Sasuke, look at me," she said. I hated her at that moment. She had hit Itachi. She had bruised his perfect face. "Itachi has done something very wrong. Do you understand? Daddy has to punish him, because what Itachi just did is something very wrong, sick and disgusting. A boy is not supposed to fall in love with another boy, okay? It's just wrong. You know that, right? Sasuke?"

Almost numb, I heard her voice echo in my ears as the tears slowly dried on my cheeks. I didn't respond, and I didn't want to. I wanted to shut her voice out of my ears. That's when I realized that my parents were bad people. And that beauty wasn't everything. It wasn't going to make them love me more. I thought they loved Itachi more than me, because he was so stunningly gorgeous, and that's why I also wanted to look good. For them to love me, but look what they did to him.. just because he fell in love with the wrong person. It was simply sickening.

She kissed my stained cheek and left me alone in grief and darkness.

Somehow, my young mind understood my own situation almost too clearly. I had enjoyed myself, while staring at my brother's making-out session. I had enjoyed watching two males kiss. And I knew that I had enjoyed it in a way that was... wrong. I remembered with disgust how nice it had felt... how strange my ochin-chin* had felt. I shook and curled into a small ball.

I disgusted myself. I was so disgusted by my own body, because it enjoyed watching the very thing my mother detested with all her heart. I was the same as Itachi, but since he was wrong... that meant I was wrong too! My god, that thought scared me half to death. What would mom and dad say?

I'll never let any one see my body. I'll never let anyone touch me. I'll never fall in love with another guy. Never!

The night haunted me with nightmares containing Itachi's pained screams.

The next morning I rushed to my brother's room, desperately wanting to take care of his wounds that our father, without a doubt had caused the previous night, but he wasn't in his room. I slowly walked into his big room. Everything looked messy. Itachi's bed was ruffled, and I bit my lip as I saw small, red spots on the sheets. Blood.

I rushed to the kitchen, but he wasn't there either. I looked everywhere, but still no Itachi. Panic started to make itself known. Itachi, my biggest comfort and safety... was gone.

I finally gathered the courage to ask my mother.

"Kaa-sama?" I said softly. She turned to face me, and made a poor attempt to smile. It looked even more fake than usual. "Where's nii-san?" I asked. She flinched a bit, then frowned. No answer. I asked again. "Mother, where is Itachi?" I said it with more force. I was desperate. She finally answered. Her voice was cold and hard.

"Who's Itachi?"

~End of flashback~


Naruto stared at me with huge eyes. Disbelief shone in them.

"Oh gods..." I whispered. "Sasuke..."

I nodded stiffly and swallowed.

"I haven't seen him since then, or his boyfriend. I looked for them every day for almost two months before I realized that he had really disappeared. I don't know where he is, and he hasn't tried to contact me. Sometimes I'm almost certain that father... maybe even went as far ki-"

"No!" Naruto grabbed my shoulders and forced me to bury my face into his chest. "Don't say that," He said, while stroking my hair. I could feel my eyes grow warmer. I melted into the embrace.

"But what if it's true?" I whispered. "What if Itachi's dead?" Naruto didn't say anything, he just continued to stroke my neck, giving my head occasional kisses. I sighed tiredly and nuzzled Naruto's warm body.

"Any way... that's the story. After the incident with Itachi I swore to myself I would never fall in love with a boy. I would never do what he did. I don't know what my parents would do. Sure, Itachi was their first son, and they had a lot of expectations for him... Of course he would be punished for betraying the family. But if I, the 'replacement' son and their last chance, also turned out to be... g-gay," it took me some willpower to get to the word out of my mouth. "The punishment may be even worse. I've loathed my parents every day, since that night. That's why I live here on my own. The only real contact I keep to my family is via Mikoto, our maid. She comes here to check up on me once in a while."

Naruto still didn't say a word.

"So... after the... thing we did at the cinema I was... a bit shocked. I-I haven't really thought about the whole gay-thing. When I'm with you... I feel so happy. But after that it just became really clear. And I don't think I was ready."

"I'm sorry." Naruto looked away and I sighed as he reentered his serious state.

"Don't be. You made me realize all of this. I should be thanking you." I murmured. He tensed under my touch.

"Sasuke... do you want to have a relationship with me?" He sounded... almost scared. I sighed and released myself from his warm embrace.

"I don't know," I whispered miserably. "I'm in love with you, Naruto. But there's something inside of me that says it's wrong!" I clenched my jaw to keep myself from crying. Damn my fucking mother! It was all her fault.

Before I knew it, Naruto had already knocked me onto my back, and was now straddling me. I stared at him, and blushed like mad as he slowly, oh-so slowly started to roll his hips over mine.
It felt ungodly good. I could already feel myself harden. Naruto leaned down. His face was mere inches from mine.

"Sasuke, I love you." His breath on my cheek made me shudder in delight. "Is this really wrong?" He covered my lips with his own and slowly started to knead them, wanting me to respond. And I simply couldn't resist that soft, perfect set of lips. I moaned and gripped his shirt to pull him closer. A whole weekend I had dreamed over and over again of his lips on mine, his body pressing into me and his hands caressing my body. How many times that weekend had I had the urge to touch myself to his image? Every touch his hands gave me made my body all the more hot.

"If this is so wrong... then let's be wrong together," he whispered between our kisses, and I swear I could feel some kind of wetness in the corner of my eye at his soft words. They suddenly made so much sense.

I broke the heavenly kiss after a few minutes, already panting heavily.

"Naruto... I'm sick, you'll catch my cold," I murmured, trying not to sound too damn dazed. He stroked the sides of my face and played with my hair a bit.

"I don't really care. If I get sick, you'll just have to take care of me, right?" He grinned and made me snort.

"Shut up, dobe."

I gasped as his hips started to grind into mine, making me harden even more. He sucked on my neck... and it felt so good. But... then that darn panic came searing back.

"Naruto, stop..." He didn't stop. My panic increased. "Stop it!" I pushed him away and glared at him. He looked surprised and ashamed. He sat back and rubbed the back of his head.

"S-sorry... I just..." He didn't finish his sentence. Instead he stared at his knees, seemingly very ashamed of himself.

I sighed and pulled him into an embrace, wanting to sooth him as much as possible.

"Naruto... Please understand. This kind of relationship has been tabu all my life! I'm simply not ready for... that." I said, looking away in embarrassment. I never would've pictured myself having that kind of discussion... let alone with a guy! How gay...

"You saw what happened at the cinema..." I mumbled and hugged him closer. "I don't want to be afraid of your touch. You understand?" He scooted back a bit to be able to look me in the eyes. I gave him a weak smile. "I want to be able to do this," I said and leaned in to capture his lips in a soft kiss, which he returned with a content purr.

For a few blissful minutes, we just laid there embracing each other. And it felt so utterly good, being able to just hug without having to do more than that. Naruto let me nuzzle his neck and he smelled just as nice as he always did. Yes, it made me feel very girly, but I was so incredibly tired. I simply didn't care... and I have to admit it feels nice to nuzzle him. Maybe it's the fever talking, but I feel so safe. So... I don't mind it very much any longer. I'm still Uchiha Sasuke, but I suppose... when I'm with Naruto... I could loosen up a bit.

I was on the verge of sleep when Naruto broke the silence.

"Hey, Sasuke... didn't you say you had a girlfriend?" He said, sounding very curious. "Are you cheating on her with me? Naughty." He said the last word with amusement, and I scoffed.

Ha... I almost forgot about her.

"As if," I said. "Well... honestly. I do have a girlfriend. She's the daughter of a very rich man in Kyoto. After the failure with Itachi, my parents were quick to pair me up with a girl instead." I scoffed. "Too bad for them I turned out to be exactly like Itachi. Naruto caressed my neck. I sighed.

"I've met her twice, and we barely know each other. She's even a few months older than me, so I really don't think I'll break her heart by being with you."

Naruto sighed. Then laughed.

"You're such a mystery, you know that?" Though it was meant to sound cocky and teasing, the sentance came out soft and amused. I scoffed with a slight smirk on my lips.

"And you're one to talk?" Naruto shifted under me.

"What do you mean?" He sounded somewhat shocked. I surpressed the urge to laugh.

"I'm talking about you, having more mood-changes than a girl with pms," I said, feeling satisfied when my voice sounded just as cocky and cool as I wanted. I'm still Uchiha Sasuke, Ha!

"What?" Naruto said, sounding absolutely confused, and slightly offended. I sighed.

"Well... think about it. I remember when we were little. You were always walking around with that orange outfit of yours and always smiling... I used to think you were the biggest weirdo in the world."

Naruto gave a small 'hmph!' and I smiled.

"But then, as we entered high school... you started to hide," I said quietly. Remembering with a sting in my heart the dark days of emo-Naruto. "You wore black clothes every day and never talked to anyone unless you had to."

Naruto sighed.

"Because everyone hated me." He said, trying to sound uncaring. I twisted my head to be able to look at him. He was staring at the ceiling. "I'm not really Sarutobi's son, you know. They envied me because of the money... according to them, I didn't deserve them. I was just trash with great luck." Naruto smiled to me. "That's how it was. I dressed in black, because I didn't want to show off. It was the easiest way to stay out of trouble."

I stared at him. I had no idea he had such a dark past. How come I never noticed..? Then again... I was so lost in thoughts about Itachi I never turned my attention elsewhere. God, Im such a prick.

"Oh..." I murmured. "Well... any way, you started to look happy again... in eighth grade." Naruto nodded.

"Shikamaru arrived. D'you remember? He kinda made me realize that I wasn't such a loser as the seniors wanted me to believe. He saved me."
A small tinge of jealousy made itself known in me, but I ignored it.

"And then you got sad again." I sighed. Naruto started to see my point. He gave a short laugh.

"Yeah..." He turned serious. "Dad died."

I wanted to hit myself hard in the head. Oh my god, Sasuke! You're so insensitive! Just keep your mouth shut! I screamed at myself and tried to give myself a glare, but it didn't succeed.

"I'm sorry..." I mumbled and nuzzled his chest in a pathetic attempt to comfort him.

"Nah... s'okay. It's not your fault." It was silent for a while. "I never realized you watched me..." He murmured. I didn't answer. I hadn't realized it either.

"But then you got happy again," I said after a few minutes of silence... adding a slight snort of amusement. Naruto seemed to share my amusement. He laughed again, making my heart skip a beat.

"Yeah... I was returning to my old self. I think I really tried to convince myself that I had a great life, you know? I mean, I had Sakura," I stiffened. "...But then I started to realize that she did little to make me happy. It was all about her. All the time!" Naruto sounded angry, although I don't think he meant to. I looked at him. He looked annoyed. "Now that I think about it... She made me unhappy. She seemed to enjoy showing off... 'Look at me, I'm dating that cool dude who's dad just died! Isn't it awsome?'" Naruto said with a high-pitched voice. "As if Sarutobi's death was something she took pride in."

The last sentance sounded so sad, I regretted every bringing it up. Naruto must have sensed my shame, because he turned to me, and smiled a real, genuine smile.

"But I'm happy now!" He exclaimed and hugged me tight. "'Cos now I'm with you, Sasuke." He whispered in my ear, making me shiver.
His grip loosened, and I looked into his eyes. They looked serious, yet happy. I leaned in and kissed him softly.

"I'm happy too." I murmured and settled once again on his arm, using it as a pillow.

"Good." He said with a content tone. "Will you come to school tomorrow, by the way?"
I yawned.

"Yeah, maybe... if my fever is gone."

"Good, 'cos we have theatre practice tomorrow. Kakashi said we'll have an extra practice tomorrow, even though it's only wednesday, because you were abscent last week."

Shit... theatre. Almost forgot about that.

"We do? Crap." I gave my boyfriend an annoyed look.

'My boyfriend'... It has a nice ring to it.

Naruto nodded sleepily.

"Yeah, I know. He told us today. And it's all your fault." Naruto smirked teasingly and yawned. I smacked his stomach.

"Dobe."

Naruto had closed his eyes, and I noticed his breathing was starting to become slow and regular. I smirked.
"You wanna stay the night?" I asked, sensing his fatigue. And no wonder... it was getting late, and he looked as if he hadn't slept very much lately. Just like me. He opened his eyes and smiled a bit.

"Yes, please."

I settled on his arm.
A few more minutes of silence.

"Naruto?"

"Hm?"

I turned my face up to be able to face him. I gave him a somewhat stern look.

"You... you won't tell anyone about us, right?" Naruto opened his eyes and looked at me. "Not yet. I-I'm not used to this yet, and I don't know what my parents would do if they found out and-" Naruto put a finger on my mouth and nodded.

"Don't worry," he said and kissed my temple. "I'm not quite ready for it either." He said calmly and settled on my pillow. He obviously didn't care to remove his clothes. Not that I minded... (cough).

"Sweet dreams," he whispered and turned the light off. I smiled a bit, although he couldn't see that, because the room was too dark.

"Whatever... You too."

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Next day, theatre class.

Naruto's tea must've been really good, because my fever was completely gone in the morning and soon I found myself, once again, in Kakashi-sensei's classroom.

"Okay everyone!" Kakashi said, seemingly overjoyed to see us. "Today we'll practice scene three and eleven. Sakura, Rose has to be a lot calmer when she speaks to Edward. Last time you looked as if you wanted to kill Naruto." Kakashi waved his finger to Sakua who looked as pissed as the last time I saw her.

Naruto sniggered and smirked at me. I gave him a small smirk back. I tried to act the way I always acted around Naruto, but it was hard... one of the reasons was because I didn't really know how I used to act around him before our relationship began (it's not like I used to walk around thinking about how I acted towards him), and another reason was that whenever I saw him smile, it made me want to smile too.

"Fine," she muttered, probably through clenched teeth due to how stiff it sounded.

Kakashi grinned (I think), and smashed his hands together.

"Grrreat!" He giggled, he was obviously in a very good mood. I looked over at Naruto who gave Kakashi a very suspicious look. "Oh and I have something else to tell you guys today! Next week, a new teacher will come to school to help us out a bit... or should I say, Help Naruto out a bit." Kakashi gripped his own chin and snickered. Naruto swallowed loudly.

"With what?"

Kakashi did a small pirouette and pointed towards a large, white piano in the corner. Naruto stared at it.

"I'm gonna learn how to play the piano?" Naruto squeaked out. I looked at Kakashi who nodded excitedly.

"Yes! Isn't that wonderful? Iruka told me you always wanted to learn how to play an instrument!" He giggled again and patted Naruto on the head. Naruto looked as if he was about to kill the white-haired man.

"Shut up!" He hissed. Kakashi snickered and moved on to me. I coughed a little and cringed... I hate it when Kakashi looks at me, because he looks as if he knows everything. Not as if he thinks that he knows everything, but that he actually knows everything! It's creepy, and since I met him at the cinema, it was even creepier.

"Sasuke... you thought no one was going to find out, were you?" Kakashi said and chuckled darkly. I choked and stared at him. What was he talking about? He couldn't know about that... could he? Holy shit...

"But see, I do know. I've known all along..." Kakashi leaned forward and looked straight into my eyes. "Even though you tried to hide it."

I swallowed hard and looked over at Naruto who looked just as panicked as I felt. Kakashi gripped my arm and pulled me up on my feet. Then he pointed toward another corner in the room. When I saw what he was pointing at, I felt both like crying with relief and screaming with agony.

How the fuck does he know about that?!

Yes... in the corner was a dark brown cello. My cello.

Oh crap...

Yes... I play the cello. Or, I did... but I stopped almost two years ago... I don't understand how Kakashi knows about it. I've never played out in public and I never spoke of it. When Kakashi first told us that James played the cello, I didn't think much about it, I thought it was just a weird coincidence. How naïve of me.

I sighed.

"I don't remember how to play." I looked away, hoping Kakashi would take the hint. He didn't. He waved his hand laughed loudly.

"Nonsense! It's just like riding a bike!" He said and pushed me towards the cello. "Come on! Play us something!"

I growled with anger, and threw the cello a hateful glare. Playing the cello was another one of mom's ideas. She said something about the "elegance of music". In truth, I think she just wanted to show off. Having a son playing the cello is probably really cool in the world of rich adults. I stopped playing when I moved to my apartment in ninth grade and I wasn't planning on playing ever again.

But just as I turned around to give Kakashi one of my coldest glares, I caught Naruto in the corner of my eye instead. He looked curious... then he smiled to me. It felt as if he was silently asking me to play. I sighed.

"Fine..."

Kakashi smashed his hands together (again) and waved his hands for the rest of the class to form a ring. I hated him so much at that moment.

I got a chair, and placed it in the middle. Then I got the cello, and the thin wooden piece to lean the spike on. I picked up the strings and brought it to the cello. Stopped for a few seconds to decide what song to play... the class stared at me. Naruto was biting his lip in anticipation, but as I met his gaze he smiled a bright smile. I smiled back (only a little) and started to play.

The first tone was long, and went waving in the end. I closed my eyes to focus. The following tones were quick and teasing... pretty soon, I wasn't even thinking about how to play. The song flooded in my mind as I continued to play the song. Still with eyes closed I started to play faster, and more aggressive. Teasing my fingers I skipped the chords and started to play single tones, Bach... Mozart... I kinda mixed some of my favorites together. I could feel myself frown with concentration, and I knew I was going to be extremely embarrassed about it later on, but I couldn't help it... I had missed it so much!

Finally, I played the last tones and ended the song with a content sigh. I opened my eyes, and immediately turned my face away. Trying to hide my blush as the class stared wide-eyed at me.

"Amazing..."

"I never would've guessed..."

"That's so like him!"

Kakashi stood up and walked to me. I quickly put the cello down and stood up too, trying to get away before Kakashi could get to me. I didn't succeed as usual and soon felt a tight grip on my shoulder as Kakashi prevented me to escape.

"That was fabulous! You're very talented, Sasuke-kun!" Kakashi grinned and patted my back quite violently. I hissed and rolled my eyes.

"It's nothing, really..." I murmured but quickly shut up as Naruto grinned to me. I cursed as I felt my own cheeks go warm. Damn it...

Kakashi sniggered.

"Well, that was excellent. Now all we have to do is to teach Naruto how to play the piano, and we'll have a great show!" Kakashi nodded at his own words. The class nodded as well.

I sighed with relief as Kakashi finally let go of my shoulder and took a seat next to Naruto again, not too close though. Even though I wanted to...

"Okay everyone, let's start with scene three. The scene where Edward and James kiss for the first time, remember? Edward turns up at the orchestra rehearsal, and trips. James catches him and... well you get the point. Okay, action!"

Kakashi screamed and sat down on a chair. The rest of us took our places in the middle of the room. I quickly read though the script and tried to memorize it. Shikamaru (playing Albert, remember?) cleared his throat and started.

"'Everyone, I am to announce that we will have a new student here today. He plays the piano, and I have been told that he is very skillful. Let us all welcome him!'" Albert said and smiled. I gotta say, even though I know he was in character, it was odd seeing him smile like that. I watched in the corner of my eye as Simon (Neji) kinda lowered his gaze... perhaps to hide a blush?

Okay... I'm James! James... I play the cello, I live in England...

I finally got into character and nodded to my teacher as he smiled at us. Someone came into the room. I looked over and saw... Naruto... No it's Edward! Edward! I almost panicked and fell out of character, but quickly entered James again and looked curiously at the new boy.

"'Good day, my name is Edward.'" The boy said and smiled politely. He looked good... blond hair and deep, blue eyes... Naruto... NO Edward!! I cleared my throat and smiled a bit at the new boy.

As he made his way over to his seat by the piano, he suddenly seemed to trip over something invisible, and before I knew it, he was in my lap, kissing me feverishly. Well... he covered my lips with his own. But same shit different names! For about two seconds I was incredibly tempted to kiss him back, to suckle on his lips and make him moan.... but I remembered who I was in the last second and pushed him off of me.

"'What are you doing?!'" I hissed and wiped my lip with a glare. The boy stood up and glared back... his cheeks were a bit pink.

"'I am very sorry. I did not mean to anger you.'" He snorted a bit and went passed me to the piano. I glared after him and scoffed. With a small huff I turned my back to him and stared at my cello, seemingly very interested in it. I pouted slightly as I removed invisiable dust from my precious instrument.

Kakashi suddenly smashed his hands again (his own personal way of saying 'Cut!').

"Okay, that was good, now let's do it again, but Naruto, I want you to show more shock when you accidentally kiss James. This time you looked as if you enjoyed it a bit too much." Kakashi said and grinned.

Was it just me, or did Kakashi just wink at Naruto. I looked at Naruto who once again looked as if he wanted to kill Kakashi. Naruto met my gaze and smiled as if nothing had happened. I shook my head and sighed.

Oh well...

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Shikamaru's p.o.v.

So... good...

"Neji... Oh fuck, Neji!" I gasped and reached behind me to grip his hair.

"Spread your legs wider," he panted and licked my neck. I shuddered and obeyed without thinking about it. I spread my legs as wide as I could and moaned as his hands worked faster around my erection.

I had followed Neji home again, and as usual we ended up in his bed, naked. Not that I complained... it felt ungodly good.

"It feels so good..." I murmured and jerked my hips forward. Neji was sitting behind me, his arms around my waist... his hands on my twitching member. He was panting as he grinded his own hardness into my back.

A few more strokes and I suddenly I gasped with pleasure and spilled myself onto his bed. His hand pumped me for several seconds, to make my orgasm last. I whimpered as he bit my shoulder. A warm liquid splattered on my back and I sighed contently as he orgasmed. It felt good. So good.

But still...

A few minutes later Neji stepped out of the shower, with a white towel around his waist. He smirked at me, and made me blush.

He was gorgeous. His lean hips and his perfect chest. His long, wet hair stuck to his back and made me almost drool... yes, Neji Hyuga was perfect in every way possible.

And still...

I stared at him as he dressed in his pajamas, which was only a pair of large trousers... showing a generous amount of his body. I sat on the edge of his bed, already dressed in my pajamas. I averted my gaze elsewhere and swallowed nervously. I hated that feeling... that worried, sickening feeling. I hadn't been able to think about anything else during the past week. It hurt to think about it, so I didn't understand why I couldn't stop...

But it was about what we were doing. And why we were doing it... see, every time we spend time together, we always end up in bed. Neji obviously being the seme, he has some kind of tricks to get me all flustered and quivering. At first, I loved that! It felt so good, I never wanted it to change... but now I was getting worried.

If my suspicions were true, I didn't know if I would've been able to handle it.

"Um... Neji?" I said quietly. He turned to me with a small smile.

"Yeah?" He sat down beside me. Kissed my cheek. Smelled my hair... I shut my eyes. He only made it more difficult!

"Do you... lo-love me?"

Silence. Except from the loud thumping in my ears, the room was dead silent. I slowly opened my eyes. Feeling somewhat dead.

"What?" His voice was quiet. "What are you talking about?" He stood up from the bed and smiled nervously. "I-I... well... I mean, I'm only eighteen, Shika!" He tried to make it sound like a joke. I looked up slowly. My eyes started to feel warm. I didn't want to hear it... I hate being a genius! If I hadn't seen those stupid signs and made my own clever conclusions, I would never have put myself in this awful situation! Neji stared at me and rubbed the back of his head with that weird, nervous smile again.

"I mean... like, what, do you love me?" He scoffed, once again trying to make it sound like a fucking joke. He wanted me to say "Haha, just kidding! We're just fuck-buddies, right?"

I just stared at him, not answering. I know how dead my gaze must've looked, but that's exactly how I felt... dead, and cold. He didn't love me. I was right. For once in my life... I wanted to be wrong!

Neji's nervous smile disappeared. He stared at me.

"...Oh." He lowered his gaze.

I swallowed to make the lump in my throat disappear.

"I should go." I stood up and left the room. Walking faster and faster, until I finally ran, quickly grabbing my coat before rushing out of the large Hyuga-mansion. The air was cold, and the sky was already dark. I was only dressed in my pajamas, so I became cold fast, but I couldn't care less. As soon as I got out of the house, I almost choked on my own sobs. Running even faster I soon got out on the streets and shakily picked up my cell phone from my coat. Thank god I left the phone there.

I dialed my mother.

"Mom, could you please come pick me up," I said, trying to sound normal. My vision was blurry due to the tears.

"Why dear, is something the matter? I thought you said you were going to sleep at a friends house tonight?"

I cleared my throat.

"Yes, but he got sick so... um.. I... Please, just come pick me up!" The last words sounded shaky, even to me. I could only hope that mom wouldn't hear it.

"Alright then, where are you?"

"By the Hyuga Mansion. You know where that is right?"

"Yes, I'll be right there." A small click was heard and I sighed sadly. It was going to be hard to explain the lack of actual clothes... I was freezing my legs off, but I would rather lose my legs than going back to Neji's room.

Warm drops of water soaked my cheeks, but I didn't sob any more. My head felt big and swollen. It started to hurt. I wiped my cheeks, but the tears kept on running so I let them fall freely for a few minutes. It hurt so much. My suspicions were true.

It was all sex to Neji. Nothing more.

From the first moment I saw Neji Hyuga, I thought he was beautiful. I slowly started to fall in love with him, which basically means that I've been in love with him for almost a year. But Neji... to him, I was nothing more than a boy-toy. It hurt so much. I never imagined it would feel like that. My heartbeats hurt as they seemed irregular and faster than usual. My head hurt and I was becoming dizzy. My eyes stung from the salty tears. Everything just sucked.

I sighed unhappily and quickly wiped my tears away as I saw my mom's car heading towards me. I was worried that she would ask a lot of questions, because she usually does that... but...

She didn't ask why my eyes were so red, and she didn't ask why I was clad only in my pajamas. She didn't ask why I silently started to sob on the way home.

She didn't say anything. I was extremely grateful.

I went straight to bed as quickly as possible after thanking my mom for the ride and buried my burning face in the pillow. I wanted Neji to love me! To love only me! I hated feeling like that... like some item of his!

I sighed and settled in my bed as sleep started to creep into my mind.

Going to school tomorrow is gonna suck big time.


TBC
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Yes, I know I'm cruel. Naruto and Sasuke are (almost) back in fluffville, but now Neji and Shikamaru has issues... I'm sorry for being so angsty all of a sudden, but I just had to write more about the two of them. NejiShikamaru is my favorite couple after NaruSasu, so... ^^ And don't worry, the next chapter will be in Naruto's p.o.v. The Shikamaru p.o.v. was just a one-time-thing. Although Neji and Shikamaru will be in focus during the next chapter, it will still be in Naru's p.o.v. Ok? ^^

I hope you all enjoyed. Remember; I like reviews. (except from flames - which will be deleted, since they make me incredibly miserable.) *chu*

(*In the manga, Itachi is really 6-7 years older than Sasuke. But not in my story! ^^ *snickers*)