Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ To be, or not to be... In love. ❯ Chapter eight. ( Chapter 8 )

I don't own Naruto. At all. Okay? The fantastic manga belongs solemnly to Kishimoto-sama.

Warnings; The usual stuff, yaoi, fluff, clichés and possibly foul language.

Okay, it seems I make at least one mistake in every fricken' chapter! Apparently, Sasuke is allergic to apples! -_- Let's pretend that Sasuke's outgrown his allergy in this fic, okay? Thanks.
(Haha, omg you guys! Everyone got so angry with me for that cruel cliffhanger. I'm sorry, I really am! But the chapter was already so long, and I was so tired. Gomen ne?)

And I noticed that the word disappeared when I tried to tell you where to listen to the songs I presented in the last chapter. I think it's because I'm not allowed to advertise another website. But if I write "You tube", I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about. ^^

(Mediaminer-readers! Attention please! I’m not sure what happened, but if anyone knows why the text got so fat in the previous chapter, please tell me. It wasn’t supposed to be like that. I hope it was okay to read any way.)

Oh, and I would like to announce that I go back to school tomorrow (I become a junior/second-year) and my lovely beta; Ender_kb is going to back to college, therefore, the updates might be a little slower than usual. (Since the teachers practically bury us in homework.) But just a little slower. I'll work hard, okay? So don't quit reading this story! I will finish it, no matter what! (YOSHI!!)

Here it is; chapter eight.
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Sasuke's p.o.v.

It was... unreal. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I refused to believe them. But never the less, the man in front of me was indeed Itachi, staring straight at me with those black eyes I remember so well. He didn't move. Neither did I. I heard some noise in the background and that red-haired guy, Gaara, speak to Naruto.

"I think we’d better leave."

Since Naruto didn't say anything, I take it he just nodded. They left the room and closed the door. A part of me desperately wanted Naruto to stay with me, but another part told me that I needed to be alone with my brother, who I hadn't seen in seven years. He had grown, from being a gorgeous teen to a handsome, mature adult. He was taller and his shoulders were broader than I remembered. His hair looked a bit longer too.

Itachi took a step towards me and I almost had the urge to back away from him. It was all so very confusing. I had spent the last several years thinking this man was dead!

"Sasuke" he murmured. "Outoto*..."

I swallowed and forced myself to answer.

"Yes," my voice was strangely hoarse. "Aniki*..."

Then Itachi gave some kind of odd, sniffing sound and in a mere two steps he was standing right in front of me. He grabbed my shoulders and for one terrified second, I almost thought he was going to hit me. But instead he pulled me close. He buried me tightly into his black shirt and I could feel his hand stroke the back of my head. His arms trembled.

"Sasuke, Sasuke!" He whispered over and over again, all the while fondling my pointy, black strands. I didn't respond to the hug, but merely stared into my brother's fabric covered chest. I could feel his rhythmic heartbeats against my forehead. He was really alive. I swallowed. Confused, hurt thoughts flooded my mind.

Why is he back? Where did he go? Why hasn't he tried to contact me? He abandoned me! Why did he leave me? Was his boyfriend more important than me? And why had he returned? Didn't he know I was going to be here? He seemed so shocked to find me here. If he had known I was going to be here, would he have bothered to come back?

The angry thoughts filled my head with buzzing, aggressive sounds and they wouldn't shut up, no matter how much I tried to shoo them away. I knew I should've been so incredibly thrilled at the sight of my long lost brother, but still I could only feel anger towards him. It was like a big, black ball of anger filled my chest and almost made me feel sick.

"Bastard," I finally whispered and Itachi tensed. "You fucking bastard."

Itachi backed away and stared at me with huge eyes. They were somewhat desperate. I gave him a glare; a panicked, slightly maniac glare with my eyes wide open as fat tears trickled from them over my pale cheeks. My body started to shake.

"Where the hell have you been?!" I hissed through gritted teeth. My tightly clenched fists started to hurt as my nails dug into my palms. Itachi swallowed visibly. With a loud huff and a frustrated sob I wiped the tears away from my cheeks and took a step closer to him.

"Do you know how long I looked for you after you left?!" I growled and slowly, almost subconsciously lifted my fist and gave his chest a hard punch. It seemed to work as a trigger for me, since I continued to strike his chest as hard as I possibly could while sobbing out angry words of betrayal to my older brother.

"Bastard... left me... alone... bastard... never contacted me..!" Until I was completely exhausted, I kept hitting him, and then I leaned my sweaty forehead against his chest. My sore fists clutched his shirt and I gave a few pathetic whimpers. "I should hate you, you idiot!" I sniffled and didn't care if my tears soaked his damn shirt. He deserved it.

"Sasuke, I'm sorry." Itachi sounded so sad that I immediately regretted hitting him so hard. He hadn't tried to make me stop either. I sighed tiredly as his hand once again came up to caress my neck.

"I thought you were dead, damnit!" I hissed and buried my flustered face into his somewhat damp chest. I weakly brought my arms around his waist and hugged him as hard as I could. "I missed you, nii-san."

"I missed you too."

I don't know how long we stood like that, in the empty, echoing classroom. Could've been minutes, could've been hours. I have no idea. The only thing I was aware of was how Itachi's scent filled me and how the realization finally hit me; Itachi was alive, and he had come back. The happy daze was interrupted as Itachi's voice rang through the large room.

"Come on, let's go get a cup of coffee. We have some catching up to do."

I nodded and released his waist. I knew my nose was red from the crying and I knew my hair was probably ruffled and messy, but I didn't care very much. No one was around any way. Most students had presumably already gone home. I glanced at my watch and lifted my eyebrows in surprise. It had only been twenty minutes since I first saw Itachi by the door. It had felt longer than that. I picked my bag up and put it on my shoulder. It seemed to weigh more than before and I felt weak and small. I followed Itachi as he opened the door and stepped out of the white classroom.

I sighed with relief to find that both Naruto and Gaara had gone home. I didn't want Naruto to see me in such a pathetic state; hair and clothes ruffled and damp from heavy crying, nose and cheeks rosy red and not to mention my weak, almost feverish state of mind. I felt as if I was coming down with the flu. Itachi glanced around, and when he couldn't spot his boyfriend he picked his cell phone up from his pocket. The phone was a thin, elegant new model. Itachi had obviously no money problems. I glued my eyes to my feet as Itachi called.

"Hi, where are you? Okay. Yeah... yeah... Um, we'll go for a cup of coffee so... yeah. Yup. See you at home. Love you too." Itachi hung up and let the small phone slide into his pocket again. I realized I should give Naruto a ring too. I picked up my own phone, a similar model to Itachi's and dialed my boyfriend. Three rings were heard before a soft 'click'.

"Naruto speaking." His voice made me feel shy.

"...Hi." I murmured, trying not to sound too much 'I-just-cried-my-eyes-out.'

"Sasuke... You okay?" The softness and concern in his voice made my chest swell and almost caused me to start crying again but I kept my manner and cleared my throat.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said hoarsely, "I'm sorry I couldn't come to your place today... I wanted to see your home." Me and Naruto had made up plans for the week; today was the day he would show me his home. I had actually been looking forward to it. Naruto gave a soft laugh.

"Don't worry about that, okay? You can come visit me any day, you know that."

I blushed and smiled before I could stop myself. Having a boyfriend like Naruto really is nice.

"Yeah..." I murmured. "Where are you now?"

Naruto gave a loud sigh and a slight groan. I heard Iruka's voice in the background.

"At home... nii-chan just told me it's my turn to cook," Naruto sounded rather grumpy about it and I couldn't help but to laugh. "Where are you?"

"We're still at school, but we're about to leave. We're going to some café or something, to talk about stuff..." I interrupted myself by swallowing and then sighed. I suddenly missed Naruto and his warm, cozy chest so much. "I'll see you tomorrow, alright?"

"Yeah, of course!" Naruto exclaimed. "And... you know, you're free to call me tonight if you wanna talk," he murmured and I could almost see his rosy cheeks through the phone. "I don't mind if you wake me up."

"Thanks. Maybe I will... Bye bye."

"Bye bye."

I hung up on him after three seconds of staring at the phone in my hand. I sighed heavily, suddenly feeling alone. I looked up to see Itachi smiling at me. I smiled hesitantly in return.

"Was that your girlfriend?" He asked and my eyes widened. How ironic it all felt. I just shook my head with a small smile and continued to walk. Itachi didn't ask me any more questions, and soon we entered the large parking lot outside the school. Itachi had an elegant, dark blue mustang.

The inside smelled like fresh leather and cigarettes. It was actually a nice combination. We still didn't talk to each other, but Itachi smiled and turned the radio on. The car was filled with loud hard rock and I couldn't help but to smile as Itachi started to tap his hand against the steering wheel. He was so different, yet so unbelievingly unchanged.

"Do you like this band, Sasuke?"

It was the song 'So far away' by Crossfade. I loved that song.

I'm so far away
I've been changing, but you'll never see me now
I'm so far away
Now I'm blaming you for everything

I nodded and gave my brother a small smirk.

"I didn't think you were into hard rock, nii-san," I said. "Actually, I can't remember you ever listening to music."

Itachi nodded with a somewhat annoyed look.

"Yeah... I know." The annoyed look on his face didn't go away until several minutes later and I regretted saying something so inconsiderate. Of course, Itachi hadn't had the time for music; Our parents made him work and attend parties all the time. He was their puppet, their biggest success. He never had a choice.

It took us less than ten minutes to get to Café Royal and we took a seat in the darkly lit room. Itachi ordered a cappuccino, while I was satisfied with ice-water, as usual. Eating or dinking anything with sugar makes me feel sick. Itachi gave me a semi-concerned frown, but apparently decided to drop whatever was on his mind.

"So... here we are," he said and took a sip from his hot drink. "Seven years later." I nodded and took a large gulp from my water, feeling relieved as the icy water seemed to cool me down a bit. I sighed and for several seconds, we sat in silence as I stared at the condensation on my glass.

"Why didn't you try to..." my silent words seemed to echo in my head. "...Contact me?" I sounded hurt, and I didn't try to prevent it. That was how I felt. Itachi was staring into his light brown coffee-drink.

"I was afraid."

"Of what?"

Itachi shook his head, obviously not sure himself.

"You.... Sasuke, you were always the most important person to me," Itachi finally said before taking another sip from his cappuccino. "And I knew you were there that night... when our parents discovered me and Gaara. You saw it all, didn't you?"

I nodded and blushed, not sure what his point was.

"I never got the chance to speak to you, and I honestly didn't want to. I was so scared that you agreed with mom and dad. I thought maybe you also... hated people like me. Gays."

The words were extremely strained and I knew that Itachi had to force himself to speak. The muscles above his jaw were tensing and relaxing. He blinked several times and let his black hair fall forward. The image was sad, but still so incredibly amusing! Itachi thought I was a homophobe! I almost felt like laughing.

"I was looking for you after you left. Every day after school," I murmured and gave a silent, amused scoff. "Every morning before going to school I ran to your room to see if you had returned during the night."

"I'm so sorry. I was just... so worried. If you were to hate me, I would probably hate myself too. That's why I didn't want to face you. I didn't want to confirm what I suspected."

More silence, only interrupted by the sound of us drinking our beverages. A soft jazz song was playing in the background. I looked out the window. The sky was getting dark, resembling Itachi's car. Two stars were already shining.

"I felt kinda betrayed," I said and swallowed, suddenly feeling nervous. "I thought you had abandoned me... I thought that your boyfriend was more important to you than I was."

Itachi was already shaking his head before I had finished the sentence.

"That's not true. Sure, I abandoned you, but only because of my own cowardice. You've always been the most important person in my life, outoto. You still are, only now you're kinda sharing the spot with Gaara..." he smiled shyly and averted his gaze to his now empty cup. "He saved me from... everything. And I saved him. That's why we love each other so much... I understand if it's difficult for you to understand."

I laughed softly. Itachi perked his head up and looked at me with curious eyes.

"Nii-san... you remember that blonde guy? Gaara's new student?" Itachi nodded, still looking confused. I blushed and lowered my gaze to the table. "His name is Uzumaki Naruto. He is my boyfriend."

Silence. I refused to look at Itachi. I felt embarrassed, even though I knew I shouldn't feel ashamed. Itachi was openly gay, so why should I be embarrassed? And it felt so good to say it! "He is my boyfriend."

"Really?"

I perked my head up and finally met Itachi's gaze. His eyes were practically sparkling with happiness, and he was grinning. I've never seen Itachi smile like that. I blushed even more, smiled and nodded. Itachi gave a happy sound, it sounded kinda like a squealing laugh. Very unlike him.

"I'm so happy for you! How long have you been a couple?"

Once again I felt like laughing. Itachi was behaving like a gossiping teenage girl.

"Um... the whole thing started almost five weeks ago, but we kinda... you know, became a real couple last week." I blushed even more as I heard the obvious happiness in my voice. I was certainly not acting like an Uchiha! But then again, neither did Itachi so what the heck. He smiled a very Kakashi-like smile (his eyes looked like two U's) and flipped his hair back with an elegant swooping movement of his hand.

"That's great," he giggled. "I'm not the only gay Uchiha!" He suddenly turned serious. "Do mom and dad know?"

I could feel the blood drain from my face at the question. I stiffly shook my head.

"N-no..." I swallowed hard. "I can't tell them yet," I whispered. Itachi looked at me with concerned eyes as he leaned his chin on his hand.

"Understandable... after seeing what happened to me..." he sounded as if he was suffering. "You were only ten years old..."

The sky was even darker now. I could count eleven stars hanging in it.

"What happened after you left?" I suddenly asked. Catching up was, after all, the main reason we were at the café in the first place. Itachi smiled with a nostalgic look on his face.

"Well... I was only fifteen, and Gaara was fourteen when we were caught, but I should probably tell you that it wasn't our parents who threw me out. I chose to leave."

I stared at my brother as he told me this. He even chose it himself? I always thought dad had forced him to move out.

"Please don't be angry. I just couldn't be their son any more. Gaara had just come into my life and I couldn't... wouldn't give him up." His face held an embarrassed expression. "He was the first one I ever truly loved, except for you. Before I met him, I was just 'The Uchiha-son', or rather 'The Uchiha-puppet'." A heavy sigh. "After we left the Uchiha mansion we didn't really know what to do. I had brought a lot of money with me so we could have easily checked into a hotel, but we were so unsure of what to do, we ended up going to my senpai's apartment. He was the one who helped me realize that I was gay, and he had always supported me."

I smiled and nodded. Itachi looked happy.

"He was in twelfth grade when I was in tenth. You know that I attended high school a year early, right?"

I nodded. I may be a smart kid, but Itachi was even more brilliant than I am now. Presumably because our parents wanted him to study a lot, so that they could brag about his good grades too.

"Any way, my senpai let us stay with him, and also helped Gaara understand his own talent for music. So after a few months we moved to England where senpai's uncle lived. We lived there for several years. Gaara was studying music and I soon got hired at a music store. It was really nice. We got our own apartment and I thought I would never return. Life was so good, but Gaara suddenly wanted to return here. And I missed you so much. But... I have to be honest; I didn't think I was going to see you."

Itachi looked ashamed of himself and once again let his hair fall around his beautiful face.

"I mean, what was I going to say? 'Hi, sorry for being away for seven years, but here I am! Miss me?'" Itachi scoffed and sank a little in his seat. "I'm such a horrible big brother..."

"No!" I gasped before I could stop myself. I stared at him with wide eyes. "You're not! Ever since I was little, you were the only one who really cared about me. You were, are a great brother."

Itachi smiled sadly and looked at me with glistening eyes.

"Ditto. I missed you every day."

"I missed you too."

I felt content now. I didn't need to hear every detail about his wondrous trip to England, and he didn't seem like he needed to tell me anything more either. All I wanted to hear, I realized, was that he had missed me as much as I had missed him. What I had feared, during all of those years of not having a big brother, was probably that Itachi didn't care about me anymore. But he did. He did care about me.

"Hey..." I just thought of something. "Just... if you didn't want to see me, why did you come to school? You must've known I was going there?"

Itachi gave me another one of those sad smiles.

"Well, mostly because I thought they were going to put you into a boarding school since the senpai who helped me when I was young is now a teacher at Sakura Academy. According to my parents, it was all his fault. If he hadn't 'tricked me into believing I was gay', I would’ve been able to marry that Risa-girl and stuff..."

I stared at Itachi.

"He's a teacher here?"

"Yeah... Kakashi-san," Itachi smiled again. "He was my hero when I was your age. Sasuke? What's the matter?"

I must've looked weird, trying to prevent myself from laughing. Somehow I found the situation so amazingly amusing! Kakashi-senpai, the known gay-pervert of the school, was the very man who helped my brother to realize his sexuality? Dear lord...

"N-nothing... he's my drama teacher."

Itachi laughed. A soft, clinging sound. I smiled... it had been so long since I last heard him laugh like that.

"Yeah... he was always very dramatic. The days I spent with him were really amusing."

I nodded and yawned. It was getting late. Itachi seemed to think the same. He glanced at his watch.

"I better take you home," said my brother and stood up. I nodded and yawned again.

The air was cold when we walked to the car and it was a relief to get into the warm interior of Itachi's mustang. After a few minutes of driving I noticed that he was driving towards our parent’s home. I tensed.

"Nii-san, I don't live there any more."

Itachi gave me a look.

"What? Why not?"

I sighed. Didn’t he realize that it was because I hated them for what they had done to him? That I couldn’t spend another minute in the same house as them? After all, I always thought, somewhere in my mind, that they had killed him.

"I convinced them that it would be a lot more convenient if I had a flat of my own, closer to the school."

Itachi nodded.

"Okay then, where do you live?"

I told him the address and he took me there. Just as I was about to get out of the car his hand touched my shoulder.

"Sasuke, here's my phone number," he said and gave me a small piece of paper, a few numbers written on it. I took it and smiled. He gave me a warm smile back. "You can call me whenever you feel like it. If you wanna grab some food or if you just wanna talk, okay? I haven't been here for you in seven years, but that's gonna change from now on, okay?"

I nodded.

"Thank you, nii-san. I'll call you."

I watched as his car drove away and sighed. I was still confused, and no doubt I would think it was all a dream in the morning. But it felt really good to have him back. I went up to my flat and sighed contently as the warm, soothing darkness calmed me down. No sound disturbed my thoughts as I went over the evening again and again. Itachi had missed me. He had left, and he had moved to England, but yes... he had missed me. And now, I could call him if I wanted to 'grab some food' or 'just talk'. It felt nice.

I undressed, took a quick shower and went to bed. It was still pretty early; not even nine yet, so I picked my phone up and put Itachi's number into the contact list.

Then I called Naruto.

"Hello?" He sounded a little out of breath, as if he had hurried to get the phone. I smiled at the sound of his voice.

"It's me..."

"Sasuke!"

Thank the gods... he sounds so happy to hear me. Why is he always so happy to talk to me? I'm not that special.

"Yeah... I said I was gonna call, didn't I?"

Ha! Trying to be all cool, now are we? I mocked myself a little. Naruto laughed softly.

"Well, I wasn't sure if you were gonna ring me, but I'm glad you did! So... how did it go with your brother?"

He was obviously nervous about asking me about Itachi. I suppose even someone as energetic as Naruto can be thoughtful sometimes. I swallowed and leaned back into my soft pillows.

"I was kinda nervous, but it felt good to talk..." As usual; cursing myself for sounding oh-so girly... 'I was kinda nervous'. Bah.

"Yeah, I understand... are you okay?"

I nodded, then realized that he couldn't see the movement of my head it so I gave him a quiet "Yes."

A few seconds of silence. If I concentrated, I could hear his soft breathing. It made me wish I was there... so that I could feel his breath against my cheek...

"That's good. Um... did you like... wanna talk about something?" Naruto asked, sounding a bit semi-confused. Well, I didn't say anything, and I was the one who called him. I wasn't sure myself why I had called him. It felt stupid, since I had nothing to talk about. But then again... somewhere deep inside I knew why I had called him. Spending the night with Itachi had been intense, and certainly interesting... but...

I closed my eyes.

"I just missed you... a little."

Naruto sighed softly. I could hear the soft rustle of fabric, and a squeak in the background, meaning Naruto was probably in his bed.

"I missed you too."

He was being honest. It wasn't just some romantic line he thought up to make me happy. His voice was sad, and longing. He was actually missing me. He wanted me to be with him. It took me a few seconds to acknowledge the smile that graced my face.

"Can I come visit you tomorrow?"

"Yeah! I-I'll clean my room a little, it was actually a good thing you didn't come by today, which I realized when I came home. My room's a total mess."

I laughed a little at his shameful tone.

"Don't worry, I wouldn't have been too surprised," I said, adding amused cockiness and feeling like a real Uchiha again. Naruto gasped with pretend hurt.

"That's mean, Sasu-chan!"

I blushed at the way he addressed me, but chose to ignore it. After all, it made me feel kinda... happy. I suddenly yawned and realized how tired I was.

"I'll see you tomorrow... I'm kinda tired."

"Okay," said Naruto, and he sounded a little disappointed. Somehow it made my whole body feel warm. "I'll have my room neat for you."

"Sounds good... good night."

"Sweet dreams."

I didn't hang up. And I didn't hear the unmistakable little 'click', meaning Naruto hadn't hung up either.

"Why aren't you hanging up?" I asked.

"I could ask you the same. Weren't you tired?"

"Yes... Very tired. I'm hanging up. Good night."

"Good night, Sasuke."

We didn't hang up. For several minutes we sat there, knowing the other hadn't hung up. I don't know why... I was so tired, and my body practically ordered me to fall asleep to digest the evening’s events, but I didn't want to hang up. I didn't want to cut myself from Naruto. Even though we didn't talk, it felt nice... just to know he was there.

"Sasuke? Are you sleeping?"

"...No."

"Why aren't we hanging up?"

"I don't know."

Silence. The warm, safe daze of sleep was dragging me into a semi-sleep and I almost forgot that I hadn't hung up, until Naruto finally spoke.

"Sasuke?"

"Hm?"

"I'm really glad you called me... not only because I love your voice," he sounded embarrassed, but he spoke honest words, "but also because it feels like you trust me, like I'm important to you. It feels nice."

I stared at my dark ceiling. Naruto had thought he wasn't important to me? When I finally spoke, I almost sounded angry. How the hell dare he doubt my feelings for him?!

"Naruto, you are important to me! In case you haven’t noticed; You're my boyfriend. Don't belittle yourself, dobe," I murmured tiredly and added a whispered, "You're one of the most important people in my life."

"... I really miss you." His voice sounded a little thick, almost as if he was on the verge of tears. I think he was yawning. A loud sigh was heard.

"I miss you too. But we should go to sleep. I'll see you tomorrow, Naru-chan," I spoke softly, feeling warm and fuzzy from his words. It felt so nice that I meant so much to him.

"Yeah. See you. Sweet dreams."

"Sweet dreams."

This time we hung up.

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A few days passed. Naruto and I were doing as well as usual, but I was frustrated. We always had very little time to see each other before we had to separate; we figured we couldn’t risk being seen together in school too often, since we were generally supposed to hate each other. And I still hadn't seen his room, because I couldn't risk walking home with him too often, so we decided to wait with the visit to his home. Even though I was looking forward to it, I really didn't want anyone to find out yet. It had been difficult enough to come out in front of Itachi. How the hell was I suppose to tell anyone else?

One day I noticed a small vein above Naruto's forehead; he was annoyed. No doubt because of our Romeo-and-Juliet-relationship. He was probably sick and tired of hiding. Naruto's brave, and his friends are real, which means he should be able to come out pretty soon. He has so much self-esteem. I was sure of it. The only reason we hadn't told anyone was because of me. I felt guilty.

"Naruto?"

"Hm?"

We were finally alone for six precious minutes before history class. In a lonesome corner, where few students ever passed, Naruto was pressing me firmly against the wall. We weren't kissing though. Naruto was just leaning into me, rubbing his cheek against mine. He scooted back a bit at the sound of my voice and let his lips brush my cheek in the process.

"Is there something troubling you? You've seemed a bit off."

Naruto sighed and shook his head.

"Nothing's wrong." His voice was stiff and somewhat forced. My breathing suddenly seemed heavier. Not in the good way either. I was feeling worried. Was Naruto angry with me?

"You sure?"

Naruto nodded and gave a large smile. He kissed my nose as if to say 'end of discussion', but it felt so much like a dismissal the kiss didn't even make me blush. Before I could push the subject further, Naruto released me and glanced at his watch.

"I should go... I promised Shikamaru I would meet him before class. See you later, okay?" A smile and a wave were his final gestures before disappearing around the corner. I swallowed hard and leaned against the wall while trying to calm my racing heart. Naruto had made that up, hadn't he? Did he want to get away from me? He didn't kiss me today. He always kisses me. Why was he acting like this?

I ignored my confused thoughts and started to walk towards the history class.

"Sasuke?" Neji waved his hand in front of my face. "What's the matter with you? You've been staring out the window for the last ten minutes."

I sighed and rubbed my face. The history teacher, Zabuza-sensei, didn't seem to notice our lack of attention as he continued to teach the few students who were actually interested about the history of swords with his usual, angry voice.

"I didn't get a lot of sleep last night."

Neji snickered.

"Because of Naruto perhaps?"

I shook my head no.

"No, I just-" It finally hit me exactly what Neji had implied. I blushed heavily. "NO!"

A few students turned around to stare at me. I scared them off with a glare and turned away from their curious faces with a small 'hmph'. Eventually the lesson continued as usual. Neji nudged my arm.

"Why are you so flustered?" He whispered. "Are you pissed because you didn't get any last night?"

Dear God, when did Neji get such a dirty mouth?! Is sex the only thing on his mind?

"Stop that, you perverted idiot. I'm not pissed at Naruto, and even if I were, it wouldn't be because of something like that. I'm the one who doesn't wanna have sex," it just slipped out of my mouth. I closed my eyes in frustration as I realized that I had just confessed one of the most private things in my life! I'm not really one to talk about sex or even think about it. At all. Neji, on the other hand seemed to be thinking about it twenty-four-seven. I wonder what it's like to date him. I hope Shikamaru is as sex-crazed as Neji, or else their relationship would end with Neji fucking Shikamaru's brains out.

Oh god, now I'M the one with a foul mouth!

"You serious?" Neji stared at me. "Are you telling me you and Naruto haven't... done anything yet?"

I blushed and ignored my best friend. The fact that I gave him advice about love does NOT give him the right to criticize my relationship with Naruto.

"I really don't wanna talk about, okay?"

I turned my back on him in a very demonstrative manner and pretended to read the papers Zabuza-sensei gave us in the beginning of class. After a few minutes of gazing at the papers, I started to glance around in the room. That's when I first realized that Naruto wasn't there!

"Hey... where's Naruto?" I whispered to Neji, hoping he might know. Neji bit his lip and threw our angry-behaving teacher a glance before turning to me again.

"Shikamaru told me that Naruto had asked him to skip class with him. I don't know why though."

Neji gave me a small shrug and turned forward, since Zabuza started to give him angry looks. I was frozen, staring at some spot on the wall.

Naruto had asked Shikamaru to skip class with him? Why? Why hadn't he asked me? At least he could've told me. And why did he lie to me? He said that Shikamaru had asked him to meet him before class started. That wasn't true, was it? Naruto had probably looked for Shikamaru after he left me and asked him to skip. Why did Naruto lie to me? Why didn't Naruto tell me? Why?

The confused feelings weren't just confused any more. They were cold... worried. Scared. It was silly of me to react like that, I know! But how was I supposed to react? Naruto had practically fled from me, made up a stupid excuse and for what? So that he could skip class with Shikamaru? They're not involved, I'm aware of that, because I know how crazy Shikamaru is about Neji, but what about Naruto? Didn’t the fact that Naruto kept from me that he was going to skip class with Shikamaru mean that Naruto didn't want me to know what they were doing? What were they talking about? Maybe Shikamaru was giving Naruto tips on how to break up with me?

I was panicking and swallowed hard. With a trembling arm I raised my hand. Zabuza gave me an angry look.

"Uchiha-kun?"

"I need to go to the bathroom, sir."

"Fine! You have ten minutes!"

Naruto, where are you?

I was frantically looking for my blonde boyfriend. Now, I realize how stupid I was acting. Naruto was just hanging with his friend. He was just skipping a boring class together with his best friend. I should've been alright. I shouldn't have worried. But Naruto had been acting strange the last several days. And he hadn't kissed me when we were alone earlier today. And he lied to me and said that it was Shikamaru who wanted to see him. Not vice versa. And he hadn't told me that he was planning on skipping. Why did he always choose Shikamaru over me?

Naruto, where are you?!

I was just about to give up when I saw strange puffs of smoke outside the window. Quietly I stuck my head out and looked down. Naruto and Shikamaru were sitting on the grass. Shikamaru was smoking and Naruto just sat there. I was just about to announce my presence when Naruto finally spoke.

"The whole sex-thingy is just weird, ya know?"

Sex-thingy? What sex-thingy?

"Have you tried to talk to him about it?" Shikamaru asked. I scooted back and pressed my forehead to the wall under the window as I continued to listen to their conversation. Naruto gave a semi-scoff.

"No... he looks kinda happy these days. I don't wanna ruin it for him."

What are they talking about?!

"But you still think it's a problem?" Shikamaru asked and took an audible drag from his cigarette.

"Well... Yeah! I can't help it... the whole thing is just so weird."

"If this really is troubling you, you should talk to him. Just... you know, make him understand that you don't want to hurt him. But if you don't talk to him about it now, you'll just end up hurting yourself."

"Yeah... guess you're right. But how the hell can I tell him?"

I wasn't listening any more. I slowly stood up from my hiding place and walked away with slow, disorganized steps. Naruto was breaking up with me. For sure. That's what that conversation was about. That's why Naruto had lied to me.

I stopped by the corner where Naruto and I had spent those few minutes before History. I stared at the spot where Naruto had pressed me against the wall. Then I raised my fist and slammed it into the wall as hard as I could, which I almost immediately regretted, since the pain that followed was sort of numbing my hand. I gasped with pain and leaned my back to the wall and sunk to the floor where I pulled my legs under my chin and hid my face. Naruto was breaking up with me. Naruto was breaking up with me. Naruto was-

Was he really? Wasn't I just speaking out of panic? I jumped to conclusions too quickly. Naruto had been wonderful this whole time, and sure he had acted strange, but not in an I'm-gonna-break-up-with-you-soon way.

Okay Sasuke - think! What's troubling Naruto enough for him to act like this?

"The whole sex-thingy is just weird, ya know?"

I snapped my eyes open as the voice of Naruto echoed in my head. Sex-thingy. Sex.

Naruto wanted to have sex. The realization made me swallow hard. Why hadn't I seen it?! The signs were probably there, but I was just too selfish to see them! Of course Naruto would want to have sex, he's a teenager for heaven's sake! When he was dating Sakura... they probably had sex sometimes. Maybe they had sex often. Maybe they had sex every night-

Stop it!

I gripped my hair and sighed frustrated. Naruto wasn't a virgin. I'm not stupid; when a teen like Naruto is dating a girl like Sakura, they're bound to have sex eventually. And they had been dating for two whole years before I came into the picture. Maybe Naruto was used to having sex at least once a week... and I didn't even allow that? Maybe Naruto had been longing for it? And I hadn't noticed anything. I'm such a prick. Just because I... I can't...

If I get intimate with Naruto, I panic. Instantly. Kissing is fine. And hugging... but as soon as Naruto starts touching me too much or if he puts his hand inside my shirt or something... I snap. It really sucks. It's not like I want to panic. I'm a teen too. And I know that sex is nice. Let me explain my situation; Naruto kisses me, Naruto hugs me and I love it. Naruto starts touching me, and I still love it. I get aroused. I want more. My mind wants more. But then Naruto starts touching me in more intimate places, and it's like my body suddenly tells my mind what to do! In other words; I panic against my will.

Because believe me; I want to be able to have sex. I've had my share of wet dreams, even though it's not been very often. I have dreamt about Naruto touching me without having my body panicking.

You can't imagine how frustrating it is to panic, even though I so badly want more of his hand on my body!

That's when I decided. I was going to let Naruto take me. I was going to allow Naruto to touch my body, and I was going to try to touch him. So far Naruto had been the one to touch me. He hadn't had any pleasure at all yet. I was going to give it to him. I had to. I just hoped I wouldn't hate him afterwards.

I rose from the floor and started to walk back to class. Zabuza-sensei was probably angry with me for being away for more than ten minutes.

When is it going to happen? As soon as possible of course. But when exactly? Tonight? No... I need time to prepare myself. Where is it going to happen? His place? No... it seems wrong. I think he lives with his older brother and it's probably best if we're alone. My place would without a doubt be the best location for something like that.

Do I need to buy anything? Condoms? No, we haven't gone that far yet... Right? Maybe I should buy some just in case? I need to clean my apartment. And put clean sheets in my bed.

Maybe I should talk to Itachi?

That's when I noticed that I was already back in Zabuza's classroom and that the teacher was currently yelling at me.

"...Gave you ten minutes, not twenty five! What's your excuse?!"

"Sorry."

"'Sorry.' Sorry!? Oh, I'm gonna give you something to be sorry about!"

"I am very sorry sir!" I quickly blurted and bowed to show respect; Zabuza-sensei is a sucker for respectful students. "I was so touched by your fascinating story about swords I just had to visit the library to look something up."

I gave Zabuza a polite smile and watched with satisfaction as the teacher's features began to soften.

"Very well then... Uchiha-kun, you may retreat to your seat. And no more talking."

I nodded and quickly took my seat next to Neji who gave me a curious look. I gave him a smirk and started pretending to read the papers again. My usual cool manner. I may have seemed cool, calm and collected. But on the inside my heart was beating faster than usual and nervous feelings haunted my mind through the whole lesson.

I was going to let Naruto take me. Period.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Na ruto?"

"Yeah?" Naruto turned to me and smiled tiredly. He looked like he hadn't gotten any sleep at all. I blinked at the sight and quickly grew worried.

"What's the matter with you?" I asked and touched his cheek. Dark shadows decorated the underside of his eyes. He smiled again.

"Haven't slept very well, that's all."

"Oh..." I didn't quite know what to say. "Um... I was just wondering... would you like to come to my place after school today?" I was silently praying that I didn't sound as nervous as I felt. Naruto smiled brightly and nodded.

"Yeah, sure thing!" He hugged me tight and gave me a kiss on the cheek before walking off with Kiba; they had Geography, while I was stuck with extra math. I sighed and watched him walk off with his dog loving friend. Then I took a deep breath and gritted my teeth. Today was the day. It was going to happen. I was determined.

And scared as hell.

There were just so many questions buzzing in my mind! What if he didn't like my body? What if I didn't even manage to turn him on? What if I panicked again? Would I hate him? I didn't want to hate him!

Reluctantly, I pushed the questions away. I had to do it, no matter what. A lot of couples wait for several months before doing it, but if Naruto wanted it, I was going to give it to him. He had waited for me already. I had to do something for him too. And to be honest, I think it was the best thing to do. I was panicking every time we got intimate. Maybe I should just try to get over it. Somehow, this felt like the right way to do it. Naruto was going to help me.

School went on as usual. I was a bit out of it, since images of what might happen kept popping into my mind. The last image involved me chained to the bed while Naruto was whipping me with a string of leather. I coughed and mentally forced the images to go away.

Finally school was over. Now I just had to wait for Naruto who wasn't off until another twenty minutes.

Slowly, I reached for my cell phone and dialed Itachi. A soft song was heard in the phone as I waited for him to pick up.

"Yeah?" A slightly stressed voice said.

"N-nii-san?" Had I called him at a bad time?

"Sasuke? Hi! Wait, let me just... ouch… there! I just had to put the bags into the car. Gaara made me go buy him some eggs and milk," Itachi explained and I could hear the sound of a car door being opened and then closed in the background. "Did you want to talk about something?"

I swallowed and was suddenly at a loss for words. I had no idea what to say; ‘I just wanted to tell you that tonight I'm going to let my boyfriend have his way with me. It's my first time so I'm a bit nervous. What did you and your boyfriend do your first time, nii-chan?’

I almost laughed. But then again... some of the words made sense.

"Nii-san... I'm... I was just wondering..." pathetic murmurings were the only things I managed to create.

"What?" Itachi said, patiently. I sighed.

"H-how long did you and your boyfriend wait before you... um... you know."

"Had sex?"

I'm glad he couldn't see my heavy blush. I hugged the phone tightly in my hand.

"Y-yeah."

Itachi gave a long sigh, as if he were trying to remember.

"I'm not sure... three or four weeks maybe. Why?"

Three or four weeks? Me and Naruto had been a couple for two weeks! Was I rushing things? When did we really become a couple? Was it really the night that we decided that we were one, or was it before that?

"Sasuke?" Itachi's voice snapped me out of my deep thoughts and I coughed, slightly embarrassed.

"I was just curious."

Silence.

"Sasuke."

There was something about Itachi's voice that made me shudder nervously. As if he knew exactly what I was about to do.

"Yes?" It came out a lot more quietly than I intended.

"Don't be nervous." I stared at my knee while listening to Itachi. "If your boyfriend really likes you, it'll work out fine. Okay? Don't be scared. Sex is... really nice, for lack of better words," Itachi said the last words with clear amusement. I couldn't help but to smile.

"I'm sure. But I... The thing is..." How was I supposed to tell Itachi how I felt? That I panicked every time Naruto touched me because of what Dad did to Itachi all those years ago. Somehow I had to tell him. I glanced at my watch. There were still ten minutes left. "I want Naruto to touch me... I want it really bad," I murmured, ignoring the fierce blush that crept over my cheeks. I didn't have time to be embarrassed. "But every time we get too intimate, I sort of freak out. I get panicked because the memory of what dad did to you is still so strong. Every time Naruto touches me, I hear your screams in my head and I-"

"Sasuke, stop." Itachi's voice was soft and understanding. I realized that my voice had been high pitched and slightly panicked just before Itachi interrupted me. My heart was already racing. "I understand. Okay? I know exactly what you mean. After that night, it was really hard for me to really enjoy sex with Gaara." I blushed even more. How could Itachi be so cool about it? "It's all about practice. You have to train yourself to trust Naruto thoroughly, with your whole heart, mind and body. Okay? That's the only way."

I nodded, once again realizing that it's impossible for the other person to see a nod via telephone.

"Thanks," I murmured, feeling both relieved and worried. A lot of hard work, that's what was ahead of me.

"Sasuke? Don't worry. It was hard at first but..." Itachi sighed. "I'm madly in love with Gaara. I love him so much. True, we've been through hell, but we went through it together. That's what matters the most. You have to trust Naruto. It's as simple as that."

"Yeah... I guess so." Oh, how happy I was to have Itachi back. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was allowed to be a child again. Itachi, my big brother, was there for me. Which meant that I was allowed, almost expected, to have questions, to be uncertain.

"Was there something else?"

"Nope," I said, feeling a little better. "Just wish me luck."

"Good luck. And don't worry... the first time is always a bit strange, I remember the first time I was being the seme and Gaara couldn't find the lubrication so I used my-"

"Too much information, nii-san!"

I hung up and laughed for the first time in days.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Your place looks even better than last time!" Naruto exclaimed and took a seat by my table. I smiled and sat down next to him.

"Would you like some tea?" I asked and stood up again. Naruto nodded.

"Yes, please," he murmured and scratched the back of his head. "I could need some tea right now. I feel so tense all the time." Naruto squeezed his own shoulder and groaned. Getting an inexplicable urge to give him a neck massage, I turned around with a small blush and went into the kitchen. I made the tea in silence and a few minutes later I gave him a steaming cup of strawberry flavored tea. He gratefully took the cup, took a sip and smiled.

"You are a better tea-maker than me, that's for sure!" He sniggered and took another sip. I smiled and took a sip from my own tea. The following minutes were spent in silence, except for when Naruto murmured his appreciations. Apparently, it was the best tea he had ever had. I didn't believe him. But it felt nice that he said it any way. He wanted to make me happy.

And I wanted to make him happy too.

"Naruto," I said and stood up. I don't know if he noticed the nervous shake in my voice. He looked at me.

"Hm?"

"Come with me."

He stood up too and left his empty cup on the table. With a puzzled look he took the hand I offered him. I gave him a smile, despite my racing heart and led him into my bedroom.

"Sasuke, what-"

I put my finger on his lips and took a deep breath before leaning in to capture that perfect, slightly damp set of lips. My eyes slid closed as I let my hands slide over his chest. His muscles tensed under my touch. Naruto responded to my kiss. Eagerly. His hand came up to cup my cheeks as he pulled my face closer to his. Before I could stop myself, I moaned with pleasure and pressed my body into his. I brought my arms around his neck, my favorite position, and enjoyed the feeling of Naruto's twitching muscles.

Naruto's hands abandoned my cheeks and slid over my sides, and over my back, pulling my body even closer. I was starting to feel... good... better... hotter...

No. Panic. Cold replaced the heat. I shuddered and forced my quivering muscles to stay still in Naruto's grasp. The pleasure was still there, but it was mixed with cold, sickening panic and it was hard to decide what was pleasure and what wasn't.

I swallowed hard and released myself from Naruto's grasp. He panted and stared at me.

"I-I'm sorry, are you feeling panicked? I'm sorry, Sasuke-" he stuttered, obviously feeling ashamed of himself. I forced myself to smile and then took one of his hands. I led him to the bed and sat down. I pulled him down too. He stared at me with a slightly shocked expression.

"S-sasuke?"

Once again I leaned in and kissed him, softer this time and deliberately licked his lips, dragging a moan out of him. He kissed me back, just as passionately and caressed my cheeks. It felt good again; his hands on my body. I wanted more. Inching closer, I gripped his shirt and deepened our kiss, allowing him to dive into my mouth.

"Sasuke..." he whispered huskily and I shuddered as his hands grazed my chest. My nipples felt sore and sensitive; obviously erect. And I wanted more...

Stop. Stop it. I said stop!! Don't allow this! Don't let him touch you, he's a man! Remember what happened to Itachi. Don't do this!! This is so disgusting...

Ignoring my disturbing thoughts and chilling panicked feelings, I pushed Naruto onto his back. He stared at me, and licked his lips.

I bit my lips and once again forced myself to smile.

"Do you want this?" I murmured with a voice I hoped was seductive. Naruto nodded slowly and smiled. My breath quickened and I tried to convince myself that it was because I was aroused too, which I actually was, but only a little. It was dull in the background. I barely felt the arousal. The panic covered it all. I wanted so bad to feel the pleasure. Even more than that I wanted Naruto to feel pleasure.

With extremely nervous fingers I started to unzip his pants. I could feel the large lump beneath it. Naruto was really hard by now...

"Sasuke, stop."

I shook my head and pulled his pants down a little. Completely determined. I had to give it to him, or he would leave me! I couldn't have that. I didn't want to lose him.

"Sasuke, stop it!" Naruto gripped my hands just as they were about to pull Naruto's underwear down to uncover his straining erection. I was already shaking like mad. I was sitting on my knees in front of Naruto, in my dark room. The only source of light was the small lamp on my nightstand.

I refused to look at Naruto, but instead kept my head down, stubbornly staring at my knees.

"Sasuke, you're shaking." Naruto was upset, I could tell by the sound of his hissing whispers. "What the hell are you trying to do?!"

"What you want me to!" I hissed back, still refusing to face him. The grip on my hands loosened.

"What did you say?" Naruto whispered softly, although I could tell he was upset. An angry sob tore through my throat. Fuck!! Why do I have to cry all the fucking time?!

"I heard you and Shikamaru yesterday, you idiot!" I hissed. "And I don't want you to leave me, so I'm doing this, okay? Just let me do this! I can't do anything else..."

"Sasuke what are you talking about?" Naruto said in a hushing tone, realizing that I was crying, he pulled me close to his body, practically forced me to bury his face into his neck. I refused to cry any more than that, and simply ignored the stinging in my eyes.

"You talked to Shikamaru about leaving me because you didn't get enough sex, right? I heard you."

Naruto shook his head.

"Look, I don't know what you heard, but that is not what we were talking about." Naruto actually sounded a bit amused. That bastard. "We were talking about my brother, Iruka."

I scooted back and stared at him.

"What?"

Naruto scratched his head with a goofy grin.

"Iruka is dating Kakashi-sensei," he said with an extremely embarrassed look. "I always ask Shikamaru for advice when it comes to stuff like that, that's why we skipped class together."

My eyes widened as the realization struck me. Naruto's brother was dating Kakashi-sensei! I remember seeing them at the cinema. That's what they were talking about...
Naruto continued.

"I've always thought of Kakashi as a pervert who sleeps with anyone. That's why I don't like the thought of them... doing it. I'm worried about my brother. What if Kakashi's just playing with him?"

Naruto gave a concerned frown and sighed.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I guess I was embarrassed. You know how Kakashi is..."

I nodded slowly.

"But why did you lie to me? You said Shikamaru wanted to see you."

Naruto once again looked ashamed of himself.

"Yeah, but what was I suppose to say? 'Excuse me I have to leave you now, because now I have to go and find Shikamaru, even though you and I almost never have the time to see each other in school.' I was afraid you might get angry with me... or get sad."

I suddenly felt ashamed of myself. I had jumped to conclusions way too fast. Naruto never wanted to hurt me. How come I always seemed to doubt that?

Naruto put his forehead to mine and kissed my nose.

"Listen to me; I'll wait for you. No matter how long it'll take. I'm willing to wait. You understand that?" Naruto looked deep into my eyes, making me realize exactly how serious he was. I nodded slowly.

"But I..." I started. What was I about to say? What was I doing? "I want to do this."

Silence. Naruto stared at me. I swallowed and sighed miserably.

"I want to. I need to get over it... and I," I had to swallow again. "I really want to. Every time you touch me it arouses me enough to..." I couldn't think of any words that could even begin to describe what I wanted to say. I gripped Naruto shirt and pulled him close. He embraced me. "I want this so bad... you have no idea, Naruto. Every time you lay your hands on me, I want you to touch me more, but as soon as you do, I panic. I don't want to panic!" I whispered the last words, almost angrily.

I scooted back a little and perked my head up. I placed a light kiss on his lips. They opened. I slowly stuck my tongue into his warm mouth. My eyes drifted closed again. Naruto pulled me closer.

"We'll take it slow, okay?" Naruto whispered. "I'll do this to you, Sasuke. And I will let you hit me as much as you want when it's over, okay?"

I nodded and swallowed hard, even though my mouth was dry.

Naruto slowly pushed me backwards until my back hit the mattress and my head leaned on the pillows. Naruto hovered over me, and for a second it felt frightening; he was over me, in complete power. But then he bent down and kissed my forehead. His hands rested by the sides of my head. Slowly he pressed his groin into mine, placing one of his legs in between my thighs. I gasped and groaned a little when his knee brushed against my already semi-erect cock. At the same time, panic seared up my spine, suffocating my pleasure. It made me growl with anger.

Don't ruin this for me!

But you're doing something dirty with a man!

"Calm down... I'm here," Naruto whispered and kissed my forehead again. "I'm here."

I relaxed and allowed myself to feel what he did to me. His hands caressed my sides and made me shudder in delight. It wasn't until his hands started to play the hem of my shirt that the panic came back. Immediately my hand flew to stop his. My breathing was somewhat harsh.

"Sasuke relax. I'm taking your shirt off, okay? Help me," Naruto said with a calm, yet husky voice. I nodded jerkily and sat up. Naruto slowly brought his hands inside my shirt and made it glide over my chest and shoulder. It was finally off of me, and Naruto stared hungrily at my chest. A single word escaped his mouth.

"Beautiful."

He made me lean back again as he started to kiss my naked skin, making me squirm, both from embarrassment and pleasure. He licked one of my nipples and I could feel it become stiff and sore. The little hairs on my body stood right out. Pleasure was finally starting to win over the panic. My hands gripped the sheets as Naruto made me moan by biting the nipple he had captured in his mouth.

Naruto scooted back, staring at my panting form before taking off his own shirt. His chest was a little broader than mine. And my skin was pale as porcelain, while he had a golden tan, making him glow in the dark. He leaned back down and kissed my lips while rubbing his chest against mine. I sighed at the friction and almost smiled as I realized that I wasn't panicked. It felt good!

My arms embraced him, and I arched up into his body to increase that perfect sensation. That pleasure. It made my body tingle.

The panic came searing right back as I felt Naruto try to unzip my pants. I almost hit him when Naruto smashed his lips against mine, making my head all dazed and fuzzy. I could still feel his hands slowly make my pants slid over my legs, so that I was left in nothing but my underwear. And I could hear the rustle of more clothes, which meant that Naruto had also removed his own pants. He rubbed his knee against my groin again. I gasped and involuntarily thrust against it to increase the sensation it created. My body felt so hot!

After a few wondrous minutes of sliding against each other's bodies, I finally felt Naruto's hand cup my dick through the fabric of my underwear. My body was confused now; one part of me screamed in outrageous panic, while the other part screamed for more pleasure. I listened to the latter and let Naruto fondle me. It felt so good.

But then, Naruto started to pull the underwear off.

That's when the panic really came back full force. I snapped.

"Don't!" I hissed. "No... Stop!"

Naruto held me down, which only increased my panic. He practically buried me in kisses and soft murmurs.

"Sasuke you have to calm down! I won't hurt you!"

"Don't look at me!" I yelled.

I squirmed and whimpered furiously as I tried to escape. Suddenly it all went black and for a second I thought I had fainted. But it turned out Naruto had turned the light off. And just like that the panic subsided. It wasn't completely gone, no not at all. But it wasn't as bad as it had been... why was that?

"Is this okay?" Naruto panted. "I can't see you now, Sasuke. Is this okay? I can only feel you."

I realized that it was okay. Naruto didn't see me, and so it was okay.

"Y-yes..." I murmured hoarsely. "I think so."

Remember what happened to Itachi, you disgusting freak!

…What? What do you mean? Itachi is happier than ever because of Gaara. Why should I be worried?

…

I was naked now. So was Naruto. We were in my bed, in my dark room. The sound of panting and moaning filled the air as Naruto, once again, started to rub his body against mine. I slowly, hesitantly started to rub back. Itachi was right; the first time was strange. It was hot. Me and Naruto were a large, hot heap of sweaty limbs. It was difficult, I didn't really know how to do it right. But the want was there, and the need.

Naruto finally touched my erection, making me gasp and arch into him.

"N-no.. ah... wait!" I could feel faint traces of desperate panic make itself known. Naruto was touching me there. There! And why did it feel so incredibly good?! Naruto hushed and rubbed his nose against my cheek.

"This is not sick... we are just two guys in love, okay? There's nothing sick about it."

I really wanted to believe him.

"Sasuke... feel this," Naruto whispered and grabbed my hand. He slowly brought it in between his own legs. I gasped with shock as I felt his hard member in my hand. It was large, and hard and kinda wet. I swallowed nervously and let my fingers explore the muscles in my hand. I savored the grunts it earned me.

"See?" Naruto panted, obviously even more turned on than before. "This isn't about you being horny about another guy. This is about us turning each other on. This is what you do to me, Sasuke." The erection in my hand twitched. "I'm this hard, because of you."

I moaned at the words and slowly rubbed the flesh, making Naruto groan with pleasure. The hand on my erection slowly started to pump in the same rhythm. It became faster.

It wasn't as wild and crazy as I thought it would be. One of my arms was hugging Naruto tightly, while the other hand pumped him as fast as I could manage. Naruto, who was over me, was kissing and sucking my neck, making me shut my eyes. His hand was jerking me in the exact, perfect rhythm. My legs were twitching and jerking with pleasure as Naruto brought me all the closer to completion.

"Haa! F-faster!" I groaned and threw my head back. I spread my legs wider so that he could reach more of my sensitive skin. Naruto growled and batted my hand on his dick away. Then he grabbed both his and my erection in one hand and pumped them in a mad speed, making me stutter incoherent things. Moans and grunts escaped my mouth unavoidably as Naruto bit my neck tightly. We were both so close!

"I'm gonna..! I-I'm..." I gave up trying to form words and just moaned loudly to announce my oncoming orgasm. Naruto panted heavily and sent warm puffs of air on my neck.

"Do it... cum for me now..."

And I did. I came all over us both. In the heat of orgasm I nearly screamed out my pleasure as thick streams of cum spurted from my member, making my whole body shake violently with the unbelievable pleasure of it all. Naruto came too, not even three seconds after me. He let out a loud moan and ejaculated over our bellies and my new sheets and as kinky as it may sound, it felt good to feel his cum land on my body. He had came because of me. I was the one who made him cum. And he made me cum. We made each other cum.

For several minutes we just laid there, Naruto on my stomach. His hand was absentmindedly caressing my sweaty hair while we were waiting for the afterglow to go away. God I felt so good. And so relaxed. Not panicked. No… not panicked at all.

It felt as if I had slept for the first time in years. The orgasmic daze stayed with me until Naruto perked his head up and gave me a tired kiss on the lips.

"God, how I love you."

Then he nuzzled my body and I embraced him tight, glad that he couldn't see my beaming face. He loves me. He loves me! I couldn't possibly prevent the bright smile that started to grace my features.

You're so dirty; you did that to a man! You're a pathetic Uchiha. Fuckin' fruitcake... you're nothing but a disappointment. You bring shame to your family! You are so-

- Oh, shut up.

The last, faint voice of panic slowly drifted away, leaving nothing but a nervous, but warm delight. I fell asleep in Naruto's arms, and I felt no regret.

TBC

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Tadaa! No cliffie! (sighs) I really spoil you guys. Hee hee. Okay, the story is NOT over!! There are still several chapters left so don't stop reading this story, okay?

Um... I hope you're satisfied with the lime. It's been a while since I wrote a real lime/lemon. I hope it was okay. ^^

Okay - summary for the next chapter (a happy, lovey-dovey one, I think);
Sasuke and Naruto are more in love than ever. Sasuke has finally gotten over his fear of sex, and now he's more sure of himself in his relationship with the blonde dobe. Halloween is drawing closer and Shikamaru decides to have a party! Yay! At the same time, a certain pink-haired girl is trying to get revenge on Naruto for making her look like an idiot (which she is). What is she going to do? Read and find out! :D

*Outoto; Little brother
*Aniki; Older brother/big brother