Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Tsunade's Heir ❯ Volume 4 - Wave Arc Pt. 1 ( Chapter 10 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Chapter 15: Chapter 15



Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but my ideas are mine. It's fine if you want to write divergence or submit omake, but you can't make a profit out of it! (Yeah, I'm that cocky now.)

Happy Thanksgiving! Well, I was two days late, so it's a little belated.



It was a fine day. A lovely day such as this, Sakura mused, was an excellent day to die.

Of course she had no intention to die uselessly – oh no. Certainly not before she'd found Naruto, because she refused to die without him. It was he that turned her into a veritable walking time bomb and she felt it would be a cosmic wrong if he didn't reap what his carelessness sowed.

They were at one of the lesser exits of Konoha village – a small service gate installed so that the Inuzuka (who's compound touched this wall) would not have to go far in order to partake in some good, old fashioned, hunting and bonding in the wild.

With Sakura was her beloved Sasuke-kun. He was standing in the corner with his spiky hair and his aloof, 'leave me alone' pose. He was feeling particularly happy today Sakura observed – and only she could observe it because he was secretive with his feelings like that and she was rather (ahem) accustomed to watching him.

After the initial attempted glomp and inevitable faceplant – oh he was a sly one, that Sasuke-kun – she eventually supposed that his good humor just didn't extend into the touchy-feely region this morning.

After a period of silence, he gave her a "Hn?" and she felt certain that only she could have discerned the question mark in that grunt – and was proud for it.

"Oh these?" She gestured to the attire which troubled her so. She had a sachel which was quite functional but far too big and excessively plain she thought. She wore a belt on which six troubling scrolls were now vertically strapped in to. She also had two extra pouches at the back of it and the whole ensemble was so out of place on her outfit that she desperately wished she had found the time to dye the belt red – or at least pink – why, even white! "Naruto-kun gave it to me. Well," she corrected herself, "his sister did."

Sasuke eyed the scrolls.

"Naruto-kun gave me those too." Sakura explained. "But I really wish he didn't"

A bishonen eyebrow raised.

"I know they look like FMSTs, but they're not." Sakura explained. "They just look like it."

"Hmph."

"You're so right, Sasuke-kun. It really is something stupid. Um, it..." she struggled with herself. "Well, it's really dangerous." She'd been fingering them the whole time, she realized, as if one of them might just come loose of her belt, drop to the ground, and destroy everything within a quarter mile diameter.

Sasuke gave her a stare. The Uchiha Sasuke Fanclub had long since categorized it as a type three – inquisitive type.

"Um," She blushed demurely she hoped – because she was a maiden of course. "Well I got them because they're supposed to help me be stronger and I thought that you might like that."

This evoked another eyebrow raise and Sakura restrained a squeal as this one was yet undocumented (oh, how she sympathised with Tsunade-sama's policy on cameras now), but then again she'd decided to play it cool today. She held herself back even as Sasuke turned away.

This provoked inner Sakura in all the wrong ways. Oh, he is a sly one, that guy. Oooh, I just want to eat him up! One of these day's I swear I'm going to find a locked room where I can tie him up and – and I can admit that I don't know what I'll do then but with enough books I think I can figure something out. Fufufu! Oh, the joys of learning!

Oh shut up, me, regular Sakura scolded mentally, you're such a pervert.

Well... inner Sakura reasoned, it takes one to be one.

Sakura paused, and had to really roll that one around in her head for a rebuttal.

At that time team 8 arrived. Because the gennin involved here were inexperienced , it was decided that there would be two teams assigned to the mission so that their cumulative experience would be decent, if their individual ones were not.

That and unknown to people outside the Hyuuga compound, Hinata had become near-hysterical at hearing that Naruto would be leaving for another country so soon (his status as a Konoha resident was not nearly as concrete as she would have liked) and downright murderous when she heard it was Water Couontry that wanted him (she had a particular caution against Naruto being around the place and it's nobility).

A few string-pulls later and there you go. Haishi was betting something would happen on this mission to… do… something with Hinata's attitude – glorious or terrifying he couldn't say. To be honest, his late wife had been both and the recent revelation that Hinata might take after her in that respect made it rather imperative that whatever personal revelation she experienced, she experienced it as far from his physical person as he could manage.

Greetings were exchanged. Hinata apologized for holding up their team, bowed, took one look at Sakura's belt, blanched in mild shock and terror, and silently gave a wide breadth when she walked around Sakura by an arm-length.

That just made other people curious – but they were interrupted.

"Heey, sorry I'm late!" Naruto greeted, waving. "Is Kakashi-sensei here," Naruto asked, familiar with his teacher's habits, "or are we going to have to burn all of his perverted hangouts down until we find him?"

"I'm here!" Kakashi coughed, materializing from god knows where. "You violent little child."

"Great. Give." Naruto held his hand out.

"... What?"

Naruto 'tsk'ed. "Don't be difficult."

"Here's mine, Naruto-kun," Sakura offered, handing over a folder.

"Hn," Sasuke gave his as well.

"It took a while. Sorry Naruto-kun," Hinata gave four, "but this is for our team."

Naruto glanced at Akamaru, Kiba's dog and companion. "And Akamaru's?"

"Um, it's in Kiba's folder."

Sakura frowned. "Do you really need all of our medical files, though? We had a health-check as part of the graduation exam. We should be immune to almost all poisons and most diseases."

"Is it necessary?" Naruto echoed hollowly. "You're really asking that? We have eight people and a dog!" the boy cried. "And how many medical ninja? Just me!" he ran his hand through his hair. No one really understood his frustration – but then it seemed to be one of those professional peeves, they thought. "You have no idea where we're going, do you? You probably read the description in the book, but that's it, huh? Listen: that country is… well, it's hell. For us in medicine, it's really hell. You've seen the map. It's a tiny collection of tiny islands way away from all land. They have a huge population and nowhere to put themselves, much less their waste or their farms. And if that was all, it would still be pretty bad." He frowned harshly, his gaze becoming listless – his distaste bleeding into his voice. "But the air, the water, Hygene, nutrition, poverty, waste disposal, border control for disease, it's all junk." The blond glared at something only he saw.

Sakura and Hinata found the sight of a truly upset face their normally rambunctious mutual friend so unsettling that they shuffled themselves away from his glare's meaningless path.

"Yeah," he continued with a hint of anger, "junk's the word. I'm sure they use that exact term too, those aristocratic bastards." He shook his head and his anger, clearing both. "Look, you wouldn't understand until we get there Sakura-chan. And hey, when we get there you'll honestly understand weather you want to or not – but whatever. It's just hell, okay? We throw smart people – really smart, really good people at it. We throw vaccines, inoculations, food programs, contraceptives, shoes, wells, and hell even flyers and stuff. No matter what we do, the damn country's just always sick. And not just normal sick." Naruto enforced. "Sick with diseases with names that would keep your parents up at night. And you know what? Screw it." Naruto decided suddenly, addressing Kakashi "If you don't want to give me your med-file," he puffed, "then hell, maybe we can get a sensei that isn't such a pervert after you finish excreting yourself to death when you've got something terminal and I don't know enough to help."

It was surprising what a good rant did for people's willingness to overlook his status as a kid, Naruto mused, because he didn't even know when he got his sensei's folder.

"Well then let's go!" Naruto hopped into the back of the waiting wagon. Kakashi sighed, having not even gotten the chance to explain the intricacies of their mission.

It was stunning, Kakashi mused. When Naruto wasn't around, it seemed that nothing happened at all and when he was present events seemed to transpire at light-speed.

The lazy Jounin Henge'd, using the illusion to modify his image of the average everyday merchant and went to the driver's seat, taking up the reins of their two horses. Of course he'd been planning to give Naruto his file from the start – that's why he'd brought it. Hinata had probably had to convince her teammates and even her sensei, but Kakashi knew well the terror of Water country. He was just still angry at the blonde brat for endangering his Icha Icha that one time. But the kid was exceptional – for a kid. He sounded experienced at least. So was that why they asked for a Houou? They want the best – no, then they would have asked for Tsunade. Any Houou implied some sort of family healing technique – one of the many the hadn't been shared with the village yet.

And he was again reminded that this was a child embedded in medicine before he'd ever gone to school. No. His school had been medicine.

And as scary as the Tai and Ninjutsu sections of his profile might look for a gennin, he vividly recalled the iijutsu section of Naruto's statistic pentagram.

An enormous red question mark and a note at the bottom:

We have no concrete idea, but half our doctors want to kill him and the other half just call him 'sensei'. That's some serious shit right there.

He'd just have to put such thoughts aside, he decided as he found Kurenai beside him now in the image of his 'supposed' wife.

Time to depart.

Six gennin sat inside a wagon. They departed Konoha from a ninja-only area (Inuzika compound) to try and keep the mission hush-hush. Likewise, if they were stopped by anybody the gennin were to assume images of common folk with Henge.

Naruto had a cookie in one hand (apparently Hinata brought cookies) and Akamaru's file in the other – man that dog was well looked after. He had more immunity building work than his owner did. Wait, partner. The Inizuka referred to them as partners.

He wasn't focusing on it though, he was debating...

Aw hell, he did have to, didn't he?

Yeah, he did.

"Hey Sasuke," Naruto sighed, holding out his hand. "Truce?"

Oh no, Sasuke thought, he wasn't falling for that again. He still remembered last time.

"All right, all right," Naruto sighed from his place half-incinerated on the ground – Sasuke had learned very quickly that holding back against Naruto was not only difficult, it was pointless. Anything under Karyuu Endan, he would actually ignore. He used some form of chakra-based insulation, as far as he understood. "You win, I guess. It was first to three hits, after all, and that was three..." he sighed. "I guess that makes us even again. Help me up?"

Sasuke eyed the boy's outstretched hand wearily, and reached for it. "Hn," he supposed he could be the gracious winner this ti –SUNNOVABITCH! Did that bastard just pie him? Where did he even pull the pie from?

"And I was allergic to that pie," Sasuke glared, knowing that Naruto would get the referance. "Because you'd gotten it from a fangirl. You know what kind of things they put in food, Naruto. Calling sedatives 'love potion' is just semantics." Sasuke found himself able to talk to the blonde most easily out of everyone he knew.

The fool was a pain, to be sure. And he was also aggravating, foolish, suspicious, devious, and a generally hateable idiot.

But he was an honest idiot, in his own way. He was frank at least. And what rules he did follow, he followed straight through.

Naruto chuckled, recalling the event fondly. "Hey, I'm a medic-nin in training, aren't I? I would've fixed you up if you suddenly collapsed."

"That's a problem," Sakura interjected, stern and straight-backed, "if you give me a name, I can have them dealt with. We have a maxim against Love Potions and things of that nature."

"Woah~" Naruto was honestly impressed, and clapped softly, "as expected of the fan club president – you keep them on a tight leash, huh? It was that duck girl."

"It would be her," Sakura muttered. Member #44 had taken her shinobi education in all the wrong ways.

Naruto finished chuckling and again held his hand out – silently, solemnly. "I'm serious, Sasuke. We need this."

"Why?" Sasuke asked quietly – by virtue of his profound mystification. "It works both ways, Naruto."

"I've... seen things," the blonde began slowly – body language subdued for a change.

Hinata was instantaneously concerned.

"I've," the blonde frowned imperceptibly, "been places. Been attacked. You know?"

Ah, it struck Sasuke suddenly, of course. "...You're worried about assassins. I'll hear you out."

"It isn't like the academy, Sasuke" Naruto frowned. "There isn't always a way out – because they aren't trying to teach you. And the ones trying to kill you can be killed too – and they don't like that. Course' they don't *#&^% like that. They'll just come whenever they feel like it. In the middle of your tea, when you're asleep, on the toilet, mid-goddamn-sentence, they just don't care."

"Then the solution?"

"What I'm trying to say." Naruto scowled unhappily, "is that there isn't a solution. Things can really, really suck out here. Sometimes someone needs to take the hit and if that happens," the son of Tsunade slowly pointed purposefully to himself, "I'm the one with the best odds, right?"

An immense shattering sound accompanied Naruto's statement.

Hinata laughed it off, weakly. "Oh, I – I thought of making some... some tea. I was going to make your favorite but I guess I... I slipped, sort of."

For someone who had slipped and reduced a once proud and expensive teapot to shards – which were littering her now superficially bloody hands – she sounded remarkably unconcerned. Distracted.

Hollow.

"Here," Naruto took her hands in his, "let me see them."

"No. Wait." It was probably the first time she'd refused him anything and she hadn't even stuttered – she was so absorbed in him. "I'll do it," she frowned (the first time she'd done that to him, too), "I don't want you to get hurt Naruto-kun."

But the hint sailed right over his head. He fixed her up quickly with ijutsu and although when he asked if she were fine now she just stared and frowned at him again, he shrugged and continued talking to Sasuke.

Sakura wasn't sure if she should be shocked at her friend's insensitivity or not, but she felt exasperation and pity for certain. She also felt fear. She noted that the teapot had been broken without any particular technique or body movement – it was raw spontaneous gripping power.

Most people don't realize it about the Hyuuga, but there was just something about jabbing one's fingers into wood, muscle, and bone four to eight hours a day that strengthened them.

"I'm the most suited to taking the hit," Naruto repeated, "but I'm still the only damn ninja with medical training. I'll have to patch myself up."

Sasuke closed his eyes, and sighed, "So you need someone to fight while you're down."

"If it's someone to occupy the enemy..." Naruto frowned.

He was right, Sasuke knew immediately. He'd be very good at that regardless of the foe – because he was born perceptive, flexible, and swift.

Naruto knew that too, for the same reason Sasuke knew that no one else could survive what Naruto would simply walk away from.

Because they detested each other.

"The three of us," Naruto indicated his team, "we need each other."

He held out his hand once more. "I want you to watch my back, and Sakura's. I'll watch yours, too. Even the atrocious hair. Ok, well maybe not the hair. But I'll definitely look out for most of the rest of your bodily person. You can take that to the bank."

Sasuke resisted the inherent urge to escalate that hair comment. He analyzed the offer, and found himself torn.

He couldn't fathom what he'd realistically need from Sakura that he couldn't provide for himself with a little effort, but it was apparent that she was inherent in the deal.

And he just plain didn't like it.

He wasn't like Naruto, who disliked being the stranger

He rather enjoyed being alone. It was infinitely better than being with company that pestered and obstructed you – as almost everyone seemed to do.

And when you were surrounded by people who were determined to either outright use you or force you into their private image of… of whatever tragic soap opera story they were after.

In comparison, a life of solitude was rather pleasant.

But then, he had to survive - had to survive – and what Naruto said made sense.

He observed the blonde carefully, and was surprised by what he saw.

The medic-in-training was frowning imperceptibly. His brows furrowed. His eyes squinted. And because this put Sasuke on edge, he was the first to register the whisper – laced with disbelief.

"get down"

Sakura, for her part, blinked. "Did you say something?"

Hastily, the blonde pushed her to the floor with his left hand even as he reeled back his right. "GET DOWN!"

Kiba was asleep and already laying down. Sasuke was down, body tucked and hands over his neck, swearing that this had better not be a prank. Hinata in her characteristic, implicit trust of anything bearing Naruto's Stamp of Approval™, was already pressed to the floor and braced for come what may. Shino was a thoughtful person, and had supposed there might be times when quick action could save his life – and was diving for the floor before he heard a characteristic yelp. He would later pay for the half-second more he spent scooping Akamaru into his chest but he, again, was a thoughtful person. He had his priorities.

The floor shattered beneath Naruto's chakra-laden fist, causing his fellows to fall down whether they honestly wanted to or not. But the carnage that followed next…

… was not explicitly caused by God-Hand.

x-Concurrently-x

"Geez, what was Hokage-sama thinking? I applied because Hinata insisted," disguised Kurenai sighed, "but I never thought we would be approved for this."

"Well don't worry about it." Kakashi placated. "I can't explain here but Hokage-sama is Hokage-sama, after all" he said wistfully. "He wouldn't let us go without adequate protection." He raised an eyebrow at his comrade's fidgeting body language. "What is it?"

"Ah, no." Kurenai waved him off. "I don't think it's anything, just… a bad feeling, kind of."

Now there were a few ways that Kakashi could take that, he thought. It could simply be paranoia. It could be new-mission jitters. They were escorting pretty high-profile kids, after all.

Yes, normal things like that

But his luck wasn't that good.

…Shit. He swore to himself. So soon? Kurenai was an excellent operative, but she lacked experience. She should work on understanding her worth better.

Genjutsu specialists like her, at her level, all had an unprecedented sixth (chakra) sense.

"Is the feeling going away?" he asked solemnly.

Kurenai didn't respond. Her brow furrowed. Something, something…

Her eyes widened in shock and she bolted to her feet. "Jump! Wait – the children!" she cried.

The elder Jounin had literally nothing to go on but his ally's hysterics, but in his line of work you listened to your alarms or you died. Someone of Kurenai's qualifications was more than enough. He roughly seized his fellow sensei by the waist and leapt for his life directly six feet up.

"The children!"

"You have to save –" yourself first, he was going to say. But a haunting howl drowned him out and in the next moment he was as a leaf in the wind – cast violently aside.

Distantly, he noted Kurenai detach herself from him, and brace herself for impact right before slamming into a tree.

He himself regained his bearings from his place on the ground. His very first action was to discretely prepare a kwamwari.

A beast? There was a howling, and the crunching sound of fangs – no, that's wrong.

He realized as he saw the aftermath, that it was only one fang – and no beast.

A fang of wind then – they had dodged it but the mere pressure displacement in its wake had tossed them like ragdolls and cast them to the earth.

The brief crunching sound would be the total destruction of the caravan and the surrounding trees. And that drawn, bloody smear was –

Well, he'd have to think about that later – the mark was sizable, yes, but thin. That was only the blood for one person.

Secure the survivors first.

Kurenai was terrified. Of course she was a kunoichi. Of course she put her life on the line weekly. Daily, at the worst.

Of course she was a hardened combatant. Of course she knew that sacrifices needed to be made, the ultimate one included – had signed a waiver for it last week, in fact. She was a soldier.

Of course she was.

Of course.

But the children!

Not the children.

'Too soon,' kept repeating in her mind – and it was all she could think of. 'Too soon.'

When she collided with an invisible division in the air, she railed at it in what she would later like to think not as feminine fury… but an even more basic, genderless need.

They have a right, it said. They have a right to live a little more. A right to experience more of the life being a ninja meant before they decided to sign the paper she had – or not.

They weren't ready – they were really just discovering what it was about! They just weren't part of this yet! It was just too soon!

Kakashi observed his comrade with a quarter-effort even as he ran up to her and focused on the barrier before them. Yes, she was green. He'd have to watch her closely. She let her emotions control her and she became far too attached to her group far too quickly.

He observed the situation inside with half-effort (the last quarter of his attention was paid to his surroundings). A lithe, pale, robed man must have descended wile they recovered and quickly set up their barrier. He was at the focal point. He was indisposed in maintaining the field.

But there was an enormous… a veritable giant atop the invisible dome as well. He seemed to be waiting to enter the dome from up there. Bronzed skin. Muscled to absurdity. He looked more a bodybuilder than a ninja, until Kakashi glimpsed his face.

That was the calm face of a veteran man.

How concise. The old 'shooting fish in a barrel' strategy. Damn them, but they were good…

But that also meant there were fish left to shoot. Regardless, he had to neutralize the giant before he entered the barrier by whatever means he was plotting

"Kurenai!" he shook the Jounin. "Kurenai, collect yourself! This barrier is – " His hearing interrupted him. Warning. Shuriken incoming.

Damn!

He spun around and deflected the first barrage in what he hoped would be a very short-lived battle.

Kiba, being that he'd been sleeping and subsequently laying down and in a limber state to begin with, but mostly just plain lucky, emerged from under the wood chippings with the only a few scratches and a single, throbbing headache.

"Okay." He said, observing his destroyed and scattered surroundings. "What. The. Fu–"

"Hnng!" Shino grunted as he attempted to pull himself out from under what remained of the wagon's axel. He'd been unlucky. The metal rod, being far from the point of passing of the technique had not been flung as hard, but it had also stayed intact and crushed the gennin's right arm. Being the least well positioned at the critical time, he'd also been flung the hardest – too hard even to roll properly with the force of the technique – and victimized by the greatest amount of shrapnel.

"Dude!" Kiba exclaimed, rushing instantly to his companion's side and, once there, knowing not at all what he should be doing with himself. "H-Hey, I… Hold on, I'm going to get this thing off of you! Jezus, it's – Hey, help! Some - Somebody! Anybo - ough. Anybody!" He almost threw up. There was blood everywhere – he prayed that it wasn't all from Shino himself. He disbelieved that all that could be from Shino himself. "Naruto!" he gasped in realization – and it was like a revelation from a book. The sky opened up with his hope. His spirits soared irrationally. "Where is that idiot?" He laughed. It was such nonsense that he laughed, and his voice cracked with an emotion he didn't care to explore but then nothing made sense anymore. And he only had time for Shino. "At a time like this! You're going to be c-cool, Shino. We're gonna' – gonna' laugh at this later. It'll be like... The chicks'll dig us man. The scars will be smexy and we'll be all t-tough and jaded and have ha-hazard-pay to party with too and, and, an…" Kiba choked off – the words died. That arm was barely attached. Mysterious ivory shards protruded through the flesh like some kind of, of… and human tissue was not meant to compress that way. It wasn't!

And the blood.

The blood!

"Get over here Naruto! Naruto!"

The sensation of flying was actually quite incredible. If he wasn't busy focusing ever ounce of chakra he could convert into keeping this jutsu from blowing straight through him, he might have found the sensation a bit of a thrill.

As it was he was riding the front of the blade – literally balanced on the edge of life an death, one could say – being blown backwards at speeds upwards of 70km/h. His hands – so used to channeling inhuman levels of chakra for destruction – and his legs –used to inhuman levels in order to keep him stationary when unleashing said destruction – served him well as he gripped what he could of the broad of the blade like a demented kamikaze samurai monkey.

God. Damn. Assassins.



Omake – Academy Hijinks

One would have to be there to understand.

Normal schools with a food program or a canteen or a dining hall were a hustle and bustle of loud, noisy, pushy, hungry masses.

Take that, and add subterfuge. Multiply it by ninjutsu. Square it by taijutsu, and you can approximate what it was like.

No one displayed wall-walking, but bodies hung plastered to the ceiling with questionable substances. Every window was broken. Bunshin held places in line and there was hell to pay if they were found out. Knife wars, fork wars, and even spork wars randomly erupted over trivial matters. There was a little place in the back left corner where, if one had the necessary contraband to trade, every exam in every class for every academic year but the last could be attained. People would be subdued under the cloak of a distraction or genjutsu - not to be found until three days later - just so that imitations could be used to take their place in line. Juice was spiked with alcohol. Food was spiked with pepper. And pepper, also, was spiked with alcohol.

This inevitably just made things worse.

It was chaos.

And for the record, no one had yet managed to deduce what the alcohol was spiked with – Naruto had his suspicions but he was honestly too terrified of being right to investigate.

Uchiha Sasuke entered the room and immediately the hustle and bustle paused.

It did this because about thirty female academy students from various years poured in after him ready to enforce the aforementioned silence.

Sasuke refused to let his irritation show - he would not give them that victory - and approached the canteen silently.

Without even needing to speak, he found his order before him, the normally tough and gruff canteen lady attempting to smile kindly and called him 'dear'.

She didn't even know him. None of these people knew him - it was easy to tell by the tumult around him.

"Sasuke-kun likes that bread because his mother did this" or "no, because of that." or any number of wild stories - as they decided on everything else about his past and his character.

To be honest, he just liked sweet food.

But if he told them that - and he'd attempted before, in a moment of temporary madness of his - and he'd been labeled as 'shy' or 'understandable', as if he were diverting attention from his true and tragic reason.

Oh, not to worry they had said. They'd keep his 'secret' and they 'respect his private reasons'.

They'd fabricated the secret, the reasons, and the shyness for themselves. And damned if those 'secrets' weren't the talk of the academy by fifth period.

And Naruto called him arrogant. Pah.

Sasuke this, Sasuke that. Everywhere he went. It made him sick. Sasuke's hair. His past, his future. It was infuriating.

Why sasuke, sasuke, sasuke?He didn't want to hear 'Sasuke'!

He wanted to hear Uchiha!

The Uchiha were diligent, swift, adaptable, quick studies, and knew how to take charge.

He was all of those as well - he had strived for it because he was an Uchiha. He represented the Uchiha - was the clan head! He showed them results of a true Uchiha because that was what Uchiha did - they did results.

Did he hear that the Uchiha must have been swift? That they were brilliant? Leaders? Diligent? Nothing! Where was the talk of their past? Their history – their future?

The praise he heard was none of that but of his most superfluous qualities. His silence? That was worthy of praise? He could breathe a fireball the size of a house if he put his mind to it and no one said a thing.

A 'fangirl' praised his taijutsu scores. He ignored her. Hollow words from hollow intentions, from a person that had never even wanted to understand anything of what his achievements actually meant.

Naruto entered the cafeteria, late by merit of his daily mid-day detention and unlike with Sasuke the crowd did not part for him – but he forced his way through just as quickly.

He hailed Sasuke jovially. "Hey, Ass-uke. How's it going? Your keepers let you out here?" He referred, of course, to the fangirls.

They quite loudly didn't appreciate that.

"I left my bentou" Naruto said simply. "So listen, I know we've had our differences in the past but we're classmates, yeah? I mean, I'm just joking around when I point out how you hit like a girl. And really, I couldn't make fun if it wasn't true. It's not my fault your wrists are so limp."

With the butterknife, Sasuke decided in a red haze. He'd kill him with the butterknife – just to embarrass him.

"Whaddya' say, good buddy. You could probably get another one in like, five seconds."

"No." Sasuke coldly denied.

"I'll… buy it from you?"

"No."

"Have a match for it?"

Sasuke froze. "Stakes?"

Naruto puzzled this. "Uh, winner gets the pot?" he offered, tossing his book beside Sasuke's

Now, Sasuke had no need for that book: advanced critical care or some such.

But Naruto had.

He would miss it.

When he attained a new one, he would remember the stinging defeat he would today experience.

Sasuke grinned inwardly much more than outwardly – it was still a cocky, aggravating thing.

His fanbase swooned anyways.

"No Ninjutsu." He insisted as he stood.

"Yeah, we're inside" Naruto agreed. "Other than that, no rules."

"Done."

"Shake on it?" Naruto proffered his hand.

Now two things caused Sasuke to pause. One: when a properly trained shinobi says 'no rules' he meant 'no rules' in ways that would cause con-artists to be revolted, terrified, enraged, and just plain disgusted.

Two: Naruto was being far too civil.

Sasuke stared at the offending hand and was hesitant. Naruto was a grappler, in a way. In truth, he was actually a striker – like Sasuke – but without the technique of a striker. Without the fluidity. The art.

Sasuke liked to think of him as an elephant. The elephant: the undisputed most powerful land-based creature in the world, yet not actually built for combat. Bulky… awkward. And most damning of all? An herbivore.

Not truly a fighter.

Naruto would sometimes compensate for his artlessness with tactics that destroyed a person's mobility, such as grappling.

Sasuke had even taken to wearing an extra long sleeve jacket to school, that he could shed it if it were grasped.

Because once that person caught your wrist by skin contact, no earthly force would remove him.

Rather, it was your wrist that would first be removed.

"Fine" Naruto scowled, bowing instead – shallowly. Seeing Sasuke still not move, he scowled and stood straight again. "What, Uchiha don't bow?" he mocked.

They do. Sasuke thought, and grit his teeth. When tradition dictates. Woodenly, seethingly, he did so. "Houou don't bow?" he spat venomously back.

"Heh" Naruto obliged with another bow – yet he didn't.

It had the vague beginning of a bow but actually there were key pieces missing for his action to be called that.

It lacked a feeling of respect, form, tradition, or contact of both feet with the ground.

And it was really too swift and volatile of a thing.

And one did not launch forwards with a bow.

Although one did with a headbutt.

Sasuke collapsed and saw stars, swearing loudly. "Naruto, you –"

The fangirl horde surged. "What a cowardly thing to do!" "Get back here with Sasuke-kun's lunch!"

"We said the winner takes the pot!" Naruto cried, dodging angry girls left and right. He vaulted over a tabletop and cackled. "I have the pot! That means I win!"

"Naruto!" Sasuke raged, regaining his bearings at last. He stood and sought his quarry with a hawkish gaze. Naruto had left.

"What a cowardly trick to pull!" a fangirl to his right exclaimed. "That's so disgusting. What a cheater!"

Sasuke was the quiet type. He bothered speaking with few people, much less his fangirls.

So maybe it was the daze he was still in. Maybe it was rage that loosened his tonge. Maybe it was just that he'd been having a really bad day.

"Don't be stupid!" Sasuke momentarily lost control of his voice – he didn't care. "How do you cheat a game with no rules?" He held his throbbing head in self-disappointment as much as in pain. "Winner takes the pot; the one with the pot is the winner. Guh! It's… fine as shinobi logic." He grit his teeth. "Damn him."

He spoke to himself more than the girls around him. He honestly didn't care what they thought. Pride dictated that he always win but before that, it dictated that he needed no freebies.

Damn that Naruto! He had been played.

"But it didn't start?" A brave brunette fangirl protested – it was strange to disagree with her idol. She felt that something must be going very wrong. "I mean, there was no handshake and only Sasuke-kun bowed!"

"Of course he bowed!" Sasuke bit out, berating himself with the realization. That there were people to overhear his anger was incidental. "He bowed just fine!"

"You mean back before the headbutt? But that doesn't – how can that possibly count?"

"It counts as round one. Hand me that butter knife." He gathered himself and ordered.

"What for?"

"Round two."

This wasn't over yet. His vision was filled with 'cutely' offered breadrolls, but he only had eyes for one. At the end of the day, his superiority would be proven. His trophy would be earned.

And it would indeed be sweet.



A/N:

Wha... did I just? Oh yeah, I did. Cliffhanger no-jutsu!

Sorry. I'm just trying it out.

By the way, handling the kiba/shino scene was also very awkward for me. Tell me what you think about that one.

I actually mustered the time to print this chapter out and check it over myself line by line (while in class, lol).

Super long omake was super long. Can't help it. The more I wrote, the more I found I could get away with some interesting backstory without, like, doing a sappy dramatic flashback somewhere. Laying the form of my brand of Sasuke is actually the hardest I've had it with any characters.

I actually don't personally like Sasuke. Like many that follow the TFF forums I have a disposition to dislike him. But then, that is largely due to what kishimoto did with him. From the basic premise of what he is and with a good deal of tweaking, I can make a decent addition to the Team 7 dynamics.

On the bright side, there's really only a handful of things to pass over before Team 7 is fully laid out as a character group.

I've been really happy with my writing lately. I do agree with some of my reviewers in that I think I have improved much from where I started. If I could do Tsunade's Heir over again, it would be a more polished and believable tale. But I never liked it when my preferred authors would redo a story, effectively putting its progress way back. I attribute my growth to practice, practice, my forays into different writing styles with "I Just Want A Vacation" and "Shippuden Complaint", practice, reviewers that have helped me fine-tune what worked very well and what was lacking, practice, and insight gained by reading the awesome fanfiction that's out there with a critical eye. Great fanfiction is really great. (Crappy fanfiction is really crappy. But then, we all start somewhere.)

…

Favorite line #1: demented kamikaze samurai monkey– just because.

#2: The elephant: the undisputed most powerful land-based creature in the world, yet not actually built for combat. Bulky… awkward. And most damning of all? An herbivore. – I just love the description. I just… do.

#3: And for the record, no one had yet managed to deduce what the alcohol was spiked with – Naruto had his suspicions but he was honestly too terrified of being right to investigate. – Classy.

#4: "Yeah," he continued with a hint of anger, "junk's the word. I'm sure they use that exact term too, those aristocratic bastards." – I probably like it more than any of you readers, because I actually understand everything he's implying here. Yay, me.

I wanted to upload this chapter for thanksgiving. Oops.

Better a little late than a lot late though.

Official start of the Water Country arc.

I have things planned and I am pleased with what I have planned.

The only problem is that I wonder if people will be able to keep up with the plotlines. There's the 'elite from the old days' plotline, the 'why is a Houou specifically needed' plotline, the 'why does hinata dislike Wave country so much' plotline, the 'what are those scrolls Naruto gave Sakura, exactly' plotline and so on and so forth.

I suppose I may need to pull out the embedded 'recaps' again.

Also, I look forwards to the conclusion of this fight. Have midterms coming up though so…

Oh well, I'll try for a halloween release at least. But I have "I just want a vacation to think about" too. I know my readership for it is like, a fraction of what I can get over here in the Naruto fandum but I always wanted to write a Zelda fanfic and it's not like it's as massive a time-sink as this story is.

Special props to my father and step-mother for their aid with medicinal knowledge. I'll give them a shoutout by name if they don't mind.

Review, please.



Chapter 16: Chapter 16



It couldn't stay like this, Naruto thought. He wouldn't be able to mould much more chakra – he had the raw materials and the control, yes, but even his pathways had their limits. They just weren't meant to channel chakra at this rate for a sustained period. He could feel his system scram out in protest. He could imagine his heart and lungs in particular – which were particularly taxed in the energy generation process – picketing and objecting their treatment emphatically.

And if they decided to go on strike, then hell, he was dead.

Now that the wind blade had begun to decelerate, Naruto was eager to dismount one way or another. Taking the gamble, he gave a horrific lurch – conscious of the fact that in doing so the abused bicep muscles in his right arm tore in the action. Thankfully the lurch transformed into him rolling himself over the top side of the blade, managing to only scrape minimally on the edge.

Of course he may or may not have lost a nipple in the process, but that was a rather negligible all things considered.

Yet rather than simply rolling over it or flying off, Naruto experienced the cruel technique's true terror. The world spun, flipped, spun once more, and compressed in seemingly random directions. For the technique's blade was designed only to ensure that bothersome obstacles did not slow progress long, and to act as the decoy.

Beside the blade was a tumult of violent crosswinds that were designed for a great deal of fury over a much larger, less noticable, area of effect.

And so Naruto found himself ejected from the jutsu's purposeful madness at terminal speeds.

Oh look, dazed and dizzy Naruto distantly appreciated from fifty feet in the air, I can see my house from here.

As Naruto landed, bounced, landed again and scraped to a halt, it was only thorough last-second reinforcement (that's it, his system cried, you're done after this. No more molding for you), his experience riding three story toads, and flying 'damnit, kaa-chan airways' that saved him from the vertigo.

So rather than throwing up extensively he could focus on urging his lungs to working. His heart beating. His consciousness intact.

But he was losing that battle. He was losing very, very hard.

He knew this because his body was his temple. No, it was more. It was his precious self-constructed house.

He knew every nook and every cranny. Every artery and every muscle. He could literally feel them out and so he knew: he wouldn't be in fighting shape any time soon.

He fought the urge to pass out, but he must be having one of those days

Because he was losing.

I'll have to risk it.

He began his invocation. Words of hypnotic power - guidelines for the soul.

My seal.

My inheritance.

My genesis.

Hear me.

Sub-array five, route A.

Runtime: 900 seconds.

Set.

Activate.

…

Wait, I should call Sasuke and the others first. They –

Violently, unconsciousness clubbed him over the head and took him.

Sasuke gathered his senses while still tucked up beneath some rubble or other (he couldn't quite discern what it was, but there was an inordinate amount of wood chips) and was pleased to find himself relatively injury free. Being already coiled, it was a simple matter to gather his returning strength and quickly launch himself from the pile. He was a black blur as he threw himself out of his (possible cover) at a mostly horizontal angle. And as he met the ground soon after, he transformed his escape into a roll, stopping only when he had his back to a stump and a kunai in his hand.

He still felt insecure.

What had done that to them? What power! He scanned left and right. He noted the stump he used as cover was barely sufficient in its size, despite the mighty height the redwood must have held previously.

"Sasuke-kun! Help!"

Now Sasuke would recognize that voice anywhere and not for lack of trying to forget. He had heard it far more frequently than he would have liked (not at all).

Sakura.

Ignore her came the knee-jerk instinct. Turn around and run for your sanity. The fangirl cometh.

Rejected. He didn't have that option anymore.

Naruto had taken it. He'd saved Sasuke's life. The deal hadn't been struck but Naruto had paid his share without consent. Presumptuous.

…Shit.

Sasuke refused to be left owing the idiot anything.

Soon he was by her side, tensed. They were in a ridiculously unfeasible position. Out in the open on the unfamiliar debri laden dirt road, trees cleaved in a fat line that left them ten absurd seconds from any form of cover and doubtless in clear view of whatever had sniped them with that futon.

But as for Sakura, for once she wasn't instantly absorbed in him. Her eyes were on the downed bug user. Surprisingly she wasn't in tears. Her face a mask of stone.

She was clinging to her mental training – she was in shock.

These people were not his concern, and in fact there was nothing he could do for the bug user that Sakura hadn't managed with her intermediate knowledge of standard first aid.

All that was left was to pray, if one was into that sort of thing, and look after oneself.

And Sasuke had to survive.

Kiba was sobbing. "Shino! Shino, you mime idiot, are you going to die a virgin man? Hang on! Hang – Just hang on!" Just hang on!

What was that? Sasuke involuntary touched his temple. What a time for a headache.

"Don't you die on me!" Don't die on me!

"Hang on damnit!" Hang on!

"How could this happen? Shino!" Mamoto!

Mamoto, just wait! I – the doctors... not you too? Mamoto! Who did this to you? How could this happen? You never even got your Sharingan. You're just a baker with a stupid smile! Mamoto!

No!

"No."

"Sasuke-kun?"

What? Right. "Can't you do something, Sakura?"

"I'm not Naruto-kun," Sakura … almost pleaded desperately. "I don't – I took intermediate first aid! I don't know any ijutsu and all I had with me were some b-bandages. I..." Sakura's face twitched uneasily, her carefully structured composure deteriorating. "I d-don't have anything to work with!"

Sasuke's long forgotten detective instinct roared to life.

Because that's what Uchiha did.

They did results.

They fixed things.

Medicine. Naruto carried medicine on his person – always – but that he wasn't here was precisely the problem.

Still, he had been so vehement about Water Country's dangers. Surely he came prepared for the worst?

But he hadn't – not visibly. He didn't come with so much as a backpack.

That can't be right. He would bring more. An enormous amount. And he wouldn't have carried the delicate medicines himself, anyways. He expected to be hit. Or burnt. Or a thousand other things. No, he wouldn't carry them. And he was clever. His whole family was –

Yes.

His family.

The satchel. The satchel Naruto's sister, a medical genius had given to Sakura.

Back line Sakura! Who neversaw any action and was meticulously cautious and alwaysclose by.

"Where's your satchel?" Sasuke demanded.

Alarmed by the urgency in Sasuke's voice. Sakura numbly showed it to him.

He immediately up-ended it. Foodstuffs, cosmetics, and general combat provisions poured out in a jumble.

He ignored everything pink.

This can't be all, Sasuke thought and raided the inside of the empty bag. Some kind of secret hatch. Some flap of cloth covering a storage seal array. Some...

Water? No. No...

Tears.

Sakura was looking in too. She was a booksmart girl. Maybe she understood what he was doing.

And she was crying.

Yes, she had never seen blood like this before. Real blood spilled in the real way. It was worthy of tears. Five years of mental preparation don't keep the sting from hurting the first time you're faced with reality. They just let you persevere.

The helplessness Kiba and Sakura felt. No... even the helplessness Sasuke himself felt beside Momoto the baker all those years ago….

They were all the same.

So it was expected that Sakura would be crying.

Yes, of course the tears would be hers.

Because he certifiably didn't cry. Never again.

But he used to. So he could understand. So he could respect the act enough to turn away.

And in fact he almost missed it: like a miracle, the truth of the satchel was revealed.

Sasuke found himself laughing at the strangeness of it. Water soluble paint for camouflage? Ridiculous.

Then Sasuke stared. A complex seal array stared back at him. "Get ready Sakura," he advised, "you're about to get more medicine than you'll know what to do with."

I see something. A white room. Unadorned. Clean. The windows were closed, the curtains drawn. The air is stale. Shit. I know what I'm looking at.

"Kid... Kid..." Not this dream again.

"What's wrong, old man? Damn, bedsore again?" I hate this dream.

"Kid, I'm done. I know..."

"Don't be stupid." Goddamnit. " You're not. Not yet. 'Dying' is a verb. It means there's death at the end." He's the one that had preached that to me. "You're alive. You're talking to me, aren't you? Dead people don't talk. Your death isn't set, but you're sure as hell alive so you're living. Not dying. Don't you forget it."

"I taught you some, while your family was out. I know my body. I –know-it. I'm done."

Don't look at the syringe old man. "Hey, what're you…? I'm putting that away. Which idiot left that out."

"They left it in reach for me. It's kindness."

Semantics. The me over there swallows. I remember why. My stomach had frozen over. Euthanasia. "Euthanasia. That's murder."

"It's suicide."

It's murder. Kind murder. "You're not in your right mind. You know that. You aren't in a state to make that call anymore." Maybe it's suicide sometimes. Not here. I-I think. It was all so confusing - still is.

"I'm done."

Back then I'd been angry. "With -that- attitude, maybe! Kaa-chan – Kaa-chan's given up on you. You've given up on you!" Angry at everyone. I thought they'd all gone mad. "But I never gave up on you old man – don't you give up on me!" Angry at myself the most.

In the end. I... I...

"Heh. Heh heh. You – You're a kind kid, kid. You remind me... God, you remind me of myself so much. You'll be brilliant for it. I'm... so proud. I'm... so sorry."

I couldn't save him.

… f*cking bullshit.

…Scene change? Thank god. I don't think I can stand to experience this anymore.

Happier times.

"Hold still Naru-chan," Tsunade urged. "This is delicate."

"Kaa-chan, I don't know about this. This seems like a bad idea." Little Naruto squirmed in his seat. "I mean, I never understood what this weird genesis seal was for and now you're messing with it?"

"I know," Tsunade sighed, "but I can't always be there to save you. I can only try. This seal was always meant to protect you when you need it. You must remember your promise to me though, that you'll only use it if there's no other way to survive. The Genesis Regeneration will… will burn your cellular life away."

"I really don't understand that."

"I don't either, brat, to be honest. I have as many questions as answers for this thing."

"But you still know how to make it?"

"Science can be funny like that. Get used to it."

There was companionable silence.

"Naru-chan, about what you were saying before. .. You want to be a – a combat-medic? On the – on the front line?"

"Yep. I figure I'll save time on the back end if I stop people from being stupid and getting hurt."

"Honey, there's no such thing as a front-line medic. And I never trained you for combat in the front. That's nonsense. Who will heal the healer, if the healer runs out like an idiot? You idiot."

"Pft, whatever. You're just jealous that I'm such a genius. Isn't prevention better than cure? That's medicine's 'pristine strategy' anyway. If I stop people form being hurt, I won't have to heal them."

"That strategy's usually talking about hygiene and inoculation. I told you that last week. You're such a... And so what? If you go down, you won't be able to heal your allies."

"Even if I'm at my best, who says I can heal them? Medic-nin's aren't that great..."

"...Where's this coming from, all of a sudden?" Tsunade, startled, yelled. Her inkbrush slipped and she almost got ink in Naruto's eyes. "Since when'd you get all anti-medic on me? It's that idiot Jiraiya with his flashy jutsu isn't it? Bastard."

"No. But there's things I can't do anything about. I... I get that, now. Kind of. But there's no point being a healer if what I do can't save people. The hell's up with that?"

"...It wasn't your fault" Tusnade whispered suddenly – tenderly. "The best of us couldn't have seen that coming. There was no time, Naru-chan, and if there was there still wouldn't be an answer. He lived long and full – longer than a cranky old coot deserved to."

"I saw him die."

"You shouldn't have. You shouldn't have run off like that. We locked you in your room for a reason."

"He was my patient, too. He might have needed me for... for something. And it doesn't matter. I'm right, aren't I? I can't heal death. I can't even try – you won't let me."

"Hell yes I won't let you. You're just inventive, crazy, and lucky enough to succeed. That can never be allowed to happen. Never. If you start to be tempted by that path… it will drive you mad. And you'll fight with that temptation forever."

"Well… So I'll protect them – whoever I'm with. With medicine or myself or whatever. I'll keep them alive – so that I actually have something to heal. I won't let there be any excuses. I'll be strong enough."

"Enough for what? Where does it end? Jounin? Kage? Enough to rule the world? What you want is crazy, and there isn't a ceiling to the need. Ninjutsu and summons are fine for a medic-nin but the front line and the role of the healer exist in different paradigms. Even God-Hand is not a technique of Taijutsu, but more of strategic force. I wonder if you really understand how good you'll have to be..."

"I... I dunno'. Just... enough. Enough that I don't lose anyone I care about. To anything."

"...Ugh... you're so... " Tsunaade sighed. "I've been terrible as a mother Naru-chan. I'm sorry. I raised you to be such an idiot. Such a damn fool. Somehow you ended up... ended up just like me."

"… I don't think there's anything wrong with that." Naruto disagreed. "Although I'm cuter. And smarter. And I don't suck brutally at poker. I could probably go on."

"You damn brat! Ingrate! I should... by god I have no idea why I love you so much. I must be senile."

"That would explain so much."

"I'll give your rude hide a gift, you idiot. These modified arrays are something Shizune and I devised for you. One of the major problems with the combat-medic idea is the blasphemy of healing your own critical wounds yourself. Madness. Mispractice. You've treated yourself for lighter injuries before – it only becomes harder as they become more severe. It's an exponential problem. These arrays I'm linking in to the Genesis seal will heal you naturally and cycle particular iijutsu equivalents through your body in particular ways, depending on the array used. So don't you dare activate the actual Genesis array."

"That's awesome!"

Tsunade puffed in pride that was only barely silent – for now. "They're static though, because all you're really doing is shunting the tasks off onto a lifeless template. It cannot adapt to a situation and so your body needs to be static too."

"Static. You mean... the seal will knock me asleep?"

"I mean the seal will freeze all your limbs in place and then it will knock you... asleep isn't the word" she mused. "Even hibernate isn't enough. You'll be normalized – almost violently. Until the cycle's done running, even if someone cuts you to ribbons you'll have sweet dreams and even breathing right until you bleed out. But it's better than nothing. It's a way to treat yourself even if your limbs are gone after the battle – That's important. Only activate them outside of battle. With this, you can be a combat-medic. Though it's still crazy."

Naruto blinked. "Wait a second. You designed the Genesis seal. You – You're a combat medic!"

"What can I say? I was a fool once, too. Natwaki, Dan, Jiraiya, Jiji, even O – never mind. I used to have... so much that I needed to save."

"Now, I just have you."

"And you cause me as much grief as all of them combined. Yes. I'm a 'combat-medic'. And you're one too. But the only way either of us can feasibly keep that up, Naru-chan, is if we're the only ones that know what that even means."

Hah. Good times. Bad times too. But Good times.

Yeah. Good times.

The world opened up. $%^&*. It was obscenely bright. But he felt good. The array worked.

But much to his surprise the wind was rushing by him. Hadn't he dismounted the futon jutsu? What the hell?

He came to alertness quickly as he checked his surroundings, blinking back the sunspots in his sleepy eyes. There: trees. About a billion or something miles away.

Straight down. "What the hell?"

So ended the long and convoluted fairytale of Houou Naruto, Shinken Mutoshi mused to himself. A child that had foiled some of the most meticulous up and coming hitmen and hitwomen in the business.

Akid worth fifty million yen, found unconscious as death itself on the ground, picked up, and simply thrown over a ledge.

Hell of a world they lived in.

A fifty million yen head taken by an (admittedly) generic chuunin who'd abandoned his village because the responsibilities had been literally too much effort for not enough pay.

Hell of a world. Wow. Seriously.

Better call the kill in. He touched his earpiece. "This is rover two. Sparrow down. Repeat: Sparrow down."

"Shinken, what the hell? You can't be serious! Where are you?"

"Sorry Shizuka. I know you had your heart set on some depraved, disgusting, possibly sacrilegious act of torture, but he's disposed of. I threw him off a cliff."

"What?"

"Hell of a world we live in, eh?"

"You – You threw him off a cliff? A cliff? As in, just one cliff? I told you he's a f*king monster! Tell me where you are!"

"Well yeah, you said the target had damage resistance. Hence the cliff. It's the longest drop in fire country, for your information. And I threw him far enough to rule out wall walking. Give me some credit here."

"No! Just shut up! Confirm it! See him splat!"

Sicko.

That was just plain sadistic, but Shinken would humor the woman – she was the supposed 'Naruto Expert' or some such rubbish. She 'technically' outranked him in their little patched together temp. chain of command.

Shinken stepped to the cliff edge produced a pair of binoculars.

"You know, I think he woke up right after I threw him and started spinning and he was flailing his arms around. Like a chicken. A very drunk chicken."

"Spinning? Was there a distortion in the air… like where light bends!" Shizuka clarified. "Like the area where there's thin air above a fire!"

Shinken blinked, recalling his trusty semi-photographic memory. "There might have been something like that, yeah. What's a Katon going to do? Parting shot? How tenacious."

"It's not thin air, it's heavy air! He's gathering and hypercompressing – he's charging his futon! Didn't you read my dossier? Duck! Run! Shit! Don't you (&^%$ die before you tell me where you are! Or rather, tell me where you are right now!"

Shinken was about to comment on how no one had taken more than one look at the demented woman's sheaf of hastily scrawled, colofrully worded, rant-filled papers that formed a report that weighed in at an impressive 200 pages. And furthermore, Shinken had made the under jounin inter-country big-shuriken throwing finals for his weight-class back when he was a respectable shinobi, and certainly hurled the lad an impressive distance.

"I don't care how good you say he is, Shizuka. No one's going to make a snipe after just waking up while falling mid-air from that distance."

Indeed, such a feat would be nigh impossible for young Naruto – it simply required too much skill and his effective range to read chakra signatures topped long before the rapidly increasing distance produced by a shear fall.

But he had two things working in his favor. One, his chakra system was more or less back online fully. Two, he carried a rather obscure futon technique in his retinue.

A C-rank dragon to counterpart his B rank Karyuu Endan. Why? Well to stay with the theme of course. And Dragons were so cool. And it was only C-rank because it did not cut. A futon that did not do so was a joke after all. Without the substance of the heavier elements, a wind based push was seldom seen as a pragmatic investment – much less one that required a meaningful charge time and abhorred fan mediums.

But it was flexible. Where his fire dragon would carve a blazing arc, his wind dragon turned almost on a dime and at speeds in excess of any other element. And at certain degrees of power (as the sumo demonstrate) a push can be a rather destructive thing. It was all a matter of having the required force.

Naruto excelled at having the required force.

And if one compressed the form enough – as the wind blade that had caused him grief had done – then well, couldn't one ride it? Is it really all that more difficult than water-walking? No, right?

So he did.

And while sniping from the bottom of the cliff to the top of it was beyond young Naruto and did nothing for his imminent doom...

Making rough adjustments while lining up the shot... from the pinnacle front-row seat in the gaping mouth of his own futon barrelling up at a steep incline towards his enemy at breakneck speeds... was rather easy.

And as for his part, Shinken never knew what hit him.

Hell of a world he lived in, eh?

It was rather fortunate that the trees in this path had been cleaved earlier by the enemy futon, Naruto realized.

It would really suck to hit a tree at these speeds.

He smiled, thinking of his opponent all but plastered beside him in the maw of his futon. "Hey there, buddy!" he mocked through clenched teeth (he didn't want to bite his tongue). "How's the G force treating you?" For Naruto, dealing with such force was routine in his household – mandatory in fact.

Simply launching someone far enough away that they had to hail a horse and carriage to get home had long since been considered as an appropriate way with which to end a discussion in his home.

Otherwise he and his mother might never stop arguing.

Before he let go of the 'reigns' of the jutsu, Naruto forcefully pushed the angle lower and levelled it out. The last thing he needed was to be visable over the tree line for any meaningful amount of time – risky.

Naruto reached over as with his left as he felt the jutsu dying behind him, grabbing the older ninja by the throat as best he could with his smaller hand.

Got you. He thought victoriously.

As Naruto pushed off of the dying wind, falling purposefully to the ground, he trailed his left arm behind him – reared back to slam this foe righteously into the earth.

A crater would doubtlessly be made. His windpipe and quite possibly his spinal cord would need medical attention (fortunately, he was a medic in training). And in the worst case (if the foe was truly tough) Naruto was ready to take the gamble that a point blank God-Hand would outpace any trump card the enemy could pull.

Like an angry deity, he descended – full of fury and barely restrained might. With a roar, he was going to send the enemy straight from 'dazed' to 'crippled'

But wait.

In disbelief, he averted his plan last minute. He hit the ground first and slid the momentum out. Rather than crush his foe, he cradled him.

Because his hand, on the enemy neck, could feel the pulse.

With bioryhthems like these...

He lost consciousness. He's... in shock? I didn't even notice before. The Gs really were too much? Maybe combined with the pain and shock...

He analyzed the man cautiously, weary of a trick. Come to think of it, he was facing the jutsu when it hit. The jaw of my futon was kept curved. If he molded right into it that way, his back might bend back too far. Perhaps he's even paralysed? From the waist down. No, Naruto ran a quick diagnosis iijutsu. From the neck. Whiplash.

That was fine with Naruto. He distanced himself quickly, scanning his surroundings as well as he could and taking solace in the foliage. I'll look at him soon. He should survive on his own for now.

Naruto prayed his comm. was still in one peice – it was. Channel A4, right?

"Come in Prez. Come in Sulk. Come in Lazy."

"Oh thank God!" Naruto had never heard Sakura so relieved. "Get over here!"

"For the last time, those aren't real callsigns!" Sasuke too, despite what he said, had a note of relief. "The sensei's had their comm's targeted by the enemy. They're in an engagement and we have our own problems. What's your ETA." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Naruto sarcastically deadpanned. "Thanks for asking. I just got cut into and tossed around by a giant wind blade, then thrown off a cliff. You know," he glared at the tree in front of him. "everyday stuff. &%+ers. Just what do you think I am?"

"Some kind of human-elephant-zombie combination." Sasuke replied honestly.

"... what?"

"Hinata-chan!" Naruto heard Sakura cry. "Listen, Naruto-kun is – gurk!"

"I'm gurk?" Naruto mused.

"Whoah, Hyuuga!" Sasuke never tried to placate anyone. What was going on over there? "Easy! Back off! Sakura, I told you to stay away from her. Naruto, we're trapped in a barrier with what looks like the goddamn termin-ninja ready to drop in, and we've got one ninja and one dog down. Even if the Inuzika gets his act together, he's at half without his mutt. And because that Hyuuga saw your blood streak on the ground she's been flipping out and attacking the barrier and she stabs everything that gets in her way with her fingers - she's pretty much a write-off. I know you. You want me to keep these weepy, insane, and crippled people alive and fight that damn gorilla-man at the same time just because you saved my life once don't you? Well you want them alive? You come get them while they're alive! Get. Your. Ass. Over. Here!"

Naruto had been moving since he'd heard about the barrier. I guess I'll wait till later to have a look at that missing-nin. Sticking to the foliage was tough, but it was unknown how many reinforcements were around. Damn, that Futon sent me far. Could I risk a toad summon, for a few big leaps to get there? No, that's too risky. "How're the two injured?" he asked.

Sakura responded. "I think Akamaru's front legs are broken. Shino-kun's arm definitely is."

"Fracture, huh?" Not too bad. "Simple? Closed?"

Say simple, say simple, say simple.

"Shino-kun's is compound"

Well, shit.

"And multi-fragmentary."

Double shit! So the guy's bones broke so forcefully that they're out of his arm, and they've also splintered into bits?

That's the worst goddamn kind of broken bone ever.

"I-I stopped the bleeding... S-Somehow… And I bandaged it. It was really sloppy. And I think I – I think I hurt him."

"No. That was great. That's brilliant." Thank god optional first-response classes. "Yeah it hurt, but you saved his life. Try to close... No, leave it open With the debri in the air, it's as infected as it's going to get. Monitor it, steralize it, and keep him stable."

"R-Roger."

"And try to figure that barrier out. I'll be there in five minutes."

He'd have to risk it.

Boar, Dog, Bird, Monkey, Sheep.

Sheep?

Naruto never got to finish his summoning technique. A dark blur shot out from the tree to his right. A deceptively delicate hand clasped his fingers.

"~Wow~"

Naruto's eyes tracked along the outstretched arm. He knew this person. That voice, those purple robes…

"So even Houou-sama," the way she spat his family name out like a curse, "can be snuck up on. Distracted, were you~?"

That grin, which perverted an otherwise highborn and refined facade.

"Shizuka" he swore.

Instantly, Naruto channelled God-Hand (20%) to his elbow. A difficult task and 20% was his max, but to distance himself from this viper?

His hands still clasped together, he thrust an elbow out. Contacting the tree Shizuka was hiding behind, he used the kickback from the explosive force to launch himself from her grasp violently.

He rolled out the force and came to a crouching position, training his eyes on her. He had already latched onto her his quarry's chakra signature.

He wouldn't let her sneak up on him again.

Of all the assassin's he'd met in the past, why did it have to be her? What would it take to ditch this crazy b*tch? How did she even…

He'd left her in traction, under arrest, and on the other side of the world!

Goddamn!

…She was the same as always. Her brown eyes flitted to and fro, as restless as they were sleepless. Those purple robes with gold trims were the robes she had worn in service to her previous lord. Her auburn hair rolled itself ornately behind her head, held in place by a pair of silver chopsticks. Totally out of place for a murderer. But then she was unhinged like that.

As if killing him while dressing up like she had been in the past would let her change history.

She looked ever the refined high-class courtesan she had been, with the exception of one thing. And it had been thanks to that one thing that she no longer was.

That murderous, bat-shit insane look on her face.

"You don't give up, do you Shizuka? You working with these other guys now? I thought you weren't a team player?"

"I threw away my pride already." She yanked her ninja-to roughly from the tree she had lodged it halfway in. "Or rather, you took it away!"

Naruto was mostly focused not on what she'd said but what she'd done. It hadn't been that she'd stabbed it into the tree. She'd slashed it.

Through the majority of the tree.

Naruto brought a hand to his cheek. Blood. Even through his reinforcement. He'd pulled out barely in time. It wasn't force, Naruto decided as she stalked towards him. A surge had come to her actual blade. She'd used the ninja-to as a medium to project some kind of razor thin energy.

"You picked up some new tricks," Naruto observed. He was nervous, as his escape had left him in the open path where the earlier futon had cleared. The felled forms of trees and their respective stumps littered the area and left Naruto in plain sight for any old assassin passerby to pick out.

"All for you~." His stalker caressed the ninja-to lovingly in her hand. "Burst damage" she articulated succulently, savouring it. "Power, concentrated to a fine edge. Enough punch to get through even your damage resistance!" The giggle gave away her insanity. For a murderous speech...

It was far too innocent.

And ended as abruptly as it began. "Houou-sama." She spat as she reached into her robes.. "This time… this time will be different."

Now Naruto was expecting her to come equipped to fight him with a hundred different things. She had in the past.

But what looked like a textbook's worth of bound paper? Not so much. She threw it on the ground at his feet where she knew he would read it.

He did, and his blood ran cold. That… that could very well be a 'game over'.

How to slice, dice, and fry a fischcake (Naruto) by Shizuka Shinome

Sunnovabitch! The psycho-b*tch has intel! Naruto broke left in a dead run. I'll have to run for it!

Quickly, he tapped the comm. by his ear to activate it. "Sasuke, I'm going to be a bit late."

"What? Hell no, Naruto. Get your –"

Naruto glanced over his shoulders. She was gaining. Shit! "Signing off!"

"Don't you hang up on –"

-Click-

"-on me! Naruto? Naruto? Damn it! He hung up on me!"

"Um... Um, Sasuke-kun?"

"How dare he hang up on me!"

"Sasuke-kun!" Very much unlike outer-Sakura (but not much of a stretch for inner) the pink haired kunoichi roughly yanked her crush's head into the appropriate position. "Look!"

There was a pregnant pause as Sasuke drank in the scene.

"Well..." Sasuke uncharacteristically huffed as the gorilla-man perched atop his invisible dome... was not so perched anymore. If 'invisible' could be in liquid form, then there it was. By the contours of the man's muscles as he fell slowly through the air, it was less as if he was falling through the air and more as if he were sinking.

Through not the air, but the invisible barrier therein.

The beast landed not with a thump, but with a feline grace

"Well..." the Uchiha heir became acutely aware of being the only real battle-worthy unit in a field of compromising liabilities. Though there had been times in his past – yesterday in fact – where he would have felt marginally bastard-like abandoning them to look out for number 1, recent developments had forced upon him a certain inconvenient bond called comradery.

Or debt, considering that he owed his hated rival his life.

Either, really.

Sasuke attempted to articulate his complex feelings about this into words, and did so with the maximum amount of emotion that his cold, depressed, under-used heart could muster. "Well... shit."

"Sakura, I want you to extract everyone. Pull out." Sasuke ordered.

"Umm... I would really, really like to Sasuke-kun," Sakura admitted, looking at the terrifying ninja that was A. an adult and B. a really scarred up, scary looking, monolithic steroid-popper, "but there's kind of an invisible impenetrable wall that's split our spacetime away from other spacetime." She reminded.

"It's penetrable." Sasuke scowled. "He got in. You find a way out. Use that head of yours."

Nervously, because she really wasn't prepared to be any more counted on than she had been already today, Sakura nodded.

Kiba rose silently, his eyes glued to the form of his injured and unconscious comrade.

Specifically, his eyes focused on the uninjured arm cradled protectively to his chest.

The arm that even now held dearly, like a child, the wounded Akamaru.

Understanding what he should do – what he must do – Kiba strode up to Sasuke's side. "Count me in."

"You'll just get in my –"

"Count..." His eyes were like smouldering coal. Quiet until ignition. Eager for incineration. Waiting... just waiting to rage. "Me. In."

Sasuke was struck.

What focus. What a total absence of fear in the way that he holds himself – there is no room for it with all of the hate he contains. What terror I feel, even I, when I see his inconsolable fury. This... yes...

This is... an avenger. Similar to how I will look when I face my brother... How... respectable.

Naruto scrambled through the underbush. For a normal Konoha shinobi, their home field advantage towards dodging all the clutter of the forest might give them the speed advantage to outpace their pursuers.

But Naruto... had never lived in Konoha. And evidentially, Shizuka's longer legs would win her the chase long before Naruto could outlast her.

Smokescreen with Bunshin? No, her senses are too sharp. Kage-Bunshin? That's... a gamble. If we split up I don't have the skill to recover the chakra over distance. Halve... third... No. Too risky.

Here she comes. Okay! I'll need to make this quick.

Naruto entered a slide as he stopped his frantic running, resigned to requiring some additional... damage before he could shake this particular foe. His most familiar ranged technique came as a blur of hand movements. "Katon!" echoed within Naruto's mind, the invocation of the technique begun. Behind his eyelids he saw briefly while blinking... that familiar visage of the ferocious hallucination that always came at his bidding. His fire dragon. "Karyuu-" Deep breath.

But it was not to be. Naruto felt his breath cut short. Brutally. A booted heel thrust powerfully into his chest by way of flying-kick.

Appearently her dedication to historic apparel did not include her footwear

"No breath," Shizuka hissed, "no fire. Right?"

Shit! Counterattack...!

But Naruto's clumsy flail was not to connect. The assassin left as she came, swiftly and skilfully.

She danced outside his reach. "I know everything about you!"

The hunted youth's mind raced. She's got longer reach. And fights like goddamn a wasp! And that technique she cut me with earlier... I need some space!

Naruto struck at his assailant with a half-charged left God-hand, rifling through his right pocket with his other hand.

Shizuka dodged, of course, but evidently she hadn't expected him to waste his energy after recognizing the miss because the shockwave of power he pushed into the air actually threw her footing off.

By the time she collected herself, she was enveloped in smoke.

"I know everything about you, Naru-chan but I never took you for a coward!" Shizuka screamed at the smoke.

Even though he carried smoke bombs, Naruto knew his stealth-skills were sorely lacking.

He would need to capitalize, and ran through a short sequence of hand seals as he leapt within the massive smoke field onto a near tree branch. I need... something quick! Landing heavily on a tree branch, he spun quickly in place, arm held out. "Futon!" Oh, Wind. My dragon. The swift and kind. Oh gypsy of the air currents... The billowing smoke around him spun as he did, quickly forming to the familiar – almost kind – face of Naruto's wind Dragon as the one-story beast trailed after the boys' fingertips.

Followed, until they stopped.

He hadn't a choice. It was either stop, or lose his arm. A glowing ninja-to, pulsing with restrained energy ensured that.

"I didn't believe it when I heard it, but you really do need to lead it don't you? You lead the air to make the wind. And if you stop then... well, wind that's stopped is just... air."

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit! How is she moving like that? I know the way that she moved. I sensed her. But that clutz getting that fast... Hell, she's toying with me!

No. Rather...where in the hell..."Where in the hell did you get all this information?" Naruto demanded.

A mad grin was his response.

It was lame. It was sad. It was another handful of smoke bombs dropped into the floor and a simple Godhand to bring the entire tree down to give him room to escape.

"Losing your sight won't hurt someone with chakra sense like yours!" Shizuka chimed through the smoke. Her voice dropped an octave. "Or hearing like mine."

As Naruto, quite frankly, ran for his life, he couldn't help but curse his luck. And Shizuka. Give me a break! She was always a mismatch for me with her speed, reach, and ignorance of fear but at least she was an idiot!

Goddamn!

No... wait, she's still an idiot...

Still obsessed.

Still scared witless of reality.

She's just a well-read idiot.

I... I see.

Heh, gotcha. Shizuka, you might have the weaknesses of all my techniques but I... I have the weakness of your heart.

I can win this.

A/N:

I have a grand announcement to make:

I would like to announce that my muse (there's an actual person that I pitch ideas to) otherwise known as Alexander Mickey Lowe has written two songs! "Eli Eli" is a pretty religious Christian song and "Something out of nothing" is to a much lesser extent, and in fact can be seen as secular. They're being sung by Claudelle Clarke and they've made their way onto her Christian and Gospel CD, "The Journey". Unfortunately I don't think the CDs are being released in Canada and I cannot post the link to the site's that host the music for online download purchases properly due to document manager reasons. I put spaces in it so that it would post, so if you put this into your web-browser's adress bar (the http thing) after deleting the spaces it will take you there. Or, you could put it in like that and it will pull up a search with the page as a link (probably)

Go here: http:/cluster . indie-music . com/Claudelle _ Clarke/music. php

to listen and/or download the song. I can't say much about Eli Eli – I'm an agnostic – but "Something out of nothing" is really deep and interesting and it's pretty much my favorite song ever (in my slightly biased opinion).

So I didn't make the Halloween deadline. Classes, lack of drive, ect. But this is on time for Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

I have a second grand announcement to make:

I have decided to separate my omake from my story into separate uploads. Honestly, it's because I would like more attention paid to my actual story! I appreciate that people like my omake but I don't actually pay much attention to them. Besides, they are so pervasive that I might as well do them separately.

Also, it's easier to time it for me. I can write omake without writing a story for it. I can write a chapter without writing an omake for it. Joy. Separate release dates, and possibly more smooth release times.

You can find it from my author's page.

Regular A/N:

Erm, the cliffhanger... well it's unavoidable. Look, it's at 8,822 words and the fight scene would be...

Yeah, needed a chapter break.

Courtesean: A woman prostitute, especially one whose clients are members of a royal court or men of high social standing.

Shizuka's profession as a courtesian? I'm not going to get into what it did or didn't mean to be a courtesan in Japan... because this is the Naruto-verse! I exercise my author's license to have the culture be what I need it to be for my story. For Shizuka's history.

Favorite line sequence:

"Euthanasia. That's murder."

"It's suicide."

It's murder. Kind murder.

- Note: this doesn't express my personal views on euthanasia (I don't have any). It's Naruto's

The next chapter is battle-scene pretty much. As for the time? I would like to release for new years but that looks unlikely. Somewhere around January perhaps?

Please Review.



Chapter 17: Chapter 17



Disclaimer: I don't own the official Naruto. But my ideas are mine.



Sakura watched in advanced concern as she quickly made sure that her downed comrade was stable. Hang in there Shino-kun...

Now, if all went well they would all survive. Or all die, apparently.

The foe was simply too buffed with chakra. He seemed indestructible. She watched in awe as Sasuke-kun performed a beautiful aerial flying-axe kick to the man's face, and in horror as it seemed her crush had left the experience with a broken heel. And with muscles like that, even without actually reinforcing the muscle, every graze the goliath sent felt like a punch. It was like... like watching an even tougher, more experienced Naruto-kun.

So with a start, Sakura realized: who better to advise them?

"Naruto-kun! We need some intel!"

"I'm kind of busy here! Turn off! Shit! F*ck! Damnit Shizuka, what's your beef with me, anyway? Even when you were sane, you were crazy to think you'd get away with the shit you pulled! Bunshin-no-Jutsu! Naruto Flipkick! Godhand!"

There was the expected 'boom' coming from the other line, and the sound of something that sounded like the ground breaking, followed by illegitimate screaming.

There was the sound of a terrific explosion and a colourful string swearwords she was (unfortunately) familiar with. "Okay, I think I hid myself for a bit with that one...Now if only that gave me an opportunity to do an actual jutsu without her tracing and cancelling the shit out of me."

What, he hid himself with an explosion? "Naruto-kun! It's serious! There's someone here that's just like you! But they're even tougher, bigger, and stronger! What do we do?"

"Easy. You wake the hell up."

"Be serious!"

"I am! Check for genjutsu. Look, I'm kind of in the middle of something so I don't have time – Even if the guy is really that tough, Sasuke can take me in a spar half the time right? If he can handle that then if he cuts loose, you'll be fine. Just back him up and tell him to stop dicking around, pull out the mortal jutsu, and take the shot!"

A chill ran up and down Sakura's spine as she heard the connection shut off.

Hold back? The words echoed in her mind. Cut loose? N-No... Sasuke-kun has, since his very first fight with Naruto-kun, never even once bothered to hold back and holds a 50-50 record. But Naruto-kun... all... all this time, he really expects me to believe that he was...? I... I can never tell this to Sasuke-kun. And I can never explain it to Naruto-kun either. It would be terrible. But... then someone stronger than that... no, even someone just as strong...

"Naruto-kun! He's like an Iron wall. And Sasuke-kun," isn't as strong as you think, "he's injured! He can't fight at your – the way you think he can!"

"..."

"Sensei?"

"Look, I have to go!"

"But sensei!"

"If it's not a diamond wall, don't bother me! Who the hell's student are you? Didn't I say? Pull the mortal jutsu!"

Her?

Sakura didn't even notice the connection cut off again.

Her? She had the best theory and the worst practical scores. She was... fairly sure this was a practical matter. And she was just a normal girl. Just normal...

The – the same excuse. Had she not grown at all? Had she not, for herself as much as for Sasuke-kun...?

She wasn't like the scrolls he'd given her, normal looking with a terrible secret hidden inside. Sakura didn't have anything inside – well, aside from inner-Sakura, but she wasn't really any better as a fighter.

She was a normal girl that had always been a normal girl.

Although... as she looked at the second and far less volatile piece of equipment he had given her – an old Acadamy standard-issue fountain pen... Maybe Naruto had given her a way to be special. Through this.

If she believed in it.

Sakura, look. We're going on a mission tomorrow and you know, maybe it might get a little rough out there so I'm going to give you this to help you out.

What do you have for me?

Well, I guess you could say it's something like... training wheels, you know? It's this.

That's... a pen.

Yes.

Is it like the scrolls? Is it something in disguise?

It's a transformation pen. Like in those manga you won't shut up about. "Henshin, Pretty Princess!" or whatever.

You expect me to believe that? It even has the academy motto on it. It's just a pen. I have one just like it in my... actually this is my pen! You're just returning the one I lent you, you jerk!

Except now it's a special pen. You have to use what you have Sakura. If you're naturally slow and strong, don't do speed training. Do training to use your strength to cover your speed. If you're smart and weak, don't go around building muscle, you have to use what feels natural. You have to be you. Tell me again how you feel before an exam?

Nervous I guess. My palms get all sweaty. My heart races and adrenaline kicks in. I start worrying about whether I'm ready or not, or what I'll do if I don't know the answers, and I even feel nauseous. Is... Is that wierd?

Hell yeah.

Naruto!

Well it is. I mean, that sounds just like how I feel before a fight. You treat books like I treat weights, pop-quizzes like I treat ambushes, and exams like I treat war.

... Well. I... Well, I don't know Naruto-kun, it's just... what I do, you know? It's like... my thing.

I'm not making fun of you Sakura, I'm giving you a transformation pen. You can do it Sakura. Two exams per course, twice a year. Five courses in four years. Eighty times, Sakura? Eighty exams? Eighty wars? You don't need me to teach you how to fight. You've fought plenty. So much that you have will and focus and guts to spare. You just need the right tools and this transformation pen, that's all.

Um, you really think so?

Sure.

... No one's ever believed in me like that. I'm just a braniac resource to them. Thanks...

No problem

... But really, Naruto-kun? A magical girl? I don't see the connection.

I never said what it transformed you into.

Okay. I'll bite. What will I transform into?

Well how the hell should I know?

Wha – what do you mean, 'how should you' – Did you really think this through?

Hey, why would I need to know? When you know then that's when you'll know it's worked. I spent all night figuring this out for you Sakura. Trust me, it's good. It's real. You have to trust or it won't work.

"Okay... Okay, I'll try, Naruto-kun." Sakura gulped. Sasuke received a brutal elbow to the face, and went flailing to the ground. Kiba's half-learned Getsuuga failed to even make the distance to his opponent before running wildly out of control. At this rate, they would all be dead in five minutes. "I'll believe it. I'll be something I've never been in my life – I will be special."

She swallowed the bitter urge to throw up at the prospect of taking on the gorilla of a foe that had almost finished laying waste to the rookie-of-the-year, Sasuke.

"Here... Here goes. I'll be special – No, I don't think I have a choice but to be special."

"I used to be special! I used to be something! I used to have someone special to me! For me! You ruined my life!"

What the hell was she even saying? Did she believe herself? Naruto dodged a low swipe by leaping high to an overhead tree branch, hoping to start at least a weak jutsu to serve as a distraction while he ran and hid like a chicken. "Karyu- gurk!"

Didn't work out. She was just too damn relentless.

They had crossed paths... how many times was it now?

"You bastard! I'll never forgive you!" In the hot sands of Wind Country, on a visit to the sand siblings.

"Forgive me for what? What the hell are you after me for? I didn't break you up with him! All I did was save a life!"

The woman dashed forwards, heedless of her expensive kimono outfit, with what appeared to be a kitchen knife in hand. "I need to kill you. I need to kill you to make things right!"

Then, she tripped over a sand dune. Naruto didn't even think that was possible, but whatever. Upon inspection, she was dehydrated enough from stupidly (or crazily) chasing him down across a desert without provisions, shade, rest, or any kind of anti-heat training, that she could have tripped over just about anything.

In one of the improvised 'for the poor' charity stands his family had done for Water Country...

"Hey there, what are your symptoms?"

"I don't have money."

"I didn't ask for any."

"Is this your idea of cleansing your sins?"

"...what? Well, I don't really have something like that in mind when I do this, no."

"Doctor, I have this pain in my chest."

"That's very serious. Let me –"

"It's heartbreak."

"What the...Even if you say 'heartbreak', I'm a medic in training not a wise-woman. What do you expect me to do here?"

"Please, doctor," the hooded woman reached out. Her nails were manicured, her hands soft and delicate to the touch as they longingly caressed his face. Naruto caught a flash of purple, rolled underneath the ragged cloak she was wearing, and something glinted out of the corner of his eye. "If you would just die-"

"What're you doing to Houou-sama? Get her!" Then, Shizuka was dogpiled by the poor.

Naruto had never seen anything so vicious in his life.

"Huh? Nee-chan, where'd that wakazashi come from?"

"...What wakazashi?"

"That one you – hey, where'd it go?"

"Um...I... don't know what you're talking about. What are we going to do about her?"

"I think," Tsunade discreetly hid what looked an awful lot like a tricked-out scalpel, "we should just loot her and use the money to buy more soap and shoes for these people."

"That's terrible!"

"She tried, however ineffectively, to hurt Naru-chan!" Tsunade shot back. And honestly, she was sitting right here. What had her reputation become that people actually thought that she couldn't just pluck other people out of mid-stab and stab them to death instead... with her pinky?

"When you put it like that, well it's for a good cause."

In any number of any random places, because she was literally too impatient to wait.

Naruto rounded on the panting woman. Here, halfway across the largest desert in the world...

How the hell did she find him? Or rather: "...How do you keep escaping from jail?"

"I'm going to stab you until I kill you from it!" She stabbed him...

With her finger nails.

They all broke of course. "F*ck! My nails!"

Naruto sighed and backhanded her at his leisure, crumpling her like a ragdoll. "Am I, like, supposed to give them a tip or something? Why can't they keep her locked up? And you, stop whining about the side-effects and take those meds I – oh, you're unconscious."

For how many years had this chase of cat-and mouse been going on, with the mouse taking the cat to school quite thoroughly?

Now, at last, the hunter had grown fangs.

Keeping about one metre of distance, Shizuka danced around him almost literally. Her limbs were loose, her style uncoordinated. With one good hit he could outright splatter her lithe and supple (for a ninja) frame, but adhering to a certain distance gave her confidence that any move he made, with his comparatively lacking taijutsu skill and shorter reach, she would have ample time to respond. She moved languidly and almost sensually around his counterattacks – incorporating, no doubt, some of the conditioning of her previous profession.

Dashing forwards, she utilized her entire upper body in a twisting motion, swiping her ninja-to in an attempt to slash Naruto across the eyes – only to be foiled with a back-step (he'd been doing too much of that this fight). Far from done, Shizuka stepped in with her left and brought the arm holding the ninja-to forwards in a beautiful elbow-strike. Her back leg pushed her forwards powerfully while her upper body which had twisted clockwise in the first strike, leaned into him and now uncoiled into what was probably her objective all along.

To a normal genin, the precision strike would have collapsed their nose.

Naruto was barely stunned.

Of course, that didn't mean a little stun wasn't enough – even as Shizuka threw herself backwards away from counterattack reach, she raked her ninja-to past his neck as she went. It flashed briefly with an azure glow, and a crimson line was left in its wake.

Then she smiled, licked the blade of blood (in a manner that might have perved certain other people out), and danced some more. Rinse, repeat...

Shallow. Naruto breathed a sigh. Another shallow one. No big deal.

But he was littered with shallow ones. In fact he had quite a large collection lot of 'little deals'. His pristine white ensemble now looked like a red-and-white tie-die attire.

Well, it would if people tie-died with blood. And he didn't dare take time to try to heal himself beyond the customary shinobi response (Small cuts? Pah. A little chakra and it'll clot in seconds). At least he only spent a few seconds actually bleeding.

Well, a lot of 'just a few seconds'. He was getting... a little tired.

What's this style she's using?

She telegraphed where she was going to hit fairly well, but all her strikes incorporated the whole body as well as the strength of momentum and she was too fast for him to do anything. And even that was all an attempt to create an opening for her ninja-to. Then she pulled back.

The cuts were shallow so far, she was restraining her use of the technique...

She probably didn't have the chakra to actually use that cutting technique of hers very often. She wanted to make it count.

And she wanted to play with her food a little.

No, the real reason she hadn't sliced him up like terryaki-on-rice was probably the most obvious.

She couldn't.

From the start, she had been focussing her chakra to her back and leg muscles when striking with her hands, and her back and shoulder muscles when striking with her legs. Her style still used those muscles to add a great deal of power to her blows, but they weren't the limbs that he needed to dodge. He wasn't a goddamn uchiha, sensing the contortion of back muscles didn't automatically translate into a damn thing for him.

His eyes weren't the sharpest. They just simply, physically, weren't. But his chakra senses ranked amongst the best, and Shizuka seemed to want to keep his perception half-blurred. Her ninja-to as well, could not produce a serious charge without a serious charge time. As soon as that happened, it would light up like a Christmas tree.

Though he was retreating from her advances, he was not investing his chakra fully in defence – what he had invested was enough to handle her taijutsu only – that insane ninja-to technique was probably beyond even his best. Naruto kept a large amount back, waiting on a hair trigger. Just... just waiting for that one chance that would change everything... If she would just take that gamble, if she would just overextend even once!

But she wouldn't.

She was going to whittle him down.

... It really was safe to guess that she knew everything – everything – about him.

Then...

Naruto attempted a technique his mother had taught him only recently. By expelling an enormous amount of chakra into the ground as if preparing to anchor against the kickback of Godhand, then actually pulling the chakra back up to a thin but condensed layer the point where he was practically reinforcing the ground, Naruto prepared himself.

Shizuka, who had been dashing into him, immediately backpedalled far out of reach. Damn! Her intel's that recent? Then, my how about my own variation?

Rather than slamming a godhand fist into the ground and using the plate he'd made there, reflect the force into a 360 degree shockwave, Naruto feinted the act and at the last moment planted his palms instead. "God-Hand: Leaptoad!" Named after a very popular Gama-clan game. And no, it's not leapfrog. It's leaptoad. Those frog guys were just copycats.

In fact, much like a toad Naruto used the plate instead to bounce himself into the air – leaptoading five meters above Shizuka's head and twenty meters beyond her.

Now's my chance! Ah, yes! A spring! Things are finally turning around.

This is the only technique I haven't tried yet.

Of course there had been a reason he hadn't tried this technique yet. That reason being... it was longer than all get-out, damnit.

Ox, Monkey, Rabbit, Rat, Boar, Bird, Ox, Horse, Bird, Tiger, Dog, Tiger, Snake, Ox, Sheep, Snake, Pig, Sheep, Ox, Monkey, Bird, Dragon, Ox, Horse, Sheep, Tiger, Snake, Rat, Ox, Monkey, Bird... Rat, Boar, Monkey, Dragon, Bird, Ox, Horse, Sheep, Tiger, Snake, Rat, Monkey, Rabbit, Boar, Dragon, Ox, Rat, Ox, Monkey, Bird, Rat, Boar, Bird.

"Suiton: Suiryuuda...What?" She hadn't even done anything. She was simply walking through the forest towards him, cheshire grin in place. His beautiful serpentine dragon, which he could have coiled around him into a fantastic defensive boon to let him plan something out, was simply... not coming.

But... But there was a spring! There! Right ******ifiably there! What the monkey ******!

Languidly, his assailant pushed her delicate fore and middle fingers into her breast pocket, retrieving a small white pouch between them. Sweetly upending it on the floor, again the only thing that ruined her refined facade was the devilish glee on her face.

Naruto saw the white substance hit the grassy floor. He immediately felt that he'd swallowed something sour. Of all the... "...salt?"

"Sea-salt to be precise, milord~" Shizuka corrected, demurely retied the bag as she snarled at her quarry, "You know, the kind you find on a shelf in the supermarket."

"...Sea-salt? When your group was setting the ambush, you – you poured sea salt into all the water around here, knowing that I can only manage jutsu with freshwater? That actually ****ing works? Of all the *** faced ******! Just who's **** did you **** to get all of this **** ****able, **********ing info? This is total bullshit!"

"No one's! I'm a one-person item, and I'm taken by Todai-sama! You'd be surprised who wants you dead, 'Houou-sama'!"

"Yeah right, you dirty whore!"

Naruto... didn't know much about love. His uncle was unconcerned with it, and his mother and sister seemed to have conflicting and probably totally wrong views of it anyway.

But he knew more than he cared for about lust. And about the red light district. It was hard to hang around his uncle and not pick up information here or there.

So...

As soon...

As soon as he'd said it, he knew he had done something wrong.

Or right.

He hadn't had enough time to think this fight out yet.

But something had changed in Shizuka.

"Dirty?" She echoed. "What the **** did you just call me?" She pressed, angrily. "Dirty whore? Is that what you think, Houou-sama? You foul-mouthed bastard! I'm – I'm not a dirty whore. I'm a clean whore!" Shizuka screeched, her tone losing its sense of control. Her ninja-to, held so supply until now, was clenched in a tight fist. "There's a difference!"

This, Naruto thought as the woman charged him again with a sweeping low-kick to flip-kick combination, this might not be bad. She really is the same as ever, under all the preparation. I need to draw out the old Shizuka more. I need to break out of her scenario!

"At least I was, before you ruined that for me!" She threw herself fully into her assault, zipping in and out of his range at random angles like a mad super-bouncy-ball.

Angry one second, teasing the next, it's not like she's bipolar or anything (that I could maybe manage). She was just hiding it. She was just keeping it bottled. All for the sake of her plan. But I know her. Plans, victory, all of it...

It all takes second place to her precious delusions.

The two exchanged a flurry of blows – of course only Shizuka's landed. But Naruto reached closer than before. A kimono sleeve was barely in touch with his fingertips, before slipping away like a minnow. Naruto swore, and directed his frantic backpedalling back to the open area that had been cleaved by merit of the wind fang earlier.

"And now you're not a whore at all!" Naruto shot back as he flipped backwards over one of the many and enormous fallen logs of the area. "Isn't that better?" he yelled, kicking the log he'd jumped over powerfully before he even landed – sending it careening towards the chasing Shizuka.

"What do you know?" Rather than follow her quarry over the log, she unwisely wasted the energy to bisect it and pressed forwards – displaying again the godly edge of her technique. "I wasn't just any whore, I was a courtesan!"

"Bullshit!" Naruto shot back, taking cover behind a broad tree against a barrage of shuriken. He yelled back around the bark: "'Courtesan' means you're invited to *$%^&ing court! He kept you at home Shizuka! You were a pet!"

"Shut up! I was something!" The more and more fanatic woman screamed, cleaving another obstacle in her path to vindication. "I was Todai-sama's favorite! He was going to marry me!"

"Kage-Bunshin!" Naruto didn't use the technique much – it was rough on his reserves even when the clones remained close. But it was as quick as a bunshin to get off, and he needed an edge against that ninja-to. "How is that even possible, Shizuka?" The clones feinted, switched directions, and with the original formed a beautiful three-pronged triangle formation. "He was already married!"

"Shut up! He was going to leave her for me!" Shizuka knew, too, how to counteract the Kage-bunshin. To begin with, in low numbers it was easy to keep track of the real. The fakes would fall easily to swift, low chakra attacks and so all she needed to do was prioritise speed over strength and break through one side. With a swift fient-to-overhead hammerblow that wouldn't have phased the real but disintegrated the clone, she pushed forwards and out of her pincer situation. When she turned to face her pursuers, she cleaved the real with a powerful chakra-laden ninja-to slash. "Die!"

Only to find that in the brief time she hadn't been looking, the real had switched sides with the fake. The clone dissipated and the enemy closed in on her blade, catching it in his palms when her swing was finished and at its slowest. "You bastard!" she snarled.

Naruto intended to brake that blade come hell or high water, but judging from what it could do it wouldn't be a simple material to destroy. He tried it the easy way, disarming her by yanking the blade away. Yet still with mind enough to realize she could do shit all to her hated foe without that weapon, Shizuka closed as well and prepared to charge another blade of energy.

A woman with a lethal weapon in her hands and a boy who's hands were lethal weapons.

Both with fine enough chakra sense to read when the other would make their move, and attempt to pre-empt and counter.

Deadlocked.

Face-to-face. Naruto could smell her perfume.

With his numerous shallow lacerations, she could smell his blood - it was so close!

Naruto frowned. "What's this fight about Shizuka?"

"You took that witch's side." The assassin snarled back. "You helped her drive Todai-sama away from me! The witch got herself taken care of, so now I'm here to take care of you! With you gone, he'll take me back! I just want him back!"

Of all the ridiculous, insane, deluded reasons! In his anger, Naruto almost forgot he had the woman's sword in his hands. "What the hell, Shizuka! All I did was cure a poison case!" He scowled. "You tried to off her! He ditched you because you were flipping out! And killing me has nothing to do with -"

"Her spell –"

"She wasn't a witch. That spell's called marriage! Don't you get it? You were his number two!"

.

.

.

It was the truth, and he was fighting for his life anyways. He needed desperately to throw her off her game. But still...

Why did he have this feeling of regret? It was like he had struck a blow to her soul. His intent was to bait her weak emotions into a confusion, but her brief vapid look staggered his own heart. He swore at his weakness, when she slipped the blade out of his loose grasp and lept back away.

Running from him? Or from the truth?

Panic set in. Desperation too. She had to kill him. She had to. It would ease her. It wold fix things. It would!

It had to!

She cut herself in her haste, when she palmed a handful of shuriken from her kimono to lead off with.

"You think you know?" Rage took her, and she let it for it eased her heart pangs. "You don't know what it's like! You don't know anything! I love him!"

"You mean loved,Shizuka!" Naruto shot back, diving away from the hurled shuriken and rolling out the force of what he could only think of as an improvised, momentum-added, wrestling move of a double flying kick. She's gotten sloppy. "Past tense, Shizuka!" Having a bit extra distance, Naruto palmed another tree-trunk. It was literally too big to get a proper grip on, but by applying chakra to stick to it and using herculean finger-strength to make finger holes for himself as he grabbed it, he swung the mighty redwood around. "He's–"

"You shut your (*%^$ mouth! You lying, fitly little shit!" Shizuka replied even as she lept to the tree-trunk, intending to sprint down its length and sever the head of her hated (and occupied) opponent.

"Rasengan!"

Naruto let go of the tree with his lower hand and, with essentially an entire tree to mask the movement, slammed a spiralling A-Rank sphere of power into the tree-trunk itself. Naruto's remaining grip on the tree disappeared – his arm flung off – when the entire trunk began to twist on itself, splintering and groaning as the spiraling energy worked its way up the trunk.

"You can't surprise me!" To prove it, Shizuuka leapt off of the trunk, dismounting it before her footing could twist apart painfully underneath her. "I know you!"

For Naruto, time screeched to a halt. Massive adrenaline boosts could do that to a person. Because this was it. There, the critical error at last. She hadn't lept to a higher tree. She hadn't angled to reach the ground with any speed. She'd simply... hopped off. For the entire battle, what she had used as her sole armor was... her superior speed and her control of distance. Now, simply hanging there in the air, as if waiting – just waiting – to be plucked out... she had briefly given up both.

In this slow motion, Shizuka's high-quality Suna-spun kimono sleeves trailed beautifully behind her. She looked like a descending goddess. For a change, her face lost its twist of malice, swapped for a look of surprise suited to a woman much more innocent than her. She looked, once more and finally... like a lady.

And it was then that Naruto tackled her from the air.

In panic, she attempted to use her ninja-to's technique with maximum strength – that was a mistake. He was expecting it and it lit up her entire left arm like a flare on the chakra-plane.

Naruto could feel its approach down to the millimeter. He caught the wrist channeling such power to the blade easily. With a yank, he forced her to thrust it into the ground where the energy died an ineffectual death, then roughly pinned her hand.

"It works both ways, Shizuka. I know you too."

With some effort, he captured her other wrist and though his hands were smaller he then, leaning over her and coincidentally placing them exactly face-to-face, pinned both wrists above her head with one hand. He was smaller, but Naruto's ability to ground himself allowed him to stick himself to the forest floor with such force that as a clamp, nothing could do better. Her kicks to the back of his head, without momentum, a limited range of movement, and a lack of other muscles being in a position to aid, were totally ignorable.

A look graced the refined woman's face, as her attempts to dislodge him met with utter failure. The look he'd seen what seemed now like a hundred times. The look of loss... It was times like this that he really could believe that her 'revenge' on him was her real, entire world. It seemed to her a profound defeat.

And in that moment, a watershed moment, Naruto's anger at this thorn in his side that he just couldn't seem to ever get rid of... dissipated. In its place: pity.

He was a medic-nin, when all was said and done. He wasn't to hold madness against people. He was supposed to help them.

And he remembered again, why he always made sure she was looked after in her prison.

"Shizuka..." Naruto began, sadly. "You need help."

"Don't you start that again! I'll be fine with you dead!"

"Listen," the squirming and thrashing was pointless but sidetracking. Naruto forcefully pushed Shizuka down by her shoulder to quiet her. "Listen to me! You have a chemical imbalance!"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"

"It's called –"

"I don't care!"

"I'm not going to say..." Naruto licked his lips. He found that it was cut, much like the rest of him, when he tasted metal. "...that your feelings are all coming from – from what you have..." He was walking the line between professional medic-ism and tired ninja. As compassionately as one could say something like this, he said the following: "I'm sure that under all the chemicals, you're really just a violent, annoying, denial-filled bitch. But that's not the point. It... changes things Shizuka. It's like being drunk. You're just not seeing things right. Is that how you want to make your life decisions? Drunk off your rocker? Do you think doing all this – this crap is that great? Is it going to do anything for you?" Naruto pressed. Shizuka turned her face away.

The Houou heir frowned, and resolved to try a different approach. She had to want to get better. No amount of pills would stick until then. "You couldn't have gotten so fast in such a short time naturally. Being a steroid guinie-pig, Shizuka? I thought your body was your pride and joy. Does that make sense? And you don't have the precision to pull that trick you do with a ninja-to. That blade must be, what, water crystal? Money like that, you could have bought a house with change enough to start over."He didn't understand it. Even if she was crazy, it was too much. "A new life." Too sad. "How can it be worth it? If I don't throw you in jail, are you going to have a roof tonight? And... And I have tabs out on you, you know. You didn't turn any heads in and for that much Shizuka, you sure as hell weren't selling flowers." There was a deathly silence. Her struggles ceased, her breath hitched. And though she had been prepared to kill him messily, Naruto despite himself regretted that one sentence alone. "Listen, don't you want things to – to start making sense all the time again?"

"Todai-sama! Todai-sama!"

"Shizuka..." endless pity, for he'd looked into her past over the years.

He'd spent his whole life a stranger wherever he went. But he'd been a stranger with company – with family. Here, was a woman truly alone. A girl taken off the streets, given a farce of a home, a diet of lies, and a fake of a future. Reared like a horse, dressed like a doll, played like a flute, and left for dead. In her denial, she'd committed a heinous crime, but only after her mind had been fractured by the victim. "Shizuka, Todai's not coming for you."

"Todai-sama!"

Naruto sighed bitterly. "He can't come, Shizuka," For her, he had endless... endless pity. Because she was... "You killed him."

Endlessly alone.



A/N:

The last three lines are my favorite for this chapter. Possibly ever. I lurve it.

I know I said january, but it's near january, and that's all that matters.

My quality isn't what I'd like. That is because I don't have time to spend polishing the story much, because I'm in university.

Also, the Document Manager on has been a real ***ch lately.

No omake this time. Well hey though, I did a new years omake without doing a chapter so it all evens out (for those that don't know about the 'Extras and Omake section' you can find it from my author's page).

Expect the next chapter late febuary/early march.

Expect a Valentines Day Omake if I get enough reviews. But not reviews for tsunade's heir. Reviews for my Beta's Song. Five reviews of the song and I'll do a Valentines Day Omake. However, they are gospel songs. Something out of Nothing is practically not religeious but Eli Eli definitely is. So if you don't like Christianity, you've been warned. It will obviously be about valentines day, Naruto, Temari, and Hinata. Information on how to find the song and how to review the song is on my author's page, which you can find by clicking "funkmasterjo" at the top of this steps people, go to the link provided in my author's page and listen to Something out of Nothing or Eli Eli (Something out of nothing is better.), then go to my forum topic (also provided on my author's page) and you can leave a review there about the content of the song (My beta is the writer, not the singer). Just like this story, anything as much as an "I liked it" is fine. If you don't want to post in the forum, then you can PM me, review this story and talk about the song, or even email me. Just as long as I can get it so that I can pass it on.

Courtesians originally were named that because they served 'in court'.

Basically, Shizuka was a street urchin taken in by a noble in her youth, and molded into something she thought resembled a Geisha. In reality she was just used as a somewhat classy prostitute the noble didn't have to pay for.

Next time is Sakura's magical (not really) transformation, wherein she saves the day with her Magical Ninja Powers. Then Naruto swoops in and... and I wonder what?

Please Review.



Chapter 18: Chapter 18



Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but my ideas are mine



It was mad. The world was mad. Kiba, Shino, Akamaru, and Sasuke-kun… they hadn't done anything wrong.

They were just taking a ride in a simple caravan, peacefully, and then violence swept down and ripped that peace to shreds.

No warning, no fairness. Not from the world to her friends.

And… not from her to her friends.

I… what am I doing? What am I even doing? When everyone else is trying so hard! Am I not a ninja? I have been trained for this. I have run simulations! Is this headband I wear not a mark of competence?

Aren't all my studies, all my lessons, worth shit?

I… no… it's me. My studies didn't betray me. I betrayed my studies.

I'll do it. If the whole world's gone insane, then I'll bet on the one insane thing that's on my side.

Sakura turned, facing the situation. Sasuke was panting heavily and even Sakura could discern that something wasn't quite right with his right leg. Kiba fared even worse.

She remembered the ridiculous thing Naruto wanted her to do.

"Listen Sakura, this is the activation phrase for your magic pen. But remember, you have to really get into it. And don't hit me when I tell you, because I'm serious about this. Believe. The phrase is-"

"Attention students," Sakura whispered, "this exam is ten minutes long. Check that you aren't missing any pages. You will not be excused for the duration and no questions will be answered."

It was a crazy piece of advice, but this whole situation was cazy. Kiba the class fool, but always tough and lively, panted through his bloodless. Sasuke, the prince of school whom had always been the unsurpassed, was barely holding his own in the tail end of a clear battle of futility.

Shino lay before her, and Akamaru beside him. They looked so unnatural, as marionetts with their strings rudely cut.

Overwhelming need drove her imagination, and kneeling on the dusty road, Sakura saw her familiar desk in a vision before her. The paper lay bare, empty but full of possibilities.

"You may begin… now." Her hand fell with the pen, purposeful, and stopped exactly upon the air where her imaginary paper was. Her mind was a swim with possibilities. Multiple approaches and supporting theories, hammered into her mind the way others hammered taijutsu into their bodies, were considered and amended in multiples in the time it took to fill in the 'Name:_' and 'ID#:_' sections.

And all the tension, all the nausea, the self disgust, doubt, and fear.

…Melt away.

Just like always.

Because, well, it was test time. The world was there, but then it wasn't. Who gave a shit what the person beside her was doing? What the birds were doing outside the window? This was between her and the test and anything that detracted from that could just go to hell then.

"Question one," she whispered, in a kind of trance, "defeat, neutralize, or disengage the enemy with minimal casualties within the following constraints…". The old actions of the pen on paper (imaginary or not) drilled into her through honestly embarrassing nightly hours of study and practice… were emulated perfectly.

x-x

Shizuka lay broken and defeated – crying silently. The fight had gone fully out of her.

"You beat me. Why don't you just kill me?"

"I feel sorry for you. You must be the loneliest person in the world." Naruto answered immediately. He had the woman's arms pinned with one hand and used the other to dislocate joints swiftly. "And when I decided to become a medic-nin, I took an oath to take no life lightly."

"You… you bastard!" She sobbed, tears streaking down her face as she stared up at her nemisis. "You went easy on me, you self-righteous bastard!"

"Yeah right, you f***ng pig-faced, rabid, psychotic bitch."

"You did! You didn't summon–"

"I," Naruto stressed, "got shit to do. Friends to patch up, and enemies to beat down. I didn't go easy, I just keep reserves. I'm not like you. Now you… you went easy."

"What?" He might as well have told her she was the unwanted zit of the universe. So insulted was Shizuka.

"You woke up today Shizuka, and I bet the first thing you thought was 'huzzah, today's the day I get to see Naruto again!'" Naruto explained offhandedly, as he attempted to map out the rough concentration areas of chakra around. It seemed that Shizuka had somehow set up their encounter in an empty spot of her ally forces – aiming to make things one-on-one and personal, but with all the high-profile jutsu they had used…

"I woke up and thought of how I would eviscerate you before the tombs of your ancestors!" Shizuka spat.

"Same difference."

"What? How exactly?"

"I'm the first thing on your mind, aren't I? And the last, probably. Everything about you has become about me. Don't you see where I'm going with this?" Naruto shook his head. "Here, I've just figured out my approach path to my friends, so I'm gone. I'm leaving these pills with you Shizuka. Take them this time you stupid bitch. Why? Because as long as you don't, you won't kill me. You can't! After all you can't kill a dead man, and trying to kill me is the only damn thing you have."

x-x

Sakura's frantic scribbling came to a full halt. She was stuck. Out of all the possibilities, the only way to surpass this situation was to rely on the wild card and the only one with the requisite raw force to inflict serious damage on their enemy – her.

But during a proper exam answer, an unsupported solution was a fail. For her to take point, even when her practical marks were abysmal, was certifiably the best answer. But how to increase the ability?

Naruto. It all came back to him. It was him that was the key to this situation. Her private sensei…

She could almost hear his voice. Just believe it.

A a total bullshit respnonse, never acceptable under examination standards.

But Sakura believed it.

She had transformed. By taking the step she had transformed. From the moment she'd put pen to invisible paper, she could feel the chains fo self-depreciation around her disintigrate. That state of almost perfect zen enveloped her. Just like any test. She held onto that feeling with a vice-grip and considered her situation. Just a little more. Just a little more courage.

Magical girls… she knew why she loved the ganre. Simple normal girls, just like her, thrust into terrible circumstances and awesome powers, fighting with love and justice.

Love and justice, she had those. Her friends were good people. They didn't deserve to die. And Sasuke… she would protect him.

And magic? Was not a sufficiently advanced trick indistinguishable for sorcery?

She was a ninja after all. She was a damn Ninja.

Moreso, she had Naruto 'the trickster' as a tutor.

So, she would lay it on the line. Actually, now that she thought about it, this ugly sunnovabitch wanted to jump in here and mess her schoolmates and love interest right up. What the hell? She didn't want them to die! She was sick of playing wallflower and being trampled on – or worse, ignored. This bastard was going to kill Sasuke-kun and… and…

Even if it cost her her life… even her life, so what? She had sworn, while chasing him down the hallway, her life to that boy so many times.

Time to f*cking own up.

What would her sensei say in this situation?

"I've had just about enough of this shit!"

The three combatants froze. What?

"Oh yeah," Kiba muttered, "she hangs with Naruto."

"Sasuke-kun, Kiba-kun. I'm taking point. Pull back."

"What?" they exclaimed in unison.

It might have been the adrenaline, it might have been that the plan she constructed sat at 10 on the lethality scale, give or take a few. It might have been the sudden rage of a very repressed young otaku coming to surface…

Or she might have just needed something to believe in. Something… anything… that wasn't 'Sakura'….

All the same, Sakura struck sailor-ronin's pretty poses with almost embarrassing accuracy. But she felt no shame. She felt nothing but her mission. "Evil, beware. For love and justice I smite you. Pretty girl magical Sakura, coming at you!"

She charged.

x-x

Tooro hated surprises. If someone came to him and asked him what his opinion on battle was, it was that 'the careless deserve their deaths'. He was the rock. The mountain. Slow to move, cautious to overextend, but unbreakable.

The little girl that had thus far seemed mentally unprepared for battle and suited for nothing more than first-aid, now charged at him. Had her bravado and nonsensical manga-references been a bluff, he would have stepped into her charge and with an open palm thrust shatter her frame. After all, she wasn't one of the targets that would yeild a bonus for taking alive. She wasn't a target at all.

But he had never met a person willing to sprint into his might without experiencing the precipice of death at their backs.

And she had no fear.

Tooro frowned. A sleeper ninja? A secret agent? For supporting the Houou, Uchiha, and Kurenai the illusion, it wasn't out of question. Rather, it would be far more suspicious if she were really just some kind of token female character.

So when the Inuzuka shot the Uchiha a bewildered look and the Uchiha motioned for them to pull back, he let them. Focus on the risk, and cut it down.

Some small cylinder danced beutifully between the fingers of her left hand as the lithe girl neared him. It blurred in a speed that surpassed his ability to recognize the item.

Then the bitch tucked it behind her left ear a split second before delivering a flying snap-kick to his face.

A pen? Tooro raged as he stumbled backwards. I was distracted by classroom pen-tricks?

In Tooro's defence, none in the history of Konoha could pull Sakura's pen tricks quite like her.

x-x

Sakura realized that even with a full-momentum flying kick to the face, she had inflicted very little real damage. It seemed he was truly a defensive master of chakra.

Fine.

Still within plan paramaters.

She was content in the fact that she had successfully obstruckted her opponent's vision. The pinkette summoned six bunshins quickly before flipping off of her opponent.

His chackra sense must be excellent, but even the best experienced stumbles due to cognitive dissonance. She would bet on that.

Her clones were perfectly formed, but it was very difficult to multitask the movements of six at a time – something she was sure her enemy knew just as well.

The clones took rudimentary academy stances and attempted to strike with a myriad of simple moves.

She was interrupted when she saw the surprisingly quick recovery and wide swipe of the goliath.

There were seven Sakura's, and only one was the real. So when six did the simple thing and backstepped, while the last palmed the swipe and vaulted over, Tooro had his answer.

It was the wrong answer. He received notice of his mistake in the form of a resounding explosion to the back of his head. He snarled, and terrible he did look when he snarled. That had actually hurt. "You lying b*tch!" Tooro recovered quickly and assumed a defensive stance.

Sakura quelled both the feelings of excitement and accomplishment. No time. This was serious. It shouldn't work, but it did anyway. That was her magic. Was it not supreme? "Magical Sakura: Illusion Sakura."

"Magical Sakura? Cut the bull!" No Tooro, calm yourself. Don't… don't fall into her pace.

Tooro understood the mind-game she had played on him, which had even caused him to ignore his chakra-sense. But that explosion… what the was that?

Sakura frowned and repeated her assault, twirling her pen again in her left hand. "Magical Sakura:" she muttered.

"You think I'll let you?" this time, when the little girl launched herself at him, he was ready for the flying kick and caught it deftly. Game over, he thought. But the leg slipped thorugh his fingers, and another flew into his forehead. As he stumbled, Tooro made out a faint declaration. "Mirror Sakura"

Of all the organs, the intricate human brain was one of the most difficult to reinforce around. And so, regardless of the toughness of the reinforcement, so long as force could be transferred through the skull then rattling the brain could force unconsciousness in the best of them.

x-x

That bitch. That little bitch! Tooro stumbled from the kick, and again during his stumble an explosive force struck him in the gut. The girl was an undercover sleeper. Must be. ANBU? No, standards may have dropped but they were as cold-blooded as ever. He would be dead by now. A hidden retainer, held by the Uchiha estate?

The underlying technique was so simple. So damn easy. But the application was far beyond genin expectation. Toying with him? Or limited in resources?

He rolled with the force of the blow, contemplating the girl. By placing the bunshin centimeters before her, she had hidden in the visual shadow of the technique. While from a sensory perspective, she still existed as a mass of chackra directly charging for him, practically fusing the signature with the fake. Furthermore, she hadn't summoned the bunshin, meaning that it was one of the leftovers from her earlier technique. This was bad!

He was fully in her pace.

Well, he would simply ignore her vision tricks. By concentrating fully on chackra-sense, he should be able to discern even her mirror bunshin trick.

It was when he noticed the weak signatures of her six bunshins combining that he then realized with foreboding.

He was deeper in her pace than ever.

x-x

"Magical Sakura" Sakura whispered. Holding her arm out vertically to the side. A bunshin, in a mirror pose, intertwined fingers with her.

And then another.

And another.

Until all the bunshins were layered.

"Shadow Sakura."

x-x

Tooro grimaced. The chakra signatures. The goddanm chakra signatures. The six bunshin, when layered together…

They were exactly the same as the original. Chackra quantity, shape, and even distribution….

The girl may as well have used the Shadow-clone hijutsu.

This… he couldn't do this.

This was insane!

Such control, such mental capacity...

…Magic, indeed.

When the twins charged him, he truly had no choice but to remove focus from chakra perception, and focus on the visual. The left one was the real…

Wasn't she?

No, this tricky girl…

Being a master of defence meant more than a physique and chakra system meant for physical toughness. It was also skill.

Skill to know when to sacrifice a bit of that reinforcement to use a jutsu.

And a library of techniques that can execute quickly and disruptively.

Only two seals.

x-x

The earth shook and from the ground under Sakura rose a needle bed of sharp rock. The spikes were large enough to be avoided, but doing so and moving six bunshin in perfect synchronicity in the same manner was asking too much.

A little early then, she launched her attack.

x-x

When the girl responded to the jutsu by having the layered bunshin explode into leaps in a myriad of approach angles, Tooro wanted to rant and rave – for a good five minutes, at least.

But no time, he had diverted his attention from the chackra plane, and even lowered his defenses. If ever, now the hammer would fall. Powerful legs propelled him backwards, and it was only the extra half-second that this bought him that allowed him to see the attack.

Out of the cloud of illusionary clones, the real Sakura lunged once more for his face. And finally Tooro saw what caused the explosive force that she had been blindsiding him with.

A small metallic ball was clutched in the girl's hands.

It was no jutsu! She was an explosives user!

That was why she never followed up! She had to clear the blast radius!

He took the hit, and it shook him like none of the previous ones had. And he was grateful.

"I see." Tooro said, releaved, staggering to his feet. "I understand. Physically, you're weak." The danger, more or less, was passed. The girl was a bag of cheap and unexpected tricks and once understood, was left with little. "It isn't that you're conserving chakra. You lack the stamina to actually produce more. And those bombs… let me guess, they're heavy? And you're unused to them, yeilding a minimal effective range. So I… will fight you… with ninjutsu!" Tooro grinned.

Wait, where was she?

She should be…

She had retreated?

But without chakra reserves, a long range battle would be suicide!

It was exactly what he wanted! There must be a…

That scroll that she palmed.

The grimness on her face.

…fine. This ended now.

x-x

"Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke snapped his attention to Sakura's position. He had backed off of the fight as she had wished earlier, expecting that she must have attained some useful plan from her conversing with Naruto and the odd pen ritual she performed…

But he had been stuperfied by her sudden bout of… of competence!

While she fought he noticed that there was a void there in her, where her fear should have been. He supposed that years of conditioning as a ninja must have spontaneously clicked into place.

But now, again… that fear.

"Sasuke-kun, It's all still within the plan so… it's okay but… I – I have one last trick."

Sasuke frowned. "Then do it."

"I… you need to cover me and… and…"

Sasuke noticed the scroll in Sakura's hands. The scroll she had been nervously fingering in the caravan. The on that Hinata had avoided upon first notice. The FMST.

"And Sasuke-kun?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you, okay?"

x-x

It was a shame. If only things had been a little different, Sakura thought, as she rummaged through the handbag that Naruto's sister had packed him. If only Kiba had found these tools earlier. Even a little earlier but…

She steeled herself.

"Then do it." Sasuke monotone.

So cool. He was calm even in this chaos.

Sakura took a deep breath. "I… you need to cover me and… and… and Sasuke-kun?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you, okay?"

Sakura struck the scroll into the ground in front of her, regarded it and the bag she slung over her shoulder with brief dread, and started a long chain of seals.

x-x

An FMST. One of the highest order of jutsu. Those which could only be performed with extensive control and knowledge of the arts of sealing. The kind of reckless backfire-prone technique that prudent guys like Tooro stayed the hell away from.

Surely there were some FMSTs that were deadly even with low chakra-input. To think that he'd see anyone under thirty even attempt one!

Time to settle things.

Tooro made his own set of seals, and his would surely be faster.

x-x

If he had been a wind elemental, Sasuke realized, then this would have been an exercise in futility. As it was, the fist sized shrapenels of rock kept such physical presence as they could be deflected. The larger were cleaved by Kiba.

Between them, not one would pass. This was the least they could do. No. It was all they could do.

Sasuke, like a good ninja, tried not to think about that right now.

A small rumble beneath Sasuke's feet alerted him. "Sakura! Dodge!"

x-x

Sakura did one better, she sprint forwards, scooping up the FMST as she ran, between the thumbs and forefingers of her ram-seal. A cruel spike of earth struck from where she knelt previously.

"Y formation!"

Her wingmen fell into pace four steps in front of her, and when the shrapenel of the enemy jutsu could be avoided completely, Sasuke's sharp eyes discerned and directed them to dodge to the appropriate side. And when the strike couldn't be, Kiba took the hit bodily with animal ferocity – growling and pushing on nonetheless.

It was a spike to the left knee that felled him.

Tooro, having had enough of this, eased his attack for a second to launch a jutsu into the earth that created spikes along the ground in a wide radius to their closing approach.

Time froze for Sasuke, until a heartbeat seemed to last forever. So acute was the danger.

They were at the perfect range for it. Not enough time to dodge the wide radius, and not close enough to naturally make the leap to enemy's location.

Not on one's own.

As Sasuke was contemplating weather he should prioritize Sakura or himself, considering that the mysteries Sakura had picked up from Naruto were the only effective form of attack…

He realized that his body had already entered a slide on its own.

So Sasuke grit his teeth, turned, kneeled, and cupped his hands.

x-x

Sakura's eyes widened in shock. 'No' She mouthed, between moments. No, no, no.

Stoicly, he faced her, expecting.

So brave. Her Sasuke.

Sasuke-kun. She cursed her situation. Sasuke-kun!

God-F*cking Damnit!

She stepped in his palms and was boosted into a terrific launch.

Never had she soared so high. And for it she had naught but tears, as Sasuke was swiftly impaled below her.

When sakura landed, she was screaming like a banshi. Shino, Kiba, Sasuke, everyone…

This, this bastard!

Tooro struck with an open palm. He had sacrificed much of the chackra used to enforce his defence and strength, but sheer mass would repel the frail girl.

Sakura screamed.

"Kwamwari no jutsu!"

"WHAT?" Tooro gasped. In shock, he saw that it was a log he was breaking in half, as his foe flipped over his arm and rammed the side of the FMST into his face.

Just because one was making seals, did not in fact mean that one had to be molding any chakra at all. A brazen bluff to force his fear and expenditure of chakra, Sakura had thrown random ones together, ending with those for Kwamwari.

Tooro also realized that he'd been had. But…his mind raced. Two handed-seals cannot be used to prepare two simultaneous jutsu. If her seals gave her a kwamwari then what on earth…

And then, belatedly, he heard the hiss.

And then, belatedly, he recalled the girl's weapon specialty.

He brought his hands up to his face frantically, seeking to claw the fake scroll off, but it seemed that the unwrapped contents were nothing but industrial rat-trap level glue-paper. He couldn't leverage it off.

Desperately he attempted to use the little chakra still circulating his system to him to reinforce his head in time.

The disguised FMST revealed its true nature to the Assassin as it hissed beside his ear.

A full stick of Millitary Dynamite.

x-x

"Shit!" Naruto swore as he dashed through the underbrush. Just how far had he been distanced from the others by that damn cheap sniper wind jutsu? To top it all off, his comm was busted. Goddamn! And these pursuers!

Those guys… intermediate-low levels? Using traditional ninja-tricks, dashing through the underbrough at 40km/h… f*ckers were like hounds. They were closing the distance well, and it was at these kinds of times Naruto cursed his short stride.

Hotshots, with confident smirks and deadly grace. They knew their chakra, that's for sure, but they must have been kicked out of the village early. They lacked military discipline.

In other words, they were radically overconfident and reckless.

Well then!

With a grounding technique that habitually kept him in place as he launched literally hundreds of pounds of enemy flesh literally hundreds of meters, naruto went from 37km/h to 0 in 0.23 seconds.

The two behind him were not so responsive, and ran into a neat clothesline technique, sprawling them into the floor before Naruto.

"No goddamn time for you idiots!" the boy spat as he resumed his dash.

Soon, a chakra signature shot in from his right at such speeds that Naruto almost didn't pick out who the reading belonged to. "Kakkashi-sensei! The hell you been, you perverted bastard? Your students are all knee deep in it!"

"Barrier!" Kakkashi grunted. "S-class! And interference has been –"

"S-class?" Naruto exclaimed. "You're shitting me!" There weren't supposed to be any S-class barrier users anymore. Not in the world. A-ranks were double-layered and complete shapes –meaning that they went all the way underground. S-rank did that with forces that bent space.

"Kurenai confirmed."

Damn. If there were anyone more academic than Sakura, or more in tune with the flow of chakra than him, it would be Konoha's #1 genjutsu user.

They would be there soon. Naruto needed a plan. "The core?" he asked.

"One man! He's all that's inside the inner layer. ."

"Seal?"

"He's sitting on it."

"Even if it's S-class… that seal…" Naruto frowned. "it can't be totally surrounded by barrier right?"

Kakkashi nodded. "There's nothing between it and the ground, although that ground is completely encased by barrier itself. You have something?" he was the last recourse. If anyone knew a way to break an S-class barrier, it would be Jiraiya after all. Maybe… just maybe… some knowledge had been passed on to Naruto that…

"Oy! It rained yesterday right?"

…What? "…Yes." Kakkashi answered.

"Well, that helps a bit. Listen, I'll take that thing down. Afterwards, you'd better find me though, and wake me the hell up. I have patients."

"…Sure?"

"Right. Give me a ride."

Kakkashi raised an eyebrow. Naruto had stopped running. They'd be there soon if they'd just kept pace. So for what reason did he need a dog summon?

As Naruto bled into the air what must have been as much chakra as Kakkashi had ever dared mold in his life for any one jutsu at a time, he began to get a vague idea.

Naruto continued to mould and release chakra into the air and in a distant corner of his mind, he hoped that his mother wouldn't find out that he'd gone behind her back and learned how to surpass the 100% limit of the God-Hand. "Fastest damn thing you have. We'll show those amateur, limp-wristed f*ckers how Konoha snipes."

x-x

Out of the smoke of the explosion, a hand shot out. Soon, Sakura found herself pinned to the tree.

She'd misjudged the man. This level of toughness was beyond even her expectations. The explosion had stunned her even more than her opponent, who had the dynamite strapped beside his right ear?

He was demonic in his defencive ability.

At least… please…

The man gripped Sakura by the neck, rasing her off of the ground and pinning her to the tree.

Sakura clawed the massive hand that may spell her death. Through her fear, she felt a measure of relief.

All that remained of the man's right ear was a stubble of flesh, the bleeding of which disappeared in the rivulets that flowed form his inner ear.

I blew it. I blew his ear-drum.

Sakura smiled, before the expression was literally choked off of her face.

"Answers! I want answers!" Tooro demanded. "What the hell kind of ninja are you?"

Tooro had the control. The situation, finally, was his again to command. He marshaled his emotions thusly. Though he had been injured, a sufficiently competent healer could be easily afforded with his take. A take he had to maximize.

Although she knew that she had to stall for time, Sakura's relief at the success of her plan evoked a response against her more conservative judgement. She smiled and gasped out: "Ma-Magical…. G-Giir-"

"Spare me the bullshit." A quick squeeze was all it would take. Her head would literally pop right off. Tempting, but Tooro held back.

A little.

"Guh! Ugh! Ah!"

"What are you?" As he had yet to extract the required information from her, he permettided her to breathe once more.

"Aca-Academic first in… in cla…ss."

"Ah, a 'smart fighter'. Then you aren't so out of place amongst these high-profiles after all. Your kind is a dying breed. More so even than the true illusionists. Do you know why?"

Sakura chose to conserve her breath rather than answer.

"While truly, knowledge equals power. Knowledge can be wrong, whereas power equals power without such insecurity. My kind, the strong, have long since taken the world from tricksters like you."

"Not… not me."

"What?"

"Smart… but I… I'm not the thrick…ster. Sen…sei."

"Hakate Kakkashi? I suppose – "

"Naruto… sensei."

Tooro pursed his lips.

"Taught… me… principles… copied… applied… just like…. Like school."

Tooro laughed at the absurdity of it. Such a thing? Just like school? Again he was reminded that this was a child that had pushed him thus far, and he sobered quickly. "Then you will live" Tooro decided. "From the very fact that the rest of our forces have not pulled, the primary target seems to have evaded capture. Students are suitable bait, in certain circumstances. At any rate, the division of profit amongst the survivors of our little group should be quite profitable. You are all rather valuable on your own, you see."

Oh. Sakura thought. So that's it. That's why… he was so passive before I attacked. Even a defencive specialist would have struck harder against Sasuke and Kiba… Drew it out… let the others die…

More for him…

I… this guy…

I… won't feel sorry.

"Last question, little girl. Why? Why that magical girl farce?"

"Magic... Good… tricks… are the… best… magic."

Tooro pursed his lips. "I understand the principle, but it was not sufficient as a distraction. In fact it must have been you who was the more distracted."

Magical girl. Magical girl sakura. She was… special. Yes, the thought made her smile. "I… I always wanted… was my dream." A childish dream, which she had abandoned in favor of dreaming of being Mrs. Uchiha. But still, it rung in her soul. Such a special girl. Brave. And a champion

Yes. Of love and justice.

Love and Justice.

This guy… Sasuke-kun… and all the others!

Love and Justice.

Tooro sensed something here. Something was misplaced and he simply could not… damnit."Answer me! Why did you go through with that farce?"

"H-Heeey." Sakura drawled, the prolonged tightening of her throat getting to her. "C-Can you… hear… me?"

Tooro froze. "What?" He snarled.

"Left… ear." Sakura ghasped. "Deaf… right? Always… always glancing left so…"

Tooro, in fact, was deaf in his left ear. A crippling thing for a ninja. It was actually part of the reason he so refined his chakra sense.

"C-Can you…hear…me? Or are….you…reading my…"

That blatant disregard for his questioning, even as he tightened his hold on her life, bothered him greatly."Shut up. Why the magical girl farce? Even if you had such a childish desire, in this time and place it yields no…" Tooro paused. "…I see." The man frowned. "You… you came here to die."

Tooro felt a chill run through his spine. A person that came after him prepared to die was fundamentally different from someone coming that intended to die.

For normally you could at least be certain that if you've reached the point where you held a person's life in your hands, that their plan must surely have failed.

"You – You're done aren't you? Your bag of tricks, you must be empty?"

"B-Bag? O…Of tricks?" It may have been the asfixiation, but Sakura giggled. "Th-This?" She, with her conserved strength, brought her bag of tricks from behind her back for the captor to inspect.

He hadn't noticed. Disorientated from the explosion, filled with the rush of victory, and suddenly deprived of a fundamental sense with which he'd grown up with (and therefore grown dependant on). He hadn't noticed! That girl! The bag she'd put on before her last charge! She'd had it behind her back the whole time…

…upside down.

With one ear naturally deaf, and the other destroyed by Magical Sakura, Tooro could not hear the hissing of fuse nor the steady thuds of small, seemingly random forms of explosives that were periodically released from the seal within the bag, but he could imagine it.

It sounded like a death knoll.

Sakura's weak arm released the bag of death, and with the last of its strength, raised up its middle finger in spite. "L-Love and… Justice… ass…hole."



Chapter 19: Chapter 19



Disclaimer: I'm so sick of disclaiming these things.

Belated April Fools! It's a fake chapter!

..

..

...

Except it's not. Got you going there though, didn't I?



It happened in a flash.

Naruto had been dashing desperately towards his teammate's location, along with Kakashi, his heart pounding with even greater urgency than his feet on the ground.

Kakashi said the situation wasn't shaping up, inside the barrier.

An S-ranked barrier was a shell made of a space-time split. Nothing to be taken lightly. And for his displayed confidence, he had no idea if Godhand would displace it. Godhand was no mere technique, no simple concentration of chakra, and he felt that if it were his mother she could break simply anything. But he was not his mother, and so he prayed as he could that his best would be enough.

He prayed, but he wasn't sure.

Sakura had been struggling for air. She had lost track of what was going on, only knowing that somewhere a fuse was reaching its end. She had brought her gambit to a close in the most extreme of measures, out of spite and loathing.

That bastard.

The bastard had fallen in like a mountain, set to crush them. Him, with his greater experience and body, desired to toy with the prey he was set upon. For money. For stinking money. That she was a shinobi as well, and a mercenary for hire, only dimly seemed to matter. It was no ethical comparison. It was pride and love. Her friends would not die with their lives weighed in gold. Kiba had been brave, Shino had been noble. Sasuke.

That bastard had taken Sasuke-kun.

And she would kill him for it.

She would have liked to see her face, then. In those last moments. She wished that her sight were not so blurred, that she could stare into the oaf's wide, disbelieving eyes and see her own distorted reflection therein.

There was a shadow of a clinical curiosity in her.

She wished she could see, for once in her life, the face of Sakura Haruno as she really did something. As she truly hated another human being, from the depths of her heart.

For she did hate him.

When she died, if she found herself before heaven's gates she would turn around. She would gladly forsake that place if it meant she could drag this bastard personally to hell.

That was how deeply she wanted to hurt this man.

In some part of his mind, Naruto knew his efforts would not work. In some part of her mind, Sakura knew the shrapnel from her explosion would ruin what little hope for survival that her teammates might still have.

But they didn't know what they could do about that, except hope, and so teacher and student instinctively set it out of mind.

It was then, during that time when destiny makes it so clear that a person can practically feel the weight of the next few moments, that it happened.

It happened in a flash.

The invisible barrier, thought to be so mighty, shattered. Its distorted shards began to fall.

The mirror that had split apart space and time spun and fell in fragments, like so much shattered glass. A sliver of darkness flittered across the vision of only the most acutely aware, and dove directly into the ground as if the solid earth were nothing but a diving pool. It took the explosives, Tooru , and even the barrier crafter with it – sinking them with a powerful Doton Jutsu.

Sakura fell to her rump in a daze, the bastard nowhere to be seen.

Naruto took a few more steps before he registered that the enormous barrier had disappeared in the distance, and reached out with his acute senses in confusion.

Kakashi's shoulder's slumped. "She showed herself." He muttered gratefully.

Naruto and Sakura both were overcome with a sense of disorientation, and of sudden perspective.

The momentousness of the situation had been settled not with the controlled explosive force of Godhand, and not with the reckless suicide gambit of Sakura's hatred.

It was simply snuffed out.

And they knew, in that moment, that they truly were just kids.

It was… a supremely humbling experience.

x—x

Naruto dashed into the clearing, seeking out his allies. "Everyone! Everyone, are you all right?"

They were set to one side, lined up. They looked peaceful.

That wasn't necessarily a good thing.

"They're fine." A voice whispered.

In shock, because he hadn't heard, seen, nor felt a single thing approach him, he spun on his heel, into a wide backhand strike.

Doing so, he felt slender hands grasp his shoulder blades, and nothing else. The source of the voice had disappeared.

"I'm sorry" the voice repeated.

There was a shifting sound behind Naruto, and he belatedly realized that one slender hand still rested comfortably on his shoulder blade. She rode me. Naruto deduced with a start. She made herself lighter, or moved with me, and piggybacked to remain behind me – out of sight and out of range.

What an obtuse, inventive, and effective tactic.

But that was not the most alarming. Naruto had met with many assassins, and knew that he would meet with many ninjas of enemy countries in his life.

But this was different.

This was no ninja.

This was nothing mortal at all, and he only prayed that the thing's whispered apology wasn't for taking his life.

He hadn't felt the presence. Not before it had begun talking, not after, and not even during it's speech.

It was like conversing with a ghost, and a primal sense of fear gripped his heart as he begun to grasp the enormity of the gap between him and this new factor. Such a gap was wider than the ocean itself.

The rustling behind him stopped. "There. Is that better?"

And suddenly she became so real. Her breathing, her chakra signature, the scent of antiseptics…

They suddenly flooded his senses, and he knew it was because he was being allowed. He knew that it was because the ghost took special care to be discernable.

And It was more real than a lot of things in his transient travelling lifestyle. "Nee-chan?" he asked, weakly.

"Don't turn around!" Shizune said quickly, pre-empting her otoutou with a slender hand on his cheek. "I…I don't want you to see me like this." She finished, guiltily.

As his sister's gentle hand departed from his cheek, it had left a viscous substance behind. Naruto couldn't eyeball it but he knew well what it was. Blood, huh?

Was his sister powerful? Of course she was. He wasn't an idiot. Naruto could admit, of course, that he did lack some common knowledge. He was perhaps oblivious to some things he should not be of.

But he would never overlook his family.

Really, there were so many tips. The way she could always find him when he was getting into trouble…

"Otoutou. No swearing. Eh? Yes, I just came all the way from the docks – don't' change the topic. How did I find you? My sister sense was tingling. How did I get here so fast? Um… Sister… speed… Don't change the topic!"

The way she, despite being so homely and kind, was always the one to handle their nightly assassins in the leaf villiage…

"Watch your step, Naruto-kun. It feels like people have started to go for quantity over quality, lately. I had to – oh watch out. I was wondering if you could start stacking them for me?"

And even the whispers of terror that never left her victims' lips…

"With a skillet? Why with a skillet? I will never eat again."

No, he knew about his sister. Not in detail, but he knew she was no noble warrior. She was a viper. A killer. A terror to her enemies.

Who cared?

"It's okay." He reassured, even as he felt his sister palm healing chakra into him. He hissed as he felt the numerous lacerations on his person begin to close.

"It's not." Shizune objected, dourly. "My skills were supposed to be sealed. I'd buried this part of me a long time ago. 'Eclipse' was my codename when I was in the ANBU. It was a name whispered and revered in fear by my allies. This black mask I wear represents power that got me nothing, respect that won me nothing, and fear that kept me in a state of nothing. I buried that fearful woman, Eclipse, to never see the light of day again, and I was relieved to kill that part of me. But after seeing you attacked in Konoha all those years ago… I'd felt so helpless. And I knew then that being powerless is a pitiful thing – because I have something to protect now." She said gently. "But please don't turn around. Only your good sister should be reflected in your eyes. That's the real me. At least… I hope so."

"I don't really get it. You're my Nee-chan, so it isn't like I could be any more terrified of you than your scolding marathons and your ramen-bans already make me..." Naruto mused, reminiscing on numerous nights of terror. "But okay" he finished.

He was quite complacent either way. He didn't care. Fear? Terror? To him, the mere phantom of the shadow of the thought of losing that one constant in his transient lifestyle …

It was beyond comprehension.

Oh, Otoutou… My Otoutou… Wait, am I that bad? Shizune's lips tugged to a wry smile. "Otoutou." Shizune answered. "Tsunade-sama had me be your shadow this time."

"This time…" Naruto whispered.

"You don't sound that surprised. Were you able to feel it? Years of assassins have made you sharp to watchers. That's good. You've usually had a shadow, when you went off alone. And it was generally me. It was kept secret, so that you could have the sensation of handling an ambush with no sense of backup, as that is unparalleled training. But now it is time for you to know the truth. I was always there. I rarely had to interfere directly in your scuffles, but I always kept the enemies that were too strong away from you. I filtered them, you could say." Shizune admitted. "But things are different now. You're a real Gennin. You're a warrior, and you're strong. So you deserve to understand what's going on. This attack was too organized, and too saturated in delicate Intel."

"It was planned" Naruto nodded.

"From the inside." Shizune supplemented. "A power player in Konoha is moving against the Houous. I have scoured this entire area of enemies, from the shadows, but the mastermind's true objective is to strike with the other prong. Tsunade-sama… is in danger."

Naruto was silent.

"I can't say what the enemy's exact objective would be, as that is the responsibility of the real Shizune."

"You're a clone." Naruto surmised. A shadow-clone, if she could do ijutsu.

Shizune nodded behind her brother. "By now, the real me should be on her way to Konohagakure."

Naruto abruptly turned to face her, and Shizune gasped. As she had left 'eclipse mode', it was with surprise that she was caught, and attempted to cover her bloody robes with crimson-stained hands.

And it was not just her robe. Her face. Her hair. Even her sandals. She was as red as she was anything else, her outfit the victim of splatters and sprays, as if she had been more a butcher than a warrior.

Naruto didn't blink. He'd expected as much. "You should dispel" he advised. "The farther away you are, the harder it will be to salvage the leftover chakra."

"I-I can provide some protection for a few more hours, at least." Shizune objected. "And don't look!" The mortified sister reached to turn her brother around, and was abruptly tackled.

As Naruto held his dear, dear sister, he replied with all his heart "It doesn't matter. Really. Blood does not connect us, and it will not separate us. Our family bonds are thicker than blood, stronger than steel. Thank you, Nee-chan, for always protecting me." I am very grateful to have a family at all. Doubly so for a sister like you.

Shizune was touched. She was soothed. Eclipse was her dark past, her constant worry, and for it to be accepted by one of the few whom she loved in this world... Tears welled, and smeared the caked blood on her cheeks, as they fell without concern. "Otoutou… thank you. That means so much to your tired, weary sister." She ruffled his hair.

Naruto nodded into her chest, and focused chakra into a single point on his index finger. "You be careful, Nee-chan."

Boom. The finger-flick of god was not the strongest form of godhand by any stretch, but it was much heavier than a punch and more than sufficed for any shadow clone.

And as she dissipated, Naruto thought he saw the beginning of a brief, disapproving look on his sister's face.

"I'm in for such a scolding when I get back." Naruto mused to himself, as the whisps of smoke cleared.

x—x

Shizune paused in her mad dash abruptly, staring to the east. She felt herself instinctively recall the energy foundation of her abruptly dissipated clone and scowled as the appropriate memories returned as well. "He is in for such a scolding when he gets back." She muttered in promise to herself.

But Naruto… that technique, the finger-flick of god… you remember right? It's your mother's 'proof of ID'. It's proof of your inheritance. I know that I shouldn't worry so much about Tsunade-sama's heir. It's just… well, it's the right of all big sisters, I guess.

Just be careful.

x—x

Sakura sighed, hugging her knees to her chest as she rested in the 'backup caravan' that the masked woman – apparently shizune – had carted them into. Where the woman had materialized such a thing was the last thing on her mind, as she was instead plagued with worry for her friend and teacher.

"You're going forwards?" Sakura asked, in alarm.

"Yeah. Alone." Naruto grunted, sorting out the sachel that Sakura had used in her fight. "You're all recovering from injuries. Really, only nee-chan could heal you all so quickly. But you need to rest, and you're low on stamina. Even the sensei's are going to be dead weight for a while." He nodded. He had kept reserves, thinking that he would have people to save and badguys to take out, but his sister had seen to al of that. "Looks like all the medical supplies are intact" he assessed approvingly.

"But – But that's crazy!" Sakura objected, staggering to stand up to her teacher. Shizune, or at least her clone, had healed everyone in a flash before Naruto had even made it onto the scene. It had been terrifying to have the masked, black-robed figure silently reach out with ephemeral, glowing green hands. Sakura had instantly pegged the stranger, who had no presence at all, as the Shinigami's helper and screamed her lungs out.

But that aside, the pinkette was healed. Unfortunately that didn't make her any less exhausted. Naruto would be the same. "We're not prepared for this!" Sakura objected. "And your sister just left! And!" Sakura choked, tears forming. "A-A-And I… I don't want anyone to die!" Sakura shouted desperately.

What meagre strength her indignation had produced left her and she fell to the ground, sobbing. "I-I don't. I was so–"

Kiba. Shino. Akamaru. Sasuke.

They had almost died. And it wasn't like in the stories at all. It was real. So real. Too real.

They had almost died.

"Neither do I." Naruto sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Where I'm going, there are millions of people. And I don't want any one of them to die."

The boy that made her normal self into something... might soon himself be reduced to nothing. She didn't like the thought of that.

But what could she do?

Nobody could stop him from simply running off, which he had done. They were all too weak and battle weary, even the teachers. Kurenai-sensei had used several high-tier genjutsu during the battle, and Kakashi had cycled a hundred of the jutsu from his considerable repertoire in vain attempts against the barrier. Sasuke-kun was unconscious, as was Kiba. Shino was taking perhaps too well to the painkillers he had received. And Hinata? Hinata's mysterious flipping out seemed so obvious in retrospect. She had been hit by a genjutsu, stealthily. With the element of surprise to her unprepared and shaken mind in the close aftermath of the initial attack, she had been a textbook sitting duck for the worst of the worst of genjutsu. Worse, no one had assessed the heiress for what she was. During the entire time of the fight she had been trapped in... something.

Something so personally terrible that thoughts for kai – or any thoughts at all – were muted and lost as soon as they were formed.

The genjutsu was gone, but the pain and fear would remain, so Hinata had been forced into unconsciousness.

Sakura herself was doing none too well. She had used several low-yield jutsu, yes, but she'd used them gratuitously and precision manipulation taxed the mind dearly.

No... that wasn't why she hadn't stopped Naruto-kun. She could have tried more if she really put the effort up. She could have forced herself to follow him, and back him up as she was able, like a proper teammate.

She was just scared.

Again, her weakness stared her in the face.

But... But she would get stronger one day.

One day.

And she'd bear whatever embarrassment and dive headfirst into 'Magical Sakura' if that was the crutch she needed to vault herself forwards.

It was the least she could do.

A/N:

Review a song campaign: 1 review of my BETA's song = next chapter within a week (or so.) See my author's page for details. Otherwise, don't worry: I'll see you when I eventually make time for stuff.

Story itself: Let me tell you, I know what you are all thinking. And I agree, but it coudln't be helped. To be honest, I wanted badly to title this chapter "Deus Ex Shizune-cha" but that would be dumb. But I did foreshadow this. Rather, it's a surprise that no one wondered where Naruto's 'shadow' was at. And I attempted to execute the Deus Ex with some quality.

My current writing focus is on 'image' as I have recently felt that there is a disconnect between the story as I see it and the one that you read. My BETA pointed it out. I have come to understand that 'image' is a huge, difficult thing to master. It even involves your reading speed - so I have a far way to go.

Also, chapters will probably be shorter, more frequent, and end in order to make a sharper transition than the x-x things.

Also, ima put arcs in this thing. I r expiramenting.

Questions from the Author: How is the image (what you visually see as you read)? How is the use of italics and bold. Do they help to understand the emotion? Would more be helpful to clarify or are they annoying?









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