Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ WTF!!! The Rokudaime's Pregnant?! ❯ WTF!!! The Rokudaime's Pregnant?! ( Chapter 1 )

None of the characters below belongs to me…

Enjoy ya damn perverted bastards… (growl)

Who's the perverts ya pervert?

What?! Who are you? I'm the author of this fic! You're not suppose to exist!

Stupid I'm your subconscious.

Yeah right. I can still make you go away. (concentrates very hard)

Are you done yet?

(concentrating VERY hard)

You really are stupid aren't you?

ARRRGHHH!!!

Sasuke: See aniki, told you she had a low mental barrier. (points to author currently foaming at the mouth and bouncing off the walls.)

Itachi: (shrug) Hn.

Naruto: (tugs on Sasuke's sleeve) What is that thing? (points to author, now entangled in multiple colorful ribbons)

Sasuke: the stupid author.

Hey! I ain't stupid! And that thing there ain't me ya jerks!

(poof! Thing disappear)

See?

Sasuke: I still think you're stupid.

Itachi: Hn.

Hey watch it. I can turn Naruto away from you and you will never see him again! BWAHAHAHA!!!

Sasuke: … (sweatdrop)

Itachi: (sniker)

On with the fic!!!

Kyuubi talking in Naruto's mind.

Naruto thinking.

“talking”

(actions)

[author's comments]

 

 

 

Seduction Plan Number 1

By: c7bi_kyuubi

It seemed simple. First, seduce Naruto. Then get into his pants to make him forever his. Third, get married to Naruto so no one else can have him. Fourth, screw him so much he can't even leave the bed. Simple and fun these four steps. Now, the first step.

“Naruto.” Sasuke called. Naruto was sulking around on the first floor wandering in and out of the numerous rooms and voicing out loud why he couldn't stay in any one of them.

“What Sasuke-teme. Why do I have to live in your house and sleep in your bed with you anyway? What is the mission that stupid hag s-“

“You wanna go get some ramen to eat?”

“YES!!!” Naruto yelled and leapt onto Sasuke sending them both to the floor with Naruto on top hugging Sasuke. “I LOVE YOU!!!”

A scream of anger came from outside as Sakura attempted to rush in kill Naruto and snatch Sasuke away. Ino and Ten Ten were holding her back. “Calm down forehead girl! You want him to see us?!” Sakura's reply is not fit for civilized normal people…

 

Unfortunately for Sasuke, his seduction plan is not going to exactly what he expected. Unknown to him (but not for long), Sabakuno no Gaara and his siblings were in town. Not to mention that Gaara will most certainly object to his plan due to his wanting Naruto for himself. In fact, that is what he came to do. Ask Naruto to move to the Sand country. Not only that, a certain Hyuuga Neji will also be lurking around. He hasn't been bemoaning about fate lately and has started to notice a certain blonde before Sasuke's return.

 

My my, Naruto seems to have a lot of suitors doesn't he? All the more competition for Sasuke-kun. (Am I evil? No I'm not. MUAHAHAHA!)

 

Sasuke started on his seduction plan part 1. Naruto would be too innocent for the usual flowers and dinner type of romantic stuff. If he did that he'd have to explain why he was doing all this step by step and he was sure that Naruto would refuse to eat at a high classed restaurant. Besides that the way Naruto eats would get them kicked out of the restaurant for ruining the other patron's appetite and not to mention he'd most likely start a fight over a few choice comments Sasuke would find very irresistible to add.

 

So, Ichiraku it is. Sasuke started out with four bowls of different ramen. And he `accidentally' slipped some -ahem- of Tsunade's sake in it. Little by little of course what with the Kyuubi's nose and Naruto's sensitive ramen taste buds… (sweatdrop) After fourteen bowls of sake spiked ramen later, Naruto was more than tipsy.

“HAHA!!! SASUKE, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD FOUR MORE TWINS… YOU'RE ALL BLURRY… HELLO BASTARD, BASTARD, BASTARD AND BASTARD. WHERE DID YOU ALL COME FROM? ONE MORE BOWL OF MISO RAMEN OJISAN!”

 

Deciding that enough was enough, although Sasuke would die before he admitted that spiking Naruto's ramen was actually quite fun… Sasuke paid for the meal and dragged a limp Naruto back to the Uchiha mansion. Unknown to him, for the moment, four shadows were tailing his every movement. Two of them are getting more and more suspicious and angry… Gaara and Neji watched from different viewpoints and to be frank, did not like what they saw…

 

The other two were giggling in perverted glee. One was taking notes and the other was copying the two genin's every move with his Sharingan. Yep, they're our much beloved Jiraiya sama and Kakashi. Jiraiya was scribbling furiously in his notebook and glancing up once in a while and crying tears of joy at Naruto so eagerly embracing the love of a human body… [Now that just sounds weird and just plain wrong…] Kakashi went, “Mmmhhmmm… (giggle) heheheee… hmm hmmm hmmmm…” Oh if Iruka could see him now… [Maybe it's better he didn't or Kakashi would be dead and Sasuke castrated…]

 

Back at the Uchiha mansion, Naruto is only semi-drunk. Kyuubi is purposefully not doing its job.

~In Naruto's mind~

`Oi! I think I'm drunk… Why aren't you doing your stuff!?!'

Hah! Why should I? I know you want this to happen and being in your stupid head all the time I know what you think brat.

`I don't want this at all! Yeah not one bit! So there!'

Hah! Then what is this all about huh?!? (throws images of when Naruto `went of the track of being un-horny' and a few scenes of the wet dreams Naruto had of Sasuke)

`AHHHH! THAT'S PRIVATE STUFF YOU STUPID FOX! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SEE THEM!'

HOW CAN I NOT SEE THEM YOU FOOLISH BRAT??!?!? I'M INSIDE YOU, YOU IMBECILE!!! (cough, regains composure) Anyway, I think that it's time you got laid and it's obvious that brat likes you too and besides it will be fun seeing you struggle…

`AHHHHHHRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! KYUUBI IS A PERVERTED FOX!!!!!!!!'

I AM NOT! SHUT UP! (Kyuubi sucker punched `mental Naruto' with his infinite chakra and sent him back to reality)

 

Naruto found himself in a very compromising position with Sasuke on top of him. Nevertheless, Naruto kept up hi reputation as the number one most surprising ninja in Konoha.

“Hey, are we playing twister on the couch?” He asked innocently. Sasuke promptly face faulted.

 

~Insert very very very lemon lemony scene which I am not going to type because I find it quite tedious. Just use your imagination…~

 

Naruto could not move even a finger. He was melted down into a puddle of happiness and currently cuddled against Sasuke. Correction, a very happy and pleased Sasuke. `Mine.' Was what Sasuke thought when he looked at the blissful expression of Naruto's face and his languid body. He pulled Naruto closer and they snuggled together before they fell asleep.

 

Gaara and Neji wept tears of broken heartedness before realizing that they didn't like Naruto `THAT WAY', slapped themselves over the head [mentally of course, they are too cool to do that in reality without ruining their reputation, we love love you deeply for that (glares traditionally)] and went off into the land of happiness. Gaara returned to the Sand country and met his mate and Neji eloped with TenTen with Gai and Lee crying tears of joy at their apparent eagerness in participating in the joys of youth…

 

 

Next up, Naruto is elected to be the next Hokage and Tsunade trains him to take over… plus a few tips that sake can do wonders and the places that he could hide when he wanted to escape the grueling duties of being a Hokage… Oh and one more thing…

 

WHAT??? THE ROKUDAIME'S PREGNANT??? HOW?

Read and find out…

Please be kind in reviews… I'm mentally weak and a tiny push can send me over the edge… Light criticism can be tolerated with a lot of medication… thank you.