Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ WTF!!! The Rokudaime's Pregnant?! ❯ WTF!!! The Rokudaime's Pregnant?! ( Chapter 6 )

None of the characters below belongs to me…

This is just another piece of my demented mind, written when I'm in one of my stage 3 level of psychonesss… Yesssss…….

Enjoy…

 

 

 

Naruto: (sobs) You make Sasuke take away all my ramen… (sniff sniff, sob sob) And not only that, he told all the shops not to sell me any… (wail of despair) I HATE THOSE STUPID FUCKIN' `WABBIT FOOD THAT THEY ALL MADE ME EAT!!!!!!!!!!

 

Sasuke: Urusai. It's for your own good.

 

Hinata: Uh… Sasuke-kun? (blush) M-Maybe it is good for his health… um… (pokes fingers together) physically… but I'm not… (blush) sure he's okay mentally… (points to a foaming at the mouth and five months pregnant Naruto pulling at his hair and screaming at the top of his lungs. Then he started banging his head on the wall…)

 

Sasuke: (panic mode) Naruto!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?! YOU'RE HURTING YOURSELF AND THE BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

Naruto: AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (CONTINUES SCREAMING VERY LOUDLY!!!)

 

Sasuke: (turns and yells at the present Naruto casts) HELP ME STOP HIM YA' FREAKIN' IDIOTS!!! WHAT ARE YOU STANDING THERE FOR!!! (bellows so loudly that everyone's hair flew back while struggling to hold a now-losing-it-very-quickly Naruto who was still trying to get at the innocent wall to bang his head to stop his thoughts on RAMEN RAMEN RAMEN!!!!!!! (Kyuubi howls in agony at the sheer volume of Naruto's voice both in the real world and mentally…)

 

Kyuubi: `Shut up will you brat?!?! I need my beauty sleep!'

 

Mental Naruto: Hah! What for? You look like shit already and I know deep in my gut you were born that way…

 

Kyuubi: (Farts in Naruto's face… (ewwwwww)) Hah! Take that! Demon fart stinks more when they're pissed.

 

Mental Naruto: (screams in pain, disgust, more eye pain and eventually gagged from the sheer smelliness of the fart…)

 

Naruto: (froze in mid-motion as his brain went into a coma) Ugghhhh…. Ramen…

 

Sasuke, Tsunade, Jiraiya, Iruka, whole of rookie 9, Orochimaru, Kabuto, Itachi, Kisame, a few ANBUs, Jounins and Chuunins: (sigh in relief that Naruto had stopped struggling)

 

[I said all present Naruto casts, it just happened that Orochimare, Kabuto and the two Akatsuki were there…]

 

 

 

Oh yeah, Naruto is now five months pregnant… Ahhh… Where did time fly?

 

Naruto: What?! I'm not five months pregnant!

 

c7bi_kyuubi: Yes you are, now get back into the fic! (dropkick Naruto back magically)

 

Tsunade has taken over the duties of the Hokage temporarily as Naruto is too pregnant to do them anymore. Tsunade was blackmailed into doing it by none other than Shizune, Jiraiya and the rookie 9 as well as their teachers and- well, she was blackmailed into doing it. She hates paperwork remember?

 

On with the story… BooYah!

 

 

Ramen Hunt

by: c7bi_kyuubi

 

 

Naruto was slowly falling into depression. To be specific, it would be ramen depression. The mental Naruto was banging off of the inside of his skull and screaming `Ramen!' at every bounce. The real Naruto lay on the king sized four poster bed that he shared with his much beloved but sadistic-don't-let-Naruto-eat-ramen love, Uchiha Sasuke.

 

And so, he lay there covered in a sheet of gloomy darkness that is so thick even Sasuke's Katon Goukakyu no Jutsu bounced off it without damaging it at all. [We will not be going into why Sasuke would try to fry his pregnant kitsune either… (sweatdrop)] So when Sasuke finally made it past the gloomy sheen of darkness and to Naruto's side, he turned Naruto to face him.

 

“What wrong?”

 

“I don't know… I feel depressed… Lemme sleep…”

 

“-silence- Well, lets see if I can cheer you up.”

 

“Don't bother… go away…”

 

“You see, I've been wanting to try out this new technique…”

 

“(perks up a little) What new technique?”

 

“I'll show you…”

 

“What does it do- eh?”

 

“(turns Naruto until he is flat on his back) Sennen Ureshi!!!

 

The screams or cries or yells or bellows of pleasure continued on for the entire morning until late evening… (wow… you gotta admire their stamina…) By then, Naruto's depression was completely, totally, absolutely, miraculously (not so), wonderfully, amazingly (yeah, you get the point) dispelled… not so surprisingly (hehe… couldn't help it…) Instead, he was curled up against Sasuke and he is completely asleep. He did murmur in his sleep though. “Ramen… I'll rescue you… I'm coming…” Sasuke sweatdropped.

 

When Naruto woke up, the first thing he did was bellow out, “I WILL NOT FAIL!!! JUSTICE WILL PREVAIL!!!” That earned him a bump on the head courtesy of his beloved for waking him up like that. “That's it. There is seriously something wrong with you. More than usual that is. We're going to see Tsunade.” He said full of determination and dragged Naruto out.

 

Tsunade couldn't help but laughed at the picture they both painted. Naruto was sulking and wouldn't look or talk or answer Sasuke. He was also pouting as he pointedly ignored his husband. Sasuke was looking worried and frustrated and a lot of pent up emotions that only an expecting father could have for having a pregnant kitsune that kept him on his toes from the mood swings and other crazy out of the normal stuff pregnant people do or experience. Tsunade laughed and laughed until Naruto glared at her and yelled, “WILL YOU STOP LAUGHING YOU WRINKLED OLD HAG?!?!?!”

 

Then Tsunade stopped laughing as a few veins popped out and she bashed Naruto on the head. “Don't call me a hag!” [That is purely reflexive for them both, Naruto insulting her when pissed and Tsunade bashing him for insulting her. It's a part of their complicated relationship.] Then, she suddenly calmed down. “What's the problem now? You had your monthly check up last week right?” She asked Sasuke, ignoring the five months pregnant and pouting blond in the corner muttering darkly to himself.

 

“He's been crying out for ramen for a few months now. The first one and a half months he doesn't seem to care because he's all dreamy and stuff. But now… (shudder)”

 

“Well, why don't you let him eat ramen then?”

 

“Hah!!! See! Tsunade baachan said I can eat ramen you sadistic jerk! Bastard! Psycho! Stupid! Id- mmm!!!” Naruto shouted at Sasuke before he was kissed into a puddle of goo again. “Hate you. Don't do that… (sigh happily… sits down on a chair dreamily and rubbing his belly.)

 

“I see that technique is as effective as ever.” Tsunade said wryly, amusement in her eyes.

 

“Yeah well. You sure letting him eat ramen wouldn't hurt him or the baby in any way? You know how much he eats… And how fast… And how many times… And-” Sasuke said, his face growing slowly more and more paler.

 

“Yes of course I know. This is Naruto we're talking about. I'm not saying letting him lose all over Konoha. And with him ramen deprived for a few months now, I don't think Ichiraku can survive the attack… (Sasuke and Tsunade both sweatdropped a the mental image of Naruto vacuuming up all the ramen and the old chef and Ayame crying tears as their shop got rampaged by a hungry-for-ramen-and pregnant Naruto.)

 

“I think that it's better that you let him have a few bowls of ramen everyday. With the Kyuubi and all, I don't think that it will harm him at all. Besides, I think keeping him away from ramen is harming him more than giving it to him. Why did you wait until now to ask me?”

 

“Eheh… He woke up all depressed and surrounded himself with gloom so think I couldn't even get to him.”

 

“And when you did?”

 

“I did the Sennen Ureshi on him.”

 

“What's that?”

 

“Well you see, I sort of kissed him until he wasn't that depressed, then I pinned him down and stripped him naked before I gave him a little massage. After that, he looked so tempting that I couldn't help groping him a little. Then he started moaning and I s-”

 

“OKAY THAT'S ENOUGH INFORMATION!!!” Naruto bellowed in Sasuke's ear with one hand clamping around Sasuke's mouth. Tsunade looked intrigued and amused at the same time, and an anguished howled rang out outside her window. An old man with long white hair and a huge scroll attached to his back jumped in from the window.

 

“No!! I was just getting inspired! Naruto! Let him finish!”

 

“AHHHH! ERO SENNIN!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?!?!”

 

(Tsunade twitched)

 

“HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO CALL ME JIRAIYA SAMA AND NOT ERO SENNIN???!?!?!?”

 

(vein throbbed in her forehead)

 

“WHY SHOULD I CALL YOU THAT?! YOU ARE A PERVERT, ERO SENNIN! ERO SENNIN! ERO SENNIN!!!!!!”

 

(fist tightened)

 

“WHY YOU LITTLE… ARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

(CRASH! BOOM! BANG!! POOF!! ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! NO STOP IT! TSUNADE! HELPPPPP!!!!!) This was heard all over Konoha. All ninjas knew immediately to stay away from the Hokage tower for at least two to three hours. It was after all a common occurrence nowadays. Even the villagers didn't turn at the noise, some merely muttered, “That old pervert is annoying Hokage sama again. Serves him right…”

 

As for Sasuke, he quickly poofed himself and Naruto out of there when he saw the 3rd stage of the warning sign that Tsunade's temper is about to erupt. He had no intention of being around or be one of the targets of her rampage. Jiraiya seemed tough enough to handle it alone and besides, he ought to be used to beatings from enraged females by now, considering how much inspirations he keep finding wherever he goes.

 

Now, as for the second temper tantrum that happened later that day which sent every single living being in Konoha and the surrounding area trembling in fear… Well, Naruto isn't to be blamed for it. Nope, he had no idea that Sasuke would actually buy him ramen. But when Sasuke had somehow managed to coax the blond into bed to rest while he prepared a surprise for him, Naruto decided once and for all that he had suffered enough.

 

I mean who doesn't let their kids eat ramen? Even though their baby was still unborn yet, it still didn't mean that it couldn't taste the ramen right? Besides, people kept saying that pregnant people usually eat more as they're eating for more right? So it is his duty to eat as much ramen as he could so that his unborn babies could have a taste of the wonderful ramen right? And he should have a lot as he is eating for five after all right? And so, after reasoning it out and ignoring Kyuubi's laughter at his stupidity and his premonition that this is going to turn out bad, Naruto slipped out of bed, got into his usual cloths he wore that Sasuke had bought him when he grew to big around the middle to fit into his orange jumpsuit.

 

He grinned at the memory when Sasuke had pestered him until he agreed to wear the huge shirt. He had absolutely refused to wear maternity gowns. To drill his point home into his stubborn lover's skull and brain molecules, he had set fire and torn up any maternity gowns Sasuke had dared to buy. Then they settled for the huge shirts, thanks to one of Shikamaru's genius ideas. “Just as well,” Kiba had snidely said, “Naruto wearing that orange thing would blind the babies. (snicker)” Five seconds later, Kiba was unrecognizable and embedded into a stone wall. Naruto growled, “Nobody insults my cute orange jumpsuit.” Then he broke down in a stupefied Sasuke's arms and wailed in another one of his mood swings that nobody liked his fashion sense. Shino had taken a picture of Sasuke's face then and posted it on the internet… It was good blackmail material he had said.

 

Shaking his head to clear away the memories, he prepare to set out on his self-given `eat-as-much-ramen-for-the-babies-sake' mission. He poofed out of the bedroom, after leaving a `note' for Sasuke to let him know where he had gone, and reappeared at Ichiraku. Needless to say, Ichiraku reaped in a huge profit that day. The Rokudaime's appetite had grown tremendously when he is pregnant. Naruto wept tears of joy as he tasted the wonderful blissful taste of his favorite and to-die-for food… Ramen sama…

 

After some thirty seven bowls later, when our dear Rokudaime is working on the thirty eighth bowl, the villagers all felt a murderous killing intent, so palpable that a black and lightning blue glow could be seen twenty foot in the air, heading straight towards…

 

DUN DUN DUN… (cue for dramatic music to introduce…)

 

Ichiraku.

 

 

And the one with that murderous intent that when he strode down the streets heading towards Ichiraku, he saw no one on the streets as they had all scurried inside their homes or shops to hide and peek out at what was happening. When they saw a rampaging and out-for-blood-of-the-Rokudaime Sasuke, they sighed and shook their heads in well practiced familiarity. “(sigh) Rokudaime's done it again…”

 

Sasuke found Naruto at Ichiraku as he expected. How could he not know with the very obvious sign that Naruto had sneaked off to Ichiraku….

 

Flashback…

 

Sasuke entered the bedroom wanting to call Naruto down for the surprise he prepare which was none other than the humongous pile of ramen that he had bought when he went out after he told Naruto to rest. But when he entered the room, he stopped and his jaw dropped in shock. The room was completely changed. Naruto had plastered pictures and various wallpapers of ramen this and ramen that on every single surface. Plus the huge orange letters that stretched from one end of the wall to the other, `ICHIRAKU HERE I COME'.

 

After the initial shock wore out, surprise, amusement then finally pissed off anger and frustration came over him. Half at Naruto for running off like that, and he must now be stuffing himself full of ramen. Then other half is because now he had to clean up the room… Maybe he'd hire someone to do it, or make Naruto do it…

 

End flashback…

 

 

Sasuke spotted Naruto amidst the piles and piles of empty ramen bowls. “Naruto…” came the growl. Naruto froze in mid inhale, then turned around slowly to find Sasuke standing there glaring at him. Not the normal black haired, pale skin and black eyes Sasuke with the pink lips that kissed him into oblivion or the Sa- ahem - getting off the point here…

 

Standing in front of Naruto is not the normal Sasuke but a Sasuke that had transformed into the second level of the cursed seal. A Sasuke with long gray hair, darkened skin, yellow green eyes that suddenly turned red from the activated Sharingan, purple lips and a star like mark on the bridge of his nose. Naruto blinked twice, inhaled what remained of his ramen, slid of his seat, and walked towards Sasuke. The chef and Ayame watched on in morbid fascination at the impending drama of destruction.

 

Naruto peered at Sasuke with narrowed eyes. “Hmm…”

 

Sasuke twitched but otherwise, remained impassive.

 

By now, curious villagers had crept out from their haven to watch. Even Orochimaru, Kabuto and a few sound nins perched on top of a rooftop together with Jiraiya, Tsunade, Kakashi and Iruka each holding a huge bucket of popcorn watched intently while chomping on popcorns. The rest of the rookie 9 and their teachers as well as other ninjas perched on the opposite rooftop watching the drama unfold below.

 

Naruto walked in a circle around Sasuke, an arm across the top of the swell of his stomach and the other fist under his chin as he mused. “Hmmm….”

 

Sasuke closed his eyes, lowered his head a little for his bangs to cover his eyes as a few veins popped out on his forehead.

 

Itachi and all the Akatsuki members arrived and perched on the same rooftop as Orochimaru's group, Jiraiya and Tsunade. They settled down and shared the popcorn as they watched intently. Itachi whistled softly impressed at his foolish little brother's skill in keeping a poker face. A big grin spread out on his face as he watched in amusement, ignoring the startled and shocked cry of, “WTF!!!” from the other Akatsuki members at the sight. They looked around warily, each and every one thinking, `Is the world ending?'

 

Back to Naruto and Sasuke who seem oblivious to the audience, Naruto stopped in front of Sasuke again. “Hmmm…” He mused aloud once more.

 

Sasuke twitched again and more veins popped out as well as a huge growling thundercloud over the two of them, complete with flashing lightning. (Genjutsu of course…) The audience hummed their approval at the sound effect. Itachi, Kakashi and Orochimaru nodded in approval with their arms crossed, at the idea of using genjutsu to express the innermost feelings. Besides, the genjutsu is perfect.

 

“Aha! I know what's wrong!” Naruto exclaimed out loud a finger pointed upwards in triumph.

 

The crowd gulped nervously…

 

Gai and Lee immediately jumped up and did the Power of Youth pose but was smashed down into the roof by TenTen and Neji (they did it in reflex without looking up at them) before they could do their speech… (sweatdrop)

 

“Sasuke…”

 

The crowd held its breath… Their eyes nearly hanging out from their sockets from the intensity they were watching the pair.

 

“Where's your wings?”

 

Facefaults all around causing a upward draft of smoke and dust. Iruka smiled. `Naruto is still so innocent…' he thought.

 

The blowup or release of Sasuke's pent up emotions swept through Konoha. The tirade was stopped when Naruto did his Super Duper Ultra Mega Uber Pooker Kawaii Puppy Dog Eyes on Sasuke, complete with his lower lip jutting out and trembling in a pout.

 

Crowd's hearts melted…

 

“But I was hungry, I wanted ramen and you wouldn't let me. (bright twinkly tears fell magically from his eyes) Baachan said I could eat Ramen and I've gone five months without them already… (trembling lips and bright twinkly eyes with tears in them…)”

 

Crowd goes `awwww…'

 

Sasuke tried to snap back but the very image of Naruto… (defeated sigh and turned back into normal Sasuke) “I was going to cook you ramen when you disappeared… And what did you do to the room anyway? Someone's gotta clean it up.”

 

Naruto turns his Super Duper Ultra Mega Uber Pooker Kawaii Puppy Dog Eyes on the crowd. “Pweese? Can you help us?” His lower pouting lip trembled.

 

Crowd tries to resist…. `Gahhh' (shoulders slump in defeat…) And so, Orochimaru, Kabuto, the sound nins, Tsunade, Jiraiya, Itachi, Akatsuki members, rookie 9 and their teachers, the other Konoha nins ranging from genin to ANBU, some villagers that were curious enough to watch the drama and got caught in Naruto's cute attack, all went to clean up Sasuke and Naruto's room.

 

Shikamaru grumbled, “Mendokuse… [Is the spelling right?]

 

“Chomp.” Said Chouji and Chouji-chips.

 

“Gyahhh!!! We get to see Sasuke-kun's room!!! GYAAAHHHH!!!” Screched the entire female population… yes, the ENTIRE female population. Never mind that Sasuke, the man of their dreams is now married to Naruto, their Rokudaime, expecting four kids and well, married. Not that they care apparently even the years of ignoring, scornful remarks, death glares and etc…

 

“Why are we doing this again?” Asked the three legendary sannin. [1] (Naruto appears and did his stuff.) “Oh… !&^#$&%*@!%#!*%&#$(&!#*^%$”

 

“ ……….” Went Itachi and the Akatsuki.

 

Needless to say, with so many helping hands, the cleanup and redecoration of the room went smoothly and quickly. Sasuke and Naruto retired to their rooms after thanking them and seeing them to the door. Orochimaru and the Akatsuki tried to do their stuff (Orochimaru - steal Sasuke, Akatsuki - steal Naruto.) but Naruto did his stuff again, Sasuke with his improvised death glare, both kidnapping parties sighed in defeat (mentally of course, not good for their reputation if they show what they feel in front of others. It will ruin their reputation…) and left.

 

The two lover birds made up, make out and went out like a light in the newly renovated and cleaned bedroom, snuggled in each other's arms all cuddly wuddly…

 

The crowd hadn't really left yet and they went `Awww…' outside the bedroom window as they spied at the couple, a few recorded with their camcorders. Until… the rabid squirrels and fuckin' wabbits attacked them and sent them scattering…

 

 

 

 

[1] Have you noticed that `the legendary sannin' is like `the legendary threesome'? Ohhh… kinky. But I think that it depends on how you think I think and I think you think you know what I think and probably do know what I think that I think but- ah you get my point… you think? XD

End of this chapter… NYAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Like Kakashi's `Sennen Goroshi' which means `Thousand years of pain… (I think, correct me if I'm wrong…) Sasuke's technique means `Thousand Years of Pleasure… MmmHmm…

Next up! When some of the academy kids including Konohamaru's gang asks Naruto why and how his belly got sooooooo big… -ahem- Naruto might have revealed a LITTLE TOO MUCH THERE TO THE KIDS…