Naruto Shippuden Fan Fiction ❯ Healing a pained heart ❯ Mistake ( Chapter 9 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Sakura woke up before Gaara. She looked at his peaceful face through her eyelashes and lifted the hand that rested on his neck to press lightly on his chin and open his mouth so her nipple can escape its confinement. She massaged her numb nipple with her thumb to relieve the pain. She adjusted her dress and lifted the hand that rested on her waist to put it on the spot she previously sat. She got up slowly without waking him up and massaged the back of her neck. It hurt from sleeping in the same position for hours. She was afraid she would ruin the moment if she moved.

She was in his bathroom when an idea popped into her mind. She grabbed a kunai and cut her pink locks in front of the mirror, one by one. Her hair brushed her shoulders and she decided to cut bangs too. She cleaned after herself and smiled in the mirror at the new Sakura. Her left breast still hurt a little, so she decided to have a look at it. She let the dress slide down her left shoulder and what she couldn’t notice in the darkness of the bedroom, she noticed in the light of the bathroom. There were teeth marks on her red, swollen nipple. She thought about healing it, but this love mark reminded her of Gaara. So she left it like that.

Shortly after adjusting herself again, 2 large hands wrapped around her stomach and Gaara’s chin rested on her right shoulder from behind. He seemed very happy and calm. Sakura was ashamed to kiss him before she brushed her teeth and her toothbrush wasn’t here, so she escaped his arms saying she will go prepare in her room. Gaara shrugged his shoulders and went into the shower.

Sakura was in her room, brushing her hair after the shower. She put on a pink wrap dress that reached her knees, with long straight sleeves. She wore stockings underneath. Sakura put on some glitter gloss and applied perfume on her wrists, behind her ears and between her breasts, then left the room.

When she entered the living room, she noticed Shinki looking at her squinting his eyes. Sakura stopped in her tracks because he didn’t reply to her greetings. Out of nowhere, Shinki says:

“You cut your hair. You are so ugly.”

Sakura’s eyes were bigger and she stilled. Gaara entered the room just in time to hear his son speaking.

“Shinki! Shut up!”

“But, dad. It doesn’t look good on her at all. She’s ugly.”

“Shinki! You can’t say something like that!”

The boy lowered his head and went silent. Sakura’s laughter distracted them both. She went towards the boy with her back crouched and her arms extended to him while talking in a funny voice: “You’re such a sweet little boy. You really don’t like my new haircut, do you?” He didn’t dare run away from her because that would upset his dad even more. Even though he only spoke the truth, his father got upset. Why?

Sakura used 2 bobby pins to lift the shadow from her forehead. The hair looked just like before the haircut now. “Is it better now?” The boy simply nodded. Gaara eyes him angrily from behind Sakura.

They all sat around the table to have breakfast. Shinki sat uncomfortably next to Gaara and didn’t dare make a sound although Sakura tried to talk to the both of them. Gaara couldn’t comprehend how he failed to notice her new haircut before his son voiced his thoughts. He thought about how to try and fix what his son said to her with his big mouth, even though he agreed with his son. This new haircut didn’t suit her.

“It doesn’t look that bad.”

Shinki sneered and Sakura laughed. Gaara was aware of his blunder and thought I should have said she is pretty instead.

Sakura didn’t hold a grudge. She was happy with the way her hair looked. She was the only one who was supposed to be happy about it because she had this head on her shoulders, not the boys.

After breakfast, the boys got ready to go to the academy. Today was Shinki’s first day. Gaara invited Sakura, but she declined the invitation. She didn’t want to steal the little boy’s pleasure of sharing this exciting experience with his father. Gaara already had very little time to spend with his kid. If Sakura were there, Shinki would have to share his father’s attention. Gaara grabbed Shinki’s small hand in his and forgot about his anger. They greeted Sakura and left the house. Sakura watched them from the window. She saw Gaara lift his son on his shoulders, carrying him on his back. The boy’s hands clutched his father’s red hair and screamed happily. Sakura grinned and sobbed with a sob that shook her chest.

She went to her room, swallowed 2 pills and went into her room to grab her work purse. There was nothing to do at home, so she would rather work. Only Tanaka and Midori will be at the lab because uncle Kankurou also wanted to attend his nephew’s ceremony.

“Tanaka-san, can I have a look at your report regarding the insects?”

“Of course.” He handed the report “According to the data, there is a noticeable decrease in the number of bees and red ants.”

“How much?

“20%”

“Understood.” Sakura sighed. “I noticed some strange stains on the leaves of the plants next to the oasis. There was nothing unusual with the microorganisms of fish from the water, but the leaves showed slight fading dried trails of raindrops. I want to take some samples. There might be Aluminum in the rain water.”

Midori looked uneasy.

“Why Aluminum?”

“Out of all the chemical elements we’ve found in the soil samples, the most dangerous is Aluminum. If I am right, we should find Aluminum on the leaves, too. I suspect it was mixed in the rain water. Water is very important in the desert. Its poisoning destroys all sources of food as nothing lives without water. Inside the human body, Aluminum diminishes kidney function, destroys brain cells and cognitive function.”

Tanaka and Midori looked at her with admiration. At first, Tanaka thought Sakura is just a spoiled little girl who knows nothing and will only boss them around. Now he started seeing her with different eyes.

Midori seemed restless, like something was bugging her. Sakura assumed her dark assumptions created this unrest, so she didn’t keep Midori’s red flags into her mind.

Tanaka and Midori left to grab some leaves while Sakura stayed in the lab even after lunch. She didn’t want to be alone with Noriko again, so she would rather not eat anything. She prepared multiple small bottles with water she took from different places in Suna and used the ICP-OES for their analysis. There was no need to wait for hours as last time because these samples were already liquid. She would read the results in about 2 hours.

Midori and Tanaka gathered leaves from opposite shores, so they cover a larger area faster. At some point, Tanaka started moving slower and Midori noticed beads of sweat on his forehead, the result of exhaustion. He was older than Midori, so she offered to help out of respect, but he declined. Only after she insisted to come back to the lab with both of their samples did he agree to go home. He bowed his head in gratitude towards her and headed home. After he left, Midori threw away everything they collected and picked other leaves from the way back to the lab. She was careful to choose those who were in the shadows, close to the ground, that weren’t touched by rain.

“Sakura-san, Tanaka-san gave me these leaves to deliver to you. He felt bad, so he had to go home unfortunately.”

Sakura was still waiting for the ICP-OES to return the results, so she sat on the chair with her arms crossed over her chest. She brightened up when she heard Midori and got up to take a closer look. She cut small rectangles from the leaves and observed them under the microscope while Midori sat in front of the computer.

“Sakura-san, would you like some coffee?”

“No, thank you. But I could use some green tea. Is there any?”

“Yes, I will bring you a cup.”

Midori prepared Sakura’s tea and dissolved a sleeping pill in the cup. She gave it to Sakura while smiling. Sakura felt a little lightheaded after sipping, but assumed it’s due to exhaustion and illness. Ironically, she didn’t want Midori to know, so she pretended to be ok. A headache took a hold of her and she sat down on a chair. A beeping sound alarmed her. The machine finished the analysis. She tried to get up, but strength left her by the minute and Midori encouraged her to rest “Let me handle this, please.”

While Sakura was sleeping on the chair, Midori altered the results of the study, so that no traces of Aluminum would show.

Usagi: “Come on, do it faster. We can’t risk getting caught. She can wake up any moment now.”

Later, Midori shook Sakura’s shoulder and put the cup of coffee close to Sakura’s lips, so she could take a sip and wake up. Sakura recovered and anxiously looked over the report. She was disappointed to find out her assumptions were wrong.

“This can’t be...I was sure that...”

“Sakura-san, I am sure we will get better results tomorrow. You seem very tired. Wouldn’t it be better to pick up where we left tomorrow?”

Sakura didn’t really hear what Midori said, but nodded nevertheless.

Sakura entered the house and was surprised to see the boys waiting for her in the entryway. They probably just got back because Gaara was still wearing his blue Kazekage robes and Shinki his elegant clothes for the first day of school.  Shinki seemed nervous while Gaara sat behind him waiting for something. The little boy held something round, probably made of thin glass in his little hands. It was painted with sand dunes in beige and orange colors. He suddenly started talking very formal to Sakura without looking at her. What’s going on? Shinki started by greeting her and then asked her nicely to forgive him for this morning. He bowed deeply and handed the object to her with both hands. Sakura smiled and took it while thanking him. Shinki straightened his back and looked at her expectantly. He seemed nervous and a little sad. Gaara showed Sakura through gestures to break the gift in 2. Sakura thought it was a weird thing to do, but complied with a little hesitation. Shinki released a sigh and his face broke into a smile. He turned around to look at his father, who patted his head: “Well done, Shinki.”

The boy laughed saying he was sleepy and he would like to go to bed. His father approved, so the boy ran to his room happily. He was anxious to go back to school. Apparently, the first day was quite a success because all the kids wanted to know more about him thanks to his father’s popularity. Nobody treated him bad and everyone asked him many questions. It was a happy day and he didn’t have many of these.

Sakura raised her eyebrows to Gaara, waiting for an explanation for what has just happened.

“Oh, I think you don’t have this tradition in Konoha. When you wrong someone, you have to give them a daira, like the one in your hands now. It is something that you paint on if it is made of glass or you sew on if it is made of fabric. You work on it for as many hours as you destroyed from that person’s life. If he forgives you, he will break it, meaning he also destroys something that you worked for, thus you are even. If he doesn’t forgive you, he will just keep the daira intact and you have to work on another one more. It means the person thinks you put too little effort into apologizing.”

“Oh, I didn’t know. I really wasn’t upset with him.” So this is a daira.

“It doesn’t matter. He is not allowed to talk like that. He had to apologize.”

Gaara’s seriousness amused Sakura. She got closer to him, touching his left cheek with the tips of her fingers.

“You know, children don’t like changes. They think change means something bad will happen. I and Shinki have started to get along well now, so maybe when he was my new haircut, he was afraid this will change.”

Gaara was astonished. He didn’t think of this until now. He started to understand his son’s behavior thanks to Sakura. He took a hold of her hand with both of his and brought it to his lips, kissing her knuckles.

“But nothing will change, right?”

“Maybe it will change to better.” She offered him a smile as hot as the sun.

Gaara was happy to hear her answer and, just when he was about to kiss her lips, Noriko appear from the kitchen.

”Kazekage-sama, dinner is ready.”

Gaara backed away from Sakura ashamed to get caught. Sakura laughed while Noriko only smiled to herself. She liked hampering them from time to time.

Gaara gestured Sakura to follow him.

“I have already had dinner with Shinki, but I don’t want to leave you alone. I will keep you company.”

“Thank you. I really didn’t want to be alone.” She looked down at her hands that clasped one another in front of her. She was ashamed to admit this, but loneliness bothered her the most. Sakura sat next to him at the table. Noriko brought a big bowl filled with water to wash her hands, and she started eating. Her tea was already on the table. Her lips enjoyed it every now and then. Even if Gaara was already full, it was rude to stare at someone when they eat, so he nibbled at some dates and figs. His sharp eyes noticed she was tired and a little upset, so he waited until Noriko wasn’t around to touch her right knee with his left hand and ask:

“Why are you upset, my dear?”

Sakura sighed: “I came up with an interesting theory today at the lab, but it turned out I was wrong. The results showed something different from what I thought they would be.”

She told him briefly what happened at the lab and Gaara listened carefully.

“Isn’t this good news?”

“It’s not that. I feel like something is wrong. Of course I wish I am wrong about this, but something tells me I am right. I will check again tomorrow to make sure.”

“Good. Let me know what you find.”

Sakura changed the topic by asking about Shinki’s first day and Gaara resumed the events of the day. He wasn’t very talkative except for when he was very flustered. Otherwise, he was concise.

Sakura listened to him with a smile on her lips, enjoying the story. She took the chopsticks to her mouth and opened her mouth to welcome another chunk of food when suddenly a sharp pain stabbed her right side of the stomach. She dropped the chopsticks and breathed heavily while furrowing her brows. Her back arched and her right hand quickly pressed hard on the wounded part of her body. The pressure coming from her hand made the pain dissipate. Gaara panicked and touched her back with left hand in concern. He also bent his back to search for her eyes.

“What is it, Sakura? What happened?”

“It hurts. This food is bad for me.” She said through gritted teeth while pushing the plate away with her left hand.

“I am sorry. I didn’t know.”

“Don’t worry. I didn’t know either. I told you I haven’t figured out which food is bad for me yet.” She forced a smile to make his worries go away, but it had the opposite effect.

“Allow me.” His left hand wrapped around her waist and his right hand settled on top of hers, on her abdomen. She couldn’t sit straight because of the pain, but she moved her hand away to make room for his. She guided him on how to apply pressure and where and he followed her indications.  He pulled her closer to him with the hand around her waist and noticed the beads of sweat on her forehead with concern in his eyes. Shortly after, her pain subsided; she breathed more regularly and didn’t frown anymore. When the pain went away completely, she straightened her back and apologized for making him worry.

“Don’t ever say that again. You and Shinki are the most important people for me right now. Don’t try to hide this from me. I want to help you. Give me your pain.” Gaara kissed her forehead after he turned her head to face him with the hand that previously sat on her stomach. She didn’t look at him.

“If there is anything I can do to help you, please tell me.” Gaara said this when he caressed her cheek, pulling her gently to his chest.

“Can you take me to my room?”

“Are you sure you don’t want something else to eat?”

“Yes, I am sure.”

“Then of course I will.”

The hand on her waist tightened its hold of her and his right one lifted her from under the knees. He sat her on his legs first, and then steadily got up with her in his arms. Sakura clenched her fist in his robe, on his chest, close to his heart. Gaara felt pride to realize she depended on him. She trusted him. A relationship with her came with great responsibility. He must make sure he doesn’t lose her trust.

When Gaara wanted to put her down on the bed, she protested, refusing to let go of him:

“No, please don’t let go.”

He grinned and thought of a way to fulfill her wish. He couldn’t stand with her in his arms forever. Thus, he decided to sit down on the bed, with his back leaning against the wall, his legs parted and Sakura sat across his right leg. The right side of her body leaned on his chest. He hugged her and inhaled the smell of her hair. His right hand stroked her cheek. She leaned into his hand and kissed his palm and thumb when it traced her lower lip. Sakura sobbed and rested her head in the crook of his neck, her face slightly facing upward, with her nose tickling his pulse point.

“Does anything hurt?”

“No”

He breathed freely. How can I help her?

Sakura felt bad to have him worry about her. She has always had this effect on others, which she deeply despised. She was tired of feeling useless.

“My dear” Gaara kissed her left hand and a pause followed because he didn’t know how to ask this “this disease... have you ever thought...about suicide?”

His breathing stopped waiting for an answer. A pregnant silence followed.

“Sakura?”

Finally, her emaciated voice reached his ears:

“Yes. I see my death every day before my eyes. But these thoughts are not from me. They’re caused by the disease and are a side effect of the pills I take. I have never had these thoughts before a flare or after I stopped taking pills.”

Gaara possessively tightened his hold of her and Sakura could feel a tinge of anger in his voice.

“Then why do you still take them?”

She backed away to look him in the eyes while her right hand caressed his neck, trying to calm him down. Unfortunately, Gaara couldn’t relax at all.

“The pills weaken my immune system to make the attacks on my digestive tract less powerful. This disease never fully heals. It has flares and breaks. If I don’t take the pills, my immune system will make holes in my colon and I will die.”

“Can’t you heal them yourself?”

“It wouldn’t help. My body will continue to attack until it destroys me.”

“Can’t you weaken your immune system with a cold?”

“It’s not powerful enough. There has to be something stronger than a cold. But even so, it would be very risky because we don’t know how the 2 diseases will interact. I might die this way.”

Gaara closed his eyes and thought out loud without realizing it:

“What good is a doctor who can’t heal himself when he is sick?”

Sakura’s face darkened and her breath hitched. A curtain of shadows covered her eyes and she was instantly lost in her train of thoughts. It never crossed her mind that Gaara would also think she is useless. Just like Sasuke.

Gaara panicked and mentally cursed himself because he upset her, which was far from his purpose. He tried to kiss her cheek and apologize, but she ducked. She got up from the bed and stood with her back to him, arms crossed over her chest. He kneeled with his forehead touching the floor and apologized.

“Please forgive me. I didn’t mean what I said.”

Sakura bit her lip trying to hold back tears. Her throat hurt and she didn’t even want to turn around and look at him. She didn’t want to look even more useless than she already felt.

He cursed his lack of experience in socializing. His stupid mouth voiced thoughts that should have never left his lips. If only he socialized more, he would have known when to keep his mouth shut.