Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction ❯ My Guardian of Bloody eyes ❯ My god! It's magnificent, it's beautiful, just what is it? ( Chapter 5 )

Author's notes: Been getting a lot of positive feed back from people. Here's how it's going to work. Shinji's going to go on a few dates in this series. After each date, depending on how many votes I get, it could be a lemon or a lime. Any thing that happens on these dates will not ultimately determine who ends up with Shinji, O.k., good.

Disclaimer: don't own Eva or Xenogears, oh how I wish I did.

My Guardian of Bloody eyes My God! It's magnificent, it's beautiful! What is it?

Shinji stood outside the door of Misato Katsuragi's apartment, the door one of titanium, as after Second Impact resources like it were easy to come by, since because of the flooding, massive amounts of earth, were kicked up, revealing entire under ground mountains of precious metals. So now most doors were made of this incredibly durable metal. Looking over at the lavender haired women, who mind you had the body of Aphrodite herself, Shinji still couldn't figure out the woman's reasons for allowing him to stay here. Sliding her NERV I.D. through the panel next to the door, the door then slid open revealing a hard wood floor hall way. Misato looked to Shinji who was still standing outside the door, a sheepish look on his face. "I don't want to intrude." Said Shinji in his oh so shy way (No matter what he's still Shinji, even living with a psychopath bent on killing everything he sees will not change Shinji's inner nature). "None sense, this is your home too now, treat it that way." Shinji took a few steps forward into the apartment, and into the hallway. "I'm home." Misato smiled at him as a mother would. "Welcome home."

Taking his shoes off and leaving them at the door Shinji stepped into his new home, his new life, and possibly even more problems than any person could handle. "I haven't had a chance to tidy everything up yet so it's a little messy." Stepping into the kitchen Shinji couldn't help but think one thing. `A LITTLE messy?' Already the neat freak tendencies that shall, and forever will be a part of Shinji Ikari, kicked into over drive, the mountains of beer cans, piles of stinky old take out rotting by the fridge, and the trash can was over filled with something purple, that he could have sworn reached out with a tentacle to grab the old take out. Shinji's mind then began sorting the trash into different groups by material, size, product type, weight, etc. Quickly acting Shinji began cleaning the house at a speed only rivaled by that of The Flash. Misato, who did not notice due to her back being turned, was making some nice instant ramen, at least that's what it was supposed to be, for the noodles kept trying to slither out of the pan, she was mind you boiling the noodles in beer mixed with curry and wasabi. Turning around Misato looked to find Shinji sitting at the kitchen table, panting at his extreme workout of cleaning up the apartment. "Boy Shinji, you must be starving, well dinners gonna be ready in a moment so don't worry." Shinji looked over at his commanding officer and guardian with an "Are you serious?" look in his eyes.

The room was now spotless, it had been so dirty that rats had begun living in the piles of trash, however when Shinji cleaned it up, the rats began praying to their rodent deities to bring back their palace of filth, and were now sacrificing their young to appease their gods. Setting the bowl of "until recently" ramen noodles down on the table Shinji couldn't help but wonder if he'd made the right choice in agreeing to come stay with this women. Eating the ramen, trying to be a good guest, the boy quickly learned he would have to do all the cooking around here. Misato however was having no trouble shoveling the food into her mouth. `I suppose she's built an immunity to her own cooking; that would make sense. Remembering that staring at people was rude, but in Ids case so long as they had a nice body it was quite alright, Shinji then resumed poisoning err feeding his stomach. After finishing the food, Shinji quietly walked over to the sink, cleaned out his bowl, dried it with a rag, he then placed it away. "Um, Misato-san, where's the bathroom?" Misato looked up from her second helping of ramen, and 4th can of beer. "It's past the living room down the hall and near your room." She said not pausing in her wolfing of the food, if you could call it that. Quickly walking into stated bathroom Shinji vomited into the toilet. Washing his mouth out thoroughly as he could, when one is without a tooth brush, the young Ikari then turned his eyes on taking a bath. God knows he needed it. Opening the screen to the bath/shower Shinji's mind failed to compute that baths don't just fill by themselves.

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Taking a sweet sip of satisfaction from her beer, Misato heard a scream come from the bathroom. Knowing that her new flat mate was the only other person besides her capable of screaming, Misato promptly ignored, due to her assumption that her charge's scream came from him finding out of her other flat mate. "Misato-san, there's this thing in the bath and….." Directing her voice to the bath Misato called out to the boy. "Don't worry Shinji, that's just my pet warm water penguin Pen-pen, he doesn't bite." Continuing to sip her beer Misato sighed in somewhat nirvana like bliss. She then heard rapid footsteps of previously stated boy, running as though restricted, but still quite fast. As said boy came into view she realized why he was running. Clad only in a towel Shinji was doing his best efforts to get out of the reach of Pen-pen, who was swinging a rather large butchers cleaver, what he intended do with it was quite obvious, as he continued to swing at Shinji's lower section, it became obvious the penguin wanted to make an Eunuch out of him. Rage and blood lust was in the eyes of the disgruntled penguin as he swished and swashed his cleaver, hoping to remove the boy of the thing that made him male. Misato called out to the penguin, fear of losing her charge, and possible sex slave. "Pen-pen, no, DON'T!" The maddened penguin halted in his efforts to remove Shinji of his masculinity. Looking over at the beer chugging women that Pen-pen had registered as Life Drink, and Bad dinner maker, the rather small creature waddled over to Misato, his eyes slightly downcast.

"Pen-pen, I know how much you value your privacy, but you can't go around chopping every persons `assets' when they interrupt your bath time." The penguin acted as most children would when getting their hands caught in the cookie jar. "Shinji, come one out." Shinji stuck his head out of the hallway, the looks he gave the penguin clearly showed on his face. Puzzlement, as one of his eye brows had been lifted up a slight bit. And fear, who wouldn't be little scared of a bird that could handle a knife like a sword and intended to remove your ability to create babies. "Now Pen-pen, say you're sorry." The yellow billed warm water ice fowl looked at Shinji quickly muttering a "Wark." Obviously sarcastic in nature, but it would do. "Shinji, can you cook fish?" The brown haired pilot nodded. "Make him some sardines, we've got some in the freezer, he loves it, to show him you're sorry for interrupting his bath." Shinji nodded, quickly moving the kitchen and as far from Pen-pen and his knife as he could. Quickly finding a can of the tiny fishes, Shinji cooked up an apology for the penguin fit for a king or eagle. Looking at the food with some hesitation, the Life Drink, and Bad dinner make had created food that looked just as tantalizing as this before and had tasted like fresh feces. Taking a small nibble at the offered apology Pen-pen slowly swallowed one of the fish whole. The affects were immediate, Pen-pens eyes watered, his taste buds flared, and his stomach felt relieved. Instantly Pen-pen began groveling before the young boy, acting like an acolyte would worship his deity. "Well Shinji, I guess I should leave the cooking to you then, eh? Oh wait that reminds me, we have to pick chores!" Quickly pulling out an out a large tri-fold board, Misato wrote her name and Shinji's below that with a black marker. Turning around to face the young boy Misato had a smile on her face quite similar to that of Chesire the cat from Alice in Wonderland. "We're going to play Rock Paper Scissors to pick out chores."

After the chores were listed one thing became apparent, Shinji sucked at Rock Paper Scissors. He had only won twice, and even then it gave Misato the easiest chores in the house, with Shinji doing the rest. But what could you expect really; with only ever playing the game with Id, who was even worse at it than Shinji, he'd never had much practice playing. Thinking of his care taker and martial arts instructor, and closest thing he had to a father, sent Shinji down memory lane. Thinking back to all the old style martial arts moves Id had taught him, all the training exercises, and chi manipulation techniques. These thoughts brought a smile to the young boys face, as eventually sleep claimed him.

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Dreams are an odd thing. Like most sentient creatures these things can very in their alignment, whether it be good, bad, or just plain odd. Dreams have always baffled people, as to what they actually are, some think that dreams for tell the future, others believe the dream world is the actual reality while this one being false, others think dreams are caused by sniffing to much crack. What ever your belief one thing is most certain about the dream world. Any thing is possible. So it was not out of dream power, as one might call it, to bring one back to their younger days of life. In this case Shinji was dreaming of one of his most feared memories.

If you would observe where the young boy was standing, you would note first, it was a beach, you would next note the rather large volcano in the distance, followed of course by the massive amount of cruise liners coming in the harbor not to far from here, and finally the large amount of surfers trying to catch the rather large waves spewing from the ocean. Yes, Shinji Ikari was in Hawaii. One of the great miracles of the world was that during Second Impact, Hawaii and the surrounding areas did not flood. For years scientists have tried to understand why this small chain of islands did not sink with the rising waters. It was eventually discovered that the volcano that Hawaii was so famous for was letting off constant miniature eruptions, not actually releasing lava, ash or carbon dioxide gas, not much any way, so all these eruptions served to do was keep the islands afloat with the rising waters. Allowing one the greatest tourist places on Earth to still exist.

And for the first time in a long time the ten year old boy could enjoy his life, playing in the sand, building sand castles, catching the eyes of many pre-pubescent females even though he was totally oblivious to it. Hearing the voice of his adoptive father, not legally of course but did that really matter. "Shinji, you having fun little man?" The tiny tot turned to smile the man like tomorrow wouldn't come. Id had changed out of his usual combat suit, favoring one of the tourist shirts, to help him blend in a little more. When he and Shinji had stepped off the cruise liner, one of the Hawaiians had noted is pale complexion and had promptly informed Id that he desperately needed this vacation if he was that pale. It had taken all the will power and his promise to Shinji earlier to not kill anyone that had kept him from blasting the man into oblivion.

"Uh-huh." Shinji then went back to playing in the sand. Id looked down at his charge with a feeling of pride, Shinji had come far I his training, and he could now punch through steel doors if he wanted to, leap 12 feet into the air, and as he was noticing, drawing the attention of a few girls. `Well, we should get some more training done while we're here.' Obviously Id still did not realize why they're called vacations. "Well Shinji, I think that right now we should get a quick swimming work out done, whadda ya say?" The boy was in a great mood right now, so even the idea of a little work out could not dampen his mood. "Well come on then, we've got to work on your swimming skills." Id said. One thing that Id had found interesting was that Shinji seemed to have trouble swimming at high speeds. That was in part why he'd come to Hawaii, the conditions here were perfect, clear water, lots of coral, and plenty of sea life to help Id in his little work out with Shinji. Shinji stood up, took off his shirt and ran into the awaiting sea water. Id followed suite taking his own shirt off, having kept his swimming trunks on knowing that Shinji probably would want to continue training with him. He ran into the water, fallowing Shinji, and began swimming away from shore. When the two were pretty far from the white sandy beaches Id stopped swimming, signaling Shinji to do likewise. "Alright Shinji, what I've cooked up here is a little training scheme I like to call, Cat and Mouse. You see Shinji; I chose this place as our vacation for a select few reasons. One, we can actually relax here, every time we go to a place to have fun, some priest always sees us and begins calling me a demon. Two, there are many scores of hot women here; I have noticed lately that ugly women seem to crowd our area of living." Shinji shook his head at his adoptive parent's playboy nature. "Three, well, take a look under the water Shinji." The ten year old took a quick dive under the water, he then noticed a large amount of fair sized fish coming their way. Quickly shooting up Shinji tried to warn Id of the impending doom approaching them. He was hushed however as Id raised his hand signifying the need of silence. "Those creatures Shinji, as I'm sure you've guessed, are sharks, now don't worry, I'm creating a shield, and they can't come near us, unless I drop it of course." Shinji soon realized what they're work out was going to be. The fear on the boys face was clearly evident. "Now don't worry Shinji, I know a secret about swimming that will keep those sharks from getting you or me." The boy's attitude suddenly brightened. "Wanna know what it is?" Shinji eagerly nodded his head.

Id had a big grin on his face. "The secret Shinji……."

The grin suddenly disappeared. "Is to keep swimming." The shield dropped.

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Shinji awoke quickly, that memory had not been one of his better ones. The sharks had almost gotten him five times, only stop moving then go back to chasing him. He knew now it was because Id had put the shield back up long enough for him to get a lead ahead of the sharks then let it drop again to continue the race. While he knew that Id would not have let harm come to him, the memory was still not racked as his favorites. Looking out the window in his room, which was filled with the few boxes of possessions that he owned, Shinji quickly realized he'd be late for school if he did not get ready. Heading to the bathroom to take a quick shower, but first checking for any penguins, Shinji shampooed, and conditioned his hair, along with a quick soaping. Moving out of the shower, still slightly wet as he had not finished drying himself, he quickly got on his daily attire of a blue under shirt, white over shirt, black pants, and sneakers. He then made a quick breakfast, Shinji quickly (notice how much I've used that word) ate a cup ramen, and grabbed a pre-pared bento from the night before, sadly it was made by Misato. Getting out the door at exactly 6:42, Shinji would have enough time to make it to school, and a little bit for introductions.

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The Angel Shamsiel was in a bit of a dilemma. You see his Super Solenoid organ, or S2 organ, gave him unlimited power, this is true, he could power his energy whips as much as he wanted this was true, however one thing about this is that it taxes on his calories and metabolism, meaning one thing, he needed a quick bite to eat. The problem was the only meat source right now was this old man stuck in side his out house, porta potty for those of you who don't know. So here was his dilemma, he could not eat the old man and his crapping stall hope there was some other meat source nearby and eat that until he reached the next town. Or he could eat the portapotty itself along with the old man and what ever the old bag of wrinkles had `dropped'. The first one sounded better, but there was no guarantee he'd find meat near here, he was in Death Valley after all, how insane was this geezer living out here. So it his choices were, eat the old man and his piss and crap, or don't eat it, and possibly die from starvation and become the biggest vulture feast in history. He made his choice.

*Crunch*

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The class of room 2-A was a some what small group. They had your average teenage groups, hot women, ugly women, handsome guys, ugly guys, geeky people, jock people, bossy people, albino people, and people with crushes in the hearts, people who crush hearts, people who just don't care, but never had they had a people err person, who could attract the attention of every girl in the class. It was something that Kensuke Aida took notice of very quickly; as he sat down in his chair he couldn't help but notice the attention of every girl in the class, besides Hikari, was drawn to a certain boy. This boy of whom Kensuke had never met or seen before seemed totally unaware of it however. Checking to see if one Rei Ayanami had also taken notice of the boy, no she was starring out the window as always. But if young Kensuke had looked close enough, he would notice the azure haired girl was tilting just a few millimeters towards the new student, and were one very good at reading people, you would notice a great deal of strain on the girls face. (In other words her eyes lids had moved up half a millimeter.) As though she was trying not to look at the young man, and was slowly failing.

Shinji as usual was totally oblivious, why, you may ask? Well, he's just a wee bit anxious about introducing himself to the class. So his mind was kind of preoccupied. And well, when you're the new kid, people do tend to look at you, so past it off as just a routine thing. The door to the class room opened up revealing a boy with a slight tan, black hair, wearing a black tracksuit, some how the suit reminded Shinji suspiciously of Id. The boy sat down in a seat relatively far away from him to begin talking with a kid covered in freckles, wearing geeky glasses, and sandy blonde hair that needed a comb more than any person he'd seen. The two boys began talking of things that Shinji didn't particularly care about; he did however notice the boys glancing at him every now and then. Soon the teacher entered the room, ending all conversations immediately, and bringing with him a foul smell so terrifying and ancient that it had existed since Egypt's creation, as had the old man. Hikari being Class Representative went through the standard "Stand, Bow, and Sit." Procedure, to which every one followed, for to disobey Hikari Horaki was like bringing down the swift wrath of an evil dictator. Soon the teacher began droning on about Third Impact.

Shinji was slightly relieved that he didn't need to introduce himself; he was never good with an audience. One thing that Shinji had noticed was a red laptop stationed on every desk, these computers seemed to be designed to take notes, chat to your friends without disrupting the class through E-mail, or personal chat rooms an interesting concept, however there was a problem, and it lied with Shinji. It wasn't that the boy was computer deficient, it was that as pre-Contact his powers acted some what randomly, especially with electronic devices, it was also one of the minor reasons he had been reluctant to pilot Unit 01. One time he'd been trying to order a sweat shirt online, instead he'd ended up creating the legendary Kill me virus, a computer virus that acts as a suicidal person does, gaining the pity of others and eventually their love. What the Kill me does is acts like a virus so badly made that it can't do any harm to a computer, so all anti virus programs just let it slip by, then in mutates and starts destroying every thing on a computer, and eventually becomes a part of the computer it self, so drastic measures like reformatting won't work. It was just a sign of how chaotic his abilities were, Id said it all stemmed from his lack of electrical power control, which had resulted in him being tied to a lightning rod, trying to absorb a nearby storms electrical energy, not one of his fondest memories I can assure you. So when a message appeared on his computer Shinji's old fear returned in earnest. The message read, and I quote "Are you the pilot?"

Shinji looked around the room suspiciously, any one who could guess his status had to have some inside knowledge on who he was, they had to have been out of the shelters watching the battle between him and the Angel as it happened, because the news had stated it was just a misplaced N2 mine. (I wouldn't expect the government to come up with any thing less.) Who ever they are, they obviously already knew, so what was the point in hiding it, after all what could go wrong? Typing out "Yes." On his computer Shinji hit the enter button. Instantly Murphy's Law took effect as the class rooms power suddenly turned off. The change in lighting however did little to impede the teachers lecture. The class room door opened revealing a slightly middle aged woman with blonde hair just beginning to turn grey. "The cities in a black out right now, so we need every one to head outside until they fix the power, that will however only be until late in the after noon, outside classes however will continue as usual."

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Shamsiel couldn't help but feel that life hated him. After he'd eaten the old man and his shed, he'd found an entire field of cows, what they were doing in the desert he had no idea. Of course at that time he'd been too disgusted with his previous meal to eat any thing, so he'd continued on to his destination. From the intelligence reports Sachiel had given him, based on the data collected by the now two headed schizophrenic, the lilum had a security grid that would announce his arrival as soon as he tripped the alarm, then they'd swarm him, and beat the shit out of him. (After his last meal I'd think that would be a good thing.) But something was puzzling him, based on reports the lilum should have come all guns blazing, yet they weren't, something didn't smell right, and it wasn't the anchovies market he was passing either.

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Outside sports were not some thing Shinji liked, and for good reason. The workouts with Id as a child had been so much more challenging tough and for that matter painful. You see it wasn't that Shinji couldn't handle the sports, it was that he was so far ahead that sports like baseball, basket ball, football, they were far too easy, he was already beginning to miss his training days, that in it self was some what scary. Feeling a light tapping on his shoulder Shinji turned to see a particularly tall young man wearing a black track suit glaring at him with what seemed to be unrivaled hate. Knowing that the situation was tense, and depending on how he handled the situation could change the out come of what was about to happen. "Yes can I help you?" Shinji said, mentally analyzing the boy before him, trying to gauge his martial arts abilities. "Yeah you can!"

Biff! (I've always wondered about that sound effect)

Shinji keeled over in pain, the boy had just kicked him in the balls, he had expected possibly a punch to the solar plexus, maybe one in the face, but what this boy had just done was down right low! One of the things that Id had managed to teach Shinji in his training was that if a person hits you in the balls, then you have every right to cut off theirs. He wouldn't do that to this boy, no, he'd just break a few of his ribs, pull his arms out of their sockets, and drop a brick on his gonads to pay him back. Recovering from the excruciating pain of ball blow out, Shinji leaped at the young man before him, giving him a good head but, lightly stunning the boy. Then followed by a swift grab at the elbow that put the young man in a lock that if he moved at all he would break his own arm. Shinji looked in the young mans eyes, the hate was still there, the want to harm him.

`What could I have done to warrant such behavior?' Shinji thought. Slowly letting go of the boy Shinji began to calm down a little bit, breathing in and out through his nose. "Now, just who are you and why do you want to fight me?" The boys eye brows twitched in irritation.

"You're the pilot of the large mech, right?" Shinji nodded. "Touji Suzuhara, pleasure to meet you. During the attack, my sister got stuck outside the shelters, she was trying to find friend of hers, who was lost in one of the buildings that was destroyed during your fight with that monster. She's in the hospital now because you couldn't pilot well enough!" Shinji raised an eyebrow at that last statement, some what confused as to this boy's predicament.

"Let me get this strait, you're trying to beat me up, because I didn't take the exact hit that was coincidentally heading to the exact building your sister was in, so because I failed to protect her, even though I didn't know she was there, you're trying to hurt me, further hampering my lack of skills at piloting, resulting in more people getting hurt, that about it?" Touji of course didn't care, his sister was in the hospital, and this guy was trying to get out of retribution, how dare he! "Look, I'm sorry for what happened to your sister, but I can't go around taking every hit those monsters throw at me, just because of the possibility that some one might be in a building that's about to be destroyed, now if you will excuse me." Shinji then left Touji; the boy couldn't help but feel that his pride had been taken down a notch.

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The schools had finally gotten power back on at around 3:00, just in time for the school bell and Angel alarm to go off. Recognizing the alarm from the previous day, the children, all but Shinji and Rei, quickly exited the class room to head to the nearest shelter. The two remaining students quickly exited the school post haste, heading to the front of said school they found a car awaiting them to take them to NERV. Receiving immediate orders to suit up while Rei sat on stand by, in case he just happened to be defeated, Shinji suited up in the plug suit that only now did he realize he would be seeing a lot of in times to come. Exiting from the men's locker room Shinji quickly pressed the button allowing the suit to conform to his body. The problem was with most skin tight clothing, the plug suit was designed by a woman. (I'm not a sexist. It's just that they usually fail to remember about certain parts of male anatomy that hurt when ever they are closed in tight like that.) So when the plug suit became air tight so suddenly, it kind of hurt. Cringing in slight agony, Shinji went towards the Eva cages. Pressing a button near the 4inch thick steel door located on a panel, the door slid open, revealing that same grinning face of Eva Unit 01.

Sitting in the entry plug, just beginning the synchronization, Shinji couldn't help revile in the feeling of being 40 meters tall. Slowly the LCL rose and met Shinji's taste buds and nostrils. "That's odd, now it tastes like grape fruits." He thought to himself as the Eva was slowly set in place for the launch.

"EVA LAUNCH!"

Quickly the g-forces came to surround his body, the force was immeasurable, and he couldn't help but feel that the force was stronger than before. Hitting the surface Shinji was immediately informed of the situation. The Angel had snuck into (More like floated into) the city during the blackout, which at that time the alarms weren't working so it had gone in undetected. `Some how I find that hard to believe.' He thought to himself. So during the time the power had gotten back on NERV had already begun trying to stop it with regular means of weaponry, so far they had been unsuccessful. When he'd asked where the Angel was the command crew had promptly told him to follow the explosions. He wouldn't need to do that however as the Angel came into view, its head was shaped like a squid, however it seemed to have a rather long back, much like a snake. Locating what appeared to be a pair of glowing green whips, which were melting everything they touched; Shinji quickly realized he would not be able to toy with this creature as he had the last one. "Misato, do we have any long ranged weapons for the Eva's?" The tactical commander quickly began running through the list of weapons that they had been able to create, despite their some what frail funding. "Yes there's a weapons building just a block down from your current position, there should be an assault rifle located there." Shinji needed nothing more, running up to the building Shinji ordered the Eva to press down on a small green button located on its side. The building swiftly folded down revealing a 90mm round assault rifle, 32 rounds in each clip, with a bandolier filled with spare clips. Strapping on the bandolier and placing the assault rifle in hand, Shinji charged into battle.

`Ungggggg, I don't feel good.' Were the thoughts of Shamsiel as he destroyed another VTOL squadron. Oh the pain was unbearable, he didn't think he could go on, he needed to lie down, he needed some water, he needed to take a crap. *Kakakakakakakakakakakakakakaka.* the feeling of twenty sharp points digging themselves into his back. He then decided to turn around, not a good idea as one of the bullets hit him where his stomach was, where ever that is. Shamsiel keeled over in pain, he could feel his inner organs rumbling, he then began to rock back and forth, the world kept spinning and spinning for him.

"Dr. Akagi, there seems to be some thing wrong with the Angel, can you scan it or some thing." The false blonde scientist then ran over to the console of Maya Ibuki, who had just played a jolly good game of solitaire, which was all she really could do on this lame computer system. Akagi pushed her assistant out of the way, and began to type like a mad woman (to have actually slept with Gendo, I wouldn't doubt it.). Then the statistics came flaring on the screen, revealing the Angels inner intestines, and trust me they weren't pretty. Finally getting enough information, she replied. "It seems to have ingested something its body couldn't process, hit it just below the head, in the core while you can." Needing nothing more Shinji pulled out his progressive knife and dashed in right in front of the sick Angel. Locating the core, which had turned a sickly green color he then began to stab it multiple times.

That was all Shamsiel's body could take, his head then split down the center, revealing his reversed mouth, its teeth coming in from the sides, in the back there was a large purple tongue, which was twitching every now and then. Sensing that this was not a good time to stand in front of the Angel, stepping back a few blocks the boy then waited.

Shooting from its mouth was a large amount of brown liquid, landing on the city floor, with what a appeared to be an out house in the center that kept shaking. Suddenly its door flew open revealing an old man with a really bad back problem wearing suspender over alls. He kept muttering something about `dang nabbed youngsters, always waking me up in my office, why I never.' The old man waddled from the battle scene, and onto Death Valley, fading into the sunset.

Shamsiel couldn't take it any more, the terrible food, the constant puns, and the lilums themselves, no wonder so few of them were pure hearted, they lived such terrible lives. Slinking up strait, Shamsiel then lit a cigarette, the cigarette being a few meters long. Jutting his core forward to give Shinji a perfect shot. Still keeping the large cigarette in his mouth, Shamsiel spoke. "Take le shot, my worthy adversary." It appeared he also had a French accent. Lifting the gun to give Shamsiel what he wanted, he fired. There was a huge explosion.

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Waking up Shinji stared at a white hospital ceiling. With a frown on his face Shinji couldn't help but think. `Ya know, if this keeps happening we're probably going to need to paint that.'

Author's notes: good god, finally finished this chapter. Sorry for the long wait you guys, school kept me really busy, even though it's almost Christmas, it seems like teachers get more sadistic as you get closer to holidays. My fingers have also become numb due to the cold, so typing is very hard. That last sentence took me five minutes. We may see more Mina and Lita in the next chapter, all you hentia's are. Any how, you may notice as the story progresses that I've changed some of the Angels names, I have done this to fit my puns, which I must admit are slightly disgusting, what can you expect from watching stand up comedy all the time. Thanks for Reading and Reviewing, it means a lot to me as always. Sorry if this chapter sucked, I've been having writers block for the past few days. Thanks again. Have a nice day.

Konous the grey.