Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ The Adventures of Jusenkyo Man: All About Eva ❯ Chapter 7

The Adventures of Jusenkyo Man:

All About Eva

By Lord Raa

Chapter Seven.

##########

I have received information that informs me of an error I made in my pre-story disclaimer for the last chapter. It appears that I should have used the term "children" not "kids", as a kid is the term for a baby goat.

According to the representative from the Barnyard Animal Association, this story is actually suitable for kids. That means that this crap is suitable for juvenile quadruped mammals, but not young people.

Weird, isn't it?

##########

SEELE liked to think of itself as pretty much all power and able to foresee events, especially for when it came to Instrumentality. Of course Gendo Ikari's plans were not entirely clear to them, but the fact that they had their fingers in an astounding number of pies was of great comfort to them, as was their myriad of security measures.

So when Chairman Lorenz's image suddenly disappeared during their discussion on whether or not events were deviating from the plans laid out in the Dead Sea scrolls, they started to panic.

His image returned and he coughed. "My apologies, it seems we have a few technical problems. We shall resume this discussion when we can be sure that the links are truly secure."

##########

The arrival of Shinji and Rei together sparked off a new round of speculation for the rumour mill. Rei was not one to mix socially and to see her with the new school heartthrob caused much envy among the girls.

One of the more industrious students had conducted an investigation in order to find out more about Shinji. It seemed that the local saviour of humanity was living with a Nerv co-worker and the boys became jealous when it was revealed that Shinji was living with the stunning Misato Katsuragi.

Of course, all the girls grumbled about perverts, though it was not entirely clear to whom the complaint was directed as Misato copped a feel as she gave Shinji a kiss for luck.

Rei walked into the homeroom a few minutes ahead of Shinji and found herself bombarded with questions. The class started by asking about the woman that arrived with her and Shinji.

"She is Captain Katsuragi, Chief Tactical Officer of NERV."

"Why did she kiss Shinji like that?"

"I did not see the captain kiss Shinji-kun," Rei spoke with what sounded like concern. Concern for Shinji and concern that Misato was muscling in on her territory - being extra nice to Shinji.

Hikari asked what was going on between Rei and the quiet new student

"I am his girlfriend."

"WHAT?"

"I am a girl and I am his friend, does that not make me his girlfriend?" Rei asked puzzled.

The class rep explained what her and the other girls meant by the term and how it referred to a certain level of intimacy.

"I see," Rei replied. "Shinji-kun and I have seen each other naked, does that count?"

"WHAT??"

Rei blinked at the loud outburst from Hikari.

"I said `Shinji-kun and I have seen each other naked, does that count?'"

Shinji had arrived too late to hear Rei announce what she had seen.

`Huh?' the pilot thought as he was surrounded by his classmates.

"Is it true?" Kensuke asked as he got in Shinji's face with his camera.

"Is what true?" he asked confusion clearly visible on his face.

"That you've seen Ayanami naked! Is she a natural blue?" Kensuke continued his inquisition.

The young Ikari blushed at the military otaku's follow-up comments until the second question sank in. "What do you mean a `natural blue'?"

Before anybody could answer the confused boy, the teacher arrived and Hikari was forced to call the students to order.

##########

Misato rolled into Nerv headquarters at 11am with a silly grin on her face.

Noting the dirty look Ritsuko was shooting at her; Misato simply moved past her friend to the coffee machine and smugly informed those around her how she gave Shinji a hot oil massage the previous night and how good his taut young body felt.

The blonde grumbled something about perverts, yet failed to see the hypocrisy in arranging to have the Magi accurately map Shinji's body through a series of high resolution scans so she could construct a 1:1 scale model of the boy's genitalia from the latest materials with a warmth and texture that could pass for skin.

"Oh, I'm sorry Ritsuko, I didn't hear you properly. What was that you said about Shinji?" Misato teased.

"I said that you're a pervert, Misato," Ritsuko repeated getting on her high horse. "You're a degenerate old maid who's using the last of her feminine wiles to get a naïve young man to cook and clean up after her because she couldn't learn to do it herself."

Misato reacted to her friend's barbed comments. "I'll have you know that Shinji cares about me. He doesn't see me as just a sex object like most boys his age would."

Misato sighed happily at the thought of a relationship with Shinji that was based on each other's feelings. Not that Misato would have objected to a relationship with the pilot of Unit 01 that _was_ based solely on sex.

"That doesn't mean you should treat him like one," the blonde sniped.

"Hey!" the captain protested. "I'm not the one that keeps trying to get semen samples from Shinji."

The doctor snorted cynically at her friend's ploy to embarrass her into leaving Shinji alone and countered with; "please, Misato. I bet you played up your scar to gain his sympathy."

Misato glared at her old friend. `Bitch,' she thought darkly over her coffee mug. "You're just bitter because _I_ get to be his roommate," shot back with a smug voice. "Besides, you're his doctor, isn't there some kind of rule about doctor/patient relationships?"

"How else am I supposed to help him as his sex therapist if I don't take a `hands on' approach?" Ritsuko was becoming exasperated with her friend.

"Sempai, Shinji-kun doesn't need a sex therapist," Maya Ibuki pointed out. "He just needs someone who's a _little bit_ older to teach him how to make a lady feel good. But I suppose that it would be best if you were to observe and give _us_ pointers, Sempai," she added as she stepped closer to Ritsuko.

Maya had finally let the object of her crush know how she felt about her and the new flavour of the month, Shinji.

Ritsuko calculated the possibilities of a relationship with Shinji and Maya. Said possibilities were many and sordid and included something that had not been previously considered when she appraised the slight frame of her assistant and her short (for a woman's) hair. `Yes, a bit of role-play might be in order,' Ritsuko thought as she wiped some drool off her chin. "We shall have to work out the details, Maya-chan."

As Maya nodded happily, Misato frowned. `I must act fast before Bottle Blondie and Rug-muncher get their perverted claws into Shinji's innocent body.'

Of course, Misato completely ignored the fact that if she had the chance, Shinji wouldn't be so innocent for much longer and she'd have a big grin on her face.

Fuyutsuki arrived in the break room and interrupted the ladies' fantasies about a certain spinally challenged boy with a new mission for the tactical officer.

"Captain Katsuragi, you are required to go and meet up with the Second Child and Unit 02. Commander Ikari has suggested that the Third Child should accompany you. You have an early evening flight, go and retrieve him from school," he ordered.

"Yes sir," Misato saluted. When the second in command of NERV left, she smiled broadly at her fellow alumni and the young technician. "Well, it looks like I have to be off. See you around, Ritsuko."

"Bitch," Maya and Ritsuko both muttered under their breath.

##########

About ten minutes before the lunch bell rang, Shinji's mobile phone rang.

He apologised to the class and answered the call from Misato.

"Misato-san?"

*Shinji! How are you doing?*

"I'm fine, but the teacher is not happy that you've interrupted the lesson. Is there an emergency at NERV?"

*Not really, but you are needed for a mission. I'll be at your school in a few minutes to pick you up. Put your teacher on.*

"Ok, Misato-san," Shinji replied as he handed the phone to his frowning teacher.

"What do you think you're doing disturbing my students?" he angrily demanded of the purple haired captain.

*Please understand that Shinji's job is to fight the Angels and prevent the Third Impact. If he fails in just one of his missions, then we're all dead. Got it?* she barked at the elderly man before ending the call.

"Well, you should gather your things, Ikari-kun: it looks like you're needed at you job," the pre-Second Impact man said sarcastically as he handed Shinji back the phone.

"Sorry about Captain Katsuragi, sensei," Shinji bowed as he apologised. "I'm afraid I don't know when I'll be back."

"Wait!" Kensuke piped up. "You mean that you're going somewhere with Captain Katsuragi?"

Touji perked up at the idea of being with Misato. "A road trip with Misato-san?"

Rei frowned, though the expression was not noticeable to the causal observer. `Captain Katsuragi may take advantage of Shinji-kun now that she has this opportunity to get him alone. I should supervise them.'

Standing up, Rei inadvertently attracted the attention of the class.

"Are you going somewhere, Miss Ayanami?" the teacher asked. "I recall only Shinji being called away."

"I am needed by Shinji-kun's side. There are those that would take advantage of his kind and gentle nature. I need to protect him."

Shinji's embarrassment at the words of the albino pilot was cause for concern among the female students. The class rep in particular was pretty sure that the fact that Shinji was the only person that the quiet girl referred to by their first name suggested that her words were a euphemism; and what she really meant was that they would need protection against pregnancy.

Though the idea of having Shinji's baby was looking quite appealing,

The rumour mill would be started up again at lunchtime; with the discussion of the night time habits of Rei, Misato and Shinji being the cause of many perverted dreams that night.

Kensuke's pictures of Misato in a school uniform helped see to that. They also helped the military otaku pay for some new model kits.

The teacher was well aware of the identity of Rei's guardian and decided to allow the girl to leave the class. "Very well, Miss Ayanami. You may leave as well."

##########

Misato pulled up to the visitor's parking lot with her customary driving habits, i.e. dangerously as the lunchtime bell sounded.

She got out of the car and sat on the bonnet, her eyes eagerly scanning for Shinji. When the pilot of Unit 01 exited the school, she smiled brightly.

That was until she saw the blue hair of Rei follow him outside into the sunshine.

`What's that bitch doing out here?' Misato thought angrily. In her opinion, the pilot of Unit 00 served only to test her love for Shinji. She considered the fact that Rei had been there during last night to an aberration.

"Captain Katsuragi, I will be accompanying you and Shinji-kun on this mission."

"Not according to Sub-commander Fuyutsuki, you won't. He didn't say anything about you coming along," Misato explained.

Rei pulled out her phone and direct dialled Gendo. Luckily she had the world's best poker face, otherwise the NERV tactical officer would be smirking more than she was now. Before hanging up, she went for plan B. `I cannot make sure of Shinji-kun's chastity remaining intact if I am not there. I will use those two mentally challenged and hormonally charged boys to distract Captain Katsuragi from her efforts,' she thought.

"You are quite correct, Captain Katsuragi. However, Shinji's friends are also going to accompany you," Rei spoke with what was beginning to look suspiciously like a smirk to the purple-haired captain.

Misato growled as the two stooges came running out to greet her.

"Shinji!" Touji shouted as he bounded up the NERV employees.

"Hi Touji," Shinji returned. "What can I do for you?"

Rei decided to answer. "You will be accompanying Shinji-kun while he and Captain Katsuragi go on a NERV mission. Aida-kun will also be travelling with you."

Kensuke smiled when he heard that and was most thankful that he carried his camera with him at all times. "Cool!"

Misato twitched momentarily. `But they are Shinji's friends, so it would be best if I made nice with them.' "Right," she sighed as she just knew that the stooges were thinking dirty thoughts about her, "everybody who's coming along best get in the car and belt up."

##########

On the aircraft carrier, Over the Rainbow, Asuka Langley Sohryu was looking for a certain person.

"Kaji, where are you?" she pined for the special investigator. She wanted to talk about a strange dream she had about a really funny looking penguin.

Said scruffy looking individual was speaking with the captain of the ship, explaining why they were expecting visitor via a NERV VTOL.

When Asuka saw it touch down, she remembered that she was meeting with Captain Katsuragi and rushed out to see her.

##########

Touji was trying his best to cool in front of Misato while Kensuke was filming everything and providing a commentary.

Misato was doing her best to make sure Shinji was close to her in case of emergency. And though the water looked a bit on the cold side, she would have been happy to act as his "personal floatation device".

When a certain arrogant redhead stepped out in a yellow sundress, all eyes turned to that direction.

Luckily, a bit of dust blowing into his eye caused Shinji to turn away as another gust conspired against Asuka and showed her "goods" to the other Tokyo-3 natives.

Kensuke and Touji both decided that this trip was already worth the effort.

"Sweet," the jock mumbled.

Asuka took offence to being ogled by the junior high school students and tried to slap some sense into the three of them.

Before Asuka could make it three out of three, Misato grabbed the girl's hand as it neared Shinji's face. "Shinji didn't see anything he shouldn't have."

"How can you be so sure?" she demanded.

"Some dust flew into my eye," Shinji weakly protested.

When Asuka took a good look at Shinji, she noticed that Unit 01's pilot was actually telling the truth. "Ok, but if he does something perverted, I'll smack him."

Kensuke noticed that there was a distinct lack of justice in this world, as Misato fussed over Shinji and dragged him to the infirmary.

##########

After a minor detour to the medical facilities, Misato brought Shinji to the mess for something to eat. It was then when she saw the bane of her college life.

"Hi there, Misato-chan!" Kaji called out.

"Great, *he*'s here," she grumbled as she sat next to Shinji, denying him an escape route from her roving hands.

"So, you're the famous Third Child, Shinji Ikari."

Shinji looked at the man who had revealed his identity to Asuka who looked most unhappy at this turn of events.

"You know who I am?" he asked in a surprised tone.

"Are you kidding? You're famous in our line of work, kiddo. You synchronised with Unit 01 with no training and managed to beat an Angel," Kaji smirked.

Asuka was taking this with her usual "I'm the best unless you can prove otherwise" attitude, and said nothing. But she did note the way Kaji was eyeing up Misato. `That brazen whore,' she thought darkly, `is trying to steal Kaji away from me.'

"So, how do you know Misato-san?" Shinji asked the intelligence agent.

"We used to date in college," Kaji replied, "and for a while after. So tell me, is she still wild in bed?"

Shinji blushed heavily at the scruffy man's question.

Misato slammed her hands down on the table. "How can you say such things in front of Shinji?"

Kaji was taken aback by this change in attitude from someone that had a reputation for sexual experimentation. "When did you become such a prude, Misato-chan?"

"I'm not! It's my responsibility to protect Shinji, and I won't have you corrupting Shinji like that," Misato yelled. She felt most upset with her former boyfriend.

Luckily for Misato, neither Ritsuko, Rei nor Maya were there to dispute her claims.

"Dude, I'm so jealous," Touji spoke to his fellow stooge.

Kensuke nodded. "To have Misato-san to look after you like that means that she really likes him."

Kaji frowned; he'd never seen Misato act like that before. He decided to see just how far the relationship between Shinji and Misato went. "Shinji, I hear you had some excitement recently. Something about a fight, care to share the details?"

Shinji looked down at his food. But before he could respond, Misato hugged him tightly to her chest.

"Shinji risked his life for me," she gushed happily as she stroked Shinji's hair.

Asuka nearly gagged in disgust at the sight of a grown woman fawning over a boy. Kaji she could understand, but a pathetic creature like Shinji? Eww!

"Ikari," Kensuke asked puzzled, "is there something you're not telling us?"

"Shinji doesn't want to talk about it," Misato said as she took charge of this particular topic of discussion. "Now, how about a walk, Shinji?"

"Yes, that's a good idea," Asuka agreed. `That way you're not trying to tempt Kaji away from me,' was added silently.

"What about us?" Touji asked. He'd hoped to get some alone time with Misato, as had Kensuke.

"I'm not particularly bothered, as long as you don't cause any trouble." Misato casually dismissed the two young lechers as she stood up with Shinji in tow.

##########

As Shinji was lead around the ship by his hand, Misato tried to think of a way to answer any questions Shinji had about her relationship with Kaji without sounding like a slut.

The young Ikari did have a question, though it was not the one the captain expected.

"Misato, why are you holding my hand?"

"It's so you don't get lost, silly," Misato replied with a smile. She saw a familiar and unwelcome sight out of the corner of her eye.

"There you are, Misato-chan."

Misato's eye twitched. `That bastard's going to try it on, I just know it.'

"Hello, Kaji-san," Shinji greeted.

"Hi Shinji." Kaji returned. "So, Misato what do you say to the idea of us going out for a drink sometime?"

"I don't have time to go out drinking any more," Misato lied. "I need to remain sober in case of an Angel attack."

Shinji sensed the impending confrontation and made a temporary escape to the nearby toilets. "I'll be back in a minute."

Misato nodded, not taking her eye off Kaji. "So what really brings you here?"

"I'm on a mission for NERV. What's with you and the kid?"

"Shinji is special, Kaji. He behaves like a gentleman," Katsuragi glared at the man of dubious morals.

"Oh please, Misa-chan. I bet you're just trying to make me jealous."

"I'm not. I care about Shinji and he cares about me," Misato insisted.

Kaji wasn't buying it and stepped closer to the purple haired lovely. "You know you want me," he said as he placed a hand where he shouldn't.

Shinji returned from his pit stop and saw the look of disgust on Misato's face as Kaji groped his ex.

As he watched Misato struggle and slap the long haired man, Shinji knew that he didn't have a chance in a straight fight, and so performed the secret technique that will win you every game of scissors/paper/stone.

Ryoji Kaji gasped for air after Shinji's sucker-punch to his throat.

"Misato-san doesn't like to be touched like that," Shinji informed the stunned man. "She told me about how you cheated on her. She's my friend, and I won't let anybody hurt her while I can still draw breath," his voice was strong and his tone dared anyone to prove him wrong.

The youngsters from Tokyo-3 witnessed this and made a mental note not to annoy Shinji too much.

Asuka also saw this and nearly went over to smack the shit out of Shinji, but remembered that she'd seen her travelling companion act like a drunken sexist pig. "That idiot," she muttered sourly.

Kaji took this opportunity to regroup, and slipped away quietly.

Touji, in a rare moment of wisdom, kept quiet about whether feeling up Misato was worth the price of taking a blow to the voice box and just nodded in agreement with Asuka.

Kensuke merely filmed the departing couple, and grumbled about the injustice of it all as he could almost see the hearts floating around the gorgeous Misato. He slipped to the floor and looked up, as if the camera was attached to his face.

"Oh baby," he muttered too loudly for his own good.

Asuka turned, her eyes scanning for the perverted otaku, when she saw him looking up her skirt, her rage found a valid outlet. Growling, she grabbed Kensuke by the collar and pinned him to the wall.

"That's a nice camera, can it be used for colonoscopies?" she asked in a dangerously sweet tone.

"Help Touji," the bespectacled boy pled.

"Hey," the jock interrupted Asuka's plan for violence.

A swift back kick to the wedding tackle silenced Touji. "I don't have time to beat the shit out of both of you, so stay down Meathead."

Touji, groaning in pain, decided that Asuka might be a tougher foe than he expected and so complied with the redhead's demand.

##########

Misato was sure that she'd found the man of her dreams in Shinji and hugged him tightly. "Hold me Shinji," she practically begged as she whispered into his ear.

Shinji went along with his housemate's request, but found her moving his hands onto her ass.

"M-misato-san!" he protested.

"What is it Shinji?" she looked round for signs of impending danger.

"I shouldn't be touching you like that," he explained. "I don't want to be like Kaji."

Misato laughed. "Shinji, you are *always* welcome to touch me wherever you like, whenever you like. Besides my darling, you are as far away from being Kaji as is humanly possible," Misato started to explain as she sat down with Shinji on a nearby set of chairs. "First of all, you look after me, and I really want to show my appreciation."

Shinji blushed at Misato's proximity. He could feel her breath tickling his face.

"Secondly, my fling with Kaji was just youthful exuberance: I want to spend the rest of my life with you," she added as she took hold of Shinji's hands.

A young lieutenant walked by and saw the touching scene between the two Japanese visitors. "Lucky kid," he muttered to himself.

"Lieutenant Collins, you're needed on the bridge, sir," a petty officer informed him.

"What's happened?"

"The sonar has picked up something large, and it's moving towards us quickly," he explained.

Misato heard this and dragged Shinji to the bridge after the officers.

##########

To be continued…

Thanks go out to my pre-reader, Chi Vayne, who provided some valuable assistance.

Some of you out there are probably wondering why Asuka is not trying to jump Shinji's bones like Misato and the others. Don't worry, it won't last. My poor writing will make Asuka "see the light", as it were.

Are there any questions, suggestions, comments or complaints? Leave them in your usual manner.

Email is best used for direct and private discussion.

The addresses are (lordraa) AT (hotmail.com)

Or (lordraa) AT (digitalpimp.co.uk)

I'll respond to all emails that aren't flames.