Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ All That I Am ❯ Fourteenth Refrain ( Chapter 14 )

Evangelion Fanfiction

By Otaku D-Man

Standard Disclaimer.

Refer to the First Refrain

Author's Pre-Rant -

More angst, though slightly subdued, (I know, I know, I'm trying to get past it but it is part of what made Evangelion so enthralling.) to digest while Shinji awaits his release and Rei, Misato and everyone else tries to deal with how their lives are beginning to spiral out of control. Writing angst is not my forte (some may have noticed that writing period is not my forte) so bear with me while I fumble my way through this.

All That I Am

Fourteenth Refrain - Lying To Yourself

Nerv Detainment Cells

Time.

By definition, an indefinite, continuous duration where one event succeeds another. Each individual's perception, the way they measured this passage of past becoming present whilst waiting for the future was different. Time seemed to be able to slow down where seconds could drag on for hours but also speed up so that days can pass by without our realization.

For Shinji Ikari, time was now a punctual series of delivered meals breaking the prolonged bouts of darkness. The steel door would slide open and a guard would deposit a plastic tray on the metal bench and remove the one left previously. Even if he had been hungry, the unappetising smell and appearance of the meals would have given him pause. As it was, he couldn't really tell whether he was hungry or not. In all honesty he was having trouble thinking, which was something of a relief to his beleaguered consciousness. Thinking about anything in particular was practically the last thing he wanted to do.

All Shinji Ikari really wanted to do was to disappear and never be seen again. To free everyone from the burden he had become in their lives. To die and put an end to all his suffering.

"Meal time." The guard looked across at the young boy. He couldn't be entirely positive but it seemed that the soon-to-be former Pilot had not moved much the last few days. He knew without a doubt that the boy hadn't eaten anything as the meals remained untouched each time he came to replace them. <You'd think they'd at least let him shower or something. It's starting to smell rotten in here.> The ventilation system and air purification system dealt with most of the problem but it couldn't completely remove the underlying odour that permeated the air within the cell. The distinct, coppery smell of blood interlaced with stale sweat. <Perhaps I should contact Doctor Akagi, she may need to check his condition.> With that thought in mind, he exited the cell.

While it was well known that the Commander and his son were estranged as far as most family units went, he didn't want to be held responsible for the boy's possible death while held in custody.

The change from darkness to fluorescent luminescence and then back again didn't even register with Shinji as his mind continued to spiral ever inwards, going deeper and deeper in the vain hope of protecting what little remained of his sanity.

***

Katsuragi / Ikari / Sohryu / Ayanami Residence

Misato dragged her sorry self out of bed and began the arduous trek to the kitchen to kick-start the day with her all-too familiar and long-time morning companion. Her morning ritual provided the ideal escape from a painful reality caused by Shinji's absence and a broken arm. It also made lying to herself just that little bit easier and just a little bit more bearable.

Three days had passed since the battle with Unit 03, the Thirteenth Angel, and if those three days were a sign of things to come, Misato knew that she would need to consider buying a majority ownership in Yebisu's parent company to help get her through the remaining years of her life.

Stepping out of her bedroom into the hallway, Misato was greeted by the sight of Asuka in the process of removing the plaque on Shinji's door. In one of her more mischievous moods during better times she had added Rei's name in permanent ink, making it look like a married couple inhabited the small room. "What do you think you're doing Asuka?" She asked.

Startled, Asuka jumped slightly and spun around to face Misato, the plaque now in her hands. "What does it look like? I'm getting rid of this stupid thing once and for all." Having recovered from her initial surprise, Asuka waved the plaque nonchalantly.

Misato's eyes followed the movement of the plaque. "But that's Shinj-"

Asuka stopped waving the plaque and instead dropped it to the floor, stamping on it with her foot. "Baka Shinji's not coming back." She spat viciously. "You were the one that told us that, remember Misato." Her index finger pointed squarely between Misato's eyes. Eyes that still stared in disbelief at the plaque now resting underneath Asuka's foot. "His own father's sending him away for good. The little coward doesn't have to run away anymore. He can go live somewhere where he'll be safe and sound for the rest of his miserable life and not have to worry about any of this ever again." She muttered contemptuously, using her own regret and irritation to fuel her tirade.

"No." Misato whispered, her good hand trembling and her eyes beginning to water at the imagery associated with the fallen plaque. It signified a loss, an emptiness that twisted like a white-hot hook in the pit of her stomach

Asuka stared disbelievingly at the woman, unable to comprehend what she was hearing. "No? Are you trying to tell me that he's still going to live here?" She demanded incredulously, waving her arms around at the small apartment. "In the city where he's crippled his best friend for life?" Misato flinched at the bitter words. "With a father that made it happen?" Asuka's eyes narrowed and a dark frown appeared on her face. "With a guardian that betrayed his trust?" Asuka knew full well that Misato liked Shinji more than her, more than anyone, perhaps even Kaji and her last remark was intended to inflict as much emotional pain as possible. She had heard the rumours. How everyone treated Misato and Shinji as family, almost like an older sister and younger brother. Some of the more salacious innuendo doing the rounds at both NERV and school mentioned a more intimate, personal relationship. Either way, Asuka simply considered it a sign of weakness. She would stand alone, just like she always had. Experience had taught her that family was only there to weaken and betray you.

Misato's shoulders slumped, weary from the emotional burden that was crushing her. She had no answer to Asuka's stern rebuke, mainly because she believed the words herself. She had betrayed Shinji and this was the result of that betrayal.

Taking Misato's silence as affirmation, Asuka nudged the plaque. "Exactly. The sooner we get rid of this, the sooner we can all move on with life, the sooner we can all forget about Shinji Ikari." Closure was exactly what she sought. The sooner she could forget about Shinji Ikari the sooner the quiet, nagging voice in the back of her mind would be silenced forever.

"Put it back Asuka." Misato whispered. She hugged her shoulder with her good arm to stem the trembling she could feel in her muscles as they spasmed.

"What? Weren't you listeni-"

"Put It Back!" Misato snarled, enunciating every syllable, her face twisting in rage. "I won't tell you again."

"Fine, let's turn the stupid, bloody room into a damned shrine. People can come from far and wide and pay homage to the Invincible Shinji-sama, protector of the weak, slayer of Angels. The best ther-"

**SLAP**

Misato's hand struck the young girl a stinging blow, silencing her tirade.

"Stop it Asuka." The lavender haired woman muttered, her palm aching slightly from the force of the blow. "Just stop it, please."

Clutching a hand to her darkening cheek, Asuka glared at the older woman, desperately wanting her to drop dead. "I hate you." Asuka hissed before storming to her room, slamming the door shut. Sounds of things being thrown around could be heard from within.

The door was thrown open with such force that it flew off it's guide rail and into the wall, clattering loudly as it fell to the floor. Immediately following the destruction, Asuka appeared with a carry bag slung over her shoulder, her normally radiant features marred by a murderous scowl.

"Oh Kami, I'm sorry Asu-"

Asuka swept past Misato without sparing the woman a glance. "I'm staying over at Hikari's." She declared, slipping her shoes on before opening the door to escape the apartment. "If you need to get in touch with me ………. Don't!" The door hissed shut leaving Misato alone with her thoughts.

Falling to her knees, Misato picked up the object that had sparked the conflict and hugged it to her chest. "My family's breaking apart. Everything's going wrong." In stark contrast to her previous outburst of anger, Misato began sobbing softly.

Pen-Pen eyed his sometimes erratic but mostly affable beer provider. He had observed with some measure of curiosity how swiftly the tall human switched between her serious, mischievous and compassionate personas, but he could not recall having witnessed a display of such raw, painful emotion. Waddling over to where she now sat he rested a flipper on her shoulder, trying to share in a problem he couldn't understand or comprehend.

***

Streets of Tokyo-3

"Damn it Hikari, why couldn't you be there when I needed you to?" Asuka continued to walk the streets aimlessly, wondering when or if she should return to her friend's house or simply find a comfortable hotel room and just charge her stay to NERV. "It'd serve the bastards right if I stayed in the best room at that hotel Baka Shinji was in during Miss Japan Contest." The thought of racking up a huge expense account and simply having Commander Ikari foot the bill was starting to look extraordinarily appealing. "I could invite Hikari as well." Asuka sighed, reconsidering the idea. "If she's been visiting the dumb jock she'll be all emotional about things." While she truly did care about Hikari, she absolutely refused to believe that Touji Suzuhara was any good for the naïve young brunette. Hikari was intelligent, witty and altogether too good for a perverted idiot that could barely count past his I.Q.

Asuka's internal musings about the inequities of life were disturbed by the glimpse of blue hair and pale skin in her peripheral vision.

<Wonder Girl?>

Walking around the young Pilot of Unit 00, Asuka came to a stop; standing in the direct path of the sun's late morning light, effectively casting her shadow over the quiet young girl. "Well well well. If it isn't the soon to be jilted 'EX'-girlfriend. What are you doing here Wonder Girl? I thought you'd be at NERV using your body to convince your perverted little boyfriend not to leave."

Rei continued to stare at the unopened book resting on her lap. "Commander Ikari has denied my request to visit Shinji-kun." His refusal had not been overly harsh but Rei knew quite well that Commander Ikari rarely relented after making his decisions known.

With her hands resting comfortably on her hips, Asuka cocked her head slightly to one side. "Oh. The Commander refused his favourite pet. Why didn't you try your charms on the old bastard then?" She asked. "I'm sure you've thought about it before." Asuka flicked her hair back and leaned forward to whisper to Rei. "Or is that why you went after the son? You just got sick and tired of the father?"

Rei's hands gripped the book tightly, the muscles of her forearms rippling from the tension. "I understand your dislike of me Pilot Sohryu. After all, I was the one who rejected your initial offer of friendship and so I can bear you no ill feelings in that regard." Rei rose from the bench and turned to stare directly into the eyes of the Second Children. "But I refuse to listen to you denigrate both Shinji-kun and Commander Ikari." Her eyes narrowed from the anger that was beginning to well up from within at the Second Children's statements. "Commander Ikari has raised me and given my life purpose. I owe him more than I can ever hope to repay." The warm breeze ruffled her already unruly hair, the azure bangs drifting across her pale face but her crimson eyes continued to hold Asuka's azure ones. "And Shinji-kun has given me more than he will ever know. He cares for someone whose very existence is worthless." Having experienced what it was like to have someone place her own thoughts and feelings above their own had affected the pale, young girl immensely. Feelings of warmth, pleasure and desire were now replaced by concern, fear and an almost overwhelming sense of loss with Shinji's absence.

Asuka leaned back slightly at the intensity held behind the surface of Rei's crimson eyes but recovered quickly enough to cover any possible sign of perceived weakness. "Aren't you the talkative one today?" She mocked. "Well I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you. Once a guy gets what he wants he'll just throw you on the garbage heap and move onto the next one that comes along."

"Shinji-kun is no-"

Asuka cut Rei's defence of Shinji short. "All men are like that." She stated bitterly, her own eyes brimming with anger and disgust. "You try and try to get their attention but no matter how pretty or how intelligent you are they always end up looking elsewhere." Asuka stabbed her index finger into Rei's chest. "And your precious 'Shinji-kun' is no different."

During Asuka's outburst, Rei had listened carefully, trying to ascertain the true source of the Second Children's venomous tirade. "Pilot Sohryu, you once asked what it was about Shinji-kun that I found pleasing. I now ask you what is it about him that you despise so much?" Most of Asuka's reactions escaped Rei's understanding. Having lived with both Shinji and Asuka, she had witnessed first hand how deferential Shinji was when dealing with the Pilot of Unit 02. Admittedly he would often avoid confronting Asuka directly, but considering the German girl's aggressive attitude it was no great surprise.

"Because he's a perv-"

It was now Rei's turn to interrupt. "You know as well as I do that Shinji-kun is not perverted, nor does he display behaviour that would qualify him as a pervert." Her studies into the actions and interactions between teenaged people indicated that Shinji was perfectly normal and healthy. She knew without a doubt that he was more than a little interested in her physical form, but he also displayed restraint and respect towards her,curbing his more carnal desires. Rei appreciated his polite intentions but also felt a small amount of regret and confusion that he did not act on his 'improper' impulses.

Asuka's mind struggled momentarily with the words before she regained her senses. "He tried to kiss me in my sleep and he's peeked at me at least once." She felt sure he had done more but she lacked any real, tangible evidence to support her claim.

Rei briefly shook her head, disagreeing with the red heads claims. "Actions that he has explained and apologised for." Rei could recall the conversation where Shinji had explained what had happened. It had surprised her that he hadn't attempted to defend his actions in either instance, instead allowing her to determine her own conclusions. "Interest in the physical form of the opposite sex is only natural at our age Pilot Sohryu. I have often contemplated Shinji's naked body and I do not consider myself a pervert." Her cheeks coloured slightly at the thoughts and images of a naked Shinji.

Backing away in shock and surprise, Asuka starred openly at the blushing First Children. "You've thought about that idiot naked?" In an almost uncontrolled response, Asuka's own cheeks developed a light, rosy hue as her own mind conjured a montage of images of Shinji from her memories.

"You admit that you have never thought of anyone in that capacity?" Rei asked, clearly amazed at the admission. "In all honesty that is what could be considered perverted behaviour."

Asuka crossed her arms and closed her eyes. Her cheeks began burning at the direction the conversation was taking. "So what if I've thought about it?" She huffed, offended by what the words implied.

"Do you consider yourself perverted Pilot Sohryu?" Rei asked.

"Of course not!"Asuka declared, horrified that anyone, even someone as socially inept and ignorant as the First Children, would make such a ludicrous assumption.

Tilting her head slightly to one side, Rei gazed at Asuka in apparent confusion. "Then how can you logically apply the connotation to Shinji-kun?"

"He's a boy; all boys are sick little perverts." Asuka explained, thinking that this simple answer was all that needed to be said.

"Your accusations begin to sound hollow and repetitive Pilot Sohryu." Rei replied. "Surely a college graduate such as yourself can construct a more meaningful argument."

"What do you want to hear from me Wonder Girl? That I know Baka Shinji's not a pervert? Fine. He's not. Okay? Are you satisfied?" Asuka felt her insides knot uncomfortably at the declaration. By admitting that Shinji wasn't a pervert she was effectively admitting she was mistaken in her constant accusations and that perhaps she would have to face the true reasons that drove her to openly declare her hatred of the boy.

"No." Rei replied.

"What else then?" Asuka demanded hotly. Her typically short fused temper was rapidly disappearing.

"I would like to hear your thoughts on why you detest Shinji-kun." Rei knew her motives were slightly more complicated than simply understanding the Second Children. She knew of Shinji's admiration of the fiery girl and hoped to reduce the tension that existed between them. It didn't matter to Rei if Asuka still despised her. As long as she had Shinji, she had no need for anything else, but she knew that Shinji wanted to befriend Asuka, or at least make her less hostile towards him.

"Why bother? It's not like it'll do any good anyway." Asuka's voice lost the edge it had held earlier, now sounding tired and weary. "He's leaving."

Rei knew of the Commander's intention to expel Shinji from NERV and Tokyo-3, she simply could not understand how Commander Ikari could follow through on such a statement. "I believe the phrase is 'Amuse me', is it not?"

Asuka glared at the pale girl for a moment before replying. "You know something Wonder Girl? For a doll, you can be pretty stubborn when you want to be."

"I only desire to understand your actions Pilot Sohryu." Rei answered. Her own stare intensified before she continued. "And for your information, I am not a doll."

Asuka waved her hand dismissively as she walked past the Pilot of Unit 00. "Sure, sure. Whatever you say First Children. Let's get something to eat, I'm starving." Asuka began striding towards a nearby café, intent on filling the aching emptiness she felt inside with warm food.

***

Office of The Supreme Commander of NERV

Entering the Commander's office, Ritsuko compared it to walking into the cavernous lair of a mythical demon lord. Only instead of some fiendish monster from the twisted imaginings of the deranged waiting to devour her body and soul, there, seated at his desk was Gendou Ikari. The man who, for all intents and purposes, already owned her body and soul and was undoubtedly far more malign than any devil could ever be.

"Commander, the recent activation tests using the Dummy System and Simulation Plug indicate an increased incompatibility with Unit 01. At it's present rate of degradation, the MAGI predict Unit 01 will fully reject the signal inside two weeks." Closing the topmost report in her hands, she looked across at the man, hoping to see some hint of a reaction to the latest news. "Ultimately we won't even be able to establish a basic nerve connection." The remainder of the report she held was not particularly promising. The Simulation tests were already showing an activation rejection error using the Dummy Plug System. The MAGI's extrapolation also indicated that utilising Rei instead would only improve things marginally.

"The application of the Dummy System is essential if we intend to succeed." Kouzou's brow furrowed at the implications. "It appears she is reacting to recent events Ikari. Perhaps you should reconsid-"

Gendou interjected, effectively silencing his confidant. "Yui was often tenacious about things Fuyutsuki, but she will not refuse me forever." His head tilted slightly towards Ritsuko before speaking. "Doctor Akagi, you will begin preparations for an activation test with Unit 01."

Ritsuko frowned, wondering if the man had even listened to her. "But the system is becoming unstable." She placed the report on his desk so he could verify her findings for himself.

Pushing the folder towards Kouzou, Gendou kept his gaze focused on Ritsuko. "We will use Rei, Doctor. Have Pilot Sohryu standby in Unit 02 as a precautionary measure."

"Understood Commander." Ritsuko paused. The muted lighting in the office made it almost impossible for her to see Gendou's eyes and gauge his reactions. "There is one other matter that requires your immediate attention." Her fingers tightened their hold on the remaining folder in her hands.

"Proceed." The low monotone hinted at a slight impatience with the blonde scientist. Gendou detested procrastination. If decisive action was necessary, he would do what was required regardless of the cost to himself and to others. He expected similar efficiency from those around him.

Clearing her throat, Ritsuko continued. "It appears the Third Children is slipping into a vegetative state." She placed the documents on his desk, next to the other one. "I suggest we relocate him to an observation unit to try and-"

"Very well Doctor, I shall leave the detainee's recovery in your hands," His voice did not shift beyond it's normal tone an yet it somehow became increasingly malevolent. "but understand this, by the end of the week, irregardless of his physical or mental state, he will be removed from Tokyo-3 and relocated elsewhere. This organisation does not have the time or resources to waste on traitorous invalids."

Inclining her head, Ritsuko turned to leave. "Understood Commander. If you will excuse me, I have an activation test to arrange."

"Doctor." Gendou said, causing the woman to halt. "Ensure that all security protocols are maintained while the Third Children is receiving treatment."

Understanding Gendou's directive meant Shinji would not be allowed to receive visitors during his brief reprieve, Ritsuko nodded her head in reluctant acknowledgement before exiting the office to prepare for the unscheduled activation test.

Kouzou grimaced at his former pupil's final parting comment before turning to gaze out the large tinted windows. "Man is often forced to make decisions knowing full well that he will eventually regret them one day."

Opening the report, Gendou stared at the images taken from the security footage. "Instrumentality will free us from the shackles of regret and sorrow."

***

A Little Tokyo-3 Cafe

Asuka grinned as the perky young waitress delivered the hamburger she had specifically ordered be cooked rare. Very, very rare. "Not hungry Wonder Girl?" She asked sweetly, hoping the albino would find the sight and smell of the undercooked meat nauseating enough to leave her alone.

Rei glanced momentarily at the very nearly still bleeding food, suppressing her initial distaste and revulsion. While she consciously chose to refrain from eating meat and meat by-products, she did not begrudge those that indulged their carnivorous instincts. "Not at the moment Pilot Sohryu. I will eat once I return to the apartment." With Shinji still detained, it meant she would be preparing her own meals as she had politely refused Misato's offer to cook. Her experiences with the lavender haired woman's more interesting culinary creations were things she did not relish the thought of repeating ever again, even if her own skills in the kitchen were lacking.

Asuka shrugged her shoulders. It was no concern of hers when and what the albino ate. "Your loss. So what should we talk about?" She didn't really feel like 'amusing' the First Children but was at a loss until she decided what to do about a place to stay for the night.

Rei quickly considered how best to approach the situation. She knew it was futile to try and press the Second Children for information that the easily angered girl would be unwilling to divulge or would simply not accept on a conscious level. "That is entirely up to you. I only seek to understand."

Asuka took another bite of her hamburger, chewing slowly while she stared out the window at the passers-by. "You just don't get it do you?" She said after swallowing. Her gaze shifted back towards the blue haired girl "Sometimes there are no simple answers. Sometimes people just hate because they want to. Because it's all they have."

"You do not believe that though, do you Pilot Sohryu?" Rei asked, carefully observing the mannerisms of the redhead as she spoke. "You strive for independence thinking that if you rely on those around you, they will weaken and betray you." Rei decided to play her trump card and push the Second Children off balance and out of her comfort zone. "Much as your parents did." Rei braced herself for the possibility of a physical assault. The Second Children's psychological profile suggested that it was an extremely likely possibility.

"What do you know about that? Did Misato tell you?" Asuka's eyes flashed with more than just her normal intensity. Her relationship with her family was her business. No one else's, especially not the girl sitting opposite her right now.

Rei felt somehow relieved that their discussion had not degenerated into something either girl would end up regretting. "I have read your file Pilot Sohryu. Your past, while tragic, should not control your present or determine your future."

Asuka pushed her half eaten meal aside and leaned across the table. "My past is my business First Children and I suggest you keep your nose out of my present and future," Asuka's voice dropped to a low whisper as her eyes burned dangerously, "if you know what's good for you."

With a composure that could make a statue seem impulsive, Rei patiently waited until Asuka was sufficiently calmed down enough before continuing. "You misunderstand me Pilot Sohryu. I do not seek to antagonise you. I simply believe that it is central to the problem at hand."

"Oh. And what problem would that be, pray tell?" Resting an elbow on the table, Asuka casually propped her jaw with one hand while the other began tapping a repetitive staccato on the table surface.

"Even now you refuse to accept that it alters your judgement. Your actions, your words are all tainted by the memories you refuse to release." Rei's discomfort began growing as the conversation continued. The lack of progress being made was annoying and although she felt ill equipped to convince the stubborn Pilot of Unit 02 of the problems that were effectively controlling her life; she was determined to lift the veil that coloured her perception. "Until you face this you will make no progress. You will continue to despise and fear everyone who would only seek to help you."

"Help me!" Asuka burst into raucous laughter that drew surprised stares from both the employees and patrons of the upmarket establishment. "I don't need any help Wonder Girl. Not from anyone, especially not from a freak like you."

"You are mistaken." Rei corrected. "I do not seek to help you Pilot Sohryu. It is Shinji-kun that I desire to help."

"Why? Why would you bother?" Asuka disliked being confused. It implied a lack of understanding or intelligence, something she knew she had in abundance. Yet all of her dealings with the First Children left her feeling as if she was speaking with someone who knew all the answers to all the questions before she had even voiced them.

"Shinji respects you and considers you a friend Pilot Sohryu." Rei explained. "You are important to him and Shinji is important to me. Therefore I have decided to repair the rift that exists between you."

"What are you talking about?" Asuka asked. The uncomfortable presence in the pit of her stomach that she had been doing her best to ignore suddenly intensified.

"Shinji cares for you Pilot Sohryu. He has told me so himself. And I ……. I care for him." Rei felt her chest constrict. She recognised that her feelings for Shinji were growing rapidly and it frightened her. In a short amount of time he had come to mean more to her than he probably realised. "I do not wish to see him suffer."

Beneath the table, obscured from view, Asuka's hand balled into a tight fist. The aching sensation was almost unbearable now. "And look where it got the two of you. Do you know he threatened to detonate Unit 01?"

Rei nodded her head, confirming she knew of Shinji's actions that had resulted in his incarceration. "Yes, I have read the report."

Leaning back in her chair, Asuka sipped her juice and studied the girl sitting opposite her. "What do you think would have happened to us if he had?"

"We would have perished in the resulting explosion." Rei admitted uneasily.

Asuka stared at the girl's straightforward answer. "And you still claim he gives a damn about anyone?" Asuka struggled to comprehend how the First Children could accept it so calmly.

"His actions were, in part, caused by the injuries suffered by one of his closest friends, injuries he blames himself for." Rei felt the stirrings of guilt. She could not blame Shinji or Commander Ikari for what had happened. The Angel had to be defeated at all costs and Shinji had to survive. Her doppelganger serving as the core inside the Dummy System was acting with her mindset, her mental structure. If anyone was at fault, she knew without a doubt she had no one but herself to blame

"Exactly Wonder Girl." Asuka agreed. "Friends, family? They only serve to weaken you. I learned that if I wanted to get anywhere in life I'd have to do it on my own."

"Even if it means you must deny yourself the friendship and companionship of others." Rei asked. Her own experiences, while limited, had illustrated just how hollow her world had previously been.

"I don't understand you Wonder Girl." Asuka replied, stirring the ice of her drink.

"That is acceptable Pilot Sohryu. I do not understand you either." Rei conceded.

"And I still don't like you, you know?" Asuka added, almost as an afterthought.

"Understood. I am not fond of you either." Rei felt a sense of relief and accomplishment. Perhaps it was true that she would never be on friendly terms with Asuka but they at least had reached an understanding of sorts through their mutual dislike for each other.

Asuka glanced at her half eaten meal and wrinkled her nose. "Gott in Himmel, I could go for some of Baka Shinji's cooking right now." Asuka smiled at the subtle hidden meaning contained in the obscure confession.

Rei smiled briefly, interpreting the true intent of Asuka's last statement. "As could I Pilot Sohryu."

As the two young girls sat there contemplating what should be said next, both of their cell phones began ringing. Checking the small display revealed that their mutual presence was required at NERV.

"Well, time to go to work and earn the money they don't pay us." Asuka gathered her things and moved to pay for her half eaten meal.

Walking beside her, Rei considered the statement uttered by the Second Children. "I do not understand the reference Pilot Sohryu."

Asuka chuckled and slowly shook her head. "I didn't expect you to." Once the young woman behind the counter handed back her NERV identity card, Asuka walked towards the exit, glancing over her shoulder at her quiet companion. "Let's get moving, there should be a security goon waiting nearby to take us to NERV." The constant observation provided by NERV's own Security and Intelligence division was not just to protect the lives of the Pilot's. It also served to have the Children ready for transport to headquarters as quickly as possible.

The ride back to headquarters was a silent affair providing ample opportunity for Asuka to think about the truth that she had withheld from the blue haired First Children. <Why do I hate him so much?> Her eyes looked out at the scenery, not really seeing any of it. <Because every time I look at him I see everything I hate about myself.>

***

Terminal Dogma

Ryouji Kaji looked out across the golden lake at the large, crucified torso. He knew the sigil of seven eyes on the mask that covered the creature's face all to well. As a spy for the Committee known as SEELE he had access to a vast array of information. This however, was contained nowhere in any of the information he had managed to secure from SEELE, NERV and the JSSDF.

"Adam?" His gaze moved from the hidden face to the disturbing site of the angel's lower body and the continuous stream of orange-yellow fluid that drained into the huge lake. He couldn't see any resemblance between this being and the embryo he had delivered to Commander Ikari. "How did they manage to control its growth and regeneration?" His eyes lifted to the large double-pronged spear embedded in the pale chest. "Is that the chain that binds you?" He asked the immobile creature.

Walking over to the lake edge, he dropped to his haunches and looked at his reflection in the golden surface. "I wonder how the Children would react if they knew that the Link Connected Liquid they breathe in when they Pilot was actually Angel Blood." His casual smile changed to a dark frown and his eyes lifted to once again consider the white Angel fixed to the large Red Cross. "Something doesn't feel right. This place, the lake and the cross, it all feels ……….. ancient." Ryouji dropped his cigarette and ground it out under the heel of his shoe before kicking it into the LCL. "Perhaps there's more to this than meets the eye." Pulling a creased and folded piece of paper out of his jacket pocket, Ryouji glanced over the words scribbled over it. "Dummy Plug System. First Children. Why is Ikari so damned protective of her? What relevance does she play in all this?"

With a final glance at the ominous cavern and it's single captive, Ryouji shoved his hands into his pockets and strolled casually out the way he had come completely unaware that his every movement was under observation.

***

End Fourteenth Refrain

Tbc

Proof Read and Pre-Read by SuPeRnOvA145. He admits he went easy on me for this chapter, but any mistakes are still mine. (The biggest one being my attempt at writing) Once he clears his hectic Mid-Terms (Ahh, college life during exams) he'll undoubtedly return to his lost cause of trying to improve my literary skills.

Authors Post-Rant -

Normally I don't like writing angst, probably because I'm lacking in any redeeming literary qualities. Don't worry; the romance component of the story will gradually begin to reappear (I hope) but not just yet. I may have mentioned it before but I'm a sucker for that sort of thing, even if my sense of humour is slightly skewed.

I realise it's been a while between updates (I'm presently in a writing slump so this trend will unfortunately continue) and I had given serious consideration to just leaving Fanfiction writing altogether (Ignores the applause).

I would have lasted around eight months writing EVA Fanfiction. Not all that impressive (A bit like my writing actually). It was actually a recent 'friendly' discussion with my Ex about my fear of commitment that convinced me to persevere with this.

Shameless advertising -

EVAMADE.COM. The rising force in Evangelion Fanfiction, discussion etc.

http://www.evamade.com/

All Shinji / Rei fans should also head over to Ayanami-chan's Site - Tales of Apartment 402

http://webstudent.ugm.ac.id/~ayanami-chan/index.php

As always, post your reviews here at FFN (Or where ever you find this).

Any other comments, thoughts etc are welcome at -

otaku_dman@yahoo.com.au.

Ja Ne