Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ Angels of Armageddon ❯ Chapter 3: "Calm Before the Storm" ( Chapter 3 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

DISCLAIMER: The characters, universe, etc. of Neon Genesis Evangelion
are not mine. I make no claim to them. They are used without
permission.

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" " = speech
^ ^ = thoughts
_ _ = italics (emphasis)

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Angels of Armageddon
Author: Ryan Xavier
Chapter 3: Calm Before the Storm


Ritsuko Akagi walked quickly, heading out towards the site where, even
now, she could see Unit-00. The sun glinted off of the blue armor,
making its monstrous form almost blinding. The machine was frozen in a
crouching position just outside of the camp, awaiting their arrival.

Behind her, the two former pilots, Shinji and Asuka, were trying to put
some semblance of order back into the encampment. The appearance of
the Eva had, understandably, caused most of them to panic. Now it
needed to be explained that the machine out there was, in fact, on
their side.

Ritsuko was sure that those two could handle the problem. Shinji and
Asuka had proven to be very effective leaders, even if they themselves
didn't believe it. Asuka had always been good at getting people to pay
attention to her, and Shinji...well, he _was_ related to Gendo Ikari.

Akagi's stride retained the confidence she'd had back before Third
Impact. That hadn't been the case back when she'd first returned, but
with time, her old self-assuredness had finally come back. Of course,
she hadn't been able to do it alone...

"So what do you think, Maya?" she asked the woman walking next to her.

"It's hard to believe, all right...but it looks like they did it, one
way or another."

"Yes..."

"Something wrong, Ritsu-chan?" she asked, using her preferred nickname
for her old teacher.

Ritsuko shook her head. "No, it's nothing. Let's just get there."

Maya looked at her suspiciously, but then mentally shrugged and sped
up, moving towards the Eva.

Ritsuko tried to keep her thoughts on technical matters, like how
Nagisa and Ayanami had been able to find materials to make an _Eva_ of
all things. But her mind kept wandering over to what was still
disturbing her.

Rei. The girl had come back. Akagi hadn't seen the girl with her own
eyes yet, but Maya had, and she said that it was definitely Rei.

^Why?^ Akagi thought, looking at her feet. ^Why'd you come back, Rei?
_How_ did you come back?^

The girl's face appeared in Ritsuko's mind. She shook her head, trying
to clear it. But all that accomplished was giving her another image.

The image of dozens of Reis falling apart.

Akagi stopped, slamming her eyes shut as she tried to collect herself.
She balled her hands into fists and shook with the effort of clearing
her mind again.

"Ritsuko?" Maya asked, coming up and lightly touching Akagi on the arm.

Ritsuko opened her eyes and forced herself to smile. "It's okay," she
said, starting back towards the Eva. Maya stayed put.

"You don't have to see her if you don't want," Maya said from behind
her. "I could go meet them, you know. You taught me enough about Evas
that I could see how they did it."

Ritsuko stopped again and looked over her shoulder, at Maya. She
smiled again, this time more genuinely. So Maya knew what was wrong.
It figured.

"No, I'll do it," Ritsuko said. "Otherwise I'll just be avoiding her
all the time. I should just get it over with now."

^Wish I had a cigarette, though...it might calm me down a
_little_...hell, even a cup of coffee might do it.^

Maya nodded and came back alongside Ritsuko. They walked the rest of
the way without speaking, the only sound coming from the crunch of dirt
and rocks under their shoes.

"I'll be here if you need me," Maya said, quietly.

Ritsuko glanced in Maya's direction. The younger woman looked calm,
but worry was etched in her face around her eyes and mouth.

Ritsuko wanted to say, 'Thanks, but I'll be fine,' or some other such
thing, but instead found herself saying, "Thanks...I might need it."

Maya didn't get a chance to respond, for at that moment they had
stopped at the foot of the Eva.

Kaoru sat on its shoulder, staring off towards the camp, seemingly
oblivious to their presence. His legs dangled over the edge of the
shoulder, swinging in the air like a small child's.

"Impressive, eh?" he asked, offhandedly.

"Yes it is, Nagisa-san," Maya said. "Could you come down, now? We
need to talk to you."

"Of course." With that, the Eva's hand came up to lower him down.

"What would you like to talk about?" came another voice, this one from
ground level.

Akagi and Maya both turned to see the new arrival. Akagi had
recognized the voice instantly, but it still made her stomach lurch to
see Rei Ayanami face-to-face again.

Even though Akagi knew the girl had just returned yesterday, Rei
_looked_ as though she'd aged two years. It was disturbing, to see how
much Rei had physically changed, especially when the last memory Akagi
had of her was when the girl had been 15. She looked so different from
what Akagi remembered...

Rei clones floating in the tank.

...but at the same time, she also even more closely resembled someone
else Akagi remembered. Only through extreme self-control was Akagi
able to keep from shuddering openly.

"Hello, Dr. Akagi," Rei said, her eyes studying Ritsuko's face
intently. Ritsuko flinched, despite her efforts to prevent that
reaction.

^I pushed the button. I watched them disintegrate. And...damn me, I
_liked_ it.^

"Welcome back, Rei," Akagi said, nodding stiffly.

^Which of them did I want to kill more, anyway?^ she asked herself.
^The girl made to replace someone long dead, or the man who did it?^

Rei studied Akagi's face. Her gaze seemed to bore straight into
Ritsuko's soul, seeing everything Akagi was trying so very hard to
hide.

Life had just gotten _much_ harder for the former NERV scientist.

* * *

Against her better judgement, Maya left Ritsuko alone with Rei. She
could tell just by looking that Ritsuko was quite shaken. But Nagisa
was stepping off of of Eva-00's hand, and he might only complicate
matters for Ritsuko.

As Maya got a better look at him, she could see Nagisa had aged the
appropriate amount, now looking like he was in his late teens.

"Alright," Nagisa said, clapping his hands together to try and break
the uncomfortable silence. "What did you want to know, Akagi-san?"

Maya tried to answer for him, since she could still see Ritsuko was
trying to get a grip on herself, seeing Rei again. But Ritsuko, glad
for the interruption, turned at the boy's voice.

"Well..." Akagi said, quickly glancing over the mecha. "It seems the
Eva's functional, and in good repair. Where did you get materials for
this?"

"We stimulated one of the Mass-Production Evas, of course," Kaoru
explained, as though it were something he did every day.

"But how? I know the designs of those things." She started walking a
large loop around the machine. "After they hit their maximum S2 output
during Third Impact, they should have been rendered completely
useless."

^That's right,^ Ritsuko chided herself. ^Get lost in work so you don't
have to think about your life. Why don't you just go find some more
cats?^

"Well...I believe Rei can explain this better," Kaoru said. "I can
handle its body, but she was the one who really brought the Eva back."

Ritsuko froze. She glanced over at Kaoru, then slowly shifted her gaze
back around to Rei. The girl looked back, meeting her gaze
dispassionately.

Ritsuko thought it over. Here was a chance to get past what she'd just
been yelling at herself for. But, it was so hard looking at Rei,
now...

"Really?" Ritsuko asked. "Care..." - she swallowed and took a breath -
"...care to explain how, Rei?" There, she'd said it.

The girl nodded. Ritsuko gestured for Rei to follow, as she kept going
in a slow circle around the Eva, looking up to try and take in the
sight of the massive machine. Rei followed obediently. After a few
tense moments, the soft sound of their voices could be heard, as Rei
explained what she'd done.

Kaoru walked over to Maya and stood next to her, keeping his hands in
his pockets and grinning slightly. Out of the corner of his eye, he
could see how Maya's eyebrows were raised in worry over her old
teacher.

"So how long ago did you come back, Ibuki-san?" Kaoru started abruptly,
trying to get the woman's attention onto something else.

Maya looked back to Kaoru, pausing before responding. "About a year.
Semp...excuse me...Ritsuko-san really only came back a few months ago.
We were starting to wonder if she ever would."

"Hm," Kaoru said, looking up at the Eva at the same time as Maya. "So
do you have anything you'd like to ask?" he inquired.

Maya smiled. "Well...Ritsuko-san's going to be taking care of the
technical details, I'm sure. But, honestly...what can you _do_ with
it, anyway?"

Kaoru's smile turned into a frown. "Well...I had intended to use its
AT field as a tool to help shape some of these larger pieces of debris
into something useful. But it seems I don't have the control I used to
have. I can't even take advantage of its full physical strength. But,
I'm able to put it through coarse movements, like walking and moving
its limbs."

"I guess it's better than nothing..." Maya mumbled, making a mental
note about what Unit-00 could be used for.

"You don't sound convinced."

"Well...you make it sound as though it's really restricted."

"It is."

"But...then, why use it? Not everyone's willing to accept an Eva. If
there's so much in the way, we could be better off just working with
what we already had."

Kaoru smiled again. "Maybe a demonstration's in order. Rei and I were
going to use it for this, anyway..."

"What...?" Maya asked, turning to look at him. She turned back to the
Eva, however, when she heard it begin to move.

Maya took several steps backwards as the Eva came to life. The sound
of powerful machinery starting up sounded from within its torso, as the
mecha raised its head, then stood to its full height. It turned and
began to walk. The shockwave from its first footstep almost made Maya
and Ritsuko lose their balance, but they caught themselves before they
could fall.

Kaoru watched, reveling in the rush that came with synchronizing with
an Eva. It wasn't nearly as strong as it had been when he'd done this
with Unit-02, but it was better than nothing.

Maya and Rei both watched with mildly intrigued looks on their faces,
watching every move the Eva made to try and ascertain its abilities.

Akagi, however, was taking a few steps backwards, almost unable to
control her body anymore. Eva-00 was almost as bad as Rei when it came
to reminding her of things she wanted to forget. Watching that thing
move, apparently without a pilot, was almost like watching it go
berserk in slow motion. She hated to admit it to herself, but she was
waiting for it to turn around and start killing them all.

The Eva approached a nearby rock. Maya recognized that it had once
been a part of a large building's foundation. But that building had
been levelled some time after Second Impact. And Third Impact's
explosion had turned the very earth inside-out in a few places, digging
up this long-forgotten chunk of rock.

The slab was easily the size of a small parking lot, made of solid,
super-compressed concrete. The Eva got a grip on it, however, and
lifted, moving it almost instantly.

The Eva shuddered under the effort, but still successfully dragged the
slab over to another upheaved portion of a foundation and deposited it
there, making a huge arch. It immediately began moving again, heading
off and beginning to move various chunks of debris over to one side of
the arch.

"I suppose it will have to do for now," Kaoru said, watching. He
glanced over at Rei, as the Eva kept working.

"What do you think of our new home?" he asked the blue-haired girl.
Rei looked at him, a questioning look on her face, before looking back
to the Eva and nodding.

"So what's in control, really?" Maya asked. "It still has the Dummy
plug inside, right?"

Kaoru nodded. "Yes, but it's dormant, right now. I'm controlling the
Eva directly."

"I see," Maya replied.

After a few minutes, the Eva was finished. Totaled, the new shelter
looked much like the other ones back at the camp, but about ten times
larger.

"Impressive," Ritsuko said, coming up to Kaoru. "But you know we're
probably going to have to put some restrictions on you. People aren't
going to want an Eva walking around near their homes." At this, she
glanced at the footprints the Eva left. Each print could swallow a
good-sized car. ^I'm sure people would just _love_ to have a bunch of
those all over the place,^ she thought, sarcastically.

Kaoru shrugged. "I'm sure we can work something out later," he said, a
hint of exasperation in his voice. "But what else do you want to know,
Akagi-san?"

* * *

Days passed slowly for Kaoru and Rei. Every morning, Maya and Ritsuko
would come to further study the Eva. And every evening, the two women
would would head back, slightly more well-informed about the machine.
Usually they'd bring Kaoru and Rei back with them to get some dinner.

In between, the two children were obliged to help Maya and Ritsuko
learn all they could about how the reactivated machine worked. It was
often tedious, and occasionally very tiring work. But they were
learning things; for instance, the two women had found that although
Kaoru was the one who could control the Eva directly, Rei was the only
one who could access the Dummy plug's control systems.

One morning, Rei woke up at her usual early time, sitting up and
blinking as she looked around. She was inside the shelter the Eva had
set up some time ago. Since the sun was only just beginning to rise,
the place was still full of shadows. But as opposed to the other, tiny
shelters, this one was anything but claustrophobic. Rei had been
unable to believe how much space was in here, when she'd first walked
in. What were they supposed to _do_ with this much room, anyway?

She got up and brushed herself off. She walked over to a corner, where
a pile of spare clothes was lying. She changed quietly, thinking about
how they'd risked personal injury, going into decaying old houses just
so they could have spare garments. But there had been no choice; there
wasn't any other place to get them. The other people back at the main
camp did the same thing.

When she was done, she walked outside, the muddy ground making
squelching noises under her feet. It had apparently rained last night.
But their home had done the job; she was still dry.

She looked back into the enormous rock construction that was now her
home. It definitely left a lot of things to be desired, but it was
better than nothing. Maybe after they had a better grip on how to work
the Eva, they could build something better.

Rei thought about this as she walked around towards the Eva. ^But why
should I want anything better?^ she wondered. ^I've always just worked
with what I've been given.^ She pondered this as she came to the Eva's
foot. She looked up at the copy of the mecha she'd spent so much time
in. The mecha that had once tried to kill her...

But her thoughts were interrupted as she heard a splash of water.
Interested, she walked around behind the shelter, where the noise had
come from. There, she found Kaoru. The boy was naked and wet, having
just splashed himself with a considerable amount of water. Rei watched
as he began rubbing at his body with his bare hands, trying to rub off
some of the grit that had collected there over the days.

"It's a good idea to stay clean," Kaoru explained, not looking up.
"And with the rain, there was some extra water."

"I see," Rei said. "Maybe I'll clean myself later."

"Whatever you want. I set out a few buckets to catch the rain last
night. There should be enough for both of us."

Rei nodded, then looked back towards the camp. Maya and Ritsuko were
nowhere to be seen, just yet. She turned away from Kaoru and leaned
against the stony wall of the shelter.

"What do you suppose they have planned?" Rei asked.

"Who? Akagi-san and Ibuki-san?"

"Yes, I suppose. Or anyone who is in charge."

"I don't know," Kaoru replied. "Why do you ask?"

"...I have lived with Eva all my life," Rei explained. "And apparently
I cannot avoid it, even after Third Impact. But there was always a
reason for me to be involved. Someone always had a use for me."

"Did it occur to you that maybe they're just interested in how to get
the most use out of this machine?" Kaoru asked, as he splashed himself
again.

Rei shrugged. "I suppose...I'm just used to being a tool."

Kaoru laughed lightly. "Well, you should snap out of that mentality,"
he said. "We aren't around to fight Angels anymore, or start another
Impact. We're just trying to start over."

"...yes."

"You're just not used to living on your own, Rei," Kaoru continued,
drying himself off. "You might look like a real loner, but...you're
used to having someone tell you what to do, aren't you?"

Rei didn't respond. She just started walking towards the Eva. "Ibuki-
san and Akagi-san will be here soon," she said, even though she didn't
check the camp again. In truth, the two women were still nowhere to be
seen. It was just too early for them.

Kaoru laughed again. ^You've got a lot of adjusting to do, don't you?^
he mentally asked the girl.

Rei got to the Eva and sat down on the Eva's foot, looking back at the
camp and waiting for Maya and Ritsuko to make their appearance. She
hoped they could get started early today. She didn't like thinking
about all the changes she'd have to make to her life.

^I need to take full control of my life...for the first time. I
suppose I could learn to do that. But I'm...what's this feeling?
I'm...afraid of being on my own.^

^Interesting. I know people avoid me, and I in fact prefer that they
do. Yet at the same time I'm afraid of being cut off from all human
contact. This doesn't make any sense.^

Rei thought about this for a while. Hadn't Akagi once said that
conflicts were what created human intelligence? That principle had
been embodied in the MAGI, definitely. Rei knew what it was like to
have conflicts. Indeed, she'd had thoughts like the ones she was
having now many times before. But before now, there had always been
some overriding purpose, something that necessitated pushing everything
else aside, including her own emotions and cares.

^But living independently produces nothing _but_ conflicts,^ she
thought. ^I wonder how Ikari handles it.^

She blinked at this thought, then shook her head vigorously. ^No, if
I'm to live on my own, I need to figure out my own solutions.^

The other reason she didn't want to think about how Shinji handled it
was that the thought of him brought up a host of new emotions she was
only just getting to know. Even now, these emotions were flooding her
consciousness. Rei could identify some of them: happiness, envy,
despair, loneliness...all because of _one_ person?

She didn't want to think about it. She was afraid to think about it.
So, with no small effort, she shoved the thoughts and emotions into a
small corner of her mind, clearing her consciousness like she had done
a thousand times before. Her face, previously showing a mix of
expressions, smoothed and went back to the old deadpan look.

^I wish Akagi and Ibuki would get here, soon.^

Then she wouldn't have to think. She could just act, living like she
had before Third Impact. It was only a temporary fix, but it was all
she had right now.

* * *

Later that day, Asuka was watching as the blue shape of Eva-00 got up
and began moving around, as Maya and Ritsuko told Kaoru and Rei what to
do. The shocks from its footsteps could be felt even this far, though
they were more like gentle vibrations than the small earthquakes Asuka
knew they would be once you got up close.

She shook her head, still unable to believe that an Eva had
returned. She thought she'd left those things behind...

But in spite of her reservations about the machine, it would definitely
be useful. There was no way they'd have _ever_ been able to move that
concrete foundation before. And yet Unit-00 was doing it so easily...

"Hey, there," came a familiar voice, as a girl sat down next to Asuka
on the hill she was taking a break on.

Asuka turned to look at the new arrival. "Hi there, Hikari," she said,
the worry seeping into her voice.

"What's wrong?" the other girl asked, hearing that tone.

"It's just...well...you know, watching it like this. The last time I
was in an Eva...I almost died." She rubbed at her right arm as she
said this, looking back to the Eva. Running up length of her arm on
top was a jagged scar, mirrored by a similar streak on the underside.

"Well..." Hikari said, trying to figure out what to say. "You don't
have to do it anymore. It's out of your hands, you kn-"

"And Ayanami's there, too..." Asuka said, speaking as though she hadn't
even heard Hikari. She then fell silent, gritting her teeth a little.

Hikari blinked at being cut off, then sighed. "Still bitter?"

Asuka leaned back onto the hillside and looked up into the sky,
crossing her hands over her stomach. "I dunno," she said,
noncommitally.

Hikari mimicked Asuka's position, groaning a little as she stretched
out. "Really," she said. "You can tell me."

Asuka shut her eyes and took a deep breath to calm herself. "I guess
it's been long enough that I could forgive her..."

"But?" Hikari asked, trying to guess what Asuka wanted to say.

Asuka fell silent. She clenched a fist so hard her knuckles cracked.

"Shinji asked me that, if she ever came back, could I at least _try_
and make her feel welcome. Well, it was easy enough saying hi, I
guess. But now she really _is_ back in our lives, isn't she?"

"Asuka..." Hikari said. She reached over and touched Asuka's fist.
"Look, you told me all about this. I know you feel like she was
against you, but - "

"The doll saved me," Asuka said to the sky, nodding a little. She sat
up. "That's what I just can't forget. The damn doll saved _me_. She
didn't like me, or even respect me. But they told her to save me, so
that's what she did."

Hikari's brow furrowed. She knew Asuka was talking about the incident
with the 15th Angel and the mind-rape involved; over time, the story
had slowly come out. But she still didn't know what to say. The
bitterness ran deep, apparently.

"It's like I'm always losing to dolls," Asuka said. "Shinji even got
along better with her than with me."

"But - "

"Just a sec," Asuka said, holding up one hand. "Just listen for a
sec."

"Why...why don't you tell Shinji about this?" Hikari asked, quietly.
"He might be able to help."

Asuka shook her head. "No...I don't want to worry him. He knows I
didn't get along with Rei, and he's got enough stuff on his mind
already. Comes with being the leader, you know," she said, smiling
sadly.

Hikari closed her mouth and just nodded mutely.

"And now she's the one who's in control of the thing that might just
help us get up off the ground. You've been watching that, right?"
Asuka said, gesturing in the Eva's general direction.

Hikari nodded again.

"So now...I don't know. I guess I'm just afraid she'll be one-upping
me again," Asuka said. She shook her head. "I'm more of a baka than
Shinji. I don't have the right to be worrying about that stuff, but I
still am."

"You're right," Hikari said, switching over to "Class Rep" mode and
putting on her best "annoyed" face. "Asuka, what you're talking about
happened years ago. _Years_, okay? Just put it behind you."

Asuka snorted. "It's not that easy."

Hikari now looked genuinely angry. "If Ayanami hadn't helped you,
you'd be dead, okay? _Dead_. And no matter what you say, it's better
to be alive. You might be bitter, but you're right, you _don't_ have
the right to be worried about who's better than who. We're all in the
dust, trying to build something back up before we die."

Asuka turned her head and cocked an eyebrow, amused. "Hit a nerve
somewhere? Or maybe..."

Hikari instantly switched over to looking very embarassed. "Sorry,"
she said. "It's just...well, you know, with the way I am, and all.
I'll try to keep it under control."

"Uh huh," Asuka said, false annoyance on her face. "But actually...you
might have a point. Maybe...oh, what the hell. She's starting her
life over. I could give starting over with her a shot."

Hikari nodded. "Now _that's_ more like it."

"Maybe I'll use her first name...or not. I'll just make it up as I go
along, I guess."

"Fine. Do it your way, but at least give it a chance. I'm sure
Ayanami doesn't care what happened before."

"Wouldn't care if I sawed her leg off..." Asuka muttered. She then
rolled her eyes and tapped herself on the head with her fist. "Gotta
stop that," she said. "Damn, it's gonna be harder than I thought."

"Hm."

They both lay back down on the hillside and went back to looking at the
sky.

"...Thanks, Hikari," Asuka said, finally breaking the silence.
"And...sorry for unloading my problems on you like this."

"What're friends for? But anyway, you're welcome."

"So...how're you doing?"

Hikari shrugged as best she could while lying down. "Not bad. I was
just wondering what you're up to. There's not much for me to do, you
know, the way I am."

Asuka nodded knowingly. "Where'd that baka Kensuke go, anyway? I
thought he was supposed to be helping you."

Hikari smiled. "He's busy with that truck they turned back over
earlier. He's trying to get the battery working again."

Asuka shook his head. "And left you all alone? That idiot knows
better than that."

Hikari laughed. "No, he actually asked me first, and I said it was OK.
So I thought I'd come over to see you. What were you doing? You were
just sitting here, staring off into space, like Ayanami."

Asuka let out a short laugh. "God, I'm not _that_ bad. Sorry I
worried you. I was just...thinking. About the stuff I just told you
about."

"Oh. Uh..." Hikari searched for a way to alleviate some of the
tension. "It'll be nice if he can get the truck working, won't it?"

Asuka nodded. Then her eyes glazed over as she went back to her
thoughts.

"You're doing it again," Hikari chided. "I know you're the leader and
all, Asuka...but stop worrying about Ayanami. Just for a few minutes,
okay?"

Asuka sighed again, before looking back at the Eva. The machine had
finally stopped moving, and gone back to it's former position:
motionless, stuck in a crouching position on the ground. She could
just barely make out the forms of Rei and Kaoru sitting on its
shoulders.

"I wish I could."

"Hi there," Misato said, walking past them. "Taking a break, girls?"
Misato, for her part, was carrying an armload of kindling and other
assorted flammables, to keep a fire going once night fell.

"Hi, Misato," Asuka said. "How're you - "

"Katsuragi-san, can you help me out?" Hikari asked, cutting Asuka off.
The brown-haired girl sat up carefully, meeting Misato's gaze.

Misato's face became worried. "What is it? Do you feel sick?"

Hikari shook her head. "No, no, it's not that. I need you to help
Asuka here with her problems with Ayanami."

"Hikari!" Asuka shouted, sitting up so fast she became dizzy. "You're
not supposed to _tell_ anyone about that!"

Hikari ignored her. "She needs to get some time with Ayanami to, you
know, say hi, and at least _try_ being friendly to her."

Misato's face instantly brightened. "Well, now, _that's_ something
different altogether."

"Hey!" Asuka said, trying to make himself known. "I can get along
fine, you know."

Hikari shook her head. "Asuka, I know you probably could, but let me
speed things up, here. Katsuragi-san, can't you order her or
something?"

Misato laughed. "Not anymore. But sure...uh...hey, we could probably
have a party, you know. That's the perfect place to get to know
people."

Asuka's eyes widened. "A _what_? Misato, Ayanami going to a party is
about as likely as a rock learning to fly."

"Come onnnnn..." Misato said, cajolingly, but at the same time sounding
like a mother trying to convince her child to do the right thing.
"Look, I know Rei is...well, herself...but you can at least give her a
chance."

"I'll just order her to go," Asuka said under her breath. "Then she'd
do it even if both her legs were broken."

"What was that?" Hikari asked.

"Nothing," Asuka said, waving her hand. ^I _will_ give Ayanami a
chance, I _will_ give Ayanami a chance...^ she kept mentally repeating
that phrase, hoping she could convince herself of it.

"If anything, it'll give the people a chance to unwind," Misato said,
trying to justify herself. "Dunno if you've noticed, but everyone's
kind of tense, watching Unit-00 out there."

"Really?" Asuka asked, looking out at the Eva. "I never really
looked..."

"Well, they are," Misato said. "Believe me, I've noticed."

"Gotta learn that human-relations stuff," Asuka muttered to herself.
She raised her voice and looked back to Misato. "Oh, what the hell.
Go ahead, Misato. But you set it up."

"No prob," Misato said, flashing a "V" with her fingers. "Come on,
Hikari. You can probably help me out, if you feel up to it."

"Of course I do," Hikari said, putting her hands on her hips. "I'm not
_that_ bad, thank you."

Misato smiled and led Hikari off.

Asuka leaned back down on the hillside. ^I guess I'll have to explain
this one to Shinji...might need to convince him to go along with it.
that baka _is_ always worried about how we don't have enough of this
and that.^

She smiled at the thought of what "convincing" would involve. Finally,
she got back to her feet and headed back towards the camp.

* * *

Later that same day, Ritsuko and Maya were standing some distance away
from Unit-00, talking. The sun was setting in the background, slowly
dimming the light around them.

Nagisa was standing not far off. He had his hands in his pockets and
was walking as though he was on top of the world. Rei, on the other
hand, was sitting on the Eva's foot, her legs curled against her body,
obviously waiting for something to happen.

"So what's your final verdict?" Maya whispered to Ritsuko.

"It's interesting how they reactivated a Dummy plug," Ritsuko said,
glancing through some of the notes she'd taken. "And they truly seem
to have the machine under their control, too. I wonder if it's
possible to reactivate the other MP Evas like that..."

"You're not serious, are you, Ritsuko?"

Ritsuko glanced over to see Maya's horrified face. "We need to look
into every possibility, Maya," she explained. "Any advantage we can
find...should be worth it."

Maya just sighed and shook her head. They remained in silence for some
time.

"So...how are you doing, Nagisa-san?" Maya asked the boy, raising her
voice so he could hear. "Have you been adjusting well?"

"Rei and I have only been back for a few days, Ibuki-san," Nagisa
replied. "But we're doing well, thanks."

Maya laughed lightly. "Oh, go ahead and call me Maya," she said. "I
have a feeling me an Ritsuko-san will be spending a lot of time with
you and Ayanami-san."

Kaoru smiled. "Then you may call me Kaoru," he said. "And the same
goes for you, Ritsuko-san," he added, bowing slightly. Maya blushed in
spite of herself. Kaoru, for his part, turned to look at Rei, trying
to figure out what the girl was thinking.

Maya found herself under an appraising stare from Ritsuko. "I know he
was an Angel..." Maya said, trying to explain herself. "But...well,
you know. We're all kind of in the same situation."

"Yes. I understand that much, Maya," Ritsuko said. "Let's get back.
It's getting cold."

"Alright." Maya turned towards Kaoru and Rei. "We're headed back, you
two. Do you want to come along?"

Kaoru and Rei simultaneously glanced over at the setting sun. "I guess
we _should_ get something to eat, eh?" Kaoru asked, remembering that
the last time he'd eaten had been that morning. Usually, Maya and
Ritsuko brought some food with them, knowing that the two children were
still somewhat hesitant to go into the camp. Not to mention most of
the survivors were still scared of Rei.

They started walking. Ritsuko and Maya took the lead, while Kaoru and
Rei followed not far behind.

As they neared the camp, they began hearing noises of ferverent
activity and...celebration?

They came to the fringe of the camp in time to see a large fire had
been lit, with people hanging around it, talking, laughing, and
generally enjoying themselves.

"What the..." Ritsuko began. She figured it out a moment later.
"...figures."

"What is it, Ritsuko-san?" Kaoru asked, squinting to try and see what
was going on ahead of them.

"You'll find out in a minute. I hope you don't mind parties, Nagisa."

"Kaoru, please," the boy corrected. "It sounds interesting. Come on,
Rei. Let's see what this is about."

Rei quietly came forwards, matching stride with Kaoru as he headed into
the camp.

"Think Misato set it up?" Maya asked.

"Who else?" Ritsuko responded. She watched Rei and Kaoru disappear
behind one of the houses. Several voices were raised soon after,
welcoming the children back.

Ritsuko nodded, feeling an almost tangible weight get lifted off of her
shoulders. "Well...I guess we're through studying the Eva. Now we
just have to hope they use it right."

Maya nodded. "Are you okay, Ritsu-chan?" she asked, reverting back to
the more familiar name.

"I guess," Ritsuko said. "It's hard seeing her again, but...yeah, I
could be worse."

"You don't sound like it," Maya said playfully, nudging Ritsuko in the
ribs.

"Well...I know what I did to the other Reis," Ritsuko said. "And I
know she knows. But Rei's so damn _distant_...I don't know what she's
thinking."

"Well...come on, let's see what Misato's got set up. Maybe you can
unwind a little."

Ritsuko nodded, though she didn't believe she was going to get anything
out of this. Re-adjusting to having Rei and the Evas in her life again
was going to take more than a few days. She'd just have to give it
time.

^I can at least do _that_ much,^ she thought.

* * *

On entering the camp, Rei and Kaoru found themselves greeted by the
few people they were anywhere close to being friends with.

"Welcome back!" Misato said, being the first to talk.

"How'd it go?" Asuka asked, stepping towards Rei and Kaoru.

Shinji was there too, but said nothing, preferring not to confuse the
new arrivals.

"It went well, thank you," Kaoru said, his eyes sweeping over them.
"Ritsuko-san has confirmed that the Eva is fully functional. Of
course, Rei and I knew that already."

Rei nodded in response to this, though her eyes wandered over to
Shinji. The boy met her gaze, smiling a moment later. Rei felt her
own lips curl up, seeing him happy like that.

Misato started leading them back into the camp. "Well, come on and
tell us everything," she said. "We all wanna know."

"Yeah, come on!" Asuka said, grabbing Rei and Kaoru's hands and
dragging them along. Rei's smile fell, but she let herself be pulled
in. Shinji followed close behind, still smiling.

They came into the camp, seeing that a party was indeed underway.
Well, what passed for a party on Post-Third-Impact Earth, anyway. A
bonfire had been set up and was burning brightly, lighting up the camp
as the sun set in the distance. People were all standing around the
fire, talking and eating. Most of them seemed to be enjoying
themselves.

"We figured something like this was in order," Misato said.

"You mean _you_ figured something like this was in order," Shinji
muttered to himself.

"Everyone was kind of tense from watching what you did with the Eva,
so we needed to do something," Misato continued, not having heard
Shinji. "Come on, we were sitting over here."

They walked over to a spot not far from the fire, sitting on top of a
thick, toppled concrete slab. It might have once been a wall, but
there was no way to tell. Now, it was just an improvised dais for the
leaders of the survivors.

They all took seats in a semicircle, watching the people relax.
Misato excused herself for a minute to go get something for them to
eat.

"So...what did Akagi-san say?" Shinji asked, looking over at the red-
eyed children sitting across from him. "She said today was probably
the last day of testing."

"It was," Rei began, in her soft, even voice. "We explained to her
that we used one of the Mass-Production Evas for raw materials."

In speaking, she cut off Kaoru, who'd begun to assume he was going to
have to do all the talking. The boy looked slightly surprised by Rei
taking the initiative, but seemed to mentally shake it off. Rei began,
in her soft, even voice.

"MP Evas..." Asuka mumbled to herself. She shuddered at a sudden,
unwelcome memory. Shinji's brow furrowed in worry as he saw this, and
he reached over to take Asuka's hand. The girl looked at him
thankfully, as he squeezed her hand reassuringly.

"So that leaves...what, eight others?" Shinji asked.

Rei nodded silently, the barest hint of sadness appearing around her
eyes. Shinji failed to notice this subtle show of emotion, being too
concerned with keeping Asuka together.

"Eight, yes," Asuka said, not having seen Rei. "And those others
better _stay_ dead, dammit..."

"Don't worry, Soryu," Kaoru said, cocking his head as he looked at the
pair in front of him. "The current Eva was only able to reactivate
with our intervention."

Rei opened her mouth to say something about Akagi suggesting they
bring back the others, but then reconsidered. It wasn't necessary at
the moment, and...saying something like that would just cause Asuka
pain.

^But I want to see her hurt...why? Why should I wish pain on someone
else, and one of the leaders at that? But...watching her with Ikari...^

Misato returned a few minutes later, with a makeshift tray in one hand
and a bottle in the other. Shinji looked at the bottle and narrowed
his eyes. "Really, Misato-san. We need that to help clean cuts."

"Ah, let me have my fun," Misato said, waving him off. She sat down
and handed Kaoru and Rei the tray. The two children quickly dug into
the food that had been on it.

Asuka watched Rei, the German girl visibly becoming more nervous. ^I
promised myself I'd try...but it's _her_. This is gonna be harder than
I guessed...^

Misato, for her part, popped open the bottle of sake. She took a long
glug from it, as Shinji covered his eyes in defeat.

Asuka took note of the bottle and her eyes went wide. "Hey! You
sharing?"

"Ah, sure," Misato said, passing Asuka the bottle. The German girl
immediately took a quick shot of her own. "Aaaaaaaaahhh..." she said,
in a much more toned-down version of Misato's normal yell. She
relaxed as she handed the sake back to Misato.

Kaoru swallowed the roll he'd been eating. "I assume that's something
in short supply?" he asked, watching.

"Uh huh," Shinji replied. He and Rei sighed, simultaneously. Some
things never changed, whether or not there was an apocalypse.

Kaoru's eyes flickered over the other four people sitting in front of
him. He smiled slightly, thinking. Then, he stood up, extending a
hand to Misato.

"Excuse me, Katsuragi-san, but I believe there are many people here
who don't know me. Would you care to show me around?"

Misato raised an eyebrow, but then took his hand and got to her feet.

"I guess, so, sure. Rei, you want to get re-introduced?"

"I suppose I shou - "

"No, Rei, why don't you stay here and finish explaining to these two
what we did with the Eva?" Kaoru asked. His eyes caught Rei's, and
held them. Rei looked at him, confused, but then resumed her sitting
position, crossing her hands in her lap.

Kaoru immediately hopped off of the slab they were sitting on. Misato
began to follow, but stopped as Shinji called out to her.

"Misato-san...leave the sake."

"Shinji! C'mon, it's not like I get to party every night anymore."

"Misato..."

"Ack. Oh, all right." Misato took another sip from the sake, then
left the bottle on the ground, grumbling and turning to go follow
Kaoru.

"So..." Shinji began, looking back to Rei. "What _did_ you two do,
anyway? I didn't think you could do that with one of the Evas."

Rei blinked. "A normal person could not. Yet Kaoru-san and I are
apparently still somewhat related to the Angels."

"Does that bother you?" Shinji asked, trying to look encouraging.

Rei shook her head, once. "It is what I am. Kaoru-san and I chose to
return in this form."

"Alright, this is getting a little dark," Asuka said. "Just a
minute." She got up and picked up the bottle Misato had left behind,
coming back and sitting back down next to Shinji.

^Alright, Asuka,^ she thought to herself. ^Just do it like you always
do. Here goes.^

"So come on, Rei...how's life? What're you and that Nagisa kid going
to do, now?"

Rei blinked several times. That was the first time Asuka had ever
called her by her first name. Not only that, she hadn't said it in a
sarcastic or deragatory way.

Shinji noticed this, too. "No more 'Wonder Girl,' Asuka?"

Asuka glanced at him. "I can't stay mad forever," she said, putting on
her best confident attitude. "And as much as you baka guys would want
to see a bitch fight, we can't go doing that _now_, can we?" she asked,
nudging him with her elbow.

Shinji rolled his eyes and looked back to Rei. "But really,
Ayanami...what do you and Kaoru-kun have planned?"

"I'm not certain," Rei replied, her eyes moving towards the ground.
Asuka took this moment to take a shot from the sake.

"Currently I am just focused on re-adjusting to living," Rei
continued. "We need to get used to the new conditions."

"Yeah," Shinji said. "It's hard, believe me. But hey, if you were
determined enough to come back, you should be determined enough to
keep going afterwards, right?"

Asuka cut off Rei's response by passing Shinji the bottle. "Here,
Shinji-chan, have some of this."

"Asuka...you know we can't go wasting this..."

"Oh, come on, have some fun for once."

"Well..." Shinji trailed off, but he took the bottle anyway. He took
a brief sip from it.

"That's more like it," Asuka said, putting her arm around his
shoulders. She leaned against him and looked over to Rei. "You want
some?" she asked, amicably.

Rei shook her head, crossing her hands in her lap and keeping her face
blank. She got a sick feeling in her stomach, watching those two so
close, but she doing a good job ignoring that sensation.

^It's just another thing I need to deal with,^ Rei thought. ^If I
ignore it, I should be fine.^ She tried very hard to convince herself
that that was true.

They started talking, taking the time to tell each other how their
lives were going. The food Misato had brought slowly disappeared, as
did the sake.

* * *

Misato led Kaoru through the camp, introducing him to a few key
people. She didn't tell anyone about what he'd been before Third
Impact. Right now, he was just a boy trying to start over. What he'd
been before then didn't matter. Yet.

She kept her eye on him as they moved among the people there. Kaoru
didn't bother with things like dancing or drinking, but he talked a
great deal, getting to know the people around him. He'd lost none of
his charm; most of the people he met seemed to like him very much.
The only exceptions were people who had prior knowledge of him.
Shigeru, for instance, went to great lengths to avoid talking to the
boy.

Kaoru was wandering aimlessly when Misato caught a glimpse of a girl
with freckles and brown hair.

"Oh, come over this way," Misato said, grabbing Kaoru's hand and
pulling him towards the girl.

"Who is it now, Katsuragi-san?" he asked, as he matched pace with
Misato to avoid being dragged along the ground.

Misato made it up to her target. "Kaoru Nagisa...meet Hikari Horaki."

"A pleasure," he said, nodding in the girl's direction. His eyes
glanced downwards. "Been busy, I see?" he asked, looking back into
Hikari's face.

Hikari turned a rather impressive red. "Well...you know," she said,
gingerly stroking her stomach, which was just beginning to bulge with
what it carried.

Kaoru smiled. "I'm happy for you," he said. "Now, I believe you're
one of Soryu's friends, correct?"

Hikari nodded. "I - "

"Hey, Misato!" Kensuke Aida said, coming up to them. The boy hadn't
changed much in the years; he was slightly taller, and his hair was
more ordered than it had once been, but he still had the same boyish
face.

"Oh, hi there," Misato said. "Here, I'd like you to meet Kaoru
Nagisa."

After the introductions were over with, Kaoru looked back over to
Hikari. "Now then, where were we? Oh, yes. When are you due?" he
asked the girl.

Hikari blushed again. "Well, remember we don't have much of a way to
tell time. I'm still a long way off, but it still gives me an excuse
to get out of the heavier work."

Misato gave Hikari an annoyed look, while Kensuke laughed. "Hey, you
know," the boy said. "She's just doing her part. We gotta rebuild,
and all."

"And _you_ get to help me out," Hikari interjected. "The first male
nurse-slash-electrician, eh?"

Kensuke laughed again, though it was more subdued this time. He
rubbed the back of his head nervously.

"Of course," Kaoru said. "So, you're the father, I assume?"

Kensuke paled. "If I was, I don't think I'd still be alive. Touji
would break my neck."

Kaoru cocked his head, interested. "Touji?"

"Touji Suzuhara," Kensuke explained. "He...well, you know..." he
said, gesturing to Hikari, who blushed again.

Kaoru nodded. "I see. Well, he's a very lucky man. Where is
Suzuhara-san, anyway?"

Hikari's happy mood quickly dried up. "He's not here right now," she
said. "He volunteered to go explore the area around here, to see if
anyone else has set up something like what we have here. He's been
gone...for a few weeks, now."

Kaoru's brow furrowed at the sadness he heard in Hikari's voice.
"Well, I'm sure he'll come back soon," he said, gingerly taking
Hikari's hand.

"You're taking your life in your hands there, buddy," Kensuke said.

"Shut up," Hikari shot off at the other boy. "Thank you," she said to
Kaoru, her voice much softer. "It's...really nice of you, to say
that."

"You're welcome," Kaoru said, flashing her a smile before letting go
of her hand. He turned to Kensuke. "Aida-san, Rei tells me you're
very interested in the Evas."

"Well...I was. There's not much left for Evas to blow up or smash
anymore, so they just aren't as exciting, you know?"

"Would you like to come look at Unit-00 with me?"

"Hell yes," Kensuke replied, immediately. He then realized his slip
and turned red, as everyone else laughed.

"Well, come on then," Kaoru said, gesturing for the boy to follow.

Kensuke turned towards Hikari. "Are you okay without me?" he asked.

Hikari nodded. "Yeah, I'll just hang onto Misato here," the girl
replied, nudging Misato with her elbow.

"Alright. Well, you know where I'll be," he said, turning towards the
huge blue mecha over by Rei and Kaoru's shelter. He followed the
other boy off into the distance.

"Boys will be boys," Misato said, shaking her head. "So, Hikari...you
know where I can find some booze around here?"

* * *

Some considerable time after Kaoru had left Rei with Shinji and Asuka,
the red-eyed girl was trying not to sigh in exasperation.

The bottle of sake lay empty on the ground. Rei had not drunk any of
it, having previously observed the effect it had on people. Asuka -
and to a lesser extent Shinji - had much looser inhibitions. They
also had frighteningly low tolerances to the stuff, probably because
alcohol was such a precious commodity that they barely ever drank any.

"Hey, Shinjiiii..." Asuka slurred out. "Don' you think Ra nee's to
loos'n up?"

"Asuka..." Shinji said, trailing off. He blinked several times,
trying to stay awake. "You're drunk, aren't you?"

"Yup," Asuka said, smiling. She leaned on Shinji's shoulder and
lazily traced a finger around his flushed cheeks. "Bu' you are
tooooo, Shinji-chan..."

Shinji sighed, as his head dipped down a little. He snapped his head
back up, but it drooped again. "We should prob'bly get to bed," He
said. He looked apologetically at Rei, but only for a moment.

"Al-riiight!" Asuka groaned out. "We is partyin' tonight!" She
raised both her hands up, flashing a double "V" to the world with her
fingers. Then she hiccuped, leaned back on Shinji's shoulder, and
closed her eyes. She was snoring a moment later.

Shinji sighed again. "I'm sorry, Ayanami..." he said. "But could you
help me with her?"

Rei didn't move. She looked over Asuka, then back into Shinji's eyes.
"When...when did it start?"

"Hm?" Shinji asked, blinking again. He stood up and looped his hands
under Asuka's armpits, supporting her as he stood up. Rei's brow
furrowed, but then she got to her feet and took Asuka's legs.
Together, they started walking back towards Shinji's hut.

"When did what start, Ayanami?" he asked, as they walked.

"...between you and Soryu. When did you start...getting closer?"

"Oh," Shinji replied, simply. He said nothing for the next few
minutes. In that time, they made it back to the shelter, where they
deposited Asuka on the blanket resting on the ground. As they let go
of her, she rolled over, sprawling out over the ground.

Shinji motioned for them to step outside. Rei followed him to the
"doorway" of the shelter. Once outside, Shinji leaned back against
the rough stone wall and sat down on the ground. The exertion of
carrying the girl here had woken him up, but he still felt tired.

"She can be worse than Misato-san, sometimes," Shinji said, shaking
his head.

Rei said nothing; she sat down on the opposite side of the entry, then
turned her head to look over at him. She waited patiently.

"Oh, yeah, your question," Shinji said, as though just remembering.
He shifted position, holding one knee against his body and stretching
out his free leg. "I guess I should be dramatic and say something
like, 'I don't know when, it just sort of happened'."

Rei's only reaction was to blink.

"But I can't really say that. It's kind of a long story."

"I have time."

Shinji looked over at Rei, surprised at what she'd said. Then he
smiled and shrugged it off. He was tired, but...she looked like she
wanted to know. Ayanami actually being _interested_ in something was
a rare event.

^Oh, why not?^ he figured. ^She _is_ a friend...I guess...^

"What was it...well, just after...you know...," he began.

"Third Impact," Rei said, saying the words Shinji hadn't wanted to.

"Yeah," Shinji said, nodding nervously. He rubbed the back of his
head with one hand. "Anyway, after that, we were both pretty messed
up. I can't remember when I came back...I just sort of woke up on a
beach, with this sea of LCL out there in front of me."

Rei nodded. She'd gotten a brief glimpse of that, herself. Her point
of view had been just over the surface of the liquid, looking at
Shinji. The boy had looked back at her...and seemed to understand what
had just happened.

"Let's see...we eventually got up and had a look around," Shinji
continued. He flexed his hands as he said this, as an unwanted memory
came back. He could still remember the feel of Asuka's neck in his
hands.

"So then...we spent the first few days just looking around, to see
what had survived. There wasn't much." He laughed a little. "There
wasn't even much in the form of shelter."

"Yes?" Rei asked, her voice almost expectant.

"So, every night, we never really slept far from each other. Because
of that, almost every night I could hear her crying herself to sleep.
One day, I offered to help, and she...slapped me for it. She'd been
through so much...and she still only wanted to rely on herself."

Rei nodded, turning her head to look at the sky as Shinji continued.

"Then...one night, I was going to sleep, and she came up next to me.
She asked me if she could talk to me for a while."

He slowly took a breath and let it out. "And she just started
talking. About her mom...about Unit-02...about the MP Evas...she told
me so much, everything that was on her mind, everything that was
making her cry herself to sleep. I asked her why me. And she said,
'why not'?"

Shinji closed his eyes, remembering. "So then she asked me what was
on _my_ mind. Said that she actually wanted to know." He looked
conspiratorially at Rei. "I think she just felt guilty," he
whispered. "But...I don't know, maybe she actually _did_ want to
hear. I can't tell what she's thinking, half the time."

Rei didn't respond, but still appeared to be listening. Shinji
continued.

"So I told her about everything that happened. I told her about what
I saw during Third Impact..." - the words came out easier, this time -
"...and about Kaoru, and you, and Unit-01...it was really weird. I
hadn't really thought all that stuff was bothering me, anymore, but I
couldn't stop myself. I guess I was just deluding myself, thinking
that it didn't bother me."

"Did knowing about me bother you?" Rei asked, looking back at him.

"Hm?" Shinji asked, turning to look at her. "You...well...it was
strange, learning about where you came from."

"Did knowing about me bother you?" Rei repeated.

"Kind of...I guess..." Shinji said, meekly, turning his head away from
her gaze. "Seeing that tank full of extra bodies just made my stomach
turn. And Ritsuko-san also said you were part Angel. Half of you was
the thing we were supposed to be killing. I...didn't know what to
think."

Rei went back to looking at the sky. ^He's afraid of me...^

"...go on," Rei said. "What happened after you spoke with Soryu?"
She turned back to looking at the sky.

Shinji smiled a little, seeing that he wasn't the only one who didn't
want to follow that other line of thought. ^You don't want to be left
alone either, do you, Ayanami?^ he thought.

"But anyway," he continued, "Asuka listened to me the whole time.
Then she got up to leave. I don't know, maybe talking like that gave
me courage, but I asked her if she wanted to stay. And...she just lay
down next to me and went to sleep."

He paused, letting silence fall on them, while they watched everyone
else try to enjoy themselves in the dimming light.

"And that's when it happened," he said, after a long while. "I knew
right then...that if we were going anywhere, it would be together."

He looked over at Rei. The girl was resting her chin in one hand,
staring straight ahead into space. If not for the occasional blink,
she could do a stunning impression of a statue. ^I thought she wanted
to know...^ Shinji wondered. ^Why is she looking so disinterested
now? I guess that's just how Ayanami is...^

"I must sound like an idiot, huh?" Shinji asked her, trying to get her
attention.

Rei didn't respond. She didn't change her position. Shinji leaned
over to touch her arm and see if she was okay, but changed his mind at
the last second, turning back and resuming his seat on the other side
of the doorway. At this, Rei sighed, the noise so quiet that she
barely heard it herself.

"Idiot..." she said to herself. Shinji heard it, though, and thought
she was talking to him.

"Yeah, I guess I can be," he said, leaning back and crossing his hands
behind his head.

"Do you love her?" Rei asked, raising her voice slightly so Shinji
could hear her more easily.

^I don't know if I'll be able to understand his answer...not if I
don't even understand my _own_ feelings. But I still want to hear
what he has to say.^

Shinji paused, thinking it over. "I wish I could say..." he said.
"They always say it hits you, right out of the blue, just 'bam!' And
you know right then. But...yes, I guess I do."

Rei just nodded. She also turned her head off to the side, turning
her face away from Shinji and leaning her head against the wall. She
gently rubbed at her eyes, which had become moist all of a sudden.

^I'm reacting this way again...what's wrong with me? Or is this how
I'm supposed to be acting? I'm so confused...^

"Are you tired?" Shinji asked her. From his point of view, Rei's
actions looked like they came from fatigue. "It _has_ been kind of a
long day, hasn't it?"

"Yes, it has," Rei said, evenly. She slowly adjusted her balance and
got to her feet.

"Heading back?" Shinji asked. Quiet crunching sounds came as he got
to his feet. "Here, I'll go back with you."

"It's not necessary, Ikari-kun."

"Humor me."

Rei turned her head to look at him, intending to tell him he should
stay behind. But as her eyes met his, the words died in her mouth.
She shook her head slightly and turned to go, listening as Shinji fell
in step beside her.

"Idiot..." she said to herself, again. Shinji heard it again, but
only looked at her, confused and questioning. Rei tried not to
notice.

They didn't say anything, the whole way back. Shinji kept trying to
think up things to break the silence, but Rei's deadpan expression
kept him from trying.

What he didn't know was that _this_ time, the blank expression was a
result of a tumult of thoughts going on in Rei's mind. So much was
going through her head at once that she didn't know how to react.

^...he said that was when he knew...but for something so simple as
talking?

^...I was never good at talking, was I...

^...he said he loved her...^

Shinji stopped as they reached the shelter Unit-00 had set up just
days before. Kaoru was there already with Kensuke. Kensuke was
almost literally drooling over the sight of the nearby Eva, while
Kaoru was explaining a few of the Eva's capabilities.

"...goodnight, Ayanami," Shinji said, quietly. So quietly, in fact,
that he wasn't sure she'd heard him. But as Rei walked away, she
turned her head to look at him again.

"Goodnight, Ikari-kun. See you tomorrow." With that, she walked off
into the shelter.

Shinji watched, even more confused, as she walked away. He turned
back towards the camp, feeling the fatigue of the day start to catch
up to him.

"I wonder if she'll ever call me by my first name?" he wondered aloud,
as he walked.

* * *

Rei lay down on the blanket she'd laid out on the ground. The dirt
was rather forgiving, but putting an extra pad down was cleaner, if
anything. She knew she could sleep just about anywhere - from an
actual bed to a hospital chair to an Entry Plug - but she also knew
cleanliness was a good thing to have.

She curled up on the blanket, as night fell outside. Another blanket
lay nearby, in case it became cold later on. She closed her eyes and
tried to go to sleep.

Unfortunately, sleep was not quick in coming. This was strange in
itself; Rei knew she'd _never_ had trouble getting to sleep before.

She rolled over, switching positions in hopes that that would make it
easier to fall asleep. It didn't work. She rolled onto her back and
looked at the stony ceiling, trying to figure out what she could do.
She knew she needed to sleep; there would be much to do tomorrow. So
why couldn't she?

"Having trouble?" Kaoru asked, from his bed nearby. Rei turned her
head and looked at him, surprised that he was also awake. In the dim
light, she could barely make out his form, but it seemed he was lying
on his back, with his hands crossed behind his head. His eyes also
appeared to be closed.

"Yes..." Rei said, hesitantly.

"I suppose it's only to be expected. You and Shinji-kun _were_
talking for some time, I saw."

Rei felt her cheeks heat up at the tone in Kaoru's voice as he said
that. ^Stop it, you idiot,^ she thought to herself. ^You can't think
about Ikari.^

Kaoru fell silent for some time. Rei was beginning to think he'd gone
to sleep when he spoke up again.

"Why do you feel that way?" he asked, quietly.

"Excuse me?" Rei asked.

In the dark, Kaoru turned his head in her direction, and opened his
eyes. "Why do you feel the way you do about Shinji-kun?"

Rei felt her cheeks heat up again. She shook her head clear before
opening her mouth to reply. But no words came out; she didn't know
what to say. She paused, sorting through her thoughts.

"...I don't know," she finally said.

"Hm?"

"I'm not sure. It's very undefined, Kaoru-san. It's...just something
about him."

"Surely you can do better than that."

Rei sighed. "He..." she stopped, thinking about what to say.
Finally, she hit on it. "He's the only person who ever asked me to
smile."

"...That's all?" Kaoru asked, incredulous.

Rei shook her head slowly. "That was just the first thing I thought
of," she explained. "He's also the only person I've ever cried for."

"So he hit the extremes then, eh?"

Rei continued, ignoring Kaoru's comment. "I...don't know when it
happened. I don't know when I started to love him - "

"_Do_ you love him?"

Rei blinked at the question, pausing. "I..." she said, trailing off.

"Yes?"

Rei sat up, thinking. ^Ikari-kun said that he loved Soryu...and he
had a definite time when it happened. Yet I cannot...what does that
mean?^

"Yes, I do," Rei replied, the words coming out of her mouth before she
even knew what she was saying. "I...I _hate_ seeing him with
her...and I have never hated before. I know it's hopeless, but I know
I can't stop feeling like this, either..."

"Interesting," Kaoru replied. He rolled over, turning his back to
her. "Well, why don't you try getting to sleep again, Rei?"

Rei blinked at the sudden change in attitude. "What?"

"Try again," Kaoru said. "Sometimes saying what's on your mind can
help. Shinji-kun did the same thing with me. He had so much he was
worried about, but if he told me about it, he would feel better, and
he'd be able to get to sleep."

^But I _don't_ feel better...^ Rei thought.

She listened quietly as Kaoru's breathing became slower and more
regular. Slowly, she lay back down on her blanket and shut her eyes.
This time, she could feel sleep coming. ^I guess it _does_ work,^ she
thought.

Just before she began to lose consciousness, she felt a twinge in her
spine. It spread quickly, sending a cold shiver through her body and
leaving her breathless for a minute. On the corner of her
consciousness, she saw Kaoru react the same way, at the same time.
However, the boy remained asleep.

Breathing hard as she regained control again, Rei thought about what
that could have been. Unable to come up with an answer, she closed
her eyes. Sleep came quickly.

***

As Rei and Kaoru were talking themselves to sleep, two other people
were trying to get to get comfortable. Well, _one_ person was trying
to get comfortable. The girl sharing his home was already
unconscious.

"You're going to hate yourself in the morning, aren't you?" Shinji
asked, stroking Asuka's hair absentmindedly with one hand.

"Baka," he said quietly, smiling as he looked down on her. He
carefully lay down next to her, draping one arm over her as he closed
his eyes and pulled her a little closer.

As he tried to get comfortable, it happened: a rigorous chill ran
through his body, stealing his breath from him. He felt Asuka shiver
as well, under his arm.

Shinji was left confused as to what had caused that. "Must be colder
than I thought," he reasoned. He pulled an extra blanket over the two
of them, and resumed his former position. It didn't take him long to
get comfortable again, and it didn't take much longer after that for
him to get to sleep.

* * *

In the dead of night, something off the south coast of Japan moved.

Life returned to long-dead limbs. Joints creaked as the soul was torn
out of the body, to be replaced by a new soul. Stony skin crackled,
rippling as it changed over to white flesh. As this happened, five
special people, who were once called the Children, felt it, their
bodies reacting strongly to this unholy reincarnation.

The resurrected Mass-Production Eva stood up. It pulled the Lancea
Longinus copy out of its chest. The weapon disintegrated as soon as
it was out of the Eva, but it was no matter.

The mecha groaned, opening its demonic mouth and baring its teeth as
its wings extended, stretching to their full span. The Eva tested
them gingerly, flapping them until it was sure the wings were in good
condition. Then, with a stronger flap, it took to the skies.

----------------------------------------------------------- ----------
Endnote: What's with that look you're giving me? Eva is a great
anime, with a great story and characters, but it just isn't the same
without the giant robots. ^_^

I hate having to do this to you, but there's going to be a delay in
between now and the posting of the next part. I'll wager a guess and
say two or three weeks. This part was more of a rush job than it
might seem, and I ended up going too quickly for my prereaders.

As a note, thank you to my prereaders for putting up with me. The
Avatar of Dragonia, Heavyarms Kai, and Tito Ghio are all to thank for
the story coming as far as it has.
------------------------------------------------------------------ ----
Started: April 8, 2001
Ended: April 21, 2001

Send mail to: otakusadist@hotmail.com
And visit my site: http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/shinjirei