Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ The Way Out is Through ❯ Gone, Still ( Chapter 6 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

I do not own Evangelion. I do however maintain, and operate an eleven million dollar piece of government equipment. So what now?





The Way Out is Through
By Ovrboost


-Silence-


“…Ist das Sie?” Yuriy called out, as he threw the door open. The sight that met his eyes was expected, yet unexpected at the same time. Asuka was stepping back slowly, and scanning the ground with wild eyes. Abruptly, she ran out of room, and collided with the wall. “Asuka?” She looked up at him, eyes desperate, searching.

“Yuriy.” she said quietly, in a controlled voice. “What…” she shook her head again, quicker this time. “What did… he say his name was?” she asked, having to swallow a lump that had mystically appeared in her throat, mid-sentence. Yuriy stared at her for a moment, thoroughly confused.

“…Shinji Ikari. …Why is that so important, Asuka?” She stared into his eyes for a long moment, then she laughed. It was sick sounding, almost like sobbing with a smile.

“You’re lying.” she said, quite simply between laughing fits. “That’s impossible, you must have misunderstood… You can‘t speak Japanese worth a damn.” She had clasped the side of her skull with one hand, running it back through her hair, almost pulling it… and laughing. Now Yuriy was beyond confused, and it showed on her face.

“No, Asuka. …I know what he said. Now why… why is that so important?” She didn’t answer, but she did stop laughing, and was staring at a spot on the carpet, about two feet in front of her. An uncomfortable silence ensued for a brief, maddening moment. Yuriy took a step towards her, and tried to lay a hand on her shoulder. He spoke in a softer voice, “Asuka, what…”

“Don’t fucking touch me!” she snapped, pushing him roughly away. He held up both hands, and backed off.

“You gotta talk to me Asuka… What the hell has gotten into you?” She shot a glare at him that would have stopped the heart of a weaker man. It was the crazed look in her eye, that had finally sent Yuriy reeling. He decided, wisely, to leave well enough alone, and back off a few more feet.

“I do not. Have. To tell you. Shit.” she told him in that voice, that horribly controlled, dangerous voice. She looked through the door, and visibly composed herself, before silently, slowly stalked through the open door before her. Yuriy watched her go, with wide, disbelieving eyes.

Inside the room, Shinji still lay in the bed, but had half propped himself up with his good arm, trying to see, and understand, what exactly was going on around him. He was sure the man that had been with him had said “Asuka”. His blood had suddenly gone cold, goose bumps rising on the back of his neck when he heard it. It… it couldn’t be…

He had almost succeeded in deluding himself, could have believed that he had somehow misheard him, got confused… anything.

Then he saw her. The visage that had haunted his nightmares for the last six years, walking towards him. A little different, sure, but there was no mistaking it. Not when you’re Shinji Ikari.

Shinji whispered uncertainly; “Asuka…” It was soft enough that only he heard it, but his voice quivered all the same. She looked like hell. She had bags beneath her bloodshot eyes, framed by pale skin, and an unruly mane of unkempt hair. If Shinji hadn’t known any better, he could have swore that she had just risen from the dead, which to him seemed pretty accurate.

She stopped her procession at the foot of his bed, and silently stared at him. Their wide, disbelieving eyes met, transfixed on the pair staring back at them. Out of the corner of Shinji’s eye, he could see the large, bearded man from earlier, standing uncertainly at the doorway.

“Ikari?” Asuka asked in a low, uncertain voice. Shinji suddenly found his mouth devoid of moisture, and had to swallow several times, before making an intelligible reply.

“As..Asuka?” He nervously glanced back to the doorway. “ Is that… you?” She blinked. Her head tilted slightly down, and her visage grew dark. Yep. That’s her. said a voice from somewhere deep within his mind.

“Ich wünsche…” she took a shallow breath, “daß Sie tot waren.” She seethed out the words.

“Asuka…” Yuriy said in a low warning. She shot a quick glare at him, before turning back to the bearded boy before her.

“It’s all your fault, Ikari.” she raised her right arm, pointing a shaking finger at Shinji. “You… You’re the reason everything is so fucked up.” She pointed said finger to her left eye, “You’re the reason I’m so fucked up!” her voice was rising with every word, her entire body began to shake. “You mother fucker!” Her voice cracked slightly.

“Asuka!” Yuriy yelled at her from the doorway, trying to get her to calm down. His call went unheeded.

“Asuka.. I… What… uh, I mean… you… you‘re alive?” Shinji stuttered, his reeling mind trying to process the flood of information, unfortunately with minimal success.

“Ich gehe zum bumsen töten Sie!” She jumped onto the bed, going for the throat. In a flash, Asuka had her fingernails digging into the soft flesh of Shinji’s neck, breaking skin, as her hands began to choke the life from him. “ Sie verlasste mich,” she screamed the words, voice breaking with the force, “You son of a bitch!” Shinji thrashed his limbs with all his weakened might, trying in vain to knock the deranged redhead away from him.

Yuriy bolted across the room, grabbing Asuka’s shoulders from behind. Before he could jerk her off of the boy, an unseen elbow flew up, colliding into his nose with a painful crunch. He saw stars, the blinding pain causing his eyes to tear up, and blood to flow from his nose. He stumbled back, tripping over the chair near the bed, and behind him, landing hard onto his back. She paid him no mind, as she continued her assault.

Asuka’s screams, and curses had quieted, having turned into wide-eyed, manic utterances as she concentrated on her deadly task. She could feel his windpipe near the point of collapse. Blood flowed freely, from where her fingernails had pierced the skin on the sides of his neck. Her breathing came in jerking, frenzied gasps, eyes wide, taking it all in, while the boy below her struggled desperately for air. Eventually, Shinji’s limbs began to slow, weakly beating at Asuka’s sides. A tear slid out of his eye, but his gaze was locked on Asuka’s down turned face.

He stopped struggling. His legs stopped kicking, and his arms stopped flailing. Still he searched her face, waiting for her eyes to meet his. Waiting for an answer, a reason. Waiting for her to see the questioning look in his tired eyes. Slowly, she complied.

The screaming pain from his lungs, and muscles became strangely distant, and his vision tunneled, fading quickly at the edges. Finally their eyes met. Shinji knew he couldn’t stop her, he had already accepted that. He blinked slowly, Trying to bring everything into focus, failing miserably. That’s when it happened.

He could see her tears. Her pain was tangible, he could see it in her face, feel it in her hands, as they clutched, and clawed at him. He could see his right hand as it caressed the side of her face. Then he saw nothing, a complete fade to black. Distantly, he felt the pressure quickly release from around his neck. He didn’t care, this was a warm place.

Asuka lay strewn out over the bed, unconscious, blood slowly seeping from the back of her head. The sudden silence of the room was abruptly broken by the sound of wood clattering to the floor, and heavy breathing.

“God damn it, Asuka.” Yuriy breathed the words out, standing over the bed.

“Papa… why did she hit you?” Svetlana asked her father in a small voice. The night before, when the small girl had witnessed the confrontation between Asuka, and her father, she had sat silently in the shadows of her unlit room, staring morosely into the darkness, sometimes crying softly. It wasn’t until this morning that she had dared to come out of her room. She had heard the screams, the unintelligible curses, and the cries. It scared the hell out of her.

Yuriy looked down at the top of her head, as she clung tightly to his chest. He laid his cheek upon the top of her head and replied, “I don’t know, honey… but,” he said, pushing her slightly away, so she could look up at him; “everything is going to be okay. I promise.” Her tear stained eyes pulled hard on his heart. He couldn’t bear to she his little girl cry like that, not over something like this. He pulled her into another hug.

They sat there in the kitchen, the low light of an overcast sky shown through the window over the sink. The house was silent again. Too silent. Yuriy sighed, and looked towards the small wind-up clock in the corner. It had been an hour. Asuka would be awake soon, The young man, Shinji, should already be conscious. The thought made the blood run cold in his veins.

“Svetlana…” he said quietly, waiting for her to look up at him; “ Honey, I need you to stay in your room, while I handle this. I’ll come get you when it’s all over, okay?” She still had those damn tears in her eyes, as she nodded. He almost cried. “I love you, Svetlana.” He kissed her forehead, and stood her up. “Go on…” She stood before him, hesitating for a moment.

“Yes papa…” she said in a quiet voice, before she turned and walked out of the room. Yuriy watched her go.

Damn it… What the hell is going on here… he thought, after a moment.

He stood, and walked slowly to his bedroom, where he had placed Asuka. The door hinges squealed with a piercingly high pitch, as he opened, and closed the door. On the bed, Asuka’s head flopped groggily from side to side, a low groan emanating from her lips. Yuriy watched her from the doorway, hand still on the doorknob. One of Asuka’s eyes slid slowly open, and directed itself at him. It was the gray one. Yuriy wanted to shudder, but suppressed the urge, and moved across the room towards his armchair instead. He couldn’t help but watch out of the corner of his eye, as her horribly discolored pupil tracked his progress across the room.

Yuriy’s chair creaked softly, as he settled into it’s cushion, and crossed his legs. She was still watching him, both eyes now open. Tired of waiting for her to speak, he broke the silence.

“That was a hell of a hit, Asuka… You broke my nose.” He was keeping his voice even, trying to sound reasonable. She blinked slowly, and looked away, mumbling something.

“What‘s that? …I didn’t hear you.” She struggled briefly in her makeshift restraints, and sharply turned her head back towards him.

“I said I’m…” she stopped when she finally realized the force with which she was projecting her voice, before continuing softly; “Look… I sorry, okay?” she said with a small voice. He didn’t reply, Asuka turned her head away from him again.

“Who is he?” he asked, keeping his voice level. She sighed heavily, turning her head back towards him.

“Can you untie me?”

“No. Who is he?” he persisted, uncrossing his legs, and leaning slightly forward. “It’s obvious you know him, and I will not untie you, until you tell me. Besides, right now it‘s for your own good.” She lay silent, and closed her eyes. Yuriy just leaned back into his chair, and sighed. “You almost killed him, Asuka.”

She whispered, “I know.” He leaned forward quickly, uncrossed his legs, and glared hard at her.

“I can’t fucking believe you Asuka. His wife just fucking died.” her eyes snapped open wide, and gave Yuri a questioning look. “He almost died… twice. And that’s all you can say? ”

“She… she was his wife?” He paused, taken slightly aback by her question, before continuing in a more reasonable voice.

“Yes Asuka, she was. Now who the hell is he?” Instead of answering him, she turned her head towards the ceiling, and stared. They sat in an uncomfortable silence, as time slowly ticked by.

Finally, Asuka broke the silence with a whisper; “My head hurts…”

From the street, the house looked dark, nothing lit the interior. Dead. he thought, The house looks dead… A light rain cascaded down from the sky, yet Shinji could not feel it. Nor could he feel the wind, as it whipped the tree branches above him, and swayed the long grass before him. No sound reached his ears, yet he felt compelled to enter the building.

Suddenly he was at the door, shielded from the rain by the porch. This is… home. He looked back over his shoulder, to find that the rain had stopped, the wind down to a cool summer breeze, and the sun shining its radiance through a crystal clear blue sky. He couldn’t help but smile. He turned back to the door, and opened it. I’m home…

“Welcome home.” The soft feminine voice briefly startled Shinji, for he did not expect anyone to actually be inside. His smile grew, as he recognized the owner of that voice, though he could not see her.

Shinji walked through the threshold, and the house came to life. Dozens of candles lined the furniture, bathing the room in a warm twilight. On the dining room table, four plates line it’s perimeter, set with food waiting to be consumed. Four plates… He faintly heard the delighted screams, and the laughing of children, somewhere in the background. It was dark outside.

“I’m in here, Shinji.” he heard that beautiful voice come from the kitchen. He walked quickly through the doorway, to find the kitchen awash in the bright light of a sunny mid-afternoon, as it shown through the triple paned window above the sink, where it was partially blocked by a body.

“Ming…” he said, almost in awe. Shinji maneuvered around the table in the center, and came up behind her. “Oh God. Ming, I had the most horrible dream.” he said, as he wrapped his arms around her waist. He wanted to melt into her warmth. Eventually, and as one, they slowly began to sway to an unheard beat. Shinji kissed the nape of her neck, hugged her tighter, and rested his head on her shoulder.

“Shinji…” she said, almost sounding distant.

“Hmm?” he hummed, enjoying the warmth.

“I love you, Shinji…” He smiled, and kissed the side of her neck.

“I love you too, Ming.” They stopped swaying, and Shinji could feel Ming turning in their embrace to face him, snaking her arms around his neck. He pressed her body up against his own, and looked into her eyes. Something was missing. He couldn’t quite pin it down, the answer eluded him. She smiled.

“I’ll be right back.” Shinji didn’t want her to go. He shook his head, and hugged her tighter around the waist.

“No… Stay with me, just for a lil while longer.” He said, pleading softly. Her sad smile was his only response, as she slipped from his grip. Shinji was powerless to stop her, their embrace ended at the fingertips, Ming’s slipping, and his’ gripping. She seemed to glide out through the doorway, he wanted to follow, but his legs felt like lead. The light in the room had grown darker, the sky overcast, and threatening rain. Something definitely didn’t feel right, and it was beginning to frighten him.

Shinji called out, “Ming?” His only response, the sound of the howling wind, as it gusted passed the house, raking tree branches noisily across the siding. Finally, his legs decided that they could move… just not very fast. Halfway through the kitchen, he heard the front door slam open, letting the wind enter the house. A few fall leaves blew in through the doorway, spinning, and flying in the breeze.

“Ming?” he called out once again. His legs still didn’t feel like cooperating, especially after he had heard her scream. His heart was racing, sweat beaded across his brow, and instead of dashing to the rescue, he froze.

“Shinji!” she shrieked from the other room. Shinji looked down, suddenly realizing that he was holding his pistol. When did that happen? he thought absently, pulling back the slide. He rounded the corner, just in time for the echoing gunshot. He looked up, to find his beloved standing before him, stark naked, and bleeding from a wound to her chest. She was reaching out towards him. Her skin was deathly pale, and her face… Shinji screamed.

He jerked up to a sitting position, feeling a sharp, painful tug at his right arm. It took a moment, before his mind realized that he was indeed in bed. The room darkened, and his sheets wet. His chest burned in an unending dull throb, as did his shoulder. He looked down to find the annoyance stuck to his arm, finding an IV line taped to his forearm. He glared at it, and grasped it with his other hand. He pulled at it, gasping with the new, sharp pain. It moved slowly at first, then with one quick, sliding tug, it flew out of his vein, spraying his blood onto the window curtain, and adjacent wall.

He sat there, breathing heavily, as he watched his blood slowly run down the wall, and shivered. Shinji gathered himself in a shuddering breath, and swung his legs out, and over the side of the bed. About the time he had finally gotten to his feet, the door opened. Stunned, Shinji turned to find Yuriy halfway through the door, wearing a slightly shocked expression.

“Shinji.” The older man said, “You need to rest. Please, lay back down..” Shinji just shook his head, and gave him a solemn look.

“What is your name.” Yuriy stared at him for a moment, before replying. He shook his head slightly, with a slight grin. wry

“I’ve yet to tell you?” Shinji shrugged a bit, “My apologies... my name is Aleksandrov…” he said walking around the bed to him, and extending his hand. “Call me Yuriy.” Shinji looked at his hand a moment before taking it, giving him a weak shake. He almost smiled.

“Y..Yuriy…” Shinji said the name several times, trying to match the older man‘s accent and pronunciation. “Yuriy, could you…” he coughed weakly, and looked back to the older man’s face, “Can I… see her?” he spoke with just over a whisper, in a gravelly voice. His throat hurt like hell.

“Your wife?” he asked solemnly, and received a nod. He sighed, and put a gentle hand upon his back. “Come with me…”

It had been several minutes since they had both heard the scream, the shrill agony present in the sound had given rise to goose bumps. Yuriy had went to check, leaving Asuka still restrained to the bed. She could faintly hear the muffled sounds of their conversation, and the shuffling, uncertain footfalls of one Shinji Ikari. She hadn’t told Yuriy anything during his abbreviated interrogation, and briefly wondered if he would try asking Shinji.

Doesn’t really matter… she told herself, forcing herself not to scratch at the still-fresh stitches on her left hand. She heard the back door slam home. Spring’s too tight. she thought with a smirk, …Must be going to the… grave. The thought lingered, and bounced around her skull for approximately the space of a second, before she practically leapt into action.

She struggled mightily against her bonds, jerking, and twisting her arms hard within the rope holding her down by the wrists. Asuka smirked when the slight give of the rope told her of Yuriy’s knot tying skills, and redoubled her efforts.

Outside, the breeze blew cool, tree branches swaying gently, leaves softly rustling with each concurrent gust. The low clouds hid the radiance of the sun, reducing it’s glory to a pale, mournful light. Neither man would have had it any other way.

Shinji shuffled weakly through the grass towards the solitary tree, he could plainly see the fresh mound of dirt, and feel the soft guiding touch of the man beside him. He had yet to even see the grave, however, he could already feel the tears begin to build. He felt hollow.

Somehow it just didn’t seem real when he was first told that Ming was dead, her assault, and murder like a distant, horrible nightmare. Laying in that bed, he could have easily deluded himself into believing that his wife, his beautiful Ming, would walk around the corner, lay down in the bed with him, where they could hold each other tight, and never let go.

Instead, he was living the nightmare.

The realization that he was walking to her grave, her final resting place, dissolved any and all illusions of ever being able to hold her, touch her, kiss her, or make love to her again. Every step towards the grave sent shockwaves through his soul like a jackhammer. Every step a reminder, a reassurance that he was indeed alone. Again.

His periphery blurred, and his lips quivered, while the gentle breeze played with his long, unkempt hair. The hand was still guiding him, leading him towards the damning truth. He saw it. A long mound of disturbed earth crowned with a simple stone marker. His breath caught in his throat, and he stumbled.

“Shinji!” Yuriy gasped as the young man he was guiding suddenly dropped to one knee. Yuriy kneeled down with him, steadying Shinji with strong hands. “Are you alright?” he asked softly, as if someone might hear.

“I’m..” he coughed, and looked up into the older man’s face, “I’m fine…” his voice betrayed the strength he was trying to project. Yuriy nodded, and helped him back to his feet, and they continued.

When they had finally reached the grave, silence reigned. Yuriy stood with his head facing down, but in his periphery, he was watching the young man to his right. When Shinji let out a strangled sob, and went weak in the knees, Yuriy let him fall, but provide enough support for it to be a gentle descent. Above them the leaves rustled gently, muting the moans, and cries of a love, lost.

Yuriy patted Shinji’s back as the young man’s tears began to soak his shirt at the shoulder. He held him like he would hold a brother. Remembering his own loss, he silently cried as well. There are some things one can never forget.

It had taken longer than she had hoped, but finally, and with little fanfare, she was free. Her head still pounded from where Yuriy had hit her, and she silently cursed him. Asuka tossed the rope off of her, and into the corner, absently rubbing at her sore wrists, as she got to her feet. She would have to make this quick. She didn’t want Yuriy to see her. He would only try to stop her.

Asuka brushed the hair out of her face, and made her way towards the room’s exit. Her hand on the doorknob started to twist when she realized that she had forgotten something. Yuriy put my pills in here… She raged a silent war inside her head for a long moment, before finally relenting to the unrealistic, and damning urges. She searched frantically, tearing drawers out, throwing shirts out of the closet, disheveling the mattress. She was breathing heavily, and moving with a desperate urgency.

The dresser… She thought, as she looked at said piece of furniture from across the room. With large, sweeping strides, she closed the distance quickly, and began ripping the drawers from their rails. As fate had it, she heard the familiar rattle, as she jerked out the last remaining drawer.

She paused. There it was. Her little innocuous brown pill bottle. Hungrily, she snatched it up, and held it to the light. Half empty… She thought, and smiled, stuffing it in her pocket. She absently wondered how much time she had wasted, as she strode back over to the door.

Asuka turned the doorknob with a final look back at her handy work, and stealthily walked out into the hallway. Not even two full strides away from the room, she heard the back door close, and stopped mid stride. Yuriy’s heavy foot steps on the kitchen tile snapped her out of her momentary trance, and she quickly jumped back through the door from which she had come.

Scheiße! Scheiße! Scheiße! she mentally screamed at herself. She knew exactly why this had happened, the answer lay sandwiched between two layers of her denim jeans. Asuka took a deep, almost calming breath, and placed her ear to the door. What she heard was unintelligible, but it at least clued her into the location of the house’s other occupants.

Yuriy walked slowly through the ante-room leading to the kitchen, where he found his daughter sitting peacefully at the table, back turned to him. He quickly swiped the remnants of tears from his eyes, and cleared his throat.

“Sv..Svetlana. Honey. Would you go out and do you’re chores, just… don’t…” he sighed tiredly, “don’t bother the young man outside.” She was looking up at him, her bright eyes looking so damn innocent. She smiled her cute little half smile, understanding.

“Yes papa.” Svetlana replied. She rose from the table, and walked over to her father, whom she only stood slightly over waist-high to, and hugged him tightly. Yuriy held her to him, managing to hold back the emotional remnants with a deep breath through his nose. Then he let her go, eventually taking a position at the kitchen sink, and gazed out the window.

Yuriy watched with a kind of morbid fascination. Shinji had asked him for a few moments alone at the grave, and he was all too willing to oblige him. He would go back out to help the young man back to the house, for sure, laying him back in the bed when he was ready. Yuriy shook his head slightly, the professional in him wanted to restrict the young man to bed rest, the widower in him wanted to give him all time he needed. It was a fine line, and he knew he had to stop jumping back and forth soon. Like it or not, he still had a conscience, and it’s guilty enough as is.

Shinji was kneeling over the grave now, having grabbed a handful of the disturbed earth at his feet, he let the dirt pour slowly from the bottom of his fist, the breeze spinning it to dust before hitting the ground.

He’s probably almost done, I should head back out there… Yuriy thought, as he watched through the window, as the young man reached for the small grave marker. In fact he was in the process of pushing away from the counter, when his eye caught a reflection in the window. …Asuka.

She had done it. She had gotten out of the house unnoticed, well at least she thought she had. Said thought didn’t exactly bring a smile to her face, then again, it’s wasn’t exactly the first time she had fled a temporary shelter. Because that’s exactly what all this was - a shelter. Sure, she had spent more time in this one than she normally would have, but she was injured, and needed to regain her strength. Yeah, that’s it.

Shinji… The name tore through her consciousness like an unwanted bullet. If not for the close proximity of the house, she would have stopped in her tracks, instead she stutter-stepped, slowing briefly, before resuming her earlier pace. The boy that had abandoned her. Left her to die, alone, on the battlefield, and after proving to her that he was too chicken shit to do the job himself… left her to die, alone, on the beach. That bastard… she made a weak fist with her right hand. Frustrated by the reduced feeling, and lack of strength in the appendage, she tried to tighten her fist, but it only shook under the strain. it’s all his fault…

The fact that he had married… well, certainly it was a shock. Who, in their right mind, could love that… that… she quickly swiped her forearm over her right cheek. …and look where it got her. She’s dead. I bet that’s all his fault too, he was probably too weak to… A mental picture of the slaughterhouse kitchen flashed through her head, the headless corpse with it’s hands limply clutching at exposed innards. She shuddered. Invincible Shinji, my ass… He should have… would have… he would have died. Her hand unconsciously touched her left cheek, and lingered there for a moment. It sparked a memory from right before she was knocked out, unfortunately, she didn’t have much time to reflect.

She was all of fifty meters from the house when she heard it, the voice that she both wanted, but at the same time, didn’t want to hear. Yuriy.

“Asuka!” Yuriy called out her name, as he sprinted to catch up. He saw her waver, looking back towards him for a moment, before trying to get away. She was the faster runner, that fact was obvious, however, he had the momentum, and the head start.

“Go away, yuriy! Leave me alone!” She yelled, trying to force her legs to move faster. In this she failed. Again, she failed. Story of my life… her mind quietly reminded her. Yuriy grabbed a hold of her right wrist, jerking her to a painful, spinning halt. The momentum caused them to collide with each other, slightly knocking the breath out of Asuka, as their bodies pressed forcefully together. Unfortunately for Yuriy, Asuka had expected something like this, and she would not be denied her escape. She would not, could not fail to escape. It was the only thing left that she was good at. Maybe a little too good at…

Yuriy was breathing heavily, his body wasn’t exactly in combat shape anymore. He swallowed air like a fish out of water, but couldn’t help jerking in a quick breath, and holding it, as he felt something poking him in the ribs, and it most definitely wasn’t Asuka. His shocked eyes looked down from her face, to find a Glock nine-millimeter, magazine fed, semi-automatic pistol stemming from Asuka’s left hand, and poking him squarely in the chest. He was in such a shock, that his instincts failed him, and he did not attempt to knock the weapon away, and disarm her. Which was probably a good thing, when he realized that somewhere… somewhere close by, was his daughter. Though he couldn’t see her he didn’t want to take the chance with her, or his’ life. Thoughts, and scenarios screamed through his head. Would Svetlana become an orphan? Would he lose his only child? Is it too…

“I told you to leave me alone, Yuriy.” Asuka said, slightly jabbing the weapon into his ribs . He released her wrist, and sent his hands skyward, shoulder height. “Why wouldn’t you listen to me?!” Her voice had taken on a desperate air, yet still very determined. He composed himself, forcing himself to breathe.

“Why… Asuka, why do you insist on running away?” Her breath caught, and she was taken aback by his words. The shock evident on her face was soon replaced by anger. She started pushing him back with the barrel of the weapon, arm extended, head slightly down, growling out her reply.

“I’m not running away. God damn it. I…”

“Yes, Asuka. You are.” He interrupted her, and stopped backpedaling. Asuka stepped back, and pointed the weapon at his face, turning her body in line with her firing arm, and watching him closing through her sights.

“You better watch your god damn mouth.” she warned him in a low voice, fingertip gently applying pressure to the trigger. “Don’t make me fucking shoot you.” Yuriy closed his eyes, and took a deep breath, forcing himself to remain calm.

“Asuka. Listen to me…”

“I don’t have to listen to shit!”

“Just hear me ou…” he tried to reason, but was interrupted.

“Fuck you, Yuriy!” she spat. He sighed, and put his hands back to his side.

“Okay Asuka.” he shook his head at her solemnly. “Have it your way. Just so you know, I…” he glanced down, swallowing. It was hard, but he brought his eyes back up to hers. “We… care about you Asuka.”

“Shut up Yuriy…” She sounded like was about to break, “Don’t fucking say it.” her voice was almost to low for him to hear it.

“I told you once, that I’d always be there, …when you’re ready” he swallowed again, closing his eyes. His voice almost cracked; “I’ll listen. I want… I wanna help you, Asuka. But you won’t let me in, …you won’t let me help you.” he opened his eyes, to see that Asuka was trembling slightly. “I won’t stop you.” That said, he turned around, and started to walk away. Asuka blinked. She couldn’t believe it. He was walking away. She snapped.

“Do.. Don’t fucking walk away from me!” She screamed out at him, striding up behind him, pressing the barrel to the base of his skull, with her outstretched arm. He stopped walking, and put his hands back up, level to his shoulders.

“Why not Asuka, you ran away from me…” he stated in a tired voice. For once, she didn’t have anything to say. Frustration was starting to show, he could feel her rocking back and forth on her heals through the barrel of the weapon. That’s when his fears came to life, in the worst way imaginable.

“Papa?” cried out Svetlana in a scared voice, from their right. The unexpected voice surprised Asuka, and she instinctually swung the barrel in her direction. Yuriy felt the barrel leave his skull, moving to the right. Adrenaline shot through his veins, and his stomach dropped like the express elevator to hell.

“NO!” For Yuriy, time seemed to stop.

Mid-spin, it was as if he could walk over to Svetlana, pick her up, and put her in the house, walk back, smoke a cigarette, remove the pistol from Asuka’s hands, and wait for time to start back up. Unfortunately, he wasn’t so lucky.

Svetlana’s eyes widened horribly, when she recognized what was happening, and what it was that was pointing straight at her. To her, the barrel looked big enough to climb into.

Asuka pulled the trigger on reflex.

She had pulled the trigger, at the exact same instant that Yuriy’s hand impacted the pistol, sending the bullet soaring into the distance. Asuka never saw it coming. Yuriy’s left hand shoved the pistol up, and out, followed quickly by his right fist, which impacted solidly with Asuka’s jaw.

There was a loud crack, as her teeth impacted each other, and she felt her neck pop. Her mind wondered momentarily, how it was that she was looking in the opposite direction, behind her right shoulder to be exact, then she felt herself slam to the asphalt. Had Yuriy been a split second slower, she realized with ever growing horror, he would have been digging another grave before the day was out. He would have been burying his eight year old daughter, and she, God help her, she would have been to blame.

The shot’s echo faded quickly. Yuriy stood over Asuka, his arm still extended from the right hook, wide eyed, and taking quick ragged breaths. He stared at nothing for what seemed like forever. He heard Asuka grunt softly in pain, before spitting blood, and half of a tooth out onto the pavement. He let his arm fall limply back to his side, he was shaking.

He took unsteady steps towards his frightened daughter. It felt almost like he was floating, everything seemed strangely muted. His shaky legs moved slow, but picked up speed quickly, before he reached his daughter, he had hit a full sprint. He almost collapsed into her, grabbing her up in his arms, holding onto her with a desperate strength. It took her a moment before she hugged him back. With her reaction, he wept. His shoulders hitched violently, his breaths coming in quick, painful gasps.

“Oh God…” He finally got the words out, between gasps. He pressed his face into the soft flesh of her neck. “Oh God… I’m so sorry…”

Finally, he collected her up in his arms, and stood. He held her head to his shoulder, and started quickly back to the house. He glared over her shoulder at Asuka, to see her curled into a ball, in the middle of the street, rocking back and forth, sobbing into her knees. The gun lay by her side. Yuriy just closed his eyes, and carried his daughter to the safety of their house.

In the street, Asuka couldn’t stop crying. She banged her head against he knees, while rocking back and forth. What… what have I done? J..Jesus Christ… What have I done? Oh God, what… have I done? OhmyGod, ohmy… God,ohmy… God,ohmyGod,ohmyGod,ohmyGod…

“What… Oh God…” She swallowed hard, slamming her head into her knees, again, “What have I done?” Her voice cracked in her whisper, and she shook. Her hands refused to stay still. She raised her head, and looked over at her pistol, then back at her hands. She whispered to herself, “What have I done?” Her face contorted with the guilt, and the tears followed the jerking, and hitching of her shoulders, she hugged her legs to her, and buried her face into her knees.

She stopped. She could feel eyes on her. She sniffed loudly, and raised her head from her knees. Looking at her from the back yard was Shinji. He simply stood there and stared at her for a long moment. She stared back. Their eyes met from across the sixty meters that separated them. She wasn’t sure, but she could have sworn he was telling her something with his eyes. Almost as if he was silently saying that he understood, almost as if he… He turned. Shinji turned away from her, and walked away. Asuka watched him go for a moment, then she looked down at her still-shaking hands. She felt a few more sobs wrack her body.

She spit crimson, and her jaw hurt like all hell. The coppery taste of blood filled her mouth, as she stood on rubbery legs. She spat more crimson, and probed her split tooth with her tongue, cringing slightly as it hit the nerve. Story of my life… she thought, stuffing the Glock back into the small of her back.
She looked to the house, it was quiet, peaceful almost. Then she turned her head to her right, to the east, and down the long, pot-holed road. She shouldered her backpack, and walked back towards the house.

Asuka hesitated on the front porch, her hand mere inches from the doorknob. She collected herself with a deep, ragged breath… and opened the door. She walked into the darkened living room, and found Yuriy sitting on the couch, clutching Svetlana to his chest, rocking slowly. His eyes had been closed, but when she entered, they opened. She wished he had kept them closed. She shut the door, and stood awkwardly in the doorway, not knowing what to say. Yuriy just watched her.

“Y..Yuriy, I…”

“Save it Asuka.” She cut back a strangled sob. The tone of voice he was using told Asuka exactly where he was going.

“Oh God, Yuriy, I’m… I’m so sorry…” her voice was pleading, and the tears threatened to spill once more. He sighed, still holding his daughter to his chest.

“I said save it Asuka.” He made a soothing noise in his daughter’s ear, “I want you to leave. Just… Just get out. Just get out, and don’t come back.”

“Yuriy…” Asuka said quietly, “Please.” She searched his eyes for some form of hope, some form of redemption… Anything. He offered none, and it was her fault. “Help me.” He closed his eyes, and turned his head away from her. She could stop her tears now, and she truly didn’t care. She give a damned who saw them.

“It’s too late for that, Asuka… Get out.”

Asuka nodded slowly, and sniffed loudly. She readjusted the weight on her shoulder, and reopened the door. Halfway through, she looked back over at the man she thought she could have been at home with… at least for a little while.

“Goodbye… Yuriy…” She shut the door, and ran from it as it were on fire. She jogged down the steps, and started to sprint towards the road. She had to run now, she had to run to some place far away. She had to move on, so she could fuck up again, then she would run from there, and it would continue until someone finally killed her… or she killed herself. She got ten feet.

“Asuka!” She almost didn’t hear it, the voice was strained, and hoarse. It was Shinji. “Asuka, wait!”



A/N: Kind of a long chapter, could have been longer, but… well it’s not. Believe it or not, I didn’t want to end the chapter like this, but when I was writing the scene where Asuka shoots her pistol, I couldn’t have done it any other way. I don’t know, it just wouldn’t have felt right, if Yuriy had let her stay after that…

Man, would you just look at all that angst? What the hell is wrong with me? I need to do a happy story… maybe… Anyways, Thank you for reading, and a special thanks to my reviewers, especially ThebigW, and GuppyLips. I know I can count on you guys, thanks. Take care, ~Rob