Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ Witness ❯ Chapter 2 ( Chapter 2 )

Witness chapter 2

 

Adam Kadmon

 

Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion. It should be pretty obvious why. I'm writing an X-rated fanfiction about cartoon characters, for God's sake. If that doesn't already announce the fact that I have nothing to own, to say nothing of the fact that I'm a creep, than I can't teach you anything. Not that I'm trying to. Now, on to the depravity!

 

Warning: rated NC-17. This contains harsh language and graphic sexuality, as well as a dash of violence.

 

 

----------

 

The sixth Angel was nothing more than a strange, thrilling, frightening memory. The Over the Rainbow was docked, resting comfortably in the port of Japan while the shattered UN fleet gave the illusion of a vanguard. The docks were crawling with activity, rushed NERV workers finalizing the transfer of Unit-02, sailors looking on with avid to weary curiosity, civilians openly gaping at the operation, albeit from a very far vantage point.

 

Asuka and Shinji reached solid land, still clad in their identical suits, he still desperately trying to shield his poorly hidden maleness. Bad enough his friends had seen him, videotaped him even, but now Ritsuko was looking at him strangely. Thank goodness Misato seemed to be distracted. His guardian was hunched over the front seat of a jeep, pouting. He followed her line of sight and saw a flash of red as Asuka ran down the dock, intent on some unknown prize.

 

The blonde doctor abandoned her seat beside Misato and shrugged out of her jacket. She met the Third Children was a smile.

 

“Come on, Shinji-kun,” Ritsuko said, draping her coat over his shoulders. “Let's get you out of that suit.”

 

Misato, wallowing in the pits of post-Kaji despair, never saw them leave.

 

“Thank you, Ritsuko-san,” the boy said, hugging the lab coat to him. He had no idea where she was leading him, but as long as it was away from prying eyes and people who knew him, he wasn't complaining. She kept her hand on his back, guiding him. He was happy for her concern, and continued sense of discretion.

 

Sometimes I think she's the sanest one around here.

 

“Thank you,” he said again, as they hopped into a NERV van, carefully parked behind a row of shipping crates. Hopefully he could find a normal plug suit now. Shinji heard Ritsuko shut the van's doors, and thought nothing of it. They sat in the cramped vehicle for a time, her eyes roaming his face. “Ah… could I get a regular suit now?”

 

“Let me… let me look at you.”

 

Shinji blinked.

 

“Um, what?”

 

“Take off the jacket.” She slipped it off him.

 

“Are you okay, Ritsuko-san? You're shaking.” Shinji's hands fell to his crotch. The suit he wore left little to the imagination.

 

She nodded, trembling, and leaned forward. She kissed him. It was not the old way she used to kiss him, not the small, quick pecks that sent his heart fluttering. It was the new way. They were much longer now, and considerably harder. Also, as the newest edition, she used her tongue. These embraces did make his pulse quicken, yes, but they also led to other unstoppable reactions. Things he was not particularly proud of. And in the suit he was wearing, things that were quite painful.

 

After a time that felt like it would not end, she pulled back, caressing his face.

 

“You're very handsome, Shinji-kun. Beautiful, even.” She licked her lips. “Little boy.”

 

He blushed. She had told him before, many times, but there was a hint of urgency in her voice that he'd never detected before. And little boy? He smiled. He knew he was small, and never took any offense to the nickname. He thought it endearing.

 

“You're… you're very beautiful, Ritsuko-san.” God! Why couldn't he tell her? She was the most gorgeous woman he'd ever seen. And not just stunning, but intelligent, cool under fire, a born leader, graceful and compassionate. And that adorable mole! He was getting used to feeling light headed around her as of late.

 

Ritsuko entered his mouth again, and her hands traced their way down to his wrists. She pressed into him too, and he quickly pivoted his waist to the side, as to not defile her with his rising problem. He felt incredibly dirty, but he just couldn't help it. And didn't she mind that he smelled like blood? She laughed a little, her lilting, deep laugh. Shinji gasped when he heard the hiss of released pressure from his suit. While glad for the extra room, he made himself draw away.

 

“Wh-what are you doing?”

 

“Helping you out of your suit. I told you I'd help you, Shinji-kun.”

 

“But… well…”

 

“I'm a doctor, Shinji-kun. And I've seen you naked before.”

 

Yeah, but never after we've been kissing. It leads to… complicating factors. Things that could ruin their quiet friendship. If she ever found out that he sometimes thought about her… in a very friendly way, Shinji knew she would leave him, call him disgusting, slap him. He deserved it.

 

The clasp at the back of his neck disconnected for her hands, and she peeled the plug suit down around his shoulders.

 

“Don't be so scared,” she said, grinning, genuinely amused. “I've seen you before, and you've seen me.” She laughed delicately in his face. “And now I want to see you again.”

 

“Oh… okay…” He focused on keeping his breathing at a manageable level. He tried not to think about where this was headed. Like the very wet place between her legs. It usually left him feeling hot and frustrated, forcing him to manage his arousal with his own hand.

 

The one time she asked to watch him masturbate turned him scarlet, head to toe, while he sputtered out some lame apology about how he had to get home as soon as possible. The idea of doing it in front of her was humiliating and scary. He didn't want anyone to see him in such a state, ever. Ritsuko had shrugged, then shown him to the door with a smile and a kiss goodnight. He liked that about her. She never dwelled on the past. She was nice.

 

She was so nice to him. She explained things about sex and women, like it was no big deal. Like he was worthy of knowing. She treated him like an adult.

 

But still…

 

“I… I don't know if this is a good idea. I mean, what if someone came by?” He fidgeted, the tinted windows in the van doing little to alleviate his apprehension. “Maybe I should change by myself…”

 

Ritsuko's smile vanished.

 

“And why is that?” she demanded.

 

“W-well… I…”

 

She lifted his shielding hands. He shut his eyes in shame.

 

“Ah. I see. Don't be so ashamed, Shinji-kun. It is a natural reaction. You shouldn't feel any embarrassment, not with me.” Her hands tugged the suit down his legs. “It's perfectly natural.”

 

Shinji cringed.

 

“I'm so sorry! I… I can't help it! I—”

 

She kissed him.

 

“Do I excite you, Shinji-kun? Sexually?”

 

He felt dizzy. The air in the van seemed to be vanishing. His body hiccupped.

 

“Don't hate me,” he whispered, pleading. His eyes were still closed. He did not see her flash of teeth, her lips curling into a brutal sneer. He looked again after he heard her shuffling over him. He discovered her underwear around her ankles.

 

“I don't hate you, Shinji-kun.” Ritsuko pushed him on his back. She crawled over him.

 

This was… oh, God. This was… oh, God.

 

The world of adulthood was poised directly above him. He breached it without fanfare or music or accolades. Just a sharp shout.

 

“Ah!”

 

“Be… be quiet,” Ritsuko hissed. “We can't let anyone hear.” He called out again, and she brought his forearm to his mouth. “Bite down on it. We don't want to get caught.” She began a steady, relentless rhythm. “F… fuck me. Fuck me.”

 

Shinji complied. His teeth dug deep into his skin, breaking blood. His eyes refused to open, and he could not see his path to manhood, he could only feel it. His back arched, nearly a full half-circle, and the top of his skull ground into the floor. He did not taste the blood filling his mouth, or the scents that floated by his nostrils, or the sensation of her nails on him. All he could feel was his center pulsing, surrounded by wondrous warmth, sliding up and down, with no end.

 

Ritsuko-san, he tried to shout. He tried to let her know this was the most incredible thing he had ever felt. But his jaw was locked on his arm, and all that he could tell her was a high, very high, pitched scream, muffled only by the hunk of flesh between his teeth and the blood tumbling down the back of his throat.

 

“Oh!” Ritsuko said. She watched Shinji fall apart beneath her. He lasted longer than she thought. She squeezed around him. And he was still hard. He'd better be. “Good work, my little boy.” She began rocking back and forth on him again. “Good work.”

 

----------

 

“That was the first time she… I mean we did… that. Ritsuko-san, she… well, she first talked to me, outside of work, after I came back after the second Angel I fought. I… ran away and… but, after I came back she started talking to me. She invited me to lunch one day. It was nothing fancy, she just said how about we eat together. So… so I said sure. We were in a tent, near where they were investigating the Angel that just died. She… she told me she was proud of me. For coming back. Like it was the most valiant thing ever.”

 

Shinji sniffed.

 

“That's how it started. We'd eat together, or go out to the city on her time off, not really doing anything, just… kind of hanging out. Sometimes, she'd hold my hand or touch my hair, but never around other people. I thought… she was being considerate. I'd always… sort of fluster when she did that. I thought… I really thought she was being nice to me.”

 

He paused, squinting. He sniffed again.

 

“So… so she started talking about… about my father. I was so… so grateful. I really started to think I… so, so she told me that she could help me… she could tell me about my father, anything she knew, anything at all. She said she'd try to help me… talk to him myself. And…a-and she smiled at me a lot, too. And she… somewhere along the way she started kissing me. Not… I… she explained that in her family, kissing was normal, like a sign of affection. She told me that and I believed her. And… I liked it. I mean, she gave me little kisses after synch tests, or when we were alone in the hall, or when no one was looking… no one… no one ever showed me that kind of… kindness.”

 

Shinji licked his lips.

 

“She made sure to tell me not to tell anyone. I mean, she said not many other people would understand. She admitted it looked a little weird, but she explained she liked me, so I believed her. It… it was all happening so fast, and I felt… okay, like really okay, the first time since I got here. And I liked her, too. I couldn't… I couldn't help it…”

 

He made himself breath.

 

“One day… it was after the fifth Angel… she called me after school and asked I come over to her house. I'd… I'd only been there once before, and… and she told me about my father that time, what he was like when she first met him. She said I reminded her of him a little. S-so, so, I went over. I… I even lied to Misato-san. I told her I was going to Touji's. She said Misato-san wouldn't…”

 

He swallowed thickly.

 

“When I got there she… told me she needed help with something. I immediately agreed. I mean, she'd been helping me so much, with homework, and showing me around the city, and taking extra time to explain stuff about the Eva… I couldn't say no. It never even entered my head. So she took me to her bedroom. She… she had this… adorable little cat plushie, just sitting on the middle of her bed. I thought… I really thought I was in…”

 

His words were halting now, more so, his hands fidgeting by his legs. His eyes were very blue and very wet.

 

“She kissed me for awhile… just… kissing. Then, after awhile, she laid back. And… and then she lifted up her skirt. I… I… I mean, it was… it was the first time I'd ever seen a woman. Not even in a picture, never before. She… she showed me what to do, and I… I did it for her.”

 

He shifted.

 

“I got home late, and Misato-san yelled at me a little. I… was a little confused, I guess. I never expected any girl to… but I also felt… proud. She told me I did a good job. That she felt good. I was in awe I could make someone feel good. And it felt… it felt nice. I mean, out of all the men in the world, out of everyone, she chose me. Me.”

 

“Shinji,” Asuka finally spoke. “She raped you.”

 

He looked away.

 

“It wasn't… I mean she never… forced—”

 

“Yes she did.”

 

“I…”

 

Asuka sighed.

 

“When did she stop telling you about your father?” she asked.

 

Shinji blinked, many times, as if he just realized that. He bit his lip, trying to put his thoughts in order.

 

“It was like a… a routine or something after awhile. I'd… do stuff for her, and then she'd talk to me. Not so much at first, but then, as things got more hectic with the attacks and all, and we had less time than before, and, and it was totally understandable that she didn't—”

 

“Shinji.” Sitting so close to him on the couch, Asuka saw how he flinched at the tone in her voice.

 

“… the last time she said anything about him was before that acid Angel, the one we all beat together.” His shoulders hung low. “After that she… I mean we just—”

 

“She just used you. She just raped you.”

 

Shinji's face threatened to break.

 

“… she was nice to me,” he whimpered.

 

“I want you to say it.” Asuka told him. “I want you to say she raped you.”

 

“Wh-why? I mean… what for?”

 

“It's important,” she told him. “Shinji, it's very important.”

 

He couldn't look her in the eye. He couldn't speak. He could not bring himself to say that. To say she hurt him like that. She wasn't just using him. She couldn't be. He refused to admit that, even to himself. If he did… if he told Asuka what she wanted him to say… then it would prove he truly was worthless. A pathetic weak little boy who never once stopped to realize he was being abused, or hurt. He needed the knowledge that he had made Ritsuko feel good, even if just for a moment. Even if it made him feel like he was dying inside.

 

“I…”

 

The front door to the apartment opened, and Misato came in. Both children jumped, and pushed away from one another on the couch, like they'd been feeling each other up. Asuka frowned.

 

“Hey kids! Sorry I'm so late. You wouldn't believe how much paperwork is required just for the Evas to cross the street.” She smiled. “What's up?”

 

“Nothing,” Shinji blurted out. He rose, swaying a little. “I should get dinner started, sorry.”

 

“No need!” The major held up several plastic bags in her hands. “I got take-out. Come on, who wants sandwiches?” She emptied the bags, spilling a few Styrofoam boxes across the kitchen table. “Come on. Don't let it get any colder than it already is.”

 

Shinji blinked.

 

“Oh… sure. Thank you.” He bit his lip. “Um, excuse me. I'll be right back.” The bathroom door shut behind him.

 

“Sure.” Misato eyed the young girl on the couch. “So… what were you two talking about?”

 

“None of your business,” Asuka said without thinking.

 

“It is my business. Everything that goes on in this house is my business. Everything that happens to… to both of you is my business.”

 

“You've done a bang-up job,” the redhead muttered.

 

Misato gave one of the chairs a vicious kick. It slammed into the table with a wooden crack.

 

“Watch your mouth, alright? Alright? Don't you ever say anything like that to me again. I'm his guardian, understand? Everything that happens to him, everything, is my responsibility. Mine. It's my fault he was raped. I wasn't doing my fucking job. I never, never thought—” Misato cut herself off, jamming her eyes shut. “There is nothing I can do…”

 

Asuka glanced away.

 

“He needs a therapist,” the redhead stated.

 

“I know,” Misato said, hushed. “The commander already decided that it would be a security risk.” She collapsed in the chair she kicked. “I don't know what to tell him… there's nothing I can do for him…”

 

“Son of a bitch,” Asuka said.

 

“So… come on. What were you talking about?”

 

“Jesus, Misato. Why do you… no, forget it. You want to know? He just spilled his guts about the first time the blonde bitch—” Bitch was a woefully underpowerful word for the emotions she conjured up “—the first time she made him touch her.” Asuka watched her guardian's face crumple. “Happy now?”

 

“God,” Misato coughed, covering her mouth. “Oh, God…”

 

Yeah, you drunken slut, Asuka thought at her. Try listening to the extended version. She sighed. I'm in way over my head.

 

Shinji emerged from the bathroom, looking pale and drawn. Asuka suspected he just threw up. Or chanted to himself a few hundred times.

 

“Everything okay?” he whispered. The two women failed to hear his quiet plea, but could guess what he had asked.

 

“Sure, sure!” Misato said. “Let's eat!”

 

The major told Shinji to pick first. He declined. She pressed lightly, telling him he should be eating more. He declined again. This went on until Asuka groaned and declared she would select first. It seemed to settle the argument.

 

Asuka poked her nose in a few boxes, then settled on a salad. The idea of eating meat right now was not appealing at all.

 

----------

 

“I just wanted to see them… one last time…”

 

Asuka had studied rape, in its various forms, ever since Shinji returned from the shadow Angel, the one that swallowed him whole. She remembered after the initial failed sortie, and after the commander lifted her suspension at the last possible moment, she was given a place at the transplanted command center, avidly listening as Ritsuko outlined her plan to murder Shinji with several hundred N2 mines. She watched Misato nearly throw her out into the shadow. She remembered laughing a little.

 

The redhead sought Rei out before the planned zero hour, finding her gazing out at the sea of black that was devouring the city. Her crimson eyes stayed on the ball of shadows.

 

“You better not fuck this up, First.”

 

That was all that needed to be said. So she watched, gripping the control yokes inside her Unit-02, listening to the jets scream closer to their appointed massacre sight. She was not afraid. She was not sad. She knew it would not end like this. It could not. Not until Asuka, or more likely Misato, murdered Ritsuko for Shinji. Not until she was dead. The Third Children was not allowed to die until that day passed.

 

But when Unti-01 tore itself free of the Angel, showering its berseker body and several city blocks with steaming blood, Asuka did not smile. She bore witness to the atrocity with anything but joy or peace. It made her, for the second time, frightened of him. He seemed to be growing, as a fighter, as a person. But not in a good way. He was devolving. If such a thing were possible.

 

She was there when Unit-01's hatch was opened, and Misato hugged him, openly weeping into his chest. Crying like tears on a teenage boy were going out of style. Damn that woman could be emotional some times.

 

“Just… one last time…”

 

Asuka quickly came to the conclusion that their respective guardian's increasingly manic moods were not benefiting either of them. Certainly not Shinji. So she began, quietly, secretly, to study rape. Certainly not a pleasant pastime, definitely not something she ever thought she'd be involved in. Despite her early fears of Shinji assaulting her. Those seemed… ironic now, sad. In any event, her research on the subject had been halted, and she only had herself to blame for it. She had become quite furious with several knowledgeable sources on the topic, due to their near lack of information on male victims. Asuka supposed her being banned from the library after she smashed in a terminal with her foot was fair, but it didn't stop her from cursing out the old bats that ran the place.

 

“Dumb old bitches.”

 

Not bitch, as in Ritsuko-class, no. Asuka could differentiate the degrees of the term “bitch” with inflection and situational context. Say, for instance, the First surpassed her in, snort a laugh please, anything. Asuka could call her a dirty brown-nosing bitch, and still turn right around and say to the blonde doctor a second later, “You sac-choking withered hag, I hope you fucking get impaled on the party end of my prog-knife and are carved in two from your dust-sucking split-lip to your ass-up retarded fake dye job and fucking die, you fucking bitch.” Which Asuka had tried to pass on to the woman on several occasions, despite the heavy security around her, and the girl's own shaky footing with her commanding officers. Bitches, all of them.

 

Similar, but not entirely related, rules governed her favorite word in the Japanese lexicon, the word she made sound just plain cool, baka. Idiot. She loved that word. It had become, through time, association, and his own amazing lack of ball strength, Shinji's little nickname. It could easily morph between the playful, tender “Won't you do my chores this week, or are you a baka?” to the livid, last step before physical abuse “Stop fucking defending that sandy bitch Akagi, you numb-fucking baka!”

 

Inflection and context. It was really the simplest thing in the world once one got the hang of it. Not that she was in the habit of cursing him out. Well, not anymore, at least. And it wasn't as if she was suddenly regretting every interaction she ever had with the timid boy either. It was simply that she had discovered a newfound ability to treat him with… well not kindness, per say, but a reasonable facsimile.

 

But once he had escaped from the Angel, once he was back home, and once he had shyly, awkwardly took her up on her offer to talk, Asuka came to the decision that she needed to put aside the barrier she had for so long held between the two of them. It wasn't a compromise as far as her pride was concerned, but she couldn't help but feel like she was lowering herself by speaking to him regarding such… intimate subjects. Despite her earlier assertion that she would. And her oft-cited maturity. It was just… Shinji was talking to her about… sex stuff. Like, really, really weird sex stuff. Then again, who else could he turn to?

 

I just wanted…

 

Not Misato. Asuka thought that might make things worse. Not the First, the cold little bitch. Not his father, the cold little bitch. Not his idiot friends, those perverts. The redhead found that she was, by elimination, the only person. The only person in the world he could talk to. It was, to her, at first flattering to think of that. Then he started to actually speak to her. The flattery, the inflated ego… they were quickly crushed under the weight of his words. How Ritsuko's advances became more perverse, more degrading, more humiliating. And how his own sense of self worth became tied to the praise he got for performing well. It was how fast it all happened that frightened Asuka so much. That he was so willing to abandon his individuality for a few empty words from the mouth of a debauched whore. The redhead felt her time with him was, in a way, an attempt to deprogram him, to help him forget the emotional devastation the doctor had put him through, filling his head with lies and manipulations.

 

… to see them…

 

Shinji had not bothered with school for some time. The teachers had long ago written the pilots a blank check regarding absences, and he finally decided to cash his. And it wasn't like Misato was on him about his truancy. If anything, the woman was encouraging it, at a complete loss with how to act around him now. Letting her charge do whatever he wished made a kind of sense, Asuka thought. So did lying to Hikari. The girl had been smart enough to drop the subject of Ikari after Asuka's furious shouts literally sent the brunette tumbling backwards out of her seat. A glare and a punch shut Aida and Suzahara up.

 

… one last time…

 

Shinji seemed so resigned now. Like he was living on borrowed time. He had carefully avoided telling her, or anyone else, what exactly happened during the time he was inside the Angel. After thinking about it, Asuka decided she didn't really want to know. She didn't want to know what he saw, what made him become a devil again. It was enough that he was back, and alive. It was enough Asuka was determined he stay here.

 

I just wanted to see them… one last time.

 

She was determined to make sure it was not the last time.

 

----------

 

Asuka sat cross-legged on her bed, pouring over one of the volumes on violent crimes she had managed to hold onto. It wasn't her first choice, but it would have to do. It explained, in extreme depth, the likely mindset of a sexual predator, including various cause-and-effect type relationships regarding their childhood and future crimes, even going so far as to attribute it all to something called “Post-Impact Sexual Aggression Disorder.”

 

Asuka frowned. Sympathy for the devil. She didn't want to know why. She didn't care. A crime had been committed and all that mattered was punishment to the guilty and aid to the victim. The redhead would not spare a moment of any emotion other than hate for the doctor.

 

She tossed the tome on the floor, and reached down for another. It was a psychological journal, which interviewed both predators and their prey. In all honesty, this kind of report was what she was basing her entire interaction with Shinji on. She tried to imitate the doctors conducting the sessions, hoping it would some how help the Third Children.

 

Her own reasons for helping him with such dedication and ardor stemmed somewhere from the fact that she had, in essence, brought the entire situation to light. That she claimed any honor or pride from that, no, not really. It was more a sense that she, like everyone else at NERV, had failed him. Repeatedly. Not that he was her responsibility, but the gravity of the event, the sheer weight and atrociousness of it had begun to sit heavily on her mind as he was trapped within the Angel. Asuka had no clue how she'd handle being violated like that. She prayed she would never have to. She just had no idea how he was coping, even with all their talks. He was so… internal.

 

He would probably want to talk again soon, like tomorrow, seeing as how his idiot best friend was being selected as a pilot. Asuka still couldn't believe that. Both Touji's candidacy as the Fourth, and the fact that Misato had let that one slip out during dinner the other night. The woman really needed to ease off on the liquor. The redhead was just thankful Shinji had already been asleep that night. Well, he'll have to face it eventually. Maybe she could tell him in the morning, gently, after Misato went to Matsushiro for the test. Maybe he'll take it well. Yeah, and then he can top it all off with another rousing “what stage of sexual perversity did Ritsuko cross next” dialogue.

 

Asuka sighed, lying back on her bed. She closed her eyes, and smiled faintly as she heard Shinji retire for the night. She could almost picture him in bed, adjusting his pillow and covers just so, as he stared at the ceiling. The idiot. She found herself drifting off, her last conscious thought, strangely enough, was the small blue shirt he wore to sleep.

 

Asuka'a eyes snapped open when Shinji's door slid open. It took a concentrated moment to remind herself where she was, and that no one could hurt him here. She calmed down. Probably just Misato saying goodnight. No big deal. Still, she stayed awake until she heard his door close. Now Misato's feet would pad to her room, and…

 

Silence met her expectant ears. What was Misato doing, just standing outside? Guarding him all night? With a groan of exhaustion, Asuka swung off her bed and slid her door wide.

 

The hall was empty. No Misato. Nothing.

 

“Uh… what?”

 

Then she heard the sheets on Shinji's bed rustle, and a weight dropping into it. Asuka went cold.

 

“She… wouldn't…”

 

The redhead snuck up to Shinji's Lovely Suite, waiting, the breath passing from her nose without any audible sound. She did not know how long she waited. A few minutes, an hour, the entire night? She came back to herself as her stomach decided to sound a nocturnal grumble. Then her hand was at the door. Then she was inching it open. Then she was letting her eyes adjust to the darkness. Then she saw Shinji asleep on his side, Misato curled behind him. Then her hands balled into angry fists.

 

“Bitch…” She went back to her own room. “Idiot.”

 

Misato was gone when Asuka woke up. Shinji still did not know the identity of the Fourth when she left for school.

 

----------

 

“So,” Ritsuko said, drumming her finger on the rail overlooking the test site at Matsushiro. Through the thick glass of the observation bridge she could see the dark profile of Unit-03. “Did you tell Shinji-kun? About the pilot?”

 

“No,” Misato said. “I did not.”

 

The major was fairly sure she would lose her job if she, perhaps, fed the business end of her trusty sidearm into the foul, reeking pit that had stolen Shinji's innocence. Fairly sure, but open to negotiations.

 

“Your concern is duly noted, Dr. Akagi,” Misato went on. “And if you ever feel the need to utter his name again in my presence I will personally make sure you disappear one day on the way back to your shitty little cell. And I further promise that it will take Section-2 twenty years after the last Angel is defeated to put all your pieces back together.” The major hummed. “So, anything else you feel like chatting about?”

 

“Just trying to make conversation,” the doctor said with a quick glance to the armed guards behind her.

 

“The next time the mood hits you, try striking up a dialogue with whatever filthy deity you scream at when you're trying to finish up fast so no one finds you with a child's dick up whatever disease-ridden orifice you happen to be keen on at the moment.”

 

The techs and the guards blushed. All of them. Even the grizzled vets who had seen melee combat during the nightmarish post-Impact wars and the one badass in security who claimed he shot a puppy. Intense, focused discomfort was a remarkable thing. That, and the fact that the tale of the infamous NERV doctor who had raped the only male pilot had spread to every military and para-military outfit in Japan. And to every other NERV branch on earth. Ritsuko had a hard time no matter where she went nowadays. But the dirty glances and veiled threats were only the tip of the iceberg. Misato was going to make sure of that.

 

“I have to know, Ritsu. Were you ever raped when you were fourteen and defenseless? By your dad, perhaps?” The major was proud she had remembered her father was a very sore topic. “Did he ever creep into your room late at night, maybe while your crackpot mom was out whoring herself to the top like she always did, and edge your door open, ever so slightly, letting the hall light you made sure he kept turned on just sort of spill onto your just awake form? Did he reek of gin and small boys, with his leathery hands and rough, razor wire body hair? Did he make you use butter, so he wouldn't have to aim properly? Did you love every fucking second of it?”

 

“You always had a vivid imagination.”

 

“Just trying to understand what would make a frigid bitch like you completely destroy the emotional stability of the most important boy on the face of the earth. Or did you think forcing your wrinkled carcass on him would give him a leg-up in the synch tests?”

 

“I wouldn't expect you to understand, Misato.”

 

“No, I wouldn't know anything about raping a fourteen year old.” She paused. “And don't you ever use my name again. I do understand a thing or two about how much pain the human body can endure. I'd love to show you some time.”

 

“Are you coming on to me? Your tastes always ran the deviant.”

 

“Nope. It would only be a waste of my time. I know you like them young. Young enough to be surprised by the first curly hair on their baby fat bodies.” Misato shrugged. “But I'm not here to judge. Whatever floats your boat, you pathetic, fat, fake blonde whore.” She scratched her nose.

 

“Um… m-major Katsuragi?” a very uncomfortable techie asked. “Th-the test is about to start, and, uh… we—”

 

“Great!” Misato clapped her hands together. “Let's get started. The sooner we get `old yeller' here back in chains the better. Hope you're enjoying the day pass old man Ikari gave you. It'll be your last. Oh, and how's shitting five inches from your bed going for you? Get a roomy cell, you filthy rapist?”

 

“The length makes me remember happier times this year.”

 

The only thing that stopped Misato from removing Ritsuko's tongue with her boot was the alarm that blared by her head. She had time to look at Unit-03 as its head opened and grew a mouth and teeth. Then the explosion made everything in her sight turn bright and loud.

 

----------

 

Asuka and Rei were down. The Angel, masquerading as a fellow Eva, was before him. The sun was setting behind it, casting the black giant in a hazy, unearthly aura. At the edges of his hearing he was made aware that the two other pilots were alive, but hurt. It suddenly struck him: he was alone. He was the last chance NERV had, or all would be lost. That humanity would be eradicated in the Third Impact, just like Asuka said. Shinji's hands relaxed on the controls. Would that be so bad?

 

Misato… Ritsuko… they both might be dead already. He had no way to know. Over the tac net techs were screaming at him, his father ordering him to fight, proximity sensors shrieking at him. He was only vaguely conscious when his palette rifle fell from his hands.

 

Unit-03 bent down awkwardly, displaying its back, and the partially exposed entry plug. The pilot, Shinji realized, was still inside it. A strange webbing seemed to be holding it fast. Then he felt hands on his throat. Not rough hands, like when Ritsuko touched him, or shaking hands, like when Misato touched him. These were hands with the sole intent to hurt him. To end him.

 

And then he felt something slam into his back. A mountainside. He could identify trees and a road and rocks grinding under his spine. He looked at his attacker. Its eyes burned red in the setting sun, its mouth hung open, blocky teeth sliding up and down in a grim mockery of a laugh.

 

“Shinji, why don't you fight?”

 

His father's voice, very far away, removed from the situation and its consequences, sitting atop the column in Central Dogma, questioning his actions. Central Dogma. Ritsuko had told him that was what it was called. He had no clue why it was called that, but found it conjuring images of great and important things within him. All directed by a great and important man.

 

But… it hurts, father. I do not want this.

 

He brought his left hand up, and pushed on his enemy's face. Its mouth snapped up and caught two of his fingers. It bit down, like a vice, and Shinji felt his left hand break in agony. He tried to scream, but his throat was too tight. He blinked. It was still choking him.

 

Pilot, he tried to say.

 

The pilot. He was still alive. It was his duty to save him. He was sure that was what everyone would want him to do, because they didn't want to die yet. No one else wanted to die yet. His right hand reached up, clawing over Unit-03's head. He tried to look, to guide his arm, but flashing black spots began dancing before him, colliding into each other until all he could see was a grasping emptiness. The void grew and covered his ears, too. The grinding of metal, the incremental popping of his neck muscles, the scraping of his spinal bones sliding out of place, all vanished. He heard and saw nothing. He was too busy feeling the Angel squeeze the life from him, crush his hand, make him feel the enormous weight of trying to stay alive.

 

Is this better than dying?

 

His tongue split his lips, lolling in a last attempt to take in air.

 

But they don't want to die.

 

And then he felt his throat collapse. It simply caved in. Like a deflating balloon. It hurt. Very much. But his right hand, it was gripping the plug now, digging through the webs, he knew it. And he pulled. He used all his pain, all his anger, all his hate and pulled. Then his hand flew up, but he could not feel if he still held the plug. The hands at his throat fell away, almost with a caress, but perhaps his neck had merely snapped in two. His head was spinning, falling, down, down into his lap, down to his feet, down, down, into an infinite and perfect darkness.

 

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End of chapter 2

 

 

Author notes: my reviewers… wow. You guys liked chapter one? I'll have to try harder to disgust you. And Mercaba-san… thanks for taking the time to read my fic. And not suing my ass. Tee-hee. I like your story, too. For those of you who don't know it, it's A Past to Forget. Go. Read. Now.

 

It's amazing what a single night of insomnia can accomplish. This is the result. I honestly thought Witness was going to be a one-shot when I wrote it but… the ideas, they kept coming out. That isn't necessarily a good thing. This chapter sucked. I know. And sorry about how freaking long it took me to post this. I had a minor creative crisis while I was editing. And by “minor” I mean “crippling.” I swear chapter three will be out soon. Well, I mean “soon.”

 

Unfortunately, due to the progression of the story and my own half-assed “ability,” it was inevitable that this fic would deviate from the point of view established in the first chapter. Sorry. This will remain, for the most part, an Asuka story, though the two other main characters, Shinji and Misato, will be getting a more prominent role soon.

 

Sorry about the weird pacing and structure of this chapter. It's a little confusing, I know. And… I apologize. This is not funny in the least. I just wanted to show, in this early stage, that Misato and Asuka are trying to mask their hate and frustration with the whole situation with poor jokes and bravado. It will not last.

 

Wait, I hear some of you saying. Shinji seemed awful… happy about his interactions with Ritsuko. Before you flame me for shoddy writing, I can explain. It's called denial. I imagine Shinji is well acquainted with it by now.

 

Speaking of my shoddy writing, I received a few well deserved criticisms regarding Ritsuko's portrayal and motivations. Admittedly, I'm taking some liberties with her character. Originally I considered an ACC to fill her role, but I ultimately decided the doctor would create more havoc, given her position within NERV. As for an actual explanation… I'll try hard to put it somewhere in the fic. If I fail, which I probably will, I'll include it in another author notes somewhere down the line.

 

Next time is Zeruel. I'm actually pretty proud of how the battle turns out. If you've read my other story, then you know I can't write action to save my life. But the fight against the fourteenth… not so bad, I think. I hope. Stay tuned.

 

… and sorry about the graphicness. And the long notes. And my own stupidity. Anonymous reviews are now available to sate my ego! See you soon.