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| "Witness" Reviews/Comments [ 90 ] | | Pages (6): [ 1 2 3 4 5 6 › » ] | Reviewed By: Pig Thing On: December 03, 2020 04:33 PST
Comment/Review:
To state the obvious, the darkest aspect of this whole debacle was
that once upon a time someone, somewhere, having conceived of it,
actually took the time to flesh out and write this horrid tale, and
then dump it into the already bottomless well of poison that is the
Internet. "Humans were pathetic. They were obscene. Childish.
Petty. Violent. Unrepentant. Selfish. Terrible. They didn't deserve
Instrumentality, the laying to rest all of the heart's woes, the
last step on the path to Godhood. Humans deserved pain and
suffering and agony and shame. Ritsuko knew without a shadow of
doubt the puppeteers behind the Impact deserved hell. She knew she
deserved it too. She knew he deserved it. " To paraphrase someone
wiser, "It's hard to light a candle, easy to curse the dark
instead". I don't have any real incentive to compliment you, but
there's just no words for how fucked up it is for Akagi to commit
such an atrocity in the first place, and when caught, double down
on her every offence for the sake of...what exactly? Pride? Also,
it's just so bizarre for her to complain about her lopsided love
affair with Gendo, when with Shinji, she could've had a healthier
relationship with no shortage of genuine affection from the boy. It
would've been with someone less than half her age, yes, but then
again, weirder things are a plenty in the world of Eva. Had she
forgone her abusive and insane power plays, the relationship
between Shinji and Ritsuko could've been a small but much needed
beacon of light in both of their lives. Instead, she turned it into
a disastrously poisonous mess that only served to deepen the
darkness of the world around them, the darkness which she then used
to rationalize her desire to see the world burn. "And suddenly,
Ritsuko had an attainable goal for the first time in years. If she
could break the Third Children, ensure his ability to move Unit-01
was lost, then God's judgment could not be stopped." If she truly
believed this, then why didn't she simply kill Shinji? The boy's
death would've been a much better way for her to reach the goal of
ensuring Shinji would never pilot again. You could've made a
compelling story detailing Nerv's attempts to mitigate the
situation, as well as the consequences of Ritsuko's martyrdom,
right up until the eventual Armageddon. So many potentially
interesting storylines to explore.
| Reviewed By: BukkakeNoJutsu On: January 19, 2012 17:50 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is a fairly bleak story, but very well-done | Reviewed By: BlackKnight789 On: October 31, 2007 07:53 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Wow. First off, I want to say that I hate angst pieces, simply because I guess I get some sort of sick satisfaction out of seeing others people's problems not work out well, like a proof of reality or something. That's why I put an 8 for enjoyment. It's a story I love to hate. Secondly, you are an incredible writer. I would love to read something on a slightly happier end of the spectrum, of even something as depressing as this, because you make it great. Your attention to detail, your subtlety, your choices of the changes made from NGE's storyline to your own were brilliant. And, as I said before, the quality is second to nothing. All-in-all, this story was so gross, so real, I had to have more. And especially the ending, which left so much in the air, just like the D&R film...just wow. Thanks for reading my ramblings.
| Reviewed By: awuyzaki [MediaMiner Member] On: May 14, 2007 00:28 PDT
Comment/Review:
your work really is good! but it just make's me sad...
| Reviewed By: Moana Hine On: September 11, 2006 15:48 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Good fic. Out with the next chapter!
| Reviewed By: Shinden [MediaMiner Member] On: September 05, 2006 02:31 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Thanks for the experience. Great story.
| Reviewed By: NotImportant On: July 09, 2006 22:00 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
An absolute MASTERPIECE! I admit it's dark, but the original NGE series never struck me as all that 'light'.
| Title: Wow...
Reviewed By: Naolin-san On: April 18, 2006 03:39 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Yeah. Just...wow. I wasn't expecting that, but then again, it really couldn't have ended any other way. Still, I feel...Eh. Like, I really wanted it to turn out alright, even though I knew it wouldn't. And even when I knew their roles had been reversed, I was hoping Asuka wouldn't do that, but it made so much sense, but...Eck. This review's going to be made up of loads of thought fragments, I'm warning you. Throughout the entire series, I thought the characters were messed up. It took the last couple episodes and the movie to show me how messed up. Reading this, I'd love to flame it, say everything should have ended happily, that Asuka should have come to terms with herself, that some from of conflict should be resolved. But then, if the ending was really happy, I'd also hate this story, just because. Though, after all that, you ended it the just about the same way as the series. Yours was darker, almost, just because of everything that happened, and that sense of loss. Loss of what? I've got no idea. Well, thanks for putting up with this rather odd review. I'm glad I stuck with the story, it's one of the best works I've read to date. And now, at 6:37 am, it's done. Kudos.
| Title: A little too similar?
Reviewed By: sedemihcrA [MediaMiner Member] On: April 11, 2006 09:06 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I enjoyed this chapter quite a bit though I think it felt a little rushed in comparison to your previous ones. Particularly the action sequences with the JSSDF. But I know action isn't your thing. I did really enjoy the ending although I thought the point of it was that Shinji was doing for Asuka what Rei had done for Shinji, thus I would have liked a longer instrumentality scene and something a little different after Third Impact. Maybe another go at the scene where Asuka pushes Shinji into the coffee maker, only this time inverted and twisted? I really enjoyed the opening of this chapter. Even though I could already tell the masturbation scene was coming, we got a nice look at Asuka's thought process of which I have always admired your representations. I think the real problem with the end is that if in fact Asuka was dictating Instrumentality as the previous scenes would indicate, her version of the world would be inherently different from Shinji's. I thought the added touch of Unit-01 standing there was nice and overall I enjoyed how you played it out the same way as the movies, it's just that I would have clarified who was really controling Instrumentality because up until that point I had assumed it was Asuka. The disconnected narrative through your Instrumentality scene made me think this. And honestly, considering the originality of the chapters before I was expecting a more drastic deviation all though I won't rage on you since it was in fact a mildly happy ending in the same twisted way that the original movies were. I also was intrigued how you pointed out that the characters weren't any better off than when they started, something I missed almost completely but I now take to be a lot more significant in terms of Anno's vision. Anyways, quibbles aside you've made another wonderful piece of fiction (somewhat) within the canon. I'm still waiting for a Shinji-Asuka angst piece from you, I know you say you're a Rei-Shinji guy yourself but, I swear, after this I sincerely believe you've got it in you! Good work. Amazing, good work.
| Title: Finally...
Reviewed By: MidnightCereal [MediaMiner Member] On: March 31, 2006 17:53 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
...an Eva story that has sex in it not just for the sake of having sex in it. Not that there's anything wrong with that, just glad to see that otherwise can be done, and exceptionally well. In the last chapter, I especially liked the scene with Asuka at Shinji's bedside, and how that compares to the orignal Death and Rebirth scene, roles reversed. Shinji used his actions to drive himself further into self-revulsion and outright rejects the idea of being an adult with sexual desires. In your story, Asuka has come to terms...very, very well. I loved the whole story, but I just felt that one scene was a particularly nice...ahem...touch. Great work.
| Title: sequel?
Reviewed By: NCanimefreak [MediaMiner Member] On: March 31, 2006 15:53 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
man i loved the story. it's one of the original EVA fics i've seen, lemon or not. the one problem i had with this story is that u ended it like the EVA movies and i hated that. I personally believe that u should at least add a chapter that shows asuka telling shinji how u feels about him. But still this was good dude. A+
| Reviewed By: djohnson [MediaMiner Member] On: March 30, 2006 20:50 PST
Comment/Review:
That's not really true nov, even Misato used him. At first, she really seemed like she cared for him, but her moral outrage at Ritsuko, followed by her incredibly retarded plan to use sex (because that's obviously something a rape victim wants, more sex) just screwed up everything.
| Reviewed By: nov shmoz ka pop On: March 29, 2006 02:01 PST
Comment/Review:
No one cared for him? Not so; in this story, at least, there was someone who genuinely loved him: Misato. She genuinely cared about him, though it was far too little, far too late, to bring him back from the edge. I was half expecting an ending with Shinji and Ritsuko together on the beach, though.
| Title: Very good story, disappointing end
Reviewed By: djohnson [MediaMiner Member] On: March 28, 2006 22:17 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Very great story. The angst and characters were very well written. I only have a problem with the ending of the last chapter. It made no sense, and seemed kind of like an attempt to make the story end on a slightly happy note. Shinji choosing to stop HIP made no sense in this story. In the series, Shinji had a reason to stop Instrumentality. There were people who cared for him, and he could realize that a large part of the problems in his life came from his reluctance to be hurt. But in this story, there was no reason to stop Instrumentality. There was no one who legitimately cared for him, and his pain was not the result of him being too indrawn and afraid to take risks. In fact, the cause of his problems was him reaching out and trying to learn about his father. So, this ending really didn't make sense to me. But, that is a small dig against an otherwise great story. The disgusting detail, and constant plot twists made this a great darkfic. Thank you for this story, and I would like to read more of your writing.
| Reviewed By: urmom On: March 28, 2006 20:07 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
I have to say that the last chapter seemed very... Half assed. It was almost devoid of any of the graphic detail or angst that made the rest of the story very good. While I was very dissappointed with the last chapter I was impressed by the rest.
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