Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ Witness ❯ Chapter 7 ( Chapter 7 )

Witness chapter 7

 

Adam Kadmon

 

Disclaimer: I do not own Eva.

 

Welcome to the final installment of me making Shinji's life a living hell. Hope you've enjoyed the ride. We've had a few laughs, a few tears, and maybe even a little vomit. Thanks for supporting my sick little efforts. Or, if you hated this story, thanks for cursing my pen name and hoping I rot in hell. Both are appreciated.

 

Warning: like past chapters, this contains graphic sexuality, violence, and harsh language. All the things needed for an End fic.

 

 

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Shinji breathed in and out, a slight pause between every breath. A machine registered each beat of his weathered heart, each moment he remained alive. An IV dripped above his left arm, sluicing nutrients into him. The hospital gown he wore was boxy and stiff, and cords snaked out from the neck. The sheets ended at his waist. His right arm was under it. His eyes were closed. His mouth was parted, only a hair. She wondered if he was dreaming.

 

“Hey, Shinji,” Asuka said. “I finally managed to get in here. Misato was out, something about a computer virus or something. I don't know. I didn't stick around to see what everyone was so worried about. I think a couple alarms were going off.”

 

She sat on a chair pulled close to his bed. Her knees brushed his sheets.

 

“I haven't seen Kaji-san in like, ages. I thought at least he'd congratulate me on killing the last Angel. It's weird. Nobody said anything. I mean, come on, right? We should be popping champagne and throwing a party. And despite your lazy ass you're a part of this victory too. So wake up, already.” Asuka flipped up the cover and sought out his hand. “Come on, you idiot.”

 

Her fingers twined with his. She ignored the clip on his index finger. She ignored the phantom sensation of the Fifth's mangled body crushed into her palm. She ignored the fact that Shinji did not respond when she touched him.

 

“You're an idiot. But that's what I… I guess that's why I…”

 

She stopped, pursing her lips. When she spoke again, it was a dangerous whisper.

 

“You're an idiot, you really are, but…”

 

She inhaled sharply.

 

“But I like you.”

 

She observed him.

 

“God, if that doesn't wake you up… what? You looking for a kiss, sleeping beauty?” Asuka leaned forward, then sat back down. “Well, dream on. I want you awake for that so I can watch you pass out.”

 

She listened to the IV drip.

 

“Come on, I'm getting bored just waiting around. What? You want me to beg? Sorry. Soryu Asuka Langley doesn't beg. Not even to the great Shinji-sama. Not even if—”

 

you had your hands between my legs.

 

She sighed.

 

Last night. God, last night she had ached for him. Literally ached. Touching herself while Hikari and her family were out at school for the day wasn't enough anymore. She wanted him. To do those awful, wonderful things to her again. She'd tried hard to replicate the patterns and rhythms he'd used on her, but it was all an exercise in futility. Even shutting her eyes and picturing him there with her did nothing. She wanted his touch, his smell… him.

 

She had forgotten when she had made herself realize that. The last few weeks were all a messy blur. Like she'd been binge drinking. Asuka had heard enough of Misato's tales to imagine that was what it was like. God damn Misato. Who knows what she made Shinji do after she ran away.

 

She thought she had staked her claim rather obviously. Shinji was hers. Maybe not in the traditional sense, but enough to give caution to the unwary. He belonged to Asuka. Him and all ten of his little helpers.

 

She sighed again.

 

The thought, the very notion, no matter how vague it might be, of Shinji doing to Misato what he did to her… it made Asuka sick. Physically ill. She was sure that slut had been blackmailing him somehow, using some underhanded emotional gambit that enslaved Shinji and made him perform on her. Just like Ritsuko had. But not like Asuka. He had offered to do it to her, without her asking. He had given it to her.

 

Asuka wasn't stupid. She was well aware that her new affection and self-stated ownership of Ikari Shinji was based solely on the fact that he made her run like a faucet. She didn't hold any illusions. She recalled, with a cringe, how furious she had been that night. She remembered hitting him, infuriated by the mere notion that she and the blonde doctor had anything in common. But… it wasn't true, right? She never promised to talk to his father for him in exchange for sex, right? She wasn't a despicable pedophile, right?

 

No. Of course not. It was perfectly normal and acceptable to be aroused by him, to want him. To want him to… well maybe not do everything, not right away. To tell the truth, the sight of her own blood always made Asuka a little ill. And pain. She had never dealt well with that, either. And when a single act promised both of them together, not to mention the fact that it was just plain dirty, and—

 

Asuka took a breath to steady herself.

 

Stop it. Don't think about all that right now. I mean… he didn't even want me to do anything to him. It was like… he was giving me something, without any expectation of getting anything in return.

 

She pondered that for a minute, trying to recall that day in his room. She remembered hugging him for some reason, that in itself was curious enough, and then…

 

Her memories of what happened next were all piled together, as if in a race with each other to win her attention. It was difficult to pick out any one moment, they were moving so fast. She had protested, she thought. She thought she remembered that. It was just such a shock, out of the blue like that. Both that he touched her and that it felt good.

 

Sure she had teased him before, it was impossible not to, but she never once seriously entertained the thought of being intimate with him. He was a joke to her, a bumbling klutz with enough hang-ups to fill a closet, a loser whose sole redeeming quality was his fluke of nature ability to pilot. He was a child.

 

But in the months after the twelfth she saw a different side to him. He was still a child in her eyes, but he was a child she could understand. She could almost see herself when she looked in his eyes. The child she might have been if she was a weaker human being.

 

The circumstances of their lives were remarkably similar, and yet outwardly they were such different individuals. Asuka felt that was the deciding factor in her original treatment of the boy. She couldn't admit they were similar, that she had anything in common with such a person, so she decided to belittle him. It fit the anger he caused in her, and supplied her with a perpetual source of ammunition against him. But it would infuriate her too, because she knew she was being dishonest. She and Shinji were different reflections of the same past.

 

But more to the point, they both piloted, not for the good of mankind or any other such vague notion, but for themselves. Despite the fact three billion lives were resting on their shoulders, they could care less. They fought to sort out their own personal difficulties, regardless of those around them. They were more alike than she dared admit.

 

That was the reason she merely beat him bloody instead of killing him outright for touching her. Before, in the months preceding the fifteenth but after the twelfth, Asuka had grown close to Shinji. To the point where she nearly considered him a genuine friend. Allowing herself to become so emotionally intimate with him only compounded the similarities she found between them. She needed to keep their contact, to see where the parallels ended.

 

But she didn't need him. She didn't need anyone. Wanting someone was an entirely different matter.

 

It was akin to the harmless crush she had on Kaji. It was a safety, something to fall back on whenever she wanted to be taken seriously by adults or her peers. It kept others at bay because it gave them a realistic excuse as to why she was off limits for them. It made her safely forbidden. Her entire persona was in some ways a front to keep herself separated from others.

 

It was usually foolproof. But then again Shinji was no ordinary fool. He was insidious, worming his way into other peoples' hearts, forcing compassion and sympathy from everyone around him without cause or concern to the walls they had so carefully built. It was his fault she started caring again. His fault her ability to pilot was passed over, his fault she was finally growing up. She hated him for it. She hated him for forcing her to abandon the security of her murky agelessness, to at long last become what she despised. Adults were pathetic. They were horrid and obscene. They were disgusting and revolting.

 

They were strong. They were independent. They needed no one but themselves. They were the disillusionment of childhood anxieties and failings. They were free. Free to pursue their wants without judgment, without worry, without recrimination. They could do whatever they wanted, with whoever they chose. And now Asuka was one of them. Not just in intellect anymore, but in physicality as well. And for that she was forever grateful to Shinji.

 

She knew he would never be as handsome or debonair as Kaji, but he was readily available to her. It wasn't love. It wasn't even close. It wasn't even close to a crush, but it would serve her needs. Specifically, her need to revisit that day. That day he made her pant and scream and—

 

Asuka blinked. When had she started doing that? Lately her hands had a mind of their own.

 

God, I'm such a pervert.

 

It was no longer her hand under her dress. It was his. His long, practiced fingers slipping along her sex, producing the desired sensations and a low, feral hum from her throat.

 

She knew it was wrong. She knew it. And she didn't care. Not at all. The Angels were all dead, she was a hero, and everyone was acting like she just fucked up and was bearing the commander's love child. Why the hell couldn't anyone be happy around here? It was over, people. Hip-hoorah. The world was all good again, and Asuka's life was back on track. Out with the old, in with the new. She couldn't imagine Unit-02 or NERV being of any real use now, and that meant that she too was obsolete. It was something she always tried hard to ignore, to not think about what would happen once the battles stopped, once the world was safe. A part of her wished the Angels would keep coming, forever challenging her.

 

But looking at how utterly broken Shinji was that part of her died a little. It could very well be her in that bed.

 

So, she simply needed a new focus for her life. She was smart. She knew that. And a hero. Certainly no doors would be closed to her. But all that was on the back burner right now. Because she had finally discovered sex, and the person who could make her enjoy it.

 

It was unsettlingly comfortable how easy it was to admit it now that he couldn't react at all.

 

“Sh-Shinji,” she bit out from behind clenched teeth.

 

She knew her own fingers were smaller than his, but in her mind she made them bigger, made the nails shorter, made the skin a little rougher. Her own motions felt stiff and awkward to her, but in her mind she made them glide along her skin, giving every little nerve ending a heart attack. He was right there, touching her again, just like he had all those weeks ago, touching her the same way he did when she had her first.

 

Her free hand clutched his unresponsive shoulder.

 

“Sh-Shinji…”

 

She panted openly, not giving a damn, not knowing about the camera hidden by the light in the ceiling.

 

Maybe… this time… if he was close enough…

 

If there was one thing she was skilled at, it was ignoring reality. Asuka did not think about leaving this wretched city, or murdering Ritsuko, or returning to her homeland, or the victory parade she was owed, or murdering Misato, or murdering Nagisa, or the end of her piloting days, or even the dismal outlook the doctors gave Shinji. The only thing her mind skittered across were the few things that made her wet.

 

Shinji's skill with his hands. Horseback riding. The small of a man's back, clenched hard. Kaji's grin. Kaji's scent. Riding in Misato's car over the bumpy section of Tokyo-3. Victory over others, in any field. The sea air.

 

Asuka gasped, her voice unfamiliar with desire. She pulled her underwear to the side and let her middle finger slide inside her. She cupped her hand into a bowl, her thumb brushing against her emerging clitoris.

 

This time… this…

 

Asuka didn't know how long she sat there, legs spread, fingers working. She was in the moment. Here. Now. Alive.

 

… time…

 

Her toes curled inside her shoes, and her knees snapped together. Her back arched in her chair, making it scrape along the floor.

 

This time… this time…

 

Thistimethistimethistimethistimethistimethistimethistimethistimet histimethistimethistimethistimethistimethistimethistimethistimethistimethis

 

“Sh… Shinji… Sh… God!”

 

Asuka jerked in her seat, gritting her teeth. She shut her eyes so hard they burned in pain, and his shoulder became the receptacle for her nails. Her body jerked out on each contraction, until she felt like her legs were going to melt down into her socks. She finished with a long, hard sigh, which ended up sounding more like a growl.

 

God.

 

“God, Shinji.”

 

Then the door opened behind her.

 

God, why didn't she lock the door?

 

Asuka waited, catching her breath, deciding herself that she had earned the right to do whatever she damn well chose. Misato thought otherwise.

 

“I… I will pray that I can forget this scene.”

 

She heard the major's hands clench into fists. Hate permeated the humid room.

 

“This is beyond sick, Asuka. You're worse than Ritsuko.”

 

A cheap shot, both knew, but it served its purpose. It took the major a concentrated moment to stop her hand from drawing her gun and emptying Asuka's brains all over Shinji's sheets. He probably wouldn't wake up to see it, but the fear was still there. That and the Japanese military had decided to give her something bigger to worry about.

 

“We need you,” Misato said, filled with disgust. “The JSSDF is almost certainly going to attack us now, and Rei is AWOL, or dead. You have to hold them back. If you don't, if you fail, everyone will die. Shinji will die.”

 

Behind her, NERV guards appeared in the doorway, looking anywhere but at the girl by the comatose boy. The major went on.

 

“Shinji is going in Unit-01. It's the safest place for him now. I doubt he'll be able to help you though.” Her tone plainly accused the redhead that she was to blame for this entire mess. From her charge being in a coma, to the Japanese military invading NERV. “You up to it? Not too tired from your pathetic little session?”

 

Asuka felt the familiar rush of pre-battle adrenaline rush through her.

 

“I'll beat every idiot that tries to hurt me,” the redhead said. “No one, no one will get past me. So don't wet your panties when the first bomb drops. Unit-02 will destroy all my enemies.”

 

Misato was not impressed.

 

“Then do it. This isn't going to be a fucking cake walk. These are trained army personnel, ready to kill every living thing in here. They won't be an easy victory.” The major smirked. “This isn't going to be a defenseless little boy who hops into your hands. Not this time. You'll have to work for it. Hope you can do it without Shinji holding your hand the whole way. I hope you have the guts to kill real people.”

 

“I will destroy all my enemies.”

 

“Then do it.” Misato moved aside, and the guards began prepping the Third Children for transport. He was lifeless in their hands. It only took one of them to lift him.

 

“We're ready, ma'am.”

 

“Let's move.” Misato frowned at the small puddle on the floor. “And for God's sake, Asuka… wash your hands.”

 

---------

 

The first N2 mine dropped just as Misato reached the bridge. Even with the absorption dampers on full the major nearly fell on her face. She managed to make it to Hyuuga's chair, and gripped the headrest for balance.

 

“Report!” she barked.

 

“We're totally exposed!” Hyuuga shouted back. “The blast completely opened the Geofront!”

 

The floors shook again as a hail of missiles blanketed the earth above Central Dogma.

 

“Ma'am,” Aoba yelled. “Unit-02 is away. It's under the lake in the Geofront. You were right. Putting her on the surface would only waste time. They spotted her, but, well, see for yourself.”

 

The main screen showed the red mech plowing a battleship into a battalion of tanks. Asuka then leapt on a mobile rocket launcher, right before the monitor blinked out. Far below, at one of the junctions that led into NERV's glorified coat room, black suited soldiers started pouring into Central Dogma. The lower level techs died in a hail of gunfire and screams.

 

“Shit,” Misato said. She brought her weapon to bear, hopping up next to Aoba's desk, angling for a clean shot. She pulled three off in quick succession, aware of the long-haired tech at her side pulling out his own semi-automatic rifle. He divided his time between monitoring his post and halting the wave of soldiers.

 

“Major!” Hyuuga shouted, reloading his pistol. “Sections 7-A through 9-D are lost!” He looked at the major, waiting for instruction.

 

“Flood the halls with Bakelite. Slow them down, at least a little.”

 

The personal lift to the command tower activated, and Fuyutsuki stepped out to Misato's level a breath later.

 

“Where's the commander?” she yelled.

 

“I don't know,” he lied. His eyes found Ritsuko by the wall, still under guard. She was, he mused, strangely unconcerned with the nightmare surrounding her. She had been in a kind of daze ever since they released her to save the MAGI.

 

“No!” Maya cringed as a bullet whizzed by her head. She ducked down in her seat. “Asuka's power cord was hit! She's got five minutes of active time remaining!”

 

“Plenty of time.”

 

Systematically, methodically, the JSSDF forces were being annihilated, and the survivors were falling back into the hills.

 

“Just a momentary setback,” Misato murmured. She drew a bead on one gung ho soldier and neatly shot through his left eye. “Unit-01's status?”

 

“Nothing! Not even 1% synch ratio!” Maya shook her head. “Its not even accepting the start-up commands! It's stuck in the hanger!”

 

“What?”

 

“One of the attacks, or something… the catapult from cage three is destroyed. Unit-01 can't get to the surface!”

 

“Ritsuko!” the major shouted. The doctor was standing near the MAGI, her hands in her pockets. She seemed very much at peace. “We need your help! Don't just stand there!” The doctor did not respond. “Ritsuko!”

 

“It doesn't matter,” she said, smiling. “None of it matters, now. Every one of us is going to die today, one way or the other. Goodbye, Misato.” She calmly pressed the button on the console in her hand that would self-destruct NERV. She was surprised when a moment later Misato shoved her against the wall.

 

“Help us, damn it!”

 

Ritsuko held no illusions. She knew she was going to hell. That her eternal damnation was to be her former best friend assaulting her, seemed, after a moment's thought, fitting. Her only regret was not seeing Gendo when his plan literally blew up in his face.

 

“Ritsuko!”

 

A shot rang against the MAGI frame. The doctor blinked. Impossible. There was no way. She tore the remote from her coat. Casper blinked back at her, denying her revenge. She fell to her knees, shaking the device.

 

“Mother…? How could you choose him? How… how…?”

 

Misato gave up. If the bitch wanted to pitter the last few seconds of her life blathering to her dead mom fine. Just as long as she was cognizant enough to see the major right before she emptied her clip into her face.

 

“Nine aircraft approaching from the north!” Hyuuga reported. “Identifying… they're… Eva transports? Nine!” He rechecked the confirmation signals. “God! Nine!?”

 

“The mass produced series,” Fuyutsuki muttered. He hoped Gendo was hurrying.

 

“Asuka!” Misato barked. “Heads up. Time for a real challenge. You're up against nine Evas, all state of the art, looking for a quick kill. You up to it?”

 

“Always, major.” She heard the confident smirk in her voice. “Keep Shinji warm for me, old lady.”

 

“You can celebrate with your hand when you come back. I'll be dead before you see him again.”

 

“I'm going to be busy today, then.” Asuka's tone changed gears. It was time for business. The crew in Central Dogma could not see, but clearly heard Unit-02 rip through the first enemy Evangelion. A faint spraying sound colored her next transmission. “Erste! Hear that? My greatest moment! When I finally save your asses on my own!” She cackled. “Come on, you white rejects. I'll make sure to show Shinji your rotting corpses!”

 

A fresh hail of gunfire from the JSSDF soldiers made Misato duck. She got off a few more rounds, making sure she had at least a half dozen or so left for Ritsuko. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Aoba toss a pistol to a quivering Maya.

 

“It's kill or die!” the tech shouted at her.

 

Misato agreed. She shot an armor clad soldier in the knee, and watched him collapse in agony. She leisurely lined up her sight with his exposed neck, and ended his life in a spray of crimson. But a sense of inevitability marred any hope she had, even watching the surviving soldiers falter and regroup. Even if Asuka succeeded, even if she and the remaining NERV personnel managed to hang on… it was only a matter of time before the government resorted to extreme measures. They still had a few hundred N2 mines at their disposal.

 

Misato blinked. Why hadn't they done that to begin with? For the first time in years, she wished Kaji was around. He probably knew what the hell was really going on. Did the Japanese brass and higher-ups want the Evas intact? The MAGI? That white giant in NERV's bowels? What?

 

As she emptied her third clip into a straggling JSSDF trooper, Misato decided it didn't really matter. Not when you were fighting for your life. But this was NERV's last day, she thought. She didn't feel any sadness, or fear, or hate. Just a sustained sense of certainty. And the hope that she would find herself alive at the end of it.

 

Herself, and Shinji.

 

“Shit,” she muttered as her gun ran empty again. She reloaded without haste. Even as bullets whizzed past her face. It was all like a dream. A nightmare. And she couldn't wake up.

 

“Major!” Hyuuga pulled her down as a flock of bullets sailed over her head from the left. “Careful!”

 

Misato crouched behind his terminal, clearing her head. She glanced down at her weapon, and found her cross pendant swinging freely around her neck. She watched it sway slightly, matching the ragged breaths she took. It suddenly felt incredibly heavy.

 

Dad. Is this it? The Angels are dead, just like I swore. Have I made it up to you yet? She thought of Shinji. Have I made your sacrifice worth it?

 

A shot connected with the console above her, spraying her shoulder with hot shards of plastic. Misato stood, and aimed, and ended another life. Over the tac net Asuka tore apart another foe. Death was the only way they would stop now.

 

Shinji.

 

Amidst all the confusion and chaos, no one noticed when Unit-01 quietly activated.

 

---------

 

Shinji.

 

I hate that name. I hate what it represents. Because I hate myself. I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it wake up I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate you must not die I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself do not die Oh God! Why did I do that!? Stop it! Stop it!!! God just let me die this time! Please! Please please I am so tired I just can't wake up, Ikari-kun I want to end it all I want to sleep I want make everything stop hurting I want my pain to vanish wake up I do not want this I want to break apart and scatter I do not want to keep living like this I can't take it I can't do it I can't

 

please wake up

 

I can't do this anymore our bright future I can't do this anymore I can't wake up, Shinji do this anymore I can't take it I can't take it good names I can't take it I can't take it I can't take it I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't open your eyes I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die wake up I want to die I want to die I want to

 

wake up, my son

 

Wake up now.

 

---------

 

“Release your AT-field, Rei. Take me to Yui.”

 

Gendo held up the crippled First Children with a single hand, as he used his teeth to slip the white glove from his right hand. His palm rested on the pale girl's breast for just a moment, before letting it sink deep within her. He felt no remorse or sympathy as Rei cringed in pain when his hand slipped down above her stomach. He felt nothing for her, save a slight giddiness that was eating the back of his mind.

 

Yui.

 

He could clearly hear the sounds of battle far above his head, and idly wondered if the Second was doing her job, or if she had already been silenced. Not that it mattered in the least. Soon, painfully soon, it would all be over. Soon those old fools in SEELE would be watching as he reunited with his wife.

 

Yui.

 

Soon she would be free of her prison, and then nothing would part them again. They would have all of eternity for each other, and no one, not even God would be able to separate them. The sacrifice, the pain, the loneliness, soon all of it would be forgotten and Gendo would be at peace. An eternal, everlasting serenity.

 

Yui.

 

He dug his nails through Rei's intestines, wrapping around a small, red sphere. He knew by memory where it was inside her, and now found himself pausing for a breath, perhaps for some unknown, unbidden sense of austerity, or drama. It was the last thing he remembered regretting.

 

Somehow, Gendo was not surprised in the least when Unit-01 broke through the wall at his left, and waded through the LCL to the bridge they were on. It was too late to run. His hand was firmly entrenched within Rei. His feet knew they would never outrun the beast. He prided himself briefly that his bowels remained as stony as ever. He stared up into the pulsing green eyes.

 

“Hello, Yui.”

 

Unit-01 smiled at him, showing its teeth.

 

A purple hand swam down to the two on the bridge, spreading its fingers wide. They were clawed, curling in like talons. Like the weapons of some terrible bird of prey. The commander of NERV, in that moment, lost any feelings of ever being a predator.

 

Gendo glanced at Rei. She was staring up at the Evangelion, her face wearing a smile of absolute ecstasy. She raised her one good arm in a silent embrace to his son, Shinji, right before it separated from her shoulder, and fell to his feet. She did not notice. Her smile remained in place as the Eva's jaw opened.

 

Ikari Gendo almost laughed at the absurdity of it all.

 

Unit-01 would have its S2 organ after all.

 

---------

 

The white Evangelion fell backwards, the giant blade it had previously wielded now sunk deep into its chest. Its eyeless head flopped in two fleshy folds, its brains curdling out over its back.

 

“Number four!”

 

Asuka showed her teeth as she turned to the next recipient of her hate, a mecha trying to catch her off guard from her left. She snapped out the last few segments of her abused prog knife and swung around, burying the small weapon into its skull, pinning its jaw to its chest. The white Eva faltered a moment, before Asuka decided to send it on its way with a round house kick. The force of her heel drove the handle of the knife down, deep inside her foe. Her enemy collapsed.

 

“Five! Who's next!?”

 

Lucky number six was on her left, barreling to her position using its blade like a jousting pole.

 

Asuka pivoted without conscious thought, ramming her fist into her foe's shoulder as it flew by, forcing the blade from its hands. She kicked it to her own waiting hands and swung it over her head. She brought it down with a howl, cleaving its white legs off. Its body continued forward on its momentum, crashing into an abandoned building.

 

“Still alive?”

 

Asuka leapt onto it, finding a giddy thrill as she chopped it in half, from mouth to crotch. She felt the hot blood spray out over her. As she was savoring its humiliating demise, her radar blinked behind her. She glanced at her power display.

 

Fourty-three seconds until death. Three units remained.

 

Plenty of time.

 

The last three drew together, two starting forward to meet her charge, while the third fell back, attempting to flank her right.

 

Good fucking luck, dipshit.

 

Asuka dropped to her hands and knees, and fired off every needle bullet housed in her shoulder fins. The two rushing up at her tumbled in a heap of limbs and blood, plowing up the hill, stopping at her feet. They weren't dead, but they wouldn't have the chance to retaliate. Asuka stood on their necks, feeling their spines on her heels. She hefted up one of their blades, and twisted to watch the last stomp over to her.

 

Twenty seconds.

 

“Come on!” She was grinning, incensed. “Come on! I've wasted all day on your pathetic little attack. You pilots are nothing but brain-dead apes!” Asuka threw her body back, readying her strike on her last foe. “You're all insults to my skill! How dare you dirty my Unit-02 with your bitch's blood!” Her eyes flashed. “Come on!!”

 

Asuka.

 

The Second Children spun around in her seat. Who the hell just said that?

 

Then the world exploded.

 

NERV's pyramidal face on the Geofront's floor vanished in a pillar of light. It lengthened and split in half, two great, horrible wings that flapped and killed the blue sky. A hellish light spread over the entire Geofront, and a demonic roar echoed off its walls. A shudder ran over the ground, making the earth ripple.

 

Asuka fell, forced on her backside from the blast. The last white Eva landed beside her.

 

Five seconds.

 

Her enemy crawled up, and passed over her. The two at her feet rose and spread their wings. All over her theatre of war, the Evas she had defeated reactivated, and headed to what was rising out of the shattered remains of NERV.

 

The last thing Asuka saw before her internal battery ran out was a column of light, a swirling mass of power.

 

Unit-01 had arrived on the battlefield.

 

---------

 

It took Asuka almost thirty seconds to remember her entry plug had its own independent power source. It allowed her to eject and drain the LCL. She kicked open the hatch, swearing at the heat. The plug was in an awkward position, shooting into the air at a sixty degree angle. Asuka hung out the edge, squinting against the flying dust and wind.

 

“Oh, God.”

 

Unit-01, Shinji, was in the sky, four burning wings springing from its back in a cross. The wings were beautiful, bright golden things that curled like fingers through the air, burning away color and leaving shimmering after-images. They were intricately decorated with archaic symbols and strange signs. They seemed to grow long like streams of water, like rays of light.

 

The nine white Evangelions Asuka defeated floated around Unit-01. They were all carrying grey Spears now, and skewered the purple mech through its hands and arms. It was struggling against the attack, its mouth hanging open in a howl of pain.

 

Hovering in a strange pattern the nine white Evangelions began to glow. Their necks bulged under a tremendous force, and their mouths turned inside out. The tongues swelled to grotesque proportions, and faces appeared on the grey flesh.

 

Ikari Shinji's smiling face stared down at her nine times.

 

With a monumental effort Unit-01 tore its hands free of the Spears and reached out for one of the white Evas. It split its skull apart with its mangled fingers. Blood and brains and eyes and teeth exploded out in every direction, showering the earth in a thick sheet of gore.

 

“God.”

 

The mass produced series flew apart, and the purple Eva launched itself at the nearest one. The two tangled in a heap of metal shod limbs, teeth and nails tearing at one another. It was when Unit-01 tore one of the false Shinji's eyes off the other white Evas descended to aid their comrade.

 

Assaulted on all sides, Unit-01 flailed wildly, a frenzy of pain and rage as Spears dug into its body. Blood rained from the pile, nothing but an orgiastic heap of tearing and biting and clawing. It was impossible to tell where one ended and the next began. Fingers pried armor from soft flesh, teeth tore into corded muscle, hands pulled insides out. The purple Eva threw death in every direction, and its enemies took it all with grotesque grins.

 

The white units were careful with the blows they dealt. Enough to cause pain, never enough to kill. They were holding back for some reason Asuka couldn't fathom. She realized they had been toying with her too, and the thought made her burn with fury.

 

As a Spear penetrated its stomach Unit-01 finally faltered in its hate, and its wings dissolved into wisps of light.

 

They fell. The purple and white Evangelions, colored bloody fell from the sky. They plummeted as a single entity, down into the black hole Unit-01 had erupted from.

 

“God.”

 

Asuka swore. This wasn't fair. This was not fair. They weren't supposed to die now, now that the Angels were dead, now that their duties had been completed. To survive all they went through, simply to be killed by humans… it was a disgrace. The danger of death was always present for her, but it was never a reality. She knew she would never die. Life was a given. As long as she was a pilot.

 

But Unit-02 was useless to her now. It was nothing but an overgrown paper weight without power. She could do nothing but watch from her plug, waiting for the victor to emerge from the earth. Even with Shinji's berserker violence, she was not betting on him. There were just too many of them to handle by himself. He wasn't trained for this sort of thing. If it was still him piloting that monster.

 

She was cut off from Central Dogma, too. Short of traversing the Geofront on foot and hoping to avoid a run in with any surviving military personnel from the legions she slaughtered, she was stranded. She swore again.

 

The sounds of battle had nearly died completely. The hole the units fell into was acting as a kind of megaphone, and every now and then Asuka could make out snarls, or snaps, or clangs. Soon those too faded, and a deathly silence descended over the Geofront.

 

Battle's over, she thought. She awaited the triumphant party with a soldier's stolid determination. She did not allow herself the luxury of hope.

 

A heartbeat suddenly throbbed in her ears, so loud it threatened to pierce her eardrums.

 

Asuka.

 

She started. Who the hell kept saying—

 

Asuka. Do you want to die with me?

 

She felt her sometimes tenuous grip on sanity slipping. The air around her seemed to thin and then vanish, and she gasped for breath.

 

Do you want to die and be free?

 

She slammed her hands over her ears. She was not hearing voices. This was not happening to her.

 

Let's just die.

 

She could feel something coming. Her hair stood on end. Instincts she did not know she possessed screamed in her ears. She watched in horror as the hole within the Geofront became white, pure untainted white. It slowly began to take shape, a giant ridge rising from the earth. It rose in a slow crawl, and soon Asuka could see what it truly was.

 

The armor plate covering an Evangelion's entry plug.

 

“Oh, God.”

 

Then Unit-01's face passed upwards from the ground, giant and white. Its mouth appeared, hanging open in an empty grin, hundreds of yards wide. A harsh sigh passed its teeth.

 

Asuka watched as the giant Unit-01 grew until it filled the sky, its arms disappearing into the walls of the Geofront. It bowed its enormous skull and blinked its green eyes, focusing on her small form. It lowered its face to her, even as it grew bigger. Soon its mouth filled her vision, spreading from either wall of the Geofront.

 

“God.”

 

Its jaw touched the ground, then fell into it. It eyes grew out into the sky. All Asuka could see was the widening mouth, twisting upwards in an obscene grin. The hanging teeth vanished behind her head and then she was inside the mouth, inside it. The tongue spread to meet her, then it too became too large and dropped beneath her. Then the molars pushed out past the Geofront's sides. Then she was down its throat. Then she was deep within it, lost inside what looked like a sea of blood, filled with paper-thin human bodies carried by an invisible current.

 

She opened her mouth to scream, but she could not hear it.

 

---------

 

Running. She was running. To a door. It was closed. So she turned the handle. Her hands barely reached it. She pushed forward. She looked inside the room. She looked.

 

First she saw the feet, floating above the floor. They were turned inward, towards one another. She scanned the body, clad in a dingy robe. The skin beneath was nearly as pale as the cloth. It bulged under the robe, strange and alien.

 

She looked up at the face.

 

She was smiling.

 

“You can cry if you want.”

 

A doll's head hanging limp from its body. Yarn hair in a tangle.

 

“I can quit being her mother anytime.”

 

Don't leave. Don't leave me.

 

Droplets of blood leading down a hall.

 

“You're just a kid.”

 

The scent of lavender.

 

“Baka.”

 

An empty commuter train, bathed in twilight orange.

 

Ayanami Rei and Ikari Gendo's bodies, torn and mangled. Ikari Shinji crouched within them, covered in blood, his hands curling through their innards, bringing them to his mouth. He was biting through his fingers, one by one.

 

Nagisa Kaworu, smiling contentedly as he watched it.

 

An empty bed.

 

People's faces flashing before her so fast they blurred into a single, continuous entity.

 

A noose.

 

The earth. The sun. The moon. A black sphere.

 

A spear as red as blood.

 

Her hands around a throat, nails digging into the flesh. Her victim's face bent backwards, obscuring identification.

 

Ikari Shinji, embracing an unknown woman.

 

“I'll kill you!”

 

An empty beaker of water.

 

“Die with me.”

 

I don't want to die.

 

A broken picture frame.

 

I hate you!

 

I want you.

 

I don't want to die.

 

“I can't…”

 

Hands playing a cello.

 

He's inside me.

 

“Mama.”

 

Don't hate me.

 

Mama.

 

Don't leave me.

 

Mother.

 

Don't kill me.

 

I don't want to die.

 

A sea without color or definition or end.

 

I don't want to die.

 

Rebirth. Her body splitting open to pass the indefinable form of her spirit into an infinite expanse of orange.

 

“I don't want to die.”

 

---------

 

Asuka opened her eyes.

 

The sky was dark, pitch, and the moon seemed to be drowning in it. She blinked. There was a hole in the moon.

 

She was on her back, her body feeling utterly exhausted and spent. It ached to take a breath, or to shut her eyes, or to move. She was still in her plug suit. It felt rough and unclean. The scent of blood was all over her.

 

What the hell happened?

 

She sat up, searching herself for injuries. None. She was clean. She was alive. Had the battle… had everything been a dream? Or was this… was she dead?

 

She took stock of her surroundings. The earth, to the right and left was blasted bare, a wasteland. No buildings, no signs of humanity, not even the defeated Evangelions. Her Unit-02 was gone, too.

 

There was something behind her. An opening on the surface of the planet, miles wide. It was black like the sky. It was deep like it, too.

 

Asuka turned back around. She was on a beach. Water lapped gently at her feet, a soft sigh. She watched it for a moment, for many moments, entranced. The beach was very long, extending beyond her view in a subtle arc. Her nose crinkled. This was not water. This was blood. LCL. A sea of LCL.

 

Out, roughly fifty feet from her in the sea a small island floated. On it stood Unit-01, crucified in the air. The Spear of Longinus was embedded through its chest. Its head was bowed low, its eyes blank and empty. Its wings were gone, as was its color. No purple and green adorned the giant, no color at all. Unit-01 was grey and dead, necrotic. It did not move, it did not look like it had moved for a long time.

 

What the hell happened?

 

Asuka rose, dusting the sand from her legs. But it was not sand. It was pulverized land and building and human. So fine it was nearly a powder. She sighed. Her plug suit felt dirty and awkward, rubbing her skin raw. She supposed it would not matter if she took it off, but a salvaged sense of shame kept it on her.

 

She stepped into the sea. The LCL flowed around her feet, angry at the obstacle. She stared at Unit-01. A monument, a memorial. Asuka moved forward, needing to see it close, needing to see its plug. She had to know. If she was to spend the rest of her life here she had to know that he was dead. The stink of blood clung to her, to the waves sticking to her body. She kept going.

 

Asuka had to swim the last thirty feet, clenching her mouth shut. She spat when she reached the island. The coppery liquid dripped from her, collecting in a small pool by her feet. She spat again.

 

She stared up at the fallen God, the thing that had eaten the world and then died. Was she still inside it now? Was this merely some pocket universe within that enormous white thing? Perhaps it had kept growing. Perhaps it never stopped. Perhaps the entire earth was contained between two molecules on its armor now. Maybe the entire galaxy. Hell, why not the whole damn… everything. Maybe it found God and ate her, too.

 

Her feet had taken her around it twice, part of her searching for a way to climb it, another part searching for a way to fail at it. A fall from that height would probably kill her. If she made sure to land on her neck. On her third revolution, she stepped towards it, and struck something soft. She looked down. It was Shinji wearing his hospital gown. His bony backside was sticking out. The ridges of his spine were clearly visible. His head was curled into his arm. His legs were tucked up.

 

It was Shinji.

 

She fixed her eyes on him, reestablishing the subtle rise and fall of his chest for a few hundred times. She knelt by him when her legs gave out. She laid by him when her body lost all feeling. The harsh sand stung her eyes and she teared. She inhaled the sand, and she shuddered. Her hands refused to move, refused to reach him. She stared at the back of his neck, and wept. No one was around to see her, no one could judge her. Her mother was dead, and gone, and could not see her. Unit-02 was gone. Everything was gone. Asuka cried, great, full body sobs that wracked her frame, making tiny currents in the sand.

 

She cried for a long time. After a few minutes, it stopped being solely for herself. Soon it encompassed all those that died, even Misato. It was for her friend Hikari and the dead boy she loved, for the other boy she knew. It was for Kaji, the first person she ever wanted to kiss. It was for the commander, and Rei, and Ritsuko, the people she hated. It was for the countless others that had passed her in the streets, in school, in NERV, in her life. All the people in the world, all the tears she had in her eyes.

 

She grabbed Shinji. Her hands clawed at his flesh, and the two children tumbled in the sand, pressed together. She remembered to breathe, and found his scent. It was bloody and tired.

 

She turned him over, face to face now. Her hands ran through his matted hair, slick with LCL. She stroked his face, trying to make him open his eyes. His neck, she noticed absently, was still scarred.

 

But his eyes would not open. She struck him softly on the cheek. She physically pulled his eyelids open. Nothing but bloodshot whites met her. She shook his thin shoulders. She cried over him. His face was still, calm, and wet. She cried over him more.

 

Her hands found his neck. Her thumbs crossed over his windpipe, her fingers dug into the soft flesh of his nape. She could feel the pulse of blood, and did not know if it belonged to him or herself. She squeezed harder. She had to know. She had to know if she was truly alone. If he wasn't coming back this time. If he was really leaving her alone again. Her nails broke blood.

 

Abruptly he jerked up to her and coughed. LCL splattered on their faces. His blue eyes fluttered open. He saw Asuka, wearing a terrified smile, her hair wet and matted to her head. Her eyes were wet, too. He felt her hands on him. For a brief, sweet moment, he believed his mother had sent him to heaven. Then the nausea and pain hit him. He could not see the twin holes in his chest, but he could clearly feel them. He involuntarily flexed his hands and cringed in agony. His felt sore all over.

 

Asuka pressed her lips to his forehead. He became aware she was speaking, a low, quick dialogue in another language. She spoke with her mouth on him. She spoke and she was sobbing. He opened his own mouth. When he finally spoke, it was hoarse and tinny.

 

“I feel sick.”

 

-----------

 

End of Witness

 

 

Author notes: the end. I considered some side stories, focusing on Rei, Misato, even Ritsuko but… yeah, I'll end it here.

 

Actually, one last thing. I know a lot of you might be disappointed with the fact I never had Asuka really come to terms with her own problems, or her mother. To be honest, I never felt I should. This whole story started as Asuka realizing that Shinji's wimpiness and depression aren't entirely his fault. And, I decided, if that helps her come to terms with her issues, so be it. But I wasn't going to let myself be controlled by it. Turns out, no, she didn't really grow that much. None of the characters did. The one scene from EoE I had in mind the whole time I wrote the last chapter was the end, when Shinji tries to kill Asuka on the beach. I feel, personally, that's a powerful way to end everything. Because the characters aren't any better off at the end than they were at the beginning. Life usually sucks that way. Even after traumatic events, people are as screwed up as they ever were. Surviving conflict does not guarantee maturity and personal growth.

 

So, yeah, Asuka does not discover her mother was watching over her. She doesn't really come to terms with herself, or Shinji, or the world. This ending is at best, I think, bittersweet. It's a brief, bright moment of joy in a dead world. Completely transitory. Love, just like hate, takes constant reinforcement. It's just that love is harder. Love means putting aside your own needs and wants for another, who might not necessarily share your views and dreams. Love is hard, perhaps the hardest of all things, but it's the one thing that makes life truly worth living. It's why I'm still alive today.

 

Thanks for reading, folks.