Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ Witness ❯ Chapter 6 ( Chapter 6 )

Witness chapter 6

 

Adam Kadmon

 

Disclaimer: I do not own Eva

 

Warning: you know what to expect by now.

 

 

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It began, as most human interactions did, with a common courtesy. The situation demanded it, at the very least. After all, he was the sole hope the world had at the moment and she knew no one else would bother to take their heads out of their asses for a second to aid him. So it fell to her, like so many other times, to play the good Samaritan, the devil's advocate, whatever title others thrust upon her. It didn't matter. She had learned long ago that the end justifies any means.

 

Ritsuko knew she was nothing but a means as well.

 

She knew that truth, as well as the truth that Shinji was a means too. Ritsuko also realized that drawing such a parallel between them was overreaching to a disgusting degree. She was a genius after all.

 

But she was also a realist. She had outgrown novel concepts like good and evil years ago. Being associated with an organization that was in the business of cloning Gods did not behoove oneself to morality and righteousness. Sin was so thick around her it was hard to breathe.

 

But these were all excuses. Ritsuko smiled at that. If there was one thing she had in abundance, it was excuses. For mother, for country, for humanity, for womanhood, for science, for love, for hate… she could take her pick.

 

She had stopped excusing herself for what she had done about the same time Unit-01 burst forth from the twelfth Angel. She honestly thought the Evangelion, Shinji, might decide to forgo any formal jail time and punish her right then and there. The weakest part of her hoped he would. If it meant she'd avoid the responsibility of her actions she would gladly accept it. A fitting punishment. She was almost disappointed when he stopped, standing ankle deep in the gore from his enemy. She never once doubted he could kill her, or anyone else. Ritsuko was fairly adept at reading other human beings. That didn't mean she was good at dealing with them, though.

 

When she first met him, she saw his mother in his face, and his father in his actions. His fears, insecurities, selfishness and cowardice were all so painfully displayed on his sleeve she swore she was witnessing Ikari Gendo as a teenager. Hedgehog's Dilemma, she had once told Misato. It was the greatest human survival tactic in this new world. After the Impact ritual belief in any kind of benevolent deity was dissolved from daily life. It was observed, like a bad habit, on special occasions such as weddings or funerals, but even then only as a nod to the older generation.

 

Right and wrong, good and evil, they were so obscured as to make any real distinction trivial. Life, survival, was the paramount goal. It had been for fifteen years. Quantity over quality. What did it matter if starvation, homelessness, crime and international hostilities were at a historical high? So long as man continued his march forward. Evolutionary dead enders.

 

More justifications. It was a natural human response to such grievous sins. The mind adapted, reformed and reshaped memories to continue its own survival. It was ironic. The last few months of Ritsuko's life had made her feel human, more so than any other time in her life. It was a thrill to connect with another person free of the culture of shame, free of stifling moral restraint. It was a thrill to be herself for once in her life.

 

The walls around human hearts were so thin. People put on a brave face, but the truth was they could be broken so easily nowadays. They were careful to observe this weakness in others as well, playing the polite and compassionate roles society expected of them, but in their hearts there was nothing but darkness. Innocence was a faded dream for children and fools.

 

The commander once remarked this was a world cleansed of the original sin. The fool. Even sacrificing three billion lives on the altar of human transgression wasn't enough to get the dirt off. It would never be enough. The sooner one accepted the truth, the easier life would be.

 

But Shinji… he just looked… so lonely. So small. She saw a child deprived of childhood, forced into a world of fury and death beyond comprehension. She saw a child cursed with skills that marked him with a brand unto death, required to fulfill his duty as long as his ability warranted.

 

… and in his deep blue eyes… she saw herself.

 

It had taken five separate meetings with him for her to orgasm. She faked every other time prior, thankful for his total lack of knowledge regarding women. The first time he touched her she dry heaved for thirty minutes after he left. But living was nothing else if not a gradual desensitization to horror and sin.

 

Soon their contact became a contest against her faded morals. She could not believe the boy was so passive, so completely obedient and submissive. He agreed to anything and everything, any possible idea that crossed her mind. It didn't matter how obscene, how humiliating, how utterly dehumanizing her commands were, he obeyed. She had to keep pushing him, she had to see at what point he would draw the line, at what point he would completely break down. Because when he finally did, nothing else would matter.

 

That Unit-01 would accept no one but Shinji… it was always a theoretical possibility. And now it was reality. Now every plan NERV had, every plan the commander had, hinged on Shinji. If the Third Children could not pilot, this war would end in failure. Humanity would be wiped clear from the earth and forgotten. Conscious thought would cease to have meaning or sway and man would fall. NERV and SEELE's grand scenarios would become nothing but baseless hopes and dreams.

 

Ikari Gendo would never see his damned wife again.

 

And suddenly, Ritsuko had an attainable goal for the first time in years. If she could break the Third Children, ensure his ability to move Unit-01 was lost, then God's judgment could not be stopped. She knew humans didn't deserve salvation, in any form.

 

Humans were pathetic. They were obscene. Childish. Petty. Violent. Unrepentant. Selfish. Terrible. They didn't deserve Instrumentality, the laying to rest all of the heart's woes, the last step on the path to Godhood. Humans deserved pain and suffering and agony and shame. Ritsuko knew without a shadow of doubt the puppeteers behind the Impact deserved hell. She knew she deserved it too. She knew he deserved it.

 

Perhaps… perhaps if that man failed, her mother could forgive her. Perhaps she'd forgive her mother, too. She chuckled without any humor. All this solitary confinement was making her soft.

 

There was very little to do in a jail cell. Even less than she originally thought. Left alone within a vacuum, her intellect made her slightly strange. A weirding of her mind. Her senses had numbed and dulled to a blunt edge. She could not remember a time when she did not feel old, or weary, or tired, or wretched.

 

Even so, people and things outside herself struck her with enough force to make her woozy. Like now.

 

Footsteps. The approach of fate wearing heavy boots, striding down the narrow corridor to her pit within the earth, the pace neither quick nor slow, but assuredly final. She nearly smiled.

 

Ritsuko's cell door swung open, its rusty hinges screaming against the harsh treatment. The sole occupant glanced at the intrusion, blinking against the light. After a moment the prisoner laughed once, through her nose, and straightened her skirt. Not that it needed straightening, or that she was modest, but it kept her hands from shaking. Though she had expected this for some time, being presented with the sudden reality of it was quite upsetting. It was a not a fear of death, but a fear of not being killed.

 

“Well,” the blonde doctor said, slowly looking up. “I expected you'd visit sooner or later. Come to torture and kill me like you vowed?”

 

“Next time,” Misato said, staying in the doorway. “Promise.”

 

“How on earth did you find me?”

 

“Maya,” the major said after a moment. “She helped me hack into the security systems. She's been a guilty mess since the last battle.”

 

“Really,” Ritsuko said, chuckling. “Using an emotionally distraught girl to satisfy your curiosity. You're getting devious in your old age.”

 

“I can't help but learn from everyone around me,” Misato bit back. She blew out a breath. “I know you know. You have to. I want to know where the hell Shinji disappeared to. Where he keeps disappearing to. And you're going to tell me, or I'm going to shoot you in the head.”

 

“Well, how could I possibly refuse such a kind offer?”

 

“It isn't a request. It's an order.” Misato gave a false grin. “I may not be your commanding officer, but I sure as hell have the control in this situation.” She shifted her arms, allowing Ritsuko to see her gun. “So talk.”

 

The doctor sighed.

 

“Have a smoke on you? I haven't had one in ages.” Ritsuko saw Misato was not in a joking mood, and shrugged. “Sorry. It's just that down here time passes so slowly, and it feels like years since my last smoke. Same with a good cup of coffee. Or those great sandwiches Maya used to bring in from the city…”

 

“I'm not here to reminisce. You'd better talk or I'll finish the job I started.” She grinned to show her teeth. “How's your jaw holding up?”

 

“I had to let it heal naturally. Even though it was obvious I needed a brace or a wire or something. I'd forgotten how hard you punch, Misato.”

 

The major strode over to her and refreshed her memory.

 

“O… Okay,” Ritsuko said, shielding herself with her arms. “Okay.”

 

Misato let go of her shirt and flung her down. She stepped back.

 

“I'm waiting.”

 

The doctor supposed drama required a grand lead in, perhaps some metaphysical or philosophical musings on the subject of man and his many follies, but she fast decided she didn't care. She'd had enough drama for one life.

 

“… the commander calls it the dummy plug. He has an interesting sense of humor.”

 

“The dummy plug?”

 

Ritsuko nodded tiredly.

 

“Yes. Maya could probably fill you in if you want.”

 

“I want it straight from the horse's mouth. It's something you made, right?”

 

“Of course. It digitizes the brain wave patterns of a pilot and then replicates them for the Eva. In theory, it makes pilots actually inside an Eva obsolete.”

 

“Wow,” Misato said. “You managed to make something worthwhile. I'm amazed.”

 

“I said in theory. It's extremely difficult to control, even at the lowest levels. But Ikari doesn't care. He never did. As long as it gave him a more direct way to control the Evas.” Ritsuko frowned. “That's all he ever cared about.”

 

“Bitter much? I won't pretend to know what the hell's between you two, and I won't pretend to care.” She waited a breath. “So the commander's been using this on Shinji?”

 

“Yes. You should know… without it, his synch is less than fifteen percent. He's drawing dead, so to speak. This is the only way Unit-01 can operate, now. Its core was… touched by the fifteenth. It laid bare the connections between Shinji and the Evangelion, allowing for a level of manipulation previously unattainable. It made his mind extremely malleable to our desires. With the proper coaxing, there are almost no mental defenses left. He's a clean slate. He's a doll to command.”

 

Misato felt a surge of hate.

 

“So you two have been fucking around inside his head, just so that monster can still move? Just so you can make Shinji kill again? If… when he finds out what happened to Rei, and when he finds out that you two were the cause—”

 

“Like I said, the system cannot monitor emotional patterns.” Ritsuko chuckled softly. “In essence, we give him all he needs to start up, then we sit back and watch the show. Yes,” she said, seeing Misato's face. “He did that to Rei. Consciously or not, it was all him.”

 

The major turned, the desire to shoot the commander on sight filling her mind.

 

“Wait!” Ritsuko ordered. “There's something else you want to ask me, isn't there?” She grinned as Misato stopped. “Something very important.”

 

“… and why are you going to tell me? Why did you tell me about that dummy thing?” She nodded to a nondescript corner of the room. “I know we're being monitored. Aren't you afraid of what he'll do to you? Or are you hoping he'll kill you this time?”

 

“Don't be so crude. His punishments are always so much… worse than that.” She waited.

 

“Who is he?” Misato relented. “Who the hell is the Fifth Children?”

 

“I hope he's watching right now,” the doctor whispered. She shrugged. “Alright. I'll tell you. But first, you have to answer one of my questions. Agreed?”

 

“You're in no position—”

 

“I'm in the perfect position. Either you tell me what I want to know, or you don't get your curiosity sated.” Ritsuko looked at the woman in the doorway. “Tell me how Shinji-kun is.”

 

To the doctor's credit, she did not flinch when Misato drew her gun and snapped the safety off.

 

“You little bitch,” the major hissed.

 

“Now, now. Don't be so hasty. After all, he could be in danger right now. You need to hear what I have to say to you. Of course… only after you tell me.”

 

Misato did not lower the weapon. She swallowed.

 

“The… the last few Angels have hurt him, horribly. That and—”

 

“No!” Ritsuko snapped. “That wasn't what I asked you. I want to know, how is he? How is he in bed with you?” Her face became, soft, amused. “Does he still squeal like a butchered pig?”

 

Misato fired once, the bullet whizzing over the doctor's shoulder and kissing the metal wall behind her.

 

“I've never touched him,” she snapped. “Not like you did. I—”

 

“Love him, yes. I've heard. I imagine everyone's heard by now. So, please, keep me informed. Has the rest of the crew alienated you yet? Do they look at you like a monster? Has Kaji-kun finally stopped sniffing after your behind? Be happy that the commander won't give a damn. He knew about what his son and I were doing, but he never did anything.” Ritsuko grinned as her former friend's visage twisted in rage.

 

“That sick son of a bitch.”

 

“Hmm, yes. He truly is. Even I can see that. I'm fairly sure everyone else does, too. Well, everyone except little Shinji-kun. He wants to adore him, he really does.” The doctor tittered. “Between the two of us, he'll do anything if you talk about his father with him.”

 

“You would know you filthy whore.”

 

Ritsuko chuckled harder.

 

“Don't be so harsh. I've made my peace. Have you?”

 

“I don't need to. I'm not the one with a gun leveled at her head.” The major narrowed her eyes. “What is he?” she asked, for the last time.

 

“That's not fair,” she said, running a hand through her now dark hair. “You still haven't given me what I asked for.”

 

Misato wasn't quite sure why her oldest friend was all but begging her to put a bullet in her skull, but the major quickly decided she didn't care. Still needing her alive, at least for a few more days, Misato did the next best thing.

 

“Ah!” Ritsuko hissed, pulling away as the major dug the burning muzzle of her weapon into her temple.

 

“Start. Talking.”

 

“… where is he now? The Fifth?”

 

“Lock down. After the last fight we didn't know what the hell happened. But without any real evidence we can't hold him—”

 

“Yeah, that'll help.”

 

“Stop jerking me around!” Misato shouted.

 

“Or what?”

 

Showing no hesitation, the gun aimed lower. Ritsuko's smile died. Eventually she shut her eyes, sighing in a manner that suggested she was awaiting the arrival of a firing squad.

 

“Nagisa Kaworu is probably the last Angel.”

 

Her cell door slammed shut before she finished speaking.

 

---------

 

Staring at the small sea the LCL had turned the floor into, and noting the shattered tube in the center of the chamber, Fuyutsuki said what was, even he had to admit, painfully obvious.

 

“This was not anticipated.”

 

Gendo didn't even deign to grunt in agreement.

 

The Dummy system, the converted core that copied and manipulated Ikari Shinji's mental patterns, was destroyed. The dense piping that hung overhead displayed the central connection point, nothing but shards of glass and metal. The deceivingly opaque walls, shattered, spilling their contents over the floor.

 

The pale, soulless bodies of several dozen clones lay scattered at Gendo's feet, their flesh rotted and decayed. He focused on a single dull red eye as it stared into the ceiling.

 

“Where is he?” the commander asked, oddly calm.

 

“Section-2 lost track of agent Kaji two weeks ago.” Fuyutsuki wracked his brain for any pertinent detail. “His apartment was cleared out before we could move on it, and all his finances and ties were frozen. The Committee claims ignorance, but we are hardly ones to be pointing the finger.” The old man sighed. “He's gone, but it isn't our doing.”

 

Gendo remained impassive.

 

“Akagi was in her cell,” his former sensei continued. “The major was located within the Geofront, looking for the Third Children… the security blackout was still in effect for Terminal Dogma when this happened. We don't know who's responsible.”

 

“I see.”

 

“We still have the data within the MAGI,” Fuyutsuki began, unnerved by the other man's calm, “but it is impossible to replenish the physical components. There isn't enough time left.”

 

“Yes…”

 

Gendo continued to stare down at the littered floor, the withered limbs snaking through the sea of orange, their colors faded and dulled to grimy porcelain. Organs floated like flotsam, caught in the grating of the floor. It was like wading through melting snow.

 

The commander stared down at the dead face of pale ash. A lifeless red eye stared up at him. Her face was split apart, the nasal cavity on full display as an endless hollow in the skull. The front lip was torn off, but the bottom remained, curved ever upwards in innocent wonder. Her feathered hair was damp, sticky, and clung to the structure of her head. Slimy blue tendrils cascaded out from her crown to creep and slither down her cheeks and forehead.

 

The red eye still stared.

 

“This merely forces our hand,” Gendo said. “We cannot turn time back, but we can direct its flow. We will shape this to our benefit, too.”

 

Somehow.

 

“Nagisa Kaworu is still in custody,” Fuyutsuki said after a moment. “What will you do with him?”

 

“Knowledge of the truth must be contained. How many know of the Dummy system?”

 

“Akagi is no threat, but the Ibuki girl is a problem. And the major may suspect something. Beyond them, no one has intimate knowledge of it.”

 

“Then let the Fifth Children occupy everyone's thoughts for a while longer.” Gendo resisted the urge to sigh. “Seal this room. Erase all records. It is of no more use.”

 

The two turned to leave the dead chamber, and the vice commander mentally congratulated himself on keeping his breakfast down. They rode the small personal lift back up to Central Dogma, a journey of nearly ten minutes. Neither spoke further on the matters at hand until Fuyutsuki swallowed his intelligence to address another sore topic.

 

“What of the Third?”

 

Gendo made no outward sign.

 

“There is only one Angel remaining,” he stated, staring out at the elevator shaft behind tinted glasses. “We can survive the Second and the major's insubordination until then. Keep him where he is.”

 

“Of course,” the old man said. For not the first time he shut his eyes in silent prayer to his dead student. He hoped Shinji liked secure NERV medical wings. If the boy was still technically alive.

 

The elevator reached its last stop and opened its doors to a secluded private sector of Central Dogma. Gendo stepped out first.

 

“An odd note,” Fuyutsuki said as the thought struck him. “It seems the Fifth had taken to watering a small garden of melons within the Geofront prior to his incarceration. How on earth he even found them is anyone's guess.”

 

Gendo frowned.

 

“Where is the Fifth now?”

 

---------

 

He is close.

 

Rei stared at the hospital room's ceiling, the harsh sterile white beating her senses dull. She'd been here since the last battle, staring, while her body became slower and weaker with every breath. Her flesh felt like it was encased in ice, a frigid embrace that sunk deep inside her. A cold hand grasped her heart.

 

He is close to Ikari-kun.

 

She had no idea how she knew, simply that she did. As more and more portions of her physical self became deadened, Rei felt her mind expand. It was most strange. Everything below a fuzzy median on her lower torso was gone. She could see her legs, twin protrusions under the hospital sheets, but there was no sensation whatsoever. The same with her left arm. The limbs were nothing but dead weight now. The first thought that crossed her mind when she regained consciousness after the battle was that she hoped this would not impede her piloting.

 

The commander visited once after the battle to ascertain the level of damage, then left. No one else paid their respects. At any other time she'd welcome the solitude while her wounds healed, but lately…

 

I am alone.

 

Rei did not indulge in anything as petty as self-pity or despair. It was a simple statement of fact, now more than ever before. She was alone. The others, her pairs, the shadow sisters, were gone. And for the first time in her life Rei felt human. Solitary, weak, scared.

 

It filled her with disgust.

 

She hated feeling this way. She hated feeling. But since the sixteenth the truth was no longer confined to fragmented recollections of water and reflections. It was no longer the phantom sensations of fear and pain she suffered when in NERV or near the Evangelions. It was truth. Absolute and undeniable. And beneath this truth that buffeted her above all other things, there arose an endless fury.

 

It was alien to her, but at the same time infinitely welcoming. It was akin to her dislike of red, but so much greater. Magnified a thousand fold. She never knew hate, not the way the Second Children knew it, not the way the major or the doctor knew it. Not the way Shinji knew it. All she had was the compiled information from a lifetime of significant insignificance, of everyone who passed her by. She found herself enjoying the new feeling.

 

This feeling. This was unrequited wrath.

 

A name she did not know on a face that stared back at her, alterations on her reflection to create a person who whispered in her ears in dreamless sleep and blind wakefulness.

 

This feeling. This was…

 

Her thoughts reached out to Shinji, vainly stretching over an insurmountable void. Rei sighed. There was nothing awaiting her as usual.

 

She regretted what had befallen the Third Children. That sick human component of her heart missed their interactions, their brief conversations and confusing emotional connections. But that was all in the past. Immutable and unchangeable. To keep dwelling on it was weakness. The commander taught her early on not to fixate on times past, that the inability to change or alter events would drive one mad. The commander taught her many things.

 

The commander taught her she was important, not for the existence of her life, but for the life of her existence. Her form was replaceable, and the singular components of her being were less than their sum.

 

For some time she knew. She knew the shape she took was artifice. A pale shadow, a fake, a construct, a hollow shell. Sometimes when she concentrated she could almost feel her mind slip free of her body and expand into something beyond human form. It was frightening. It was exhilarating. It was freedom.

 

It was familiar.

 

The loneliness that consumed her, that filled her and emptied her, was a lie. The sixteenth showed her that as it forced itself inside her. She saw herself reflected a million different times, each face uniquely analogous in its creation, forever extending into an endless distance. She saw a dark towering figure, the flesh reborn in female form, a face hidden by shadow and water.

 

She was not alone. She was never alone. Even now she felt the green eye on her.

 

“Rebirth,” she whispered.

 

The light flickered.

 

---------

 

“We finally meet, Ikari Shinji.”

 

Kaworu stood over the comatose pilot's hospital bed, a soft smile playing on his pale features. His hands rested in his pockets. His eyes danced.

 

“I have longed to speak with you, ever since I first heard your name. Oh, please excuse my rudeness. I am Nagisa Kaworu. But that is not my true name. My father called me Tabris. You may use either. Whichever pleases you more.”

 

He tilted his head to the side, as if listening to a response.

 

“It is regrettable, meeting under such circumstances. What a foul creation,” Kaworu spoke, thinking of the Dummy system. “Is that what caused you to act so violently? A crime.”

 

His smile lessened.

 

“My erstwhile master ordered a most unpleasant task. But it was necessary for the final act. I wonder… I wonder if my sisters will tattle on me.”

 

Kaworu closed his eyes, remembering the vivid images of Ayanami Rei's memories which were dumped into the Dummy system, as well as the broken, terrified recollections of Ikari Shinji. Kaworu closed his empathic heart when the image of Unit-00 appeared before him.

 

He shook his head sadly and sighed.

 

“To be forced to rely on such human devices… shameful.”

 

He replaced his smile.

 

“You are very delicate. Like glass. I mean, your heart is. I wonder, does it bother you that you are so fragile? That hurt fills your heart so easily? You are not fit for the battlefield, Shinji-kun. I realize that may sound foolish, coming from one who has witnessed your many battles, but I never sensed any happiness when you fought. No joy or excitement. Merely… a sustained, extensive sadness. Like you were killing yourself along with all my brothers and sisters.”

 

He took in his deadened form.

 

“I suppose you were, in a way.”

 

He sighed, banishing his fallen family away.

 

“I spoke with many people here, some longer than others. Many care for you, Shinji-kun, in many different ways. It was marvelous to feel. Love, lust, hate, fear, pity, regret, disgust, temptation… all for you. Amazing. Truly amazing. I envy you. I realize it is not appropriate for me to do so, but I do. It is sad that we will never truly meet, and talk, and touch.”

 

He bent down, and inhaled the air near Shinji's exposed hand.

 

“You have the scent of woman on you. The Second Children, no less. Is that why she is acting so strangely? Is she waiting for you to touch her again? She is lucky.” He paused, then nodded, happy at some thought. “Her feelings are some of the most interesting. I like talking with her. But I do not believe she likes talking with me. I had attempted to speak with her regarding you, several times, but she became quite cross with me. She struck me the last time.”

 

He laughed, like he had just gotten his first kiss.

 

“The Second is rather cross with many people, it seems. She and major Katsuragi don't seem very friendly anymore. She is a fascinating Lilim as well. She is so… guilt-ridden. Over so many things. It is hard not to feel sad when I am near her.”

 

His face darkened a shade, and his smile became less pronounced.

 

“I have not spoken to Dr. Akagi Ritsuko, though. I cannot find her. Well, excuse me. I can find her, but to tip my hand so early would have been… ill advised.” He paused, lifting his eyes to a sight only he could see. “Ah, well. It appears time is short. I do loathe to end our meeting so soon, but the world will not wait while I stand here and ponder your kind. Please excuse me.”

 

He did not leave though. He paused, still staring at Shinji.

 

“We will meet again, in battle. It is fated. Unit-01 is solely under your control. I cannot even listen to its soul. Only you, Shinji-kun, only you can do what must be done. I hope you will find yourself soon.”

 

Kaworu pressed his index finger against Shinji's face, letting it slide across his cheek, over the scar on his nose. When he retracted his hand, the wound was gone.

 

“I'm afraid I cannot do more for you, Shinji-kun, for we are being monitored. Though I doubt anyone will begrudge me one simple act such as this.” He smiled down at him. “Hopefully, the first step on the road to your former self. The self I wished to meet so very much.”

 

Kaworu exited the hospital wing. He walked to the Eva hangar. He entered cage number five.

 

He smiled and stepped off the umbilical bridge. A small shining aura dropped from his feet and he floated above the LCL.

 

He released his AT-field and alarms instantly sounded. Kaworu merely grinned.

 

The last Angel had arrived.

 

---------

 

The third Angel entered Tokyo-3.

 

It was dark. The sun having had its fill of brutality, retreated behind the safety of the distant horizon. The Angel stalked the deserted streets of the city in a hunt for a nameless prey.

 

Alarms suddenly blared, a portion of the street slid away, and Unit-01 rose from the earth. It took a shaky step forward, its giant foot shattering the asphalt below.

 

And promptly fell on its face.

 

It was almost comical, but the effect was ruined as the Angel captured the Evangelion's face with a single clawed hand and lifted it off the ground. In a surprisingly quick and brutal motion it gripped the left purple arm and squeezed until it snapped at the wrist, the hand flopping lifelessly at a horrendous angle. The elbow spike on the Angel glowed bright and extended backwards, before slamming into Unit-01's face with a sickening crash. A wondrous cacophony, crushing a thousand hard-shelled insects at once.

 

Again and again it assaulted the machine until it broke clean through its skull, sending it tearing backwards several hundred feet into a building. The spike drew back and Unit-01 pitched forward in a defeated slump. Then the blood came… bright magnificence that showered from the wound, carpeting the streets between its sprawled legs.

 

Silence.

 

And then hell opened its mouth and roared.

 

It was not so much a battle as it was an exercise in patience, waiting for the berserk Evangelion to have its fill of gore. It seemed nothing could stop it, nothing could possibly sate the bloodlust it presented. Not even a last ditch desperation move by the enemy.

 

The explosion that was all but expected of a defeated messenger blossomed over the computer screen and the replay ended abruptly.

 

Asuka sighed, watching the battle for the seventh time. She heard the rumors about the first sortie in Tokyo-3, but she always chalked up humanity's victory to dumb luck. Now that she'd finally taken the time to watch the fight, she was genuinely unsettled by it.

 

The sudden cut at the end still bothered her. It almost ruined the rest of the movie: there was no triumphant victor returning from the wreckage, no dramatic shots of the conquering hero emerging from the hellish inferno that engulfed the city, nothing. Not even a follow up to the lost vital signs of the Third. It wasn't the fact of an edit that bothered her, but the fact that more wasn't restricted. She refused to believe it was mere sloppiness or a slip on NERV's part: they dealt in too many secrets to miss something this obvious.

 

She sighed again.

 

Sitting alone in the private viewing room deep within NERV, Asuka scrolled through the menu of classified battle footage, selecting the next file that caught her interest. She felt like she had been here ever since the last battle. For someone who touted synch rates and combat statistics so much, Asuka was a little ashamed she'd never done any actual research on her fellow pilots. Sure, she was briefed prior to her arrival in Japan, but her wounded pride prevented her from actually delving into their records. The less she knew, the easier it would be to keep the walls up around her heart.

 

Well, that certainly worked out.

 

She didn't want to see the battles that made the other Children famous. That was her right. Only she deserved the emotional high of victory, a sensation so faded for her now. And she didn't want to live vicariously through others. The irony of her present situation was not lost on her.

 

She decided there was a kind of logic to proceeding in chronological order this time, and she opened the clip simply labeled “Fourth.”

 

For not the first time it struck her how painfully repetitive the fight was. True, Shinji at least attempted something approaching an actual challenge to the Angel, but his sloppy shots, to say nothing of the lack of any follow-up attack, killed any chance he had a quick victory. It was with a tired kind of bemusement that Asuka watched the Angel hurl the Third Children into a hillside.

 

Was he trying to lose?

 

Asuka saw Suzahara and Aida cringing in the shadow of Unit-01's metal shod fingers. She saw them climb into the entry plug. She saw the purple Evangelion fling the Angel back and rise on unsteady legs. She saw Unit-01 unsheathe its Progressive Knife. She heard Shinji scream.

 

The mech barreled down the hillside towards the Angel and was impaled by its two whip-like arms. Shinji kept screaming, and rammed his knife into his foe's heart. Asuka shook her head in wonder.

 

His fighting style lacked her grace, her fluidity, her knowledge of movement and reaction, her confident assurances. It lacked too the First's compact brutality, her bare minimum engagements, the calm detached way she approached and dealt with enemies. Shinji didn't have years of training, or insight into his opponents, or even a natural knack for combat.

 

All he had going for him was a genuinely vicious and remorseless hatred.

 

Shinji's recorded voice howled in pain, in anguish, in fear, in hate.

 

That fury. That was what she was looking for. The single-minded rage that no earthly force could stop. Even seeing the pale duplication produced by a computer screen was intimidating. When he set his mind to it, when he focused his entire being towards the completion of a single act, he was impressive. Exciting. Whether it was dealing death to his enemies, or working his fingers inside her.

 

Asuka blinked.

 

Stop it, she told herself with a shiver. Don't think about that right now.

 

She scrolled through the menu again, selecting the file “Fourteenth.”

 

The replay began as the hulking Angel crashed through the ceiling of the Geofront, and floated down along with several buildings. And almost immediately Shinji opened fire with his rifles. Asuka had to admit, he had gotten better over the months. If this war dragged out for a few years, she would genuinely worry over her top rank.

 

But she knew his synch rate during this battle. As well as the fact he was the only line of defense. It still made her burn inside, doing nothing but watching on the sidelines. Even now it continued to irk her. Even so she couldn't help but feel a little bad over what happened next.

 

She no longer cringed as the Angel's razors slid cleanly through his waist, or when he howled in pain as it blasted his face open, or his crazed utterances as it began hammering his chest apart.

 

But seeing what happened to the Angel next always made her feel uneasy. She did not turn away as Unit-01 tore open its foe, bathing in its insides. She watched, and realization washed over her.

 

Asuka was struck with what had been eating away at the back of her mind since the last battle. It was something she hadn't consciously wanted to admit to herself, but in the face of such overwhelming evidence it was no longer a question of personal opinion or joking observation. It was painfully clear as Unit-01 dug its hands into the fourteenth, then stooped to tear its face away with its teeth.

 

Ikari Shinji was a violent human being.

 

Asuka wasn't naïve. She wasn't stupid. She knew she got angry, got pissed, got violent too, she got to feel hate just like everybody else, just like Shinji. It wasn't that she never let herself go, but with him, with the way he totally gave himself over to those emotions, the abandon and the disposal of moral restraint he displayed… it was the way a child lashed out when it was held down. It was the way a wounded animal fought.

 

It was hate.

 

And it went on, and on and on and on. The fourteenth was clearly dead, or at the very least incapacitated, but Shinji didn't stop. He just would not stop until nothing even remotely resembling the Angel was left. This was fury, hatred without bounds, without reason.

 

Asuka watched as Unit-01 butchered its foe and then roared when there was nothing left to slaughter.

 

And then she was sure of it. Somehow it was Shinji who destroyed the last Angel, too. It was Shinji who crippled the First. Shinji who beat her again. Asuka scowled.

 

“Messed up,” she murmured, staring entranced as the legless Unit-01 began scrambling over the bloodied landscape, pulling itself by its arms, dragging several hundred yards of intestinal track behind it. A crimson wedding train.

 

It took four minutes of blindly towing its own innards across the Geofront and the anti-Angel intercept system to stop the purple Evangelion. Another two weeks to completely repair the ceiling and mop up the gore.

 

God damn, Asuka thought. How had reality gotten so utterly fucked?

 

The Angel alarm chose that moment to remind her exactly how.

 

The guiltiest part of her was happy the other Children were either incapacitated or useless. It meant this Angel was all hers. Asuka rose from her seat with adrenaline singing in her veins.

 

The door behind her, the only door in or out the private conference room she was in, opened with a hiss of compressed air and Misato entered looking more haggard than usual.

 

“Get to your Eva now.”

 

Asuka bit back a few scathing remarks, most focusing on her former guardian's disheveled appearance as of late, and decided to let her have her imagined sense of command. There were Angels to kill, after all.

 

“Where is it?” the Second Children asked.

 

“Inside NERV.” Misato hesitated. “Asuka, Nagisa is the last Angel.”

 

Shock was something the redhead was rather skilled at covering up. Had been for years. But hearing that both her piloting days were numbered, and the Fifth was her last foe was threatening to break her carefully crafted mask. She didn't have the luxury of lamenting her lost job, or pondering the moral implications of killing Angels now that she knew they could take human form. Misato was dragging her along to the cages at a near sprint, and it was all Asuka could do to keep up.

 

She didn't bother with a plug suit. She briefly wondered if she'd ever wear one again. She slid into the plug and awaited the emergency start up. Over the tactical net she heard the complete chaos the bridge was in. She closed her eyes.

 

Asuka thought of Shinji's broken form, Suzahara's dead body, and even Rei's lost limbs.

 

“Time for some payback.”

 

The red Evangelion awoke.

 

---------

 

Unit-02 burst through the outer wall of her cage, a Progressive Knife already in hand. Asuka didn't want to screw around with any useless rifles this time. She wanted this to be her victory, and hers alone.

 

LCL flooded through the opening with her, pooling around her giant's feet. She took a few steps through the support structures, and punched down the wall leading to the Main Shaft.

 

Can't believe he's really an Angel. Utterly fucked.

 

When the last barrier fell Asuka spotted Nagisa Kaworu, floating in a shining aura. He smiled.

 

“Fifth!”

 

“Pilot Soryu,” the pale thing calmly replied, his soft voice carrying up to her ears effortlessly. “I was waiting for your arrival. I cannot proceed without you.”

 

“Cocky as ever,” Asuka growled. “Good. It'll make your death that much more satisfying.”

 

The red Evangelion pulled its knife back, simultaneously forcing its AT Field out towards its foe.

 

“You're the last. You're all I have to kill to finish this stupid war and get some God damn rest. Say hi to all your dead relatives for me, asshole.”

 

Unit-02 plunged its blade down in a vicious arc.

 

Instead of the satisfyingly dark pleasure of feeling an Angel's life being torn away from its physical form, Asuka's entire body was jolted stiff as her mech slammed to a halt, inches from the still smiling Kaworu. Her throat hitched above a spray of bile.

 

What the fuck…!?

 

The Second Children blinked back her words, shaking her head. She strained against the controls and tried to refocus. From her vantage point, she could clearly see Kaworu right in front of her, the Knife no more than two yards from his grinning face.

 

Blocking it from ripping his face apart was an AT Field.

 

It was like striking a wall with a feather in her hand. Asuka tried to bring her fist back to regroup, and was again shocked. Unit-02's hand, her Unit-02's hand, refused to budge from the flaring energy field. Every moment, every second of her training returned to her in that instant, but she could not bend her Evangelion to her will.

 

She swore.

 

“What!?” Asuka finally roared. “What the hell did you do!?” She pulled on the control yokes with all her might. She concentrated as hard as her infuriated mind would allow. “Work! Work, God damn you, work!”

 

Unit-02 slowly unfurled its fingers around the Progressive Knife, and it fell into darkness. Kaworu alighted next to the Eva's shoulder fin, still glowing, still grinning. His eyes flashed once and Unit-02 began to tear through the layers at its feet, plunging down into the depths of NERV.

 

She heard Aoba say the tenth layer was destroyed over the net. All the shutters and bulkheads were like paper under the power of Unit-02. The rest of the bridge's pandemonium was lost under her own fury.

 

“God fucking damn it!!!” Asuka screamed in rage. She pulled until she thought the controls would break. “Why won't you obey me!? What did you do to it!?”

 

“Pilot Soryu, please. I am in total control of Unit-02. Its soul is deep within a state of remission. You will not use it again unless I deem it worthwhile.”

 

Soul?

 

How dare you talk down to me, she started to say. A proximity alarm from her plug silenced her. The onboard identification system alerted her to who was descending towards them. They both looked up.

 

“Shinji!?”

 

“Shinji-kun… you are late.”

 

Unit-01 plowed towards them, arms and legs flailing behind it. Asuka braced for impact, cringing. Kaworu smiled. Evangelion Unit-01 swept right past them, striking its head against one of the destroyed gates, and fell far below. A few moments later they heard a dull crash.

 

Both Asuka and Kaworu blinked.

 

“That was… unexpected, Shinji-kun.”

 

“Shinji!”

 

The shaft ended and they found themselves in a vast sea of strange jagged pillars and a red ceiling that looked like the sky. Unit-02 landed on cat's feet, Kaworu floating by its shoulder. He gazed at Unit-01 flat on its face, immobile and unmoving. The Angel frowned.

 

“Shinji-kun… I cannot even sense you anymore…” He shut his eyes. “Have you truly shut yourself away so completely?”

 

“Shinji!” Asuka screamed. “Get up! Please! You have to kill him! He's the last Angel!” She pounded on her controls. “Shinji!”

 

“It is no use,” Tabris said sadly. “I was expecting a battle, but this… this is disheartening. Is this the choice humanity must make?”

 

The last Angel sighed resignedly, and turned. He floated down into the heart of Terminal Dogma, ushering Unit-02 behind him. A glance of manipulation, and Heaven's Door ground open. Asuka choked on a silent gasp as she met the white giant crucified in a sea of orange blood. Of all the things to be kept within NERV's core, this seemed the worst possibility.

 

“Let me show you the end of your world,” Kaworu said.

 

Neither he nor Asuka saw as Ayanami Rei alighted next to the collapsed Unit-01, or when she dissolved into its back, or when the Evangelion's blank eyes burned white.

 

---------

 

Kaworu floated up to the white giant, hovering mere inches from the stone mask bearing seven eyes.

 

“All who spring from Adam, must return to him. Is this my fate, though it means the destruction of mankind?”

 

He let a small portion of his emphatic heart out to greet his father, and did not meet who he was expecting.

 

“Lilith!” He spun in mid air, searching out Unit-01's crumpled form. “I understand now! The Lilum, Lilith! Ikari Gendo has been a very busy boy.”

 

Asuka was snarling at her controls, yanking on them with all her considerable strength. Her eyes were burning into the amused Fifth Children, who seemed to be having a ball hovering in the air and chuckling his brains out.

 

Just two seconds, Asuka thought. Just give me two seconds and I will destroy him. I will make him pay for making me look like a helpless doll. I will make him pay for using me like a decoy.

 

I will make him pay for saying his name.

 

As she started getting her feet into the abuse of her entry plug, a blotch of white and blue at her side made her head whip around. It was Shinji, dragging his feet forward, his head bowed into his chest, making his way to the edge of the platform before the giant.

 

It was Shinji, and he was not in Unit-01.

 

“Shinji! You idiot! Get back in your Eva! Now!” Asuka lost her breath as Kaworu laid his crimson eyes on the Third Children. He descended. “Shinji! He's going to kill you!”

 

Slowly, horribly, Asuka watched Unit-02's metal shod hand lower and collect the boy. He made no effort to resist, and collapsed into the fingers, glad for a rest.

 

“Let him go!” Asuka roared.

 

Her face was pressed against the plug's edge, her teeth bared in a dark snarl. She looked on helplessly as the final Angel alighted beside him, raising a single glowing hand. Shinji stood, not under his own power. Kaworu's hand reached out for the boy's cheek.

 

“Don't you fucking touch him!”

 

Kaworu smiled into Shinji's face, and brought his pale lips to his. For a moment, for a brief, blinding moment, they both glowed, brighter than the sun, and Asuka was forced to look away.

 

“I'll kill you!” she screamed. “I'll fucking kill you!!!”

 

And then Shinji was in a pile across one of Unit-02's fingers. The Angel above him smiled without humor or brightness.

 

“I see. If that is truly your wish…”

 

Unit-02 tipped its hand and Shinji was sent tumbling sixty meters through the air.

 

“No!!!”

 

He fell from Kaworu's hold, landing head first in the moat around the giant white thing. He sank without any bubbles. The last Angel gazed at him, then turned, smiling. His glow faded a degree.

 

Asuka felt Unit-02 rush back into her control. She wrapped her hand around the floating Fifth Children without hesitation. She spared one look at his exposed face before she crushed him. His head separated from his mangled body, hanging by thin strings. They were plucked, one by one, by the weight of his skull. Asuka watched as it plummeted to the sea below. It landed with a gentle splash. Her hand spasmed once, and she felt his bones poking into her palm, his blood and organs seeping out between her fingers.

 

With her clean hand she dove after Shinji, careful not to accidentally maim him. She brushed against his leg and scooped him out, laying him on the platform beyond the opened gates. She held the Eva on her current commands. Her plug ejected.

 

She descended on the motorized line mounted behind the hatch. She dropped the last nine feet and landed beside Shinji with a grunt. The scent of blood was everywhere. She slipped in the pool of LCL around him, landing on his chest.

 

“Shinji! Shinji!” Asuka raised him up by his shoulders, holding him in her lap. “Say something!

 

He did not say something. He could not.

 

Shinji's head lolled backwards, his neck bending over her arms. His eyes slowly focused on the fallen Unit-01. He honestly had no clue how he got out of it, or where he was now. He could vaguely feel something surrounding him, but his body was numb and cold.

 

His eyes refocused as something new came into his view. He knew what it was, but it was not familiar.

 

Shinji stared at Ayanami Rei, standing before him, strangely pristine in her school uniform, a faint, almost indefinable glow around her. He stared at her, and she stared back.

 

She stared at him with many, many red eyes.

 

The entire chamber seemed to be filled with different Reis. Many wore the school uniform he was so accustomed to. Some were clad in her plug suit. Some the swim suit he saw her in once. Some did not wear anything at all. Still others were wearing clothes he had never seen before. He blinked, trying to make sense of the scene.

 

Something big was wedging itself inside his head. His eyes burned with stabbing heat, his nose compacted and swelled, his ears popped, his mouth hung open, his teeth throbbed. Something big was emptying his head. It was big and it was so… familiar. He felt at peace, for the first time in so long.

 

And then every single Ayanami Rei smiled. And Shinji smiled back.

 

“Re… birth…”

 

Then he shut his eyes and saw nothing but darkness.

 

-----------

 

To be concluded.

 

 

Author notes: the last Angel is dead and all is right with the world. But with Shinji on the cusp of death, Rei half dead, and everyone else an emotional wreck, how will NERV fare against SEELE and the JSSDF?

 

Answer? No so well.

 

Tune in next time for the conclusion of Witness.

 

Ritsuko. I've put it off long enough, so here goes. (ahem) To start, it has always been my contention that the good doctor is a closet sadist. Trust me, I'm a closet masochist: I can spot them a mile away. Anyway, she always struck me as someone who wanted respect, power, and control: all the things denied her by her mother. Now, it is a well known fact that nearly every character in Eva has some sort of messed up parent complex, and Ritsuko is no different. It's exactly like she says in episode 23: “Like mother, like daughter.” Let's run down the list. Abandoning your sense of self to a heartless organization? Check. Employing your genius for less than ethical ends? Check. Aiding in the eventual genocide of the human race? You better believe it. Sleeping with an emotionally shattered man who is obviously not in love with you? You get the picture.

 

As many of my reviewers correctly pointed out, Ritsuko is a calm, collected woman, and my portrayal was totally OOC. Fair enough. Yeah, it was definitely OOC, no question. But really, I'm just making her snap from the pressure a little earlier, and in a possibly more destructive way. The series shows, towards the end, that Ritsuko is capable of doing crazy things. She is also capable of being emotionally detached, justifying her actions with ideals and outright lies. That's a dangerous mix. Yes, she's calculating, smart and professional, but she has a very dark side, one willing to throw her own life away, and the lives of everyone around her. Repression warps people.

 

It always surprised me that Ritsuko never resented Shinji more than she did in the series. He is as much a reminder of Yui as Rei is. And yet, the only real act of malice against him is when she reveals the truth about Rei (I don't count her plan to bomb Shinji during the Leliel attack, or her reluctance to aid him after his absorption. Just doing her job). I think a possible, even subconscious hatred of Shinji is a neat idea, one I haven't seen yet. On that note, I never felt Ritsuko was someone who ever experienced love. Not from her mother, certainly not from Gendo. It isn't so hard to believe she'd be able to spot the same absence in Shinji, and take advantage of him.

 

But would she?

 

In the end, her characterization in this is a combination of these reasons. Ritsuko, a brilliant, dedicated scientist involved directly in saving the world on a weekly basis, can't help but feel overshadowed. By her mother, her coworkers, the Children, her commanders, etc. Somewhere along the way, she begins sleeping with her commander, the same man who, quite possibly, was involved with her mother's death. It's an emotionless relationship, but she keeps it. Not uncommon. Now imagine the neglected, slighted, painfully introverted son of her lover enters the scene. He is controlled by his parent, forced into painful and horrific events, all because he can do something no one else can. He's starved for love, for any attention at all, all the while secretly wishing for death.

 

So the parallel is clear. Looking at it like that, Shinji and Ritsuko are, at least in a sense, kindred spirits. Coupled with the afore mentioned strain she is under, and her own emotional and mental baggage, I can realistically see her taking advantage of Shinji. Maybe, at first, as a crutch, or an escape, or even for a little friendship. Hell, even revenge, knowing she has one up on Gendo. It might be a victory knowing she has more control over him than his own father. It could very well be the rush she gets out of having the complete obedience of another human being. A private display of authority, while in the public sphere she's getting ordered around to do all sorts of ugly things.

 

Shinji is an outlet. For her frustrated sexuality, her hatred of Yui and Rei, her unrequited love for Gendo, her resentment of her mother, her inability to relate to other humans, her apathy, her disgust, her weariness of living, for the fact she “knows too much,” for the dissatisfaction she feels at the hand life dealt her. Shinji is a convenient receptacle for all her dark emotions and drives, things the real world deny her.

 

It is also quite possible that her initial interactions with Shinji were completely altruistic, an attempt to give him a little confidence and comfort. He was, after all, the savior of the human race. But let's be honest. Shinji is starved for affection. He'll latch onto anyone who shows even the slightest interest, no matter how hurtful, how painful, how horrific it may become. He'll completely turn himself over to the first nice gesture. And Ritsuko, faced with her own shit and Shinji's total obedience, well… power corrupts. The idea of another human being who is willing to do absolutely anything and everything you tell him to can be seductive.

 

Certainly, it is not necessarily a credible explanation, but given the content of the story I think a little leniency is not too much to ask. Also, something else I want to make clear. This is not Akagi-bashing. I actually like the doctor a lot. Along with Kaji, she's one of the more genuinely human characters in the show. Hmm. Maybe that's why she doesn't seem to have too many fans… anyway, thanks for at least skimming my attempt to justify my horrendous characterizations.

 

…

 

And yes, there is sex next chapter.