Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ The Striplings ❯ Reygas ( Chapter 4 )

Please Read First: This chapter is a little different. It contains the viewpoint of a bilingual person. Her story line involves many other bilingual people. When anyone is speaking Spanish, it will appear italicized. I made it pretty clear in the beginning of the chapter, but later in the chapter, I do not clarify when someone speaks Spanish, it is just italicized.

 

One more thing: Random italicized words are not Spanish, but emphasized words.

 

 

Chapter 4

 

Reygas

 

1

 

“Les presento Anna Alicia Reya!” If I had not already been standing, I would have jumped to my feet with everyone else at the official introduction of my dear friend, Anna, into womanhood. Today marked the day that Anna made the leap from child to woman. We call this great event, her Quincinetta. Anna turned fifteen today and was being honored by a great celebration. As one of her attendants, I am a vital part of her special day.

 

Everyone's gaze fell to Anna as she descended the stairs to the great ballroom. With her, she carried her father on her arm. His face was aglow with pride and exuberance. She had chosen royal blue for her dress, while the attendants, like myself, wore a lighter shade. Anna is extremely beautiful. Everyone in her family is exceptional, but she is by far the most fair. Her skin is very light for a Mexican as is her brown hair. Another amazing thing about her is that she has bright blue eyes. No one else in her family has this gorgeous color but her. I felt a pull at my hand and turned to Jose. He was struggling to hold his face.

 

“Are you crying?” I asked him in Spanish, but he responded in English. “No. But I have never seen her more beautiful. I guess it just jolted me.” Jose prefers to speak English. His family speaks English mostly, unlike the rest of our friends who only speak Spanish at home. They are the ones who have had the most trouble in school. A few are determined, like me, and commit themselves to being completely fluent in English, but others just coast by, learning only the essential parts of the language.

 

Of all the Reygas, Jose and Anna have the least pronounced accent when they are speaking English. Jose and Anna's parents are the most educated of the first generation. That is the first generation born in America from two parents born in Mexico. Jose, Anna, myself, and most of the Reygas are all second generation Mexican American. Their mother, Anna Marie, is the vice president of the Creston Hills Credit Union. Nearly every Spanish-speaking family in town goes there. Her knowledge of the culture and language combined with a master's degree in business has helped her be very successful. Their father, Arturo, is the head Chef at the Creston Hills country club. Surprisingly, his ethnicity has not hindered him at all in his profession. This may be due to the fact that he is the best chef in town. Because of Mr. and Mrs. Reya's positions in the public, they both speak immaculate English, though with an accent, and demand the same of their children.

 

The grand ballroom of the country club looked beautiful draped in royal blue. My Quincinetta was also held here, but I chose shades of purple for myself and the attendants. Anna's and her mother's choices were much more elegant than what my mother and I had chosen. At the time, I was just grateful that Mr. Reya had used his connections to get me a great discount on the event. My family owns a Mexican restaurant that is still in its infancy. Needless to say we do not have the cash flow that the Reyas have. But my family had found a way for me to have my special day.

 

Anna and her father came to the bottom of the stairs and that was the signal for us to take our partners and begin the dance. We danced two dances, while the audience watched us. Jose and I have been in ten Quincinettas, including mine and his sister's, and each time we come to the dance I think about two nights. The first night I think about was the first Quince we were in. By some random decision we had been partnered together. We were both fourteen during the summer before high school started. Jose and I had always been friends, but that night I claimed him as mine. Jose's beauty is near perfection and I had always secretly had a crush. But that night, he finally saw me too. Maybe it was all the changes puberty had bestowed on me that summer, but for whatever reason that night Jose only saw me. Since that night, he has belonged to me.

 

The other night I remember was the night of my own Quince nearly a year later. As tradition, my father escorted me down the stairs to the waiting crowd. At this point, my father handed me to Jose. Months before, Jose and my father had spoken and my father agreed that if Jose really loved me, he could lead me in my first dance of womanhood. Though we were young, Jose had promised himself to me and I him. This made my family especially happy because Jose's family was one of the cities' best. Jose's family was also pleased at our attachment. It didn't bother them that my family was of a working class. Their favor of me was due completely to my own accomplishments. They were proud that Jose loved a girl who had worked so hard to educate herself and be able to stand among the smartest kids in school despite being raised by two parents who spoke little English.

 

Jose spun me around one last time as the music ended and the spell was broken. We both paused for a moment and stared into each other's eyes. Two summers later and I loved him more today than I ever had before. He pulled me close and whispered, “I love you,” this time in Spanish, but I'm not sure why. Maybe it sounded more beautiful or maybe he thought that's how I preferred to hear it. Whatever the reason, I didn't care because it was exactly perfect, just like Jose.

 

The rest of the evening went by in typical Quincinetta fashion, but seemed to mean more to me because it was Anna's, and I loved Anna as dearly as my own sister. Jose and I spent the rest of night together, both of us wanted a piece of Anna, but she had far too many admirers for us to get near her.

 

“Aren't you just the slightest bit nervous?” I asked Jose in English. Speaking English in class was easy, but here or anytime I was around others like me, I had to really make an effort to keep it English.

 

“About what?”

 

“Having the most beautiful girl in school as a sister?”

 

“You mean second.” He cracked a smile and I blushed a little. I hated it when he reminded me of how desirable I was to everyone else. Most of the time he was playful, but sometimes he could be extremely jealous. Jose's only flaw that I had found, but it was one I was willing to live with.

 

“Be serious, please.”

 

“Oh but I am. I honestly don't know why anyone asks you to be in their Quince at all.” My mouth dropped before he could get the rest out, but he finished anyway. “Well, if it were my day, I would want people looking at me, not one of my attendants.” He meant to be sweet, but the idea made me feel a little unsettled.

 

“Turn your face. Look at your sister. Can you honestly say even I could steal the show?” He did as I said. Anna was with a group of freshman, including many male admirers. She was still as exquisite as the moment she appeared at the top of the stairs. My gaze shifted as I heard him sigh.

 

“What can I say? She is a vision. And just tonight, it may be possible that someone would find her more beautiful. But for me, I say you.” I kissed him on the cheek and he slid his arm around me. I was feeling perfectly content in his arms, but the moment didn't last long. Now that the appropriate amount of time had passed, a group of our friends decided to join us.

 

The rest of the evening I was distanced from Jose even though he sat right next to me. Jose was holding court among the Reygas, and I was obliged to play the same role as well. Jose certainly enjoyed it more than me. Sometimes I wished I could leave the circle and be on my own. But as long as I was with Jose, that wasn't an option for me.

 

The tone became pumped and animated Spanish sprang throughout the group. Jose may be the head honcho, but even he succumbed to speaking the preferred language of everyone else. I found my own movements and motions were excited as I fell into Spanish-speaking mode with my friends. That small part of me that wanted to break away from the crowd was squeezed into a box and placed far in my heart.

 

We talked about the upcoming school year and the classes we were taking. Only a few others were taking the same core classes as Jose and I, but we would all be in Spanish together at least. A few of the girls and I launched into a discussion about Stomps, our schools dance team of which we were members. I could hear Jose discussing wrestling with my cousins, Enrique and Cesar Ortega, who were all on the team. Not a good sign. Every time they talk about wrestling it ends in a demonstration.

 

Sure enough, Jose and Cesar started circling, but before either one could make a move a loud voice boomed. “Parada!” Jose and Cesar ceased the moment they heard that voice. It would have been extremely disrespectful for them to ignore an elder's command. We all turned to see who it was. My uncle Cruz was bounding across the room. When he found us, he began ranting in Spanish.

 

“What do you think you boys are doing?!” He turned to Cesar, “Your momma and me didn't raise you to be disrespectful, and you,” now facing Jose, “this is the most important day in your sister's life and here you are acting like an animal!” Both boys were looking down now, ashamed at his words. “Sorry,” they both said in unison. Uncle Cruz was satisfied and his face was no longer red, but added one more thing before he left. “I believe you are sorry Jose, so I will not tell your father of your behavior. He would be much disappointed.” With that he went back across the ballroom. Jose was relieved, knowing how his parents would have reacted.

 

The mood was sober after my Uncle left. We all felt responsible for what had happened. That part of us is something the other kids at school can't understand. Yes, some of us are family, but many of us are not. Regardless of that, we are all part of each other and our feelings and emotions are such. When one of us is hurt, we are all hurt. This is why you will never see one of us on our own. We herd together, not because we choose to, but because that is how we were raised and that is who we are.

 

Afterwards, Jose drove me home in silence. He had a lot of emotions coming off of him, but I knew better than to ask. Despite the desensitization of America, a lot of inherent Mexican ideas, beliefs, and traditions were embedded in me. Because of this, when Jose was upset, I always waited for him to decide when I needed to know. It may sound strange to someone not raised with our beliefs, but it was just as natural as respecting my elders. Jose was the man and I would never make him feel like anything less.

 

When we arrived at my house, we were alone. My parents often stayed late at the restaurant. Tonight was even later because they had both left to attend part of the Quince. Jose waited in the living room while I took a shower. Originally I was just going to change and take out my hair, but my hair had gobs of hairspray and was screaming to be washed. Twenty minutes later I finished my shower and found him halfway lying on the couch with his feet on the floor. He had removed his jacket and tie, with a few of his shirt buttons undone. I came over and he made a space for me next to him.

 

He began absently running his hand through my wet hair. After a minute or so he was ready to tell me what was wrong.

 

“My mom is having an affair.” I stiffened in response to his words and his hand stopped combing through my hair. He didn't add to it, so I thought it would be okay for me to ask the obvious question.

 

“With who?” I wouldn't question the validity of his statement. Jose wouldn't tell me unless he was sure.

 

“James Walton.” It was very difficult to keep my jaw from falling off my face. Mostly because as shocking as it was to hear Anna Marie was having an affair, to know it is with a white man is just crazy. He continued, “There've been a lot of things going on that I don't want to get into, but tonight they argued. They argued where they thought no one would be around. But I was there.” Instantly my mind went back to the few times Jose had left my side to go to the bathroom, to get us drinks, and to get something, I couldn't remember what, from his work locker. So he must have seen them around the locker room.

 

“How long has this been going on?”

 

“I don't know. They've been working closely together since my mom was promoted to V.P a few years ago. Maybe that long ago since Walton was still president back then and he had a big part in the interviewing for the position.” Finally the anger was setting into me. Realization was hitting me. The talk and scandal that would surface if anyone else found out would be very bad for Jose's family, especially Arturo. My anger would have to ebb for now because I could tell Jose didn't want to talk about his mother anymore.

 

It was getting pretty cramped on the couch, so we made our way upstairs to my room. There were so many more questions I wanted to ask, but I knew what my limits were with Jose. The fact that he trusted me to know and no one else was enough for me. Jose was still upset which was weighing me down almost as it was him. I desperately wanted to do something that would make him feel better, so I broke one of our rules and kissed him on the neck. He didn't move at all and I continued to kiss him slowly up and up until I found his lips. At this point I backed away, knowing it would be pushing it go any farther. Jose liked to be in control of this part of our relationship and didn't want me acting like a floozy. He said I was better than that.

 

I chanced a glance at him to see if he was mad, but his face was soft now. He moved slightly and pulled me close to him so he could be the one kissing me now. Thirty minutes later things were progressing more and more until we hit the point where Jose stopped.

 

“I have work early tomorrow. I'm going to go home.” Then something in me snapped and I really began pushing the line. Before he could lift himself off the couch, I was on him pinning him back down. Half of me was afraid he would shove me off the bed and be disgusted, but the other half was operating solely on my teenage hormones. Apparently Jose was not immune to his own hormones as I had thought in the past at times, because he was responding to me just as feverishly.

 

Finally we were reaching a point we had never reached before, and terror and excitement was shooting through every inch of me. Tonight Jose would finally give up his ridiculous old-fashioned sentiments and act like a real teenager. Bravely, I reached my hand down to touch the part of him I'd only dreamed about before. Jose jerked himself on top of me, rubbing it against me. I started to pull my hand away, but he forced back down. My body was becoming completely insane, but the feelings of ecstasy would be short-lived. Suddenly Jose was backing off and I knew what would happen next, but I couldn't let it. I came at him even stronger, rubbing my face against him now, until finally his hands were gripping my arms, holding me away.

 

“Maria!” I immediately went lose in his grip. Calling me by that name, in that tone was not good and I needed to stop before things became any worse. “What are you doing?” Instead of saying anything, I just looked down, ashamed at my actions. “I tell you something that I don't tell anyone else and you act like a horror.” His tone was dark and cold and brought me to tears immediately. It also really pissed me off.

 

“A minute ago, you were more than happy at how I was acting!” When I `m this angry, I almost always use Spanish.

 

“I'm a man. It's hard enough to keep off of you, but I do it because of how much I love you! I won't use you.”

 

“It's not using me if I want to!” My brashness surprised me. I never challenged Jose on anything. But his name calling crossed a line with me.

 

“We are not married. Until we are married, and I promise you I will marry you, we cannot have sex!” I turned away from him and folded my arms across my chest. His anger was waning but mine wasn't. A moment later I felt his arms circle me. “Rose, you are an angel. You are pure. You are everything to me and I won't ruin you. If you want to be my wife, you'll trust me and. . .” he paused, “obey me.” It didn't bother me that he said that. A wife should obey her husband, but it was so hard to be who he wanted.

 

“I'm sorry, my love. It is hard for me too. I'm sorry if that makes you love me less, but I want you so much.” He turned me around, so I would have to look at him.

 

“I want you more than anything, but I will wait. We will wait. When we are eighteen, we can marry. And years from now, we'll laugh at ourselves.”

 

“I hope so.” He kissed me on the forehead and left me alone in my room. I slid under my covers and turned out the light, but that didn't help me sleep. Since I had just stepped out of a shower, I couldn't justify taking another one. Instead I started counting, and I didn't stop until I hit June 25, 2011. That was the day Jose and I would be married, just one day after my eighteenth birthday. It couldn't come fast enough.

 

2

 

A week after Anna's Quince, school started. Jose and I had English, social studies, and Spanish together. We had been hoping for more classes than that, but we knew it would not be likely since my electives were different than his. This year I had to take a keyboarding class. Starting with your junior year, writing assignments were known to triple compared to previous years and I was a notoriously slow typist. Jose, however, had been typing efficiently since he was nine. His parents recognized the importance technology would be on our generation. Of course Jose could have taken keyboarding with me and aced it, but he wanted to take biotech, a science elective, don't ask me why. Who would want to fill up free classes with something difficult?

 

The only consolation I had was that my cousin, Enrique, and Jose's cousin, Julio, would be in the class with me. With so many of us in the school, usually I could count on someone I was familiar with to have a class with me.

 

Keyboarding was my first class of the day. Jose dropped me off and then headed to the other side of school where the science wing was. I found a seat next the Enrique and Julio. The room buzzed a little with the hum of computers. About fifteen seconds before the bell rang, the last group of students dashed into the room. One of them took the empty next to me. The moment he sat down he started talking, and it took me a minute to realize he was speaking to me.

 

“Didn't miss anything, did I?” He had huge grin on his face that created to large dimples, one on each cheek. My eyes traveled from his lips, pausing at his green eyes and then moving on to his very blonde hair. From behind me Enrique laughed and spoke to me in Spanish.

 

“He's talking to you girl. He's going to think you can't speak English.” At that, Julio was laughing too. I was sure the boy next to me thought that we were laughing at him which made me feel a little bad. So I decided I would just have to speak English, at least for now.

 

“Oh,” I said out loud and then looked at the boy next to me and said, “no.” His look confirmed my suspicions and I felt the need to explain. “I'm sorry. My cousin is making fun of me. He said that you'd think I couldn't speak English if I didn't answer your question.” Feeling really stupid and knowing my face was red, I shifted to my computer screen and nervously fingered the keys. I could feel him still looking at me, and I was getting even more nervous than before.

 

“That's pretty stupid.” Now he had three sets of eyes on him. “No offense,” he gestured to Enrique, “it's just. . . how could anyone in high school not know English?” There was a pause and Enrique and Julio laughed and launched into a conversation between themselves, in Spanish of course. The boy seemed relieved that he hadn't said the wrong thing and for some reason was still staring at me. I raised my eyebrows slightly to give a questioning indication.

 

“Sorry, I'm staring. Just so you know. I know you can speak English and very well. I mean. . . I know who you are. . Rose.” He was fumbling with his words and it was a little bit cute in a childlike kind of way. My face relaxed and I realized I had no idea who I was talking to.

 

“Sorry, I don't know you. This is the first class I've had that anyone other than my friends has talked to me.” He was shocked at my response. I wondered why.

 

“That's okay, I'm a sophomore anyway. My name's Chase.” Okay, a sophomore, now I didn't feel too bad I didn't know him. He held out his hand as if to actually shake mine. This guy is kind of a dork. Slowly I brought my hand to his and we locked. Immediately I noticed the roughness of his hands, so different than Jose's. At the thought of Jose, I let go of his hand and turned back around. I also noticed that Enrique and Julio had stopped talking.

 

“What?” I reverted back to Spanish because I truly didn't want Chase to be aware of what was about to take place. I didn't have to look to know that they were both staring at me.

 

“Nothing,” they spoke in unison. “You dig your own grave,” Julio's tone was serious.

 

“What am I supposed to do, he was talking to me. Ignore him?”

 

“Yes.” Again in unison. I let out a sigh, and Chase looked like he was about to ask if there was a problem, so I smiled continued my conversation but with a cheerful tone.

 

“I am allowed to talk to anyone I want. So you go and tell Jose whatever you want.” They looked at each other, having a silent conversation with their eyes. Finally, Julio lost.

 

“We don't think you understand. That guy thinks you're hot. Anyone can see that. So it's not a good idea to let him touch you.”

 

“I'm done talking about this. I didn't do anything wrong.” Before Julio could keep going, Chase made a small noise. All three of us whipped around to look at him. My first panicked thought was that he knew Spanish somehow.

 

“Sorry if I interrupted, I just wanted to introduce myself.” He was talking to Julio and Enrique. “I'm Chase Dylan.” Julio and Enrique looked blank. “Yeah I play on the baseball team. I was on JV last year, but I think coach is starting me on Varsity this year. I know you guys are on the team, so I thought I'd let you know I'd be training with you guys during pre-season.” Julio and Enrique seemed a little more at ease and both were able to place Chase now.

 

“Right. Coach talked about you last season. You and the Bailey kid. So you comin up this year. That's cool.” Julio was the one to speak because Enrique didn't like speaking in English. Of everyone in our group, his English was the least discernable. Now that Chase had established some common ground, everyone could relax. After that class was started, and nobody tried to talk again.

 

The rest of the day seemed dull compared to keyboarding until I reached English. I was excited because I would be in a class with Jose, but just a little nervous about what he may have heard during the day. Spanish had been right after keyboarding and I knew Julio and Enrique hand not brought it up then. Jose was waiting for me outside of class and we walked in together and found seats next to each other. Not that it did any good because the first thing the teacher did was arrange us in alphabetical order. Even though Jose and I have alphabetically close last names, he ended up on the other side of the room, and I ended up next to Stacy Moore.

 

Stacy Moore was someone I did know because we had been going to school together since junior high. I had never talked to her honestly because I never tried to talk to anyone outside of my clique. Thought that didn't mean I was not well informed about her. Plenty of my friends think she is very attractive. She has the blond hair and large chest, but I thought she was tiny, childlike in the face. Shortly, I was going to have to get to know her whether I wanted to or not.

 

Mr. Deerfield, that was our English teacher's name, started the first day of class by pairing us up for a group project. I have to assume the groupings were random, because Stacy and I were the only ones who were paired up that were sitting next to each other. The only reason I noticed this at all was because Jose had been paired up with a girl named Mandy Jackson. The woman in me examined her with surgical precision. No matter how secure I was with Jose, I still didn't like him spending time with a girl I didn't know. Perhaps I was being a little obvious because Stacy finally spoke up.

 

“Don't look so worried. Mandy Jackson is whiny brainiac. Not to mention you are a hundred times prettier than her.” I glanced at Mandy again. She definitely wasn't ugly and that made Stacy's comment very significant to me. In two seconds I decided I definitely liked this girl.

 

3

 

“So. . .How's that college guy of yours?” Over the last month, Stacy and I had sort of become friends. Usually every day we would speak at least once during class, mostly me doing the talking. But lately I felt like she was keeping her distance from me, or maybe everyone. Today I decided I would pry a little bit and see if everything was going okay with her college boy. She seemed a little surprised that I asked.

 

“Okay, I guess. He's not home as much as we planned, but we're working it out. I made the play I was telling you about.” As soon as she said it she looked guilty. Maybe her man was mad that she was doing something without him. Who knows, I really didn't know anything about her boyfriend. “You should watch it.”

 

“Maybe chica. Who are you playing?” Not that I had any idea who the characters were, but that seemed polite. Darn it. I dropped in a Spanish word on accident, which I have a tendency to do.

 

“Rizzo. It's not the lead, which I didn't want, but it is a big part.”

 

“You must be good. I'll definitely come see it for the student performance. I usually don't go, but for you I will.” She smiled for the first time I had noticed all week. There was suddenly a squeaky noise filling the room and Stacy and I both turned to focus on it. It was Mandy Jackson laughing. Guess who she was laughing with. Quickly I looked away, not wanting Stacy to see how much this act mattered to me.

 

“Really Rose?” I peeked out from my downward stare to meet her eyes. She was holding that questioning look. Suddenly she leaned in close and was whispering. “Jose would be mental to give Mandy the time of day when he already has a goddess.” Wow that was extreme, though I didn't know what `mental' meant. I couldn't help but smile warmly at her. Again I turned back to Jose and Mandy. This time she was alone and he was staring at me.

 

A second later he was next to me. He gave Stacy a nod and started talking to me. “I can't come tonight, can we do it tomorrow?”

 

“Why? You had to cancel on me last week too.” Normally I wouldn't question him, but I was already a little ticked off. On days I don't work at the restaurant, Jose comes over and we do school work or just spend time together. Last week he canceled and now he was canceling again. He'd never canceled on me in over two years, so what was going on?

 

“You know I'm sparring for varsity this year. I need all the time I can get. In fact,. . .” I'm not sure if it was my imagination or not, but Jose's eyes flickered across the room suddenly, too fast for me to see at who, but I got the direction. “I think Thursdays will have to be out from now on. At least until wrestling is over.” Mr. Deerfield was clearing his throat which was the signal for us to take our seats. Jose left me to return to his seat. Something wasn't right. He was up to something, which I had never known him to do. For the first time in our relationship, I was seriously questioning Jose which was very wrong of me. But in that moment I made up my mind to find out exactly what he was doing tonight.

 

I reasoned that if Jose was doing something that would be seen as wrongful to me, he wouldn't tell anyone. Even though Jose is the favorite, so am I. The first thing I did after school was to go to my cousins Enrique and Cesar and question them about wrestling. I pretended my parents were going to need extra help at the restaurant. This way I could learn their schedule and remain innocent. What I learned was that wrestling open gym was on Monday's and Wednesdays.

 

Now that I knew Jose was hiding something from me, I had a decision to make. Everything in me told me that Jose was my promised husband. He made our decisions and whatever he was doing was his business. Maybe a year ago I would have backed down, but I knew that I would not be able to hide my feelings from Jose. Back and forth I went until I decided I had to know what was going on.

 

There was another problem that I hadn't anticipated. How was I going to follow him anywhere? I didn't have a car. Every time I needed a ride, I asked one of my cousins. No one close to Jose could know what I was doing, so I had to find someone willing to give me a ride that didn't know Jose. Immediately I thought of Stacy, but then recalled she had play practice. There was no one else. Defeated, I slumped down on the benches outside the auditorium and waited for one of my cousins to come by and take me home.

 

“Rose, are you okay?” My head snapped up in a fit of terror until I realized it wasn't anyone I was worried about, just Chase. Chase had continued his efforts to talk to me in class over the last few weeks, but for the most part I spoke as little as possible to him. Now he was sitting next to me looking concerned.

 

“Chase, do you have a car?” It just came out. I must be really desperate. How do you ask a guy to help you stalk your boyfriend? But I was doing this. I was in crazy girlfriend mode where I would do anything to find out what my man was doing.

 

“Yeah, do you need a ride?” He seemed a little too overjoyed at this prospect, but I didn't care about that. I was completely focused on my goal.

 

“Sort of. I need a ride to my boyfriend's house.” The smile was gone and I could tell he wanted to leave, but he was a nice guy and wasn't about to retract an invitation.

 

“Let's go.” He was already walking off and I jumped up, having to sprint to catch up.

 

Chase's car was old, but really nice. There were no dents or rust on the outside and the engine purred nicely. My eyes rested on his hands gripping the steering wheel. They seemed to be stained with grease.

 

“What's on your hands?” Involuntarily he looked at his hands and then at me.

 

“Have you ever been down to the industrial technology wing of the school?”

 

“No.”

 

“Well I take a couple classes down there and use my hands a lot. They get dirty I guess.” It was probably best not to ask any more questions because he seemed a little annoyed with me at the moment. The rest of the away I spoke only to give directions.

When we reached Jose's house, Chase let out a whistle. “Jose lives here?”

 

“Yes. Nice huh?” Jose's family has a lot of money, and they live in a new part of town where all the houses are freshly built.

 

“For sure.”

 

“Listen, he might not be here. Could you wait for me?” I hated to even ask him, but I really didn't want to walk or take the bus back to my house.

 

“Yeah.” He kept his face away from me, but that didn't hide the strain in his voice. I hopped out of the car and went to the garage. I punched in the code and stepped in. No cars. Just to be sure I wandered into the house and took a look around. Now what? Where would I go now? Jose could be anywhere doing anything, but deep down I thought there was only one place he could be that would upset me. But I had no idea where her house was.

 

“Where to now?” I had slumped into the car without saying a word. When I didn't answer Chase opted to not sit in the driveway and pulled away.

 

“Can you just take me home?” Hot tears were burning through my eyelids.

 

“Rose. You're speaking Spanish.” I hadn't even realized it.

 

“Sorry. I guess I need to go home.”

 

“Rose, what's going on?” Chase pulled the car over, and with the lightest touch pulled my face up to look at him. It was a very intimate gesture and normally I would have pulled away, but part of me needed it.

 

“I need to find Jose and I don't know where to look.” Every ounce of my energy was focused on not crying. I would not cry in front of him.

 

“What do you think he's doing?”

 

“I have no idea. I thought. . it's stupid. Just take me home.” Chase didn't say anything as he pulled away. I looked away from him and concentrated on the houses outside my window. Then it was there.

 

“Stop! Stop!”

 

“What?”

 

“Stop the car now!” Chase stopped immediately and I jumped out of the car, heading back to the spot I had seen Jose's car. When I got to his car, I just stopped. It was parked on the side of the road. It was definitely his car, but he could be anywhere. What do I do, start yelling his name. By now Chase was next to me.

 

“Who lives here?”

 

“I don't know! If I did, I wouldn't be out here going crazy!”

 

“Okay. Let's find out.” He walked over to the mailbox and opened it up. After flipping through a few of them he said, “Jackson? Does that ring a bell?” Yeah. About twenty bells were clanging around my head. My legs were shaking, threatening to fall out beneath me. Chase put his arms around me and led me back to his car.

 

A minute later I was back in his car, openly crying, muttering to myself in broken Spanish.

 

“Please don't do that Rose. I hate it when you do that.”

 

“Do what?”

 

“Speak Spanish. I want to know what you're thinking. When you speak Spanish, you hide things, whether you mean to or not.” My first reaction was anger, but he was right. I did hide things from him.

 

“Take me home please.” The rest of the way Chase quietly followed my instructions until I was home. When I was about to get out of the car he decided to break his silence.

 

“Don't take him back Rose.”

 

“What?”

 

“I know who lives in that house. There was a letter for Mandy. From your reaction, you weren't too surprised at what I said.” I nodded. “So we're both on the same page about what Jose was doing.” Painfully, I nodded to again. “So. . . don't take him back.” His eyes broke away from mine and looked down, speaking so soft I could barely hear him, “He doesn't deserve you.” This was too much. My brain couldn't process everything and I just needed to be away. Without an answer or a promise I left him.

 

4

 

I didn't sleep at all that night, instead I cried and cried. I came up with crazy scenarios that would give Jose a reason to be with Mandy. Then sense would come and I would cry all over again. Everything kept piling on top of everything else. If Jose and I were finished, we wouldn't get married. All the plans I had made during the last two years would be pointless, over. I thought about stupid things like Homecoming and Christmas. Now I would be spending them alone. But there were even bigger questions that I was afraid to ask, like why would he do this? Was there something wrong with me? I gave up at five o'clock and started getting ready for a day I knew would change everything.

 

The first thing I did was call Cesar. His parents were awake, which I knew they would be, and thankfully I was able to get through. When I asked him for a ride, he didn't question me, just said okay. I needed more time. I wanted to dodge Jose for as long as possible. This wouldn't last for very long since we had Spanish together in the morning and English and social studies in the afternoon. As soon as I got my things from my locker, I practically ran to keyboarding.

 

No one was there, but the door was open. Good. I took my seat and waited. Fifteen minutes later, everyone else started to arrive. Chase came in earlier than usual and this gave him time to talk to me before Enrique and Julio arrived.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“No.”

 

“What did he say?”

 

“I haven't said anything. I've been avoiding him.” Enrique came into the class just then. I didn't like the look on his face.

 

“He wants you to come out.” I nearly responded in Spanish, but thought about what Chase had said. After everything he had done for me, the least I could do was speak English when he was around.

 

“What does he want?” Enrique frowned at me before answering. Apparently he didn't want me speaking English.

 

“He didn't tell me. All I know is he laid into Cesar for taking you to school today. I've never seen him this upset Rose.” He hasn't seen anything yet, I thought.

 

Arguing with Enrique would be pointless, so I stood up to walk out. Chase caught me arm. “You don't owe him anything, Rose.” My arm slid away from him as I turned away. Our hands caught for just a moment and I felt a little squeeze of encouragement from him. Enrique missed nothing, but remained silent.

 

Jose was waiting for me on the other side of the door. He took my arm and led me away from any crowds.

 

“What's going on Rose? Why did you ride with Cesar? Why didn't you return my calls?” One after another the questions came. How could I tell him what I'd done, what I knew? There was no way to do this. “Rose, what's going on?! Why are you crying?” My fingers found my face and brushed the few tears that had escaped away.

 

“I saw your car at Many Jackson's house. You lied to me, why?” He exhaled and looked away from me. If he was innocent, he could have explained. But he wasn't talking, he wasn't even thinking of a lie. Now he was facing me again, his face now contorted as if he was trying not cry.

 

“I'm so sorry love. I don't know what I was thinking, if I didn't see her, I would have taken you and ruined you.” It hit me harder than any blow laid by human hands could have. Of all the different encounters I had run through in my head, this was the worst. The fact that Jose was in a state I had never seen from him had zero effect on me. I wasn't crying anymore, instead I felt adrenaline pumping through my veins and I was fighting not to claw his face off. He told me no, but then he goes with HER! I flew away from him and back into class before I did something that would really embarrass me.

 

Enrique and Julio had already taken their seats, so had heard nothing. Enrique and Chase both looked like they wanted to speak, but I snapped before the words could find their way to their mouths.

 

“If you know what's good for you, you won't ever mention Jose's name to me again!” That I said to Enrique. Julio heard this and they both went white, which is saying a lot for two as brown as they are. Then I turned to Chase and managed to speak somewhat calmly.

 

“Can you take me home again? I can't be around any of them, not today.” I didn't turn around and look at Enrique and Julio, because I knew they would both be hurt. They didn't deserve what I was doing, but this was the only way I could think of to get through today.

 

“Yeah.” Chase didn't ask me any more questions. Everyone just left me alone for the rest of the hour.

 

At the end of keyboarding, I asked to go to the nurse for `girl problems'. Thankfully, the nurse let me stay during second hour. I thought about going home, but I didn't have a ride and one of my parents would have to come get me and there would be questions. There would be no escaping 5th hour with Jose.

 

I sprinted between classes and ignored all of my friends during class. They knew something terrible had happened, but were too scared to ask me. The only one that could have gotten me to talk was Anna, but she was a freshman and on a different side of the school. By fifth hour, I was sliding into my seat having succeeded in ignoring everyone all day. But that was all about to end.

 

Stacy was the first to come into the room. Normally she waited for me to start talking to her, so I hoped she wouldn't ask me anything. So much for hoping. Stacy said something to me about Jose and that was it, I snapped.

 

“Mind your business chica.” I regretted it the minute I said it, but I was in no condition to start issuing apologies. Jose didn't approach me and I managed to keep myself from ripping Mandy Jackson apart, so I thought I was going to get away without an encounter. So much for thinking. Mr. Deerfield finished early and we had a few free minutes. In a moment, Jose was at my desk.

 

“Go away, you are dead to me Jose.” I didn't look at his face because I didn't want to see it break, which it better.

 

“Don't say that Rose. I love you, only you. Mandy was nothing to me, just a way to for me to keep you pure. Rose, you're going to be my wife, have my children, no one else can take your place. Rose look at me.”

 

“Enough!” People had started to look, even Spanish couldn't hide this.

 

“Jose, I can't be there for you anymore. You don't want to be tied to me in every way, so I'm letting you go. You can have all the white girls you want now.” The words felt so wrong coming out of me. I had said something so ugly and terrible, but a moment ago I couldn't control it. The only thing I could think of to do was leave.

 

There were only two periods left in the day and I decided to spend them hiding. Chase had said something about the industrial technology wing. Maybe he would be there, at least I wouldn't see anyone that had heard me last hour.

 

The halls were surprisingly crowded, full of people I had never seen at this school. Then some familiar faces were coming towards me. No no no! What were they doing here? It never occurred to me that anyone I knew would be down here. But there were Tony Ramirez, Edwin Gonzales, and Daniel Salizar. At least they weren't in class last hour, but they still might know. Panic was setting in and I was ready to bolt for the nearest exit.

 

“Rose?” His voice was no longer foreign, but comfortingly familiar. Practically running, I headed towards the direction of the voice. Chase caught me before I took us both down. I guess I hadn't bothered to look where I was going. “What happened?” He was so concerned for me, but even so I wasn't ready to tell him. But my body was ready to cry.

 

He slid us into an empty classroom and shut the door. It smelled like oil and had wood tables instead of desks. Suddenly I understood how he could get so dirty. I wrapped my arms around him and cried harder than I ever had in my life. He just stood there and held me. Five minutes later, I was starting to slow.

 

“The halls are clear, are you ready to go?”

 

“Go where?”

 

“Do you want to go home?”

 

“No.”

 

“Just take me somewhere away.” Without another word, he took me to his car and started to drive.

 

 

5

 

For the next four hours, Chase helped me escape my world of pain and torture. He took me somewhere quiet and we talked about everything that wasn't Jose or Reygas. By the time I told him I had to go home, I felt like I knew everything about him.

 

“What time is it?”

 

“Around 5:00. You tired of me?

 

“Not nearly, but there's something I can't stop thinking about. I want to find Stacy. Maybe if we leave now I can catch her getting finished with practice.” Without a word, he started the engine and headed to school. Chase was so easy and laid back. Jose controlled everything, which is what I thought I liked, but I liked this way too.

 

Stacy's car was in the parking lot still. I made Chase park away from her car, but close enough so that I could see her come out. We may be friends, but I wasn't ready to get into any details with her or anyone else for that matter.

 

A few minutes later she was bounding out, looking completely renewed from the past week. It didn't take me long to catch up. I apologized to her and she didn't seem like it had bothered her which made me feel better. There was a little snag about why I was there, but she bought my excuse. I watched her drive away and then went back to Chase.

 

“Where to now?”

 

“I need to go home. My family probably knows and will want to discuss this.”

 

“They're going to talk to you about breaking up with Jose?”

 

“I know you may not understand, but Jose promised my father he would marry me and honor me. Our families have made arrangements. It will take some time for everything to change.” My words were lost on Chase, he looked a little sick.

 

“Were you guys like in an arranged marriage?”

 

“No! That's crazy.” Chase was relieved and I laughed at the silliness of his thoughts.

 

“That's all I need to know Rose.” Before I knew what he was doing, his right hand had taken mine and his left was pulling my face to his. Caught in the moment, I let do what he wanted. I owed him so much for today and let's face it, I was really pissed at Jose still.

 

His kiss was so different from Jose. Jose was the only person I had ever kissed and over time we had learned how to fit together perfectly. Chase and I didn't fit so well, but that didn't change the way I was feeling. But this couldn't last and it was wrong to respond to Chase when I knew we couldn't date. Reluctantly, I pulled away from him.

 

“Chase.” It took only a word for him to understand.

 

“I know. Kissing you now is selfish and stupid, but you have no idea how hard it is not to kiss you.” The look on my face must have mirrored my confusion, because he started to explain. “First of all, you're as close to perfect as anyone can get on the outside, which is obvious. But after talking to you today, I know how pure you are on the inside.” Again with the pure. All those hours spent calming me were wasted now that my anger was coming back at me in waves.

 

“Rose, I'm sorry I kissed you, don't be mad.”

 

“I'm not mad that you kissed me. I liked your kiss, I like you and I think I need you.” Those words triggered Chase all over again and this time he was much less delicate. This time it took me at least a full minute to regain my self control.

 

“Chase, I wasn't done yet.”

 

“Sorry, it really is hard.” He was grinning his childlike smile and it made me smile back.

 

“As I was saying, right now I need that guy who spent four hours distracting me and telling me about his life. As far as the other stuff, well I don't know if I can ever give you that.” I was braced for another attack, but Chase sat still, thinking I guess. Finally it seemed like he'd made a decision.

 

“I need to say that I want to be that guy for you, but I'm always gonna want the other stuff. If I say yes, then I say no to any chance of dating anyone else as long as we're friends. I just had to think about whether being just your friend was worth giving up every other girl I might meet for as long as we're friends.”

 

“I'm not asking you to,” He held up a hand to cut me off.

 

“I didn't say that. If you're gonna be in my life like I think you want to be, then it wouldn't be fair for me to pretend with another girl. You're not understanding me. How can I say it right? As long as you're close to me, I'll care about you most and that's not fair to any other person.” It made sense and I finally understood what he was trying to say even though it was disappointing to hear.

 

“Rose you look so sad. I didn't say no. I just wanted you to know why I had to think about it, but really I'll take any part of you I can have.” Disappointment turned into joy and I felt my spirits lift, but I still wasn't sure.

 

“Chase, I can't date you, you understand that.”

 

“Yeah, but you do realize I will be taking advantage of any weak moments of yours.” That made me laugh and then he laughed. My decision was made in an instant. After years of sacrificing for Jose, I was going to be selfish. I would knowingly take Chase for myself, because I knew I would need someone outside of the Reygas to get through this. Chase was willing to be my friend and it wasn't my fault if he was going to be stubborn about a few things. All that mattered was that he would be there for me.

 

By the time I came through the front door, it was almost 7:00. To my great surprise, I had a living room full of people waiting for me. Jose sat with his parents on the long sofa and my parents were standing in opposite corners of the room. All were ready to do battle.

 

“What have you been telling them?” I spat a Jose. My father spoke before he could respond.

 

“He's been crying on this couch for hours waiting for you to come home! He's been telling us what fool he is and has begged for forgiveness and I have agreed.”

 

“Papa it doesn't matter if you agree, I don't” I kept my voice smooth when I spoke to my father. I was sure if I raised my voice he wouldn't hesitate to slap my mouth shut and he would be within his right.

 

“You are promised to Jose and you cannot just change your mind. You will listen to what he has to say.” Jose stood up and crossed the room to me. He fell to his knees and grabbed my hands.

 

“Rose please forgive me. I'm weak and selfish, but I can't live without you by my side. After Anna's Quince, I had decided to give in and take away your virtue. I told myself that it would be okay because we were getting married. But the truth was, I knew I couldn't control myself anymore. Then Mandy wanted to and I thought I could just do it a few times to keep off of you. Please Rose, I just wanted to save you.” I would have been heartless not to feel something by his speech, but I would never trust him again. I would never be able to be obedient to him like a wife should be. The worst part about the whole thing, was that he was going to do it with me. If that slut hadn't seduced him, he would have come to me.

 

“No Jose. I cannot forgive you today, maybe never.” I dropped his hand and took a few steps away from him.

 

“Jose, let's go.” His mother moved to him and again commanded him to get up. “She has said her peace, you must move on.”

 

“My daughter will do as I wish. She is not breaking her promise. Jose has not broken his. He is a man, he was weak. What he did, he did to keep my daughter pure. Thank Jesus he didn't take his weaknesses out on her.” Anna Marie tore herself away from Jose and stared at my father.

 

“You will not force this girl to marry Jose. Jose has treated her with great disrespect. We release her of the promise and will hold no grudge against her or either of you.” Arturo moved to stand by his wife as if to second her words. Then the three of them left out the back way, where I assumed their cars had been parked. Although I was thinking Anna Marie was a hypocrite, I was very grateful to her. Once they were safely away, he started again.

 

“Rose, I'm sorry, but you will never find a better match than Jose and he does love you. You loved him too. He can take care of you. We are all released of this, but my wish is for you not to throw him away.”

 

“I will think about it.” My father was satisfied and we would not speak of the issue again. Jose and I were over and there would be no going back. I went back to my room and did my best to erase the last two years of my life.

 

6

 

The first week was the worst. After I had put away anything that reminded me of Jose, I realized that the only way for me to get through this was to separate myself from everyone we knew. My whole life had revolved around Jose and the rest of our friends. The only two things that were outside of that were Stacy and Chase. Everything else needed to be washed away, at least for now.

 

Chase was giving me rides to and from school. Once baseball started, I would have to figure something else out. Cesar and few others wanted me to ride with them, but I told them it just wasn't possible. Not much had been said to me about Chase, which was good. At first I thought it would be a problem, but no one seemed to care. My classes without Chase and Stacy were lonely, but I would take that over the pain of being near Jose any day.

 

It was after a week that Anna approached me, which I knew would happen. Throwing away Anna would be the hardest, but necessary given she was closer to Jose than anyone else. Anna is as smart as Jose which let me know the entire encounter was planned.

 

She waited until after school, a time she knew I would be with Chase. On our way out to the car, Anna approached us.

 

“I know you don't want to talk to me, but there are some things you must know.” Anna sounded even funnier speaking Spanish than Jose did, but her serious tone called for a serious reply. First thing first though.

 

“Anna, if you want to talk to me right now, you're going to have to do it in English.” Chase smiled knowing that I had taken his request seriously. Anna wasn't pleased, but at the same time was a little grateful not to have to go on in Spanish.

 

“I know my brother has been a pig and I am not here to ask you to take him back.” That was a relief to hear. “I'm not even here to beg you to come back to us, even though we miss you so much, especially me.” Again, more relief swept over me. “I'm here to ask you to. . .” She looked at Chase. Apparently this was why she wanted to speak to me in Spanish, but it was too late for that. “stop seeing him.”

 

“Anna, we are just friends. Jose was my love, and I don't even know if I can have those feelings for anyone else again.”

 

“It doesn't matter Rose. Please try to see this. You broke up with Jose and now you are spending your time with another boy and, sorry,” she looked at Chase, “a white boy at that.” I groaned at her, but she kept going. “We understand you need to be away from us, but you can't keep seeing him.”

 

“Since when do the Reygas tell me what to do?” It felt weird to say it out loud, but I was an outsider now and that was who they were becoming to me. Anna winced at me, she felt it too.

 

“No one is telling you what to do. I am telling you that if you keep seeing him, everything will get out of control.” She glanced around the parking lot and then came close to us before she kept talking. “Jose is furious seeing you around school with him. He knows you are alone together a lot and about all the rides together. Mostly it is jealously, I know that, but he is agitating everyone by saying this boy is stealing you away. He also says that the white boy cannot be trusted alone with you. Everyone is worried about you Rose, and they hate you, Chase is it?” He nodded and I looked at him for the first time since she had started her speech. I didn't like what I saw; it was something I had yet to see from him. Rose's words brought my face back to hers.

 

“Rose, did you really think no one would care about this? You're our Rose and no one wants to see you with him. Maybe all those things wouldn't matter if it weren't for Jose, but everyone will follow his lead as they always do.”

 

“Thank you Anna. I'll talk to Jose. I can make him stop.” Anna looked away from me and over at Chase. My eyes followed her gaze. Chase looked like he wanted to explode with something, but he hadn't breathed a word. Anna looked back to me.

 

“Rose, you can't keep him. You can never give him what he wants. You'll just hurt him. If it ends now, no one gets hurt.” I refused to respond to her words, but the silence wasn't long. She left almost as soon as she finished speaking.

 

We were almost to my house before the bomb ticking away inside Chase exploded.

 

“Are you just going to let me drop you off and act like my opinion on this situation doesn't matter?”

 

“How does it matter Chase?” It had never occurred to me to ask Chase what he thought, but that was obviously a mistake. Of all people, he was the last I wanted to see this way. His anger had changed his childlike face into something dark. In fact, everything about him had turned dark.

 

“How?” His hands simultaneously slammed on the wheel and I nearly jumped out of my seat. Then some sane part of him decided this was not a conversation to have while driving and pulled off the road. “Are you going to stop seeing me?”

 

“No. I thought that was clear. I'm going to talk to Jose and straighten it out. He'll listen to me.”

 

“I don't like that idea. You shouldn't be alone with him.”

 

“Believe me, I don't want to, but there's no other way around this. Anna is right, my friends will follow whatever he does.”

 

“What if he tries to win you back?”

 

“I know he will, but I don't want to be with Jose anymore.”

 

“But earlier you said you'd never love anyone like you loved him.”

 

“Right now that's how I feel, but maybe it will change. You may not want to hear, but a month ago I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. My love for him was unlike anything else.”

 

“All of that doesn't just go away. You have to still love him.” It was obvious that he was disappointed which made me hurt inside because I couldn't deny it. Now that my hate and anger had faded some I was sure I still loved him. Chase turned the car off and got out. I wasn't sure if I should follow, thinking that he may want a moment alone. A few minutes later, when he still hadn't come back, I went to him.

 

He hadn't gone far, just a few feet away, leaning against a tree. As soon as I reached him, he was talking.

 

“I need a reason Rose. I've been sitting here thinking why I'm in this.”

 

“Okay, why are you here right now, with me?” My favorite smile was back on his sweet lips, but his eyes still weren't meeting mine.

 

“When you asked me to be friends, I thought that being friends is better than being nothing. And maybe we could have kept going on like that, but I think this is a phase for you. In the end, you'll choose them.” I started to argue, but he silenced me in his way. “It will happen Rose, eventually. What I need is a reason to do it anyway.” Our eyes were locked together, his pleading, mine helpless. I knew what he was asking, but I really couldn't give him that. Then the only option was for me to let go of him.

 

“This is crazy Rose, if you haven't decided yet, then I guess that means its just bad news for me. Let's go, I'll get you home.” My hand reached up and caught his sleeve, which made him turn around, folding me in his arms.

 

“Chase please. I just can't give everything to you, not now.”

 

“Ever? Just close your eyes and stop thinking about what's right and what everyone else wants, even me. Then tell me what you feel.” I did as he said and erased my mind. From behind me I felt his arms around me. Above me I felt his head resting on mine. I inhaled deeply and smelled him, surprised at how easy and enjoyable it all was. The desire to fall into him and forget everyone was so strong it amazed me. How could I feel this way today, when a week ago I was pledged to Jose? Jose would die if I took Chase, not to mention what everyone else I cared about would think.

 

“No Rose. You were doing so well. What happened?” How could he tell my thoughts had changed?

 

“I thought of Jose.” His hold loosened enough to turn me around, but then came together again.

 

“Let me kiss you and I promise you won't think about Jose anymore.” At least he was asking me this time instead of attacking me. If I kept my head down, he wouldn't kiss me, but I didn't. I lifted my head just a fraction of an inch and Chase pushed it up the rest of the way.

 

Every detail of our kiss was perfect this time and Chase was right, I didn't think about Jose or anyone else. When we parted Chase closed his eyes and brought his forehead to mine. “No one can know Chase. If you want this, want me, it has to be private for now.”

 

“For now Rose, but not forever.” I nodded, feeling relieved, nervous, and excited all in one. “I am taking you to Homecoming. Friends can go to Homecoming” This time I didn't have to agree because he wasn't asking. Instead, I looked up at him and smiled, he made me happy.

 

“You're even more beautiful when you smile.” With each word he leaned closer to me until his lips claimed mine again.

 

7

 

It was another week before I could talk to Jose. To say he was surprised to see me waiting for him after school would be an understatement. He nearly jogged the rest of the way to me and picked me up in an embrace.

 

“Have you changed your mind Rose?”

 

“No Jose. But I do want to talk to you. Can you take me home, unless you have plans.” I had secretly chosen Thursday as my day to talk to him. Part of me wanted to know if he was still seeing Mandy and if he was, I wanted to ruin his evening.

 

“Even if I did, you're more important.” I really wanted to throw in his face how he was canceling plans with me a few weeks ago for. . I couldn't even think it. Instead I said nothing and waited for him to get his books. Once we were safely in the care, I started.

 

“Call them off Jose.” He didn't need me to explain the words, he may have even expected I would do this.

 

“Why should I do that?”

 

“Because you have no right to me anymore. I can be friends with anyone I want.”

 

“Ah, but it's more than friends, or it will be. If I was sure it was just a friendship, I could let it go, but that guy wants more from you. When he looks at you, I can see how much he desires all of you.”

 

“Jose, I'm not dating Chase or planning to do anything like that with anyone. Even if we did date, I would never give myself to him.” Part of me felt vindicated in my lie to him, but most of me was cringing.

 

“You wanted me to take you.”

 

“In my eyes, you were already my husband, you were allowed me. It will be a very long time before I feel that way about someone, probably years Jose.”

 

“Would it help you forgive me.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Then I will, I'll do anything if it means getting you to forgive me.”

 

My head was clearer than it had been in days. Now I had to prepare for Homecoming. It was a week away and I still needed a dress. Everyone would think Chase and I were a couple, so that was something else to keep me up at night. I guess we were a couple, but I wasn't ready to tell anyone. There were so many things to think about with this new life of mine. For the first time in weeks I missed how things used to be with Jose. Then the gut wrenching feelings he had left in me came back and I thought about my tasks at hand. First thing, a dress.

 

In the end, I bought a dress. Most of the money I earn at the restaurant goes to my college fund, but I really wanted a new dress for my night with Chase. Borrowed dresses had baggage and I would probably have borrowed a dress from one of my cousins.

 

The week leading up to Homecoming, the school was excited and full of spirit. I didn't really understand the importance of the events, but I enjoyed going to the dance. Chase had kept his word over the last two weeks. At school, he was my friend. After he took me home, I tried to give him as much as I could which really wasn't too much more than what we had at school.

 

The day came and for the first time I was getting ready alone. When we went to dinner, we would be at a table for two, not ten. Everything was quiet and it was just us. No matter how much time we spent alone, it didn't seem to be enough to learn everything there was to learn about the other. I guess that was a good thing and it made things exciting and different.

 

By the time we reached the dance, it was late. We did our pictures first and then walked around a bit. I found Stacy with Robert, evidently she hadn't taken my advice, and she introduced me. While I talked to them, Chase said goodbye to one of his baseball friends who was leaving early. From what I could tell, Robert was a sweet guy, but I thought Jose was perfection. Stacy knew better than to question me about Chase, I still hadn't told her. Finally, Chase pulled me to the dance floor and I was having a blast. Then a slow song came and we locked together. To me, our dancing seemed natural, normal, but it must not have been that way to others.

 

As Chase twirled me around, I caught the eyes of my friends and some family starring our way. Jose was in the middle of it all. He had come to the dance alone.

 

“Do you see them?”

 

“Yes, but I really don't care.” His hands slid down my waist and around the backside of me. My body tingled at his touch, but my brain started going ballistic.

 

“Are you insane Chase? Stop. . .They already saw, let's just go.”

 

“Rose, I don't want to go. I want to stay here and dance with you. Stop worrying about them. Stop choosing their feelings over mine.”

 

“I'm not doing that.”

 

“Really? Why aren't we telling anyone then? You're afraid of what they'll think and you don't want to hurt his feelings. Well wake up Rose, he broke you, he doesn't deserve anything from you.” His hands released me and left me alone in the middle of the dance floor. I watched him for a minute and then looked back towards the direction of Jose and everyone else that mattered to me. If I wanted they would take me back with open arms. My feet were taking me in the opposite direction and I knew I didn't want to go back.

 

Chase was to his car by the time I had made it out the doors. I shouted his name and started running. Just as I reached him, he turned in time to catch me in his arms. Suddenly I was against the car, face glued to his mouth, arms locked around his neck. I could feel his hands traveling to different places on me that I knew should be off limits, but I wasn't ready to stop him. A groan had escaped my lips and Chase, hands well my short dress, lifted me up on top of the trunk.

 

“Get your hands off my Rose.” Jose's voice rang out from five cars down. Chase froze in place, as did I. I could see exactly how we would look to them. My legs would be exposed because Chase's hands were still firm under my dress and our faces were flush with excitement. At my urging, he let go.

 

“Jose go away.” I said, looking over Chase for the first time. Jose was not alone as I knew he wouldn't be, but there was also a crowd of spectators. Jose had brought every Reyga in attendance at the dance. Stacy was suddenly sprinting to my side and Robert was following. Robert had taken out his phone. Jose and Chase hadn't seemed to notice, both sets of eyes locked on the other.

 

Chase slid me aside and narrowed the gap between them to one car. “I think it's pretty obvious if you saw what I hope you saw, that she isn't your Rose anymore. Now, she's my Rose.” That was it. Jose plowed into Chase. Chase was no match for Jose, a wrestler who easily outweighed him by twenty pounds. Though Robert was tall and skinny, he jumped in to, looking eager to vent his own frustrations. Now that Jose was outnumbered, Julio jumped in. Every other Reyga stayed back, keeping it a fair fight.

 

Stacy was holding me back from trying to jump in between it all. Just when I was going to hyperventilate by the unfairness of the odds, a bunch of tall white boys came bounding into the picture. Now the rest of Jose's group joined and it was complete mayhem. They all seemed to pair off, most of them rolling around on the ground, but my eyes were only worried about one pair. I found them and was surprised to see that Chase had gotten in a few good hits. The fight was almost evenly matched now. Then whistles started blowing from across lot.

 

Everyone scattered. Chase threw me his keys and then took off with Robert. Once everyone involved was off school property, the chaperones came back to us. They ushered everyone back into the dance, having not been able to catch anyone. I was in daze, still trying to understand what had just happened when Stacy's voice woke me up.

 

“And I thought I had trouble with my love life. Do you realize a brawl just started because of you? Oh, Rose don't cry, I meant it as a compliment. I told you, you were a goddess. Maybe now you'll start to believe me.”