Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ The Striplings ❯ The Porters ( Chapter 5 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

3/18 A/N I didn't like how I rushed Ann and Porter's relationship. It is really going to be important later, so I thought I'd add a section that explains the nature of their relationship. Also I changed the end of section four. The more I thought about it, I realized how out of character Anna's behavior was.
 
Also: Gay sex. Weak stomachs turn around now!
 
 
Chapter 5: Winter
 
The Porters
 
1
 
“Lola, wake up.” Lola had fallen asleep in my arms in such a way that I had to wake her to leave. This was a mistake and I just wanted to get away from her. Last night I was so angry, I couldn't think straight. There were so many things about being with Troy that were hard, but we could work it out. Here with Lola I felt nothing, I had nothing. Troy gives me purpose, excitement, everything I've been denying I needed for a long.
 
“Do you have to leave?” She was still undressed under the sheet. When she spoke she sat up and the sheet slipped away. As beautiful as her body may seem to other guys, it was wasted on someone like me. I didn't want to touch her or even look at her. It surprised me that I was able to get through last night without her seeing right through me. She didn't notice anything, enjoyed every minute of it. I guess she was telling the truth, she had been a virgin. For the first time I felt a pang of guilt where she was concerned. If she ever found out about me, that would be a hard hit on her self esteem.
 
“Yes. I'm already late.” Now that she was over her hormones she could tell something was wrong. Quickly I reacted by giving her a long, deep kiss.” That seemed to do the trick and she let me leave without another word.
 
Only the twins were awake when I came through the door. They had a friend over and were staying up doing a bunch of girly things. A part of me was relieved that I had no desire to join in. Once I'd seen a movie where the `gay' man liked playing dress up. I was still a dude even if I was gay.
 
“I came home two hours ago, okay?” The twins would usually cover for me, but for a price. They both exchanged conniving looks and Rochelle spoke.
 
“Take us driving in your car next weekend.”
 
“Deal, but only for an hour or so I have things to do.” There was a small giggle that didn't come from either of my sisters, forcing me to turn my attention to their friend. If I had been a straight guy, I would have been the luckiest guy in school. Seated on the other side of the couch was Anna Reya. Anna Reya was a freshman, but that didn't stop even guys in my grade from openly talking about her stunning looks. Anna was wearing loose pajama pants and tiny tank top that revealed part of her stomach.
 
“What's the joke?” I'm sure I sounded like a prick, but isn't that what big brothers are supposed to do?
 
“I just think it's funny that you have to bribe each other. My brother and I are very loyal.” It was a shock when she started speaking because she had almost no accent. In fact, if I passed her one the street, I'm not sure if I would immediately guess she was Mexican her skin, hair, and eyes were so light.
 
“I'm going to bed.” I gave the three of them a quick glance, then turned to leave.
 
“Bye Porter.” Anna was being a bit flirty with those last two words. Could this be more ironic? That was it, I went to bed.
 
The next day was Homecoming and I was like a zombie going through the motions. I met Lola at the restaurant where our group was getting together to eat. My plan was to leave the party early or maybe not go at all, so I needed Lola to have a way home. Troy and Kelsey were no shows which was a relief. I didn't want to see Troy's face when he put it all together.
 
My luck ran out at the dance, Troy did show up there. As hard as I did try to avoid his stares, I eventually had to look at him. There was no denying that he looked to me, the way Lola would have looked this morning to any other guy but me. I wanted him and for the rest of the evening, my only thoughts were of ways to get him back. Lola noticed my. . uh excitement and mistook that for something else. She was suddenly ready to leave. Just then Mitch came up to us and said they were leaving to go to the party. Good. Lola and I decided to leave too, but forgot to get pictures. Before we could leave, we stood in line and did our pictures at her insistence. By then about a half hour had passed and I was practically dragging Lola out to the parking lot. Just before we went into our separate vehicles, Lola got a text saying Kelsey and Troy were leaving as well.
 
Instead of going to Malcolm's, I went to Troy's. This time I parked far enough away so that even Troy's powers of observation wouldn't detect my car. Essie's car was there, but I knew she had ridden with Mitch. I tried the door and somehow it was unlocked. Quietly I made my way to Troy's room. I thought I heard a noise in Essie's room, but I was probably just being paranoid.
 
Once safely inside Troy's room, I laid on the bed and tried to think of what I was going to say when he did show up. Do I tell him? He said he'd never forgive me. It only took about fifteen minutes for me to hear the front door open and close. I sat up quickly, wanting to be prepared for anything. The house was small, so I could hear every movement he made throughout the house. Finally, his steps led to the bedroom. The door knob turned.
 
“Shit Porter!!” At the same time he squeaked this, he had loomed himself backwards into the door. “Do you have any idea how creepy you are?!” He meant to hurt me, but his crazed look and ragged voice did the complete opposite and he noticed. My brain turned off and let the other parts of my body control me. He tried to distract me, wanting to talk about Lola, but in the past month I had become an expert at all things he liked. It didn't take long before he was begging me to take him. This time I did.
 
Thirty minutes later, my world had changed. Being with Troy was everything that I had fantasized about and better. I couldn't even compare being with Lola to being with Troy. My night with Lola left me wanting to run away, whereas this night with Troy left me vowing to never let him go. This is how it should have been.
 
“What did you say?” Did I say that out loud?
 
“Nothing.”
 
“You said something.”
 
“Just let it go Troy. I want to enjoy you.” He was lying against me, with his back to me which made it easy for me to lean over and kiss his forehead.
 
“What made you change your mind?”
 
“I realized that you were the only one I really wanted to be with. Even if you're not exactly what I pictured you as.”
 
“What made you realize that?” He kept his voice cool and even, but I could feel something building underneath.
 
“I just did.” My hands started moving around him in an attempt to be distracting, but he had his own plan and I had played right into it.
 
“Kelsey told me about you and Lola.”
 
“What?!” In a twisting move, I rolled myself around to see him face to face. “She told Kelsey already.” A second too late I realized the climax of the plot had just occurred. Troy's face fell into a million pieces taking chunks of me with it.
 
“Get out Porter. Get out!” In a flash he was out of the bed, boxers and t-shirt back on. I stayed helplessly on the bed. Troy was getting angrier by the second, now throwing clothes in my direction. Not sure what else to do, I frantically started getting clothes on. As soon as I was decent, the bedroom door was open and I was getting hustled down the hallway.
 
“Troy stop. You're acting crazy. Can't I even explain?” By now I was up against the door, still getting dressed and Troy was backed almost to the kitchen area.
 
“How could you?! How could you with Lola?!” Troy was completely out of control now. He reached across the table to pick up a glass and hurl it across the room at me. I had been watching his every move, so I saw it coming and moved out the way in time.
 
“Troy I'm sorry.” There was nothing I could say to calm him. Then I saw something at of the corner of my eye. Essie. I was standing in front of the door, so that would mean she had been here the entire time. She knew. Essie starting yelling at me, but I couldn't hear anything. My focus was back on Troy, analyzing his every move.
 
“I told you what would happen if you slept with her.” The rage was gone and all that was left for him was pain. I wanted to comfort him, make him understand that he was my world. Essie was yelling at me to get out, but I wasn't leaving without a fight.
 
“Troy, what do you want from me? I told you it was a mistake. That's why I came to be with you tonight. Do you want me to break up with her? Tomorrow, I'll do it. I don't care what people think not anymore. Please forgive me, I have to be with you.” I stopped a minute, waiting for him to scream at me again. “No matter how close I get to Lola, I still think of you and wish she was you. I'm sorry I had to hurt you to realize what I wanted, what I needed to be whole.”
Essie started in again and I just snapped.
 
“What are you still doing here Essie! This is between me and Troy. I don't even know why he told you.” I regretted saying it immediately, but then I had much bigger problems to worry about. Kevin freaking Bailey came out to stand next to Essie. Once I got over the complete horror of realizing yet another person, not related to Troy this time, knew about us, the next thing hit me. Kevin had been with Essie tonight while I had been with Troy, probably even before I even came over. What a bastard. Suddenly I looked at Troy again who looked validated at giving me the boot. Did he really expect me to just be open in front of Kevin too? Screw it. I went into Troy and kissed just as passionately as I had earlier that night. To my surprise he responded just a little.
 
“We should talk in my room.” Finally I had gotten through to him. He wasn't giving up on me. Once we were behind closed doors, he turned around and we were kissing frantically.
 
“I can't believe you did that in front of Kevin.” He broke away from me for just a moment to spit the words out. My entire being was singing at his resolve to forgive me. I wasn't going to lose him. Then my cell phone beeped from across the room. Evidently I had forgotten to grab it. Troy got to it first and read the text. In a second the phone was in several pieces across the room, having met its end against the wall.
 
“I can't Porter. I want to. I want to just take you for myself, but I don't know what you're capable of. There're a million reasons why I can't trust you and if we're going to be together I have to trust you. God Porter, I'm so angry at you, you have no idea.”
 
“You weren't angry a second ago.” I was losing him again. It was a small room so he couldn't get very far from my reach. When I was close enough to pull him in, I saw that he was crying.
 
“I was angry a second ago, but I love you Porter. That part of me is so strong that I can't resist when you do things like out us in front of Kevin. It was so romantic and everything I wanted you to be. But then Lola texts you and I remember what a lying bastard you are.”
 
“I'm not a liar, just scared and before I was unsure.”
 
“And now you're sure?”
 
“Yes. I have to have you Troy. Nothing will be right with me unless I have you.”
 
“I can't believe that and I really don't think I can forgive what you did. What are you going to do about Lola, just dump her? That's what you said. What kind of a person does that? You're always going to put yourself first Porter and that's why it has to end.” What did he want from me? Doesn't everyone put themselves first? I made one last attempt to win him, but he brushed me away. “Please Porter, just let me go.”
 
My soul felt broken as I shut his door behind me. I nearly sprinted for the door, not wanting to face Essie and Kevin. I caught a glimpse of them as I walked past. They were snuggled together like everything was perfect. I almost left, but stopped at the last second. They needed to know.
 
“I'm sorry about what I said to you Essie. You've always been nice to me and apparently you've always known. Mitch really loves you, and what you're doing to him is wrong. Kevin.” Should I be gentle or just let him have? Let him have it. “Under any other circumstances, I'd be the first to tell Mitch and then I would help him when he kicked your ass. But I know you won't say anything about tonight, so I will never tell him.” Then I walked out the door, hoping it wasn't the last time I would ever do it.
 
2
 
Sunday I stayed in bed, moving only to use the bathroom. Lola called the house once, probably because I ditched her last night and now I wasn't answering my cell phone. Obviously I wouldn't be answering that phone again. I must have looked pretty sick, because my parents gave me no grief for staying in bed and gladly relayed the info to Lola. She wouldn't be mad at me for last night, if it was what I wanted, she would forgive me. But I didn't want Lola, she was just a reminder of how I had lost Troy. She wasn't worth one tenth of a Troy, and I knew that I could never touch her again without feeling great pain.
 
By nighttime, I had come to terms with my decision to break up with Lola. Now I just had to do it. I yelled for Rochelle to bring me her phone, still not wanting to get out of bed.
 
“Where's your phone?”
 
“It fell out of my pocket and someone ran it over.” It was a quick, easy lie.
 
“That sucks.”
 
“I know. I need yours.” She handed it over without another word. It took me a minute to think what her number was. Had I ever even dialed it? After two wrong numbers, I got through.
 
“Hello?” She wouldn't recognize this number, so I understood the questioning in her voice.
 
“It's me. I'm using Rochelle's phone.” My voice came across as husk, I hadn't used it much today. Lola was immediately motherly, assuming I was on my death bed. Her sweet words had zero effect on me. I hated her more and more with every word she spoke. Finally I cut off her gibbering with nearly a shout.
 
“Lola. I don't care. I was calling you because we need to talk. I'm not interested in this anymore. I want to break up.” Everything became very still. Suddenly I felt something other than anger, regret. But it would be better to remain a jerk, then she wouldn't come up with excuses for me and see me for what I really was.
 
“Once we finally have sex, you. . . break up with me? Did I do something wrong?” Her voice was somewhere between a whine and a sob, but I knew this would happen.
 
“Lola, it has nothing to do with sex. We're not right together. If I was like most guys, I would just use you till I met someone else. Look we aren't right together, it had nothing to do with sex, I just don't want to be attached.” My thumb was on the end button, completely ready to be done with this conversation. But Lola wouldn't let it go.
 
“Oh, so you want to be free to have sex with other girls now!” Her temper had escalated to complete hysterics. Thank god I did this over the phone.
 
“Lola, you're acting crazy. I don't want anyone right now. I want to be alone. I've got to go Lola.” That's how I ended my relationship with Lola. If I hadn't been experiencing my own personal hell, I might have been able to let her down gently. Maybe drawn out the relationship a little longer, but I was pissed and I didn't care who fell in my path.
 
“That was really harsh Sam.” Great, Rochelle had been listening.
 
“But out.” I tossed the phone at her and laid back down in bed.
 
“I'm glad you dumped the cheerleader, but you didn't have to be so mean. Don't look at me like that, how would you feel if a guy dumped me like that?”
 
“Hopefully you weren't stupid enough to sleep with a guy who wasn't really in to you. If you do, it's your own fault.”
 
“I am seriously considering telling Anna to stay away from you.”
 
“Anna?” As much as I wanted her to leave, that statement registered.
 
“Remember the gorgeous Hispanic girl that was here the other night? The one who was drooling all over you for some reason.” Her voice was full of sarcasm.
 
“Why was she here anyway? Isn't that against the rules?”
 
“Anna's parents are really cool. Dad knows her mom pretty well. They used to work at the same bank years ago when they were both starting out.” Why was I still talking to her? All I wanted was to be alone, but she sucked me in with the `Anna' talk.
 
“Get out two.” I sometimes referred to Rochelle and Randy in the order that they were born. Randy thinks it's funny, but Rochelle gets annoyed. It did the trick though and she left after giving me one last disgusted look.
 
3
 
The next day was my first day without Troy in weeks. We had fallen so nicely into our routine that it was hard to break away from it. But I knew better than to attempt any of my usual tricks to be near him. He was in no mood for me to be a stalker. Instead, I tried to stay away. That didn't mean I didn't try to catch his eye from across the hall. This was more so when I was sure he had heard about Lola and me. Secretly, I had thought this might bring him back. But he never gave the slightest indication that we had shared the most intimate moments of either of our lives.
 
Lola had told every female she knew that I was a bastard, so I wouldn't be fending off any girls even though I was single. The only girl I really had to worry about was Anna, who seemed to somehow enjoy my company. In a weird sort of way, I liked her too and almost looked forward to her frequent visits to our house. Other than Anna and my family, I was alone. The guys didn't want to talk about the breakup, Mitch had his own shit, every girl I knew hated me, and Troy was pretending I'd never existed.
 
Troy's cross country season was finishing up and I wanted to see him race at least one more time even if he didn't want me around. I chose an away meet, that way I ran little chance of seeing Lola or anyone else I knew. It meant ditching practice, which as in full swing now, but I didn't care. I found myself thinking I'd give up almost anything at a chance to be with Troy again.
 
I waited in my car, far from any place Troy might see me. Once the meet was getting into gear, I left my car to find a seat. On my way to find a seat, I spotted Essie alone in the stands. During the last few weeks I had spent so much time thinking about Troy and avoiding Lola, that I hadn't given much thought to Essie's little game. Without hesitation I changed directions and sat next to her.
 
“Really Porter?” It was a question to my continual infatuation with her brother I'm sure. I guess two could play that game.
 
“Really Essie? I mean little Kevin Bailey. It's almost sick.”
 
“Do you consciously try to be an ass or is it in your DNA?” Essie still hadn't looked at me, her eyes searching for Troy.
 
“He's stretching on the sidelines by the twenty.” Finally she looked at me.
 
“You are such a stalker. Can you even help it?”
 
“No, I can't. I love him Essie.” The words shocked even me, but they were true. She could have come back with some sarcastic remark, but instead she smiled. Now that she was seeming friendly, I thought I'd go for broke. “Is there any chance?” She huffed a little, blowing air out of her nose.
 
“My brother's an idiot, so of course there's a chance.” Everything that had been empty for weeks filled up and I could feel the glow spread through me. “He needs more time Porter and even then, you'd have to do everything right.” She'd given me enough and I wouldn't ask for more.
 
“How is he?” At first I didn't know who `he' was, but then it hit.
 
“I'm not sure. Part of it is me avoiding everyone, but he is putting on a good show. Maybe drinking more, but nothing he can't handle.” She snorted and turned away pretending to be searching for something, waiting for more. “He'd take you back Essie, I know how much he loves you.”
 
“I don't love Mitch anymore. To be honest, I can't say if I ever really loved him.”
 
“So what? You love Kevin? He's the guy you want?”
 
“Yes. I really love him.”
 
“Not smart Essie. Not smart at all.” She was mad that I had said that, but curious too. Perhaps she'd had her own worries.
 
“What makes you think that?”
 
“I've know the Baileys a long time and Kevin and Mitch are close. That's part of why I can't believe he'd do this. Mitch has told us on more than one occasion how. . . talented you are, but that can't be enough to make him write off Mitch. Unless you're not telling him.” Essie twitched a little at the last part, letting me know she indeed was not telling Mitch. “Well that explains a lot. Kevin can have you and all your talents, yet never confront Mitch.”
 
“Porter, you're such a freaking jerk!” Essie was near tears and I knew I'd pushed it too far.
 
“Essie, I'm sorry. Please don't. I just thought you should know, but I have no idea how Kevin feels about you.” Essie quickly recovered, sensing we had an audience. Troy was glaring at us, a confused look on his face. After a moment, Troy went back to his preparations and Essie and I never finished our conversation.
 
As soon as Troy's final race was over, I left. Maybe I could make it to the end of practice if I hurried. Once I was there, I regretted going because coach made me run most of the time for ditching. When I got home it was dark already, the days getting shorter and shorter. Parked down the street from my house was Essie's car.
 
I looked around the house, searching for a sign. If Essie was here, she'd show herself. If Troy was here, he'd be somewhere else. No one was home. The twins were out doing something since it was Saturday and my parents left a note saying they went to dinner. I decided it was probably Troy and I knew exactly where he would be waiting. Not wanting to waste any time, I didn't even bother to change out of my sweaty clothes.
 
He was waiting where I thought I would he would be, my court. From the way he was dressed, he had come straight from the meet. He was casually lounging on the ball cart, staring at the sky. Sudden surges of desire were barreling through me. My entire body could think of only one thing. Would I ever be able to be alone with him and think sanely again?
 
It was far too bright for the attack I was already planning in my head. Lucky for me, the light switches are located outside the court. Once the lights shut off, Troy knew something was up and slid off the ball cart, searching around for me. He gave up the search and just started talking.
 
“My sister didn't speak the entire way home and ran off into her room before I could get her to speak. Before I break the door down, I'd thought I'd just ask you. What happened?
 
“Did you really come here to talk about Essie?” His eyes darted in the dark, searching for my location. Then I was behind him, and I could feel the electricity flowing between us.
 
“Essie's all I really have. I don't want her upset,” he spoke without moving.
 
“I know that,” I whispered the words into his ear as my hands slid under his shirt. My fingers glided slowly across his abs, tracing each muscle. His body shuddered under my touch, and for a moment I thought he would give in.
 
“What did you say to her?” There was less authority in his voice this time as his body moved back into mine even more. His head rolled back, letting me lightly kiss his neck. A slow groan came through his lips.
 
“Porter please stop.” He was slipping farther into me, desperate to let me be in control of him. Suddenly he seemed to gain control and snap out of our mood. A second later he was two feet away, facing me now. “Porter, I don't want to do this with you. I came here to find out what you said to my sister, and to tell you to ease up. They haven't even seen each other since homecoming.”
 
“Good. Mitch is my best friend Troy and Essie left him for his brother! Do you understand how crazy that is? That would be like me dating your sister. How would that feel?” I'm not sure if he winced at the idea of me with a girl or just me and his sister. Troy stood like a statue, glaring at me. The anger I had been feeling for weeks was back at the forefront of my emotions, neck and neck with my raging desire take him.
 
“This was a mistake. You're a real jerk Porter.” Troy was coming back my way, trying to leave, but I wasn't letting him. My broad arm reach caught him easily and in an instant I had him pinned against the carts. He started struggling, and my grip slid down to where my hand grazed against him. Once I had felt his excitement, mine became uncontrollable.
 
My hand found him easily and I began at a frantic pace. In the real world, Troy was the strong one, the one in control, but not now, he was in my power. Troy's submission was giving me pleasure in ways I had never dreamed of before. I slowed my pace right before he was ready, savoring his pleas for me to finish him. Instead I turned him around and unleashed the demons that had been building in me for weeks.
 
It didn't take long before we were both satisfied and laying on the cold concrete. Troy was the first to rise, ready leave without another word.
 
“You're not going to say anything?” Would he really just leave?
 
“I meant what I said. I don't want to be with you Porter. You know why, you know why I feel that way. That doesn't mean I don't have needs. Tonight, I just needed it.” He didn't turn to face me during the speech, maybe to hide his real emotions.
 
“Troy please, I know what I want, what I need.” The words were lost on him and he continued to leave. “So what happens when we need again?”
 
“We deal with it I guess.”
 
“Together?” Hope had crept back into my voice. He had stopped walking and was now turned slightly towards me. I was staring at the outline of his face when his eyes darted around to mine, blazing green fury. Then he just walked away.
 
 
4
 
 
“Three Friday nights in a row Sam? Did you lose all your friends when you dumped Lola or do you like hanging out with Freshmen?” Rochelle was definitely the most annoying and outgoing of my two sisters. Anna was at our house again and the four of us were watching a movie in the basement rec. room. Up until now, I was actually enjoying the evening.
 
“If you haven't noticed Rochelle, my nights home have corresponded with the start of basketball. I can't go out all the time, I need focus, especially since tomorrow's the first game.” Rochelle opened her mouth to give me a smart remark back, but Anna spoke first.
 
“That's smart Sam. Dedication is a good thing.” She was smiling at me. Anna had started calling me Sam, probably because my sisters did. I liked having Anna there to even the odds against my sisters, who almost always saw eye to eye.
 
“Says the cheerleader.” Rochelle really didn't like cheerleading.
 
“Shelly.” Randy finally weighed in. She was the only one who stilled called Rochelle by her childhood nickname. Anna must be her friend more than Rochelle's. Rochelle immediately stopped and smiled at Randy. “We should go to bed.” Randy stood and Rochelle followed without another word. Anna stayed, almost as if the scene had been rehearsed.
 
Tentatively, Anna came to sit by me. I really didn't mind that she stayed because we got along so well and seemed to think on the same wavelength. It was nice talking to someone I wasn't related to. I still wasn't really talking to anyone at school.
 
“I didn't know you were a cheerleader.”
 
“I wasn't going to be. I planned on doing STOMPS but. . .” She trailed off and looked away.
 
“But what?” It was different asking Anna things than it was Lola. With Anna, I actually cared about what the answer was.
 
“Let's just say that I used to be best friends with someone and now we're not. And this person is already in STOMPS, so I thought it'd be easiest if I didn't join.” Anna's blue eyes sagged and I swear I saw a tear before she looked away. “Sorry Sam. I didn't mean to cry. Quick, talk about something else so I'm not so distracted.”
 
“Okay. . . Do you speak Spanish?”
 
“Yeah, but not very well. My brother and I are the dunces of the group when it comes to that. I guess dunce isn't a good word for my brother. He's really smart. My parents had his I.Q. tested when we were younger and it was in the 140's.”
 
“Not to sound like an idiot, but what's normal?”
 
“Somewhere around 100.”
 
“Okay, so you're brother's like a genius?”
 
“You could say that, but sometimes he does such stupid things.” Here we go again. Her face took on that pained look and her eyes stared off into nothing. I should change the subject again.
 
“So, how'd you start hanging out with my sisters?”
 
“Oh, well we have some classes together. We were kind of friends in junior high, but I was always hanging out with another crowd. Things are too tense with everyone in my group, so I'm taking a little break. They're not too happy with me right now.” Okay this was getting ridiculous.
 
“Why don't you just tell me what's going on.” Anna was thinking again, but she wasn't crying which was definitely good.
 
“Do you know who Rose Ortega is?” Who didn't? I nodded.
 
“Well, you probably know she dated Jose and they just broke up.”
 
“I think I heard something.”
 
“What you don't know, what we're all keeping secret is that he cheated on her with another girl. No one from our group, but a white girl. Not that that hasn't happened before. I mean we date whoever we want, but for Jose to treat Rose with such disrespect with a girl who means nothing to him is. . .very hard for everyone.” She paused here, sniffling. I squeezed her hand a little so she would go on. “Rose won't speak to any of us. Then there was a fight,”
 
“Was that why everyone got in a fight with the Reygas? Sorry, does that bother you?”
 
“No and yes that's why. Up until then, everyone felt sorry for Rose, but then we saw her with that boy, touching her. Part of me is mad at her for acting this way, but the other feels so sorry for her that Jose's cheating has driven her to act like this. I don't know what to do to help her. Now everyone is upset and taking sides. I just wanted to get away from them. And I like your sisters. They're fun to be around.”
 
“Suit yourself. We you close with Rose.”
 
“Rose was as close as any friend can be. She was going to marry my brother. She loved him like a husband. He ruined everything. Rose is probably so lost and that boy is just taking advantage of her.”
 
“Do you really think Rose would let someone do that to her?”
 
“I've never know Rose without Jose to support her. I'm not sure she could or would want to do anything alone. I should go to bed, but next time you get to talk.”
 
“Deal.” She starting heading to bed and I couldn't help but smile at our conversation. I liked Anna. Not like a girlfriend, but more than a friend. Right as she made it to the stairs, she stopped to say something.
 
“You're sweet Sam. Most people think you're a jerk, but I see you.” The icing on the cake, Anna saw and wasn't running away.
 
 
 
5
 
 
It was our first away game and my first game as an exile. Lola still had every female on the bus hating me and most of them were dating guys on the team who they kept busy. I was avoiding Mitch, afraid I might give something away if we talked. I honestly had no idea what was going on in his life. I purposely avoided anything that had to do with their sick triangle. When the bus rolled off, I settled in for a long ride alone.
 
“Your turn.” A small hand had pulled my IPOD out of my ear. It was Anna smiling next to me.
 
“Okay, what do you want to know?”
 
“Why every girl on the squad hates you.”
 
“Ah. That would be because I broke up with Lola and I wasn't very nice about it.”
 
“That's not very specific.”
 
“I really don't think you want to hear about it.”
 
“Okay, you don't have to tell me. But keep in mind, I've already heard her version, so whatever you're gonna say has to be better.” If she'd heard from Lola, then she knew we'd had sex and then I broke up with her. Yet she was still sitting here, happy to be with me.
 
“All right. Lola and I dated for a few months. Before I dated Lola, I was still a virgin. Almost all of my friends aren't and there was a lot of pressure to just get it over with. I know that's stupid, but it really affected me, and I'm not gonna lie to you, part of me wanted to do it.” That was the gist of it, leaving every detail about troy out of course.
 
“So what happened?”
 
“Instead of brining us closer, like it should have, it kinda sent me running. I just wasn't that interested in her anymore. So now you know why I'm a complete jerk.”
 
“Why? It's better you ended it now instead of staying with her when you didn't like her. You'd have just been using her.” This is why Anna is so great. She completely gets me. Okay, not the gay parts, but she thinks like me. “You just need to find the right person.” Funny that she said person and not girl.
 
After the game, I pried her for more about herself. I really wanted to know more about who she was.
 
“Okay, tell me about your family.”
 
“Well, my mom is vice president of Creston Hills credit union and my dad is the head Chef at the country club.”
 
“Hey maybe my dad knows your mom. He's the president at another bank.”
 
“Maybe, I'll ask her sometime.”
 
“So are you guys from Mexico or some other place like that?” She laughed a little before answering.
 
“Well, my grandparents were from Mexico. They got married there and actually had my Uncle. Then they moved here. Some of my great aunts and uncles already lived here. That's why so many of us are cousins. It started off as one family moving here, then more and more came here because there was already family to help the others get on their feet.”
 
“That makes sense.”
 
“Yeah. We call ourselves cousins, even if it's really distant, like 5th cousins. We don't see much of a difference between a second cousin and fourth cousin. It's all `my cuz' to us.” She tried to sound Mexican for a minute and I laughed at her bad impersonation.
 
“I know, I'm a terrible Mexican.” Her laugh made her face beautiful. It made me smile just to look at her. I wished for once that I didn't love Troy. For the first time, in a long time I didn't want to want him. I wanted to want Anna. She was close enough to me now that it was easy to take her face in my hands and kiss it. Slowly she pulled away from me and closed her eyes.
 
“Sam. I don't know if I can do that.”
 
“Why? Do you not feel that way?”
 
“I feel that way, but I'm not sure how it will work.”
 
“Anna, if you want this, we'll make it work.” Moving slowly, she came back into me. This time the kiss lasted long enough for me to appreciate her soft, smooth lips.
 
“I'm not like Lola Sam. It will have to be slow.”
 
“I know. That's what I like about you.”
 
“I don't think you get me. I'm not even sure if I could have sex without marriage.” Okay, slow didn't cover it, but whatever. Part me wasn't sure I ever wanted to have sex with a girl again. That was crap, I could feel a very big part of me that wanted to have sex with Anna, but I could keep it under control.
 
“Anna, can we just try?”
 
“We can try.”
 
 
6
 
 
 
Time was going fast with the start of basketball. Most of my time had been going to studying and now all of it was taken up with the two. Anna was vital in two parts of my world; home and basketball. When she came over, we were seldom alone. That was a good think because I didn't want to be tempted to push her too fast. Anna's pureness and virtue was one of the most appealing things about her. Plus we still hadn't told anyone. I didn't want my parents putting a nix in Anna's sleepovers and she wasn't sure what her family would think.
 
During home games, we talked a little, but she cheered for JV and I was Varsity, but on the road we spent nearly every moment together. The long bus rides there and back had given us time to learn every detail of each other's lives, well almost. I looked forward to her and she seemed to be just the thing I needed to get through losing Troy. Eventually the time came for us to branch our relationship out into the real world.
 
About a month into the season, a strange sight greeted me in the stands. Troy was there with Essie and Kevin. Part of me jumped for joy at the sight of him taking interest in me for the first time in months, but the other half was pissed because all the work I had put in to forgetting him was just about to be wasted. Then Anna found me. It was as if she sensed I needed her to find me.
 
She didn't say anything to me, she didn't need to. Instead, she took up my hand in hers and smiled a smile so sweet that I could forget about Troy for just a minute. Then Anna surprised me by pulling my face to hers for a kiss. It was quick and simple, but made a huge statement in more ways than one. When she pulled away, the first face I saw was Jose, who was livid. The next I saw was Troy, who looked a little horrified.
 
Needless to say, I played a horrible game. Mitch was also playing like crap. We lost by twenty.
 
After the game, Jose found me first. He didn't threaten me to a dual or anything, but instead suggested we get together soon. Anna assured me he just wanted to check out the guy his little sister was dating. Were we telling people now? Apparently so. Before I could even process that, Troy was next to me. There was so much energy and emotion between us that I felt like anyone would see right through us. The gym was slowly emptying and I had nowhere to run.
 
“What?” I tried to sound annoyed.
 
“We need to talk.” The sound of his voice had the same effect on me as it always did, but the hard edge was confusing me.
 
“Is that why you came tonight?”
“You could say that.” Essie and Kevin had disappeared, leaving me to wonder how long this talk was going to take. Anna was already making her way back to me.
 
“Are you ready? Oh, I'm sorry. I should say hi. I'm Anna.” She nudged me to let me know I should have been the one to introduce her. “Sometimes Sam doesn't realize when he's being rude,” She was being playful while she spoke, making Troy's eyes grow dark, but he didn't say anything.
 
“Anna this is Troy. Actually, I'm going to have to pass tonight. Troy needs a favor and I owe him one.”
 
“Okay. I'll see you tomorrow then?”
 
“Yeah.” This time I was the one to lean into her for a quick kiss goodbye.
 
I drove straight to Troy's house, assuming it would be free for us to talk. He led the way back to his bedroom and everything suddenly felt familiar. It had been almost three months since our break up, but it was feeling like yesterday. Everything in his room was the same. Troy's voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
 
“What are you doing Porter?” The icy tone was still there. I knew exactly what he meant.
 
“Getting over you. You haven't spoken to me once since that night on the courts. What do you want me to do, be alone?”
 
“Yeah. Of course I want you to be alone. Do you think I want to see you with someone else? And what's even worse than the fact that she is a sweet little innocent girl, is that you actually have feelings for her. How is that possible Porter?” He knew me so well my feelings for Anna were clear to him.
 
“She just gets me and takes me as I am.”
 
“Except for the gay part right?”
 
“The gay part doesn't always matter with her. I mean, I am attracted to her.” This part hurt him most. My attraction for Troy was what he thought made him special to me. He slunk back onto the bed and put his face into his hands.
 
“Are you attracted to her like you're attracted to me?” Well of course not, but what right did he have to want to know.
 
“That's none of your business anymore. All you need to know is that Anna is important to me and she trusts me.” My head was pulling me towards the door, but there was something I was curious about too. “Why did you come tonight?” He sat up, took his hands away from his face so he could look at me.
 
“There've been rumors going around. People are saying that you and Anna are dating. I couldn't believe it until I saw it.” He had let his guard down and I knew if I wanted to I could have him tonight. Troy was almost like a drug to me, calling me to take a piece of him, but I just thought of Anna. Could I hide it from her? Did I want to have to look at her face after a betrayal like this? No. I had to leave.
 
“Porter, stay.” It wasn't a request as much as it was an order. My arms became alert with goose bumps, as did other parts and a chill ran down my back, but I didn't turn around.
 
“I won't do that to her. Not for what you're willing to give me.”
 
“You don't know what I'm willing to give.” He'd already made it very clear what he wanted from me and nothing more, unless. . .
 
“Have you changed your mind?”
 
“Yes.” My heart stopped beating for just a second. He was finally saying what I had wished for these past months and I wasn't sure.
 
“Why?”
 
“Because I'd rather risk getting my heart broken again than watch you fall in love with someone else.” I still wasn't looking at him because I knew if I did, I wouldn't be able to leave that room and I had to leave that room.
 
Somehow I managed to drag myself out of the room and down the hallway. About halfway down, I stopped. His pull on me was still so strong. I wanted him, every part of him so much more than I wanted Anna. Anna was safe, easy for me to care about maybe even love. But Troy made my soul sing, Anna would never do that. Before my thoughts could clear up I was back in his room. Troy's look when I entered was far from surprised.
 
“Get down.” Again Troy was commanding me. I was expecting him to take me in his arms and tell me how happy and relieved he was that I came back. Instead he was ordering me in that voice again. That voice that commanded. I obeyed, wondering what he was doing, but I didn't wonder for long. He was behind me, hands working like mad to get to what he wanted.
 
“That took longer than I thought Porter, or should I say Sam.” He tried to sound like Anna, taunting me. “Did you really think she could give you what you wanted?” His fingers were teasing, demonstrating, waiting for my answer.
 
“Troy.” I was begging for him not to make me answer, not to degrade me any further. But he wouldn't stop, wouldn't finish, making me ache for it. “No!” I half shouted when I couldn't take it anymore. Everything suddenly stopped, except for his voice in my ear.
 
“Apparently, I need to remind you of a few things.” He continued talking to me like a parent to a child who has been bad. Then he started doing what I had never let him do before. He was rough and it was painful, but also the most pleasurable experience of my life. It didn't take long before I was screaming his name and all thoughts of Anna were pushed away. Troy had been right, I would never be able to walk away from him again.