Ouran High School Host Club Fan Fiction ❯ Fixated ❯ Stage Two: Realization Part I ( Chapter 2 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: I don't own the twins or any of the Host club characters.
Warning: Yaoi-incest, cursing, angst-the basics, if you do not like any of that, or cannot tolerate it then do not read.
Author Note: Editing and re-posting...


Realization
Part I

The weekend sucked, plain and simple. There was no other way to say it. Hikaru couldn’t sleep without his twin next to him and Kaoru couldn’t either. He spent his time locked up in his room eating only when he absolutely needed to, mainly when he began to get a headache. Even then he didn’t leave his room-he had the maids fetch a simple meal for him.

Sunday was when he forgot to lock his door. It was around one AM when he realized he should attempt sleeping, and so he did after setting the alarm on his phone. Kaoru was about half asleep when his door opened and Hikaru walked in. The older of the two climbed into bed with his brother without a word. Kaoru didn’t think much of this with his sleepy mind.

That was until Hikaru pulled him close. He was feeling clingy having not been able to be around his other half for the whole weekend. This was something that may not have seemed like much, but to the twins it was something. They never spent more then an hour or two apart in their whole lives.

Kaoru opened his eyes when he felt Hikaru’s warmth on his back. It felt nice to him and so he became flustered and blushed lightly.

It was some time later when Hikaru was officially asleep that he began to mumble. He was dreaming, which wasn’t all that weird but he was sort of speaking… No, to Kaoru it didn’t sound like speaking, it sounded more like moaning, whimpering even. That and the breathing on the back of his neck was doing something to his insides. He was beginning to feel an ache in his body.

There was another sound and more breathing. Kaoru bit his lip, loving the warmth of his twin’s breath as it fell onto his neck in soft rhythmic puffs and then… Hikaru licked his lips.

That’s when it happened, when the younger realized something - the something that had been wrong all along. Kaoru closed his eyes tightly trying his best to will the thoughts, the images away. They didn’t though-only got stronger with Hikaru’s mumbles. The younger strawberry blond sat up a little, as silently as possible, and disappeared into his bathroom.

He flipped on the blinding white light and locked the door. His heart was racing and his head was numb. Kaoru slid down the door, no longer trying to deny what was happening. He looked down at his problem and bit his lip. He was hard and what was more he had grown hard from hearing his brother moan and breathe on his neck.

Kaoru let his hand slide down his body and pull his cock out of his boxers. He began to stroke himself, being as silent as possible. He thought of Hikaru, he imagined him kissing him again with his wet and hot tongue. The next time they were to kiss Kaoru would be ready and would enjoy it even more.

He would love to have his twin’s tongue tease his own. He wanted it on his neck, on his torso, on his… Kaoru let out a strangled moan imagining Hikaru’s mouth on his dick. It would feel great, no, better then great.

Kaoru licked his lips. He knew for a fact now that his twin had a skilled mouth and imagining it sucking and licking and nibbling him would be mind-blowing… He gasped as he came into his own hand.

The strawberry blond tilted his head back calming himself down.

Then realization set in. He had just touched himself with the thought of his brother, his twin and he had cum to that thought as well. Kaoru stood and rid himself of his soiled boxers-climbed into the shower. He turned it on extra hot and began to scrub himself. He cleaned himself over and over again until his skin was raw.

Kaoru slumped down onto the floor of his bathtub feeling the burning hot water rain down on him. He hated himself so much at that moment, so very, very much. It was at that moment it happened.


The strawberry blond pulled him self up into a fetal position – similar to Tamaki’s signature one. He didn’t know what to do or think at that moment, all he knew was that he had done something incredibly wrong and if anyone was to find out he would be taken away from Hikaru.

Kaoru trembled at that thought and clung to his legs even tighter. It took sometime for him to turn the shower off and feel confident enough to move. When he did, he reached for a towel that was hanging up near by. He had no intention of going back to sleep in his room, nor did he have any intention of leaving the bathroom.

Hikaru was awoken by his brother’s phone. He turned the alarm off and sat up. He was in the middle of wondering where his other half was when he noticed the bathroom door was shut. The older strawberry blond went over and knocked on the door.

“Kaoru…” He asked the closed door. Inside the younger twin stirred. He had fallen asleep in the bathtub after drying it. He still hadn’t put any clothes on; he had stayed true to his words and had not left the small room.

“Kaoru?” Hikaru called again. This time he received a reply.

“Y-Yes?”

“Are you okay?”

“I-I’m not feeling well… I don’t think I’m going to school today… you should go though…” The younger male’s words were met with silence.

“You sure?” Hikaru asked in a concerned voice.

“Yeah…” The older twin didn’t say anything more than that. He turned and went to get ready for school. He felt nauseous at the thought of being without Kaoru for another day. It couldn’t be helped though, his brother had told him to go anyways and he would, no matter how much he didn’t want to.

Once Hikaru had left for school the younger twin emerged from the bathroom. He quickly got dressed and grabbed his cell phone. He didn't want to stay home-if he did he would be thinking of Hikaru the whole day.

Kaoru slipped out the window after leaving a note on his door saying to leave him alone. It wasn’t hard for him to climb down his house-he used to do it a lot with Hikaru when they were younger. Kaoru disappeared from his house at about eight AM. He knew he wouldn’t need to be back until five, no four PM later that day. That was when the club let out so he would need to be home by that time…

-

Hikaru’s day sucked.

He hated, absolutely hated having to tell his teacher that Kaoru was sick, not to mention Haruhi. Every time he said it, it felt like a stab to his heart. He continued to sulk all day and it was during lunch when Tamaki came to visit Haruhi. He had picked up the habit recently and was deciding to stick to it seeing as what the twins had done on Friday. He was worried about her being left alone with them.

“Where’s the other devil?” The blond lord asked noticing the other half of the menace missing. Haruhi hushed Tamaki instantly, Hikaru apparently hadn’t heard his lord or was ignoring him.

“He’s not here today…” The little raccoon told the older teen once they left the classroom. Tamaki frowned at the news.

“Maybe we should go see him if he’s sick…” It was Haruhi’s turn to frown now.

“How about if he doesn’t come tomorrow, then we can go and see how he’s feeling.” The blond didn’t reply, he was trying to think of why one twin would come to school without the other. They had always missed school together in the past… it was a little odd seeing as they had acted so normally up until last Friday… Tamaki patted Haruhi on the head.

“If we are missing a devil tomorrow then we’ll go visit.” He declared in his regal voice before heading on back to class.

Both twins came to school the next day.

Tamaki came to see Haruhi at lunch again, this time dragging Kyouya with him. The older twin looked out the window in the classroom ignorant of his surroundings while Haruhi sat in between them eating her lunch. Kaoru slept on his desk. He hadn't slept the night before due to Hikaru insisting on staying in the same bed. He hadn't been able to refuse.

“Are you still sick?” The blond asked walking up to Kaoru, clearly enjoying the attention he got from the girls in the class. Kyouya gave a polite hello to Haruhi before taking a seat nearby.

“Hunh?” Kaoru lifted his head up in a slight daze. Despite having been yelled at most of the day for falling asleep he was still attempting to do so.

“If you are still feeling bad you should go home.” It was Hikaru who said this.

“It’s not that I’m feeling bad, it’s just that I didn’t sleep much last night.” Kaoru let his head hit his desk with a light thunk sound.

“I don’t see why you couldn’t sleep. We were next to each other as always…” The younger twin frowned as he mentally replied with ‘that was the problem…’ Hikaru seemed to have heard the internal reply and turned to his other half. He looked a little annoyed.

“Do you not like being around me anymore?” His voice carried a small bit of malice.

“It’s not that…” Haruhi looked at Kaoru as he spoke. He seemed exhausted to her.

“You're mad at me for something, aren’t you…?” Tamaki was frowning now. He truly didn’t know what to say in fear of it making things worse. Kyouya had always told him not to intervene unless he absolutely understood the problem.

“I’m not mad at you.”

“Then why don’t you want to be near me anymore?” Kaoru lifted his head up and looked at Hikaru. He was glaring at him and it hurt. He didn’t want to lie to his brother but he couldn’t help but do so… The truth was worse wasn’t it?

“I need to take a walk…” The younger strawberry blond stood up and headed to the door. It slid open just as he was about to walk out. Anamé stood on the other side, smiling her strange sadistic smile.

“Good morning Kaoru…” The words were like venom seeping from her mouth. It wasn’t the good morning part or her tone of voice or even her smile that disturbed him. It was the name she gave. The strange female could tell one twin from the other, something that no one other than Haruhi could do.

“He-hello…” Kaoru turned to look at Hikaru who just ignored him. The younger teen felt betrayed and violated all at once. He had been rejected and he knew he deserved it, but it still hurt. He turned back to the female who smiled again.

“Can we take a walk together?” She asked plain and simple.

“Sure…” Kaoru felt like he sealed his fate right then and there… and in a way he did. The door was slid shut as the two teens left. They walked down the halls not saying a word until they reached the courtyard out side.

“So how was your weekend?” It was an idle chat, the same idle chat that had started off their last conversation. Kaoru’s stomach churned slightly. He wanted to be back in the classroom with his brother - didn’t care if Hikaru was mad or annoyed with him. He just didn’t want to be alone at that very moment. At least not with the foreign blonde…

“It was…” He paused taking his time to answer, the more time spent on idle chat the less time the conversation had to turn sour. “It was dull…”

“Is that so?” Anamé sounded truly interested, but the younger twin was determined not to be taken in by her act.

“How was yours?” The strawberry blond decided to take the conversation off of him as they walked up to the pond.

“I spent it with Naomi in the shopping district of this town.” She smiled and looked up at the sky. “I was wondering if you would like to go somewhere with me this weekend…”

“I don’t know.” The twin wanted nothing more then to be away from this girl, she was planning something sinister, he could just feel it.

“I really would like you to come…” Anamé turned and smiled at Kaoru with an oddly sweet smile. The twin felt cavities grow in his teeth just looking at her. “I was also going to ask you…” She paused watching some girls who were clearly fans of the twins attempt to hide themselves from view.

“Actually I would like to apologize to you for making you kiss your brother.” Kaoru felt his face flush. He just didn’t want to have to talk about that with the foreign blonde.

“Don’t worry about it…” The younger twin looked away from Anamé and the pond. He could feel her eyes on him, burning holes into his jacket. He felt like she could see right through him, right on through to his heart.

“You liked it though…” Her voice was soft and very, very disturbing.

“What? No!” Kaoru turned and looked at Anamé. She was wearing her sadistic smile now. The blonde took a step towards him and he backed up, feeling himself fluster.

“You deny it?”

“Deny what?” The younger twin felt stupid for saying such a thing.

“Deny how much you liked it.” The blonde took a few more steps forward, Kaoru took some back. She was stepping on some dangerous land mines in the twin’s heart and they both knew it.

“I didn’t like it, it would be weird if I did. He’s my brother.”

“He’s your twin, your other half, the person you have shared your whole life with…” A few more steps and Kaoru’s back collided with something solid, a tree.

“Why would I even like it?” Anamé’s smile grew as she closed the gap in between them.

“Because you are in love with him.” Violated, that was how the twin felt, thoroughly and completely violated. There was no denying the blush that was on his face and he hated, no, he loathed himself at that very moment. “You always have been in love with him haven’t you?” It was creepy how something so small and pretty to look at could scare him so easily. He felt his stomach turn over as she waited for an answer.

“I wonder why no one else has noticed it. You willingly play… oh what is that word, Ah yes… You willingly play the uke and allow your brother touch you and hold you in ways that normally would be inappropriate yet… no one has noticed. I find it very odd that no one else has realized how much affection you have for him…” Anamé took a step closer. There was no more space in between the two. She knew people were watching and they had no real clue as to what was going on but she couldn’t care less.

“I wonder…” Anamé pulled Kaoru’s face closer to hers. “Maybe no one noticed your love for your twin because you yourself didn’t even know…” The strawberry blond was speechless, his mind was racing and all he could think about was getting away from Anamé. He wanted to hide somewhere, he wanted to melt into the earth at that moment, he wanted his brother, he wanted Hikaru to come and save him.

That was when Anamé did something horrible and despicable and vile and every other word that could be used to describe it. She kissed him with her poison, venomous mouth.

The foreign blonde pulled away feeling exultant. Anamé turned to look to her left. Hikaru stood there looking shocked and out of breath. He had come to save Kaoru but he had been too late, he had been poisoned - infected...

Kaoru wanted to die at that very moment, he had been violated and his brother had seen. He felt his body go numb; truly felt poisoned. The bell rang for the end of lunch but the twins didn’t hear it. Kaoru looked away feeling horribly ashamed of himself. Then Anamé spoke. She said something that just made everything worse, that made Kaoru hate himself even more because his brother heard it.

“I’ll see you this weekend…” And she walked off. Kaoru could feel her smiling to herself. She knew she had just destroyed a relationship that could never be repaired.

The twins turned and went back to class.

“Boys you're late…” Their teacher was about to scold them but the two didn’t stop to allow it to happen. Hikaru sat down in his seat looking way past angry and on into infuriated. Whereas Kaoru packed his things up.

“Where are you going?” Their teacher asked as he headed towards the door. “Hitachiin?” The adult’s voice was filled with a warning.

The younger twin stopped and looked back at his teacher and replied with a simple sentence that anyone could understand. “Will you just shove it for today.” and with that he left the room in a stunned silence.

Hikaru gave no reaction and just stared out the window. Haruhi turned to the older twin to ask about the other but stopped herself. It would seem nosey of her to ask right away, and not only that but the whole class would end up hearing. Obviously something happened that the twins may not want everyone to know about.

The rest of the day seemed obsolete and completely useless. Hikaru, Haruhi and pretty much the rest of the class paid no attention to the lectures given or any of the work. It was only when the bell rang did any of the students seem to perk up. Hikaru however still seemed angry. He packed his things up and left the room instantly, before giving Haruhi a chance to speak to him. She, like the rest of the students, was curious as to what had happened to make the twins act so strangely.

Hikaru still went to the Host Club. Tamaki and everyone else was there putting up the days theme: Roman Gods. Hunny was running around in a sort of toga dragging Bun-Bun, who was also in a toga. Mori was putting up some random pieces of cloth to help make the room look like a Roman Temple. Tamaki turned and beamed a smile at Hikaru as he entered the room. He knew instantly something was wrong, and if he knew that something was wrong everyone else could definitely tell.

Kyouya frowned at Kaoru’s absence. It was after Hikaru had changed out of his school uniform and into the toga like outfit was he asked about his other half.

“He went home.” Hikaru’s reply was stiff and un-caring.

“When?” Kyouya frowned as the older twin fixed the pin that held his hair back and out of his eyes.

“After lunch.” The dark haired teen frowned before making a note in his book.

“Do you know what Miss Anamé wanted?” The question, or rather the blonde’s name, sent an almost visible chill up his spine.

“No…” His reply was cold and distant. Kyouya frowned even more so at the remark before making another note in his book. He fixed his glasses giving a warning look at the strawberry blond before heading off in the other direction.

Surprisingly, he did quiet well as a host for the day. The girls who came to see him seemed to think that he was acting temperamental because his brother had gone home without him. That however was just a conceited lie he let them believe. It was only after the club was over did Haruhi get a chance to speak with Hikaru. She stood outside the dressing room waiting for him to finish changing.

“Yes?” He didn’t mean to but he snapped at the little raccoon.

“I was just wondering if everything was okay…” She sounded a little hurt but more concerned than anything else.

“I’ll be fine, I’m just pissed…”

“About what?” Her question came too quickly for her to have been able to stop it. There was a pause before a response in which the older twin pulled his shirt on.

“About Kaoru,” He snapped again not sure why he hated how she was asking questions.

This time it was the female’s turn to pause. She knew she was stepping into dangerous territory but her concern, as she called it, was pushing her to go on. “What did Kaoru-kun do?”
The question was met with a grumble and some rustling as Hikaru put his jacket and tie back on.“He betrayed me…” The twin walked out of the makeshift changing room and on past the raccoon. The other club members had already left.

“Betrayed…?” It left the girls mouth before she could stop it. Her ‘concern’ was becoming too great. The twin looked at Haruhi and scowled at her before frowning. He wasn’t mad at her and he had snapped at her already.

“Look it’s just none of your concern…” and with that he turned and left the music room. Haruhi headed on home wondering and worrying about what Kaoru had done to ‘betray’ his brother.

When she walked up to her front door she found quite a shock sitting in front of it. The other twin sat in a fetal position showing no acknowledgment to her presence.

“Kaoru-kun?” She asked. It had to be the younger twin; the elder’s hair was parted to the other side… right? The strawberry blond looked up sleepily at the sound of his name.

“What are you doing here?” The female asked as the twin stood up. She opened the front door and the two of them walked in before Kaoru gave an answer. His voice was quiet and soft and sounded as if he had been crying. His eyes also said the same.

“I-I don’t want to go home…” There was no answer the female could think of to give the other. Instead she wanted to comfort him, in which she did. Haruhi hugged Kaoru and let him hold onto her.

“Would you like to tell me what happened?” She asked in a kind way. Kaoru nodded before allowing himself to be led into the living room. He sat down at a small table as Haruhi got up to make some tea. When she came back he told her. He told her all of what Anamé had done and what Hikaru had seen her do. He did however leave out most of the conversation she had with him, mainly all of what she had said of his fixation for his brother, his twin.

When he finished speaking there was silence, Haruhi didn’t know what to make of the foreign blonde. She wasn’t sure if she could offer much words of comfort either, but she tried. Kaoru seemed to calm down but at the cost of him becoming quite. He had stopped talking and begun to pay more attention to the TV.

It was well after dark when the little raccoon’s father came home. He took one look at the twin and frowned. “Haruhi,” He looked at his daughter who smiled at him.

“Hi dad…”

“Can we talk in the kitchen?” (1) The girl nodded and followed her father into the other room. He made sure to stand out of sight and kept his voice low.

“Haruhi why is one of those twins here at eight at night?” Her father didn’t sound angry or upset, he just sounded curious and worried.

“He… Something happened at school during lunch and I thought he went home but I guess he came here because when I got home he was sitting in front of our door…” Haruhi paused and frowned, she wasn’t sure if she should tell her father but she did. “He said he didn’t want to go home.”
Silence followed her statement. Her father clearly wasn’t sure of what to say and if he did he was debating on how to say it. Ranka sighed before he spoke. “Do you know why he doesn’t want to go home?” Haruhi shook her head, she wasn’t going to say anything about Anamé. It wasn’t her place to tell other people.

“Oi,” Ranka called to Kaoru from the kitchen. The teen turned to look at the raccoon’s father. “Are you wanting to stay the night?”

Kaoru thought a second. He really hadn’t thought her father would ask that but he had. The younger twin knew if he didn’t come home Hikaru would worry, if he was capable of doing that through his anger. He doubted that he would get in any real trouble seeing as their parents were both in New York. Their mother was promoting her next fashion line and wouldn’t be home in another two or three weeks, whereas their father was working with his software company on some new sort of deal.

“You’ll let me?” Kaoru’s voice was soft and childlike and he hated it, it made him feel really stupid.

Ranka nodded in response to the twin. “I know you won’t do anything to harm my little Haruhi, it’s the blond idiot that I should be worried about.” Ranka smiled at the twin before turning to Haruhi. “Now what are we having for dinner?”

The rest of the night could be pretty much described as normal. Haruhi made dinner and then showered while Ranka pulled out a futon for Kaoru. He made his bed and put him towards the corner of the room that had a window. Haruhi’s futon was in her bedroom and the same went for her fathers. The next day came quickly and when the twin awoke Ranka was already gone.

“He went to run some errands,” Haruhi said serving the twin breakfast. She sat down across from him and began to eat her own.

“I don’t know if I’m going to go to school…” Kaoru had been debating the whole idea in his mind for a while now.

“Are you going home?” Haruhi asked reaching for her drink. Kaoru thought about it, unsure of what he really was going to do if he didn’t go to school.

“Yeah I think I will…” The cell phone that the twins had given to Haruhi rang making the two teens jump a little. She reached over and stared at the screen.

“It’s your brother…”

“I’m not here.” Kaoru said quickly. The little raccoon opened the phone and said very politely, “Hello.”

“Hi…” Hikaru’s voice was muffled through the phone but Kaoru could still make out what he said. “Have you um…” There was a pause suggesting that Hikaru didn’t really want to say anymore.

“Have I what?” Kaoru stood up and headed over to his school jacket. He pulled out his own cell phone and turned it on. He waited a second before it told him he had missed 20 calls, all from Hikaru.

“Have you seen Kaoru?” Haruhi looked over at the strawberry blond who shook his head.

“No, why?” She asked trying to sound concerned.

“I haven’t seen him since yesterday…” There was a pause before the older twin spoke again. “Don’t worry about it, I’m sure I’ll see him tonight or at school, I’ll see you in a little while.” Hikaru hung up on Haruhi after that and she flipped the phone shut.

“He’s worried about you…” She told him.

“I know.” Kaoru put his jacket on and began to straighten himself up. “I-I’m going to go home now… I’ll see you tomorrow…” Kaoru headed towards the front door and said goodbye to her before leaving.

--

Hikaru looked very tired when Haruhi saw him in class. He was staring out the window looking like he was ill. The little raccoon walked over and set her school bag down next to her. She sat in her seat and looked at the older twin. She wanted to say something but she wasn’t sure what. Haruhi couldn’t tell him not to worry about Kaoru. After all she wasn’t supposed to know where he was either.

“Hikaru-kun…” Haruhi began to speak but was given no acknowledgment of being there. She looked away and waited for the bell to ring. Hikaru didn’t move when it did either. He was like that the rest of the day and when lunch came he refused to eat. Haruhi frowned outwardly before deciding to take a walk. She left the room and headed on down the hall walking in pretty much a daze. She was worried about Kaoru, but not in the same way Hikaru was worried about him.

Haruhi stopped walking when she heard a slightly disturbing laugh. She looked up and saw Anamé and Naomi talking with a slightly nervous looking Nekozawa. They were speaking in another language. It wasn’t English otherwise the little raccoon would have understood parts of it.

In the middle of trying to figure out what language it was the foreign blonde noticed her. She smiled her strange smile at Haruhi and it was then that the raccoon understood why Kaoru disliked the girl so much. She gave off a disturbing feeling that would make anyone feel ill or, in Nekozawa’s case, nervous.

“Hello,” Naomi smiled at Haruhi. She was nowhere near as odd as her cousin and actually had an adverse affect on her. She made her feel calm and rather content.

“Hello.” Haruhi replied as kindly as she could. She found herself wishing for someone to come and take her away from there, she really wanted the bell to ring at that moment. Then it dawned on her that this was how Kaoru must have felt yesterday when he was forced to be alone with the blonde. When the thought had surfaced in the raccoon’s mind she turned around and there to her joy was the idiotic blond lord walking down the hall. He had apparently gone looking for her when he had found that she wasn't in her class.

“Sorry, I have to go.” Haruhi smiled politely at Anamé, Naomi and Nekozawa before turning back around and hurrying off towards Tamaki.

“Hi,” She greeted him enthusiastically, only he frowned.

“What’s wrong with Hikaru-kun?” Haruhi frowned at this question. She had averted her eyes from the blond now.

“He-he’s worried that’s all…” She kept her eyes away from Tamaki hoping that if she didn’t look at him she would have to say no more. But that wasn’t the case.

“Worried about what?” The blond was both concerned and intrigued by what Haruhi had said.

“Ka-Kaoru-kun…” She dropped her voice. “He didn’t go home last night…”

The bell for class rang.

“Sorry I have to go to class, we can discuss this later okay?” Tamaki stared at the female a second before nodding. She then left him and headed back to class.

Hikaru still sat in his seat staring out the window, waiting for school to be over. It did end eventually, just it took way to long, or at least it felt very long. Haruhi left for the host club right away like she had been doing for most of the week. Hikaru on the other hand took his time in heading there. He arrived a couple of minutes before the club was going to let their patrons in.

“I’m here…” He grumbled walking into the room.

“Hikaru-kun, go home.” Kyouya said almost instantly. It was odd hearing the vice president of the club say that after having lectured everyone about being on time and present.

“Why, I’m here today…” Hikaru stood by the door looking at the dark haired teen, unsure if he should venture any farther into the room.

“Go home, if you do we can tell all your patrons that you weren’t feeling well today. They’ll believe it by how you’ve been acting.” The older twin didn’t have the will to argue so he turned and left the room after that. He pulled his phone out, turned it on and called for his ride to pick him up. That’s when he realized he had received a message that day.

After telling the driver to come pick him up he looked at the message. He felt overjoyed at seeing it was from Kaoru, but just as fast as his happiness came it left. The message from his brother was brief and discomforting.

It stated: I’m home and I’m fine so don’t worry. It didn’t consist of any sort of explanation or even an ‘I’m sorry’.

Kaoru sat at home in his room. He was feeling a bit nauseous and unsure of himself. He had sent the message to his brother awhile ago. It had taken him almost an hour to make but now he felt like he shouldn’t have said anything at all. The younger twin knew his brother would be home in about an hour or so, maybe sooner if he didn’t go to the club.

Kaoru felt nervous. This was worse than having to wait for his parents to come home and scold him. He pulled his legs up to his chin and sat in a bit of a fetal position in the corner of his room. He had closed his curtains long ago when he had shut his door refusing to leave his room.

The strawberry blond hated himself right now. He was beginning to regret having not called or even not coming home last night. The thoughts continued to swirl in his head as they had all day, making him a nervous wreck. There was a faint sound of someone running up the stairs. It was his brother, he knew it. But had that much time really passed?

The younger twin stole a glance at the clock-it really had. The sound of Hikaru running upstairs came closer and became louder. Kaoru felt his stomach turn and he wanted to vomit so badly at that moment, but what was more was that he wished he didn’t have to face his brother either.

The door opened slowly and Hikaru walked in panting and out of breath from having run all the way upstairs. He stared at his other half in the corner of the room. He wanted to run over and hug him, but he also wanted to yell at him.

Hikaru felt indecisive at the moment, so all he could do was stare, and stare he did. The twins neither spoke nor moved for a while and then the phone rang giving the older of the two a start. Hikaru walked over to the phone in Kaoru’s room after letting it ring two more times. He decided to answer it to make it shut up.

“Hello?” His voice cracked slightly as he spoke.

“Hi, it’s mom,” there was silence that followed their mother’s voice. It was a shocked silence that radiated through the phone. “Surprised to hear from me?”

“A little…” Hikaru had no idea what to say to his mother at the moment. Then he began to worry if one of the maids appointed to look after him and his brother said only one had come home… No it couldn’t be that, she would have sounded worried… right?

“Let me guess this is Hikaru right?”

“Yeah.”

“Something wrong?”

“…” Silence followed his mother’s question, a long silence that ended with her speaking again.

“Hikaru is something wrong?” She sounded much more serious now.

“N-no, I’ve just had a long day…”

“I understand, how’s Kaoru doing?”

“He’s fine, sleeping right now, but fine.”

“That’s good… I just wanted to see how my boys were doing seeing as I hadn’t heard from you in a while. “

“Yeah, sorry about that, we’ve been busy with the club.”

“I figured something like that.” There was the sound of someone talking in the background of the phone and then his mother spoke again.

“I’m sorry dear but it looks like I have to go, work is calling.” Hikaru said his goodbyes to his mother as she said hers before hanging the phone up. He set it down on the receiver and then looked at his brother again.

“Mom says hello…” Kaoru didn’t move. He was still afraid to look at his brother. “Kaoru…” Hikaru sounded very unsure of himself at the moment.

“Please don’t disappear without ever telling me again… I don’t care what you’ve done or where you went, just don’t disappear…” With that said Hikaru left his other half’s room. The door shut with a deafening sound that sent shockwaves throughout Kaoru. He felt horrible and wanted nothing more then to not be there.

He climbed in bed and went to sleep.

Kaoru awoke the next day and got ready for school in a blur. He opened his phone up and looked at the time. The strawberry blond had a couple of minutes before it was time for him to leave. It was the Thursday of the third week of November and today was going to be important for him. It was going to be the beginning of his spiral down wards into a place where he would have little hope of returning from - and it would start at lunch…

Stage Two: Realization Part I end…

1) I’m referring to Haruhi’s house for this. I don’t remember the floor plan too well seeing as I don’t own any host club books. I did distort some things in their place if you were wondering about that.

Next is Stage Two: Realization part II

Au Revoir,
~Israfel~