Pirates Of The Caribbean Fan Fiction / Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ Pirates of the Caribbean: At Wit's End ❯ Treading the Copyright Infringement Waters ( Chapter 4 )

Chapter Four: Treading the Copyright Infringement Waters

 

[The scene cuts to…water. Ensuring that we have not forgotten that this series has some good FX, the Flying Person-of-Dutch-Extraction comes barreling from underwater and starts shooting the ever-loving shit out of some neighboring boats. The scene cuts to the captain's quarters of some East India Company ship. Model ships are being pushed around a large map {Author's Note: Pay attention to how many goddamn boats they've got. It will be important (much) later on}. The camera pans to Lord Shadow, holding a piece of eight.]

 

Shadow: Nine pieces of eight?

 

Creepy Shanker Guy: Our new friend was very specific.

 

Shadow: Hmm…nine pieces of eight for nine pirate lords for nine members of the Fellowship for nine dark ri-

 

Creepy Shanker Guy: Sir, that's the wrong movie.

 

Shadow: Oh. Right. So, the nine members of the Fello-

 

Creepy Shanker Guy: Pirate Lords. Nine Pirate Lords in this movie.

 

Shadow: Huh…still seems close enough for a copyright infringement lawsuit.

 

Creepy Shanker Guy: It's not like it matters. Nothing can stand against the Armada, not while we have the Person-of-Dutch-Extraction on our side.

 

Shadow: Nothing we know of. Do we know where they meet?

 

Creepy Shanker Guy: Rivendell.

 

Shadow: I think you're confused now…

 

Creepy Shanker Guy: Sorry, sir.

 

Shadow: Hell, what's your excuse? You weren't even in those movies…

 

Creepy Shanker Guy: Right…well, unfortunately, we do not know where they will meet.

 

Shadow: That's a pity. Oh well, keep this information between us…

 

[The camera pans to show the G-Man signing a whole stack of papers. Tails wanders into the room.]

 

Shadow: Ah, Admiral.

 

Tails: You called, Lord Shadow?

 

Shadow: Yes, I have something for you. Something befitting one of your rank.

 

[Shadow waves at a long box, from which Tails pulls out a long sword.]

 

Shadow: Your father's lightsaber. This is the weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as clumsy or random as a blaster. An elegant weapon for a more civilized time…

 

[Everyone stares at Shadow.]

 

Creepy Shanker Guy: You're doing it again, my Lord.

 

Shadow: Fuck.

 

[Some aide hands the G-Man a pile of papers.]

 

G-Man: Not more (swallow) requis-s-s-sitions-s-s-s to s-s-s-sign…

 

Aide: No sir…executions.

 

Soundtrack: DUN-DUN-DUNNN!

 

Shadow: The Pirate Lords know they face extinction…all that is left is for them to decided where they will make their final stand.

 

Creepy Shanker Guy: Rumors have reached my ears that they will make their final stand before the Black Gates of Mordor…

 

Tails: For the love of Christ, does anyone know which movie we're in?

 

Shadow: Do you think it matters? Nobody in the audience is paying attention to this crap anyways. Hell, everything until Knuckles is back onscreen is a waste of time, really. Except for the bat girl's chest. That is most decidedly not a waste of time.