Pirates Of The Caribbean Fan Fiction / Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ Pirates of the Caribbean: At Wit's End ❯ Sexy Party ( Chapter 22 )

Chapter Twenty-Two: Sexy Party

 

[The camera swoops up dramatically to show the Black Pearl and Flying Person-of-Dutch-Extraction sailing side by side. The camera cuts to the poop deck of the Person-of-Dutch-Extraction. Sonic is looking off into the distance when 47 walks up to him.]

 

47: What are your orders, captain?

 

Sonic: Orders? I don't have any for you…you're free…

 

47: Oh, that's nice and all…but I figure I still owe some service to this ship…

 

Sonic: Seriously?! FUCKING SERIOUSLY?! Do you have any idea what the FUCK I've put myself through to unbind you from this ship? You see that chick over on the Pearl with the massive tits? I passed the ability to fuck her every single day for the rest of my fucking life so that I could free you from Big and this ship and now you want to stay?! You couldn't have decided that earlier, you fucking twat? Do you know how much sweet poontang I've missed out on now because of this? You [censored] piece of [censored] [censored] [censored] cock faced [censored] [censored] slimy taint [censored]!

 

47: (totally ignoring Sonic's rant) If you'll have me…

 

Sonic: Okay, let's get this clear, I don't know who told you, but I don't want to be plowed up the ass by you…

 

47: I never suggested that…you're the first person to bring it up…

 

Sonic: (in the most sexually suggestive tone of voice imaginable) On the wheel then, Mister Forty-Seven…

 

47: Aye, Captain Hedgehog.

 

[47 walks up to the wheel, while Sonic stares off to what a quick camera cut reveals is Rouge, staring back at him. The camera quickly cuts back to the poop deck of the Person-of-Dutch-Extraction. 47 looks at Sonic.]

 

47: This ship has a purpose, you know. And where we go, she can not follow. A decade at sea, one day at port. It's a steep price to pay.

 

Sonic: That's what I was just saying…but I can't change that now. Of course…it all depends on the one day, if you get my drift…

 

47: You think you can engage in ten years worth of sexing in one day?

 

Sonic: I am the fastest thing alive.

 

47: That might not be the best thing in this case…but still, go with all speed my son, and tap that ass like it ain't ever been tapped before.

 

[The scene cuts back to Rouge on the Black Pearl's bridge. Boris walks up to her.]

 

Boris: Comrade Lady, your vessel is ready.

 

[Rouge turns to look at a small life raft hanging over the edge of the Pearl.]

 

Boris: The oars are inside, comrade.

 

[Rouge, followed by Boris, descends onto the main deck, where the entire cast of the movie is assembled, all grinning because they know Rouge is gonna get fucked real soon. Eggman is first in line in the front row. He bows stiffly.]

 

Eggman: Mrs. Hedgehog.

 

[Next up are Megabyte and Cervantes.]

 

Megabyte: We'll miss you.

 

Cervantes: (dabbing his eyes with a tissue) Arr…arr.

 

[Rouge moves down the line. Gordon Freeman nods gravely at her. Arthas curtsies.]

 

Boris: Pansy…

 

[Ryudo smiles at Rouge, an act that warps his face into a hideous caricature of humanity. The Random Midget and Wind Waker Link ignore Rouge entirely as they are too busy gazing into each others' eyes. Rouge walks past them and stops at Knuckles.]

 

Rouge: You know, bravo, well done.

 

Knuckles: You should be thanking me in a less sarcastic tone, I did save your husband's life

 

Rouge: And condemned him to be at sea for a decade at a time! I can only see him once every ten years!

 

Knuckles: Eh, you'd grow bored of each other anyways.

 

Rouge: You have some serious problems.

 

Knuckles: I sure do. But maybe its time you go ashore and have some fun, savvy?

 

Rouge: Okay…oh, and by the way, before I go, all of you guys on this ship right now, you're all pervs. Just putting it out there. And stop grinning like idiots! Sure, I'm about to get laid, but all the leering is unnecessary.

 

[The scene cuts to sandy shore. Two crossed swords are planted in the sand {Author's Note: Get it? It's sexual symbolism!}.]

 

Sonic: (moaning in the distance) Oh! You touch my ding-ding-dong!

 

[The scene cuts to Sonic pulling his boots on. Or boot.]

 

Sonic: You know, I will need the other one.

 

[Rouge walks up, wearing not much of anything at all. Pretty much the equivalent of a leather potato bag, cut low to reveal some cleavage. She's wearing Sonic's other boot on her left leg. She smiles. Sonic leans down in front of her, and pulls the boot off, revealing one long, bare leg. Sonic begins running his face and hands up along her leg. The camera cuts to Rouge's face, who is definitely enjoying whatever it is Sonic is doing with his hands.]

 

Rouge: Oh yes…that's it…higher…higher…wait, too high!

 

[The camera cuts back to Sonic and his wet fingers {Author's Note: Did we just miss something here?}. He looks up to Rouge.]

 

Sonic: It's almost sunset…

 

[The camera turns to the seas, where the Flying Person-of-Dutch-Extraction waits in front of the setting sun. Back on the beach, Sonic gets up and walks towards the small rowboat on the shore. He grabs a cloak from a pile of rocks, underneath which is the chest.]

 

Sonic: This is yours now…it always was. Will you keep it safe for me? It'll make a great conversation piece…

 

Rouge: Yes…yes! YES!

 

Sonic: Uh…okay.

 

[Sonic and Rouge rush into each others arms and gaze longingly at…each other. They almost kiss, but don't, and then Sonic walks towards the shoreline. Rouge looks on after him.]

 

Rouge: Sonic! Wait!

 

[She rushes up to him and they kiss passionately. Again. They separate from the kiss after a few minutes and look at each other with more longing.]

 

Sonic: Keep a weather eye on the horizon…for like, the next ten years. I'll show up eventually.

 

[Rouge nods sadly, and Sonic walks off camera. The camera cuts to a wide-shot of the Flying Person-of-Dutch-Extraction. The sun sets. A green flash lights up the screen and the ship is gone. The camera cuts back to Rouge, standing sorrowfully as the water laps around her feet. Somehow, I get the feeling she got a raw deal out of all this…nah, she's probably going to take advantage of the situation and prey on peoples' sympathy and get laid a lot.]