Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction / Sonic Series Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction / Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Universal Deathmatch ❯ Sailor Uranus & Sailor Neptune vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin & Ric Flair ( Chapter 5 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Universal Deathmatch, Fight #5: Sailor Uranus & Sailor Neptune vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin & Ric Flair, WWF style
8-26-02
by Grey Fox

Disclaimer: I'm running out of ideas for smart-ass disclaimers, so I need your help, dear
readers. Give me some ideas for new funny disclaimers by calling me at 1-800-KICKASS.*


*If you couldn't tell I was just joking, go stand in the corner.

Now it's time for another insane edition of Universal Deathmatch. So here's our theme song:


In the not too distant future
Sometime next week I think
A fanfic writer called Grey Fox
Was on a writing streak.

"I'll set up whacked-out fights
The weirdest I can think of!
The audience'll sit and watch them all!
As they laugh their asses off!"

Now keep in mind only Grey Fox knows
When these fights begin and end.
And he's gonna watch all of 'em
With his deathmatch hosting friends.

Roll Call!

Sailor Mercury! (Mercury Aqua Mirage!)
Stone Cold Steve Austin! (Y'know what my watch is sayin'?)
Deathworks! (MERCURY RULZ!)
and Harry Potter and friends! (Don't you ever say anything else?!)

Now if you're wondering how they're all here
And other science facts.
Just remember it's only a deathmatch fic
So shut the hell up and relax!
And watch Universal Deathmatch, Fight #5!

(girly blood-curdling scream of agony)

Cut to Washu's secret lab, with Washu just entering.

Washu: OK Ridley, I just thought of another invention of mine I can test out on you.....

The table Ridley is supposed to be on is empty, the metal shackles twisted up and broken, and
Ridley is nowhere to be seen.

Washu: Uh-oh.........

************

Back to inside the stadium. Harry, Ron, and Draco have retaken their seats, in reasonable shape
after eating a ricochet bomb last chapter.

Harry: Wonder when Hermione's gonna get back.
Ron: Not to mention that sack of putrid rotting meat that calls himself Nemesis.
Draco: Honestly, I'm not sure which one of them is worse.
Harry: I'll be sure to tell Hermione you said that.
Draco: Bite me.

The Nemesis returns and sits back down, wearing a Mickey Mouse ears hat, and holding a foam
hand pointy thingie in his right hand and a huge Slurpy in his left.

Harry and Ron: o_O
Draco: Do you take pride in being disturbing?
Nemesis: Yep.
Draco: Well, at least you said something besides......
Nemesis: SSTTTAARRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSS.............
Draco: -_-

Now Hermione comes back and retakes her seat, wearing a big grin on her face.

Ron: Hey Draco, now your two favorite people in the whole wide world are back to keep you
company.
Draco: (to Ron) Shut up. (to Hermione) So, did you find another ladies' room that was working,
or did you have to use the mens' room urinals again?
Hermione: (says nothing and takes out her mallet)
Draco: (quickly puts on hard hat) HA!
Hermione: Don't get so cocky. I've just remembered another way I can hurt you.
Draco: Oh yeah, like what?
Hermione: (takes out wand and points it at Draco's face)
Draco: (all of a sudden Draco flinches and covers his face with his hands, mewling in pain)
Harry and Ron: Huh?
Hermione: Built-in laser pen. (flashes laser at Harry and Ron)
Ron: -_-
Harry: So what's with the happy face? You look like you found out something real good.
Hermione: Oh I did. But you'll have to wait till the end of the chapter to see what it is.
Ron: For some reason I'm dreading this.....
Nemesis: SSTTAAAARRRRSSSSSS.........
Draco: Will you shut up?
Nemesis: (backhands Draco)
Draco: *_*;; I'll take that as a "No" .
Hermione: So........ when's the next match going to begin?
Harry: Why don't you ask him? (jerks a thumb to the commentators' table, whose sole occupant is
Stone Cold Steve Austin, who's playing Dragon Ball Z: The Legacy of Goku on his GBA)
Hermione: -_-;; OK, the GBA thing is getting kind of old....
Ron: And is the author ever gonna show up out here again?

As if to answer that question, Grey Fox finally returns after that nasty accident with Pikachu
in chapter 2. He walks on out into the arena and stops right in front of the commentator's
booth.

Grey Fox: Ahem, Steve, what have I said about the GBA?
Steve Austin: Oh, bite me. (puts GBA away)
Grey Fox: I'd rather not. Who knows where you've been.
Steve Austin: Out here. A whole chapter before you came back. Wuss.
Grey Fox: -_-;; As charming as ever, I see....
Steve Austin: Damn straight. I gotta be practicing with the wisecracks if I'm gonna keep doin'
this job.
Grey Fox: Good idea, but your not getting the opportunity this chapter.
Steve Austin: Eh?
Grey Fox: First of all, due to popular demand...
Steve Austin: Really?
Grey Fox: Oh alright, because I just felt like it, I'm bringing back the winners of our second
and third deathmatches to guest star this chapter.

Kirby and Fox McCloud walk on out into the arena, and Spider-Man web swings down from the roof.

Fox McCloud: Hey guys, you look okay after what happened the last time we were here.
Grey Fox: Which Kirby was partly responsible for, might I add.
Kirby: Bite me.
Fox McCloud: So, did you miss us?
Steve Austin: Like we would've missed a removed cancerous tumor.
Kirby: You really need to brush up on your people skills, you know that?
Steve Austin: Up yours, pink one.
Spider-Man: Does he even have one?
Kirby: Oh fuh-nee, Spidey. You're a riot.
Spider-Man: I try.
Grey Fox: Yep, I see that you three are gonna be perfect for what's comin' up next.
Steve Austin: And just WHY are they here?
Grey Fox: Because I say so.
Steve Austin: We've established that, but what's the point?
Grey Fox: They're gonna be doing color commentary this chapter.
Steve Austin: And what the hell am I supposed to do during this deathmatch?
Spider-Man: Buddy, did you even bother to read the title of this chapter?
Kirby: Yeah, you ARE part of the next deathmatch.
Steve Austin: What?!
Kirby: What?
Steve Austin: What?
Kirby: What?
Steve Austin: What?
Kirby: What?
Steve Austin: What?
Kirby: What?
Fox McCloud, Spidey and GF: -_-
Grey Fox: Stop it. And yes Austin, you are in the next deathmatch.
Steve Austin: Aw crap....
Grey Fox: Don't fret, this one'll be right up your alley.
Steve Austin: And why is that?
Grey Fox: (snaps his fingers, and a wrestling ring appears out of nowhere and drops down into the
center of the arena) That answer your question?
Steve Austin: O_o;; How'd you do that?
Grey Fox: My fic, and I can do whatever the hell I want. And don't worry, this is gonna be a tag
match, so you won't have to go at it alone.
Steve Austin: That so? So who's my tag partner?

Some music that would be familiar to long-time wrestling fans starts playing.

Steve Austin: Oh, you don't mean...
Grey Fox: I mean.

Ric Flair struts on out into the arena, wearing a suit and tie get-up. He walks on over to where
Grey Fox and the others are standing. A row of about twenty people in the crowd hold up signs
that collectively spell out "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!".

Ric Flair: Wooooooooo! We're gonna be bustin' some ass tonight! Ain't that right Austin?!
Steve Austin: (turns to Grey Fox) Uhhh, you haven't been watching Raw the last few months, have
you?
Grey Fox: So sue me. I don't get TNN at home and have been unable to watch it since I came back
from college.
Spider-Man: Besides, we know that anything that happens on the show is all part of a
pre-scripted storyline, so don't try playing that card.
Steve Austin: -_-;; Anyway, who are we gonna be teamin' up against?
Fox McCloud: The Dirty Pair maybe? With the way this fic is going, who can tell?
Grey Fox: You didn't bother reading the title of this chapter either, I see. Well, Austin and
Flair will be up against...

Some spiffy violin music starts playing.

Fox McCloud: Is that who I think it is?
Kirby: Yep...

Haruka and Michiru, already in henshined form, walk out into the arena and over to the group.

Steve Austin: Them?
Grey Fox: Of course. You think I'd just relegate them to sitting in the crowd and driving tanks?
Ric Flair: I think I'm gonna enjoy this match.
Kirby: You are a dirty old man.
Ric Flair: Bite me.
Grey Fox: (muttering) Does everyone have to use that line now? (out loud) Ric, just trust me,
they're A LOT tougher than they look, especially Uranus. And whatever you do, DO NOT hit on
them.
Ric Flair: What, are they raging feminists or something?
Grey Fox: No, they're just lesbians.
Steve Austin: Really? I thought they were cousins.
Uranus and Neptune: (really pissed off looks)
almost the entire crowd: WHAT?!!
Fox McCloud: Nice going, Stevie, you just alienated yourself from every damn otaku in the
building.
Kirby: And you were just playing an anime-based game. Shame on you!
Steve Austin: Ugh...
Ric Flair: Don't worry Austin, we still got one person here who's rootin' for us.
Steve Austin: Huh? What're you talkin' about?
Grey Fox: (points to the big-ass gong, where Stephanie McMahon is standing, waving and smiling at
the group)
Spider-Man: She's the new gong ringer? You must be running out of ideas for that position Grey.
Grey Fox: Bite me. (muttering) Heh, finally I get to say it.
Steve Austin: One more thing. Who's reffin' this fight?
Grey Fox: Yours truly, that's who.
Kirby: Don't you need a black-and-white striped shirt to be a ref though?
Grey Fox: No I don't.
Kirby: Why not?
Grey Fox: Because I say so! Now everyone, just get to where your supposed to be, damnit! Let's
get this show on the road.

Kirby, Fox McCloud and Spider-Man sit down behind the commentator's table and put on their
headsets. Spidey's in the center, with Kirby to his right and Fox to his left.

Kirby: So, um, what are we supposed to do here?
Harry: Just do what you saw Grey Fox and the others do.
Spider-Man: In case you've forgotten, we were a little too busy fighting for dear life when we
were here last time to pay attention to what he was doing.
Ron: Just say who's gonna be fighting, tell that girl to ring the gong, and then make bad jokes
about how everyone gets beaten up.
Fox McCloud: Sounds easy enough. (adjusts headset to broadcast to entire crowd) OK everyone, time
to get tonight two-on-two tag match started. In one corner, we have Stone Cold Steve Austin,
bad-ass extreme, and longtime WWF personality Ric Flair.
Kirby: Isn't it called WWE now?
Fox McCloud: Don't correct me.

In the top left corner of the ring stand Austin and Flair. Flair looks anxious to start the
match, while Austin has a "God take me now" look on his face.

Ric Flair: Wooo! C'mon Austin, do the double flip-off thing! Show some enthuiasm!
Steve Austin: You wouldn't be so eager if you knew what kind of crap goes on around here...

Fox McCloud: And in the other corner, we have those two fan-favorites of Sailor Moon-loving
otakus everywhere, Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune.

In the bottom right corner of the ring stand Uranus and Neptune, waving to all the otakus
cheering for them.

Uranus: Finally we get to see some action.
Grey Fox: Oh shut up. You and Michiru got to beat up space pirates and drive a tank before this.
Spider-Man: I guess that does it for introductions.
Kirby: So let's get on with it. (turns to his right and points) Hit it!

Stephanie McMahon rings the big-ass gong, signaling the start of the match.

Fox McCloud: And away we go!

Steve Austin and Sailor Uranus enter the ring and begin circling each other. Then, before Austin
has a chance to act, Uranus runs towards him and spears him, knocking him flat on his ass. And
before he can recover and get up, Uranus hoists him up, and then power bombs him, leaving him
lying on the mat again, and probably in severe pain.

Spider-Man: Ouch, GF wasn't kidding about her being tougher than she looks.
Kirby: Doesn't surprise me. She's the strongest out of all the Sailor Senshi.
Fox McCloud: Wait, I thought that was Jupiter.
Kirby: No, I'm sure it's Uranus.
Fox McCloud: No, it's Jupiter.
Kirby: Uranus.
Fox McCloud: Jupiter.
Kirby: Uranus.
Fox McCloud: Jupiter.
Spider-Man: Gentlemen, don't make me web your mouths shut.
Kirby and Fox M.: ...

Just as Uranus is about to close in on Austin for another assault, he gets up and sweep kicks
her, knocking her off her feet. Acting before she has a chance to recover, Austin grabs her legs
and then catapults her into one of the turnbuckles.

Fox McCloud: Okay, that had to hurt.
Kirby: Well, looks like all of Stevie's ring experience has certainly helped him turn the tables
on Uranus.
Spider-Man: And then probably throw her through one.
Kirby: This isn't a table match Spidey.
Spider-Man: Bite me.
Kirby: Nah, I think I'll do this instead. (sucks up Spider-Man and copies him -- now Kirby's pink
color has changed to red with black webline patterns and has eyes shaped like Spider-Man's mask
eyelets)
Fox McCloud: Okay, that's just plain freaky-looking.

Austin moves in to grab hold of Uranus again, but as he does, Uranus bashes Austin's head with
hers, leaving a nasty-looking tiara-shaped imprint.

Steve Austin: Ow...
Uranus: You ain't seen nothing yet...

Uranus throws Austin into the turnbuckle and runs at him, nailing him with a flying forearm.
Then she grabs hold of one arm, and then climbs the turnbuckle and begin walking on the ropes.
What happens next is predictable: she jumps down from the ropes and hits Austin in the back of
the neck with her fist. While Austin is once again down, Uranus tags Neptune, and she enters
the ring, ready to pick up where Uranus left off.

Spider-Man: (Yoda) Just plain brutal that woman is.
Kirby: Think him saying he thought they were cousins has anything to do with it?
Spidey, Fox M. and Kirby: Nahhhhhhhhh.........

Neptune starts off by raising Austin and having at him with a flurry of relentless punches. But
at one point, Austin is able to block one of her incoming punches and counters with one of his
own, which disorients Neptune momentarily. Austin uses that opening to grab her, and then pull
off a German suplex on her.

Fox McCloud: Austin still has plenty of fight in him, that's for sure.
Draco: Just as long as those ladies lose. I'm still smarting from when they beat me up.
Hermione: Too bad that chapter ended before the readers could see that in all its gloriously
violent detail.
Nemesis: SSTTAARRSS......
Draco: Grrrrr.....

While she's down, Austin pins her. But she's able to kick out before Grey Fox can even make it
past the one-count.

Kirby: And she's got plenty of fight left in her too.
Spider-Man: Otakus the world over are probably eating this up.

Austin does a reverse neckbreaker on Neptune to down her again, and then tags Flair into the ring
so he can join in on the fun, not to mention get the opportunity to rest after Uranus' pounding.

Fox McCloud: Woo! Here comes Nature Boy.
Spider-Man: Just as long as he doesn't live up to the title 'Dirtiest Player in the Game'.
Kirby: If he tries, he'll live to regret it.

Sailor Neptune is still down on the mat as Ric Flair enters the ring, as he takes advantage of
that by trapping her in the figure four hold. But after a while, Uranus gets fed up with it,
and thus enters the ring and slams Flair with her foot, breaking his hold on Neptune. Grey Fox
moves in to get Uranus back into the corner, and while the match's referee is not looking,
Neptune gets up and hits Flair with a low blow -- as in, down there. Flair crumples, leaving him
open for an attack from Neptune.

Kirby: Looks like she can play dirty too.
Draco: Come on! Get up! Kick her ass!
Hermione: Wanna say 'Hi' to the laser pen again?
Nemesis: SSSTTAAAAARRRRSSSSS........
Draco: -_-;; This just isn't my day.....

Neptune catapults Flair into the upper right ring post. Or at least she tries to. Flair flips
right over it, and then he climbs the post. Then he jumps off, nailing Neptune with a missile
dropkick.

Fox McCloud: That looked like it hurt.
Kirby: Well DUH of course that hurt.
Draco: Alright! Go Flair!
Ron: Since when are you a wrestling fan?
Draco: Shut your fucking face, uncle fucker.
Harry: And since when are you a South Park fan?
Draco: DAMNIT! I'm not a fan of either!
Hermione: Sure you aren't....
Nemesis: SSTTTTAARRRSSSSSS........
Draco: Grrrrrrr.......

While Neptune is downed once again, Flair gets her in a sharpshooter hold. Uranus once again
tries to interfere and break Flair's hold on her, but this time Grey Fox is there preventing her
from doing so. But Neptune has the matter well in hand; she is able to crawl over to and grab
the ropes, and Grey Fox forces Flair to release his hold on Neptune.

Kirby: Rope break. Neptune's out and about again. But it looks like Ric still has the upper
hand.
Spider-Man: Just as long as he takes Grey's advice and doesn't make a pass at either of them, he
may be able to keep it.
Fox McCloud: But with a wacko like him, you never know...

Flair hoists Neptune up and throws her towards the ropes, so she'll come running back at him,
allowing him to pull off a really painful move. But Neptune foils his plans, for she flips over
him as he is about to grab her. Once behind him, she grabs him, and traps him with a suplex pin.
Grey Fox runs over to begin the pin count. This maneuver took Flair completely by surprise, but
still he is able to kick out, just as Grey Fox makes the two-count.

Spider-Man: Looks like this Senshi isn't gonna be easy prey for these guys either.
Kirby: Well duh. Any otaku coulda told you that.
Fox McCloud: Something tells me your one of those otakus.
Kirby: And so what if I am? You got a problem with that?
Fox McCloud: And what if I do? What're ya gonna do about it?
Kirby: (shoots a webline at Fox McCloud, and then yanks it, sending him flying on over to the
big-ass gong, hitting his head on it)
Spider-Man: Obviously that.
Stephanie McMahon: You okay?
Fox McCloud: (lying on ground) Shut up.


Ric Flair gets up and runs at Neptune, hitting her in the face with a flying elbow smash, causing
her to fall backwards. Flair raises Neptune off the mat again, but before he even has a chance
to do anything, Neptune grabs him by the throat and then does a chokeslam on him.

Spider-Man: Damn, that is one bad girl.
Kirby: One of the reasons those two girls are such fan favorites.
Fox McCloud: (stumbles back over to the commentator's booth, holding his head in pain)
Kirby: So Fox, got any more insults about my alleged otaku-ishness?
Fox McCloud: (slurred speech) If my head didn't throb so, I'd kick your ass all the way to Utah.

After chokeslamming Nature Boy, Neptune raises him up off the mat, then runs away from him,
towards the ropes, and rebounds off them, coming at Flair again, and then nailing him with a
scissor kick. While he is downed once again, Neptune tags Uranus into the ring.

Spider-Man: Uh-oh. Something tells me Flair's really in for it now.
Fox McCloud: What's going on? I can't see a damn thing through all these floaty stars.
Kirby: Let that be a lesson to you. NEVER bash anyone for liking anime.
Spider-Man: But was it really necessary to resort to such painful means to teach him that lesson?
Kirby: Yes.
Draco: I can't believe how these stupid girls manage to beat up everyone.
Hermione: Oh Draco, I just remembered, I've come up with a way to render your hard hat useless.
Draco: Oh really? How?
Hermione: (pulls out wand) Wingardium Leviosa!
Draco: (hard hat floats off his head) Oh no....
*KAPOWIE!*
Draco: (*)_(*)
Nemesis: SSSSSSTTTTAAAARRRRSSSSS......
Hermione: Yep, he sure is seeing some of those.

Flair is still down on the mat by the time Uranus reaches him, giving her the perfct opportunity
to attack -- an opportunity she takes. She picks him up, and then does a brainbuster on him.

Kirby: He's lucky his head didn't just go through the floor.
Spider-Man: Hell, he'll be lucky if he doesn't get a concussion from that.

Apparently he's fine, because he's able to get up and deliver a spinning kick to Uranus' face.
Not wanting to take any risks, he tags Austin back into the ring. He dashes towards Uranus, who
is still reeling from Flair's attack, and tackles her, pinning her to the ground, and delivering
a flurry of vicious punches while she is down.

Fox McCloud: We're back to those two, I see.
Kirby: And it actually looks like Austin won't get his ass kicked as easily by Uranus this time.

Indeed. As soon as Uranus manages to get Austin off of her, he is able to grab hold of her again
and get her in a crippler crossface hold. Neptune tries to interfere on Uranus' behalf like she
did for her earlier, but is prevented from doing so by Grey Fox. Meanwhile, Austin still has
Uranus locked in his submission hold.

Spider-Man: Looks like Austin's not taking any chances with Uranus.
Kirby: Fat lot of good it'll do him though.
Fox McCloud: Shouldn't Draco be cheering Austin on right about now?
Spider-Man: He would be if he were conscious.

All of a sudden, Vince McMahon enters the ring holding a steel folding chair and bashed both
Uranus and Austin's heads with it. Then he bashes Grey Fox and Neptune's heads, finishing up by
smacking Flair in the face. All five get knocked out as a result.

Spidey, Fox M. and Kirby: o_O
Fox McCloud: Okay, what the hell is he doing here?
Kirby: Guess he doesn't want anyone else dishing out this brand of entertainment besides him.

But then, just as suddenly, Sailor Mercury slides into the ring, and hits Vince McMahon in the
face with a Shabon Spray Freezing spell, causing him to drop the chair. She picks up the chair
and smacks Vince over the ropes with it. She climbs out of the ring and Vince starts to run
away, and Mercury gives chase.

Stephanie McMahon: (rolling on the floor laughing her ass off)
Kirby: Well, that was, interesting.
Spider-Man: Wonder how the match will go after this.

The show must go on. Uranus regains her senses first, and gets up and pins the still knocked out
Austin. Grey Fox manages to recover and begins the count. But just as he's about to make it to
the three-count, Austin manages to break Uranus' pin.

Spider-Man: For a guy who was so unenthusiastic about this match, he sure seems like he's in it
to win it.
Fox McCloud: Ahhh, he musta been bored after that whole walkout bit.
Kirby: Yeah, why else would be have agreed to appear in a fanfic like this?

Uranus picks up Austin and then slams him down on the mat, then picks him up and repeats the
process. She then tries pinning him again, but just like before, Austin kicks out right before
Grey Fox can make it to the three-count. Meanwhile, Vince McMahon runs back out into the arena;
running for dear life. He's being chased by Sailor Mercury, once again 21 feet tall, and
Deathworks is riding piggyback on her shoulders. The combatants ignore them.

Fox McCloud: This chapter just gets weirder and weirder.
Kirby: I was wondering if DW would show up in this chapter.
Spider-Man: Bet Steph is really laughing it up now. (looks to see Stephanie is nowhere to be
found) Huh? Where'd she go?

Meanwhile, Neptune has been tagged back into the ring, and has climbed the turnbuckle. She jumps
down, meaning to body slam Austin hard, but he rolls out of the way just in time, leaving Neptune
to slam face-first onto the mat.

Kirby: Okay, now that was humiliating.
Fox McCloud: Not to mention painful looking.

Neptune is able to recover and get up before Austin can reach her, but just as she does so,
Austin runs up from behind and goes past her, grabbing her hair as he does so, and thus her face
gets slammed down onto the mat again. He then tags Flair, and they prepare to do a double-team
attack on Neptune: running Neptune into the ropes so she'd be bounced back at them. But Neptune
is able to foil this strategem by smacking both Austin and Flair with a double clothesline as
she's running back at them. Flair is able to recover first, but she punches him hard in the
face, knocking him down, and then pins him with a schoolgirl takedown. Grey Fox slides over the
begin the pin count, but Austin kicks Neptune in the head from behind just as he makes it to two,
breaking her hold. This royally pisses Uranus off and she runs into the ring and grabs Austin by
the neck with both hands, and then throws him out of the ring. Uranus then jumps out of the ring
to continue punishing Austin. Meanwhile, Neptune and Flair continue to fight.

Kirby: Hooo boy, Austin's really smarting now I bet.
Fox McCloud: Ahhh, he does this for a living. He'll be fine.
Kirby: There's a slight difference to what he's used to.
Fox McCloud: Eh?
Kirby: GF didn't bother putting rubber padding on the floor around the ring.
Fox McCloud: Oh. Ouch.

Flair comes at Neptune with a fist cocked back, but Neptune then rushes him with a football
tackle. Flair is able to get up, but once he does, Neptune nails him in the gut with a vicious
punch, and then pulls off the Stone Cold Stunner on him, causing him to fall flat on his back.

Steve Austin: Damnit, that's my finisher! (runs back towards ring)
Uranus: Get back here! (grabs Austin in a headlock)
Spider-Man: Is stealing that move gonna be a regular thing in this fic?
Kirby: Hey, if the shoe fits...

Neptune pins the downed Flair, and Grey Fox rushes over to start the count. This time Neptune
is able to hold him until Grey Fox makes it all the way to the three-count, winning it for her and
Uranus.

Spider-Man: Well, that's over with.
Grey Fox: Here are your winners for this match: Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune! (raises
Neptune's hand, declaring her the victor)
Draco: Damn.
Nemesis: SSSTTTAAARRSS........
Draco: -_-
Fox McCloud: Well, that was certainly a lot of fun to watch.
Kirby: Good, now we can get out of here. I got a pie baking in the back.

All of a sudden, the big TV screen at the top of the stadium, which was used to broadcast the fight
between Sweet Tooth and Sailor Mercury, comes on.

Harry: Eh?
Spider-Man: What the...

And on the screen is the face of....RIDLEY!!!!

Steve Austin: Aw crap, not him again...
Fox McCloud: Doesn't this guy ever go away?
Ridley: Hahahahaa! You fools thought you could get rid of me that easily?!
Kirby: We thought it was a good possibility...
Ridley: SHUT UP! Now I'll have my revenge on all of you for the humiliation I've suffered because
of you!!
Sailor Uranus: And just how do you intend to do this?
Ridley: I've planted a bomb in the stadium, which I will detonate by remote. And I'm here atop the
stadium now, and soon I'll be flying above it to watch the glorious spectacle!
Hermione: Won't it be kinda hard to detonate the bomb, since I now have this? (pulls out a bundle
of wires)
Ridley: (dumbfounded slack-jawed look) You, you.....!!!
Hermione: Yep, I found you planting the bomb while looking for another ladies' room, and disarmed
the thing before you would have come back and blown it.
Draco: Wait a minute.... you know how to work bombs?!
Ron and Draco: (inch away from Hermione)
Nemesis: SSSTTTAAAARRRRSSS.........
Ridley: Grrr, enjoy this momentary victory! I'll have my revenge later!
Hermione: Forget it. I also put someone in place to ambush you when you made your appearance.
Ridley: Oh yeah?! Who?
Stephanie McMahon: (off-screen) Hey Puff the Magic Dragon, over here...
Ridley: Eh? (looks to his right) Oh no..... (a blast of blue lighting hits him, blowing him out of view --
the sound of him falling off the stadium and landing on the ground can also be heard off-screen)
Harry: So this was your big surprise? Ridley getting smacked around again?
Hermione: Yep.
Stephanie McMahon: (walks onscreen, holding Fortune's rail gun) Hi guys!
Grey Fox: o_O;; Umm, Steph, where'd you get the rail gun from Metal Gear Sons of Liberty?
Stephanie McMahon: Where else? eBay.
everyone else: -_-

********************

Cut to view outside stadium, where Ridley has landed smack-dab on the pavement.

Ridley: Damnit, why the hell do I have to be the friggin' comic relief in this fic?! (shadow looms
over him) Huh? (looks up to see the 21-foot Sailor Mercury standing over him, with Deathworks
sitting on her right shoulder) Oh no, don't tell me this is gonna happen thrice now.
Deathworks: Nah, that would be too repetitive.
Ridley: (sigh of relief)
Mercury: THEY'RE going to finish you off! (points to two figures in the distance)
Ridley: Who? (sees who she's pointing at: Pikachu and Charizard)
Pikachu: [Forget about us, big guy?]
Charizard: (sounds a trumpet)
Pikachu: [Come forth, our minions!]
Ridley: Wha?

An army of zombies on pogo sticks approaches.

Ridley: Oh dear God......

TV fuzz.

*********************

Wah hah hah hah! I've been looking forward to this one for a long time! This one's for all the
hardcore anime lovers and wrestling fans out there! Now excuse me, but I'm finishing this just
before my first class on my first day back at college, so I must be going. But stay tuned for more
of the most whacked-out deathmatches out there. And maybe Ridley will be back too, if he
survives being attacked by zombies on pogo sticks. I'll let you know.

So long,
Grey Fox