Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction ❯ MST: Humanity with short ❯ There's a pattern with bakas... ( Chapter 3 )
Mike and the Bots find a comon thread with bakas as the fic's pain factor kicks into overdrive, then Dr. F and Frank try the pills again.
Anime/Manga: Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Sci-fi / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 07.28.2002 | Pages: 8 | Words: 2.2K | Visits: 361 | Status: Completed
(SOL)
CROW: Hey Mike, I noticed something about various anime dimwits.
MIKE: What's that?
CROW: Ever noticed that they're always lost in the woods? I mean, Ash gets him and his friends lost in the woods before they arrive at a city in almost every episode.
MIKE: True.
TOM: What about Ryoga? If he's not mistaking Tokyo for the back lot behind his house, he's always wondering where Akane's house is when he's in a forest a few hours away.
MIKE: That's true too. Same can be said about Mimi when she got lost in the maze in that one episode during season one.
CROW: Mike, she's a cheerleader.
TOM: She can't talk and chew gum at the same time without getting an aneurysm.
MIKE: You know, I think this would be less of a problem if only they had a…
(Lights go off)
ALL: FANFIC SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGNNNNNNNNNNN!
(Door sequence)
(ALL take their seats)
"Pika." ("Ash.") Pikachu said sadly as he saw the unconscious bodies of his friends.
MIKE: For they read this story, and it made them unconscious.
"CHICKA!" ("YOU!")
CROW (Chickorita): CAD!
Chickorita said as she looks at B.R.I.AN.
"Look, I'm sorry for what I did.
TOM (B.R.I.AN): I was drunker than Ted Kennedy.
I was under Team Rocket's control." B.R.I.AN said. "Right now, I got to get your friends to the hospital." He said, but just as soon as he goes near Misty…
MIKE: Disney swipes her and renames her Areal.
CROW: GASP! The horror!
TOM: THE HORROR!
"TOGIE!" ("NO!") Togiepi shouted and used her psychic powers to throw B.R.I.AN across the wood, and into a tree.
ALL (Singing): Watch out for that…
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! OOF!"
ALL (Singing): Treeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Gorge, Gorge, Gorge of the Jungle, friend to you and me!
"TOGIE TOGIE TOGIE PREE!" ("I WON'T LET YOU HURT MOMMY OR DADDY!") She said.
CROW (B.R.I.AN): Will you let me maim them at least?
"Look, I'm sorry, but I have to get them to the nearest hospital or they'll die!" B.R.I.AN said.
TOM: Take your time. No rush.
"Togie? PREE!" ("Hospital? I GOT IT!") Togiepi said. Then, she moved her arms back and forth and teleported everyone to the nearest hospital.
MIKE: 3,000 miles away.
"I NEED HELP!" B.R.I.AN shouted,
ALL (Singing): I need a little help from my friends.
as Nurse Joy and another woman, with pink hair, came to his aid.
TOM: OH NONONONONONO!
CROW: Please tell me they're not bringing Digimon into this! PLEASE TELL ME THEY'RE NOT BRINGING DIGIMON INTO THIS!
MIKE: Itsjustafanficitsjustafanficitsjustafanfic…
"OH MY! CHANSEY, GET THESE KIDS AND POKEMON TO INTENSIVE CARE! STAT!" Joy said.
TOM: Phew! For a minute…
MIKE: I thought…
CROW: Thanks goodness that…
ALL: CHANSEY?!
"You got it!" The woman said as she took them to their rooms. Then, Joy saw B.R.I.AN.
MIKE: And realized she was in a bad fanfic.
"AND WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!" Joy asked.
CROW (B.R.I.AN): I got a hooker mad.
MIKE: Crow!
"Long story. I'm fine." B.R.I.AN said as he put his right palm to his face, and the quarter of skin that was missing was replaced.
TOM (B.R.I.AN): And for my next trick, I'll pull a rabbit out of my hat.
"How?" Joy asked.
"I'm a cyborg and I just repaired my missing skin." B.R.I.AN said. Then, something clicked. "WAIT! You called her Chansey?" He asked. "Where am I? Where's you Pokemon?"
MIKE (Nurse Joy): They're some of the town's humans.
(BOTS die laughing)
"You're in Humanity." Joy said. "And the reason that there are no Pokemon is because…" but she was interrupted by sounds of screaming…
CROW: Hey, they're reading a Darkstar fic and in pain.
"PIKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"BULBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"CHICKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"VULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!"
"TOGIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"WHAT'S GOING ON?!" B.R.I.AN demanded.
MIKE (Nurse Joy): They're practicing "A Chores Line."
"Watch." Joy said.
As he watched, the Pokemon changed shape. Their bodies changed as their legs, arms, and other parts grew until finally they looked…
"Human?!"
(ALL look at the line)
ALL: Itsjustafanfic!Itsjustafanfic!Itsjustafanfic…
Sure enough, Pikachu looked like a blond man, while Bulbasaur looked liked a man with blue hair, and green streaks. Vulpex looked like a woman with dark pink hair, and Chickorita looked like a woman with green hair, and Togiepi looked like a woman with whitish-blond hair.
CROW: The cast of Baywatch, they are not.
MIKE: So, they have an IQ then?
How?" B.R.I.AN asked.
CROW (Nurse Joy): It has to do with the drinking water.
"We'll tell you later." Chansey said. "Right now, we got to get cloths on them. They're unconscious from the pain. When they wake up, they won't know what happened."
TOM: Much like a typical college kid after new years. Naked, knowing nothing, next to strange people.
"Plus, we have to take care of your friends." Joy said.
ALL (Nurse Joy): Heh, heh, heh.
"They're not my friends, I did this to them." B.R.I.AN said.
"WHAT?!" Both Joy and Chansey said at the same time.
MIKE: He said "They're not my friends, I did this to them."
"It's like this…" B.R.I.AN said as he was explaining the whole story.
MIKE: WHAT?! The whole story AGAIN?! NO!
CROW: NO!
TOM: We remember enough! WE'RE FINE!
*******************************************************
ALL: Phew.
A few minutes later, Joy and Chansey just had shocked expressions as they went to check on Ash, Misty, and Brock.
CROW: So I take it they saw the ending of the all-star game too.
"How are they?" B.R.I.AN asked.
"You got them here just in time." Joy said.
"Another minute, and they would be dead." Chansey said.
TOM: Togipi should have taken longer.
MIKE: Now that's uncalled for.
TOM: Oh no, not because I want them dead, heaven's no. Its because if they were dead, the fic would end.
MIKE: Oh.
"I hope that everyone can…" But before B.R.I.AN can finish…
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! OW! OH! OW!
…he was thrown across 3 rooms.
CROW (J.R.): OOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Its great action here in the WWE as B.R.I.AN gets thrown across three rooms.
"WHAT THE HELL?!" He asked as he got up. "Who did that?" Just then, the data in his head read:
MIKE: Togipi.
CROW: That little thing?!
TOM: Right, and I have a bridge to sell you.
SOURCE: TOGIEPI.
LEVEL: 5.
ATTACK: TELEKENETICS.
TOM: I'll take the highest offer.
"That's not possible. Not even the most powerful Togiepi could do that." He said.
"Oh, but I did." A woman dressed in a blue shirt and red shorts, and sneakers said.
"Togiepi?" He asked.
CROW (Togiepi): No, the tooth fairy. WHO ELSE DO YOU KNOW THAT SOME FANS WANT TO SCRAMBLE AND SERVE FOR BREAKFAST!?
"Yes, and you're going to pay for what you did to mommy, daddy, uncle Brock, and all my friends." She said.
"It doesn't matter what you look like." B.R.I.AN said as…
*STNIK*
…two metallic hooked claws popped out of his arms.
ALL: WHAT?!
CROW: Great, he knows nothing about his past, he's metal in some places, and he has claws. SOMEBODY CALL MARVEL COMICS!
"Because I'm going to turn you into a scrambled egg!" He said as he charged for Togapi. But was stopped…
"NO!" By the now human Bulbasar as used his tackle attack. The attack was so power full, it nearly knocked B.R.I.AN out.
TOM: Of a window.
"How is this possible?" He asked.
MIKE: Its maaaaaaaaaaaaaaagic.
Just then, two vines grabbed his arms. He looked up and saw the now human Chickorita, dressed in a green tanktop, with blue pants, and black shoes, with vines sticking out of her arms, and connected to B.R.I.AN.
CROW: THAT'S HOW SHE LOST IN THE FIRST PLACE! CAN'T SHE THINK OF ANYTHING BETTER?!
MIKE: Crow, this is a Pokemon with a crush on Ash.
CROW: I guess not then.
"None of us know," she said, "but we won't let you hurt our friends."
TOM (B.R.I.AN): May I mentally hurt them?
CROW (Chickorita): I'll think about it.
"SHOCK TO THE SYSTEM!" B.R.I.AN said, and, like last time, electricity went from his hands and through Chickorita's vines, shocking Chickoarita.
MIKE: What?
CROW: Hey Mr. Author. Witch is it? Chickorita, or Chickoarita?
TOM (Singing): Lets call the whole thing off.
MIKE: I wish.
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" She said. Bulbasaur went to check on her, but B.R.I.AN charging towards them both.
"TIME FOR ME TO MAKE A POKEMON SALID!" He said as he charged.
CROW: Don't forget the krutons.
"YOU WON'T DO ANYTHING!" The now human Vulpex, wearing a fire red T-shirt, with blue pants, and red shoes, yelled.
TOM: Boy, they have an abundance of t-shirts, don't they?
She then had flames fly out of her mouth, and they formed a circle around B.R.I.AN.
MIKE: Somebody call the fire department and have this fic closed for fire safety violations.
"I don't know how or why this is possible, but I don't care." B.R.I.AN said. "ICE COLD STARE!" And the blue beam shot out of his right eye and turned the flames in to ice. He shatters them as runs towards everyone. "I'M GOING TO PUT YOUR FIRE OUT!"
TOM: Nice comeback, for a bad pun.
"NO!" The now human Pikachu, dressed in a yellow T-shirt,
CROW: What is with all the t-shirts?
MIKE: Maybe it's in a tropical location and anything with long sleeves would make it feel like a sauna.
with blue pants, and white shoes, yelled as electricity came from his arms, and zapped B.R.I.AN.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He said as he fell to his knees.
TOM: And begged for mercy.
MIKE (B.R.I.AN): The author made me do it.
"Guys, don't you remember? He turned against Team Rocket after I zapped him." Pikachu said.
"So? He hurt mom and dad." Togiepi said.
CROW: And the minds of the readers.
"And tried to kill us." Bulbasaur said.
"I'm sorry for all of that." B.R.I.AN said as he retracted his claws. "I was under TR'S control when I attacked you guys and your trainer. The attack on you guys now was because I couldn't control my anger. I'm not human, I'm part machine. Its kind of hard to control my anger since I don't have half of my humanity."
TOM: Oh, come on. WE GET IT! THE STORY IS CALLED HUMANITY!
MIKE: EASY! EASY! He's stating why one little flight got him so mad.
TOM: Oh.
"I know that now. I understand that you normally wouldn't have attacked us." Pikachu said. "Consider your self forgiven."
"What about the others?" B.R.I.AN asked.
"Hey, if TR did to me what they did to you, I would've gone nuts." Vulpex said.
ALL (Singing): I am slowly going crazy.
"I guess I would have too." Bulbasaur said.
"It's not a problem. I'm just glad you're no longer under TR'S control anymore. Who knows what could have happened if you still were." Chickorita said.
CROW: Millions of Digimon fans would be happy.
"What about you Togiepi?" B.R.I.AN asked.
"It's going to be tough," she said. "But if uncle Pikachu can forgive, then so can I."
MIKE (Togipi): Granted, you tried to kill my parents, but hey, its water under the bridge.
"Thank you." B.R.I.AN said. "As for you Joy, can you explain all of this?"
TOM: I don't think anyone can explain this fic.
TO BE CONTINUED…
NEXT: An Explanation.
CROW (Mother): And it better be a good one young man.
(ALL exit)
(Door Sequence)
(SOL)
MIKE: Ok guys, let's review.
TOM: A cyborg that doesn't know about his past…
CROW: Pokemon turned human…
MIKE: And a town named after the story…
CROW: This is going to go down hard, isn't it?
MIKE: Pretty much.
(MADS light flashes)
MIKE: Looks like Jack B. Nimble and Jack B. Quick are calling.
(MIKE taps the light)
(DEEP 13)
DR. F: Uh, Mike, we have another problem.
(SOL)
MIKE: What now sirs?
TOM: You gave them another hypno pill and Team Rocket now thinks they're Ash?
(DEEP 13)
FRANK: Worse. Meeowth thinks he's Matt and Jessie and James think they're the teenage wolves.
(MEEOWTH is singing "Lets kick it up" worse than the real Matt)
DR. F: HE ALREADY BROKE 3 PAIRS OF MY GLASSES!
*CRACK*
FRANK: I'll get the 4th pair Steve.
(SOL, where MIKE and the BOTS are in pain)
TOM: TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!
CROW: MAKE IT STOP! BRITNEY SPEARS SOUNDS BETTER THAN THIS!
(Commercial sign)
MIKE (Ears covered): THE REAL MATT SOUNDS BETTER THAN THIS! WE'LL BE BACK!
(MIKE taps the light)
(As we see the planet bumper, we still hear the bad music)
(Commercials)