Project A-Ko Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Vampire Hunter (Darkstalkers) Fan Fiction ❯ Nabiki 1/2 (A Very Scary Thought) ❯ Skating to Disaster... ( Chapter 37 )

Nabiki 1/2

(A Very Scary Thought)

Written by Jim Robert Bader

Proofread by Shiva Barnwell

Based Upon the Altered Destinies Storyline

Inspired by the works of such fans as

Wade Tritshler

Richard Lawson

James Jones

And Many Others

Standard Disclaimer: This is inspired by the work of Takahashi Rumiko and is not my original creation. All characters belong to her. This is only a fanfictional work, and is not intended to compromise the rights of the original owners, distributors and publishers of the Ranma series. I have no money to spare and would very much appreciate if no one tries to sue me.

"Now this is more like it," said Ukyo as she tied on her skates, "A day to relax with no battles to fight or problems that need solving, and--best of all--no Cologne looking over my shoulder."

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself," Nabiki commented on the side, "Some of us still have to work, even on a Sunday."

"You sure that stuff can't wait until later?" Ranma looked over his shoulder at Nabiki, "It's a nice day, and we're here to relax. Frankly, I think we could all use it after the last few weeks we've just had."

"No problem there, Ranchan," Nabiki smiled at him as he tapped his pen against the ledger laid out before him, "But I still need to finish working these accounts if we're going to get the dojo up and running by the end of the month. I also promised Ucchan I'd double-check her books to make sure Cologne hasn't ordered anything that's not on the menu."

"It can wait," Ukyo said as she stood up in her skates, "C'mon, even you need to relax once in a while, Nab--I mean, Kaneda-chan."

Nabiki winced at Ukyo's unintentional gaff. Being trapped for a week in male form was becoming a very annoying subject for him, as was Cologne's intransigence in refusing to provide a cure for the Cat Tongue. A diligent search of the premises had failed to turn up the promised Phoenix pill while Happosai had been nearly impossible to track down. The pervert was usually out enjoying his usual sport of steal women's underwear and harassing young ladies.

As Kaneda, Nabiki had been forced to make a great many concessions, not least of which was explaining to Ryonami that he would be filling in for Nabiki during her unscheduled absence. Nabiki also had to fend off several attacks by Kuno, who demanded to know what he had done with "the gentle Tendo maiden." There was also the new element to deal with in the person of Mousse, who alternately attacked either Nabiki or Ranma demanding they release his "intended betrothed," plus the usual harassment he had to endure whenever he got too near to Kuno Kodachi.

Actually, the problem with Kodachi had not been quite so pronounced of late, which both relieved and puzzled Nabiki as he would have expected the infamous Black Rose to be at her utmost annoying now that Kaneda was a full-time condition. At first he had chalked it up to the vigorous way that Shampoo and Perfume had both worked at discouraging other would-be suitors from approaching, but Nabiki had come to suspect another possible reason, one that involved both Keiko and Akane.

She glanced at them now, seeing Kodachi and Akane trying to encourage Ryoga and Keiko to try their first hesitant steps upon the ice rink. Keiko was wavering as she fought to steady her balance while Ryoga took a face-dive, which Akane tried valiantly to prevent but instead went sprawling with him. Kodachi's laugh could be heard all the way across the rink, but it lacked its usual maniacal quality, and the way she was holding hands with a nervous Keiko made it difficult to remember that only one week ago they had been mortal enemies. In fact, if Nabiki had not known better, she would have suspected that the two of them had become remarkably close for no particularly obvious reason.

She turned back to Ukyo and said, "Maybe some other time, but I do have a lot of work to do…"

"All work and no play?" Ukyo grinned, "Hey, Ranchan, sounds like the Boss Lady is making excuses for ignoring us."

"C'mon, Nab-chan," Ranma said without thinking to use Nabiki's false male identity, "It's no fun out there without you."

Nabiki considered reminding him about the gaff but just sighed and said, "I'd like to, Ranchan, but the truth is…well…I don't know how. I haven't skated in…well, never."

"Never?" Ukyo was surprised, "You mean your Uncle never considered it important?"

"We didn't have too many luxuries on that training mission," Nabiki replied, "Learning to skate was never a priority, so if I go out there I'll just make myself look like a fool."

"You're kidding, right?" Ukyo smirked his way, "After the way you handled Cologne I'm ready to believe you can walk on water."

"Never learned to skate, Nab-chan?" Ranma said, "That's too bad. Well, we'd be happy to teach you, right Ucchan?"

"Sure thing," Ukyo grinned, "I was captain of the boy's Hockey Team at my last school, and with your quick reflexes I'm sure you'll be a natural."

"What natural?" Shampoo asked as she and Perfume finally came up to join them.

"Ice skating," Ranma answered.

"What this ice skating?" Perfume asked as she stared out at the rink and all the people moving around in graceful movements, "Japanese people do this?"

"Some of us do, P-chan," Ukyo replied, "It's almost like a national sport. Maybe you'd like to try it since Kaneda here is playing chicken."

Perfume brightened, "Perfume glad to take instructions from Airen! You show Perfume how to move on skates?"

"Not a problem, Sugar," Ukyo smiled, "Follow me and I'll rent some shoes in your size."

"What about you, Sham-chan?" Ranma asked as Shampoo sat down beside Nabiki.

"Shampoo no think it smart to go out on frozen water," the girl said pleasantly, "Cousin take big risk coming here, could wind up in Cursed form."

"Only if it melted," Nabiki looked at her and said, "You sure you don't want to learn? You and Perfume could help each other out."

"Shampoo no think it good idea," Shampoo paled slightly, "No feel steady on feet, maybe feel bad in tummy. No want spew lunch all over place."

"What's wrong, Shampoo?" Nabiki looked at her sharply, "You're not coming down with something, are you?"

"Shampoo," Shampoo hesitated, then said, "Maybe think come down with something. Shampoo no be sick before. Having trouble keeping breakfast…"

"Considering how much you ate this morning," Ranma said, "That's not surprising. I thought you and Perfume were going off to buy some ice cream…"

"Shampoo buy ice cream," Shampoo replied queasily, "Use money Airen give, buy two double-scoop Sarsaparilla."

"Maybe it was a bad idea taking you here," Nabiki frowned as he reflexively reached over to touch Shampoo's forehead with his palm, "Hmm, you're not running a fever but you feel a little clammy. Maybe I should take you home and lay you down…"

"No, Shampoo all right," she insisted, "No want be burden."

"You're not a burden to me, Sham-chan," Nabiki said at his reassuring best, "But you shouldn't take any risks with your health. You're not in China anymore, as I'm sure you don't need to be reminded."

"Yeah, and besides," Ranma noted, "You've started putting on a little weight, I've noticed…"

"Ranchan!" Nabiki whirled on him in surprise, "That's not a very nice thing to say…"

"Uh…Oops," Ranma faltered.

Shampoo smiled. Ranma still had a tendency to sometimes say things without thinking, but he was basically a nice enough boy and a good companion, so she did not mind his unintentional insult. If anyone else had said that she was getting fat she would have pounded them to paste, but she had to admit, in this instance, that she was feeling a little bloated and heavy…

She turned her mind away from his own discomforts by focusing on Perfume, who was smiling happily as Ukyo tied on the laces of those strange shoes that had metal blades attached to their bottoms. Perfume was certainly making progress in her relationship with her Airen but as yet neither one of them had achieved the sort of quiet intimacy they each desired. Ukyo kept insisting that she was only interested in men (was that why she still tended to dress somewhat like one, or was that just habit?) while Nabiki was avoiding any commitments either way, maintaining the same neutrality towards both Shampoo and Ranma. It was more than slightly frustrating, and Shampoo kept wishing things could be like they were on the night of their wedding. She was half-afraid that they would never share that level of closeness again…

She sighed. Perfume had yet to even make it that far, but Ukyo was trying to make overtures of friendship, so there was still some hope. If only Ukyo would stop giving off so many mixed signals…and if she did not want a female companion in that way, then why had she been so quick to defend Perfume against Cologne and Mousse, not to mention Kuno Kodachi?

She turned back to look towards the raven-haired beauty in question, unable to keep from feeling an urge to pay her back for numerous slights and annoyances incurred during the past week. Kodachi still flirted with Nabiki in her Kaneda identity, and while Shampoo had the luxury of declaring Nabiki as her husband in this form she still had to cope with the fact that Nabiki would not make a similar open declaration back and thus left an opening for Kodachi to claim their marriage as a sham.

The hardest thing to take about that was that Shampoo half feared that there was truth in that claim. Unless Nabiki started taking their marriage more seriously the problems with Kodachi would only continue.

Well, maybe not indefinitely, judging by the way Keiko seemed to have angled matters between the Black Rose and Akane. Nabiki might only suspect the truth in that quarter but Shampoo had no doubt at all that they were intimate. She could see a thousand little signs that gave the trio away, moments when these girls seemed to be sharing a space in which no one else could enter, a space that once belonged to Shampoo and another…

She bit that thought off angrily and tried to content herself in the fact that Nabiki was not the only one who kept personal secrets.

Perfume, concentrate on Perfume, she silently willed to herself as she watched her Cousin take her first tentative steps on the ice, trembling like a leaf as she swayed in an attempt to maintain her balance. Ukyo hovered nearby, ready to catch her if she fell, but Perfume was making a good effort so as not to look bad before her Airen. Shampoo doubted that she would have been able to manage it half as well under the same circumstances. Perfume had worked the hardest of the two of them at mastering whole mind-body interface in order to cope with her acute problem caused by a low pain threshold, so her sense of balance was uncanny. If she could be having this much trouble just standing erect, then Shampoo…

All of a sudden Shampoo felt her stomach lurch, and though she instantly covered her mouth she felt the acid burn at the gate of her tonsils and found she could not hold any of it in. With no further warning she doubled over in her chair and started to upchuck her breakfast, which came mixed with the flavor of her undigested ice cream.

"Shampoo?" Nabiki slammed his ledger shut and moved to her side on the instant then put her arm around the Amazon's shoulder and said, "That's it! You're going to the doctor!"

"But…" Shampoo said unsteadily before feeling her stomach lurch for a second vomit.

"Easy, let it all out," Nabiki gently urged her, "Let's get you to the bathroom and see if we can't clean you up, then I'm taking you to see Tofu-Sensei, and no back talk!"

"H-Hai," Shampoo gasped, feeling miserable and confused. She had never been sick a day in her life, so what was wrong with her now? First the cramps and headaches and now this? And what about those peculiar cravings she'd been having lately? What made her want the silly ice cream in the first place? If only Great Grandmother were here, she always knew the answers…

Meanwhile Ranma was skating and did not take notice when Nabiki half-carried Shampoo towards the bathroom. His eyes were instead on Kodachi and her group, but not with the usual moon-struck adoration he once would have worn. Instead, simple curiosity had the better of him as he, too, had noticed a distinctive change in Kodachi and Akane's behavior.

Not usually the most observant fellow when it came to things other than Martial Arts, he found himself now focusing on the way Kodachi was leading Keiko around the rink, getting the Kickboxer used to simple, basic maneuvers while poor Akane had to contend with that blockhead, Ryoga. Kodachi was smiling…genuinely smiling at Keiko, a girl who only a week ago she would have cheerfully sliced to bits with her ribbon, and the way they were holding hands it was almost like…

No, he had to be imagining things! Girls did not do stuff like that outside of male fantasies (and he should know since lately the question had gotten to him whenever he saw Nabiki with Shampoo). Keiko might be like that, but Kodachi? Not bloody likely!

Akane was the one who puzzled him the most, especially the way she seemed to be going out of her way to be nice to Ryoga. Okay, the boy was nice to her, but that hardly seemed sufficient reason for her to fawn on him like that and act like the perpetually lost boy was someone she had to be nice to. Ryoga could be so sensitive to little things, and very quick to anger if Ranma said or did anything that might provoke him, but around Akane the guy was pathetic. He'd go all to pieces and start babbling like an idiot, and Akane never got mad with him or called him names or beat him up or any of the things she always did with Ranma. He wasn't quite sure why this upset him, but he did find it mildly irritating.

Well, it really was not his problem. He had enough on his plate having to contend with the fact that the woman he loved was trapped in a guy's body…

Uh oh, Ranma winced, the "L" word again. Why was it so hard for him to say the word around Nabiki? He felt very strongly about her and wanted to be the kind of guy who could just come out and confess all those feelings, but for some reason he still kept her at a distance. He wanted to be with her and could barely stand the thought of living without her. She was fascinating, complex, utterly unlike anyone else he had ever met in his young life, and she was so full of adventures…no wonder crazy stuff seemed to happen all the time around her! Nabiki was a walking magnet for trouble, but being with her was like never having a dull moment.

Ranma smiled. Trouble he could handle, it was this Cat Tongue business that was really making him feel frustrated. Kaneda was the kind of boy he would not mind having for a friend, but to think that this was actually Nabiki in drag…

"Whoops, heads up, Ranchan!" a voice called out in warning, calling him back to the present.

Ranma instantly shifted his balance and adjusted the angle of his skates so that he could avoid running into Ukyo, who was trying to coax Perfume along in spite of the girl's abject terror of falling.

"So, how's your new apprentice coming along?" Ranma joked as he saw Perfume briefly pinwheel her arms as she fought to come to a standstill and managed to finally halt herself it with great effort.

"Not too bad," Ukyo smiled as she put a reassuring hand on the Amazon girl's shoulder, "You're a fast learner, P-chan, no surprise there. Just take it easy and don't try so hard, get used to the feeling of the skates and gradually it'll become second nature."

"If Airen say," Perfume tentative smiled before going into another frantic bout of trying to remain upright.

Ranma expertly eased around to the girl's other side and offered his own arm so that she could have something solid to grasp. After a tenuous hesitation Perfume recovered herself again then sighed, "Skating very hard, but Perfume learn. If boy can do, then Amazon do better."

"You're welcome to try," Ranma chuckled, "Akane and me used to do this all the time. We even won an award for our school. Somehow I don't think her new partner will be doing that anytime soon."

He smiled in some satisfaction as Ryoga went down on his back for the fourth time, bringing Akane down on top of him with her knees accidentally hitting his stomach. Ranma winced in sympathy, but it did make him feel rather pleased with himself for some vague reason.

"It's nice to know we have something else in common, Ranchan," Ukyo said as she looked at him with fondness, "Skating like this helps me to relax when I want to just let go of all my tensions and concentrate on something that doesn't require either cooking or fighting. Well, unless you count all the Hockey players I've put on the sidelines and the time I've spent in the penalty box."

Perfume frowned as her attention shifted from one companion to the other. Although they were technically linked in a group relationship she still could not help feeling squeezed out whenever these two started talking like this. Ukyo was ignoring her, which was simply not to be tolerated!

Ranma winced slightly, "Well, I'm pretty good, but if you must know, there's somebody who's a lot better than me. He's a real jerk in most ways, goes to another school across town, and his partner's even worse…"

All of a sudden there was a sense of danger coming down from above and all three Martial Artists tensed, then Ranma hastily looked up and cried, "Watch out!" as he shoved an arm at both Ukyo and Perfume.

He slid back out of the way just as Mousse landed squarely on the ice at the point where Ukyo had been standing. As Ukyo recovered from her shove she saw the Chinese boy turn on her with a look of intent mischief, and of a sudden she was worried because her Bakers Peel was no where near in reach.

"We meet again, Kuonji Ukyo!" Mousse declared melodramatically, "Are you ready now to concede your claim on Perfume?"

"What does it take to get it through your head that she doesn't want anything to do with you, you Jackass!" Ukyo snarled, feeling exposed and vulnerable without her usual array of weapons.

Ranma was about to do something pretty violent himself when he heard Perfume cry out in alarm and he suddenly remembered having shoved her a bit harder than he had meant to. He turned his head and saw the girl frantically windmilling her arms as she headed backwards, unable to stop herself as people scattered hastily out of her way. Without a second thought he took off on an intercept course, seeing that she would shortly run into the far wall if he did not do something to stop her.

Mousse turned around and the smile he wore was almost cocky, "Don't pretend any more that you have no interest in my future bride, Kuonji! You've fought hard enough to keep her away from me, but that ends now! Prepare to learn the meaning of true terror!"

He gestured with one hand and suddenly he was holding a bucket. He extended this up and cried, "Do you know what this contains, Kuonji-san? I brought it here at great personal expense on the chance that I might meet up with someone such as you. It contains your doom! Water drawn from one of the Cursed Springs of Jusenkyo!"

"Nani?" Ukyo suddenly darted back on her skates, instantly realizing his intent and dreading it immensely, "You don't mean you'd…? I mean, that's crazy! Or, at the very least, it's pretty excessive…"

"No excuses!" Mouse said menacingly as he drew the pail back, "Just stand still and you'll soon be a whole new--hey! Where do you think you're going?"

"As far away from you as I can get, Moron!" she called out over her shoulder, hoping the Amazon boy was as clueless on ice as Perfume…

Perfume? She suddenly remembered her Chinese betrothed and turned in time to see Ranma interpose himself between the Amazon and the wall. Perfume ran smack into Ranma and drove him back into the barrier, breaking her own momentum as Ranma took the punishment on himself. Both of them collapsed to the floor as she cried, "Ranma!"

"Worry about yourself!" Mousse declared, suddenly upon her with the unexpectedness of a swooping crane. Ukyo had time to see that the boy was indeed wearing some kind of footwear that allowed him to skate. He drew back the pale and threw the contents right at her. Ukyo managed to escape her fate by throwing herself down flat so that the water arced right over her and hit the next person in passing.

That person turned out to be none other than Kodachi!

Kodachi had been drawn by the sound of Mousse's first cry and turned in time to see the long haired boy chase Ukyo as though he were trying to get her wet. A lot of people seemed unusually skittish around water, she noted, Keiko being one of them, although her new friend was pleasant enough company in most important senses. Kodachi frowned as she wondered who the boy was and what issues he might have with a girl who normally went around in drag and was about to ask Keiko for her opinion when the speeding pair started heading right for her. The next thing she knew was that the boy was throwing the water at her. She heard Keiko gasp and reach out to try and pull her away, but it was too late and feeble an effort to prevent the inevitable as Kodachi winced, feeling her body start to tingle. She was about to voice a complaint to the boy about getting her new Leotard wet when something very strange happened.

The world actually seemed to expand while she felt herself collapsing inwardly, and suddenly she was on all fours looking up from the floor with a puzzled expression, twitching her whiskers as she sought to make sense of the rapid change in her perspective.

Keiko had been too late in realizing what Mousse was about to do to save Kodachi from the water. She reached out and managed barely to touch Kodachi's arm before Mousse splashed her, but being that Kodachi took the brunt of it and Keiko already had a Jusenkyo curse she was naturally unaffected.

Kodachi, on the other hand, got very small and sprouted hair from all the wrong places. Keiko lost her balance and landed hard on the ice as her hands clutched hold of an empty green leotard, then she suddenly came nose-to-muzzle with a fuzzy creature with beady red eyes looking in puzzlement right at her.

"K-Kodachi?" Keiko gasped realizing at once that her new friend had become a Ferret!

"You idiot!" Ukyo cried as she suddenly fell to one side and thrust a leg in front of Mousse, tripping the boy and sending him face-first into the ice, "Look what you just did!"

She got back to her feet and came over to where Keiko was holding the Ferret, heedless that she was sitting with her bottom on the ice. Kodachi's skis and clothing lay to one side while several people milled around asking puzzled questions about what they thought they had just seen happen. Ukyo looked down at the transformed Black Rose, realizing in dull dismay that this was the fate Mousse had intended for her, which sort of made it her fault by implication.

"'Dachi, don't worry, I'll take care of you!" Keiko was assuring the very puzzled looking Ferret as Akane and Ryoga also arrived to find out what was causing all the commotion.

"What happened?" Akane asked, seeing Kodachi's belongings laying to one side, then the expression on Keiko's face and suddenly drawing the obvious-but-horrifying conclusion, "No…Kodachi…?"

"It's all my fault!" Ukyo declared, "She took the water that was intended for me!"

"No, It's my fault," Keiko voice was choked, "I should have been looking out for her instead of the other way around! If I'd just reacted a little sooner…"

Meanwhile Perfume was recovering from the shock she had just taken, looking around to discover a groaning Ranma behind her. Her eyes got very wide as she came to the astonishing realization that the boy had put himself in danger for her sake. Why would he do a thing like that, other than to atone for shoving Perfume so rudely in the first place…?

And then her second thought was of Ukyo. Why was she not here looking out for Perfume? It took a few seconds for her to remember Mousse, and then the answer became obvious: her Airen was in trouble!

Getting back to her feet proved more problematic than she had even dreaded but Perfume was frantic to know the fate of her beloved. She was not aware of the man who came up beside her and offered his hand, saying, "There now, beauteous one, no need to distress yourself while there is one such as I who can be counted on to rescue you from your peril."

Perfume looked up into the face of a boy only marginally more handsome than Nabiki in male form, yet who had a kind of dreamy-romantic quality that made her pulse quicken. Without thinking about the whys and wheres of her situation she allowed him to draw her to her feet, then stared as he clasped her hands together and smiled enchantingly and said, "Such rare, delicate beauty, such an innocent flower left adrift upon this icy floe, bereft of companionship, such a thing must not be allowed…"

Vaguely Perfume heard Ranma half-consciously grumble, "Mikado…" but she was too enchanted with the moment to pay much heed to the boy who had actually saved her. Perfume was not used to flattery of this sort and it made her feel like a giddy teenager (which in fact she was, but usually she felt so much older). This man had a real gift with phrase, and while Kuno Tatawaki had been known to spout more flowery praises, somehow this man made them seem genuinely pleasing.

"Who you?" she asked, wishing to know the name of such a wondrous creature.

"Sensenin Mikado," he replied with a bow, "And you?"

"Perfume," she replied, feeling her cheeks flush a rosy red at the way he looked at her, a way she had often wished someone would look towards her, most particularly Ukyo.

Ukyo was still distressed at what had happened to Kodachi while Ryoga was just coming to realize the significance as Akane tersely explained with the word "Jusenkyo." Ryoga's eyes got wide, and then his expression darkened and he growled, "He turned Kodachi into a Ferret?"

"Shhh," Akane glanced around, "Keep it down, will you! This isn't something she'd like to make public…"

"A Ferret?" Mousse cried as finally regained his footing, "She turned into a Ferret? That wasn't supposed to be the name of the spring I got the water from! I don't believe it, I got the wrong spring!"

"MOUSSE NO BAKA!" Akane exploded as she shot towards the boy and delivered a solid punch to his mid-second. Ryoga stumbled after her, intent on pounding the Chinese boy senseless. Ukyo might have gleefully joined them but at that moment she caught a sight out of the corner of her eye that drew her attention back towards Perfume and Ranma.

Who the heck was that guy standing next to Perfume? In sudden interest she turned and skated towards them.

"Don't worry," Keiko continued to hug the Ferret in her arms, "It'll all be right, 'Dachi, you'll see! I'll take you home then I'll explain everything--boy, will I have to do a lot of explaining…"

That was when Kodachi's mind began to unfreeze as the realization that she had somehow been turned into an animal finally penetrated her dull amazement at being so small and helpless. With a sudden burst of anxiety she struggled free of Keiko's grasp, hitting the ice with all four paws and running frantically across the surface with tiny little claws that had no trouble finding a purchase.

She did not get far, however, before a voice cried, "Charlotte! Charlotte! I've finally found you!

Kodachi was enormously surprised to find a pair of hands were grasping her and squeezing her so tight that she could barely draw a breath. She was lifted, struggling, into the arms of a young girl with curling brown hair who held her up to admire her and happily cried, "Charlotte find Azusa! Azusa so happy!"

Kodachi fought for breath, wondering in dismay if this kid were another one of Shampoo's crazy kinfolk!

"Hey you!" Keiko cried as she crawled on her hands and knees in an effort to catch up with them, "That's mine! She belongs to me, give her back!"

"NO," the girl cried fiercely as she hugged the near-unconscious Kodachi to her breast, "You can't have Charlotte! She belongs to Azusa!"

"Like hell!" Keiko snarled, stumbling as she tried to regain her footing and silently cursing herself for being allowing herself to put on the double-accursed footwear.

Meanwhile the man holding Perfume's hand was moving his face closer to hers in preparation for something that the Amazon was too enchanted to recognize in advance as a kiss. Mikado was just about there when somebody slammed into him and sent the handsome boy skating away like a hockey puck.

Perfume blinked in surprise then found Ukyo standing there with a blandly cheerful expression while Mikado bounced off the nearby wall, grunting fiercely.

"Sorry to break up your fun, P-chan, but its time to go," Ukyo smiled, "Mousse just splashed Kodachi with cursed spring water."

Perfume blinked as she tried to register this sudden shift in her attention, then she frowned and said, "Good. Stupid Rose girl deserve it."

"You may not want to judge her so harshly when you see her," Ukyo cautioned, "She's turned into a Ferret."

"A ferret?" Perfume arched an eyebrow, "Why Mousse choose that form…?" she sudden gasped as she made a connection, "Mousse mean do this to you?"

"He tried to," Ukyo replied, "He missed."

Perfume was suddenly seething, "I Kill!"

"Maybe later," Ukyo said, "And I'll help, but…"

"Kuonji Ukyo," said Mikado as he regained his footing, "We meet again."

"Sensenin Mikado," Ukyo returned a patently false smile, "Where's your little partner?"

"Azusa is somewhere about," Mikado replied, "It's been a long time since our last meeting."

"At least a year," Ukyo replied, "I've kept up on your career, of course. The Golden Pair are internationally world famous."

"Phah, a trifle," the young man said boastfully, "My other goal in life has been a far greater sport, but I am finally close to achieving it. Your young friend there was about to give me the satisfaction of my nine hundred and ninety ninth kiss. One more beyond that and I'll have achieved my long-desired thousand."

"In a pigs eye," grunted Ranma, who finally managed to recover both balance and bearings, "You never change, Mikado, still the same heartless rake you were in Middle School…"

"You know him, Ranchan?" Ukyo asked.

"Oh sure," Ranma said as he assumed a martial crouch and raised his hands to attack position, "We go way back, right Mikado old buddy?"

"Indeed," Mikado replied airily, "And you're still the same callous boor you always were, Saotome. I doubt you've even as yet kissed one lovely lady, you being so pathetic…"

"Excuse please," Perfume slowly turned around to look at him, "Boy say he kiss one thousand girls? Is big goal in life?"

"That's the kind of sick game he likes to play, Perfume-chan," Ranma informed her.

"And boy think Perfume is thousandth girl for him?" Perfume continued with a studied expression of semi-neutrality.

"Perfume," Mikado smiled, "The very name is fragrant…"

"Perfume thanks boy for explaining," Perfume said, and then before anyone could react she made a KIIAA! noise and kicked Mikado in the face with one knee. Her landing was far from perfect but for a straight-out trajectory maneuver the execution was flawless. Mikado hit the ice twenty meters away and skidded all the way to the opposite wall.

"Now Perfume say we go," Perfume said with a sniff, "Thank Ukyo-chan for protecting Perfume from big mistake. We got find Stupid Rose Girl-Ferret now, okay?"

"Uh, sure…right this way," Ukyo said as she recovered from her surprise, only to find Keiko was not where she had left her, "Uh oh…"

"What was that about a Ferret?" Ranma asked as he looked around the rink then noticed two other people were missing, "Hey, where are Shampoo and Nabiki?"

"Saotome-san?" asked Ryonami as she came skating up holding a folded up piece of paper, "Kaneda-sama asked me to deliver this to you. He said it was urgent."

"Thank you, Ryonami-san," Ranma replied as he unfolded the note and read it, then paled, "Oh my…it's from Nabiki all right. Seems Shampoo got sick all of a sudden and had to be taken to the doctors."

"Shampoo cousin?" Perfume blinked, "She never sick! What happen?"

"I don't know, it just says what I read," Ranma said, "Look, I'll catch up with you later, just as soon as I call Doctor Tofu's and find out what this is all about. Fill me in about Kodachi being a Ferret later, all right?"

"Sure thing, Ranchan," Ukyo replied, looking to Perfume as he skated off and murmuring, "I hope it's not serious."

"Perfume hope so too," Perfume fervently replied then said, "Help Perfume off ice, Airen, then we find Keiko-san and stupid Ferret girl. No see them here."

"Right," Ukyo said as she took Perfume's arm and gave a last withering glare in the direction of Mikado…

"Sensei?" Nabiki looked up sharply as Doctor Tofu approached her from the back. She did not want to admit it but even clinics such as this made her intensely nervous. There was too much memory of a time when she was a little girl and the patient had been her mother…

"She'll be all right," Tofu replied, "Your wife's a strong and healthy young girl, she just needs to take it a bit easier than she's used to, but things should all work out find and we can expect no immediate complications."

"Complications?" Nabiki blinked in growing confusion, "What do you mean? Do you know why she was vomiting all of a sudden?"

Tofu looked at the young man before him, whom he was given to understand was a long-lost relation to Tendo Kasumi, a woman he very much cared for. Despite the fellow's obvious intelligence and alertness it seemed this boy had missed all of the obvious clues and was expecting a pathological diagnosis. Tofu adjusted his glassed and gave his most reassuring smile.

"Hasn't your wife told you yet?" he asked, "I suppose it's not too surprising, most young ladies don't start showing signs until they're further along in their trimester…"

"Hold it!" Nabiki raised his hands to make a "Time Out" gesture and said, "Back up a moment. Did you just say…trimester?"

Tofu sighed, "I know of no easy way of saying this if no one has given you any advanced warning, Kaneda-san, but I am pleased to report that your wife is about two months pregnant. Congratulations…"

Continued

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